#ahhh so i started writing this last night because i'd been up for a long while

[selfindulgentpixies]

Satoru Gojo x GN!reader

Reader is shorter than Gojo. Mentions of reader being an artist and doing fiber crafts. Two mentions of reader wearing glasses

The world is a bit muffled around the edges for you as you frustratingly try to complete the same task you’d been trying to complete for the last… the last… you weren’t sure anymore. Without meaning to a little frustrated growl slips through your teeth and your exhaustion bruised eyes narrow. Just as you’re about to toss the offending lump of yarn, a pair of large hands envelope your own from behind, making you gently place your work down.

You nearly jump out of your skin and if not for the height difference between you and your partner you probably would have cracked your head and his jaw with the force of it. You get out a yelp before he speaks.

“When was the last time you slept? You were up when i went to bed and still up before i got up to leave this morning and i’m pretty sure you were working on this then too.” You can picture the displeased tilt of his mouth before you even tip your head back to look at him. He tuts upon seeing your face. There are deep bruises under your eyes and your eyes are reddened from strain.

Blindfold around his neck and still in his uniform Satoru stares down at you. One of his hands leaves yours to gently brush his thumb under your glasses and below your eye. “I’m fine, Satoru, you know i cant sleep sometimes..”

“You look half dead and you nearly threw your project, and i have personally experienced how precious you are about your work,” he says with both exasperation and fondness.

His mind goes back to your time in school before the two of you were together. You were just a shy and gloomy first year with an interestingly technique to him at that point. So he was more than a little curious when he saw you curled up drawing. He’d plucked your sketch pad from your hands but didn't get very far before you bit his wrist of all things and yanked your sketchbook back. It may not have been his first impression of you but it was a lasting one.

He’s broken from the memory by you huffing. “I’m fine really,” there’s an edge of irritation to your voice that you’ve rarely held with him since becoming adults. Under the irritation he can hear how exhausted you are, you voice pitched low. You haven’t pulled away from him at least. Satoru takes that to mean you haven’t entirely hit your tired tantrum threshold and really he’d rather you don’t hit that point.

You’re looking away from him when he next speaks, your neck no longer tilted back uncomfortably to look back up at.

“That settles that then.”

“Settles wha-, Satoru put me down!”

“I’ll put you down once we’re in the bedroom. You need rest. When you stay up this long you start getting cranky and worse you get mean to yourself.” He wasn't wrong but you still flail in protest.

You’re exhausted though and even the small effort to insist you’re fine makes exhaustion weigh heavy on your bones. “…are you going to stay with me at least?” You question with a pout, one he’s sure you’re not even aware you’re making.

He places you on your shared bed, his eyes are bright and a hint of his usual smile tugs at his lips now that he knows you’re actually going to lay down. “Pretty sure you don’t want to cuddle me until i’ve showered, sweetheart.” He boops you on the nose before moving toward the bathroom. “Get comfortable and i’ll be back out before you know it and i won’t even smell like a dead curse anymore.”

He’s pretty sure you’re aware of the pout you’re giving him now and he laughs before closing the bathroom door behind him.

When he gets out of the bathroom snow white strands of hair are dripping into his face and clean sweat pants sit low on his hips. You're not sure when he grabbed them but to be fair your attention wasn't the sharpest right now. You sit up from your curled position in the middle of the bed and make grabby hands at him.

He blows a wet strand of hair away from his face in vain. “Gotta dry my hair first, Sweetheart.”

“Bring me the dryer?”

The look he gives you is both warm and amused as he turns to go retrieve the hair dryer. You were pretty sure he wanted to say something teasing but he refrained.

You’re already sitting at the edge of the bed when he returns dryer in hand. Plugging in the dryer he sits down, his warm back pressing against your legs. Nothing is said as you begin to dry his hair. His eyes slip shut as you work, your fingers combing through the soft drying strands.

The dryer clicking off and the ensuing silence prompt him to get up. your fingers trail over his back as he stands causing little goosebumps to rise in the wake of your touch. You set the dryer on the night stand just as he turns and crawls into bed, he slips your glasses off your face and gently sets them by the hair dryer before pulling you into his arms, shuffling you both to the middle of the bed to lay down.

“You really should get more rest you know. How long have you been awake?”

A moment of hesitation, you know he won’t like the answer “… i think thirty eight hours give or take…?” Dipping your head under his chin. You feel more than hear him sigh.

“___, i swear i’m going to have to start sedating you. Your sleep medication certainly isn’t doing the job.” You feel a kiss pressed to the top of your head.

“ ‘m fine really,” the words slur a little as you yawn into his neck.

He squeezes you a little. “uhuh sure you are” He can tell you’re fading fast and there's not much conversation to be had. Especially with the way he's rubbing your back in soothing circles, coaxing you toward sleep.

Before you're fully gone though your lips press against his neck "Love you, 'toru."

He smiles and kisses the top of your head. "Love you more." if you'd still been awake he knows you would have protested.

@nanamikentoseyebags

[minkkumaz]

GOODMORNING (afternoon) OMI!!

ur heart getting shattered 😰??! whenever life goes downhill theres always white haired yungyu! studying for chem while watching bonedo performances atm..

i just need to RANT abt how good woonhak is at performing. he was literally born for it. even when the camera isnt focused on him he gives the best facial expressions; so his fancams r always fun to watch.. HE HAS SUCH AMAZING STAGE PRESENCE TOO.. genius maknae indeed..i love love love him so much hes such a great performer i only wish him the best.. ALONGSIDE THE OTHER MEMBERS TOO OFC BUT THATS JUST A GIVEN!!!

i watched inkigayo last night,, i had no idea what they were saying but woonhak started singing and i almost BAWLED. his voice is so nice 🙁🙁

as im typing this out im rewatching their mnet but sometimes performance and im getting more sidetracked but thats OKAY!

woonmelon needs to be confirmed and released to the public atp..

ANYWAYS!!!

hows your day going so far,, (besides the heartbreaking part..)

-🍉

GOODMORNINGAFTERNOON MELON!

unfortunately my heart was a little cracked a bit earlier but i got a pep talk from my friend and now i'm chilling like a villian >:3 just have to imagine white hair yungyu, he's literally so perfect and amazing omg

yungyu rant real quick : honestly when he first dyed his hair blue and cut it super short i was a little iffy about it because it was definitely new! but honestly it ended up growing on me a lot and i absolutely loved it. i mean in general, i think yungyu looks great in everything ehe. THEN WHEN IT STARTED GROWING OUT A LITTLE BIT I ALMOST EXPLODED like it was at that perfect length where it wasn't too short and it wasn't too long. i was thinking about hair colors i'd like to see him in and i was REALLLY fucking with the idea of blonde or red haired yungyu. and low and behold.. i wake up to see little clips of them busking in seoul and his hair was coming out of his hat a little. IT WAS WHITE. my soul genuinely left my body AND ALL THE PHOTOS HE SENT IN PLUS CHAT I CANNOTTT he's genuinely such a handsome boy and i love him so much, but it also makes me a little sad that he's growing </3 i remember how much of a cutie he was during 8turnrise era ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAD THEIR DEBUT SHOWCASE AND THEY WORE THE LITTLE CAT EARS he was just so small and precious, and now he has me fanning myself with an imaginary fan because he has seriously progressed so much. vocal wise and looks wise. when i saw him at kcon he was seriously unreal and i almost started crying AHHH in my brain he's still my little bom boy :,3 when he talks about debut / trainee days i get so emotional. because that era of 8turn is also when i started getting into kpop so it's for reals such a core memory. i remember when i only stanned stray kids and 8turn, i had photos of them all over my room HAHA not that i don't anymore, yungyu has a mini shrine on my desk with one of my fav pc's framed and the crochet thing i made of him ehe. anyways enough of my yungyu rant...

I WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE THAT WOONHAK IS JUST THE GREATEST PERFORMER EVER! such an adorable maknae, he is always bringing the energy and i love him so much for that ehe :,] all the bonedo boys in general just have such amazing stage presence, they were meant to be idols!

woonmelon is my number one ship you guys belong together for reals!

so far, my day is going okay? i'm trying to cram some writing in because i have a huge idea and i want to release it ON halloween, but i'm always so busy so i want to finish it up. it involves 8turn! (and a game i've been hyperfixating about for the past month......) NO MORE HINTS! but yes ehe it'll take me awhile since there's a lot of details that go into it... i'm not going to spoil anything bc i don't wanna get up your hopes and i end up not finishing AJAJSJHD BUT IF I DO FINISH IT WILL MAKE SENSE WHY IT'S SUCH A COMPLICATED THING TO WRITE ABOUT

cough i kinda threw every other thing i had planned under the bus because i really wanna do this..

WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAY MELON ANONNN?!

[dzpenumbra]

7/11/23

Last night was horrible. I got 3 hours of sleep. I just fucking gave up and got up. I was so upset that I started writing a post for a mental health subreddit looking for some kind of advice on how to deal with this upstairs neighbor situation without being "the neighbor banging on the ceiling with a broom".

I didn't post it. I wrote like 10 paragraphs which, to anyone who has ever read this blog, knows that's pretty short for me... I deduced pretty clearly that if these people are waking me up through my box fan, my noise cancelling earbuds and white noise in the earbuds? There really aren't a lot of other options as far as sound reduction goes. That's just... where I'm at. So... the choices I have are...

Avoid the problem: relocate my sleeping spot - this is nearly impossible. My mom insisted I throw out my old mattress (which likely wouldn't fit in the rental car for the move) and she ordered me a Helix mattress which I lugged upstairs in its box. Okay, I mean... technically it would be possible for me to relocate the mattress, I'm not going to lie there... but it would be quite an undertaking and I would have to have my next steps well prepared. Then... what the fuck do I do with the loft space? ... Well... I could move my art studio up there... and I could just sleep in the main room. Use the main room as sorta... a studio apartment... and use the loft as my art workspace. The issue with this? My art space would be way the fuck away from my computer, so streaming art is out of the picture. Then I thought... well, what if I move my computer? My standing desk is way too heavy to bring upstairs. Like.. getting the mattress downstairs would be worlds easier than bringing the desk upstairs, and it would not be easy. Another option would be... basically abandoning the upstairs and just living downstairs. It just all feels a bit extreme.

Adapt: fix my sleep schedule - I don't really think I have a choice but to do this, honestly. Completely rearranging my entire house just because some people don't know how to like... take their shoes off... or walk softly before noon? It feels a bit extreme. But honestly... I feel so fucking stuck with this sleep thing.

So... let's talk about it. When I first moved here, I used to go out and smoke weed at like 4AM, then go right to bed. It would be dark out. I was a bit freaked out at first, but... I did it fine. I was watching those PTSD videos back then, ones on doing visualization of a safe place right before bed, and doing relaxation exercises. And it really did help. It's really the primary reason I made it through that transition as easily as I did.

So... what changed? Why am I scared to go to bed before dawn? Could it really be as simple as... Max died? And now I'm alone in the dark without a nocturnal partner to share the space with me? Could this just be a grief thing?

I guess we'll see. Honestly, I don't even know if it's going to be difficult. I don't even know if going to bed while it's still dark will be scary for me, honestly. It's been so long since I've even tried. There's just an invisible wall there. So... tonight will be a litmus test, we'll see what that wall really looks like.

I'm running on 4 hours of sleep. I stayed up until the maintenance guy came over, he was super friendly, the same dude that fixed my door (when the deadbolt wasn't latching) and did that inspection a few months ago. He was in and out really quick, just took a look at it, said he'd order the new part and try to get over here tomorrow to fix it. Fingers crossed. I'm going to make sure we test run it so he can see if it's wobbling and make sure he keeps that fucker tight as a drum so we don't have this problem again. I'd do it myself but I don't have a 15' ladder on hand and... to be frank... it's not my fucking job. :) Ahhh it's so relieving to finally be able to say that. HOLY SHIT. <heavy sigh of relief> Dude, when you are in isolation, living completely alone for extended periods of time... you start noticing pretty quick that if you want something done... you need to do it yourself. Not because you're the best person for the job, or because someone else might fuck it up, or you're the one who will do it well or you will do it the quickest... rather, if you don't do it... it doesn't get done. And that was fucking super eye-opening in the way I interacted with others... others who were omega-codependent. The ones who would constantly shame and guilt me for asking for help with super simple stuff. They all had people around to give them a helping hand, but they were too proud to ask for it. Pride. The most dangerous of sins, because it is the root of so many other ones, and it can also be connected to virtue in the right light... so it can often fly by undetected. But this... this manifestation is not a nice one. It's people who dedicate huge amounts of energy to hiding their problems, even from themselves, rather than admit that they need help. Those are the ones who I guaranteed would not get a finger lifted from, because - in their logic - "no one helps me..." Well... is it a coincidence that they never ask?

