#ahh i love them... i miss them so much i wish i was w them rn i dont want to sleep alone w/o them...

[phagodyke]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[taexual]

sleepwalking ● 9 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, mutual pining, angst, SLOOOWW BUURNNN

words: 9.9k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 9 ► the silence is one thing that i’ll remember you said. well, it’s better than nothing when nothing’s all that you left

The next morning was warm.

It was such a stark contrast to last night that you couldn’t help but still feel phantom shivers on your skin when you got off the bus to stretch your legs. It was still two more hours to Oslo, and it was unreasonably early to be awake, considering you did not return to the bus until sunrise—a mere half an hour before the scheduled departure for Norway.

Everyone else was still asleep, which made sense: they must have returned to the bus sometime very late, too. Granted, when you and Jungkook reached the restaurant on Strandvägen yesterday, your team was no longer there—but that didn’t mean they went to sleep as soon as they returned.

To be fair, you hadn’t expected to find them at the restaurant anyway. But after the abrupt end of your conversation with Jungkook on the bridge, you had hoped for a distraction. Something to take your mind off the uncomfortable gaping hole inside you.

Jungkook had suggested last night that you take a taxi back to the tour bus, and you were almost ready to walk back on your own.

It confused you—this unexpected longing for something you dared not name—but it also frightened you. Therefore, you were glad that when the bus reached Oslo, Jungkook was still asleep.

You felt like you needed a minute—to convince yourself that whatever you thought you’d felt in the air last night was more wishful thinking than anything else. Because here’s the thing about wishful thinking: it was yours. And everything that was yours, you could extinguish. You could put it out like you’d done countless times before.

So, several hours later in Oslo, you gave Yoongi very strict instructions to keep the band close and make sure they rested before tomorrow’s performance. And then you took your girls to explore the city, sightsee and drink as much coffee as you could find.

Unfortunately for Jungkook, sightseeing was something he also wanted to do with you once you arrived in Oslo. He had a lot to tell you; he knew he owed you an explanation. He just wasn’t sure how to explain what had happened, let alone what hadn’t happened.

But when he woke up on the bus, you had already left, taking Maggie and Luna with you. So, not only did he have to wallow in his thoughts, but he also had to deal with a sulking Taehyung, who never openly admitted why he was sulking, but it was obvious enough. Even though he texted Luna all day, she wasn’t physically there with him, and that wasn’t enough.

Jungkook was annoyed. He should have seen this coming—he tended to sleep in while you tended to not—but he realised he had expected you to stay. He’d expected a reaction. Perhaps he’d hoped you would demand that he explained himself and why the two of you had gone from I-miss-you to let’s-walk-and-not-look-at-each-other.

Your reaction, however, was no reaction at all.

You and the girls went out, which for the three of you, meant getting ice cream and walking the city streets until you found something interesting. Sometimes this took up the whole day. You loved it—especially today.

But then, just as you were approaching what looked like a castle with crowds of tourists flocking to it—Luna discovered it was the Royal Palace, which should have been obvious, but you and Maggie still ooh-ed and ahh-ed at Luna’s Google Maps skills—your phone started to ring.

Licking your ice cream hurriedly so it wouldn’t melt completely while you talked, you walked away from the girls to take the call.

You were half-expecting an emergency, but before you could really be disappointed that you had to end your excursion, you noticed the unknown number on the screen of your phone. You briefly considered not answering, but you saw that the number had an area code from home.

You thought it might be your brother calling. Once again, you considered not answering, still angry at him for his recklessness and your mum’s tears. But responsibility won over, and you picked up.

On the other end of the line was a man asking for you. For a moment, you were confused, because the voice sounded familiar, but the owner of it didn’t seem to know who he was talking to.

“This is she,” you responded to your own name. “May I ask who’s calling?”

“Oh, you sound so different for some reaso—it’s Nick,” the man said, and you stopped chewing on the waffle cone of your ice cream in surprise.

Nick Zhou had been your supervisor after you graduated and started to work at the company where you now managed Rated Riot. Back then, you were just an intern before being promoted to assistant manager for an indie rock band with the ominous name The Jungle Will Get You, when you were only 23 years old. Nick was their manager then, and he never admitted it, but you knew he’d pulled some strings to get you that job.

A little over a year later, you took over the management of Rated Riot, and you haven’t spoken to Nick since. He went on to manage Reconnaissance, one of the biggest alternative rock bands in the country, if not the world. Just being their manager made Nick more popular than Rated Riot at the moment.

You thought things had worked out well for you both, so there was simply no reason for you to stay in touch.

You figured the reason he was calling you now had to mean good things for Rated Riot. Supporting Reconnaissance on tour? Perhaps a collaboration?

“Nick!” was the first word out of your mouth after the surprise had subsided. “So nice to hear from you again.”

“I heard you were in Europe? That’s huge!” he said, which was kind of him, because Reconnaissance were selling out stadiums.

“We are, yeah. Oslo right now,” you said, smiling at Maggie, who approached you and tugged on your arm like a toddler wanting to go on a ride at an amusement park. Except in this case, the ‘ride’ was a wine bar down the street from the palace. You nodded, and that was permission enough for her to jog over to Luna and drag the two of you towards the bar, never mind that it was 3 PM. You said into the phone, “how are you? You’re going to Australia soon, right?”

“Next week, yeah,” Nick said. “The new album’s coming shortly after that.”

“Ah, another tour,” you said with a teasing chuckle—you knew how much Nick hated flying. Even the Reconnaissance members talked about their ‘air-sick manager’ in almost every interview they did. “Good luck in advance!”

Nick chortled in irony. “Thanks, I’m going to need it. That’s actually, uh, the reason I’m calling.”

Your heart rate picked up as the ice cream melted in your hand. “Yeah?”

“Yes. See, we had some—er, situations,” he paused here as if searching for a better word. After he didn’t find one, he continued with the one he had picked, “and because of these situations, I’m putting together a new team. With the new album coming out soon, we’re on a really tight schedule.”

“Right,” you said. You could already hear him asking if Rated Riot would like to be the supporting act, and maybe even participate in Reconnaissance’s new album.

“Well, that’s why I’m calling you,” he said. “The management here is just me and this guy, Mark, who can’t dial a phone number to save his life, but he’s a great sport. Keeps the band alive. But I need more people. Preferably someone with, uh, experience.”

He paused meaningfully, but it still took you a minute to realise that he hadn’t contacted you about Rated Riot. He had contacted you about you.

You watched Maggie and Luna enter the wine bar, take your ice cream from you, and make a beeline for the cash register, all while you stood in the doorway.

“I’m—uh—Nick.” There was an uncomfortable lump of surprise in your throat. Your hands felt sticky and your mouth felt dry.  “I’m—I manage Rated Riot.”

“I know,” he said, “and they’re a very promising band, tons of potential,” he paused here, hesitating, “but I thought—well, this is sort of different, isn’t it?”

You would have scoffed if you weren’t so stunned. “Well, of course.”

“Yeah. So, I just—we need an assistant manager. Fast,” Nick said. “And you were the first person I thought of. I mean, we’ve worked together before. I know your strengths and I admire your work ethic. I think you’d be a great addition to our team.”

Overwhelmed, you barely managed to find your words. “I… appreciate the offer. But I don’t think I can just—”

“Think about it, okay?” he interrupted you, aware of the abruptness and sheer mass of this offer. “We’ll be back from Australia next month, so you don’t need to give me an answer right away. Just—the sooner the better, of course. But you can think about it. I just wanted to let you know that I have an opening, and I’d love it if you joined us.”

“I—okay.” The faint smell of grapes and old wood around the wine bar seemed to grow stronger the longer that you stood here, still frozen. “Thank you, Nick.”

“I’ll be waiting to hear from you,” he said. “Take care, yeah?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, you too. Thanks again.”

The three beeps after he ended the call reverberated in your head, and it was another half-minute before you moved the phone from your ear. You looked at it in disbelief, as if it had been someone else who’d just had this conversation, and you had merely overheard it.

In an attempt to ground yourself, you tried to simplify your loud thoughts into whispers of an adequate noise.

There was an opening to be Reconnaissance’s assistant manager.

You’d have to take a step back, do more mundane tasks, similar to the ones you did back when you were Nick’s assistant that first time. But if you said yes, you’d be working with one of the biggest bands in the world right now.

But you couldn’t leave Rated Riot. You were their manager. You believed in them, and you loved everyone on this team.

“You look like you just found out Santa isn’t real,” Maggie’s voice brought you back to the present. She had come to get you, so you’d stop blocking the entrance for others. “Who was that?”

You still felt very hot and half-choked, so you tried to loosen the collar of your white tank top. The denim jacket you wore over it didn’t help much with the heat inside of you, either.

“Um,” you looked around as you slipped out of your jacket. “Can we get some wine first?”

Maggie raised her eyebrows. “Oh, it’s like that, is it?”

You nodded, and before you could give a verbal response, Maggie was already calling out to your friend, who was about to place her order, “Luna! Grab some doubles! We have something going on.”

It took the girls about two minutes to find a table—granted, a couple of tourists who saw Maggie dragging you through the wine bar while you were trying to regain proper consciousness got scared and left, which helped a lot—and settle down.

As soon as you took the first sip, catching the rich and savoury taste—perhaps a bit too savoury; it immediately made you scrunch your nose—Luna scooted closer to you on the navy-coloured velvet couch.

“What happened?” she asked. “Who was that on the phone?”

You set your glass down. “That was Nick. My former supervisor. Before I started to work with Rated Riot. He, um—he manages Reconnaissance.”

“Oh, shit!” Maggie exclaimed at the same time as Luna muttered, “I don’t really know them.”

“Oh!” Maggie gasped, turning to Luna. “Wait. Weren’t you at their show a few days ago? I saw on your Instagram.”

“Yeah, Taehyung took me. He brought me to the after-party, too, but—” she paused as she noticed that Maggie’s eyes looked ready to pop out. She explained, “oh, that was just to babysit Jungkook. He’s the one who really listens to Reconnaissance. I don’t know any of their songs. They sounded good, but I’m—”

“Oh my God!” Maggie gasped again. She had glitter in her eyes and all over her face. “Wait until we get back on the bus! I probably have five different notebooks full of their song lyrics. You’ll love them.”

Luna nodded her head once, then paused in the middle of the second nod. “Wait, you brought those notebooks on tour? Aren’t they heavy?”

“Kind of. But I like to have them with me. And I keep adding to them, so—” Maggie stopped when you picked up your glass again. Your movement seemed to remind her what the topic was before she digressed. She leaned back in her bright yellow armchair. “—which is not the point. So, what did that guy want? Nick.”

Both girls turned their attention back to you.

You took another sip of your wine and said, “well, I thought he wanted Rated Riot.”

Swirling her glass, Luna asked, “he didn’t?”

“He didn’t,” you confirmed. “Apparently, he wants me.”

Luna was the first to understand the implication as her eyebrows lifted and her chin dropped. Maggie, on the other hand, looked at Luna, and then back at you.

“Like… to work with him?” she asked. “To manage Reconnaissance?”

“Well, obviously not to perform with them on stage,” Luna said to her impatiently, then turned back to you. “Why does he want you?”

“He said he needed to find an assistant manager quickly,” you explained, “and since he knows me, he thought I’d be... suitable. For that job.”

You didn’t know what words to choose so you wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable talking about this. And, as you sat here with your friends and your glass of wine, you realised that a part of you didn’t believe you were even ready to work with someone like Reconnaissance. For the most part, you were terrified of it.

You hoped Rated Riot would reach their level one day, that’s true. But starting to work with a band that was already so outrageously popular felt a bit like being thrown into a pot of boiling water.

“Well, what did you say?” Maggie asked.

“I said no,” you replied, your vision blurring again. “I think.”

