#akayuki angst

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Remember | {AkaYuki}

Theme: Angst

Note: Takes place a year after he turned into a demon Akaza spoilers<33 I think I started this in, like, july 2023 ;-; and yet I finished in december bc i forgot abt it wow

Akaza paused. It was darker over here. Hopefully there weren't any demon slayers hiding around this place; he did not feel like fighting today. Right now. Because today was significant to him. It was exactly a year after.. after something. Something that was big in his life. What was it? He racked his brain for answers, but found none. Perhaps if he sat somewhere calm he would remember. As he walked away from the darker spot, and found a illuminated place in the forest, he heard the sound of rushing water coming from his right. He realized there was a waterfall there and decided to settle there for now. 

It was indeed peaceful, for the night was clear so you could see the stars, and the sound of the water was beautiful as well. It should clear his mind perfectly and he could think. Remember. 

Except.. it didn't help. It helped his body relax slightly but his mind was still a mess. He kept having flashes of his bloody hands, of red, a lot of red. But.. it shouldn't have impacted him so much, should it? He was used to killing. He'd already killed so many in the year he'd been a demon. Why was it so scary? 

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through the water. He looked up at the sky, examining the stars. It was beautiful. He remembered vaguely standing with somebody in the light of the moon, telling them something. Comfort, perhaps? What was it? 

Then, with a sudden jolt, he remembered a name. An important name. Koyuki. Who was this 'Koyuki'? The name was so... familiar... So... so meaningful. Who were they? She... she was a girl he'd lived with? One close to him... A family member? A friend? A... no... his fiancé... They had been engaged, right? About to marry... Who was this other person? He... he looks familiar as well... Keizo... And then all at once. His memories flooded his brain, as if the waterfall was pouring into his head.

Akaza blinked furiously, fighting the urge to cry. Shit, shit, shit, he must not cry here. He couldn't, even if there wasn't anyone around. What was with him? What about this was so...

He looked up suddenly, gasping for a reason he didn't know. He breathed in in sharp intakes, placing a hand on his chest and pressing furiously. 

Breathe. Breathe you fucking idiot.

He looked down at his hand, moving it away from his chest to lay palm-up on his lap. This hand... had done so many things. And someone had held it... held it lovingly despite all the bad things he'd done with it. Who was it?

Koyuki.

The name rung desperately in his head, as if trying to tell him something. Koyuki... a girl who had been set to marry him. Who had loved him enough to marry him. Who was she?

Akaza's sigh echoed around him and he placed his head in his hands, cradling it. His head hurt too much from thinking, from trying to remember something so far away. 

Think.

Exactly a year ago, Akaza had... turned into a demon? Yes. And that same day, either before or after, something important had happened. With... a girl. The girl. Koyuki. And... the other person. Keizo. Who were they to him? A... fiancé and a father. Okay. That was good.

What else?

Where were they?

Akaza sat in silence for a long moment, letting the rushing sound of the waterfall fill his mind. He closed his eyes, his breath slightly muted by his hands over his face.

He lifted his head after a minute, sudden realization striking him. They were dead. 

His body sagged. Of course they were. Perhaps they were bad? And... had brought Akaza to the point of becoming a demon?

No. No that sounded all wrong. It was wrong.

They were... good. And something happened to them that had brought him to become a demon.

Yes, yes, that was right.

But what was it?

What had made them... die? 

Akaza blinked. Right, they died.

And he had hated that, supposedly. Become a demon to... avenge them?

No, that also sounded wrong. 

Then... what? 

He turned around, his eyes watching the water crash down against the rocks. He slipped his feet into the freezing water, shuddering for a minute before he got used to it.

He smiled to himself, resting his hands on the rocks as he stared into the small pool that the forest had created. 

Koyuki.

He looked around, confused. Had someone spoken? No, that was his head again. 

Remember, Hakuji.

Hakuji? Who the hell was that?