After years and years of being on this proverbial island, doing everything possible myself because I lack the income to hire others and I struggle with a big trauma/anxiety wall trying to make new friends, I'm finally in a position where I have assistance (reliable assistance) available to me. It feels very... secure. I feel cared about. Even though I'm just one of many many many people in this building, I still feel like... if something goes wrong, they will have my back. And that is a very new feeling outside of therapy, where it is contractually obligated. And here, I mean... it's contractually obligated too... but they're still nice people.

So yeah, the dude looked at the fan, he's going to come by either tomorrow or the day after. I did yoga, I ate, I drank a pot of coffee. Then I took an hour nap. I passed right out. And I woke up with this fucked up taste in my mouth. I still don't know what exactly caused it, but I had some really old Neon Sharpies I was drawing with on the string lights I was customizing today and that chemical smell matched the taste pretty close. Maybe I had some on my fingers and they made their way into my mouth in my sleep? I don't know. But yeah, I spend the rest of the evening doing designs on those lights, which is coming out pretty damn cool. And preparing the beads, which came out pretty damn cool. The green ones are definitely pale, but they came out more of a subdued lemon lime yellow-green, which is totally cool by me. They look great, I'm happy with them. I went back and forth on whether I wanted to put symbols on them individually, or decorate them further... but I still wasn't sure about medium, or what symbols... yeah... so I decided to hold off on that and just run this batch and do something more ornate on another batch. I just wanna keep things moving and let my inspiration inspire new pieces rather than alter current ones. I think it's a good plan.

So... I got the first layer of tung oil on the plain beads, the green ones, the blue ones, and two beads painted with Posca opaque paint pens that I was going to do test runs with acrylic sealer on. I want to see how they do with the oil. I'm very curious to see how that turns out. They should be fine, I'm just... I'd prefer to do a test run. And if that works well, that's a big win because that ink does not soak into the wood, so I can do very detailed ornamentation with those. Just using ink, even just archival ink like Micron pens, will soak into the wood and you risk what we used to call in tattooing "blowouts", where the ink just... blows out... it spreads and bleeds unintentionally. These paint pens won't do that, which is super nice.

So yeah, they're soaking up their first coat. I skipped the display table today because I didn't want to sand it. I can coat it any time, it's not a big deal. And I skipped exercise today because I'm running on two days worth of fumes. I didn't want to push myself too far. Next day is the last one on the workout plan, so that's a milestone. I'll search for a new workout and revisit the meal planner tomorrow.

But yeah, now it's 2:30 AM and I'm lined up to go start getting ready for bed. Fingers crossed things go well. This is gonna be like... sleeping somewhere new for the first time, with how long it's been. But I really need to remember... it's not new... it's a return to how things were. And the big sell? If I get to sleep now? There's a smaller time window where those people upstairs will be able to wake me up.

We'll see how things go.

[ayatosmoles]

you can stay here forever

pairing: akaashi keiji x reader

contains: exes to lovers, assumed unrequited feelings, awkwardness, mentions of alcohol and getting tipsy, happy ending!!, not proofread

word count: 2.4k

a/n: ahhh!! this is one of, if not the longest, fics i've ever written!! i'm sure it's not the best but i've had this idea in my head for the longest time and i finally got around to writing it! i'd love to write longer things in the future, so i'd love any critiques (pls don't be mean) or your thoughts!! thank you for reading :) <3

you'd like to say that you've been able to get over him. you broke up over three years ago with the mutual understanding that the relationship wouldn't work anymore, with your differing destinations after college, and you know it wouldn't have. you both decided it'd be better to end your relationship rather than let the distance pull you apart and ensure you'd never want to see each other ever again. you thought that time would find other things in your life to fill the hole in your heart, but that space is still full and left the way it was the day you split.

it's embarrassing, when you meet up with you friends from college for drinks, and they ask about the latest developments in your love life. there were one or two flings that you were able to talk about once or twice, but you couldn't find a way to make any space for them with how much of your heart still belongs to akaashi. all of the time between that just had a scripted response of how 'you're not looking right now' and how you didn't want to meet their roommate's brother's friend.

the arms that you drape around your waist and the fingertips that caress your hairline when you can't fall asleep happen to be your own, but you still remember enough about akaashi's gentle touch that it works well enough that your heart can stay content while you sleep. but no one's touch comes close to akaashi's.

though, the desperation that you've felt for years is so easily replaced with embarrassment and shyness the second you meet his line of sight.

it's been in the back of your mind that you'd see him at the olympics, after bokuto invited you to come see him play and it's obvious that he'd invite akaashi too, akaashi's the one that introduced him to you. it seems that the obvious lived on the back-burner of your life.

your eyes search for the bright red that the team wears, or meian's head that is sure to stick out in a crowd, or bokuto's loud voice that is often a beacon for his whereabouts. but the contrast of akaashi's blue eyes that you can recognize from thirty miles away in fog are the first thing you find, and with them a war in your heart and mind. your heart wants to be happy, overjoyed that it gets to be close to the other that it belongs to so dearly and fully, but your mind knows that his heart hasn't belonged to you in a long time. the weight of your heart in your chest pulls your feet down to the ground, stuttering and just trying to believe that he's right there.

the smile on your face is a somewhere between nervous and genuine as you approach the group, keeping your eyes focused on bokuto with the occasional side eye to akaashi to gauge his reaction. he's staring at the floor.

"thank you for coming! i didn't think you'd make it for the first week with your schedule!" bokuto shifts his attention to your arrival.

"there is no way i would miss it, so i just stayed up last night to get caught up on work that i'd miss during my vacation time," your smile and excitement is starting to mask the tension.

"ahh, keiji did the same thing!"

of course he did. he's the one that showed you how to get piles of work done in a night so that you could take the days ahead of you off. to spend with him, and him you.

you know akaashi is thinking of the same thing, because he has that same polite smile that kids put on when their parents are bragging about them to friends in the grocery store.

"that's not surpri-" you begin, but are cut off by the announcement of the team needing to head to warm-up for their match.

"shoot, i'm sorry. we'll talk after," he turns to leave, "you two should catch up, though."

he did this on purpose. as the team and their staff leave to the court, you and akaashi just stand there to wait for the other to say something. akaashi hasn't said anything since you got there, so you doubt he'll go for it.

"so what-" you start.

"do you want-" he starts.

you both start but are interrupted by the other. he meets your eyes with his - the first direct contact you've had in over three years - and chuckles.

"you go first," he gestures to you.

"no, you. i was going to ask you something i already know, anyway," his eyes widen at this.

"that's so elusive! now you have to ask."

his polite smile is shifting into a grin. this dynamic is so familiar. it makes your heart ache.

"i was just going to ask what you what you're doing nowadays, but i saw your name in the back of jump a few months ago. so it's a silly question. you're turn." you're flustered but it's so easy to fall back into this with him.

"i was going to ask if you wanted to go up to sit," he points towards the stairs.

"with me." he clarifies. you nod, and you wish you could say with absolute certainty that you see him twitch his hand towards the direction of yours, but you know it can be a trick of the light.

your discussion is put on hold as you try to find your way around the confusing stairs and hallways and aisles of the arena bleachers. to your luck, this is only the first day after the opening ceremonies so there are significantly less crowds than there will be in the coming days. akaashi leads you to a quieter corners, that doesn't have as good of a view of the court.

"now it's your turn." he's right. he did ask the last question. you hum.

"hmm. do you have anything else going on other than work?"

or any more-than-friends?

"not particularly. i don't get much free-time and when i have any i just do the usual. read, do the laundry, dishes. i've almost mastered knitting after so long and i've been dabbling in watercolor and calligraphy lately, but results are little to none."

he's all the same. you still have the knitted finger glove that he made you just after he started learning how to knit. he told you it was a 'pen warmer', but it was the perfect fit for a finger.

"my turn now," he's almost hasty to ask you something next, "can we talk about...us?"

the warm cloud that you've been living in for the past half an hour or so has evaporated, leaving you cold and exposed.

"wh-what do you mean?'

"it's just that i-no, wait," he wipes his palms on his slacks and takes a deep breathe, "sometimes i just wonder if we'd still be with each other. we didn't end on bad terms, and i was still so very in love with you when we split. i probably still am, honestly. but had we both stayed in tokyo, do you think we'd still be together?"

your wide eyed gaze can only focus on you fingers playing with each other on your lap. you know akaashi is doing the same, but he's willing to take the occasional glance at you.

you don't know why you didn't expect this. it's not like he just forgot everything between you. but, to hear your feelings and internal conflict be mirrored and reciprocated gives you hope. according to him, he's probably still in love with you. you know the answer is yes, you'd still hold akaashi just as close if not closer than you did when you started dating.

"sorry, you don't have to say anything. i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable. i just wanted you to know the truth before-"

"of course i do, keiji. i've loved you since the day i met you. but what does this change? i still work and live in tokyo, and i can't just quit my job. you still work and live in kyoto, and you're doing so well for yourself. long distance wouldn't have worked then, how could it work now?"

"no, you're right. i'm not sure what i thought would happen. thank you for being honest."

you want to cry, you can feel it right behind your eyes. akaashi just handed to you the words you've wanted to hear for so long, but it didn't change anything. you're still just as hopeless as you were three years ago. but, before you can try and let anymore of your emotions spill out, the match starts. you and akaashi part ways afterwards with akaashi's, "promise you won't be a stranger, y/n. my number stayed the same."

you stayed through the olympics, continuing your support for bokuto and the team throughout, but you never saw akaashi after that first match. bokuto told you he brought quite a bit of his work with him, so he spent most of his trip in his hotel room and probably avoided you for the rest.

---

your promise with akaashi has gone unkept, with the last words between you being the promise itself. you didn't know how to tell him at the time that you deleted his number the week after the breakup, and you no longer had it. it would've been so easy for you to just ask bokuto, but you told him about what happened at the olympics and it's become somewhat of an awkward topic.

but he hasn't been any better. you haven't heard anything from him, though he's probably taking the silence on your end as a hint. you two are just the same as you were before, there's just more salt in the wound this time.

UNKNOWN: Hello y/n, it's Keiji. I'm sorry to be a bother if you're busy, and I hope this is still your number, but I'm going to be coming down to Tokyo tomorrow and I'll be staying for a week or two. I'd love to see you if you're available and catch up!

UNKNOWN: And we can catch up as friends, I won't bring up anything unwanted.

you wish you could say you're busy. you wish you could refuse him.

Y/N: I'd love to! Just come to my place at 6?

keiji: Sounds like a plan

keiji: :)

---

you open your door the next evening to akaashi with a bottle of wine in his left arm and his bag in his right. you recognize his outfit as the same one he wore the day you met at the olympics. you do remember how much he used to love buying several of the same outfit when he found one that looked good on him. the newer one must be the beige turtleneck sweater and brown blazer that you see in front of you. in fact, you want to say you bought him a similar turtleneck for the holidays on your last christmas together.

"hi," he breathes out. the wide smile fitted on his face and his red cheeks from the january weather with a red nose to match are accessories alongside his cheap watch.

"hi," your smile matches his, "come in."

the bottle of wine that he brought you is opened and poured, while you and akaashi share your loveseat. your conversation flows just as easily as it did those months ago at the olympics, and it's free of any discussion of your last meeting. the more wine that he drinks, the looser he gets and the gigglier he gets. you used to love staying in with akaashi on friday nights to down a cheap bottle of wine and make out until you fell asleep as a tangle of limbs.

"i'm so happy to see you. i miss you so much. i haven't heard from you since july, but it dawned on me a week or two ago that you probably deleted my number. silly keiji," he laughs pitifully at himself. you suck in a breath to begin a response but he doesn't let you get that far.

"you know, i came down to tokyo for a reason. i got a promotion and they're sending me to work at their offices here. i officially move down in a few weeks."

with his admission, you quickly recognize that his rambling came from nerves and not the alcohol like you previously thought. it takes you longer to totally process his news, and you almost find it difficult to believe. the amount of interaction that you've had with akaashi in just the past few months has been overwhelming, and he's presented you with a possible fix to the problem that has caused you so many heartaches and tears.

you remember your last conversation together, where you established that the only boundary keeping you apart was the distance.