The two girls spoke up at the same time.

Luna repeated, “you think?” while Maggie asked, “why not?”

They exchanged a look – Maggie, surprised; Luna, slightly accusing.

“What?” Maggie said in response to her look. “This is big!” She put down her glass and leaned over to touch your knee, wanting to emphasise her point, “I love you, okay? And I love working with you and everyone else here, and I know you do, too. But this is just… huge.”

“I know,” you said, your gaze still wandering along the tiled wall behind Maggie’s armchair. You felt disoriented and the wine had very little to do with it. “But I—I mean, I can’t just leave.”

“I think you should talk to the guys,” Luna suggested. She managed to come to terms with the heaviness of the offer that Nick had made much faster than you did. It helped, of course, that she wasn’t the one who had to make a decision here, but she was making a reasonable point regardless.

“Yeah,” Maggie agreed, pointing at the girl on the couch next to you, and nodding eagerly at you. “Yeah. You should.”

You looked at both of them, then down at your glass, as if you could take a sip and it’d give you very clear directions of what to do next.

“But what can I say to them?” you asked. Then, in a voice meaning to imitate yourself, you said, “‘I might have an opportunity to leave you and work with a much bigger band.’ No. No, I don’t think so.”

Maggie squinted at you, unsure if she was the only one confused again. She asked carefully, “you… don’t think you’ll tell them this? Or you don’t think you’ll work with Reconnaissance?”

You finished your wine and set the glass back on the tray. The other girls’ glasses were still half-full.

“Neither, probably,” you replied. “I’d be—you know. If I went to work with Nick, I’d be fetching coffee for the other staff members and filling out paperwork. I already do that for Rated Riot anyway, but I don’t mind, because I don’t think we’re at a level where I’d need an assistant. But I—I want to reach that level with them. I want to be here every step of the way.”

If you’d lifted your eyes from the table in front of you, you would have seen the soft smile on Luna’s face. Instead, you heard it in her voice when she said, “that makes sense.”

Finally, you looked at her. “It does?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh, I think you should sleep on it,” Maggie said, a different voice of reason. “Make sure this isn’t something you’ll regret later. Oh!” she clapped her hands. “You can even make a pros and cons list!”

You smiled while Luna snickered. She said to you, “pro: obviously, you wouldn’t be managing your ex-boyfriend—”

“Um?” Maggie cut in. “Con: you wouldn’t be managing your ex-boyfriend.”

Luna frowned at her. “How is that a con?”

Maggie raised her eyebrows. “Have you seen her ex-boyfriend?”

Luna’s frown dissipated as she laughed, and even you chuckled, too.

In her whole life, Maggie might have had one and a half doubts about not actually being gay; she was simply an artist to the core. And she was very vocal about how unbelievably easy it was to photograph Jungkook when he was on stage. He was, in a truly annoying way, effortlessly photogenic.

“I guess that’s a pro and a con,” you said. There was a lingering smile on your face—this time, the wine did have something to do with it.

When paired with the sudden anxiety of Nick’s offer, the wine helped you distance yourself from the last conversation you’d had with Jungkook. And maybe it was better, you decided, that your friends didn’t know about the walk you two had taken. You preferred the conversation as it was now — cosy, safe, and almost buoyant.

“Is there a time limit?” Luna asked suddenly. “Did Nick tell you a date?”

“No,” you said with a sigh. “He said he wanted an answer soon. So I don’t have to decide right this second. But I’m not really considering it, to be honest. It’s a great opportunity, sure, but I think working with Rated Riot is a great opportunity, too.”

Both girls nodded in unison, their expressions brightening. Slowly, as you felt the support in their warm gazes, the atmosphere in the wine bar began to lighten, too. They understood. And they agreed with your point.

Luna teased, “does the band pay you extra when you say nice things about them? Because I really love Rated Riot.”

You chuckled. “I wish they did.”

Maggie lifted her glass. “Be careful. If you start complimenting them to their faces, it’ll go straight to their heads. And then we’ll have to give their shows an R rating.”

“Well, that would help them live up to their name,” Luna pointed out and the three of you burst into a fit of giggles again—partially because of the wine, but in your case also because of relief.

Nick’s offer and the confusing feelings from last night did not seem all that troublesome at the moment. You could almost forget about them, focusing only on the way things were right now.

You were happy like this. You didn’t want anything to change.

As dusk fell, Jungkook began to hover his finger over your name in his contact list. Just then, Sid burst into the otherwise empty bus and slammed the door with so much force that the whole vehicle swayed a little.

Startled, Jungkook looked up.

“Dude!” he called out, poking his head out of his bunk to see his friend’s proud face. “Gentle.”

“I have the best plans for us tonight,” Sid said as if he hadn’t heard him. “You will not believe the kind of bars they have here in Norway.”

Although Jungkook doubted that the bars here were any different from the ones back home, he still climbed out of the bunk, more intrigued by the idea of having company than by the supposed uniqueness of Norwegian bars. “Yeah?”

Sid’s smile grew wider still when he saw the same reaction mirrored on Jungkook’s face.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Let’s go.”

Jungkook hesitated. He had told you last night that things wouldn’t be the same between him and Sid when they returned home. And he meant it; he would have preferred to spend time with you—right now and back home. But you weren’t here, and while he was waiting for you, everyone else made different plans. Even Taehyung. And Jungkook hated being alone.

Grabbing his jacket, he climbed out of the bunk and allowed Sid to lead him outside, where the rest of their friends were already waiting.

They were like a herd of sheep, Jungkook thought unexpectedly while Sid ushered him out of the bus, the way they followed Sid. Why didn’t they ever protest or suggest their own ideas?

But as he looked at his friends – Jude and Minjun fighting over something on Jude’s phone, shoving the device in each other’s faces and shouting; Sid smacking them both on the backs of their heads, providing his own wisdom to their argument – he knew.

They stayed quiet, because the four of them were always together in the same way: with Sid in the lead, and the others following behind him. That’s the way it has always been. Jungkook knew that if one of them had a genuine problem with this, he would not be taken seriously. Or it would be the last time he could call them friends.

It was either this, or nothing at all.

That night, the four of them ended up in a cocktail bar in Oslo, a significant distance away from the tour bus and the rest of the crew. Jungkook didn’t understand why Sid had chosen this particular place until his friend winked and gestured towards the stairs leading to the basement.

“What’s down there?” Jungkook was dumb enough to ask.

Grateful for the chance to show off, Sid grinned and draped an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders as he led him—along with Jude and Minjun, who were looking around like this was a zoo—to the basement.

“Only the greatest thing to come out of Europe,” Sid explained. “You can thank me later.”

He didn’t.

It was an underground burlesque club with only three dancers, all of whom appeared so intimidating that Jungkook was convinced they could stab the four of them with their nails alone, if any of the boys looked them in the eye for too long. He didn’t dare to try.

Sid loved it.

Jungkook preferred the bar upstairs.

Minjun seemed to agree, so the two went back up for another round, while Jude stayed back. Despite occasionally acting like he hated Sid’s guts, Jude always stayed close to him, almost like an addict, who knew that this drug was bad for him, but still couldn’t break the habit.

“Do you think they’ll make it out alive?” Minjun asked as they waited for their drinks at the bar.

“I don’t think they’re getting out at all,” Jungkook replied. “It’s like siren screams for Sid.”

“That’s true. And if Sid stays, Jude stays.”

Jungkook nodded, his expression grim.

“So, D-11,” Minjun said. It took Jungkook a second to realise that he was counting down the days to the end of the bet. “How’s it going?”

He gave his friend a look. “I’m in a bar with you. How do you think it’s going?”

Minjun smiled and nodded to the bartender to thank him for bringing the drinks. Then he held his glass out to Jungkook.

“A toast,” he declared. Jungkook rolled his eyes and picked up his own glass. “May you win this bet, because Sid on a motorcycle is a menace I want nothing to do with.”

Snorting, Jungkook clinked his glass against his and they both downed their drinks in several big gulps.

“He’s not getting the bike,” Jungkook said, setting his glass down with new-found determination. Hearing Minjun mention the possibility of Sid winning the Katana made it feel more realistic. He had to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Do you need my help?” Minjun asked as if reading his mind.

Jungkook looked up from the bar top. “You couldn’t help even if I asked. We signed an agreement that we wouldn’t tell her.”

“You and Sid signed it,” Minjun pointed out. “I was just the person who typed it all out in my fucking Notes. I’m not legally bound to abide by the conditions of the deal. And, actually, neither are you. It’s just a—”

“Why would you help me?” Jungkook interrupted. His friend’s final sentences had evidently flown over his head. “I’ve hardly got anything to offer you in return.”

Minjun shrugged. “I just don’t want Sid to win.”

Jungkook swallowed. He found himself hoping, suddenly, that there was more to this. That if he really kicked Sid off the tour and out of his life, there would at least be one person who wouldn’t leave with him. One person who would stay.

“I don’t know what you could do,” Jungkook said. “Putting in a good word for me probably wouldn’t do much.”

“No?” his friend said, then looked down at his glass thoughtfully. “Okay. We can go full mentalist on her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Dropping certain objects in her living space that leave imprints of you in her subconscious,” Minjun said completely seriously. “It’s simple.”

“Dude.” Jungkook blinked. “I don’t know where this—this Sherlockian shit is coming from, but I’m not going to mess with her head.”

Minjun was about to scoff, but held back because the offence on Jungkook’s face at the—apparently, preposterous—suggestion seemed genuine. As if Minjun didn’t know what he was saying. As if this was serious, and Jungkook didn’t want to ruin it by playing games.

Minjun pointed out, “but you already are messing with her head.”

If possible, Jungkook looked even more appalled. “I’m—that’s not what I’m doing.”

“Then what’s the difference between what you’re doing and what I’m suggesting?”

“Well, I’m not trying to—I’m not sneaking around and forcing her to think about me,” Jungkook said, looking away from his friend and meeting the bartender’s gaze. He nodded, and the man behind the bar approached the two friends with a bottle of whiskey.

“It’s not force, technically,” Minjun explained as they watched the bartender refill their drinks. “It’s just how your brain works. You see something that reminds you of someone, and it sticks with you whether you’re aware of it or not.”

“I’d like for that to happen naturally,” Jungkook said, aware that he was the naïve one here. But he liked to think of it as hope. And he had that right—he was the only one who really knew you. The only one who could guess whether you were thinking about him or not.

Minjun shrugged and picked up his glass as soon as it was filled. “It’s your call. I’m just trying to speed up the process.”

Jungkook brought his own drink to his lips, but paused when Minjun spoke up again.

“Let me ask you something, though,” he said. “Before you get too far ahead of yourself.”

Even before he heard the question, Jungkook already felt queasy. “What is it?”

“Do you genuinely want to get back together with her?” Minjun asked.

There seemed to be no ill intentions behind the question, but Jungkook spent a full minute watching him and reading his expression.

Minjun was quick to notice his uncertainty. He reassured, “I’m asking because I care. Not because I want to make fun of you. I know you love her, but this—well, I’m just wondering if you want to act on these feelings.”

Jungkook looked down again. “Yeah, uh, I do. It’s not just about the bet for me.”

Minjun had suspected as much, so he wanted to broach the subject when no one else was around.

“But you still think making a bet out of it is the way to go?” he inquired.

Jungkook knew where this was going. And he still tried to appear nonchalant.

“I mean, I’m in this mess anyway, so why not actually win this?” he replied with a laid-back shrug that was so laid-back, it only amplified the fact that it was not laid-back at all.

“Jungkook,” Minjun said, startling him. Normally, the four of them addressed each other as ‘dude’ or the occasional ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’. Hearing his name felt strange, almost foreboding.

