#aimee do
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winner winner chicken dinnerrr
bonus doodle:
#its so unfair how wren is the only one who gets to drink during blackjack#the whiskey is RIGHT THERE wtf do u mean aimee isnt downing that shit#i tried experimenting with the rendering with a new brush ! its okk might use it again#i also based wrens design on dewey im happy with the hair kinda want to tweak his face thoo#want 2 give him tattoos too but i dont have any ideas huhu#wren the smuggler#aimee the heartbreaker#degrees of lewdity#my art
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aabria bringing up the ao3 dorym fanfics she's read to liam in her case of why they should fuck. aimee directly asking matt for clarification on the vibes dariax was putting out towards dorian.
voices of the people. women after my own heart. single handedly giving me enough dopamine to keep chipping away at the hours and hours I still have left to catch up on.
#'hes very much pulled by the winds'#'just like in that fanfic i read'#truly a level of unabashed loving the things you love that i wanna be#no one is doing it like them#also tysm aimee for prompting a dariax acespec confirmation#i love that for him just as much. i def love it for me#critical role#4 sided dive#4sde23#aabria iyengar#aimee carrero#dorym#dariax zaveon#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#matt mercer#liam o'brien
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religion is one of the most prominent recurring themes on the album, and it has been present in some capacity for quite a few records now. taylor previously compared love to religion: her saving grace, her belief system, and a fated divine intervention (false god, cornelia street, and cruel summer are the best examples of this). ‘sacred new beginnings that became my religion’ and ‘we’d still worship this love even if it’s a false god’ are two of the defining statements about her philosophy on the lover album.
taylor doesn’t want to leave all of that behind on ttpd, at least not at the beginning. the first supernatural force she mentions is the spaceship on down bad, which she compares to a skylight of freedom in the epilogue. *something* has finally come to save her from her life of suffering. she doesn’t care if it’s a force of good at first; if anything, she’s just fine being taken away by aliens. she views this man as her destiny. it isn’t until guilty as sin? that taylor starts to ponder the moral implications of what she’s doing. is she guilty as sin for wanting to leave her previous religion and relationship behind? she comes to the conclusion that, even if she rolls the stone away and gets resurrected/redeemed, she cannot avoid the fallout. she is okay with the thought of having to wait, as long as both lovers vow to be together forever, just as she once did with someone else in false god. ‘I choose you and me religiously’ finishes the bridge of the song in a direct callback to cornelia street.
the next mention of religion has murkier imagery. she claims that she does not need the Lord’s help to save this man. she sees the halo that he has, and she can fix him herself. now that she feels free of her prior cage, she isn’t looking for divine intervention anymore. she wants control. she is their route to salvation.
when the relationship falls apart, she retreats back into the position of a believer rather than a divine figure. she compares him to a Holy Ghost who promised to save her and take her to heaven. instead, she is in hell in every sense of the word: she’s down bad and feels guilty for digging up the grave. he was a jehovah’s witness who promised that she could break free of the cage imposed by love without changing her religion altogether; she would’ve just had to switch denominations. she could still have a marriage and kids! she could still have a blue tortured poet! the man was different, but not the dreams they had together. the story of the first part of the album ends here. her faith has been broken, and she has only found any semblance of sanity by refusing to mention these belief systems altogether.
side b/the anthology blends the christian imagery of side a with goddesses, sorcerers, and prophecies. she bargains with these powers to let her have the future she wants (the prophecy). she doesn’t sound like someone believing in salvation. if anything, she feels cursed. she decides that the concept of divinely ordained timing will never work in certain relationships (‘the goddess of timing once found us beguiling / she said she was trying / peter, was she lying?’). this disdain extends onto her perception of other people’s faith (‘bet they never spared a prayer for my soul’). she does position herself as a prophet in cassandra, but even then, she admits that the role has hurt her. perhaps the pain in thank you aimee was meant to be, or perhaps she was just strong enough to build a legacy in spite of it, boulder by boulder. is she a martyr? does she want to be? or did she save herself?
