#ahobit rant

[a-hobit]

Hunter(man) abusing Boscha(woman) we love to see it. :)

Im really hoping you mean this as in “good to see people not shying away from showing men who can be violent toward women not for any misogynistic reasons but understanding the implications and acknowledging that any physical violence without prompt is wrong” and not what I think you mean by saying this like women should be abused.

I really tossed and turned on this set of pages because I knew that if I did it wrong people would get an idea that I wanted to see men hurting women or saw it as necessary in the context which I do not! Hunter is WRONG for this and his only defense is that he is having a PTSD episode where he can’t properly reason with himself. He was raised to be unflinching and reactive which he is performing right now without any of his current brains input. This is not a triumphant moment — no one is smiling and no one should be seeing this as anything but a horrible circumstance. Hunter wouldn’t want to seriously hurt anyone if he had a choice but when you see or hear or feel a way that forces you back into that feral animal corner you can’t help but start to bite — especially when you’re seeing someone live through a similar circumstance where they can’t act to protect themselves but now you can. You can protect that prior version of yourself if you can do something right then to force the situation to stop. You can help like you always thought you were before.

You can be useful.

[a-hobit]

Heyo!! Thanks for the tag I don’t really get to talk about my real life too often lol

1. In my state I’ve won multiple state awards for for artistic and vocal achievement and been in a lot of local galleries.

2. Ive got like twenty million hobbies including! Crocheting, fishing, book collecting, Smashed penny collecting, painting, storyboarding, animating, gaming, Lino block printing, art collecting, playing cards collecting, pinned bug collecting (ethical! Please don’t just buy from anyone!), piano playing, history of language, Native American/ Mexican history, art history, music history, pins/ buttons collecting, sticker collecting, polish pottery collecting…can’t think of any more at the moment but there are so damn many lol.

3. I love cars haha. Not like muscle cars or really the outsides at all — I love the inner bits and I’m endlessly fascinated by them. I’ve always loved learning about my own car to better take care of her. Taking a mechanic class as soon as I can because honestly I have a real interest in it!

4. I’ve always wanted to adopt teenagers. I have never wanted children of my own loins but I did have a girlfriend in foster care. They beat her senseless and constantly left her without basics. Her real parents were drug addicts and didn’t fight to get her back so she bounced around the foster system with no real home — even the good ones found themselves giving her up because she…agh she was a broken person. She wasn’t just not “ideal” she at that point I think couldn’t have ever settled. She was just too hurt. So I told myself that the second I was financially stable enough I’d adopt the kids like her — as many as I could parent.

5. In my room right now I’ve got two originals from world famous artists. They were both my teacher at different points so they just chill on my wall and I know they’re worth a lot hahah but for a scavenger they are priceless! One was a gift but I maybe got the second one out of the trash lol.

@pancakesandpessimism @minisheku @bananahkim @narwhalsarefalling @panic-and-procrastinate

pls i want to learn more about mutuals (feel free to ask me stuff or talk whenever!!) so i’m actually starting a tag…

five random facts about me!

I. recently i played Moritz in Spring Awakening

II. my favourite genres are classical japanese and russian literature

III. i love painting, particularly with oils (also i like making things in general)

IV. i speak japanese (not fluently, going into third year wish me luck)

V. i’m very passionate about translation and the way use of language influences/creates the interpretation of ideas aaah

tags (no pressure!): @irritable123 @lazyrunawayphilosopher @againtodreaming @ghostsinacoat @mavr4xx @sourbreqth and anyone who wants!!

[a-hobit]

I feel like every time I pull from my own life and my personal issues when writing it seems to upset a lot of people. I’ve been told a lot of times that I’m like the sad little slug stuck to the rest of my happy family. Like I’ve had such differing experiences that it’s so clear that im struggling heavily while everyone else can hide it better. My life was kind of fucked up for a few years — my family is fucked up in a lot of ways — IM fucked up most of the time. I’ve got so many experiences that are so unrelatable  and crazy that if I posted a comic inspired by them tons of people would tell me that that “wouldn’t happen” or I was dramatizing it or making it up. No matter how much my experience means to me and my writing it seems to always be taken in the wrong way. Like I’m wrong for experiencing or bringing those problems to an audience. People get to write stories where their dad dies or their mother fat shamed them into an eating disorder but I can’t write about how being abused by a father fundamentally breaks a protective part of you? How hurting people seems so right in all the wrong situations? How “protecting” means different things to people? How you hurt yourself by feeding into that inner protective system? How it hurts the bad people in your life? Even the good? Is it wrong to talk about the ugly stuff? Is it just too ugly?