“There’s so many reasons why not,” Minjun continued. “The most important one being that you come out of this as a winner twice. You get her and you get the bike. But all she gets is the realisation that someone she’s letting back into her life has lied to her.”

Defensively, Jungkook demanded, “when did I lie?”

“You’re getting back together with her because of the bet!”

“It’s not because of—it’s not just because of the bet. I just told you.”

“But she doesn’t know about it,” Minjun countered, poking holes in Jungkook’s feeble defensive shield. It was more like a flimsy piece of paper than a shield, really; just something he’d hoped to fool himself—and you—into believing. “She doesn’t know what else is at stake. It’s not fair.”

“Okay,” Jungkook turned in his seat to face Minjun, leaning his elbow against the bar top. “What are you trying to tell me? That I should lose the bet on purpose? To show her that I care about her more than anything else?”

“No,” Minjun replied, less confident. Jungkook was likely not aware of this, but he could be very intimidating. For Minjun, who considered himself immune to most forms of intimidation after years of being friends with Sid, this was unusual and unsettling. “I’m not telling you anything. I’m just suggesting you think about it. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

Jungkook swallowed, his throat dry.

He knew that he had already drawn a subconscious line between simply wanting you back and wanting you back to win the bet. He worried about the exact thing that Minjun had just mentioned—that he couldn’t have both. He worried that it wouldn’t be fair to be with you again if he won.

This was what stopped him on the bridge. It’s what haunted his mind every time he thought about talking to you.

Deep down, he knew he would have to make a choice: either he won the bet, or he got back together with you.

And yet, he couldn’t let Sid win. The thought pressed on his mind with so much weight that he knew it wasn’t just you that he didn’t want to lose, and it definitely wasn’t just his bike. It was a matter of pride, too.

He was proving a point for all the years that Sid had asserted his superiority over him.

“You know, that never made any sense to me,” Jungkook said. Alcohol helped him feel more confident and less self-conscious. Maybe he should stay tipsy until the end of the bet. “That’s the whole point of the cake. You get it, and it’s not just there to fucking look at. It’s there to be eaten.”

Minjun could tell Jungkook felt defensive, so he didn’t take the aggression personally. Instead, he took a sip of his drink.

“Whatever, man,” he said. “It’s your life, in the end.”

“Yeah. It is,” Jungkook replied so firmly that it just sounded childish. He tried to soften his tone, “I appreciate yo—your concern, but I got this.”

“Okay,” his friend agreed because that was easier. They could have been at it for hours—and God knows, Jungkook and Sid had been at it for hours—but Minjun didn’t think it was worth it. He concluded, “that’s fine.”

“It is,” Jungkook agreed.

But it was clear that it wasn’t fine. Jungkook looked flushed as if he’d bathed in a barrel of whiskey, not merely drank two glasses of it.

After about half an hour, the silence became heavy. At first, Minjun had thought that he would rather throw himself down the stairs than return to the basement where Sid and Jude were. But now that seemed like a better alternative than sitting here with a sulking Jungkook.

“You know, uh, I think I’m going to go check on Sid and Jude,” he said while Jungkook ordered another—his fifth—glass. “Don’t want them to die in Oslo. Too big of a hassle to bring their bodies back home.”

Jungkook’s lip did not even twitch. But he nodded and Minjun slid off his chair. He glanced back at his friend as he went, not wanting to leave him alone, but also feeling like Jungkook was already alone anyway, even with him here.

Jungkook had always been good at isolating himself, even when surrounded by other people. Honestly, Minjun wasn’t sure if Jungkook even realised that he wasn’t sitting at the bar alone. He told Minjun once that he couldn’t stand silence, but Minjun knew that sometimes, Jungkook’s thoughts overwhelmed him without his consent. And once he got lost in his own mind, the rest of the world ceased to exist for him.

However, now that he was truly alone, Jungkook was struck by the heavy weight of his solitude. He would have agreed with Minjun – he really did have a monumental talent for disassociating anywhere, anytime. But to be able to drift off into his thoughts and turn the crowd into a blur, he needed a crowd in the first place.

Now that he was alone, all he could think about was that he was alone.

He certainly wasn’t going to follow his friends into the basement, so he got a few more drinks into his system for courage, and pulled his phone out—a painful reflex—to dial your number.

Needless to say, by the time you answered—it was 1 AM, but, of course, you answered—he was already slurring his words as he tried to explain why he’d called.

“Are you drunk?” was your first question as soon as you heard him try to introduce himself—pointlessly so, because at that point in your life, he was the only person who called you after midnight.

“Of course,” he said, with hints of offence in his voice. Why would he not be drunk? he rationalised.  “Do you want to come?”

He heard shuffling on the other end as he played with the napkin on the bar top. Funnily enough, despite his mind feeling pleasantly numb, he still felt twinges of anxiety in his stomach.

“Where even are you?” you finally asked. He was too drunk to notice the coldness in your voice.

“Sid took us to some bar,” he replied. “In Oslo.”

While you were relieved that Sid hadn’t driven them out of Norway before Jungkook even performed here, you also felt concerned that Jungkook was so disoriented that he needed to remind you of the city you were in.

“Are the rest of the guys there?” you asked. His friends were useless, of course, but perhaps Minjun could be trusted to take care of Jungkook if he blacked out.

“They’re downstairs,” he answered. “There’s some club. I didn’t want to go, so I called you. Do you want to come?”

You were confused by the repeated question—was this a matter of you wanting to come, or were you obligated to come as his manager?

He sensed your apprehension through the phone despite being intoxicated.

“I’m trying to see you,” he explained, his tongue struggling to bend the right way. All his Rs sounded like sloppy Ls and Ws. “You weren’t there when I looked for you earlier today.” You heard a bang – he’d slammed his palm against the bar top, forcing the nearby glasses to rattle – and he continued, whining now, “why are you so difficult for me to find?!”

“You’re drunk,” you stated in response. “And you’re not making any sense. Can you find your way to the bus, or do I have to pick you up?”

Half-mumbling, half-whining something incoherent, Jungkook leaned his arms on the bar top. He rested his head on them and pressed his phone against his ear harder as if that’d make you understand him better, make you enter his head somehow.

“You should come,” he said. “I’ll order for you.”

“How about you tell me exactly where you are first,” you replied.

He did – to the best of his ability in his current state – but Google Maps could hardly help you find the directions for “then we took two left turns and came up in front of his huge red brick building, might have been brown, I’m really drunk.” Finally, you managed to get him to just send you his pinned location and headed over there.

He stayed on his phone after you hung up, opening the Notes app and scrolling through his older notes to pass the time.

Some of them were lists of things he wanted to remember – films to see, songs to listen to – while others were harder to decipher: drunken reminders he had made for himself and forgotten as soon as he sobered up.

Some of the notes were song lyrics, and some were just your name—he’d begun to type out a message? a letter? and abandoned it, scared of the weight your name alone carried—and his finger lingered on those for a minute before he pressed the New Note button and began typing immediately.

Normally, he didn’t write lyrics when he was drunk. Tipsy, maybe—one of Rated Riot’s most popular singles was born after he and Yoongi tried absinthe for the first time at one of the label’s parties last year—but never so drunk that the room felt wobbly.

He kept pressing the wrong buttons on the keyboard and autocorrect kept making it worse; shocking even his drunk mind with how completely wrong the corrections were.

But he managed to get two full lines – I fucking miss you when I drink / You burn my throat when I sing – and he stared at them for a minute, a deep frown on his face.

He hated it. Deleting the words with angry force on the backspace button, he began typing again, feeling furiously alone with every passing minute that you didn’t come—and knowing that when you did come, you would be you. And he couldn’t love you the way he did.

For years, even when he thought—hoped—that the feelings he had for you were not real, even as he insisted to his friends that he couldn’t possibly still love you, even as he tried to meet someone new despite only seeing faint echoes of your absence on every face, even then he wrote about you each time that his mind wandered.

You continued to be the subject of his music, the lyrical lover in every song he wrote.

Now, as he entered line after line, the lyrics writing themselves as he watched the screen, he could feel his heart thumping in his chest—as drunk as his mind was.

When the absence of you is all that inspires / I allow for the pain to turn into fires / It will burn when I write, when I think, when I sing / Flames will turn to ashes, turn to words, turn to ink

He held his phone with one hand as he folded and unfolded a napkin with the other one, reading the words and then re-reading them again.

He wasn’t sure if he liked it. He needed Namjoon to take a look at this—the producer knew better—before he could show it to anyone else. Especially before he sent it to—

Jungkook jumped up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and his vision seemed to brighten when he recognised you.

“I came as quickly as I could,” you said, out of breath as if you had run all the way here. You took a seat on the stool next to him at the bar, using his shoulder to steady yourself as you climbed onto it. “Where’s your tail?”

Even drunk, he understood you meant his friends.

“Downstairs,” he said, nodding his head towards the door leading to the staircase in the back. “Drinks?”

You assessed him. He didn’t appear to be in need of having his stomach pumped, but he was slouched over the bar, tightly clutching his phone in his hand, which was a good indicator that the night should have ended there.

“I think it’d be better to—”

“Strawberry daiquiri,” he said loudly—to the bartender, but it took you a second to realise that—then he turned to you for confirmation. “Right?”

“I’m not drinking,” you replied firmly enough for him to give you a long look.

“Why not?” he asked. The bartender politely waited for your consent before he started to make the cocktail. “You’re not driving.”

You swallowed. There were many – countless, really – reasons why not. You were confused about yesterday, confused about Nick’s offer, confused about what you were doing here tonight.

This was dangerous. Reckless, even, and very out of character for someone like you. You knew you shouldn’t dive head first into this, not after what happened—what didn’t happen—yesterday.

But you gave the bartender a light nod.

“One drink,” you said. “And we’re going back.”

But, of course, going back is not at all what you did.

Jungkook, his highball, your daiquiri, and you all found yourselves on the empty terrace on the roof not ten minutes later.

It was a relatively warm night, but it was the empty space, the dark night and the faint scent of rain that captivated you more than the warmth. It was so beautiful here; very hard not to be grateful to be alive on a night like this. And you realised you didn’t blame Jungkook for making you come here, after all.

“What were you doing before I came?” you spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness of the night.

Jungkook took a sip from his glass and placed it on the small round table between your patio chairs.

“Writing,” he said.

You were surprised. “Writing?”

“Yeah.”

“As in, song lyrics?”

“Yeah,” he repeated. Then—his mind travelling a thousand miles per hour—he added, “you know, I wrote “Haunting” about you.”

Weirdly enough, while alcohol made most people sleepy or, at least slower, it seemed to ignite Jungkook’s mind instead. He wanted to see your reaction when he said this. Wanted, even drunk, to see if there was a reason for him to worry.

Meanwhile, you needed a moment to process what he’d just said and, even then, you weren’t entirely sure if you understood him.

“I—you did?” you stumbled, awkward.

“Yes.”

You looked away, the song fresh in your mind, because it wasn’t just the first Rated Riot song that you’d heard. It was also one of your favourites. You loved the ethereal melody—a strong focus on piano, the guitars reduced to the background and the bass only joining in on the chorus—and Jungkook’s raw vocals as he sang about resisting his dark urges.

You knew all of Rated Riot’s lyrics—hearing their songs every night paid off, but you’d have been lying if you said you didn’t like to listen to them in your free time as well—but it was the first verse and, particularly, the breathy, pained voice with which Jungkook sang it that always tugged at your heart:

It's wandering in my mind / It's haunting my daydreams / I follow after it, blind / I fall apart at the seams

After a minute, you finally spoke—awkward as you explained the meaning of his own lyrics to him, “I always thought it was about… well, searching for thrills even though that’s not good for you.”

“It is,” Jungkook said. “The beginning is. But the chorus is about you.”