the only real love song on this half of the album makes no mention of fate or any divine forces. it wasn’t meant to be. it’s not a supernatural invisible string or lightning in a bottle. she is just in love.
the album ends with the manuscript, which revisits an old story of a defining, formative heartbreak. as she sings ‘at last, she knew what the agony had been for’ while describing the legacy of her writing, she seems to revert to thinking about the purpose of trauma. the only exception is that, in this case, she is the one who found meaning in her pain by turning it into a manuscript. writing is her belief system now, and she proselytizes by telling her stories and thus giving up the manuscript.
ultimately, her belief in destiny has chewed her up and spat her out. she so desperately clung to her existing belief systems that she was fooled by a conman, which left her feeling cursed. religion is supposed to be with someone even in their darkest moments, but the album explains that taylor often felt abandoned. the only constant in her life was, well, herself. she’ll be okay, but her pen will be her saving grace.
#idk why I wrote this essay but it needed to be said#this could be taken further by actually unpacking each mention of religion on midnights and lover but i ain’t doing all that#the manuscript#cassandra#Cornelia street#false god#cruel summer#lover#the prophecy#the smallest man who ever lived#but daddy I love him#I can fix him#guilty as sin#ttpd#thank you Aimee#peter
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I am making the tentative assumption that at least Peter might be new(er) to TTRPGs because he was asking which dice are which & later Robbie saying to him something to the effect of "welcome to roleplaying" - but it has me thinking that just in general I really love Critical Role bringing in talented people and introducing them to TTRPGs. New players are so much fun to watch, and bring so much to the table, both from their own flair, creative thinking from not being as familiar with the rules/constraints, and just a contagious sense of delight as they really get into it and try things. 10/10 keep bringing on excellent guests
#cr spoilers#op#assassin's creed shadows oneshot#Aimee and (iirc) Robbie were both pretty new when they joined and I loved watching them then and love where they have grown to#like fuck yeah let's do some collaborative improv storytelling with dice!!!#critical role
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Still emotional about Fy'ra Rai and Opal, actually. Thought dump time bc i. dont have the energy to cut this down effectively.
Because at that point in the episode, Opal is doomed. Not in the fun little "oh things are getting worse ;)" kind of way we'd been experiencing leading up to the fight, or even IN the fight. At that point in the fight, Cyrus is dead. Dorian and Dariax have their minds twisted, bodies clambering away from the fight. Morrighan has felt, firsthand, just how far gone Opal is, holes in her mind, her friend broken. The heartbreaking sentence of. "You can always come back." understands that she is gone already. She's lost already. Opal has forgotten Ted. Opal has forgotten herself.
So at that point in the fight, we know Opal is doomed. Us as the audience, the cast, the characters. Aabria is running through each of the other crownkeepers and it is more of a goodbye than a round of combat. Defying the Spider Queen invites death, with zero hesitation- Cyrus's body as physical evidence of that. The terms were very clearly set: You leave Opal, you let her be lost. Or you die. (Leaving Opal anyway).
and Fy'ra Rai then. Grasps the crown, understands intimately that she can break it off and it will kill Opal. (I will free you, if you want me to. We would lose you but you would not be taken). And asks, what do you want me to do. What do you want.
and Opal says, I want you to leave. (I want you to live.) and Fy'ra Rai functionally says. No. Sorry. That's not one of the options.
If you wanted to go. I will do that (your blood on my hands). If you want me to stay, I will. But I'm not going to leave you.
There was the point where Fy'ra Rai broke into the communication and I felt my insides sink because. Look. Lets be real, Aabria had already demonstrated the stakes here. The gesture would not be rewarded for the gesture alone. The Spider Queen's terms were: You leave Opal. Or you die.
And Fy'ra Rai said: no.
