#ahin came on and i was like OH THERE U ARE

[freezeher]

i’ll def have to do some spring cleaning around here (cleaning out inactives, drafts, my inbox, etc) but i think i’ve caught the ethel muse again….

[yoon-kooks]

With Love and No Regrets💋 2

Pairing: ??? x Reader, Taehyung x Reader (this chapter)

Genre: Angst, Handwritten!AU, inspired by TATBILB

Summary: Seven stories, seven regrets, seven letters… to all the boys you may or may not still think about…

Word Count: 2.8k

Parts: Prologue // 1 // 1.5 // 2 // 2.5 // 3 // 

Warnings: none

A/N: hands up if you remember your first crush ever 😔✊

Fifth grade might’ve been your prime. You were a whopping ten years old, all the kindergarteners looked up to you as their senior, multiple boys in your class had their eye on you, and you developed your first crush. His name was Kim Taehyung.

Unlike Jungkook who you had met in kindergarten, the existence of Kim Taehyung was unknown to you until fifth grade came around. And boy did he hit you like a truck.

Taehyung was cute. Perhaps one of the cutest boys in your class, up there with Kim Namjoon and Jung Hoseok. And sure, you would’ve loved for fate aka your teacher to seat you right next to him for the entire school year. But the truth is, fate wasn’t always so kind. Because Taehyung always somehow ended up on the opposite side of the room from you.

But why leave everything up to fate? You weren’t that passive when it came to love—at least not at age ten. So you found another way to connect with the boy.

One stormy October morning, you discovered a common interest between Taehyung and yourself. Rainy days were always your favorite because your class was blessed with some free time in the school’s computer lab during recess. After all, you were the type that opted to stay behind a screen instead of facing things head on.

“Ahin, how are you level 77 already?” you asked your best friend as you glanced back and forth between her level 77 mage and your level 32 bandit on the computer screen. Her character had a lot more swag with the sunglasses and shit compared to your basic ass character with the default clothes.

“That’s because my screen time isn’t limited to one hour a day like you,” Ahin shrugged. “At this rate, you’ll be a noob forever, Y/N. Taehyung’s gonna over-level you soon.”

“Taehyung plays StapleMory, too?” You were intrigued because StapleMory was already your favorite MMORPG, but with the addition of a cute boy thrown into the mix, you’d have to beg your mother for an extra hour of play time.

“Yeah, he started playing a few weeks ago and he’s only a few levels behind you.”

“What’s his username? I wanna add him to my friend list.”

“Why? Are you in love with him or something?”

“What? No, of course not.” You didn’t have a crush on him just yet. You didn’t even know what a crush felt like.

“Well I don’t know his username either,” Ahin said. “I just heard him talking about it with Hoseok. Try asking them instead.”

You’d only made the smallest of small talk with Taehyung in the first month back from summer break, so you didn’t know him well enough to casually start a conversation with him at recess without it feeling a little forced. On the other hand, you did have an already established acquaintance with Hoseok thanks to summer school a few years back.

You peered down at the pair of boys several computers down from where you sat, locked onto your target, and rolled your chair over in that direction. When you caught a glimpse of familiar character sprites on their screens, you knew what to do.

“You play StapleMory, too, Hoseok?” The character on his screen was a heavily armored warrior holding a long blue spear.

“Y-you play too, Y/N?” He looked shocked. Shocked but not upset. Though maybe if you both had put two and two together sooner, you could’ve advanced your acquaintanceship with him beyond summer school.

“Yeah, and Ahin plays too.”

“I play too,” Taehyung jumped in. Contrary to his natural handsomeness, his character was on the ugly side equipped with a bow and arrows. “Well I just started, so I’m only level 30.”

“Oh, so you’re still just a noob,” you laughed as if being two levels higher than him was anything to boast about.

“Well what level are you then?”

“Higher than you.” You really should not have had that smug look on your face, but you did.

Taehyung narrowed his eyes at you. It was a challenge. “What’s your username? I’ll add you.”

“YoungHinata.”

“Is that some kind of Naruto reference or something?”

“Yeah, duh.” You didn’t know. It wasn’t your username.

After typing the username in, Taehyung’s jaw dropped. “Level 77? That’s… impressive. You already have your third job advancement?”

You wanted to psych him out a little, not impress him. Clearly that didn’t work out, so you abort. “Nah, I’m just kidding. That’s Ahin’s character.”

“Haha very funny. I guess I’ll add her then, not you.” Taehyung sent Ahin a virtual friend request right in front of your eyes. “Unless you wanna tell me your username.”

Were you feeling threatened? No. But did you want Taehyung to be your friend? Yes.

“It’s… TacoCat98.” You admit you were self-conscious about the name, and you would’ve picked something a little wittier like TacoBelle if you’d known you’d be playing with a cute boy. But nobody could’ve predicted that.