Before you could ask anything else, he mouthed the lyrics under his breath so quietly that you were unsure if you weren’t only imagining him singing it since you’d listened to the song so many times before.

Can I find you when I break? / Can I find you when it’s too much? / Can you forgive all my mistakes? / Can you save me with your touch?

Jungkook had written plenty of songs on his own, but from what you’d heard in the studio, his lyrics used to be too abstract. That was the main reason why Namjoon used to scold him.

“It lacks feeling!” he’d shout, agitated by his own expectations for the vocalist. “It’s like you’re singing about a bag of bricks!”

You knew that many of Jungkook’s early songs didn’t have a specific subject in mind. In this particular case, you assumed he was singing about someone—anyone, really—extending a helping hand or providing a shoulder to lean on. It was a comforting song, nothing more than that.

Jungkook was almost grateful for the surprise on your face—he was worried you’d tell him that you knew. He’d always thought it was obvious that this song was about you. After all, you were the only one who was always there for him.

And, in any case, who else would he write about if not you? As soon as he was criticised for lacking emotion in his lyrics, he started to write from experience. And you were his experience.

But, of course, you didn’t think to look for yourself in his lyrics. You didn’t want to find yourself there.

And now you weren’t sure what the appropriate response was when someone told you they wrote a song about you. “Thank you” didn’t seem sufficient, because the song was about you, not for you. “I love it” also didn’t capture it, because you didn’t love it because it was about you. You just did.

So, you remained silent, watching the lights on the skyscraper across the street and the reflection of the dark clouds in the dark windows. The people behind them were likely asleep, resting before they started their day in a few hours.

“I think…” Jungkook began, his sentence ending sooner than he’d expected. His eyes were glossy when you looked at him. “I think I’m writing about you again.”

You swallowed and nervously bit your lower lip. The night was warm, but the wind on the roof was relentless. You couldn’t help shivering.

Your mind was running before you could stop it. You didn’t want to resume your conversation from Stockholm; it had managed to be too much by not being nearly enough. You couldn’t return there again.

But you still asked, “what were you writing?”

“About missing you.”

You sat there, absentmindedly tracing patterns on your dark jeans with the tip of your index finger. You tried to suppress the anticipation building in your stomach before it could fully manifest. Before it could turn into a terrifying disappointment. Before it could show you that you were lying to yourself when you said you’d moved on.

“Please don’t ask me why I’m doing this now,” Jungkook said in a strained whisper.

Your voice faltered as you said, “I won’t.”

“J-just so you know, I felt the same way back home,” he said. “The only difference is that here in Europe, you have no choice but to be around me.”

The implication was clear, even if his voice wasn’t accusing you of anything. He believed you were only spending time with him because your job required you to.

“I don’t… avoid you back home,” you defended weakly—the only way you knew how right now.

Last night, you’d told him you missed him and it didn’t end well. Actually, it didn’t end at all—it sort of hung over you and made this conversation uncomfortable. Like a scratchy sweater, rubbing on your skin in all the wrong ways.

“I know,” he said. “But you never put in special effort to see me, either.”

You took a sip of your cocktail, tossing your head back to finish it.

Placing the glass back down on the table between your seats, you finally said, “I didn’t know you wanted me to, until you brought it up the other day.”

“Yeah. I know that, too,” Jungkook said sadly. His moves mirrored yours as he picked his glass up, but stopped before bringing it to his lips. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. About Stockholm.”

The pounding of your heart was very loud, and your voice was very quiet.

“What are you sorry for?” you asked.

He looked down. “There were a lot of things I wanted to say to you, but I… didn’t know how. It got kind of, um, weird.”

He scoffed at his own choice of words, and you realised that you weren’t alone on this rooftop. There was Discomfort, Awkwardness, and Avoidance dancing around you two.

“It…” you began, but words didn’t come easy. “It shouldn’t have been weird.”

He shook his head. He was worried that this would happen. Worried that you’d take responsibility for last night. You’d say you were the manager, so you should have known better. Should have set stricter boundaries. Should have never crossed them.

Now, you added tentatively, “I-I mean, we’re friends, right?”

You could have smashed your glass on his head and that would have hurt less than the cursed word.

This wasn’t about friendship and you both knew it.

But you needed to feel better. Last night had scared you, he could tell as much. And now you needed to make sense of it. You needed to find a way to interpret it in a way that felt right to your standards.

Normally, he would have helped you. Anything to make you feel comfortable, that’s all he wanted anyway.

But, tonight, he was drunk. And so in love with you that it hurt.

“I don’t know what we are,” he said.

Your hands were restless as you tapped your fingers on your legs.

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” you said. “For us to be friends.”

“It is what I want, but it’s also—it’s much more than just—I’m sorry.” He slid his palms over his cheeks and pressed his hands together against his lips. “I don’t know how to—I could never put my thoughts into words in a way that wouldn’t be too much. Or too little.”

He thought that if his friends would have been here, they would have laughed. Four years he’s wanted you, waited for you, but pretended he didn’t.

Clearly, he needed lessons on how to openly discuss his feelings.

He inhaled—or tried to, anyway—and picked up his drink. You took this as an opportunity to look at him.

“You’re, um—you’re good at putting them into song lyrics, though,” you said.

He chuckled weakly and placed his empty glass down next to yours. There was Sadness, too, twirling on the rooftop. And faint traces of Regret.

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I’ll write another song about how much I want you.”

You inhaled too sharply to appear nonchalant. The consecutive “another song” and “I want you” pulsated painfully in your chest.

Alarmed by the sound of your breathing, Jungkook turned to look at you.

“I—sorry,” he said, reading your expression. “I can’t say that, right?”

The fingers of your right hand nervously grasped at the fingers of your left. You regretted not wearing longer clothing that you could pull on.

“No, you, um—well, you can say whatever you feel,” you said. “I just, uh… you know that I can’t say it back.”

He observed your fidgeting and initially interpreted it as discomfort. But now he believed it to be something else—a more prominent emotion, brought on by something other than just this conversation.

Uncertainty.

You said you couldn’t say it back. You meant that you weren’t allowed to, as his manager.

But you didn’t say that you didn’t want to say it back.

His voice trembled when he spoke, the words pouring out in one breath, “but what if we weren’t working together? What if we were somewhere in Oslo, on the roof of some bar, just the two of us? And this fucking never-ending Scandinavian wind, of course,” he paused when he saw a small smile make its way to your lips. “But the wind isn’t telling anyone anything, either. Wh-what would you say then?”

You looked up as if you could actually see the wind. You didn’t know what scared you more: thinking what it’d be like if you weren’t working together—because a few hours ago, that possibility seemed almost real—or admitting your thoughts out loud.

It returned, the heaviness of anticipation that you’d felt last night. You were very naïve to think you could stop it from coming back. To think you could quench the wishful thinking.

This anticipation seemed to control you more than you could control it.

“I’d say that this wind feels like we’re back on campus, loudly talking about our mid-terms and chasing after loose papers that wind had blown out of our hands,” you said. There was a reluctant, nostalgic smile on your face. “Then returning to my dorm room and listening to my neighbours argue about their dead plant, even though they’re both guilty of not looking after it. T-this feels like back then.”

“And how do you feel?” he asked near desperately.

You exhaled, but did not reply. Your skin tingled with pins and needles.

“It’s me,” he said, his tone gentler now. “There’s no one else here.”

And there it was – the moment that didn’t come in Stockholm.

Dizzy, you said, “I feel the same way as I did back then.”

Jungkook held his breath.

“I really need you to tell me,” he pleaded, “what way.”

You pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and focused on suppressing the goosebumps that arose on every part of your skin that his eyes touched.

“Just… exhilarated. From life. From love,” you spoke, your eyes fluttering to him. Frightened by the intensity of his gaze as he watched you, you looked back at the edge of the roof. “From you.”

You heard his breath quiver.

“Look at me,” he asked in a stern, yet powerless whisper.

You did—and he forgot what he was going to say.

He felt like you were both back there again, too. Like nothing had changed—because nothing had, not fundamentally—like he could reach out and you’d be there. Providing him with the noise he needed to not feel alone, and the comfort he needed to not feel overwhelmed.

Neither of you realised that he had leaned in until you felt the warmth of his breath—laced with a strong scent of whiskey—on your lips. Until your lungs started to burn from holding your breath so hard. Until you parted your lips slightly and the oxygen that slipped in was so full of echoes of his taste that you felt the roof turning upside down.

He closed his eyes as he lingered millimetres away from you, the close proximity putting you both in a trance so painfully blissful that not connecting your lips seemed almost sacrilegious.

You were hypnotised, too overwhelmed by the familiarity of the feeling—the barely thereness of his lips against yours—to think of anything else.

You couldn’t pull away.

But, in a blind panic, he was the one who did.

Blinking in surprise as he moved away, you found yourself frozen, eyes locked on the empty space in front of you.

Jungkook stared at the ground, breathless and wide-eyed.

Even drunk, he couldn’t do this.

There was Minjun’s face in his head—his initial discomfort the first time he found out about the bet. There was the conversation in the bar—and the cake metaphor, even though Jungkook thought he neither had the cake, nor could he eat it. There was Sid in his head, too—his smug grin as he insisted Jungkook would lose.

He couldn’t breathe.

He could hear white noise in place of thoughts, and something else, too—his own screams.

What did I do, what did I do, what did I do, what did I—

You couldn’t hear his attempts to inhale because as soon as he pulled away, your own thoughts grew louder. The realisation of what had happened again—what had almost happened again—was so strong, it almost pushed you down to the floor. You had to grip your chair not to double over from the weight of it.

You knew he was drunk, despite seemingly sobering up a bit on the roof. And he pulled away. Meanwhile, you’d had a few drinks tonight and you were going to let him—were waiting for him to—kiss you.

Somehow, he’d managed to exhibit more rationality while intoxicated, than you could while nearly sober.

You stood up.

Pausing for a second as you debated if you should give him an excuse for why you were leaving, you mumbled something about calling him a taxi, and walked away without turning back.

The door slammed shut behind you, but Jungkook still didn’t dare to lift his gaze. He was too focused on clenching his fists so he wouldn’t throw the empty glasses down the side of the roof.

Alone on the staircase, you welcomed the emotion that had trailed after you all the way from Sweden.

You were angry.

But not at this. Not at what could’ve happened and didn’t. Not at him, not for leaning in, and not for pulling away.

You were angry at yourself. For letting yourself wish for something you shouldn’t have wished for. And for feeling disappointed when your wish didn’t come true.

Twice, you’ve found yourself on the edge of almost. Twice.

Last night, you’d told him it was easy to get overwhelmed by all the memories that your time together has brought back. But perhaps it wasn’t him who got overwhelmed. Perhaps it was you.

Perhaps seeing each other so often had blurred the lines, and you found yourself forgetting. Found yourself yearning. Hoping.

But the fact remained—and you repeated it in your head over and over again as you climbed the stairs down from the roof, clutching the railing as if your life depended on it—you broke up for a reason. You broke up for a reason. You broke up for a reason.

It was shocking how little that reason mattered when you closed your eyes in the taxi ten minutes later, and all you could picture was what it would’ve been like if you’d been the one to close the distance between your lips tonight.