I don't think I'm overstepping to assume that if Fy'ra Rai had failed the intimidation check, she would have died. This entire thing hits me so hard because I think Anjali knew that too. I think Fy'ra Rai knew that too. Yes, Fy'ra Rai convinced a Betrayer God to negotiate. She carved a third option out of a non-negotiable situation. She knew what would happen if she failed and did it anyway, with no fear, no regret, no waver in her resolve. She had lost enough sisters. She wasn't going to lose anymore, no matter the personal cost. That's part of why it succeeded, I'm sure, but.
Just. Fuck me. The amount of resolve. The amount of love. The amount of conviction. "I am. A protector." You know your friend- your sister- is doomed. So no more negotiating away from that. You step to her side and you grasp her hand and say- doom me with her.
And in some, sideways way, this saves you both, at least for a little while.
Because this story is a tragedy. This ending is a sad one. We know this already. But think about- Opal, under Lolth's bidding, alone in the dark. Think about Fy'ra Rai, alive, intimately aware that she had failed to protect yet another sister.
And think about what we got, instead: the two of them, in deep darkness, danger encroaching- holding hands. Someone they love at their side. A champion. And her champion.
This is still a sad story. But it's not the same one. Fy'ra Rai stared down a Betrayer God and made her change her mind. She stared down a Betrayer God, and her love and conviction changed the nature of the story. It shouldn't have been able to. But she did.
Fy'ra Rai chose to doom 2 people instead of one, and the sheer strength of her love and will managed to save them both, at least for a little while. Isn't it funny how that works? Isn't it devastating? Isn't it. fucking incredible?
#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e93#opal#EVERYONE CLAP FOR AABRIA AND ANJALI AND AIMEE BC I GO MORE FERAL THE LONGER I THINK ABOUT IT#character meta#fy'ra rai#fy'ra rai meta#opal meta#spar speaks#i had to get this out bc i cant Stop Thinking About it.... god..... she really Did That...#its not just about refusing to leave its understanding the consequence and facing it so unflinchingly that the narrative flinches first#UAHHHGGHH.#anjali bhimani do you know how much i respect you for this move. aabria iyengar do you know how much i respect you for setting up the stake#so clearly that this success(?) Hit the way it did. Aimee carrero do you know how much i respect you for how truly and devastatingly#you played opal while keeping the core of her character so poignant.#what the fucmkc. anyway im fine .#anyway this is why a lot of my devastated wailing is going to be reserved for dariax. and dorian. and cyrus.#my meta#FORGOT. I HAD THAT TAG. gotta go back and retag
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DAY 19!! WHOOOOOO!!!
I am SO GLAD mistoffelees's day landed on a weekend day so that I could have extra time to devote to him lol. I had so many ideas for stuff I wanted to do but I decided to use the prompt as an excuse to draw a version of Mistoffelees that I haven't tackled yet...pierpaolo scida's misto from il sistina 2022!! MY BELOVED
naturally I had to redraw the part from the promos that had so many cats fan in a chokehold. I am one such.
enjoy!! <3
#cats the musical#cats musical#my shit#mistoffelees#mr mistoffelees#jellicle tag#jelliclejanuary#the rum tum tugger#jelliclecatsjanuary#rum tum tugger#tuggoffelees#if I could see my soul to satan for an il sistina boot I would do it#conversely if I could use transactable fiat currency I would do that too but...alas...no such opportunities arise#“but aimee you can tr---”#shhhhh#(whispers) I dont HAVE any BOOTS
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I love the world and everything in it and I want to know everything, be everything, and experience everything and to be honest this is a very distracting way to exist
#aimee shush#why yes this is about research for my intended graduate degree combined with my feral need to paint and write why do you ask
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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just straight up copying grandpa in her big girl chair, crazy
#simblr#starsignchallenge#rafael was NOT fucking with desiree i had to stop him from confronting bullying five times just so he'd set stuff up for me#he's so real.#she's the kind of parent that wants to live vicariously through her child and develops a lifelong grudge when they fight against it#unfort aimee decided she'd rather be Changing The World™ than doing ballet#and they're both very headstrong people which just made their relationship worse#meanwhile lee is just the world's best dad and grandpa both
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Absolutely nobody asked but patience design concepts i jotted down at 4am one night
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Their name is aimee and i copy and pasted their outfit directly from when i shitposted my ocs as the fallen children because the impulses won
#aimee#patience#i dont have plans for designing all the fallen children#but i like the idea of only posting them at late night hours when i do think of ideas#the they/them children yearn for the mountains#pedias art#late night chat#fallen kids#aimee hth#undertale heart to heart
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#even statues crumble if they're made to wait#the prophecy#the tortured poets department#the prophecy lyric#taylor swift#taylor swift lyrics#eras taylor swift#ttpd#taylornation#midnights#folklore#evermore#so long london#the alchemy#so high school#who's afraid of little old me?#i can do it with a broken heart#but daddy i love him#thank you aimee
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yeahhhqwaa
#i was painting my nails when i thouhht of this#I KNOWWWW syd is aware of this stuff but a dense sydney is so much funnier in my head#like he doesnt realize what hes doing until a second later its sooo its soooooooooo ykkkk#sydney the fallen#degrees of lewdity#aimee the heartbreaker#froodles
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A personal thank you to Aabria and Aimee for all but sitting on Liam and going "why are you hitting yourself?" until he gave up the Dorym goods.