"keiji, what are you trying to say?" the heavy gaze that he sends you answers your question.

he doesn't want to answer your question. he made a promise that he'd avoid having this conversation again.

"you know what i'm trying to say."

"do you think it would work? i mean, we've practically been strangers for years now." you try not to notice the considerable distance that is decreasing between the two of you.

"i told you i still love you last time i saw you, and nothing changed. we're probably stupid but i know i'll regret it if we don't at least try again. is that okay? i'm sorry, i know i promised-" his ramble of coming apologies is interrupted by your impulse to just kiss him.

it's familiar, it feels like the return home from a vacation that felt much too long. the meeting of an old friend. it feels like the moment you see someone from so long ago by chance and you remember exactly what it was like before you said goodbye. it is so long awaited, and now that you have it you don't know how you could've lived any longer without it.

he returns it quickly, spreading out long kisses between short breaths. you're not sure how long he kisses you, but you know that not an inch of your face or neck went untouched by his affection.

"i don't know how i've ever lived so long without you," he chuckles, and you laugh at his glasses barely hanging on his nose and the spikes of disheveled hair across his head.

"me either." another kiss.

"can i stay a little longer?"

"you can stay here forever."

[robininthelabyrinth]

Ahhh I love all of your writing. Everything always gives the impression of a fleshed out world behind it and it makes me happy to read them (no matter how heartbreaking some of them are) . For the prompt (or maybe I'd like to hear your thoughts on how this would play out): Jiang Fengmian time travels back in time. What happens when you force someone who is determined to keep the status quo into a position with unlimited power to destroy the norm?

Jiang Fengmian closed his eyes forever, and then opened them up again.

This might suggest, to a reasonable person, that he had not closed them forever, and for a moment he let himself believe that he had been merely injured and that he was now in recovery, his home restored around him as he slept – but he knew at once that that wasn’t the case.

For one thing, his golden core had been melted in that final battle, and yet it thrummed beneath his belly, strong as ever.

For another, if he was in recovery, he wouldn’t be lying in his wife’s bed, watching the sun creep up through the window instead of staring at the gorgeous woman herself, naked and fast asleep on the pillow next to him.

This would normally be the time when he crept out of bed to gather his clothing and make his way back to his own chambers – while he was technically the master of the Lotus Pier, he’d never presumed himself welcome in his wife’s bed beyond the nights they spent together. He’d barely assumed he was welcome beyond the technical acts itself, but his pride did not allow him to slink back to his rooms after having put to stud. He’d made a point of going to sleep soon after so that she couldn’t ask him to leave.

It had never occurred to him that she might want him to stay.

It had never occurred to him that she might grant him equal control over Zidian, either. It was an ancestral weapon from her maternal family, passed to whichever child showed the most aptitude for it – Jiang Cheng seemed likely, if only because Jiang Yanli was so very much not the sort to enjoy wielding weaponry – and there was no reason at all for her to share mastery of it with him.

No reason, except –

Except if she thought of him as her partner in truth, rather than merely in name.

Jiang Fengmian did not rise from the bed and collect his clothing, even as the sun crept closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Instead, he turned and pressed his lips to his wife’s shoulder.

And then, because he could, he pressed another kiss there, and another a little further up, on her neck.

She groaned, shifting her weight a little – but not pulling away. “I don’t have to get up for another shichen, you know,” she grumbled, voice rough with sleep. There was no heat to her scolding.

Jiang Fengmian’s wife, he knew, was not hesitant in applying the force of her vicious, poisonous tongue to those that even mildly irritated her.

For her, merely scolding was virtually permission.

No – encouragement.

“So we have plenty of time,” he replied, and leaned over to kiss her.

Later, she will ask him what on earth had gotten into him – the last time they’d gone to bed together for two days in a row had probably been back when they were trying to conceive Jiang Cheng, and he’d never before made any attempt to play around in the morning hours – and he would explain, laying out for her the dreadful future that lay ahead of them both, the fate of the sect they shared between them…the unknown fate of their children, which death had robbed him of ever knowing.

He would tell her, when she demanded an answer, that did not know how he had returned, only that he had.

He would confirm to her that he was certain that it was not merely a dream, but reality.

He would agree with her that they could not remain passive in the face of this information.

He would concede that they needed to start making preparations at once – to shore up their defenses, to put in place protections, to need to reach out for help, for allies. They would need to convince the Lan sect, which in their love for peace would undoubtedly refuse to believe him – perhaps allowing it to burn would end up being a cruel necessity – although the Nie sect would take no convincing at all.

Jiang Fengmian might have died before a war had started, though he was sure it would start; he did not know how it ended, but he was certain that the Nie sect would be pivotal one way or another.

(Nie Mingjue had longed to avenge his father’s death at Wen Ruohan’s hands for years, dedicating his life to the cause.  Jiang Fengmian wondered if Jiang Cheng would do the same for him, and felt guilty when he realized he did not know. Something he would need to try to fix in this life, if it wasn’t too late.)

Yu Ziyuan, never one to wait to see how the wind turned and even less patient when the matter pertained to her children, would demand that they act at once.

Jiang Fengmian would agree.

He would never willingly allow harm to come to his sect or to his family – but he was not a man born for decisive action, always too open to seeing things from multiple perspectives, empathizing too much with those who didn’t need it. He preferred that things remain calm and friendly, peaceful and nice, and he would rather adapt himself to the circumstances than invest the energy needed to change the minds of others.

He was not the sort of person who could change the history of the world, even if he knew what it was.

Luckily for him, he had a partner that would find it no difficulty at all.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: What's left behind

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Talking about past fights, including scars, Dean, Fluff, Dean!Fluff, laying in bed together, swearing, mentions of past smut, verging on implied smut, playfulness, Sassy reader.

Summary: Laying down with Y/n she starts to point out all my scars and tell her some stories I've not told anyone else.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This is for band--psycho 1.5k followers Bingo Challenge. I'm so excited that I get to be a part of this writing bingo challenge.

Square- Scars

Masterlist

Taglist: @band--psycho @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69

Y/n had just showered and was getting ready for bed. We'd already been together for so long that it had turned into a traditional thing for the two of us.

Every time that Y/n showered and we were going to be in bed I'd give Y/n a shirt of mine and she wears just that and a pair of panties. Seeing as we were just going to bed. There wasn't a single night that we didn't do that cycle.

Y/n would grab the remote to the TV, and I could turn our bedroom overhead light off, turning on the side table light instead. Y/n would climb under the sheets of our bed, grab a book and throw the remote in my general direction.

I'd climb under the sheets., and flick through the man channels that we have. Before landing on the same stupid cartoons that I wasn't able to watch as a child seeing as I was taking care of Sam.

After a few episodes of cartoons, Y/n would put her book down along with her reading glasses and cuddle up with me. Ask me what we were watching. "We're watching scooby-doo. I think it's actually an older version of the cartoon." I said this time around.

She snuggled closer and draped her uncovered leg over my pajama pant leg. The pajamas always make her laugh. The ones that have hotdogs printed them. My shirt grazing over my bare chest.

This is how we fell asleep. Snuggled close to each other, our arms wrapped around each other in the most intimate, protective sort of way. This night was different though.

Y/n started to trace my light scars that covered my body. The ones from being stabbed, or shot during a hunt. Or just the simple more domestic ones like the cuts I get while I shave my jaw.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I asked her, truly wondering what had gotten into Y/n.

"You know, we do the same thing every night. I have seen you shirtless many times. In many different situations, and I've never asked you were certain scars come from. Talking about the ones that came before I was in your life, baby." Y/n said still tracing scar lines.

“You want me to describe my scars?” I asked her. A little confused as to what Y/n was asking me. “Yes, you goofy! What do you think I was asking?” Y/n said rolling her eyes and smirking at me.

“Okay, I get that. Pick a scar and I’ll try to tell you the story of said scar.” I noted.

Y/n grazed her fingers over my shoulder, down my forearm, around the side of my stomach, and then she abruptly turned me to my side. Tracing her hand down the back of my spine. Then Y/n turned me back around on my back. Pointing at the scar that was on my stomach.

It was a long slender cut. It was about midway down my stomach right above my belly button. “This one, Deanie. Tell me the story of this one.” Y/n voiced.

I had to think for a moment. Going back recalling the memories and fights of old hunts. “Let’s see this is a scar from about six years ago. Sam, and I were on a hunt to kill a Ruagru. It was down in South Carolina. The town was on the smaller side.”  I stated. I took a breath in and then let it go, and continued talking.

“The drive was nice, and it was during the summer. So, the three layers of clothes and long flannels needed to come off. This time around Sam and I only had one layers clothes on. We went ahead and did the research for the hunt. The town was losing many kids. The kids in the morgue had they had absolutely no blood in their bodies. That was odd for the small town to deal with.”

Y/n tapped my shoulder, “Is this story a long one?” She asked giggling. “Patience my dear child!” I said starting to tickle her sides. “TELL the story, Dean!” Y/n shrieked. “Okay, okay I’ll tell you the story.” I spoke.

“Sam eventually found out where the ruagru was staying. He found out like the little hacker he is by duh hacking into the tariff lights and such and tracking them down that way. It was of course an old barn, down an old torn up road deep in the woods. Like really, but whatever right. So, we grabbed our shit from the back of baby and got to work. Now let me set the stage for this hunt.”

Y/n hummed in a response for me to continue.

“The barn was old like I have already said, the outside was painted red, but it was so old that most of the paint had come off already. The inside was much different, it was fixed up and made to be livable I would assume. Sam and I snuck in through an open space near the doors of said barn. Sam had a Molotov cocktail, and I had a weapon that looked fucking awesome.”

I said with excitement flowing through my words. Y/n raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Like I was child who had just said the stupidest thing ever, but she doesn’t want me to know.

“It was just a demon killing knife, I bet.” Y/n said rolling her eyes.

“Hey, hey now don’t ruin my story now.” I spoke. Hushing her and continuing on telling my story.

“So yes, a demon killing knife is was I had. I walked in first being the over protective brother that I am. Sam behind me and ready to throw his Molotov cocktail. I was ready for anything if there was more than just one monster. When we finally found the ruagru I guess I must have startled them because they turned around and were in my face within seconds. Within seconds after that they had picked me and thrown me all the way through a wall. The old sherds of woods grazing past my stomach.”

“OH, ahhh!” Y/n said being a smartass.

“Don't be a smartass Y/n. Let me finish the story you so gracefully wanted.” I spoke.

She shrugged and bumped my shoulder with hers. Letting me continue telling my story.

“I didn’t realize until long after Sam and I had killed the ruagru was killed that I was bleeding through my shirt. Sam was actually the one to realize that I was bleeding. I was so mad when that shirt got ruined by the time, we were able to clean our clothes the next time. I ended up throwing away the shirt.” I said with a sad tone behind my voice.

“What was on the shirt?” Y/n said a worried expression on my face.

“You know to think about it now, I think it was an ac/dc shirt, or maybe an old guns and roses shirt that I had found in a local thrift shop at one point long ago. To be honest with you I hadn’t really thought about that since that moment.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“Can we do one more, before we go to bed?”  Y/n asked me nuzzling up closer in to my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and roughly brought her as close as we could possibly be to each other.

“Sure baby, choose away!” I said, a yawn ending my sentence.

She looked around and ended up landing on the cut just underneath my jawline. She outlined it and then said; “What about this one?” Giving Y/n a rather confused expression I made sure that was the one she wanted next. “Are you sure? This one doesn’t really have a great story behind it.” I spoke.

“Duh you goof I realized that, but still, I want the story for this one.... PRETTY PLEASE!” Y/n said screaming the last part. I looked over at her, with my eyebrows raised far up on my forehead. She giggled when she looked up at me, “I’m right here sweetheart. There’s no need to scream!” I whispered. “Whatever you say grandpa.” Y/n came back with.

This time my mouth was wide open my eyebrows still far up on my forehead. I rolled my eyes and closed my mouth. “I’m just going to forget that statement and start my story.” I said, “So, this little scar is actually from when I shaved for our first date.” I said getting thought in thoughts about our first date.

Y/n wore a beautiful short red dress, paired with a pair flats. Y/n pretty much had no make-up on and wore her hair naturally. I took her not to a bar, but an actually four stared restaurants, not that far from the bunker. That night ended very much at the front of Y/n’s bedroom door.