And as thoughts of Reconnaissance and Nick’s offer returned to your mind on the ride back, you wondered if tonight was a pro or a con.

chapter title credits: bad omens, “careful what you wish for”

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[pupyuj]

[cw: smut, dumbification, pillow riding, masturbation, fingering, degradation, humiliation]

YEAH I KNOW WHERE DID THIS COME FROM CUZ I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD RIGHT BUT AKDHKJD... I JUST—I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT SUB YUJ OR ELSE I'LL GO INSANE...

imagine like,, being gone for weeks bcs you had to go on a trip w your family or something :(( poor yuj was so lonely even when she was doing a lot of activities and idol work with her members,, while you did text and call her every single day you were gone, yuj wanted to have you beside her :(( she just couldn't sleep at night without you cuddling her.. and softly rubbing her clit through her panties while pinching her nipple as she's falling asleep... she has to do it on her own but it never feels good, she has never really been able to make herself come when you weren't around 💔💔

you feeling so bad bcs eventually yuj sends you whiny voice messages,, telling you to come back already, saying that she misses you and that she needs you :(( you knew she was fingering herself while recording those messages bcs you could hear the way she struggled to push herself over the edge,, whimpering in frustration bcs she so wished you were fucking her instead,,, see, after that voice message you really did decide to come back early! you loved spending time with your family but hearing yujin like that... well it broke your heart to hear your baby being sad but it also turned you on so much that you backed out of the vacation a week early!

coming home dead in the night,, wondering how yujin did not at all hear you when she was usually more alert than you,,, but then you figured it all out when you hear muffled moans and hushed swears through your bedroom door... leaving all of your luggage outside in the hall to open the door,, seeing your very naked girlfriend thrusting her hips into one of the soft pillows, whimpering pathetically as she rubbed her clit on the pillow over and over again,, she was moaning your name, clutching the bedsheets with a death grip as she sped up,, "mmommy,, mommy...!" she was screaming.. she was close, she was so close but she couldn't do it at all... she has tried every night you were gone but it was always impossible, until now,, coming up behind her, assuring her that you weren't some fucking intruder by kissing her shoulder, "keep going, baby. you're almost there." you whispered, grabbing her hips and guiding her so she's riding the pillow properly,,,

yuj thrusting her hips even faster, so relieved that you were finally back to her that she couldn't resist taking your hands and putting them on her breasts,, kissing her while taking her nipples between your fingers, fondling her just like she always wanted,, "i m-missed you so much, mommy... a-ahh, ah—please..."

"mhm.. i know, baby. sorry i couldn't help you with this before. i should've know you couldn't come without me.. but it's okay now, i got you..." pulling the pillow away and immediately shoving three fingers inside yujin, making her scream but the feeling was very much welcome... and oh, how you missed the feeling of her cunt around your fingers, so warm and tight... she was practically drenched so it was easy for you to just move in and out of her,, yujin still moving her hips to your pace accordingly, "so cute. you missed being mommy's stupid little slut, didn't you? having to lead your members all day for weeks without getting to get fucked by me.. must have been hard, huh, baby?" you were asking, and yujin was nodding as she spread her folds open for you.

"that's okay. you're not ive's cool, charismatic leader ahn yujin right now... you're just mommy's dumb slutty girlfriend.. right, yujinnie? you want me to fuck you stupid?"

yujin nodding again, "y-yes, yes please...! i c-c-can't do this without you, mommy.. please... i need you, ineedyou—fuck me, please!"

smiling in satisfaction, "such a good girl..." but you pulled your fingers out of her and slapped her cunt pretty harshly, earning a pained gasp from yujin. "you have no fucking idea about all the things i have planned for you tonight... turn that tiny brain of yours off, all you need to think about is me... got that?" you slapped her right on her clit again, nearly making yujin come right there.

"yes, mommy.. do whatever you want. i-i'm just your stupid toy, please..." sure, your slaps hurt but fuck no matter what you did it just turned yujin on. spreading her lips open with one hand and then slipping your middle and ring fingers inside her warm pussy, your thumb pressing against her clit... yujin's back arching at the feeling, her eyes completely hollow and empty and her brain only clouded with you, and the pleasure you gave her...

fingering her at an abnormal pace,, yujin was screaming at this point but she didn't care, nor was she aware of it at all! it all felt too good,, she couldn't even hear you saying things to her, she was that lost in her head... turning her into a babbling, crying mess as she squirted all over your fingers and ruined the bedsheets,, legs shaking and lips quivering as she came down from her high, her eyes were shut tight, and she was holding onto your thighs so tightly that you think she might have drawn blood but you didn't mind at all.. and you didn't care that she left scratches at your back when you pounded into her once again merely minutes later...

yujin is, and will always be, completely fine being reduced to what she was when she was with you! a brainless whore who wants nothing but to be of use for her mommy, the most wonderful good girl for you 💞🥺

sorry if this ending is a little sloppy i have class in nine minutes—

[umeqii]

Emily x goth!black cat!reader who has a soft spot for animals and poetry? I love your humor and writing smm icon behaviour :))

GANG I AM SO SORRY 4 SUCH A LATE POST BUT IM GONNA TRY N GRIND THRU EVERY REQUEST I GET :///..

n also i lwk might come back 2 change the way i set this out bc it looks goofy asf ☠️☠️

fandom ; class of '09

character ; emily

reader ; gn (implied fem tho bc of the meeting)

creator ; umeqii

warnings ; tbh prolly is angst bc it refers 2 the OD ending, death mentions, SH mentions, drug usage, pedophila idk co09 regular stuff

emily had first realised your existence ig when it was that one scene where jecka and nicole were skipping, then emily and kelly came in trying to sell addys and then megan and ari joined.

y'know that one, right?

yeah you were with ari and megan skipping on a test

you tried telling them this bathroom wldve been full but they didn't listen smhh

anyways when you went in, it was clear that basically everyone minus your two friends were staring at you, which you were used to, so you didn't really mind

but kelly ended up giving you a smile and a small wave, aswell as you did back

you guys sat next to eachother in thr majority of classes so you ended uo becoming friends even despite how different you guys were in terms of personality and looks

the others lwk js ignored ur existence but they did comment on ur choice of style once not in a bad way tho..!! (nicole smh)

as your eyes scanned the room, you locked eyes with emily and instantly looked away bc nuh uh chat u ARE NEVER catching me lacking 😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼

but yh icba 2 keep writing abt allat

she really did like ur style and was lwk like "waiittt whos that diva 💜💜" ygwim???

so after her n kelly left, she asked her friend abt who u were heh...

was lwk gnna say it was ur y/n moment until i remembered u r y/n but yk

kelly js sed smth like "oh them? yeah that's y/n. they're cool. their style's like.. cute... i guess? just not somethin' i would wear. overall a nice person. we make fun of jeffery together."

y/n huhhhh

cute name heh...😉😉😐😐

okay yh headcanons

as im typimg this its 8th december guys i js realised how late this was finna be posted srry chat!!!!

u

u guys got tgth after u were smoking pot under the stairway and that goofy ahh counsellor came to tell ym off or wtv

but emily was liek "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCHASS PEDOPHILE" or smth!!!

and she started 2 run away and she grabbed ur arm and u guys hid in a bathroom stall and like made out idrk

yh shes highkey rlly rich and so she noticed how u rllyyyy like animals so she wld buy u black cat plushies or raven ones

u guys were yapper x listener 💞💞

do u guys c where im going w this!!!

"y/n. ur super cool and pretty and handsome. sry i cant be here anymore. ilysm. i wish i cldve done this with u but i cant. ur 2 pretty to die and u have 2 keep living. i wish i cldve been more like you U r so pretty 2 look at and you were always chill and u saw the best in everyone even fucking wierd ass bitches like jeffery and thats why I made out with u that day bcuz I knew i wld be happy with u. ur names on my thighs and left arm btw. wouldve done my righy arm 2 but im right handed lols. i luv u so much babe ❤️"

doomes yuri!!

anyways

u guys weren't exactly toxic

u were js toxic ppl

(mostly ems)

u wld read her poetry and teach her some other ways of calming down which weren't so unhealthy and it sld sorta help??

atleast thats what u thought lmfao!!!

ym r scene x goth

if u wear trad goth makeup u wldve totes let her do it 4 u

and she wld let u practice on her aswell

it was always fun and perfect when u wld contour her button nose and she wld start laughing and flashing her shark looking teeth

u miss it

[according2thelore]

2023 top five!

@preseriesdean thought it would be fun for artists/authors/creators to post their favorite five creations this year, and i agree! it can be anything: your favorite posts, fics, art, edits, fanvids, anything!

i saw some folks turning this into a tag game, so here are some tags! @deanwinchesterpregnant @dyed-red @mercette @crucifysam @weirdbrothers @togethertogethersoulmates @pookeenpie

if you end up doing it, pls tag me! i'd love to see y'all's works! :)

-lizzy

so in no particular order, here are the five fics i liked the best/am the most proud of!

considering that everything i’ve written on this account (240k words of it good lord) was published since february 23rd, i’ve got a lot to work with!

i was in the fandom back in 2012-2013 until 2016-2017, and when i rewatched it recently with some friends, i realized just how many words and feelings had been broiling since. i wrote a LOT for spn back in the day (not published, just for the pure joie de vivre), but everything on the ao3 is completely new since feb!

1. tell me, why are you still so afraid?

or, the "what do you want, sam?" fic. this one might be a surprise! it did moderately well, but i'm really happy with it! i love writing weechesters/pre-series, and i hope this fic did them justice! it hit a lot of points i liked, and i had so much fun writing it!! i'm proud of it! :)

2. you're pretty when you don't speak

or, sam's wife pov. i was shocked!!! aghast!!! frankly agog!!! at how much folks loved this one! i had the idea in the shower of all places, lmao, just the idea that wait, being sam's wife must be so lonely. it was not the usual fare (and written in second-person pov), so i was expecting it to gently and quietly flop. but no! i wrote this fic in two sittings at one a.m. the night before a paleopathology exam, so i'm shocked any of it was coherent in the morning. thank you, dear reader, if you interacted w it at all! :)

3. romans 3:10-11

ahh, romans. to other folks that write, this was one of those fics that scratched in my bones until i sat down and wrote it all out. does that sound pretentious? it was stifling; it was all i could think about. even now, i look back on it and feel like there are things that are missing, extended scenes and extra themes that i wished i had teased out. the response was overwhelming and positive and i'm so glad you lot liked it! if you ever want more...idk...lemme know...

4. we didn't get it right, but love we did our best

or, the Heaven fic! this one took awhile to make, and a lot out of me to do! it's the longest fic i've made this year, by a lot! the planning process was a lot of fun (even though charlotte was mostly asleep), and i even colour-coded themes and turning points i wanted to include. the sense of accomplishment when it was done was a great part of this year!

5. there's no such thing as a clean break, when your heart starts bleeding out

or, the stanford!era fic where dean bleeds out on the highway and decides to not tell sam about it. one of my favorite things to write is a character getting more and more out of it as they lose control (or blood), and this one was a fun challenge! i love stanford!era dean, because he's so mangled and angry and sad. i feel like that one tweet that william shatner posted where he said ELECTROCUTE HIM!!! this also feels the most like the things i wrote back in 2014, so it brings nostalgia :,)

this was WAY harder than i thought! i loved and was so proud of so much of my work this year! a top ten would be easier, but i'm happy with this list!

thank YOU for reading! :)

we are holding hands now and there's nothing you can do to stop it. y'all keep this up and we might even have to stare lovingly into each other's eyes.