“Seriously?” Taehyung laughed at your username as he typed it in. He had no right to clown you when his own username was something as simple Vante, and you totally did not get the reference if there was one. And he only stopped laughing once he saw your character. “You called me a noob when you’re only like two levels above me? Noob.”

“It doesn’t matter! I’m still higher than you, so ha!” You got the last laugh, but not the last say.

“Not for long, Y/N… Not for long.” The confidence in Taehyung’s voice was admirable with a hint of flirtiness, but you wouldn’t let him get the best of you. Or so you thought.

-

It had quickly become a regular thing for you to hop online after school with either Ahin, Hoseok and Taehyung, or just Taehyung. Your mother was pleasantly surprised to see you zipping through your homework with newfound motivation, and she even granted you an extra hour of screen time to reward your excelling academics. Little did she know that your motivation had everything to do with a boy.

With that valuable extra hour of play time, you did everything in your power to stay ahead of Taehyung. You grinded, took on quests, asked Ahin for advice on the best equips and places to train, and you did so without a minute to waste. The only time you took a break from leveling up your character was when a certain notification popped up on your screen.

[Vante has logged in!]

[Vante sent you a message!]

Vante: hi Y/N >:)

TacoCat98: why r u sending me a mean face? :P

Vante: freedom of speech?

TacoCat98: ok?

Vante: come train with me :(

TacoCat98: where r u now?

Vante: where the fire boars are

TacoCat98: kk

You might’ve been in the middle of a jump quest that you’d have to restart later, but you were willing to forfeit some good EXP in exchange for time with Taehyung. The two of you were close enough in level where it’d be mutually beneficial to train together on the same map anyway. So you hustled over to the fire boars.

As soon as you walked through the portal to where Taehyung said he was, you witnessed a hoard of flaming pigs chasing an ugly green-haired archer. Rather than extending a hand to help the boy out of danger, you take pleasure in watching him struggle to find safety on a nearby platform.

“why didnt u help me????” A speech bubble appeared over Taehyung’s character. “i almost died!!”

“i didnt wanna kiss you,” you typed, with a very embarrassing typo. “i meant KS you… not kiss you lol”

“r u sure that was a typo?” Taehyung changed his character’s facial expression to a hmm face.

“KISS wouldnt have made sense in that context!!” K.S. was the abbreviation of kill steal, which was when someone (often a noob like Taehyung) is trying to kill a monster but then a higher level player passes by and instantly kills the monster as a form of mockery. Kiss, on the other hand, meant something very different.

“right…”

“RIGHT.” You made your character flail around in the air like a kid having a tantrum before jumping down to release all your awkward energy out on the fire boars. “can we just train now??”

You sent Taehyung a request to join your party, and he accepted it, but he remained right where he was instead of joining you on the battle grounds.

“or we could just talk,” he typed. That not only surprised you, but also meant something to you. It meant he’d rather spend time chatting with you over leveling up his character. You were more important to him than the game itself.

You jumped back up to the safe platform and faced Taehyung’s character. “we could.”

You didn't know if he was just luring you away from training so he could sneak past you in levels as soon as you logged off, but maybe it didn’t matter. You only had two hours a day to do whatever you wanted on the computer, and Taehyung was what made your time feel well-spent.

And if he ended up surpassing you in levels as a result of that, you’d lose bragging rights and that hold over him, but something in you wanted to believe he wouldn’t leave your noob ass behind.

-

For a solid year, you never grew bored of Taehyung and his antics. Even in the classroom, it became apparent that you two were no strangers. You teased him about his new haircuts, he teased you by shouting “TacoCat98” across the school yard, and you both exchanged ugly faces as you passed by each others’ desks. All of that was innocent and cute, though the more intimate stuff remained online.

You can’t remember the exact moment you first acknowledged your feelings for Taehyung because it was your very first crush and you had no way of recognizing the signs. For a while, you assumed your first crush would be Namjoon because he had all the stunning physical qualities you thought you wanted in a boyfriend. But with Taehyung, it was something else that you couldn’t quite comprehend. All you knew was that he made your day a little brighter. And you found yourself thinking about him. A lot.

But nothing could’ve made you realize your crush more than when he asked you about it right after graduation.

Vante: hey

TacoCat98: hey

Vante: do you like anyone?

It was your chance—the golden opportunity. You wanted to scream “YES, IT’S YOU” through your computer. But on the off chance that he didn’t feel the same way, you wanted to save yourself from a potential rejection. You told yourself you’d only confess to him if you felt 100% confident that he felt the same way. Despite having a gut feeling that that might’ve been the case, you needed more answers.

TacoCat98: lol why r u asking?

Vante: bc u know how my group of guys had a talk after the grad ceremony?