But I remember as I went to walk back to my room. I was pulled by my wrist into Y/n’s plump lips. Now I’m not going to say kissing Y/n didn’t make me feel like a teenager all over again but that’s pretty much what it felt like.

That night we went slow mostly because I knew in that moment when Y/n pulled me into her lips that I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. That only made everything else feel more heightened.

I went slow with her, learning the curves of her body that night. I just listened to her body, I wasn’t trying to show off, or make her remember me. That was something we could do later, but in that moment, I just want to feel her and be with her in every single way.

I was forcible pulled from my thoughts when Y/n jerked my arm rather hard. “What!”  I said a stream of worry flowing through my bones. “Nothing, don’t get you panties in a wade. I just was wondering if you were done telling that story?” Y/n asked with raised eyebrows

“Umm. To be honest with you. All I can remember from that night was how beautiful you looked, and how that night at your bedroom door that I wanted to spend that rest of my days with you. I knew right then that no matter what Chuck said or what Billy said that we were going to be together because I love you.” I said kissing her lips.

Just like every time I kiss her lips it reminds me that she isn’t going to leave. That we are together through anything that could possibly be chucked at us. It reminds me that I’ve got everything I need and it’s all in the room.

When we released each other lips, Y/n looked at me, with bruised lips and said; “I love you to y’know. I remember that day so vividly too. You were wearing your normal jeans and a nicer shirt; we went to a four-star restaurant, I think. I remember you dropping me off at my bedroom door. I so wanted to kiss you before I shut that door, but I couldn’t balls up. I guess that thought of this never happening was too overpowering because the moment I heard your shoes start to fade I opened the door and took the best leap of my life. I love you too Dean.” Y/n said.

Y/n kissed me again in the process ended up in my lap. “Y’know we always end up like this.” I stated as Y/n kissed down my neck. My hands falling down to hips. “This is going to end up with you being submissive, and taking me so well dear.” I spoke. Digging my nails into her hips. She bucked.

“Not too fast naughty boy. Treat your girl to a show first” Y/n said winking at me, before somehow getting out of grasp and running out of our room and down the hall. “Let’s play a quiet game of tag baby. Oh, and just to let y’know. You’re it Dean.” Y/n said running down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah. You better keep running little girl. Because once I catch you. You will be bombarded with kisses all over your body.” I yelled as I followed her around the bunker halls.

“He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none” - Madeline Miller, Circe.

Completed on: 04/07/2021

[absideon-ephemeral]

II - Roommates, Commanders, and Generals.

A/N: And they were roommates - I'm sorry. The next chapter will be a lot more interesting as we finally get into the plot. And just as a heads up, THERE WILL BE NO SMUT AT ALL. Idk how to write it and I don't want to make a complete fool of myself if I do so. If I ever learn I may add some.

Warnings: mild language, curse words.

METANOIA Masterlist

——————————

Who knew a ship could be so damn big.

     I had walked and walked, following the map on my datapad to my quarters, which seemed to be on the other side of the ship. It was nearly midnight and I still hadn't reached it.

     During the entire walk, I couldn't get the strange encounter with Kylo Ren out of my head. Why had he just stared at me? What was that prickling sensation? My mind was going so fast, asking so many questions, that I almost ran into a wall. I had stopped myself just short a couple of inches from slamming right into it. I stood there, recollecting myself, as a quiet, minuscule beeping came from my datapad.

     Looking down, the beeping was signifying that I had reached my destination. In front of me were my quarters and not some random wall.

"For kriffs sake, finally," I muttered.

     I shut off my pad and went to reach for the control panel next to me, but I stopped myself from hitting the door button. Are my roommates already inside? What if they're already asleep? I don't want to get on their bad side, who knows how long I'll be rooming with them.

"Hey!"

     My head whips to the side to be met with a stormtrooper.

"What are you doing here?" They asked. From the sounds of it, the stormtrooper was female.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be rooming here." My words flew out fast and uneasy.

"Whose orders?" The stormtrooper asked.

"Head technician Ademir. He said that there were no available rooms in the technicians' quarters and that this was the first available spot," I explained.

     The stormtrooper made a noise of understanding and hit the door button on the panel. It slid open with a slight whoosh and was pitch black inside. The stormtrooper went in, turning the lights on in the process. I stood there, awkwardly, almost waiting for an invitation.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come in?" The stormtrooper said.

"Uh, yeah right." I hurriedly walked in, the door closing behind me.

     The room was semi spacious. It had two dressers, three beds, each with its small nightstand; a refresher, and a window that outlooked the galaxy.

I made my way further in and sat on the bed that looked unoccupied. I sat rather stiffly as the stormtrooper began to take off her armor.

     Her helmet came off first, revealing dark skin, that almost seemed to have a honey glow to it, brown eyes, and a pretty face.

"So what's your name little technician?" She asked. Without the helmet on, I could hear an accent that was unfamiliar to me. I gave her my name and asked for hers.

"LN-7245." She answered as she continued to undress.

"LN-72- okay, that's a lot to call you by. Do you have a nickname or something I can use?" I asked.

She momentarily stopped her movements. "No. All we ever go by is our numbers." She then resumed, sitting down on the bed to take off her shin armor.

"Well, what about," I pondered for a second, "Leonora or Leo for short." She looked up at me.

"Leonora," she tested the name on her tongue, "I like it. Sounds nice. Where'd you come up with that?"

" Your number started with LN. I just took it from there and made something out of it that sounded pretty."

"Well, thank you for that." Leonora stood up, grabbed a case from under her bed, and began to pack away her armor for tomorrow.

When she finished, she grabbed some clothes, presumably sleep ones, out of the drawer on her nightstand. Before walking away to the refresher to change, she turned to the bed farthest away from me and smacked the person, who I honestly didn't even see, that was lying in it. They awoke with a start, cursing in Durese, a language known by space travelers.

"Why would you do that? I was sleeping so nicely!" They groaned. It was another female. This one had blond hair with brown streaks, blue eyes, and a pretty face as well.

"We have a new roommate. Be nice." Leonora smacked her again with her clothes and went to the refresher to change.

The girl grumbled something then turned to me, leaning back on her elbows, her head cocked to the side.

"So, what's your name?" She asked. I gave it to her. She peered at me curiously.

"You don't look like a stormtrooper." She pointed out.

I laughed. "What gave that away?"

She looked me up and down, "You don't have the body of a stormtrooper. And the way you seem to carry yourself, I'd assume you're a technician."

"Right you are." She laughed.

"I'm ZA-7283."

"Nice to meet you. Can I give you a nickname?" I asked.

"Nickname?" She asked. Leonora walked out of the refresher, dressed in comfy, all-black, nightclothes.

"She gave me one," Leo laid down on her cot, putting hands behind her head, "I'm Leonora, Leo for short." She had an air of pride around her.

The other girl gasped. "That sounds so cool! I want one too!"

"Okay, um, how about Zariah?" I suggested.

"Ooo, I like that. Makes me sound badass!" Zariah exclaimed. Leo and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

After we all calmed down, Zariah asked me a question.

"So why did they put a technician with two stormtroopers?"

I told her the same thing I told Leo.

"Ahhh okay. Well, at least you got two roommates who aren't sticks in the mud. That would've sucked." Zariah laid back down. I nodded in agreement.

—————————

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

     I hoped to maker that there were no higher-up officials around, because if so, I would've most likely faced punishment. I was currently running through the halls like a mad man with my jumpsuit half on and struggling to carry my small tool bag.

     I had completely forgotten to set an alarm last night, causing me to wake up 20 minutes late, which is by no means acceptable. Leo and Zari left way before me, as troopers have to get up earlier than the techs, and they didn't even bother to wake me up.

So now I had to resort to dashing my way through the metal halls, weaving in and out of other technicians and stormtroopers. As I slid around a corner, I suddenly ran straight into something. The force I hit it with was enough to send me sprawling backward onto the cold metal floor. I groaned in slight pain and made an effort to sit up. Regaining my bearings, my sight is immediately met with black boots.

My blood ran cold.

Trailing my eyes up, all I see is black. Black pants, a black shirt, a black cloak, and a black helmet.

The prickling sensation returns. This time it's sifting through my mind, weaving in and out of the crevices.

Kylo Ren.

I scramble to my feet as quickly as possible and bring my arm into a salute. Once again, the black soulless eyes of his mask stare into the very depths of me.

"Please forgive me, Commander, sir!" The wavering words flew out. He said nothing, and I feared that he would whip out his lightsaber and end me right then and there. But he simply stared for a few more moments then briskly walked away, the prickling fading with him.

I watched as he left, not dropping my salute until he disappeared completely and I could no longer hear his boots on the metal floor.

When I had deemed it safe, I dropped my arm and breathed a sigh of relief. Gathering myself together, zipping up my uniform properly, and grabbing my bag, I made my way to my task for the day.

I was assigned to fix some damage in a meeting room, presumably caused by Kylo Ren during a meeting that had gone sour.

But when I walked through the doors metal blast doors, I couldn't help but curse.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

In front of me was one of the biggest messes I have ever seen. The poor innocent wallhad been slashed many times by a burning saber, leaving deep jagged lines. They crossed and weaved in and out of one another, forming some type of chaotic artwork. No matter the strange beauty, this was going to be a pain to fix.

Setting my bag down, I went closer to inspect the damage. The wiring underneath it had been damaged severely. Some areas are worse than others, but half of the underneath panels would need to be replaced.

Looking away from the wall, I took notice of a larger bag of tools and a welding cart set off of the side; free for me to use. I walk over to the bag, open it, and grab my first piece.

——————

Four hours and counting. That's how long I've been fixing this mess. And I haven't even gotten to re-welding the slashes yet.

For the last hour, I've been working in a tight space. Literally.

To fix some of the wires in one of the deeper slashes, I had to go inside the wall. It required me to remove the vent cover, which resided right below the slash near the floor, and crawl inside; upside down. It took me several tries and having to unzip my jumpsuit halfway, revealing my black under tank, and tie the sleeves around my waist to finally weasel in. My back was flat against the air vent as I worked and I could hardly hear anything. Honestly, it was a miracle I even fit. After removing the air duct lining, I was able to finally access the wires.

Which leads me up to now. I was in the process of attaching one of my last wires, peacefully working and oblivious to the outside world, when something unexpectedly nudged my foot.

The sensation made me jolt up, my head slamming into the roof of the duct.

"Kriff!" The word escaped as pain now radiated through my head. My foot was nudged again. "One moment please!" I shouted. I began to weasel my way back out, having slight difficulty due to not being able to see much.

Once I finally got my head and arms out, I sat on the ground, blinking my eyes to adjust to the harsh lighting, having been in a dark vent for the last hour.

"Did you hear me?"

My head whipped up, and I was met with someone you hoped to never meet; the infamous, General Hux.

I stood immediately, getting a slight head rush from the fast movement, and saluted. "General Hux, sir." I addressed him.

He looked at me with distaste; not pleased to see me without my uniform on properly. But there was no going back now. He looked me up and down, a frown forming on his face. He was just like I've heard him to be. Short, red-haired, and a not-so-pleasing face that was always screwed up in a face of displeasure.

He huffed and spoke again. "Did you hear me at all?" His voice was snobby and pitched.

"No sir, I couldn't hear anything in there." I curtly replied, taking notice of the men behind him. Other Generals and officers, I had never seen, but by the way they presented themselves, they were important.

"Well, I had asked what you are doing in here. This is a restricted area to those without permission." He sneered, obviously not liking me.

"I was tasked to fix this damage, sir. Some of the wirings needed to be replaced but I could only access it through the vent, sir." I remained still, keeping my salute.

"On whose orders?"

"Head technician Ademir, sir. I have the assignment on my data-pad if you wish to see, sir."

"That won't be necessary. Do you have any other tasks to do?" He was growing frustrated at my presence.

"No sir, I don't. This is my only one due to how much work it requires." I answered. He huffed and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the blast doors opening, and someone walking in. My view was blocked by the other men, but General Hux rolled his eyes, already knowing who had entered.

"Ah, Commander, how pleasant of you to join us."

[nowheretobefound101]

I Will Find You

A one-shot story dedicated to humanity who suffers fear and pure sadness because of the unacceptable truth about death.

