#aka (feanor/finwe shushname) (skillful/crafty lady)

[fuckingfinwions]

Deerskin (aka Donkey Skin) fairy tale au Finwe/ Feanor

Wikipedia: “One day his wife died, after making him promise not to marry except to a woman whose beauty and attributes equaled hers.  The king grieved, but was, in time, persuaded to seek another wife.  It became clear that the only woman who would fit the promise was his daughter."

_-_-_

Miriel died, and Finwe grieved. He knew that never again would he find anyone with such beauty and such passion as hers. Their only son, Feanor, was the one bright spot in Finwe’s days, even as he mourned that Feanor was alone. He had always dreamed of a large family, with all his children playing together. Instead Feanor was serious and solitary, isolated by genius and royalty and his mother’s death.

The years passed, Feanor grew, and Finwe tried to move past his wife’s death. None could match her of course, but perhaps he could find someone to be content with. He began spending time with Indis of Valmar, who was pretty and smart and would make a perfectly fine mother.

Feanor was enraged at the attempt to make a new family - one that he saw no place for himself in. Oh, Finwe claimed that they would all get along, but that was an obvious lie. There would be a succession of little children who would all play joyful games Feanor, already old enough to be apprenticed, was too old to be entertained by. So he would be off to the side, not hated but simply not considered, and the pattern would not break when the children did grow old enough to be interesting. They would have their jokes and memories that Feanor had no part in, just as every other group Feanor had tried and failed to join, and those would be what they built their relationships as adults on. And Finwe would see the chance of pleasing Feanor alone or all the others, and as the just and wise king would do what worked for the majority rather than privileging one.

Feanor would not stand for that to happen. He yelled and screamed as he had not before. He made eloquent speeches on the dignity of marriage, and biting insults to Indis and the Vanyar in general.

Finwe was entranced. He had never seen this side of Feanor before. He did not back away from his pursuit of Indis, watching every time as Feanor became more wild in his fury. Finwe even went so far as to petition the Valar for allowance, though he knew by now that he could never be content with Indis.

In time the Valar agreed that remarraige could be permitted in this case, and all of Tirion was awaiting an announcement of the wedding day.

Then Finwe broke off his engagement.

Indis was confused, but Finwe spared her little attention as she returned to Valmar. His thoughts were on Feanor, and how to spark that passion and creativity.

Feanor was off balance, as if a boulder he'd been pushing with all his weight was suddenly removed. He wanted to feel happy, but instead was nervous that his loss of Finwe had only been delayed, not prevented. He snapped at his father and argued, trying to see why Finwe would go to all this trouble to be permitted to start a new family, and then back down at the last minute. Finwe would engage and argue, but only ever to a limit. Then he would go silent, and Feanor could tell there was a tremendous secret his father was hiding.

Was Feanor himself so inadequate, that Finwe could not bear knowing that Finwe would never get another try at a child? A remarraige to anyone, to get any child at all, would be sufficient to surpass him? Feanor didn't like the idea, but it fit.

Feanor refused to accept that. He would become the greatest of all, so Finwe would have no choice but to respect and treasure him, even if the love went away. He left Tirion and apprenticed himself to a blacksmith.

The royal guard brought him back less than a week later. The master blacksmith was asked to move into the palace though, and agreed, so Feanor studied under him. Feanor didn’t understand why Finwe cared so much to keep him close, but he was glad of it.

Finwe watched Feanor learn about smithwork and grow in his skill. Feanor needed little provocation to speak at length about the latest technique he had mastered or a difficult piece he was working on.

The passion in Feanor’s voice and the spark in his eye at such discussion was just as enthralling as Miriel expounding on her weaving.

Years passed. Feanor became friends with the master blacksmith, and friendly with the smith’s children, but always Finwe was first in his heart. 

Feanor was a wunderkind of a smith, mastering the basics in a few years and inventing his own improved techniques before he had studied for a decade. Though typically an elf was not declared a master of their craft until after they had reached their majority, it was obvious that there was no reason to hold Feanor back so. The ceremony was planned for nearly two years before Feanor came of age, on the first day of spring.

Feanor worried greatly in the weeks leading up to the ceremony. Finwe had not spoken at all of marriage since Indis, and Feanor had no idea why. Finwe obviously wished for love and companionship beyond that of a son, as well as for more children to raise and take pride in. The silence was hiding something, some reason Finwe didn’t want Feanor to know. And the silence would be broken someday, as Finwe would not be content to be single indefinitely.

There was one obvious reason that fit. It was cause enough for Finwe to not share his plan with Feanor, and had a deadline after which Finwe would remarry without guilt: Elves view their offspring’s childhood as a time of greatest importance. A new romance would draw Finwe’s attention away from his eldest son as Feanor grew to maturity. So Finwe was playing out the clock, focusing on Feanor now so he would not miss anything irreplaceable if he ignored Feanor later.

And Feanor was nearly an adult.

The day of Feanor’s graduation same, bright and clear with the first flowers blooming. Feanor managed to look solemn and awed rather than on the verge of tears. The festivities lasted all day, but at last Feanor was able to retreat to the solitude of his chambers.

When Finwe entered the room, Feanor’s heart started to pound. When he said he had a serious matter to discuss, that he had waited until Feanor was old enough to fully understand, Feanor clenched his fist to keep from shaking with terror at the obviously imminent breaking of their relationship.

Feanor nearly wept in relief when Finwe revealed his true intentions. Finwe did not wish to be parted from Feanor at all! Instead he loved Feanor far more deeply than Feanor had ever suspected.

Finwe asked Feanor to consider marrying him, and think on it for however long it took to be certain of the answer.

Feanor responded by kissing his father on the lips. If the way to keep Finwe close was simply to love him, and let him love Feanor, that was a price Feanor had no questions about paying.

Their wedding ceremony was combined with the celebration of Feanor coming of age, the single day being the largest celebration Tirion had ever seen.