Akaza closed his hands into fists. Who were these people? Why did they matter to him?

I love you, Hakuji.

What? 

I promise to protect you forever, Koyuki. I promise.

Liar. You can't protect anyone forever. 

But... but why?

I love you.

Who? Who do you love? Why?

You.

Him? Akaza? How? How could he be loved? How could anyone love him after everything he'd done? After he'd brought blood into the Soryu Martial Arts style? The one Keizo had taught him. 

Wait.

Keizo had taught him.

So that's who he was. 

Akaza stood, slipping out of the water and back onto the ground. 

He started pacing around, thinking things through.

There had been a girl whom had loved him, a man who had taught him to fight, their deaths, the turn of the demon, and... one more. There was one more piece of information he was forgetting. The cause of their deaths.

The blood.

His mind flashed back to the past and he stopped dead in his tracks. Poison. There had been poison involved and Akaza... No, Hakuji, had killed the poisoners. And then... and then Muzan came and... 

Akaza sat back down. 

Fuck. Fuck he couldn't stop them this time.

Tears poured down his cheeks and he desperately tried—and failed—to stop them, but his mind was caught on Koyuki's face, her face smiling up at him and saying she loved him. And how he'd said then, how he'd promised to keep her protected forever.

And yet she'd died.

This very day, one year ago.

She had died.

So you remember...

Yes, yes he remembered. He remembered every fucked up thing he'd done.

I love you, Hakuji.

But why?

You've helped me so much.

He did. He had helped. When he was human. When he wasn't a fucking monster.

Thank you.

For?

Akaza felt frustrated and he turned abruptly and smashed some of the rocks surrounding the waterfall, keeping the water in.

It spilled out onto the forest floor and Akaza felt his emotions pour out of him likewise, feeling numb inside but somehow feeling everything at once. 

Why. Why?! He didn't want to remember! He didn't want to know!

The memories started fading and the water began to spill out less and less, drawing out to a small trickle of water that would soon stop into nothing. 

Akaza blinked.

Why had he been mad?

He looked down at his clothes, soaked through from the water of the waterfall.

Whatever, he decided. He didn't need to know. He didn't want to remember.

{Word count: 1171}

this... was more depressing than I'd intended it to be!! it was originally supposed to end in fluff!

well that idea's out of the way <33

[eijun-enjoyer]

by TheRyuuhou

The year is 2095.

Recently transferred with Jungkook and Hoseok to Kyoto's Metropolitan Surveillance Corporations, Min Yoongi has just a few murders and a criminal dubbed "Akayuki" on his hands. The would normally be peaceful city of old cultures and traditions hides several dark and sinister characters and Min Yoongi has just been caught up in the middle of it all. Along the way he meets a beautiful and elusive android and can't help but fall in love.

However, Jungkook proceeds to get more and more distant from him, things take a turn for the worse.

Turns out Yoongi can't even trust his closest friends as his life begins to crumble into disarray. Murders begin to increase in number and brutality, he wonders if he can make it out of this god forsaken city with his life even if it means leaving someone behind to die.

Words: 2149, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung | V, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim Namjoon | RM, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin | Jin

Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Taehyung | V

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Kyoto, Alternate Universe - Geisha, Assassination, Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Assassination Attempt(s), Assassination Plot(s), Gay, Gay Sex, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal, Anal Plug, Double Anal Penetration, Anal Beads, Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Sex, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Smut, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Betrayal, Trust Issues, Loss of Trust, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Partial Mind Control, Mind Sex, Brainwashing, Past Brainwashing, Shibari, Bondage, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Sub Park Jimin (BTS), Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Top Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, Jeon Jungkook & Kim Taehyung | V Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is Whipped, Dom Kim Taehyung | V, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Dom Min Yoongi | Suga, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, Grumpy Min Yoongi | Suga, Min Yoongi | Suga is So Done, Depressed Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Best Friends, Sad Min Yoongi | Suga, Top Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Cute Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Sad Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Is Whipped, Established Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Protective Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Is a Little Shit, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Is a Sweetheart, Top Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook Is Bad at Feelings, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Sub Jeon Jungkook, Sweet Jeon Jungkook

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Nectar love | {HakuYuki}

Theme: Floofy angst

Note: I have only written these two once it's practically illegal atp (and technically it was AkaYuki not HakuYuki...)

so i must write them more

×××

It was a mistake. A big one. But what would go wrong? What, when her health was improving so perfectly, when his strength was growing, when...