I know how you admire this place so much. A place where you always pick up your fresh daisies and collect it in your handwoven basket. This flower field of yours is where our story began and I still remember the scent of freshly picked flowers all over your dress and hair, and also, your signature smile that never fails to enlighten my days after it.

Right now, at this moment, you give me this nostalgia just like back in the day I first met you.

I was just roaming around in this unfamiliar place until I got lost in the middle of your flower field. I am just moved in at my grandparents' house at that time, and I decided to sneak out of the house for a while to find out if something is amusing in this place. I continue strolling around until I saw you, gracefully sitting on the ground filled with daisies, sweetly humming a calm melody, and your hair flows smoothly with the air that also gave off its a vivid color like it kisses the sun.

I silently walked towards you and crouched in front of you. As you opened your eyes, I saw a great shocked in your face.

"AHHH!! WHO ARE YOU!? DON'T MAKE A MOVE." You screamed as if I will gonna rob you.

"Ohh, My bad for scaring you, I'm lost." I said.

"Your name's lost? I think your parents' had a bad taste." She giggled as she fixed her dress.

"No, I... I mean, I am literally 'lost',and Jack is my name!" I corrected.

"I'm just kidding! By the way, I'm Elsa. I see that your are the newcomer that your grandma told me for a couple of days ago." She said.

"Okay, so my grandma never runs out of stories to tell huh. But, please, I just want to go home right now 'cuz I just sneaked out in fixing my stuffs."

"So someone's getting trouble later!" She teased.

"C'mon, just help me!" I pleaded.

"Calm down you sneaky ones, I'll help you, okay, but first, help me to pick these daisies for your grandma. And yeah, if you wanted a place for yourself you can just freely visit my flower field."

"Thank you for your warm welcoming, Elsa." I said.

After we picked up those daisies for my grandma, she guided and walked me home. I never imagine that my grandparents are really closed to her. I thought that they'll gonna sermon me, instead, they were both glad and shocked that I already known Elsa.

And also, I found out where my grandma, who is so fond of daisies, came from.

Every afternoon, we are always staying on our spot in your flower field. We eat, laugh, tell some stories, collect some flowers to be sold on the market, music jamming, and even ending up taking a nice nap wherein sometimes, grandma will gonna wake us up if she minded to visit the place.

Days... Months... To years. Two people who begin and meet up as strangers, and now, I can't believe that you are my fiance.

But, Is this a right choice?

I keep regretting myself, every day along with our joys and love, not telling you the real reason why I moved with my grandparents. You only knew that I moved because I don't have parents anymore. I also told my grandparents for a long time ago to keep my secret hidden from the world I know.

I agreed to live for the rest of my years with my grandparents, hide until it ended because of my terrible fate, yet, everything changes until you came into my hopeless life. It is all coincidental and you never failed to enlighten me. Honestly, I failed too many times in love but you are something unique and special that I've never seen to anyone.

You are the only one who enlightened my hopeless heart and soul.

And the day I feared came as I passed out in the middle of the fields while we are happily collecting some daisies. That moment, my sight slowly turns blurry and I can't even feel my body anymore. As I fell through the grounds, I saw the daisies burst out in the mid-air, suddenly, I heard your voice repeatedly calling my name... calling some help, until everything went pitch black.

As I woke up, I feel so weak, I am not even aware of what day it is, and I am just catching up on my breath. I tried to look around and I saw you, sitting beside my bed and sleeping as your head placed to your arms down to my bed, I want to call your name, but, I really can't. Luckily, you noticed me awake as you feel me moved my hands to yours. You quickly stand up and sit in front of me, you planned to call my grandparents but I stopped you because I want to let you know all my regrets before my time ends.

"Elsa, I am begging you, just listen to me."

"What is it Jack, I'm here and I can hear you." I see into your eyes how worried you are and feel it on how you pressed my hands.

"I am sorry if I'd never confessed to you about this unknown disease that makes me weaker every single day. I moved to my grandparents to hide my terrible and undesirable fate to all as I wanted to shut myself out from anyone. Yet, you came into my life. I don't blame it okay, honestly, I am glad that I met you. I know from the start that I can't keep this from you forever but I just don't want to see you and my grandparents burden the pains when I left. I'm so sorry, Elsa. I am really sorry."

"Hush, my darling and just take a deep breath. I knew it already, as I observed how clumsy you are, as to how you see the world around you, as to how those medicines were in your pockets... I knew it already, Jack. When you were carried here by our fellow villagers, your grandparents also talked to me about this and on how you shut yourself so you can't see anyone suffers. Jack, I am also glad that you are the only person who showed me the beauty of falling in love, you also gave colors to my world, and you also enlighten me to appreciate the world. You had done nothing wrong." She confessed.

"If this is the time for you to take your rest... It's okay, Jack. Don't worry too much about us." She added.

"Uhm... Elsa... Ca... Can I ask you something?" I weakly said to her. I am trying my best to catch up on some air as I still can.

"What is it?" She answered.

" I know we can't stop the time, dear. I'm sincerely sorry, but, I... I just wish to see you, smiling in front of me for the last time because this is the only thing, my last memorabilia of you, that I can take for my departure. I... I know it's hard for you to--"

You stopped me as you placed your hands on my cheeks and rubbing my tears that flow in my face. I weakly smiled at you as I felt the your gentle hands for the last time.

"I'll smile for you even you don't request it from me." She answered.

As she smiled, she can't control herself from her overflowing emotions of pain and sadness as I see her cry at the same time.

I see my grandparents for the last time trying to not interrupting us. They are just silently standing, and peeking and listening through a small gap in the door. She didn't notice them as she continuously cries out.

"It's okay to cry, Elsa." I said. I just hope that I can wipe her tears back. "Thank you for making me happy within my limited time. I'm sorry if I need to leave you so suddenly. I love you as I will be waiting for you in our next lives." I smiled, yet, everything surrounds me faded little-by-little.

"I love you 'till we meet again. Sleep now, Jack." And this is the last thing I heard.

Elsa cried so hard after I left and my grandparents open the door and approach her. Then, the room is just filled with their mourns and tears around my dead body.

Days turn to weeks that passed away quickly... I can't even tell you that my soul is still wandering around in this world because I was told to finish my last mission.

From the first, it made my mind discombobulated until I see your name flash within my memory.

"You are my last mission." I told to myself.

Even though you can't see, feel, or hear me anymore, I can still able to guide you throughout your sufferings. My soul's still alive to finish my last mission because you are still believing in me.

But history repeats itself, and now, I see myself to you who shut yourself to everyone. I can only sense your agonies, fears, and sadness all over the room. My grandparents always checked you in your home, yet, you always said that "You're fine. Just leave me alone."

What should I do? I want to accomplish this mission, but how?

I remembered that you have a sister who lives in the near village with her husband. I tried to find her, however, I still don't know what will should I do.

When night came, I planned if I can able to write and luckily I have enough strength as a soul to do it. While your sister and her husband sleeping, I tried to write a short letter that I hope it may help you.

Days later, your sister saw your letter and visit you again. She opens and enters your cabin, removed and placed her winter coat into the rack behind the door, and she goes straight to your room.

She knocks on your door but you didn't answered. She called,

"Elsa, please I know you're in there

People are asking where you've been

They say, 'have courage' and I'm trying to,

I'm right out here for you

Just let me in."

But still, you have no response.

Anna calls you for another time,

" We only have each other

It's just you and me

What are we gonna do?"

And you suddenly opened your door and let your sister enter. Both of you stand beside your window that is full of daisies. You still don't make any response and Anna seems so worried about you. But, as the moment you pick up a daisy, Anna blurted out in her soft comforting voice, "Do you want to build a snowman?" After you hear it out clearly, you cried out in front of her.

I see, You made to let out your emotions again after I left at the beginning of winter.

Tears just suddenly flow down from your eyes and your sister continues to comfort you.

"Elsa, shutting yourself and burdening it by yourself is not what Jack wanted for you right? Yesterday, I found a piece of paper hidden in our picture. Do you wanna read it. Here, take this." Anna slipped out a paper and held it to Elsa.

Elsa read it loudly that the two of them can hear...

"Love can heal a frozen heart. Both of your hearts were like your daisies: Pure, innocent, and there it lies your true love. If you had read this, remember that when you feel lost through your darkness, let your daisies enlighten you towards your true love.

P.S. I will get mad if you forget how to smile :)

Anna, protect her from me okay. I'm sorry if I can't give you some chocolates this time."

"Jack's really full of fun and suprises." Elsa giggles.

"Finally, you smiled again, I hope he can see you smile like that again." Anna frankly said.

"C'mon, I know that whenever he is, he always gonna see this smile of mine." Elsa said.

"So, do you want to build a snowman, the flower fields seems to be filled up with snow." Anna joyfully asked.

"If you insisted. Thank you, Anna." And she hugged her sister so tight and Anna also hugged her back.

Anna suddenly holds Elsa's hand and rushed out because of her excitement, they run straight to the fields and dive mountains mountain of snow.

I watched you played with your sister and build a snowman, I also tried to join your fun the last time. So, I scoop a pile of snow and form some snowballs. At first, I hit you, and it was so fun that you blame Anna just like before when I still have my body. Then, I hit your sister next that makes her revenge and rained you with her snowballs.

Finally, you set me free and I also set you free.

I know you can sense me even you can't see me anymore...

For the last time, I just wanna say thank you for believing in me for no matter what reasons, and, for now, before I take step to eternity, I want you to know that I promised myself that you are the only person I'll find and love you again through our next lives, see you soon.

"I will also find you, Jack. You are the only man that I will love again in our next lives. Thank you and see you soon." You whispered and tears started to fall to you.

Did you really reply to me, Elsa? No, it must be a coincidence.

"I can sense you there like a friend I've always known. Show yourself, I'm no longer trembling." You opened your eyes and started to see me like a dream.

I come close to you and place my head into yours.

"I see, you still believe in me no matter what." I whispered to her.

"Yes, Jack. Until eternity. Can I feel you for the last time?"

"Yes, you may, Elsa. I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled as you closed your eyes and cry.

Once I closed my eyes, I cried and at the same time I feel my soul fades little-by-little.

And for the last time, I see your smile from the day I first encountered you.

Because it is the only smile that enlightened me out of my darkness.

See you soon. I will find and love you again to our next lives.

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

ahhhh hi sorry for the LATE response, life's been kinda wild lately

anyway, i'm really glad you liked the poem & i don't mind you sharing it :)

(plus, a new prompt sounds nice)

(&btw, richard siken's new book is gonna be called "blue jupiters" (as far as i know copper canyon press will publish it))

also, happy you liked the recs! i found it cool how you said "the way god chooses to escape from his own reality through someone who does not believe enough in him to question him at first"! couldn't have put it better myself.

(sorry if this ask seems all over the place, i just have to get somewhere and i'm gonna be mad late - but i really want to finally send a response)

i enjoyed your recommendations a lot so let me elaborate real quick-

the problem with travel:

right off the bat, same.

traveling does always make me feel like i'm starting a new chapter and i should act accordingly.

love "kill the kid stuff, start to act my numbers" - the choice of words you use when writing is so important. (thats why i cant judge anyone who spends a long ass time on thesaurus! sometimes writing really does feel like looking through a lost & found or fishing the right word out of a goodwill bin! flipping through a magazine in search for the right word to cut out and stick on your collage!) imagine how substantially different the poem would sound if limon had written "start to act my age" instead of "start to act my numbers"

"[...] - we’re small

and flawed, but I want to be

who I am, going where

I’m going, all over again."

this^ part kills me in a good way

accident report in the tall, tall weeds:

"my ex got hit by a bus"

gets right to the point. kinda like a short story? an immediate jump into action

i might've said this before but i like it when poems tell stories (i mean i guess they all do, in a way, but i specifically mean the ones that have clear characters? if that makes sense)

"No tampering with the great universal brake wires."

ahhh yeah - when you feel like a thought can cause real life consequences

"When the plane went down in San Francisco,

I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes.

He memorizes the wrecked metal details,

the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke.

Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes:

The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa.

How people go on, and how people don’t.

It was almost a year before I learned

that his brother was a pilot.

I can’t help it,

I love the way men love."

^ don't you love it when a poem beats your heart to a pulp?