[jxcotts]

what's your honest opinion about the love interests? (both mcl and eldarya)

for example, no matter how handsome some of them are, I just can't like them (in fact, most of them are annoying to me)

ugh no yall gonna hate me forever lmao- ANYWAYS🥹

nath & nevra: they are so similar, their story, behavior so its pretty easy to love them both (i mean if they r your type lol), they can do no wrong😎 i cant really express my love for them, but yall know how much they mean to me so WHATEVER, just stan them !

armin: ahh he's such a cutie but also was very thoughtless, he did some bad shit in high school, but idk i just love him so much, best friends brother AND the gamer boyfriend trope are VERY entertaining💋

kentin: yeah well im not that okay w going from good boy to bad boy bc why???? and he was pretty rude to candy, when they were childhood friends and she did nothing wrong to him so i didnt understand it, but when he changed he was such a cutie. alternate life kentin is just ughhh THE CUTEST.

castiel: the good girl x bad boy trope is awesome, but sometimes he's an asshole, especially when he teases nath (high school), hate him for that, but his character development was cool and tbh i really REALLY like him w amber so... i have to say that she would've been the better choice, not candy. DON'T HATE ME. they were just more interesting TO ME. he and candy r lovely as friends tho <3

priya & hyun: they are cute and good friends! priya deserves everything and more <3

rayan: unpopolar opinion: hes ugly. and what the fuck. a teacher? lol.

eric: 😆 you dont want me to talk about this shithead, worst """love interest""" ever. please, you cant even call him as it lmao

lysander: well... ah please dont exile me, but hes a colorless character. the whole person is boring as hell to me.

ezarel: MAN I MISS HIM SM... hes such a silly character, im mad beemoov didnt bring him back in s2 and that nevra never talks abt him when they were like brothers. id love to see him and miiko in ep 20 (im a delulu<3).

leiftan: idk i just love his demonic side and his obsession with erika in s1🤭🤭 he's so supportive, but in s2 his story is so sad lol, he deserves better. he's not even that happy anymore-,, i love the tension between him and nevra lmaoo

valkyon: :) i love him as a friend and he def deserves so much better. i wish they could bring him back:/

uhh... help. ill be short.

the traitors: so... lance in s1 was EVERYTHING. i loved how cute he was with erika once or twice lol, but still, as the enemy its something. i just dont understand why beemoov didnt see the potential in season ONE ; the enemies to lovers trope would have been the greatest. seriously. uhm... no comment for season 2. i hate him as much as i can, lets be honest he looks like an annoying rat (SORRY) and im sorry beemoov, but i will NOT accept the enemies to lovers NOW after he killed his brother. erika had every opportunity to kill him, but ofc beemoov, keep him.

yeah about mathieu, hes as colorless as lysander, but even more.

manifesting an execution for both <3 (still a delulu😘)

if you still like me after all this, i love u:')

[antoncore]

Noo!! But in totally get it that u wish u could write more fics, but I just want you to rememberz that ur blog is so lovely, that even without writing full fics, u SRSLY write soo good, and interact w us so beautifully <33

(also heres me re-sending that ask i sent b4, but from what i remember i typed lol)

Hmm.. so the thing is, last week this uni club that im in, me and all of us club members went on a like lil trip, and it was like a 3hr ride there & 3hr back, it was actually so relaxing, like going to the beach, then it even rained in between, and idk it was just so nice to sit oustide under the patio whilst the fresh rain and trees surrounded us, bcoz it was in quite a "forest-y" location !!! But getting to the point... My boy bsf was also there... And idk through the whole three hour bus ride, i was just holding onto his hand and sleeping on his shoulder... And then he very painfully pointed out the fact that i have a thing for holding hands.. and then literally the next day, the other girls on the trip (also my friends), also started teasing me cuz i always grab their hands asw 🫣 but like he never let's go of my hand either, instead taking care of me:( making me walk behind him when we're out in public, while i HOLD HIS HAND AHHHH

AHH AND I PROMISE CEE, THEY HAVE THE FREE WILL TO LET GO OF MY HAND, IM NOT HOLDING THEIR HAND HOSTAGE!!!

So basically that got me thinking... Of a scenario w 01z, where they went on a business trip for 3 weeks, but eunseok unexpectedly comes back a day or two earlier, so ofc ur all over him as soon as hes back, he's just sitting on the bed when u spot him, and immediately jump on his lap and start kissing all over, telling him "missed u sm seokie" hding his hand 🥴🥴🥴, but then u don't even realise sungchan sitting in the chair in the corner of the room until he's like "ur not gonna tell me how much u missed me? Princess" so ofc u immediately (try) to get up to go to sungchan, whilst eunseok just holds u there in his lap w a hand onnur waist, and to make it worse, sungchans so close now, leaning down and like "hmm... I guess my baby didn't miss me, and u look busy, maybe ill just go" u whining out and trying to reach out to him... But obviously u can't bcoz of eunseoks grip...

And yk they both are purposely teasing u atp, knowing how much u wanna hold their hand / touch them... bcoz sungchans like "who did u miss more.. hmm princess?"But when u start to get teary-eyed, they finally give u mercy..m and omdsss the sweet FUCKING afterwards, like ur laying down while one of them fucks you, w ur head in the others' lap whilst he just caresses ur hair and gently touches ur face, occasionally kissing, ANDDDD UR HOLDING HIS HAND TOOO !! <333

Ik i just totally exposed myself rn, but like hold my hand and I'll love you forever 💓

- 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽🍫

girl you’re lowkey just like me, i’m so clingy😭😭😭 (only with certain people though) but i LOVE that scenario so much god. getting fucked slow and deep by one while being gently caressed by the other… i don’t have much to add except that’s a NEED god gimme gimme plssssss

[feuqueerfire]

The Warp Effect Live Blogging

I've been obsessed with the idea of this show since I watched the freaking mock trailer like sooo long years ago (late 2021? early 2022? like 2 years ago bruh) and was so glad that people seemed to really like the actual show when it released, can't believe I'm finally watching it. I attempted to watch this once before but it was while I was taking a break at university and uh this is not a show I can watch in public, so I had to stop just a few minutes in and now I'm back like a year later.

Anyway, I better love it. I'm gonna lose my shit if it turns out like Be My Favourite for me (I love the mock trailer -> people love the show -> I finally watch the show and find it... fine).

Ep 1 (Apr 20)

Why am I so nervous, I almost don't wanna start it. see this is why I have so many highly praised show or shows I'm hoping to love like ITSAY and 3WBF still on my To Watch list

1-1

ah, the promise/purity ring of doom

oh he's a high school KID pls

ah, I'm so excited seeing this intro with the whole cast, I'm anticipating a lot of their roles

Is the one who found the bra his grandpa?

Alex and Ice brothers

I like their uniforms

Jan, hiiii <3 <3 <3 (name: Nim)

his face appeared on the news of the massage parlour burning ?!

hehe Nim and Jan are already dating

I'm so excited seeing Gigie and Fah and everybody ahh, it's actually been so long

Also I wish I'd watched TWE before I learned about how Fah's husband is a POS because now I'm like ah... by extension she is also a POS because you're literally marrying that man

I've been like damn why am I so excited to see all these people? I see them act all the time except no I don't because apparently I haven't watched a GMMTV show since Be My Favourite last year (other than OffGun 20 minute Love From Outta Space but that only has them). I just see some of them online, esp like FourthGemini and Phuwin. No wonder I'm like hiii~ to everybody I see pop up.

not the sex situation roleplay in front of the class. good on consent tho

i'm gonna have to relearn everybody's names later fr

Army the homophobic homosexual (actually does he like girls too fr? idk)

hah, Mark's character getting schooled for asking who tops and bottoms

not Army getting so into it T.T closeted kid... and then punching Alex oh boy

is Alex not underage or is that not like a concern bruh like even the teacher is so casual about it

free period product spiel

1-2

New and Fah (Alex and Jean) are so cute man. I'm so nervous that he... sexually assaulted her? or something nonconsensual?? like I don't remember what the issue was but he did something bad I think? it makes me so nervous because they wouldn't fucking made the main character in our sex-positive show a fucking assaulter right?

uh what does the grandfather know?

is this camera magic

I'm hungry, time for lunch, hope nothing super raunchy or gross happens while I'm eating

ah kiss

aw slap (foreshadowing for the future IMO *wink*)

1-3

hah the dildo scene

Fah you are so hot and so cool (or so I thought) why are you with your husband T.T

idk why I'm so happy seeing Alex and Jean getting it on like it's fun and it's exciting

Fah is so hot goddamn

1-4

ohhh Alex accidentally kind of saw Army with some guy (Joke?). Are both the bullies gay and hooking up? well he didn't recognize shit cuz he's drunk off his ass but yknow

he's no longer a virgin

dang, miss girl went straight into a pelvic exam. usually people like "wake up" in a different time or go from one room to another or smth lol

I have watched a couple time travel things but they've usually been to the past/deaged to teenagehood whereas this one is to the future.

Very fun 1st ep, interesting and fun and intriguing and also heart-felt.

Kinda funny that in the GMMTV subreddit on-air, people have mentioned how American it feelts (apparently a lot of the inspo for it is American which makes sense) but I have no clue about that because I haven't much American/western TV lol

Ep 2 (Apr 20)

2-1

Delightful Army who is no longer homophobic

Is this the same hospital as Vice Versa?

pls gooner See-ew

ahh, I was wondering if Ew would indeed no longer be Alex's friend

ahhh his relationship with family is now extremely distant too, I'm so curious about what happened

girl you're like 30 now, it makes sense that your grandfather might have passed away. but i do get that it's sudden and he must be like wtf i just saw him yesterday

oh also they're like Christian. the promise ring thing is in a church and there are crosses and stuff in their house too

I think I remember something about him having to fix his relationships or people he wronged or something and I guess these photos give a hint as to what?

2-2

0:49 Ew (aka Sing who also plays Todd in Not Me) says "Are you challenging me?" but him saying it in Thai reminds me of him saying the same thing/a similar thing to Black as Todd when Black came to kill him

ohh these photos are from the future?

broken promise leading to this mess

heh, Alex really went wild that night at the party ig

Ah, indeed Alex kissed Molly (we saw this in 1-3 I think)

Alex, Kat fuck buddies

2-3

Gigie is so hot

pls the way I burst out laughing at him leaving the bathroom nearly naked

the change from shy/nervous -> eager and excited

also Kat's so funny cuz she gets angry and then is like ^.^ :D like the cat smiling emoji

pls the curse not letting him have sex even in the future

Joong hi, can't wait to see him be tied up in a chair (and whipped?)

"Thank you, master" ahhhh i'm so excited for Liu and Ew and puppyplay

i'm actually not a super big of the dog mask but it's all so cute omg >.< Master feeding her dog strawberries aww and then giving a little flog for being a bad doggie but being nice to him again awww so cuteeeee he's such a cute dog

2-4

Army is so fun

so he did indeed get with Jean in between making out with other people

yay Jean director, her dream

and she's mad at him because he did smth but whattt

Ep 3 (Apr 21)

3-1

pls the way he has no doctor gyno knowledge T.T he's 17

I saw people guessing that Alex and Jean had sex that night -> Jean got pregnant -> Alex left/wanted nothing to do with that/she got an abortion and he gave no support/etc. which I think I would like more than my fears that he did something untoward

Jean and Kat convo ahh pretties and cuties i hope you are friends and don't hate each other later on

3-2

ik Ew is excited but I also want Liu to be more excited and eager and partaking in the sex toy shopping and kink play

aw she's embarrassed esp in public

okay exactly liu being like "i like it but not all the time. do you ever ask me what i actually like?"

ah her running into Jedi and Rose right in front of the store

does Alex even know how to drive

all i can think is Army's hands were probably on his dick or the other guy's dick and he's touching Alex all casually without washing hands

there's no photo of Ice but i guess he'd need to patch things up with his brother anyway

I think this is the first time I'm seeing Phuwin in a romantic role with somebody other than Pond?

Jan with a girl let's fucking go

tragic that this isn't gonna last bc Nim and this girl are cute together

3-3

Ah

I guess the best thing would've been to set up guidelines earlier in the relationship, like puppy play/BDSM is just One aspect of our relationship, not the whole thing. because it's been clear since ep 2 that Ew is more eager to play that way every time they see each other whereas Liu likes it to a lesser degree and also wants to hang out and be romantic outside of that play and also wants to be pampered sometimes rather than always domming him/taking care of him

agh it irritated me that Ew just turned on porn and got off but ig he uses it as a crutch maybe... i'm hoping it's that instead of a lack of care and affection toward Liu smh

I love Gigie's smile her sharp little incisors are extremely attractive

I'm glad Alex cut it off with Kat esp because in last ep it was mentioned that he's kind of being dishonest with her since he's not... exactly who he says he is

3-4

Oh, that's Ice's girlfriend Kim? Jean and her work together?

