#albeit a bit unnerving with regard to my sanity ahaha

[mxanigel]

impulsive OC interview

"Interviewer": Thanks for taking the time to chat with me today.

Shion: This is silly. You realize this is silly, right?

Yes.

All right. Just making sure.

So let's dive right in. How do you feel about being pregnant?

Oh, you're starting there. It's honestly not something I wanted. I've never seen myself as a mother. You know full well why.

*coughs*

A n y w a y. Just because I've never desired it doesn't mean I'm opposed to it. Though did you have to pick those particular circumstances?

Which ones, specifically?

That might be the worst possible time for Levi to discover that he's going to be a father.

Perhaps, but would you want to raise this child any earlier?

*pauses* You have a point. However, he might have liked it to happen earlier.

In the middle of a war?

All right, perhaps not. Were you going somewhere with these questions?

You derailed the interview by asking your own.

That makes it a conversation, doesn't it? And you enjoy conversations.

True. I did want to ask about the child's name. Why Petra Zoë Ackerman?

All three of us care deeply about remembering those we've lost, and we all knew Petra. Though I didn't know her for as long, she was essential to me fitting in despite being an outsider. I didn't realize it at the time, but she helped me remember how to make friends, how to open up to others. Perhaps I would've eventually been honest with Hange and vulnerable with Levi, but perhaps not given how much shit hit the fan starting with the disastrous 57th Expedition.

Whoa. I didn't realize that.

Why does this not surprise me? *laughs* At this rate, you should've called the fic "Where Did This Come From?" rather than "Cut to the Feeling."

Ouch.

As for the rest of our daughter's name, it includes Ackerman for what I hope are obvious reasons, and I insisted on Zoë because Hange is as much her parent as myself or Levi. And that's plenty for one little girl. I didn't need to burden her with my last name as well.

That's so cute~

I'm glad you think so. Though that comment means I need to remind you just how damned silly this exercise is.

Sure. Just roll with it for me, please?

Fine. What else do you want to know?

The three of you fall in varied places along the ace spectrum. How do you feel about, you know, sleeping with them?

*chuckles* For someone who writes smut, you sure like to be coy with questions like these.

Shush.

On the surface, it may seem strange, right? People should want sex to have sex. And I do. Occasionally. For me, there's a gap of sorts between the "attraction" part and the "having sex" part. In general, I don't feel sexually attracted to other people -- I see a person, they're a person, perhaps a gorgeous person, yet sex just isn't part of the equation. Raunchy jokes and conversations aside, sexual thoughts often don't occur to me in situations others might see as inherently sexual. For example, sleeping next to Levi is one of my favorite things in the world, but that's because we're vulnerable when we're sleeping, and him being comfortable with me at his side in such circumstances brings me so much joy. I'm so happy he's amenable to snuggling.

But back to your question. If I'm going to have sex, I need to be in love with that person first. And I'm in love with Levi. So sleeping with him in the not-literal sense appeals to me, assuming I'm up for sex in that moment. The same goes for Hange, though sorting out those feelings takes a while. But you already knew that.

Hey, OT3s are new to both of us.

I'm not sure whether I should berate you or thank you for being your guinea pig here.

How do you even know what a guinea pig is?

What, you think we don't have pets within the Walls?

I hadn't considered it before. Okay, this feels like a good place to stop.

Here? Not earlier? *laughs*

Thanks for playing along, Shion.

Sure. But I recommend against making a habit of this.

I don't plan to!