#aka 'stay' by her and 'i'll never love again' from star is born Gutted me thank u goodnight

[raayllum]

I’M SORRY THIS TIME IT WAS BOTH → i either fall deeply into love or depression (a rayla pov playlist both during & post-ttm)

i. i’d give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me ii. and i’m so scared of losing all control, don’t you tell me “it’s better to let go” iii. i’ll lie to you, screaming “i’d die for you,” knowing how hard it'll be to get back where we started iv. i love you enough to let you go v. my anxiety tells me that you’re better off without me vi. maybe it’s the way i was raised or how i’m wired in my brain, but i never seem to be enough for me vii. i’m going through changes but i swear i’m the same, could you show me some mercy if i start to stray? viii. for me to leave out of love for you ix. and i’m sorry for the way i keep calling in my sleep, but i’ve never felt, i never felt you ever got the best of me x. i took the most that you could offer, i’m gonna drag you right down to the bottom xi. and i know i can be pretty mean, but you mean the world to me xii. cause in my head i do everything right xiii. you’re the reason that i’m alive, you’re what i can’t live without xiv. i wish i could run to you, and i hope you know that every time i don’t, i almost do xv. cause i’ve packed my bags in the middle of the night, a thousand times i’ve got up to say goodbye xvi. a debt i’ll never pay, i’m talking to the walls xvii. angels like you can’t fly down here with me, i’m everything they said i would be xviii. one day i’ll be just a memory and you’ll be better, be better off without me xix. beat my heart all black and blue, it still ain’t half as bad as what i put you through xx. ‘cause i have no right to love you when i chose to walk away, i have no right to miss you when i didn’t want to stay xxi. i’ll push you out again, cause when i hate myself enough i hurt the ones i love xxii. i lost myself that night, i threw it all away, those are the things i’ve hated, then i went and caved xxiii. how many times have i left you in the deep? i don’t know why you still believe in me xxiv. made you feel so hard to love, but it was me who wasn’t good enough xxv. i know i did all the shitty things to you i said i never ever would xxvi. will it burn if i always leave behind what i love so it can’t say goodbye? xxvii. between cities of people who don’t know me, do i even know myself? xxviii. i’m addicted to the madness, i’m a daughter of the sadness, i’ve been here too many times before xxix. it’s a hellish lie, i’m ashamed of all i’ve done, now i’m terrified of the price that is to pay xxx. if i woke up with you in the morning, i’d forget all the ways that we’re broken, i don’t care if you’ve changed, i don’t even have to stay xxxi. swear i’m different than before, i won’t hurt you anymore, ‘cause you were good to me xxxii. thought i could do this on my own, i’ve lost so much along the way, then i’ll see your face, and know i’m finally yours, i find everything i thought i lost before

AND I KNOW I DON’T BELONG HERE WITHOUT YOU → and i don’t know where you are (a rallum pov playlist both during & post-ttm) 

i. something happened when you were a kid, i didn’t know you then and i’ll never understand why it feels like i did ii. was there something i could’ve said to make it all start hurting? it kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless iii. you told me you loved me, so why did you go away? iv. jamie’s got secrets he doesn’t confide, and i’m still hurting v. i hope you know as i wait, i suffocate vi. i almost died the day i lost you, i’ll keep breathing vii. i would’ve walked through hell to find another way, i would’ve laid to me down if i knew that you would stay viii. all i wanted was you ix. and i don’t know when i’ll see you again, i miss you when i least expect it x. yeah i know, one day i’ll have to let it all go, but i keep it just in case xi. come on, don’t leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out xii. tell myself i’m alright, baby, you’re just harder to see than most xiii. keep my soul if you want it, hold my hand, stop wasting it all xiv. i’m scared you’ll leave me in the ground xv. gave you too much but it wasn’t enough, but i’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts xvi. flaked on me back in august, and if i’m honest, you’ve gotten harder to figure out xvii. but maybe that’s kinda the problem, cause i still think it was up to me, when i never could’ve made you stay xviii. when shit don’t go your way, you needed me to fix it, and like me, i did xiv. but you don’t know what it’s like to lose you, cause i only lose my mind when i ain’t got you xx. i might seem bitter, it’s cause i love you xxi. small town boy in a big arcade, i got addicted to a losing game xxii. if you could go back knowing what you know now, what would you do? xxiii. 'cause my world keeps turnin', and turnin', and turnin', and i'm not movin' on xxiv. you can leave me if you wish, my love, but i’m not going anywhere xxv. call me if you need a friend, or never talk to me again, but please stay xxvi. if i could just see you, everything would be alright xxvii. wipe all my tears as i stop in the rain, where do i go from here? xxviii. no power on earth, if i can’t love her xxix. i know i’ll see you on the other side xxx. you’re where i wanna go, the part of me that’s you will never die xxxi. what if you believed me and you were mine? what if we could make it all our lives? xxxii. if there’s no one else beside you when your soul embarks, i will follow you into the dark