[a-hobit]

Wow the reaction on Twitter for unwelcome (8/9/10) has been fucking weird. People telling me to have Hunter rip her arms off or break them and all these crazy ass dudes in my comments like I can not. I’m nb and was born female like so you really think I’m on your side??? I feel sick and like I maybe didn’t do enough to make the point clear.

[a-hobit]

I’ll be honest guys I might be the dumbest bitch out there to have a following at all because I’m inconsistent as fuck and never do anything on a normal person timeline/executive disfunction is my most major loser character trait/ but I’m glad that some of you I’ve known for around 3 years now are still around somewhat and that my brainrot of the moment seems to entice whoever sets eyes on this blog…or my Twitter actually. So here’s a thank you for the new people, the old people, and the super duper old people who’ve liked and supported me even when I drop a fandom like it’s hot every 4-6 months. I care about and appreciate y’all.

[a-hobit]

Using my tumblr account as a vent space once again!

So for reasons unspecified I’m an adult still living with my parents and grandmother. I’m almost 21 and I’ve lived in a shoebox apartment with my mom (and now stepdad and old lady) for as long as I can remember. I used to live in a house but really I don’t remember it. The fact we were pretty tight with cash didn’t really bother me growing up but as a full adult now with my own money it feels so unfairly good to spend it on the things I want. I try to spoil my mother whenever I can but she’s pretty hard to buy for. She gave up literally everything for me and my sister. She gave up everything she loved to take us away from my biological dad. I have always known that the life she has is not the one she wanted for me, my sister, or herself. She wanted a home she was proud to go back to and that her children could grow up in. She wanted to host family gatherings and have me and my sister invite guests over. She wanted to grow a seed in the backyard and watch It grow into a tree like she watched her children grow.

It really has always killed me to know that while I may not mind where we are it hurts her deeply that I do not remember that house. That I do not remember a complete family or a simple life. And that as much as she gave up for us it still wasn’t enough. I wonder how many people can say that they understand my mother — she always had friends with simple easy lives that she couldn’t seem to cry to and so she held in that grief of a broken family and that lost life by herself for as long as we’ve lived here.

Now like a gift from the greatest tragedy my mother has that opportunity to buy that home. Not the original one, not that one but a different home. Something she’s proud of. I see how stressed it makes her to have this thing she’s wanted. How she’s having such a hard time choosing.

I am definitely making this harder on her. I know that. I do have my own opinions about where I’d like to live and I’ve always kind of dreamed what that first house might look like when we got the money. Upstairs or downstairs? Dibs on which room? Where would you like your bed? Can you please mow the lawn today sweetie? Have you unpacked everything yet? Will you park the cars in the garage — I think there’s hail coming. Will you take the trash? Will you tend the garden? Will you take the dog out? Can you come home soon? How late will you be?

Do you want to see how big you’ve grown? I can mark it on the wall.

I know some of that already happened. Not the exact same but it happened. I guess maybe ive been idolizing that life in my head so much it’s strange that I now get to watch it play out…but it isn’t really how I wanted it either right?

I’m not a child anymore.

Im not going to live in this house for more than a year — maybe some months in between out of college? This is not going to be my home like it is theirs. Im not part of this like I dreamed about.

And isn’t it true? Why would it ever matter what I thought when I didn’t have to look at it for more than a year or two? Why come along to house showings? Why be nervous about my mom loving a house I hate so deeply because I can’t see myself there with her? Why voice that complaint?

Why say anything at all?

Why worry? If she loves it? If it’s her dream and it just doesn’t include you for long? You should just keep your mouth shut because of how much you’re hurting her how much you know it’s painful to hear you be excited about a house that isn’t even going to be yours — she knows she knows it.

Now you know it.

But GOD it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It’s so hard to know now. The reality is so painful you’d rather just stay here. And isn’t that awful? Aren’t you just awful to wish for your loving mother to stay here and rot with you because you can’t handle her being happy without you?

But it feels like rotting already.

[a-hobit]

I'm sorry to hear about the other people's reaction. It's kind of odd, like here everyone is like "yes" but also "this is... wrong". Sorry to hear all about that, it's probably really uncomfortable for you. For what's it's worth I believe everyone here wishes you the best and we see more of the gray area. Be well

I appreciate the support and I’m glad it came across properly on this platform…maybe because of the full disclaimer being part of the post? Twitter limiting how much you can say in a tweet definitely frustrated me so I had to keep it pretty short. I don’t know this is gross it’s so gross to see just how many people want to see real violence being made against women. He punched her once and made sure she wasn’t able to attack him back when she threatened him (and I’ll be clear that is the end to the physical violence in this comic). I didn’t think that would invite such a slew of sewer rat people who wanna see horrible things. Celebrating the violence rather than acknowledging the horror of it all wasn’t my plan.