#critical role#cr3#critical role spoilers#dorym#although I think Aimee was about to do that actually
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I know what most people are excited for in the new season of The Righteous Gemstones, but I am equally excited for another hit Aimee-Leigh Gemstone ear worm that I will listen to 80 times per year
#I mean... I am assuming because Jennifer co-writes and performs at least one song every season and her Aimee Leigh voice is *chef kiss*#it took a while for Toodles Till Tomorrow to grow on me bc I didn't remember it very well but now it fucks me up#each time it plays something gut wrenching is happening and the lyrics are make me emo and the bridge / orchestration is SO PRETTY#Joseph Stephens you are so good at what you do#the righteous gemstones
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Books I Want to Finish This Year: December 2024 Edition.
Thanks for the tag, @sixofravens-reads!
I'm still clawing my way through typing my NaNo manuscript (trying to finish today!), but!! that means that I haven't been able to do my post-project binge reading, yet, and I love my post-project binge reading--that's how I know I Am Taking A Writing Break.
The three on top are the last three standing from my "24 in 2024" list (Driscoll-related)(Driscoll is my MC in an ongoing revision project), so I'm gonna start with those, and then the two on bottom are bonus reads for If I Get To Them. I've been pining after TIME'S AGENT since the pub deal was announced (and sure we're calling that Driscoll-Adjacent, for interdimensional reasons). I also do really want to read WELCOME TO THE GODDAMN ICE CUBE in winter, and the dead week between Christmas and New Year seems like the perfect time for that.
Tagging @e-b-reads and @asexualbookbird (just so you can see, you don't have to play i guess *sad face*), and anyone else who wants to play! Please tag me back, I wanna see whatever one else is reading!
#books#books of 2024#booklr#book photos#tbr#the spider and her demons#sydney khoo#self-portrait with nothing#aimee pokwatka#unexpected places to fall from unexpected places to land#malcolm devlin#time's agent#brenda peynado#welcome to the goddamn ice cube#blair braverman#sixofravens-reads#e-b-reads#asexualbookbird#also steph i do indeed see your end of year book questions ask in my inbox and i appreciate it thank u#i will get to it. once this book is typed.#in btw#driscoll#hh#nano2024#might as well cover all the project tagging bases lol#oh heck i need to take a picture of the next one up huh#nyoops#okay now byeee i have to go type for five hours and hopefully emerge covered in ink and keyboard keys and with a Completed Manuscript after
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dan and phil ruin their careers - cards against humanity
#phanedit#danedit#philedit#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#danhowelledit#danielhowelledit#phillesteredit#phil lester#phan#scentofyesterday#(so happy to see you online again aimee)#mine#*#youtubers#just saying but for the first time since i ~bought it~ my photoshop fully crashed doing these gifs this is a cursed game#until they leave again i am physically unable to stop watching them
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