"What I saw in the men who came before,

sometimes I don’t want to say this out loud,

was someone I could hold up to my ear

and hear the ocean, something I could say my name into,

and have it returned in the inky waves."

self recognition through the other! yeah! sometimes people are people and sometimes people are mirrors and i know this wasn't her point but aren't we all just saying "hey! this is how i feel! do you feel like that too?" and sometimes "language is complicated but i think you know exactly what i mean and i know what you mean too!" and "when our experience overlaps the cosmic alone-ness becomes bearable!"

shit i'd love to drop another rec but i REALLY have to go now! hope to hear from you soon

-cat

Well, lmao Cat now, I'm the one who's late in replying, but yeah, I've been really busy. Now, I've got a bit of a time to reply to your ask.

First of all, "Don't You Wonder, Sometimes?" by Tracy Smith is a really interesting poem especially centred around Bowie. I love how the poet makes Bowie into a mythical being, like a sort of a spirit rather than a mortal man.

"Not God, exactly. More like-

Some thin-hipped glittering Bowie-being"

I love how the poem takes in the spirit of Bowie as something that will keep living on -

"Saying nothing is lost, that everything lives on waiting only

To be wanted back badly enough?

Bowie will never die. Nothing will come for him in his sleep

Or charging through his veins. And he’ll never grow old,"

It's just a beautiful way to think of the artist living on despite their death. They live through those they have touched with their art as well as their art themselves.

"In which I’m forever a child looking out my window at the night sky

Thinking one day I’ll touch the world with bare hands

Even if it burns."

And I just simply love these lines ^^^ . I love the poem touches up on reincarnation. It's interesting as it mentions how people are reincarnated a few times and then, they go to the beyond.

"And how many lives

Before take-off, before we find ourselves

Beyond ourselves, all glam-glow, all twinkle and gold?"

And finally, I love how the deification fo Bowie continues making him into a cryptid? That's the best way I can describe it honestly.

"When a man his size can meet

Your eyes for just a blip of time

And send a thought like SHINE

SHINE SHINE SHINE SHINE

Straight to your mind. Bowie,

I want to believe you."

(I followed your style of picking up lines and talking about them - it's a pretty fun thing to do)

{Purple happens to be my fav colour so, yeah I annotated with purple}

And yeah, language is funky like that. Honestly, I love the fact that people swap art with each and it's like every though we're different, you go through the same emotions. No matter whatever niche emotion is, someone has already written about it! If they haven't, you can always write it!

This reminded of a favourite poem of mine (tw : homophobia and sort of death ? though) which reminds me of the awkwardness of telling people I'm queer / coming out to them. It's called Three A.M. by Jill McDonough.

Also, I've been reading some more stuff to rec them and to hear your thoughts on them. It's all food - themed because I really got into food poetry last week. And as I was talking to a lovely mutual about the intimacy of cooking food and feeding someone.

I'd highly rec the movie "Big Eden". It's a wonderful gay rom-com movie with no homophobia at all and a lot of intimate cooking and wanting to make sure that your crush is loved and taken care off.

But anyway -

Having a Coke with You by Frank O'Hara

Perhaps the World Ends Here by Joy Harjo

The Orange by Wendy Cope

For Grace, After A Party by Frank O'Hara

Eating Together by Li-Young Lee

And these two posts are where I got these poems from, so perhaps you could read the other ones in the list.

Food Poems 1

Food Poems 2

And also, you're into Succession! Yay!! Are you into Tomgreg? If you're not, that's chill. But, like more Tomgreg people the better. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the show too! :) And like I said before, I really enjoyed your Kendall edit! Did you get a chance to watch my Tomgreg edit? It's called Don't Blame Me, I put it on my Tumblr. (No pressure if you can't)

And I have to ask, because I forgot, what are your pronouns, Cat? I use she/they. I just wanted to ask what you want me to use while referring to you. And let me know if you wanna do another poetry writing swap again.

Anyway, that's it for now! Let me know what you think! I hope to hear from you soon :)

[messedupessy]

Bb! Bby! My sexy neighbor! I'd love to see the writing prompt no. 2 with Seaswap bois. :>c Good ol brother shenanigans are a rarity and it would be cool to see this with my fave pirates!

Ahhh finally after weeks it’s finally done gknrengjek UwU ❤ sorry for the wait Gasty bb seems like I ended up with a bit of a burnout or something, but hey I finished it at last so here ya go enjoy :D wrote like most of it today and it turned out pretty good yes

Also translations of Pass’s accent will be at the end ye

Shut Up and Catch Me

Relationship: None, just bros

Warnings: Minor panic attack but otherwise none

Prompt: “Quit asking how I got stuck up here and just catch me.” 

Summary: Don't question how an explosion could make him fly off of a building.

AO3

This was not how he thought his day would go.

Like, Boney was used to be in dangerous situations, it was kinda part of the lives he and his brother led.

But his current predicament was a bit unusual to the usual dangerous situations he usually got into.

Because he was currently stuck, clinging for his dear life, onto a flag pole. After been literally blasted off of a building, don’t question how that was even possible. Since someone, no other than his brother of course, had gotten careless with his blasted explosives.

And he would have slid down the pole already if it wasn’t for the fact that his one boot had gotten stuck and all tangled up in the rope used to raise and lower the flag.

He could technically just slide his foot out of the boot or just cut the boot off, but there was no way he was going to cut them up to get free, they were some of his favourite boots and there was just no way he was ruining them or leaving it stuck up there!

He also refused to run around with only one boot that would just be stupid and he would look silly.

Which was why he was in the process of trying to untangle the mess of ropes his boot was stuck in, using a small knife he had pulled out of said boot to slowly but surely cut the surprisingly thick ropes while holding onto the pole with his other hand so he wouldn’t end up back dangling upside down with only the rope holding him up.

Letting out a small indignant sound of irritation, he kept on cutting into the rope carefully as to not accidentally cut and ruin his boot, worry growing inside of him as he kept hearing shouting from the slavers he and his brother had gone and visited and ended up fighting.

Like yes, he knew his brother was like a one man army, but that didn’t stop him from getting worried about his safety anyway even though he knew that his brother was more than capable of getting out of anything completely unscathed, especially since the people they were fighting was way more incompetent than usual.

After several more minutes of him fighting with the rope, so was he very close to just say screw it if his boot got ruined as his worry for his brother just grew, as his brothers safety was way more important than the safety of his boot and he let out a stream of curses in various languages that he knew because why was the rope giving him so much trouble it was ridiculous!

“PFTMWHEHEE BONAY?! HOU’D YE GIT UP THARE?!”

An all too familiar booming, and laughing, voice cut Boney off from his string of curses, making him quickly look down to the ground and lo and behold there was his brother, looking as bright and lively as always with no visible injury he could discern from where he was at, which made him breathe out in relief.

“quit askin’ how i got stuck up here an’ just catch me!”, Boney shouted back down, with some irritation still left in his voice, as he then proceeded to finally succeed in cutting through the rope that was holding his prized boot, and himself, stuck on the pole, letting out a small sound in victory.

“AH AARICHT GIT YA!”, Pass replied grinning widely as he extended his arms out in preparation to catch his brother.

Boney grinned as he then pushed himself away from the pole and began his descent towards the ground, as he could just have slid down the pole to get down which he originally had intended to do, which technically would have been easier and much safer, but…

What was the fun in getting down if he couldn’t do it as dramatically as he could?

As he fell through the air, looking up at the night sky a intrusive flash of something he wish he could stop remembering flashed through his mind, the all too familiar scene of been surrounded by water as he quickly sank down into the depths of the ocean, his eyesight getting blurry as his lunges were filled with liquid.

He couldn’t breathe.

Boney barely noticed as he landed safely into his brother's arms with a soft thud, his brother laughing over his shenanigan, but which quickly stopped as Pass then looked at him in worry, feeling how his whole body was shaking in his arms as Boney kept his eyes shut.

“BONAY…? YE ARICHT?”, at the sound of his name Boney snapped out of it, his sockets opening wide while breathing in deeply as he caught his breath and looked into the face of his brother who was looking at him with concern.

“ye-yeah i’m good.”, he assured him, quickly making himself calm down and pushing what he just had experienced into the deepest reaches of his mind where it belonged.

He then, with his expression turning from minor panic to more of a pout, he gave Pass’s shoulder a small smack as he said chidingly. “but ye should really watch ye explosives…! me outfit almost got ruined thanks tha ya!”

“MWHEHEEHE YE KIN AYEWIS GIT FREISH ONES!”, Pass laughed, clearly deciding not to ask Boney what just happened which he was grateful for, even though he knew his brother most likely would try to bring it up later which he was so not looking forward to, since Boney just wanted to ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Before Boney had a chance to reply, a window shattered loudly behind them, alongside the familiar smell of smoke from something big burning and gunpowder.

“pass… what did ya do?”

“MWHEHEHEE WEILL…”, Pass chuckled, but before any more words escaped him the oh so ever familiar sound of a massive explosion been set off was heard loudly behind them.

Pass turned around towards the sound, so both of them got to watch as the large fancy mansion they had been in earlier, and which Boney had gotten blown off of to start with, get completely exploded apart with pieces of wood and other parts that made it up fly everywhere.

They stood there, or well Pass did as Boney was still in his arms, watching the now completely ruined building, debris and the remaining standing walls quickly catching fire while the still remaining and alive slavers kept shouting and screaming.

“… dunno why i’m even shocked.”, Boney eventually muttered with a deadpan, Pass letting out another laugh at his reaction. His brows suddenly furrowed as he asked. “ya did get what we went here tha get tho, right? ye didn’t jist go an’ blow tha place up before getting’ it?”

“NA NEED TAE WIRRIE BRUTHA, AH GIT THA THIN’ SAUFELY IN ME POCKET, YE KEN A NAW SUMPF!”, Pass immediately reassured him with a roll of his eyes, still smiling wide.

“aye, i know.”, Boney grinned in turn, he then wrapped his arms a bit tighter around his brother's neck, making sure he was secure in his hold. “anyway we been dallyin’ here fer tha long, let’s head to tha ship pass before tha survin’ guards finds us.”

“SHUIR THIN’!”, Pass grinned back, shifting his hold slightly on Boney before he began sprinting towards the ship, holding his brother securely in his arms while sounds of more explosives been set off and people screaming and shouting was heard here and there around them.

Translations:

“PFTMWHEHEE BONAY?! HOU’D YE GIT UP THARE?!” = "PFTMWHEHEE BONEY?! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE?!"

“AH AARICHT GIT YA!” = "AH ALL RIGHT GOT YOU!"

“BONAY…? YE ARICHT?” = "BONEY...? YOU ALL RIGHT?"

“MWHEHEEHE YE KIN AYEWIS GIT FREISH ONES!”= "MWHEHEEHE YOU CAN ALWAYS GET NEW ONES!"

“NA NEED TAE WIRRIE BRUTHA, AH GIT THA THIN’ SAUFELY IN ME POCKET, YE KEN A NAW SUMPF!” = "NO NEED TO WORRY BROTHER, I GOT THE THING SAFELY IN MY POCKET, YOU KNOW IM NOT STUPID!"

“SHUIR THIN’!” = "SURE THING!"

[prolix-yuy]

I adore your Sex Worker Frankie AU and I was wondering if you could walk us thru the timeline of when each story takes place. Thank you, and thank you for sharing this exquisite filth with us!

Ahhh Nicole, you've hit my weakness. My Achilles heel. The result of building a larger story out of a oneshot and needing to start grounding things in facts (don't worry, I still love that you asked!)

Because I am notoriously bad at timelines, I am going to commit and actually write this down!

So Something New is set post Triple Frontier, about a year after Colombia. In this AU the boys end up staying together instead of splitting at the end of the movie, though there probably was some time spent apart before things felt anything close to normal between them.

Some Other Night is about a month and a half after their "session." They've been seeing each other between the two stories, but this was a more significant weekend away.

Something More "starts" a few weeks after the second hotel weekend with the beginning of her repayment to Pope. I'd say that she was buying them drinks for about two months, and then the BBQ was about 4 months into their relationship.

Now for the tricky stuff - this is where I bit myself in my own behind by just throwing out rough timelines for things, but like I said, I'm committing!

Post-military service (and me assuming a roughly similar timeline for all of the boys getting released) is when they all began working for Pope. Benny would have started first, convinced Will, and then Frankie followed after Pope wheedled him for long enough. Tom wanted nothing to do with any of it.

The boys worked for Pope for about 3 years, and each peeled off somewhere in year 3. Frankie got canned for the coke, which also coincided with him losing his pilot's license.