I loveee Jean's colour-block jacket

a little lesson on doing a pelvic exam for someone with a vagina

ah Alex and Jean in the same room again i'm so excited but nervous

I'm nervous For Jean bruv

you didn't do the cotton thing before inserting the speculum Alex

ah, they fr had sex that night

Ep 4 (Apr 21)

4-1

Army is so funny and endearing. i'd be curious to know his reaction when Alex finally tells him about the time travel

Are we getting Thor's character finally or not yet? anonymous face

oof Bew and Nim's future plans look pretty different

and the pregnant Nim photo is manifesting

bruh obviously Ew dresses up and plays a little dog lmfao

damn they're actually talking about puppy play

girl that's not Thor, that's a baby! I just remembered that I think I knew about this? about Fluke's character accidentally meeting up with an underage guy

pls 2005 liner (in 2022)

i am aware that playing football is an euphemism. is it for masturbation? just being horny?

I found out about Fluke Pusit's new BL which is apparently the fucking Your Dear Daddy that had me icked out from the title agh but like... I like him in this and wanna see him in a BL as a main lead so I might still check it out since the synopsis doesn't seem too bad. It'll still be many months perhaps over a year or two until it comes out though... not even a pilot trailer yet. will they get the budget and talent necessary for the show? Who knows...

4-2

Ah, Joe and Army also had a falling out and aren’t in contact, rip

I think it's Army's baby based on that one tiktok where Army and Nim are talking about the kid having gay and lesbian parents

non-binary Molly!!!!

i can’t quite tell how we’re supposed to feel about Joong’s character Tony tbh

ohh that’s how the Joong tied up in a chair by Sylvie scene comes to be, it’s part of their movie acting.

i watched the first few minutes of this on the train lol

Damn, what's up with Jean :< is it really just bad cramps or something serious?

4-3

pls Ice's friends are losers (or maybe just that specific dude)

oh the moaning while Ice and Kim are having sex threw me off

did Kim even have fun? USELESS

okay she's saying she had fun, though I wish she seemed more into it while they were actually doing the act. Orgasms aren't always necessary but it should still be fun

Kim is so fucking hot bruh

"Let's do it raw" well i'm so glad it was Phuwin playing Ice and not me bc I would've embarrassed myself on that set

ah, Army can still think fondly of his time hooking up with Joe and get off to it lol

Anyway, at least it seemed like Kim was gonna have more fun in round 2 but i want that for her every time they have sex

4-4

Kat and Jean on one screen is always so heart eyes

Army, what are you apologizing forrrr

pouty Army is so cute bruh

pls the argument while Army's jacking Joe off

the handjob that leads to forgiveness

well I'm glad they didn't get caught cuz I was nervous lol

The people I find incredibly attractive in this show are: Jean, Kat, Kim, and Army lmfao

Ep 5 (Apr 21/22)

5-1

Army reminiscing about the high school days when he and Joe hooked up lol

ah, Army has the photo he took of Alex and it shows Alex in the future in a doctor coat

hilarious that Alex is just a good, knowledgable gyno now lmfao

finally Army learns about the time travel

oof, Alex running into Kat and Jean at the club

the way he leaned over Jean freaked me out fr

correct that you can revoke consent at any time etc but maybe also say that if you're gonna bring a random person home from the bar, be clear about expectations before leaving the bar/coming home

5-2

he can't even get off when he masturbates?

Ew's animosity toward Army lol

Mollie lead role!

idkkkk Nim doesn't seem to be want to be pregnant and doesn't seem to like kids, I don't want her to have a baby when she doesn't want one

ouch, Mollie-Nim-Bew meet

the pilot guy is sleazy, Kat run away

5-3

wait we're not doing any more puppy play? :( did Liu really not like it at all?

Aghh we're only doing extremes of puppy play every time y'all meet vs no puppy play ever... what about a happy middle?

Ouchhh the public humiliation and body shaming, this is the hardest storyline in the show to watch for me so far

5-4

yay mollie

ohhh the photo of mollie changed cuz they overcame their problem ig? w alex's help once the photo happened

Kinda surreal to watch Molly be played by Sylvie who is attractive and, despite not being stick thin, also not fat

I barely watched anything on the 22nd and yesterday the 23rd was all about GMMTV 2024 Part 2, so I'm Finally starting the next ep today

Ep 6 (Apr 24)

6-1

Okay I got too nervous waiting to watch what Alex did so I read in the comments that he didn't use a condom because he was so drunk. It's terrible but I feel better knowing what it was that he did before seeing it

eughhh they're so drunk

oh ew that's... horrifying. to have her actually say wait and stop multiple times while he... doesn't

that's actually fucked fr

the look of horror and realizing on Jean's face and then the tear...

why is Alex fucking smiling?! how dare he

aw shucks everybody gonna know and the rumours are getting bigger

not Alex just going with Jedi while leaving Ew behind

Incredible that this guy who traumatized Jean is now just at the top of the school pyramid I actually can't believe my worst fears were real and Alex ignored Jean's multiple attempts to push him off while she says stop

6-2

the Jean and Molly convo is interesting. I understand Jean more because you can't just go around kissing people while in a monogamous relationship just to check if you're into it or not but I understand that Molly's also unsure of what they actually like, especially because it seems like they were probably grappling with being nonbinary back then and haven't yet chosen that term for themselves yet

I think breaking up is the right thing to do in this situation

Kat dropping big hints that she knows Army likes boys lol at least she's breaking up with him easy

Army has armpit hair which is normal but rare in EA/SEA shows it feels like? idols are clean shaven/lasered

Army's so annoying lol conceited but a cutie so I can't even disagree

conflicted because hah gay locker room handy is fun but also... part 1 sex was horrific

oh naur they're gonna get caught?

noooooo Army throws Joe under the bus?!

6-3

nosy ass grandpa

Ice is 13? lmfao. so he's 23 in the future ig

we should kill Alex first not stopping when Jean told him to and now abondoning Ew at Army's suggestion

heh Ew liked the slap

oh In Love by Gamma Skies, I think this was in a Bad Buddy playlist but I couldn't remember it being used in the actual show

Kat and Jean smoking in the balcony aghh I want at least 1 kiss between them plsplspls (but not right now when Jean is just newly traumatized :()

agh Jean labeled as a slut for sleeping with Alex (and dancing on the table in her bra) while Alex becomes the top dog for presumed to sleep with 3 girls (+ kiss Army lol)

6-4

I read the comments first because I know apparently Jean's photos in her bra from that party are gonna be plastered on the wall and aghh... Alex is gonna be useless and treated well while Jean is gonna be called an attention seaker and also suspended ?! and people in the comments were saying people shouldn't say that Alex did nothing wrong, how the fuck are there comments saying he didn't do anything wrong omg??!!

punishment for WHAT?!

Jean isn't quite yelling at Alex for the things she wants to yell at him about so I guess that's why the comments that apparently defended him may have thought she was treating him unfairly but it's like... it's hard to say you might not fucking remember but you didn't use a condom and didn't fucking listen to me while i told you to stop repeatedly you jackass and now they're all ruining my life

this fucking Alex/Jean montage i'm so mad T.T

and Army needs a fucking punch too

Alex is soooo aghhhh why is he literally going to Jean's house (!!!) and saying sorry but also repeatedly being like "Can you forgive me?" like girl wtf how can you expect forgiveness this easily by saying it was your fault a decade later smhh

ahhh horrible. good episode in the sense that it's well-crafted and makes sense but truly what the fuck

I get that Alex was drunk and so ignored Jean while we assume he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't drunk but truly... what the fuck? Being drunk doesn't mean you get a free get out of jail card to violate consent. The show nor the audience seem to use the word rape but that's what it was, right? I don't want them to get back together in the end man...

And also the Army-Joe thing... idk, throwing Joe under the bus...

Also I think I won't look at warp effect tumblr posts anymore... idk, I kinda don't care to read about people's thoughts on it because it's already tiring to watch the show, much less read people's thoughts on it. Might seek out specific gifsets if I really want one though.

Ep 7 (Apr 25)

7-1

lol everybody having fun while Alex can't orgasm

Liu's boss... ew

Rose and Jedi are cute heh

plss not Jedi being one of the men who wants their gf/wife to go open relationship but then is jealous she's is getting more partners and having fun and such

I'm glad we get kissing and sex with with Jedi and Rose because I swear so many times when trans actresses are cast, they either get no romance or very chaste romance with hugs at most

aw shucks, I'm guessing Jedi's dick hurting is gonna lead to the hospital visit in Alex's photo

7-2

oh also, ig I didn't think about the fact that Nim would have to marry whoever she has a kid with?

heh quick decision to have a freaking child

I'm also not sure Nim having a child is even the right decision

New looks soo attractive in the bar scene

I love Alex trying to mend the relationship with Ice

ewwww not Captain asking Kat to be his gf in public with flowers and such. It puts pressure on the one being asked, I hateeee it when people ask such questions in public and then the asker might get angry at being humiliated. I'm glad Kat stood her ground but I'm afraid he's gonna retaliate, esp since he's a pilot where she is a flight attendant

7-3

It makes me so nervous fr when they do anything in public

oh crazy, we're having the not orgasming talk but for a gay couple this time

a little PSA about positions

omg Joe is a side? doesn't like penetration possibly? because he liked the handjobs

Joong's character and Jean are cute man, idk I hope he's not sleazy

ah, Molly and Nim scenes once again

aw man Ew is going to meet the bunny domme

it's cute how excited he is but helloo you're meeting a woman behind our gf's back + camera?!

oh no he's wearing the outfit he gets arrested in

ah cops

you can get arrested for creating porn in thailand?

7-4

Ew begging Liu to stay is still more about himself and how she's the only one who understands him and gave him a chance rather than about her. But the story gets that I think because Liu says that in their relationship she has tried to be what's needed for Ew but Ew hasn't done the same.

ah shit not the captain beating up Kat, that fucker

Ep 8 (Apr 25)

8-1

poor Kat

aww Jean and Kat <3

girl, imagine if you had indeed accepted him, he's a fucking asshole, you'd be in a mess either way

yesss you two should date

I don't even know how to feel at Jean and Alex conversations, like it's not cool or chill dude, just shut upp

In the ep 7 r/gmmtv on-air, somebody mentioned that maybe... Army sleeps with another guy/cheats on Joe (esp if they're not on the same page sexually) and that's why it's a polaroid with the other guy's identity hidden? made me sooo nervous, I don't want that to be true plsss I just thought it'd be because Joe is closeted and so we can't see his face

plsss not Army's rant to Alex about Joe not bottoming

ah, Kim is pregnant and I'm guessing Nim is/will be too. I hope one of them gets an abortion for the storyline here

bruh, Bew was flighty from the jump but also Nim really shouldn't have gotten IVF done so quickly and easily with little though

bruh fuck Bew

8-2

plsss Alex going to Joe to talk about his and Army's sex life is sending me fr

side Joe! and they're fr talking about it!