TacoCat98: umm no? and yall arent “guys” yet btw. youre still boys lolol

Vante: whatever -_-

Vante: anyway

Vante: the BOYS had a talk about who we liked in our class

Vante: so i know who likes u

Someone liked you? That was definitely news to you. No one (to your knowledge) ever had a crush on you in your ten years of life. Naturally, you were curious as a kitten as to who it was, and if it was in fact Taehyung himself. Or maybe he was just bluffing. If that were the case, you were going to bluff back.

TacoCat98: well i know who likes u too :P

Vante: who?

For some reason, your dumbass didn’t anticipate him asking you to spill the tea. Especially not when you were alluding to your own crush on him.

TacoCat98: u tell me first and then ill tell u

Because how romantic would that be if the feeling was mutual and realized on the online platform where it had all begun to bloom?

Vante: hoseok

TacoCat98: wat

Vante: hoseok said he likes u

Vante: ok next

You needed a long minute to comprehend what had happened. Hoseok liked you? Hoseok? Hoseok didn’t even know you the way Taehyung did. You rarely even spoke to him outside of when he’d play StapleMory with you and Taehyung. So how was it possible for Jung Hoseok to develop a crush on you out of nothing? Spoiler alert: It wasn’t possible. But you didn’t know that at the time.

Vante: so… who likes me?

An idiot liked Taehyung. And that idiot was you. But after he didn’t confess to you like you had hoped, there was no way you’d confess either.

TacoCat98: actually i promised to keep that a secret

Vante: but u said u would tell me >:(

TacoCat98: well im srry!!

TacoCat98: it’s not like you were sharing your OWN crush, so why r u so mad lol

TacoCat98: hoseok probably wanted to keep that a secret but u told me anyway

Vante: true

Vante: dont tell him i told u >.<

TacoCat98: ok i wont

Vante: good

Vante: now back to the original question… tell me who u like

TacoCat98: i dont like anyone lol

Vante: seriously…

TacoCat98: really i dont lol

Vante: everyone has a crush

TacoCat98: and your crush is…?

Vante: ahin

He typed it without hesitation, not a sliver of doubt. He confidently told you about his crush on your best friend as if that information wasn’t going to get back to her. Maybe he intended for you to tell Ahin so he wouldn’t have to confess himself. Or maybe he just wanted to make you jealous. The latter was what he accomplished.

As a friend, you loved Ahin and envied her for how easily she got along with the boys in your class. Just as her StapleMory character outshined yours, she had the same effect at school. It honestly didn’t surprise you that Taehyung chose her over you. You had just hoped and envisioned that this time it was you.

TacoCat98: AHIN!!! can i tell u something?

YoungHinata: sure lol

TacoCat98: i like tae

YoungHinata: omg

YoungHinata: really????

YoungHinata: u should tell him!!

YoungHinata: he always acts like he likes u too

TacoCat98: i dont think he likes me like that

YoungHinata: y tho???

TacoCat98: i just have a feeling :(

YoungHinata: well youll never know for sure unless u confess to him

TacoCat98: nah im fine with him never knowing

TacoCat98: i just wanted to get it off my chest so i told u instead of him lol

-

After elementary school ended and middle school started, you were more thankful than ever that you and Taehyung had established an online friendship. You wouldn’t have otherwise known he attended the same middle school because you had zero classes with him in sixth grade and literally never saw him on campus. You owed a lot to the online platform for all the opportunities it provided you with in chatting with your crush. At the same time, a relationship built upon online engagements had its limits.

[Vante has logged in!]

TacoCat98: hihihi

Vante: i havent seen your face around these parts in a while

TacoCat98: blame my teachers >:(

TacoCat98: more hw = less staplemory

Vante: same

Vante: dont u think it’s weird tho

TacoCat98: whats weird?

Vante: how we talk on here but not irl

TacoCat98: i guess we never see each other at school anymore

There were a million better ways to respond to Taehyung’s comment, but that’s how you chose to respond. You had every opportunity to say, “hey let’s meet up at lunch tomorrow” or “wanna get milk tea after school?” But you were too dense to realize what he wanted out of that conversation. You took it more as a subtle breakup like “we can’t be friends anymore because things are awkward now irl.” After all, you were on the wrong side of an unrequited love, and it was almost inevitable that he’d develop other crushes on his new classmates who outclassed you.

It was only after you both quit StapleMory later that year and left your friendship to die in cyberspace that you heard a rumor floating around regarding you and Taehyung. One of your new middle school friends said Taehyung had asked her if it was true that you had a crush on him.

How did Taehyung know about that? And why did he even care? He was supposed to like Ahin. He told you himself that he liked Ahin. If you were his crush, he would’ve told you. He should’ve told you. Because you were fully convinced he no longer cared about his little gamer friend when there were plenty of prettier kids to pursue. And whether or not it was the truth, you took it to heart, despite all the other signs that had said otherwise.

So, no. The rumor wasn't true. You didn’t have a crush on him. Not anymore.