This is when the (slightly augmented) events of the movie come back into play. Pope, even with his business, was still working as a military advisor and saw an opportunity for all of them to make some really significant money. He'd tried to help the boys before, but that was only a short-term fix. Here was an opportunity for something long-lasting.

We saw how that all went down.

Post Colombia, they returned without Tom and Frankie experienced a bad relapse. This is when he started going to therapy, and Will hooked him up with a mechanic's job. Like he said to Ms J, "since then it’s been…not exactly better, but easier?" And Ms J does make it easier for him many days.

I hope that helps! There are little moments that overlap and bleed into each other story-wise, but those are all the big touchstone moments. Thank you for the ask Nicole, and for motivating me to finally wrangle this timeline !

[milkybonya]

But as for my story oh my gosh it really is a story. My ult group is Kingdom! They're pretty small and just debuted last year so idk if you know them but they've got one of the most amazing concepts I've ever seen! I'd definitely check out their title tracks if you have time :) they just had a comeback on March 31 🤩 but anywaysssss I write on their fancafe twice a day! I send a message to all members in the morning with pictures of my gecko (he is my whole world so I am making him their whole world as well lol) and then in the night I write to one member. There are 7 members so each member has their own day of the week that I write to them :) Originally I was just going to write to my bias (Arthur!) but I had things I wanted to tell every member so I was like it's fine I'll just write them each once a week. So last week on Monday I wrote a letter to Louis as scheduled. Louis was my bias wrecker for the longest time but since this comeback I think I double bias 🥴 and this was the first letter I was sending him since their comeback came out so I was like ahh you did such a great job and I talked about what parts of his I liked the best and all that so the next day I wake up and see I have a notification on the fancafe and I was like 😳 no freaking way there's no way but milky I literally opened the message and there on my letter to LOUIS OKAY IT WAS MY LETTER TO LOUIS.. Arthur commented DNENJEJWNW I was like oh my god he knew I got bias wrecked and is trying to sabotage Louis jdjsjs on the man's own letter- the audacity jdjsjs but it was so weird like he did the menpa and commented on a bunch of messages addressed to him (as is expected) except for my random Louis letter. Idk if he got confused bc I put a blue heart in the title (it's my favorite color) and a lot of people have been doing that on posts to him bc he has blue hair rn but I mean in the title of the post I said Louis' name and I addressed the letter to Louis so basically idk what man was on when he decided to respond to it but regardless I'm so touched. This is the first time I've had like a real interaction with an idol before so I was over the moon especially because out of all 7 it was my bias! I do get kinda embarrassed when I think about it tho bc he read me being all simpy over Louis but 🥴🥴🥴 I'm thriving I really am we love that jfjejej Kingdom is chaos if you couldn't tell 🤩 anyways this message is so long now I really rambled there but I hope that was funny for you to read bc I laugh when I think about it lol not sure if I said it in the last message but hope you're having a good day/night! 💙 (oh and here is what he wrote! I usually tell them about my day and then comment on their performance/anything they've done or released since I last wrote)

KINGDOM WAHH I'VE BEEN MEANING TO LOOK INTO THEM ! their concept is so cool T.T

stop you give them so much love and that is so so cute??? to have a member to write to each day and everytHING AHH THATS SO WHOLESOME MY HEART IS WARM

WAIT HAHAHAAH ARTHUR REPLYING TO LOUIS'S LETTER,, omg that is so adorable T.T maybe he did get confused or maybe he??? jusT KNEW that you're starting to double bias?? he's like nuuu Kelsey don't go ! KDKSKSK omg i'm literally?!?!?!

the reply is so cute too im shedding so many tears rN SOBBINGGG aH you got the interaction you deserve 💟 the eay he thanked you for telling him about your daYY AHHH IM SOFT

[undeservedfavor]

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

St. Valentines Day [EN]: Chapter 2

Gisela almost jumped and screamed at the sight.

"Who are you?! What are you doing in my room, here in my bed?! What did you do to me?! Why can't I remember anything?!" She held her head due to headache.

"Don't scream, they might think that I'm doing something to you." He said.

"To a loser you shouldn't give a damn about... Yes, you already did something!" She tried to sit up but she did not succeed with her attempt.

She winced because of the pain she felt down there, tingling on her sensitive part.

He held her close and rubbed her back.

Like he's trying to calm her as she breathes in and out.

"Shh... That's it. Breathe. Tsk. Don't move so harshly, does it still hurt?" He asked.

She almost cried nodding to him.

"Can you stop breathing on my neck?! God. What a mess. So much for the freedom that I asked for." She uttered.

"We all search for freedom. Why do you look so sad? Tss, sorry, don't mind my question. I don't wanna intrude. By the way, nice place you got here. I haven't found a place yet, so I think I wanna stay here, even just for two or three weeks. You wouldn't mind, right? Since misery loves company, oh my bad, it's misery meets misery. Why do I get the feeling that we've met before?" The guy said.

"I don't even know you, you don't know me and what I'm going through! If you're gonna stay here, we have to set the boundaries and the rules." She reiterated.

"Shoot." He said.

"One, since I just bought this house and I'm struggling to survive the rest of my days on earth due to financial instability, you have to pay me rent. Two, no opening up or asking about 'too' personal details. Three, no more sexual activities with the landlady, last night was enough..." She stated.

"I think I can do number one and two, but I doubt that we both can resist number three, for we're still cuddling until now." He said and she moved away from him and covered her nudeness with the white blanket.

The man laughed a bit, which she found weirdly sexy.

When Gisela did not feel any pain anymore, she stood and wore her robe.

The man's smirking as he lit up a cigarette from the pocket of his jacket while his eyes are feasting on her features and curves.

She was about to enter the bathroom to clean herself up from the dried 'juices' stuck on her skin but she heard the doorbell rang from downstairs.

She walked downstairs and opened the door, she saw the old lady, Olivia...

"We're leaving for almost a month. I'm taking Larry to the city hospital which is really far from here, as the old man will prepare for his heart operation. We're taking our grandson with us, which means I will be leaving this beach to you. We're not locking it up unless it's night-time but... Can you look after it for us until we get back?" Old Olivia asked.

Gisela nodded.

"Yes, I'll pray for his speedy recovery. In this world, prayers are our sword for battle." She said and the old woman gave her the keys.

She went upstairs and she broke the news to the man who got her first.

"Who was that?" He was curious.

"The lady who sold me this house. Her entire family's going to tne city for almost a month. Which means, it's just you and me in this isolated island and damn life." She said.

"Which is good right, if you're in charge, we can do more public se-... S-sessions of swimming." The guy changed what he was about to say when the woman glared at him.

"You don't wanna be stuck with me in a place for a long time. No one does. I'm boring and worthless as hell." She said.

"I don't know, I find you exciting as hell. With that bod? There's no way that anyone doesn't wanna be stuck with you, I'd even probably prefer to be stuck in a manhole with you than not at all." She just rolled her eyes at his comment.

Then, she continued talking about the rules she thought just right about now.

Adding some things to it.

"As I was saying... Number four, you'll sleep on the couch downstairs and I sleep on my bed, here in my room. Don't dare to barge in here. This is not porn. Last and final rule, we don't have to know who we are." She said.

"I love the porn part but I was a bit confused on the last rule." She rolled her eyes at the hot naked guy on her bed.

"No names. We're gonna go separate ways anyway. You can call me Piggy and I can call you-...?" She said.

"Dinosaur. Don't look at me like that, isn't it obvious why based from what you just saw?" She glared at him.

"Kidding. I collect dinosaur figures back in the city. I'm a fan of Godzilla and Jurassic Park." She just nodded.

"Let's make it more exciting, if we found out each others' names, we part ways without a word. That's how pro one-night-standers do it." He said.

She shook her head smiling a little to him and entered the bathroom to shower.

Dorian followed her and she was shocked when he kissed her and lifted her to the bathtub...

Dorian opened the tap to fill it with water, he then poured soap in it and joined Gisela in a bubble bath as they do what they wanna finish doing...

They started living together.

The no sex rule was always being disobeyed by the male and the female was just letting him, like she had no choice for she also loved the relaxed feeling after the unexplainable and tiring skinship.

There was a time that when Dorian turned on the radio...

He heard his song played...

~I remember we were living like Kings and Queens

In the little tiny castle made of hopes and dreams

It was destiny

It was meant to be

We were so complete

The perfect team...

I always think about her (Aye)

Try to not overthink about her (Yeah)

I always dream about her (Uh, Uh)

Try not to dream about her (Oou)

I'm feeling so lost without her I try to come home

And it's so hard being out on my own

It breaks my heart to leave you alone

And that's all I get from you but I give my all to you

And that's all I hear from you

All dressed up nowhere to go

So I'm Dancing (Dancing)

On My Own

I've been waiting way too long (I don't want you dancing alone)

Dancing (Uh-huh)

On My Own

Play one more song (Play one more song)

Song (I'll be home)

Song But you're not coming (Yeah)

Song Song Song But you're not coming home

I told you I'll be home

I told you I'll be back (Play one more song 'til you g-...~

The song almost come to an end but Dorian turned it off when Gisela came out of the bathroom, because if Gisela, recognized his voice and knew who he was, it will be the end for them...

"Why have you turned it off? I was listening to the song... It's good..." She said.

"You know, you should re-think your taste when it comes to music." Dorian commented.

Gisela just shook her head, smiling.

They are getting to know each other more day by day but they still have not talked about why they ended up on the island...

On day, preparing brunch on the beach side, Piggy was sitting on the hammock while writing something on her notebook as Dinosaur is grilling fish for their meal.

Piggy was shocked as she heard a familiar voice alarmed.

"Ahhh!!!" Dinosaur winced in pain as he grabbed the neck of the snake who bit him and threw it on a far away bush.

He may not be showing it, but he's panicking.

Piggy ripped her skirt to get a piece of cloth and she tied a tight knot on the Dinosaur's ankle.

Piggy ran to the house and quickly came back with an alchohol, a clean knife, a roll of bandage and a cotton on her hands.

"I thought Dinosaurs are tougher than Pigs and Snakes. Then, why are you screaming like a girl? This is gonna hurt a bit but..." Piggy pierced the swollen wound.

Blurry liquid came out of his leg.

"Ahhh!!! Sh*t! Can you be more gentler as I was with you in bed?! Ouch!" He said shouting.

"Even your leg is filled with lust. It's wet and cumming. We're hopeless. You'll die in five minutes. Like me, alone, miserable and lonely." He glared at her for the comment.

"Kidding. Let the goner go, will you?" The woman said.

Dinosaur's eyes almost fell from it's sockets when Piggy put her mouth over the wound and sipped it thoroughly.

He almost drool over the sight.

Everytime her mouth is filled by the poison, she spits it out on the side.

When it was done, she cleaned the wound and replaced the cloth with a bandage.

"Where have you learned that?" The man asked.

"I was a nurse. A shitty one." She answered.

"Was. Why did you quit?" He asked.

"Can you stop being so nosy? Let the personal details go." The woman said she sat back on the hammock and continued to write on her notebook.

"What's that? I'm starting to get jealous with that notebook." He said.

She walked toward Dinosaur to ask for his opinion.

"Tell me what you think for a woman who's busy isolating and distancing herself from society?" She showed her writings to him.

"Without even reading this, I can say we're explicitly productive." The woman just glared at him for what he said.

Then, he read the book seriously.

"Writing strory scripts eh? This is good and intense but... I think it will suffice for the readers. Try to write about us next time. Is this why you quit? For the so called "Absolute Dream'?!" He overreacted his expression on the last sentence with his arm streched out high pointing at the sky.

"You talk a lot. How about you go back to the house and I'll bring the fish to you. And I thought I saw a Spiderwisp plant near our house's front yard. I'll go get some to treat the snakebite. Don't look at me like that... Unlike other things, just be thankful that it can be treated." She ordered the man.

Even if it's against his will, he just followed what she said...

[i-cant-sing]

Ahhh thanks for the tag Bee! This took me all day because I didn't know who to pick between Bakugo, Dabi, Enji, Ushijima and Jason Todd. Maybe I'll write some lovey dovey stuff for the rest of them because I'm sad now 😭

I selfship myself with... Bakugo?

how long have you and your selfship been together?

Hm, I'd say we've been friends since we were kids, but started dating a little after we got into UA. So, I think 7 years.

how did you guys get together?

