#aite how do we feel abt this bc im feeling this

[hardskz]

[ 10:46 pm ] “god, i’ve been hard all day.” the words come out as a hoarse sigh and cause more adrenaline to run through your veins, as if the blindfold covering your sight wasn’t enough. you fist the sheets even tighter and suppress a moan when a third digit is circling around your rim. “think you can handle a third finger, baby?”

you were absolutely hooked on the idea when felix brought up his liking to having a threesome. you were surprised but should’ve seen it coming when he said he knew a guy who was open to this idea too. you only took it with a grain of salt when said guy was his close friend chan who also happened to be a global fucking superstar sporting two million followers on twitter and a large herd of fans thirsting over him. 

“his only condition is that he doesn’t want you to see his face,” felix told you, which made you raise eyebrows. “i promise you though, it really is him.”

you didn’t think anything good would jump out. maybe mystery guy had some kind of inferiority complex and was into roleplaying as other people? who the fuck knows. you didn’t set any high expectations going into this predicament. 

but oh boy. oh boy.

you haven’t seen his face (or his body) even once, but the confidence dripping from his voice has you rubbing your thighs together. you’ve heard this voice too many times on the radio and on tv — no doubt that he really is chan. the australian accent that seems to ring more prominent in this setting doesn’t help either. nor does his significantly bigger hands than felix’s.

“he asked you a question, baby,” felix rasps, his hot breath fanning against your neck. he presses a thumb on your bottom lip, causing you to swallow thickly before squeaking out a weak “yeah”.

not even a heartbeat later, chan pushes a third digit into you. your voice breaks and the borderline pornographic moan following suit has felix’s breath hitching, yet you don’t find it within you to care. chan seems to be impressed by your responsiveness and lets out an airy chuckle. “god, you’re so tight but it looks like you want to be filled up even more, hm?” the words are so filthy that you can’t help but moan.

taking advantage of your parted lips, felix muffles your voice as he shoves three fingers past them. “ssh, the walls aren’t soundproof. we don’t want our neighbors to hear you and barge in with the complaints, do we? don’t want anyone disturbing us, do we?” the sensation of you being stuffed in every way possible and the lack of vision has your head spinning, and you arch your back when both of them speed up their thrusts.

“you’re so filthy, baby. do you even know how pathetic you look right now?” felix starts, groaning as you eagerly suck on his fingers. “bet you’re about to cry because it feels so good. you’re almost there, aren’t you?”

“my my, you’re a selfish one,” chan adds, just as he curls his fingers and hits your nerves with full force, drawing a muffled cry from you. “all you’ve done is just lie there and take it while we’re the ones doing the work and yet you’re still about to come first?”

the words hold some truth to them. your response is garbled around felix’s fingers. a hand detaches from the sheets and slowly reaches down, but before you can get any further, chan grabs your wrist and plants it right beside your hip. “if you’re already coming first, you’re going to come untouched.”

before you can interject, he speeds up his movements, fingers thrusting in and out of you in a frantic pace and curling up in all the right places. meanwhile, felix pulls his fingers out before his mouth latches onto yours for a kiss. except, it’s more of a clash of teeth and tongues and drool leaking out of the corners of your lips. it’s too much for you to process at once, and the next thing you do process, felix swallows your cries up whole as you come undone while chan keeps pounding your nerves until you finish riding out your high.

felix detaches himself from you to catch some air. your heartbeat is still banging against your ribcage as you sink into the aftereffects of your orgasm. chan is about to pull out too but comes to a standstill when you place your hand on his wrist. “n-not... yet...” you cringe at how broken your voice comes out, but decide to suck it up.

confusion is laced in chan’s tone. “pardon, what?”

“want... m-more...”

it’s silent for a moment. another silence after felix breathes out a wary “like right now? are you sure?” and then chan speaks up.

“fucking hell, you’re such a greedy slut. fine then, whatever you want, you will gladly get.”

[gayspock]

anyways forever late... bake off ep 5

- anyways idk ive been deprssed as FUCK again i havent been able to watch bakeoff . fucking mento illness. but anwyays here we go

- also . this is so premature. i saw ppl gushing abt peter again and idk im jsut filled with rage. idk wht it is abt him tht i hate SO much....... i think its just all the praise hes getting when tbh. i havent been wowed by anything hes done. no offence peter. u have a smug little face. sick of it all.

- wait.... was i mad bc he stole sb from sura in ep 1. i think so.

- probabyl that.

- god i miss sura im so mad shes gone im so SAD shes gone . fuck it all and i think i know who leaves this ep sick of how i get spoilt so easily i like the bakeoff page on fb and i rarely check fb just for my unifessions page and they always jsut post spoilers. tired of it.

-OHW AIT. I FORGOT. HERMINE IS STILL HERE. I THINK. I HAVENT HEARD WHISPER OF HER BEING BOOTED. i hope she stays omg i lvoe her so much

- ok so cornish pasties first off??? thts weird like. I GET IT but also u kno... how much variation cn they do on those??? other than pastry designs?? and even thn like.... the kinda pastry u use for cornish pasties puff up and lose shape easily like hmm and huhhh?

- oh

- wAIT YOU JSUT MAN... PASTIES IN GENERAL . LIKE WHY DIDNT U SAY THT. FUCKIN LAURA OUT HERE WITH A CHEESE AND ONION. am i stupid i thought cornish pasty specifically meant,.... well cornish pasty and i thoguth it did come with some slight variations but tht it wa smostly same y hence the confusion like

-  hermine it looks very delicious i believe in you

- im literally so sorry lottie i like u and ur cute but this is the most rancid british bullshit i have ever seen

- mashed potato in a fucking pasty im going to die with the SAGE an all and the gravy. i cna just FEEL it coagulating and clogging up in my mouth bc u KNO bitish mash is just. rancid. and all of that with fucking pastry encompassing it yuck . its like tht fucking pie bap from the wigan place where ur just fighting layers of stodge and shit .

