#aka I get way too in depth about gay shipping 101

[catsandcatci]

Hey guys! Guess who’s back on their bullshit?

Okay, disclaimer right now, I have not formally studied psychology, sociology, anything about that funky little grey matter in general, so this entire thing will consist of, as I have said before, my bullshit. 

Alright. Here goes. 

We all have had at least one instance where we encountered someone who shipped a gay couple even if they themselves are not gay, right? (Hell, considering this is tumblr, most of y’all can probably relate) The dreaded fujoshi among them? Now, not that I find this anything odd, myself, but it has occurred to me many times that people not familiar with fandom likely think this odd, or, citing the literal meaning of “fujoshi,” rotten. At the same time, I refuse to think that all the people that find joy in reading about homosexual couples (mainly straight women who enjoy yaoi and the like, but also the reverse and everything in between) like those things out of some purely fetishized, lustful mindset. That is not to say that that kind of fan isn't out there, but I perceive them as a radical and vocal minority. Like politics (god I hate politics). 

So, that begs the question, why? Why then do many straight girls and women turn to gay pairings? There are several reasons I can think of, none of them overly comforting (you’ll see why).

One: A lack of meaningful heterosexual relationships in media, romantic or otherwise. 

Yeah, don’t we know it? I like to think of romance as something resulting from friendship and emotional bonds (friends to lovers, you know the drill), but apparently, most shows and books don’t agree. Or, they agree too much. How many times can you say that you have even seen a relationship between a male and female in a show, movie, or book that didn’t shift from platonic to romantic? That in itself is, to my mind, harmful, as I had many difficulties forming friendships with guys, as once a meaningful friendship begins to form, then the pressure for romance began. If not from friends, then from family, or from the guy in question, or perhaps even my own subconscious which said “this should lead to romance, right?” Wrong!

Now, wlw or mlm couples? That expectation doesn't exist at all. It’s an escape, and it’s comforting,  isn’t it?

Two: The romantic connection itself is generally extremely well developed.

Not all romances are created equal, and one has to admit that there is a large discrepancy between heterosexual and homosexual relationships due to heteronormativity. A man and a woman speaking? Must be love, smash em together like the classic story of a Disney princess marrying the first man she meets! Two men sharing their lives with one another, supporting each other through tragedy and baring their souls to each other? Very good friends, someone should write in some wives for them!

Sorry for the exaggeration. But that’s really how it feels sometimes. Has anyone else ever noticed (this is aimed at people who read BL, mainly), that while you don’t mind reading, say, a kiss (or dare I say intercourse) between the two main characters at what is often the very, very end of the novel (looking at MXTX novels, here), the same thing in a movie between a man and a woman is extremely off-putting? Yeah? That’s development, baby. Because for some reason, many heterosexual relationships are underdeveloped, while in order for a homosexual relationship to even be considered, there has to be insane amount of development (*cough* heteronormativity *cough*). 

This is not only harmful for those in the LGBTQ+ community, but really everyone involved, because it teaches young people that relationships should just happen (and they shouldn’t). 

Three: Equality within a relationship

This is my third and final point, which really kicked off this whole thought process and thus this post (read: me venting). And yeah, you heard me. I think that many people (especially young women and teenage girls) tend to turn to shipping homosexual couples because, to many, there exists a precedence of inequality in heterosexual relationships. Historically, men have been considered the breadwinner (and isn’t there that pesky thing called “man of the household”?) while women generally were expected to be in charge of domestic affairs (ah! classic republican motherhood!). Times are changing, that’s true, but they haven’t been changed for long in the grand scheme of things, and male chauvinism is still absolutely rampant, especially where I live. So, where is it that there exists no precedence of inequality? A homosexual relationship. (That is not to say that it is not present at all, but in an invariably smaller degree, nonetheless)

And there you have it. In fact, I don’t think that this is a conscious thing. It took me a very long time to put my finger on the why of it all, or what I perceive it to be anyways, and I tend to overanalyze things. 

Please, tell me your opinions. Love it? Hate it? Think I’m stupid, or perhaps the next Plato? (don't answer that last one)