Like I said, childhood friends, but we got together after the UA sports festival. Did he beat me or did I go easy on him? Can't really remember.

who said i love you first?

Verbally? I said it first, but Katsuki's likes to express his love through his actions, little gestures like cooking me lunch, letting me sleep on his shoulder/lap, sharing headphones, etc. But when I did say it, he was quite flustered, he even yelled at me at how blunt and bold I could be, but I know his heart skips a beat every time I say the 3 magic words.

if you could pick a date for your anniversary, what would it be and why?

10 January, the weathers quite nice that time, a little cold and right after the holidays so we can just stay snuggled up in bed.

ideal/go to date with your selfship

Somewhere private, so that we could be ourselves with each other. I like picnics, late night drives, even staying in and watching Netflix, just as long as its just the two of us away from prying eyes.

what does your morning routine together look like?

Katsuki is a morning person and he likes to get up as early as possible to get a headstart on the day. However, since he's begun dating me, he knows I won't let him go until he cuddles me for at least half an hour, stroking my hair and kissing my cheeks, whispering to let him go and shower. Then when I finally wake up, he pulls me to the bathroom. He begins showering while I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth before leaving, placing his costume on the bed.

He comes down and smiles seeing me make him breakfast, placing his chin on my shoulder as he hugs me from the back. We quietly eat breakfast, enjoying the comfortable silence. If he's wearing office clothes, then he'll hoist me up on the countertop and hand me his tie. I'll tie it around his neck, not oblivious to his loving gaze. Once I'm done, he'll pull me by my neck and kiss me deeply, almost as if he's afraid that this might be the last time we get to. I walk him to the door and he'll peck my cheeks one more time, grumbling "I love you" under his breath.

favourite thing your selfship would do for you

There's too many, but my favourite is when he makes me food after an argument, as a way of saying "I'm sorry. I don't like to fight with you, can we get over this." Or how he still pulls me to his chest in bed after we fought, pressing a kiss to the back of head when he thinks I'm asleep.

would you guys get married/have kids?

YES! He's definitely in love with me, wouldn't have dated me if he didn't plan on getting married. And of course he wants kids, he wants his own little army of brats and devils spawns that he could use to terrorise Izuku. Would hate it if they ended up liking stupid Deku. But Katsuki would definitely be the best dad, spoiling his kids to no limit.

song lyric/quote that summarises your relationship

I don't know the source, but this:

"You still ask me about the day of my birth

So write down what you don't know

The day you declared your love

Is the day of my birth"

your favourite headcanon you have of you and your selfship

He's always touching me in some way, whether its hand holding, him resting his chin on my shoulders or resting his hand on my hips. Even when we're sleeping, he likes to drape half his body over me, trapping me with his head on my chest and his muscular thighs over my own. Goes into euphoria when I begin scratching his scalo with a light touch or twirl his hair around my fingers, humming softly. But he likes to pretend as if he doesn't melt in my touch.

Also gets pouty and would manhandle me and throw me over his shoulders if I am not giving him attention.

I'll be tagging: @seiyasabi @the-grimm-writer @implexedactions and whoever wants to join!

starting a new tag game besties !! let’s learn about your selfships and fictional ones!!!

we’ll do the relationship tag!!! there’s a few questions so feel free to go all out and gush about your selfship baby, be self indulgent!! this might get long so imma put it under the read more but anyone can join, have fun n tag your mooties uwu!! i’ll go first <3

Keep reading

[cloudyyangel]

from what you've written so far i think you have really stellar characterization! and one way i got over my fear of posting is just thinking of all fanfic being ooc in some regard, so it alleviates some of the pressure to write someone "perfectly" especially a popular character :o

eee i'd love some hugs nd kisses from youuuu (*´▽｀*) and omg are you after my heart or what!! i love both those games so much, da:i is one of my top five comfort games aaah who's your fav person to romance, if you romance anyone at all?

i'm not the best at pvp games but we could duo in fortnite i don't mind hehe (ෆ’∀’ෆ) and having our own minecraft world sounds nice too ♡

i also live in an extremely hot place! i think it's been in the hundreds for at least a week, and so humid ack (｡•́︿•̀｡) but i've been staying indoors and drinking water! one of the few good things abt being unemployed is not having to go out in the heat jvhsbdkvshc

- 🍧 sorry i'm such a chatterbox ifbshkdjn i hope i'm not a bother!

Ahhh (*'∀'*) thank you haha I definitely don’t worry about making people ooc when I’m writing but when I think about posting it then I’m like “...ouhhh”. Because I know how this fandom is sometimes and I just don’t wanna deal with that haha. But like, I also posted subby, whiny overhaul so 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I totally headcannon certain characters a lot differently than most.

You can have all the hugs and kisses you want princess~ I just wanna pepper sweet little kisses all over your forehead and cheeks until you’re a blushy little mess. Then wanna wrap you up in my arms and pull you reallllll close to me and tuck you into my chest and play with your hair (灬ºωº灬)♡

Ahh!!! AHHH!!! SAME. I love da:I so so much. I play it over and over again. (Also fallout 4 ehehe). I actually started a new character last night and played alll night until I got to Skyhold! Uhhh. Who I romance? Oh no. Oh noooo. Okay okay don’t judge me but the first time playing...I romanced Solas. And then cried when he dumped me (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ AND THEN I romanced Cullen because he’s a broken little boy. And then Iron Bull because he big and tough ehehehe. But I do tend to romance Cullen a lot because I like playing as a mage and he has interesting extra dialogue with them. I mostly play as an elf though because it’s cute when an elf and Iron Bull get together (BUT THEN Solas is only romance-able as an elf so it’s like...must resist bald egg...). I try to romance everyone but uh...I definitely default to either Cullen or Iron Bull. Pls baby you’ve unlocked my rambling topic I’m sooo sorry this is embarrassingly long (*/▽＼*) please tell me who you romance! And who do you tend to play as? I like being a rogue elf or human mage!

The hundreds??? Ughhh no way today it was 96 here and also humid rip to us. I’m currently in the southern US but I wanna move somewhere north where there’s mountains and cold weather. Or the coast. I love the ocean 🌊 I’m technically unemployed right now too- I just finished my teaching job about two weeks ago and now I’m doing random online jobs. But I just sit inside on my computer in front of the fan with ice cold water haha (* >ω<)

[myvelouri]

Did I write about Sam? I think so, yeah she said she appreciates me, and it took her a while to warm up to me

She even asked if I was off tomorrow and said to come in and dab with her lol, which I think means smoke a blunt but yeah. She was really treating me like a whole full human being.

I think cause, well, she's the waitress that works there but she surprised us at Whataburger cause she saw me Ronnie and Hector chillin there. She freaked me out lol. But she saw me get some customers at the bar treating me with racism or sometimes calling me gay. I don't know if that's what did it but she thought of me as so sweet now. Cause even during the fight I accidentally dropped the drink on her she was trying to serve. It's okay, it was riled up and a lot of people. I grabbed onto her and told her to stop me. And I remember that. After it ended I went up to her alone and said "hey, I'm sorry I dropped that on you, I.." and she cut me off and said "omg you're so sweet, no, it's totally fine" and I said "okay" and walked away.

It was a wild night, that one.

But yeah so I did go see Sam the day after but she was busy at work. She didn't smoke with me at all. She was tired I suppose. Idk though. It's okay

I mean people do that. Ronnie said he was gonna text me to hang tonight but he didn't. So I know people do that, you know?

I love Ronnie. He actually told me "I was going to jump into that fight if that guy started hitting only you" and I was like wow I love you man. Idk how we got to be decent friends but I appreciate him

I'm a mostly loving and trusting person and no one sees that right away (anymore) because I look a certain way I assume.

Okay anyway, back to that night at Whataburger. She like surprised us. Hector and Ronnie left. That one dude working at Whataburger tried to get with Sam so much that Sam asked me to sneak her out. Lmao we did when the guy wasn't looking but we also refilled our drinks LOL. Omfg she was saying I should work with her, she was saying she's emo as fuck too. I am actually able to talk to her for a long time. Good chemistry. She a goof. Omfg right, she has a very goth name, it's so pretty, ffs her name is "Raven" and her last name is equally as goth. And she was telling Ronnie and Hector (before they left) how someone said something she LOVED which was "they said my name is like, um, those books," and I said "lmao SOMEBODY? girl, I said that hahahahaha" "fuckin, 'somebody'" and I was teasing her, like, it was really funny hahaha. And the book series was "a series of unfortunate events" yeah, Sam is very baudelaire. I'm somewhat well cultured and I knew other thing she has with her that one time. Like I said, I gave good Chemistry with her. And now she's open to me. I can't believe that happened. At the same time I'm really sad that this whooooole time I knew her she didn't really like me, up until now. I guess... I guess it took her a while to get to know me just by watching me at the bar and seeing me deal with many situations. As well as being sweet to her most of the time. I don't know. I joke with her a lot too, I tease her. I did this knowing that she wasn't into me. I just liked her as a friend I get to be goofy with. You have to realize I grew up like this, being the funny one, being the goofy asshole with many friends and girls, just having a good ass time laughing. I'm very fun! And so, yeah man, I liked messing with her. So I'm sad that she didn't like me right away like people used to. I don't know. I think my appearance is different and causing some issues here. I used to be more adorable. It is confusing to explain. It would take long so I won't do it here right now.

But yeah me and Sam escaped Whataburger and talked in the parking lot forever. She said the fact that she's asking if I'm off tomorrow or actually trying means that she sees me as someone real, and said she appreciates me. It warms my heart. But I selfishly am still bitter that I wasn't appreciated earlier? Not in regards to her specifically, but that this has been happening to me a lot recently? Ppl not liking me and shit? So yeah, she warmed my heart a lot. I told her "wow, well I'm glad you see that now, a lot of people don't see that in me anymore" she thinks I'm really sweet.

I don't know. During that fight at the bar with the homophobia piece of shit, I bumped into her and was still able to have clarity even in my drunkenness to aid her immediately, and I became soft so quick and said "I'm so sorry Sam, are you okay? I didn't mean to touch you there, I didn't mean to drop that on you" i forgot to mention that when that happened, and I had her hold me, because of the bar fight I was in, that I accidentally also grabbed her breast, not grab, it wasn't on purpose, I was riled up, wasn't even LOOKING, I thought it was her torso or arm, because I trust her you know? And yes after I did that I immediately said omg I'm.so sorry I didn't mean to touch you there... She understood completely.

And also as we joked while in Whataburger before we left, or escaped hahaha, I said "okay let's go babe" and I quickly laughed and said "lol wtf I just called you babe" and she laughed, and she was into that too. Can't remember her joke but she played along hahaha maybe called me honey or something. Fucking dork, lol.

I think it's so funny that she ran into us at Whataburger. Perfect timing. Cause me Ronnie, and Hector were at Steve's place smoking and drinking. For a whiiiiile. And we got hungry so we left to eat. What were the odds Sam was driving by Whataburger that moment we were inside already. And she saw us. Yeah haha she said she saw us so solhe decided to come in

I should ask her if she wants to watch the joker with me. I'd like to see it with somebody

I showed her the kitten I rescued! She knows about it all. She helped me out by telling me stuff about it

Ahhh

Yeah guys the girl who's snap I got last night? Yeah she uh, never added me back. That's another L for me.

I'm not weird or creepy. I don't know why I think that. Maybe I am now. I just want to die. This is all so much and this ain't even half of what I deal with. There's shit I deal with so heavy that I don't even post here. I mainly post about relationships and friendships here along with dealing with that while having depression.

But I'm not okay. I hate myself but I love myself, but I dislike myself a lot more. The parts I love, I wish were more amplified..

I need money. I should just call into work tomorrow

I'll be in bed all night tonight, listening to music

Idk why that girl never added me back. She told me she was gonna just chill all day today too. And I told her that's totally fine, we can do something anytime. It's nice to meet you, REALLY love your style!

And the way she looked at me with those "I think you're so fucking cute" eyes confused me. Usually you can tell you know? I can always tell when a girl thinks I'm cute. But I've been off now. So off. Literally no girl likes me anymore

I think I've become old and ugly

Lonely, weird and lost.

I miss many things from life. I want many things too. I still do. If not, then I just want death. Being alive while wanting things so badly and never getting them is torture... Especially when the things you desire are things that everyone already has and takes for granted. You don't know, you just don't know

I'm so hurt that this is my life

I don't think I deserved this... I don't think anyone deserved this