[a-hobit]

Very happily jumpscared by Rebecca Sugar’s beautiful voice in Fionna and Cake! God I can’t stop singing or listening to it.

“Does somebody jump for joy?

Does somebody cry?

Now that I'm not part of that sadness?

Does somebody want me now?

Now that I can’t fly?

Now that I'm not part of the madness?

Part of the madness?

Part of the madness?”

Jesus Christ I did not need to be called out in my fun comfort show but okay???

Such a specific feeling I never thought I’d see — how almost boring your life becomes after you’ve “overcome” a mental illness? Like you’ve jumped the biggest hurdles and the easy part should be the after but the after is full of people who are happy for your success without ever knowing that you still need significant support to keep sane or else you’ll just slip into a different kind of terrible situation.

“You’ve got no more genuine issues to work over so why go see a therapist? You’re doing so much better — aren’t you happy about that?”

Strange as anything to see that well described in AT of all places my god.

(FYI this whole fucking post is kind of garbage and super badly worded — I’ve got a better explanation of this concept In my replies. I did not reread this writing it initially 🙃)

[a-hobit]

Let's just say that Horikoshi is feeling brave and goes with bkdk as the end game pair, either romanic, platonic or something in the middle. How do you think he would accomplish this and do you think people will see it as an ass pull or something that he's been building since the very beginning. P.S: I you think about it, there hasn't been that much 'that's pretty damn romantic for a shonen manga' between Ochako and Izuku as between Bakugo and Izuku.

This is a really hard question!!

So due to a lot of outside of manga factors I do believe there is some kind of "together" ending planned for bkdk. I don't know if we're talking romantic or not but I'd like to believe so! There's something fishy going on at jump at the least...so much extra content...so much promotion...it's just strange to me how they're being portrayed differently than they ever have before. It's interesting. I think if they are being set up for an ending romance It will be the type of ending to show a long epilogue -- something long enough to show how they are after the war as a duo and then later as a couple. It would be way too much to say they'd get together right after the war I think...maybe even a time skip although I feel like that's below Horikoshi as a writer. I think many people (especially Japanese since from what I understand the most popular ship for them is bkdk ) would either feel an understanding wash over them, feel something like relief that they were right, or feel like it was a "fugoshi ass pull". There's a lot of factors but if done right, and, I think Hori is more than capable of that, I think most people would be content. I have always thought that izuku and Ochako were very badly developed until I became a bkdk. It felt like he just...literally didn't want to or like to write them together which is SO strange since they were "endgame". I thought maybe they would be developed later but it just never happened on Izuku's side. He doesn't think of her often and does none of the emotional labor of having a crush with her. The one he thinks about is katsuki. The one he's closest to is Katsuki. The one who he's willing to do the emotional labor for is Katsuki. The one who he's thinking about starting an agency with is katsuki...feels pretty different to me haha.

[a-hobit]

What does it mean to be non binary (??? Still not totally sure…) but to never get gender euphoria since I want to be handsome like a girl but pretty like a guy and I just can’t ever manage to look anything like that. The heels and makeup is fun but i don’t look right. The jeans and flannel/t-shirt is good but I don’t feel right. I don’t get it.

[a-hobit]

I’m so devastated it’s so serious I will never be the same. I haven’t liked the ending much so far and the this is how it happens…what do I even do with myself now. I feel like I’ve died — now living in the worst timeline. I get too over emotionally involved with characters but fuck. This BLOWS.

[a-hobit]

[Puts on pillows with duct tape and bicycle helmet]

You got any bkdk headcanons?

Lolol OKAYYY

SO Izuku is a morning person that can’t wake up vs Kacchan being a night owl who won’t allow himself to waste the daytime.

Katsuki has a full skincare routine he shares with Deku because he says he has bad skin but really because he likes taking care of Izuku.

Izuku is…possessive. That’s not new but he’s always the more jealous one of both of them. He’s still a little touchy about their relationship breaking down again and has no trouble politely telling people to screw off when they make a slight at their relationship or Katsuki himself. Katsuki has no problem letting him and preens at the attention.

Izuku and Kacchan spend a lot of time sparring and then going to bed together just to hold and be held.

Whenever Izuku lands in the hospital Kacchan is always there on his right side with a book in one hand and thumbing over Izuku’s scars with the other.

Katsuki is a seriously attentive partner. He wants to be sure that Izuku is secure in their relationship so he’s usually the one who plans dates, dinners, or goes all out on birthdays.

Katsuki’s safe place is with Izuku. After the war he always finds himself more at ease around him. He’ll usually have a hand in his at all times and tends to smile more and more often around him.