Then she was better, she was well. She could stand, she could run, she would do whatever she minded. For a moment then, Hakuji wondered. He wondered if, now that he had no use, they would throw him out. Tell him to go find a life for himself, by himself. He was nearing eighteen, after all. 

Yet they welcomed him. They allowed him to stay, they encouraged it. They wanted him there. 

Wanted. It was a strange word. To be wanted. Nobody had ever wanted Hakuji before. He was troublesome, he stole things and helped with nothing. He inflicted fights, was explosive, nobody had ever wanted that. But Koyuki, Keizo. They... wanted him.

So he stayed. He got engaged with her, with Koyuki. He loved her. He truly did, with all his being. He promised to be at her side always, to hold her hand, to bring her flowers. He would be there for her, he would protect her from anything that would try to hurt her, he would do anything for her. 

His father's grave sat in a desolate graveyard. It was the only one in the town, people rarely cared much to bury the dead. They were tossed aside, left out to rot. But Hakuji had dug this one himself, used his own hands and lifted his father slowly into the hole, patting down the dirt. He had carved the rock he had set there painstakingly, had nestled it above his father's head, bringing flowers for him from time to time. 

Sometimes he would bring the flowers he'd gotten for Koyuki, once they had wilted slightly. He didn't like putting things to waste, liked using everything until it was no more. So he put the flowers on his father's grave, letting them mix with the dirt, freshening it. 

He brought fresh flowers this time. White and red, ceremonial colors of a wedding. He placed the bundle neatly on the grave, sitting down in front of it. He clasped his hands together in a quick prayer before speaking, telling his father of his upcoming marriage. He was ecstatic, feeling like he could finally, truly be content with his life. He felt like he could live, now. And be happy about it.

He rose as the sun set, intending to find more flowers for Koyuki. He found a field, picked the prettiest of the flowers. But even the most beautiful, most precious of the roses lost their petals and wilted eventually. Even angels like Koyuki died.

The flowers were no longer newly picked, but he still gave them to Koyuki. He had spent hours carving out hers and Keizo's grave markers, redoing them if he made even the slightest mistake. It was his fault, after all. It didn't matter how many times it took, this had to be perfect for them. It was the least he could've done.

He wound the flower's stems around each other, creating a crown. He placed it on top of the stone, on top of the grave which held his dear Koyuki's body, nestled in the earth. Tears blurred his vision and he couldn't think. Couldn't fathom what he had done wrong, why the world kept taking from him. If he was destined to be alone. 

Rage overtook his grief as suddenly as one could express and he sought to find those who had taken the last two people he could ever care for. He fought blindly, letting the hot, red, boiling anger guide him. Until he stood admist the bodies of those who had wronged Koyuki, those who used jealousy as a justification, those who had killed the two most perfect people in the world. They were selfish people. But then again, so was Hakuji. Despite somehow avoiding the consequences of his own stupidity, he still cursed the world as if he was the one being hurt. 

He alone should've been killed. He should've left Koyuki and Keizo alone, should've respected his father's wishes to not steal. All of it was his own fault. All of it.

×××

« Word count: 1239 »

well that took a lovely turn (i loved writing this a lot oml)

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Haku/AkaYuki masterlist !

Fluff:

4th of July

Angst:

Remember

Fluff+Angst:

Nectar love