- this truly is hole less. nobody who serves me this is getting any hole ever

- of course you’d think it would sound nice paul i swear to FUCK you’d eat fucking mud from the ground and  cry abt it being spicy u rancid little worm of a man

- nevermind i hate peter’s too

- literally FISH AND RICE it’d be so dry   . is this ONLY ME. IS IT ONLYme tht can imagine just biting into it and it jsut being......... flavourless and dry. am i insane. maybe i literally just have had bad experiences with haddock or whatever idk i dont remmeber wht tht shit taste like. rice is lush but idk abt it in a pasty like i really think u need sth else in there to help it or else its just so... idk man im just not sure if am a fan

- 4 MINUTE AD BREAKS. ARE YOU CLOWNS.... AM I AC CLOWNS. THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED, BAKE OFF.

- also fucking. there is something SO evil abt amazon releasing the corona flavoured adverts holllly shitttt<3

- cactulaly i like. get 0 exposure to adverts nowadays. i dont have a tv & i wouldnnt watch it if i did. and obvs mst of the time i have adblock on. so like.... so like.... i was PROTECTED but now i have 2 see all the rona based ads... oh  my GOD i hate it

- also what did i tell u peter. its DRY . ofc IT WOULD BE DRY. youve just got rice in a fucking pastry with FISH . IT’S BONE DRY. UGH

- LITERALLY WHY IS EVERYONE .... BC I SAW IT EVERYWHERE ELSE TOO. PPL ARE GOING ON ABT HOW PETER IS SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING WHEN LITERALLY. SINCE WEEK 1 WHEN HAS HE BEEN THAT GOOD? LIKE THEY ALWAYS HYPE HIM UP BUT THN DURING JUDGEMENT THEYRE LIKE “awh well its actually not tht good :(” BUT DONT MAKE A FUSS ABT IT

- (meanwhile not 2 call racism again but is aw a load of ppl blasting hermine and saying she was terrible... when literally shes been doin so well. she knocked it out the park again here. ofc she did<3)

  - OMG

- FOGGY

- also literally hwy are u all putting RICE in ur pasties like. tht might be a thing but surely you would need to compensate with a load of sauce and flavour like.............. another dude. the dude i keep forgetting . dave. is it dave. idk he is literally the one tht WILL NOT stick in my mind the most forgettable shaped man. sorry dave. angyways like i dont think itd be terrible but like i said doesnt i need... sauce   and a LOT of it

- HOLY SHIT THIS TECHNICAL IS A DISASTER

- IM EVERYONE JUST EATING HSIT

- GOD LINDA IM SO SORRY

- IM SO SO SORRY LINDA

- “NOT BAD EFFORT” HEY PRUE? THESE WERE THE FIRST ECLAIRS THAT WEREN’T

 -i i really hope hermine does well in showstopper she’s really on road to starbake

- CAGED TARTS. ME IN LOCKDOWN.

H.. HOW ARE OU PLANNIGN ION DOING THIS LOTTIE

literally i wish rowan was here JUST for this challenge  . he wouldnt be able to do it but, like, dave’s “louvre inspired tart” ......... we’re getting big rowan vibes from it all. he’d do something stupid and extra (or try to)

OMG

PASTRY SNAIL1 PASTRY SNAIL!

okay travis marcelroy (cant believe it took me this long to think of tht one) thats kinda funny

- UH HEY BAKE OFF ARE WE JUST GONNA KEEP SAYING THW WORD G*PSY? OKAY. I FUCKING GUESS

- “UPMARKERT TART” MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<3

- oh no

- TRAVIS MARCELROY YOU R BOTTLE

- hey

bDONT SHOW ME AD S LIEK THIS I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT SCARY

-  NMARC ITS SO PRETTY......

 - come on HERMINE PU;L IT HOME LETS GET YUO STARBAKER GIRL ITS WHAT YOU DESERVE

- THE

- IM

(starts to see red)

- linda im so so sorry. man. this sucks

- BUT LOTTIE POP OFF I GUESS

- they just RIPPED into travis marcelroy huh

- .

- L... LAURA?

- UOU GAVE S GTABRBAKER OTO ALRUAU?

- IM SEEING RED. IM ACTUALLUY SEEING FUCKING RED

- HERMINE...

LAURA CAME SO LOW DOWN IN THE FUKCING TECHNICAL

- HERMINE CAME SECOND AND SHE DID AMAZING IN THE SIGNATURE AND SHE DID SO WELL IN THE FUCKING SHOWSTOPPER HER BASE WAS JSUR A LITTLE THICK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ARE YOU ALL FOR FUCKING REAL WHAT EVEN WAS LAURA’S FUCKING SIGNATURE AGAIN ID ONT REMEMBER DO YOU KNOW WHY BCAUSE IT WAS FORGETTABLE, WORTHLESS, I SIMPLY DO NOT CARE IM LIVID WHO WHY WHAT AND WHEN THIS IS

- THIS IS JUST

- IM AT MY FUCKING WITS END

- YOU..........................................................

- HERMINE ROBBED. FUCKING R O B B E D. THIS IS FOUL THIS IS VILE IM LITERALLY ENRAGED IM SO MAD IM NOT FINISHINGT HIS EP I KNO LINDA EATS IT OF SHE DOES IM SO MAD IM SO MAD