Katsuki confesses first (not a hc i just seriously think that’s going to happen)

Izuku is highly oblivious and even after becoming boyfriends has trouble understanding some of the simpler forms of Katsuki’s love for him.

Katsuki might be a little obsessed with Izuku’s right hand. If he’s holding Izuku’s hand it’s going to be the right one. If only he knows that’s the hand he refused to take years ago he’s okay with that. Izuku finds this sweet and always thought his hand must be rough to look at — let alone hold — but Katsuki tells him that’s stupid while holding that same hand to his cheek.

They get those fucking All Might cards signed at the same time.

Katsuki is gay/Demi and Izuku is pansexual. They both don’t really like casual relationships. Katsuki hates wasting time and Izuku is too heartfelt to have something so impersonal.

Game night is taken deadly seriously at their apartment. They pin chores on the loser. (Usually Izuku haha)

Izuku rarely wakes up before Katsuki but when he does he just lays there watching him until they both get up.

They visit All Might together often to ask him advice. He finds them very sweet together and lets them know to their endless embarrassment.

They tease each other constantly.

They often stay in at home together rather than go on dates too often. They do most of their outings with their friends.

God they just love each other so much it’s disgusting.

[a-hobit]

Question. I'm new to the fandom and I kept hearing that bkdk and bkdk being canon really exploded around 2020. Can you explain to me why?

sigh.....oh 2020 how I (kind of) miss thee...

SO hello anon! I believe the reason you hear that bkdk got super crazy popular in 2020 was because that was the year that Katsuki shoved Izuku out of the way and got stabbed instead! I also started following the manga during this time I'd always shipped bkdk but kinda knew they weren't really going to ever be romantic -- I was worried that they wouldn't even be friends...UNTIL...out of nowhere...Katsuki is slapped all over my Tumblr timeline getting stabbed by AFO. Mostly people were talking about how they were worried he'd die (LOLLLL AS IF) but tons of people were talking about the lead up to his actions and how he only thought about Izuku and not really about being a "good hero" if you know what I mean. This moment was so impactful that MHA was SUPER popular for weeks especially after Touya Dabi) was confirmed to be a Todoroki. Everyone was bonkers and so was I. Hopefully that gives you a good idea!

[a-hobit]

Trying to maintain in person AND online relationships is my greatest Achilles heel cause like I need to go to this persons performance THAT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT but I also have like 4-5 mutuals who need me to respond I just feel like a bad friend no matter what I do — like I just barely have time for one group you know.

[a-hobit]

I LOVE THE WAY U DRAW EVELYN SM her lil tail is so 🥺🥺🥺

MAN the start was rough but i am super happy with her design now! I feel like she looks similar enough to Eda but not like a copy? The tone of her hair is perfect — the tail and peeking bottom teeth are so adorable with the blacker lips I just —! AGHHH 🥹 I’m so glad you love her too she is my baby!! I love that i took a lot of ques from her og vibe but got to make a full character out of what we know about her personality. All the inspo character wise is of course Eda, Willow, Raine, annnddd a little Luz for shenanigan vibes she is so dear to me…🫠

[a-hobit]

Agh it’s so hard some days when I can’t help but think of that years long friendship that blew up in my face and how often my life is still affected by her.

There’s so much of me molded to fit her sharp edges that just don’t fit anyone else right. Of course I was in love with her but how could I have known? I might have been jealous of her attention on others but who wasn’t? They all loved her — maybe not exactly like I did but they all wished they could fit with her like I did.

I never cared if I was her player two. I’d be Luigi for the rest of my life if I was lucky enough to spend it with her.

Then I said I was probably also attracted to women and it’s like a bomb went off.

No more late nights texting — no more talks on the phone — no more play dates or 7-11 runs where I had to borrow money from her I’d never get to pay back… no more anything. She wouldn’t even look at me and much less talk to me. It was like out of nowhere everything that made me special to her made me now strange… and her uncomfortable.

I never will know what she was thinking all those months she ignored me like the plague — I will never know and that might bother me the most.

When I saw her again I felt bitter and her pretty face — unbothered. It was like salt in a fresh wound. She smiled the same, laughed the same, her freckles were still dark from summer and spaced apart like I remembered they were.

She was no different but i had been changed. Like some old ugly thing that only withered in her gaze…but I also brightened for the first time. It was so conflicting loving her so much to need her eyes on me but feeling scraped raw by her familiar voice and pulled apart by the needs inside me.

I guess I must have needed her to be as split apart as I was — like proof I meant just as much to her.

So I said something mean. Something I knew back then would scar but now I didn’t know anymore. Would she even care? She certainly didn’t act like it — all smiles for the rest of the day.

Did she ever really care about me then? Was I just obsessed? Abnormal?

I never got my answer.

And I didn’t see again her for many many years.