Ah, Mollie and Nim :(

I really hope Kim ends up having an abortion. She and Ice can make another baby in the future when they're older and more stable and ready

Aw, Ice is sweet but I still don't think they should have a baby when neither is ready

Alex randomly there to help Kat lol

damn, Captain got put in jail, that's good

8-3

I hope Tony's just a nice, regular guy

pls Army being like yep my partner is soo satisfied with my performance to his patient

lol multi-activity full package outercourse

uh... is Kat developing feelings for Alex/I thought she had feelings for a while tbh

oh, Alex talking about Jean in his sleep rip

I hope Jean and Kat don't become enemies, that's my only wish

8-4

I love Joe and Army so bad wtf

Kat and Army's photos now fixed

Ep 9 (Apr 26)

9-1

okay Jedi mentioned always using protection

oof, not them fighting over the HPV

Rose is trans and didn't have bottom surgery so how tf did they have sex so easily in the kitchen that one time lmfao

pls not Ice singing about their child in this club setting

Kim shouldn't be drinking but Ice shouldn't be picking fights with strangers like that and escalating situations either

okay finally abortion mention

Ice let go of your fucking pride for like one second

9-2

hehe Sylvie and Joong scenes

not both Mollie and Jean falling for Tony's charms

okay Alex giving Ice good advice about supporting Kim's decision for an abortion. I wish somebody would also mention that they can just... have a child a couple years down the line

i wonder where we're going with the HPV storyline?

9-3

stop meeting at Joe's workplace I beg

STOP YELLING !!!

why is that man taking a video aghhhh Armyyyy i'm gonna kill you and also that man

ah, Nim and Molliee

ohh Nim's photo went back

not the flight attendant roleplay plss

I'm dying at Rose and Jedi's relationship where they're in an open relationship and flirt with people but never sleep with any of them even though the other one thinks they do lmfao

okay glad Kat didn't just get over Captain's assault and that it still affects her. but she's not portrayed as week for still being affected because it's literally such a big thing

Jedi and Rose are sooooo cute what the hell

not the scent callback

Jedi/Rose cutiesss

9-4

omg Kat and Tony?

Tony is suchhh a flirt that it's fun to see him be taken back by Kat's extremely forward pursuit

so is Tony... supposed to be just a nice, normal guy fr? I hope he is

Rose and Jedi are actually so cute like I'm dead

okay so it's stronger and stronger hinting that Jean was indeed pregnant after that party

oh no, Liu and her fuckass boss creep next ep

I liked how cute Jedi and Rose were but I feel like why introduce the open relationship aspect at all then? Like if they needed to have it, they could've treated it with more nuance and have them actually participate in the open part of their relationship. idk i was like, the lesson isn't that "people in love can't do open relationships" right?

Ep 10 (Apr 26)

10-1

director and main actor dating? and also Tony asking her in public like this too? Captain flashbacks smh

girl, dancing?! omg why is this too much for me, too much public stuff

let's kill Liu's boss

aghhh, they found out about Joe being gay

10-2

Alex barging in and confronting the boss like that in front of everybody. I hate these men's need to publicly "defend" women and confront/fight men without actually asking the women they're defending what they want because this has consequences

had to work really hard to get into the comedy mindset for this sexual harassment storyline because usually... the serious topics are treated serious idk

pussy eating, let's go

oof, Mollie and Nim fight once again

I get Joe so much and it frustrated me that Army doesn't quite understand how much trauma Joe has because of his actions (similar to his bff Alex in that way who just jokes around with Jean as if he didn't fucking rape her)

and what about the puppy play? we doing that still? cuz idk if Ew can do with it?

Ah, Jean and Kat convo about Alex. I'm glad it wasn't messy

10-3

oof, no Kim, you did the right thing

there is no need to feel bad for Ice because he can have a baby couple years down the line if he still wants it after he's more settled

okay he finally mentioned that they can have a kid when they're ready

erotic foot massage, loll yas (+ a little servant roleplay?)

i'm so glad they're communicating, never been so happy to see erotic foot massage and puppy play

omg Jedi proposing (and this time the public proposal feels okay like it doesn't feel like pressuring Rose)

Jedi and Rose are sooo cute. maybe the fact that they have the least screentime & so the least conflict helps with that

10-4

I'm nervous

ooh, a Tony and Jean kiss

this is so fucked uppp, my poor Jean T.T

glad Tony turned out to be actually decent

Once again, I'm hoping Alex/Jean isn't endgame

polaroid photo of Alex's mother and Teacher Saran?

Watched most of this at 1.25x speed tbh

Ep 11 (Apr 26)

I'm really enjoying the show but I must be honest... I'm also kind of dreading it and just want to be done... The Alex & Jean is honestly A Lot for me and idk if they can handle it well and I'm not looking forward to Joe-Army and Mollie-Nim's conflicts either. I kinda wanna just knock out the last 2 episodes by tonight though because I just wanna be doneee

It'll be 1.25x speed for the rest of the show I think. I managed to watch the first 9 episodes at regular speed though

11-1

Ah, Alex's bio dad is actually their gym/sex-ed teacher

damn, we're going so fast with this storyline

dang, more than his mother, his father was the reason for the time travel with the camera gift

Tony and Kat could be cute

pls not the "what if I get dragged by your fans" mentioned

I get that Nim shouldn't have been so callous with Mollie by saying they can be friends but Nim literally had 1) Mollie kiss another boy while they dated and 2) had Bew walk out her while pregnant. I feel like her not opening up or easily trusting Mollie to be a good partner and parent makes sense

Mollie could've just said the stuff nicely as a confession instead of a fight

11-2

let's go Joe (incredibly easy fix for something serious though lol)

I don't get the point of the kicking crossbar thing but sure, ig Joe and Army have made up

girl okay wtf is this promposal from Alex to Jean, idkkkk I'm just not into it

glad Jean didn't say yes

11-3

aw, Jedi/Rose wedding

Army-Joe dance too, Joe overcoming his shyness

no way Ew is proposing right here smh

Tony and Kat are cute too, even if it's all going fast cuz the show's ending ig

I want Jean to be able to speak to somebody openly and honestly about being raped by Alex (like that's literally what it was), whether it be a therapist, a close friend, fucking confronting Alex, idc but it feels like Alex doesn't even give it the weight it deserves, idk

Alex requesting for Jean to get back with him like literally why bro just let the girl be, I beg

11-4

literally, like just let her live her life instead of fucking inserting yourself so boldly, and often so jokingly. i get that you wanna fucking climax and also go back to the future but it's so frustrating to have him want to get back with her romantically out of selfish desire instead of at least helping her altruistically

This is so devastating, I don't fucking want them together fr

omg, her telling him to go back to the past

I guess he's gonna go back in time and do things differently. I'm just glad that in this scenario with how things have played out, in this timeline how original Alex lived, Jean can't forgive him or get together with him. So I'm partially getting what I wanted.

Also interesting parallel with Alex's father who Alex is now refusing to give a second chance, to come into his life, because he fucked up big time as well and there's just no coming back from that to suddenly be a good dad or being involved with Alex's life.

Also, people in the YT comments or on reddit who are acting like "ohhh Alex didn't know, he can't be held accountable for that night/for not knowing about the pregnancy, Jean should've told him yada yada", fuck you like actually. She was a young woman who was raped by somebody she deeply trusted (idc that he was young and drunk and it was "unintentional" - doesn't undo what he did), then ostracized by the school while he was put on a padastal (and left his other friends to follow his popularity), then suspended, then found out she was pregnant at a time when abortion was illegal. It makes plenty of fucking sense to me that she didn't go and tell Alex what happened. It's not even like she was doing anything to Alex in the current timeline, he's the one who keeps inserting himself into her life and pursing her romantically despite her saying no multiple times (parallels?).

Ep 12 (Apr 26)

I don't really feel like watching this ep but I will because I just wanna be done bruh

1.5x speed idc

12-1

please Alex going around and being elated toward Grandpa and Ice who are like ?? lol

omg this is so funny as he gives everybody the advice they need 10 years in the future

12-2

bro there is noooo way they're gonna give Jean's iconic dildo defense rant to fucking Alex

bro you just went on a time travelling mission that taught you about your mistakes when you were drunk this night at this party, c'mon don't drink bruh

12-3

not the Liu-Ew and Jedi-Rose making out competition

Joe-Army have had more sex in public places than in private in every timeline

12-4

pls not the time jump again when he orgasms

Honestly, a pretty fun end and kind of makes me less upset at the other stuff. Like I'm still intellectually upset at it when I think about it, but I'm on a high from the fun stuff, so it doesn't feel as terrible as when I finished ep 11.

Overall:

A unique and enjoyable show, it was so fun to see all these characters in their specific situations and how they deal with them. The characters were all compelling, it's wild how I was into all their storylines. how charming each character/their story was, and how the story juggled them. It also made me see a bunch of actors in new lights, New most of all, as they acted in a role outside of their usual wheelhouse.

I think the most frustrating part for me was how it seemed like although they were getting at it, they never quite acknowledged that what Alex did to Jean that night was rape. It made me quite angry actually, especially how Alex's actions didn't feel like it actually took Jean's feelings and trauma and requests into account. I was at least glad that in that timeline, Jean doesn't get back with Alex.

Rating: 7/10

[nebulaleaf]

goodbye persona 5 royal. after 121 hours (140 on my switch profile) i got 69% of thieves den achievements, 99% in the compendium, and took 910 switch screenshots (third sem having a recording block really cucked me fr.) I think I did as much as i possibly could. despite my gripes this was my most fulfilling playthrough i've ever done of P5. i have a lot of bad things to say about royal but i really did have so much fun with it. getting excited over the new moves with the grappling hook (guessing where the cutscene would be and having fun being technical with chains de hook), making more strategic personas with fusion alarms, using all that extra time p5r gives as efficiently as possible. I loved maruki's confidant even if it ended in a kind of mediocre palace. he's just a fun guy who's so naturally inserted into the story it feels like he Should've always been there (except for the end). though its a shame because of how his confidant is structured in terms of topics, you cant easily insert it into p5 (its basically just a huge foreshadowing/ general set-up for the themes of 3rd sem). akechi's though... akechi's confidant and the addition of kichioji was WONDERFUL and i'd have killed for it in vanilla. im so glad for it. its such a fun place to explore and i love all the new npcs; penguin sniper was fun to play (though i hate playing with akechi, esp because its useless to) and jazzjin's gameplay elements were REAL FUN TO MAKE BUSTED ASS TEAMMATES WITH. no more what-ifs is also... a good song. i think i might even add it to my personal faves playlist. i'll have to sit down and listen to the ost when i don't have a headache. anyway there's probably a lot more good things i can say, but my head is kind of muddled rn lol. that post-game feeling fr.

ahh, but even when it comes down to the bad, like kasumi-- groaning every time she came on screen was fun in its own way too; whether it was laughing at the hilarity of it or coming to tumblr and grumbling about it with whoever was following along with my posts that day. honestly i just wish they tried a little harder with her and we got to know *sumire* instead of kasumi a little more. reading the interview where the devs admitted to her just being a marketing ploy and how they treated her as such really is crushing. its kind of a reflection of royal as a whole in a way to me. care *was* put in; i can see the heart behind a lot of this, but it's more focused on being flashy and appealing to those who missed the first wave of p5dom; or trying to draw back in those who have already played. which... is the point of a video game definitive edition, but kind of ironic when presented against the morals p5 seems to stand for. (or tries to, anyway. corporate meddling and cultural norms... this is still a video game that needs to sell.) i know i shouldn't treat silly anime game #685 that lets you date a maid-teacher as an 'art form' but i always felt p5 had a pretty solid and profound message. so to see royal trample p5 vanilla and then dance around wearing its skin is... certainly something. i know they're technically the same game, so royal has those messages too, but they get all tied up in the new stuff that royal brings forth (and doesn't deliver on. lmao. lol) on top of the already shaky at times writing p5 came with. i guess what im just trying to say is that royal's content is good... but it's being too much. and that just makes me really, really sad. despite all that, royal still kind of rekindled my love for p5 that was already present. every new playthrough for me lets me look deeper into what i like or neat details i missed; seriously i always find something new when i come back to this game. but this was especially true in royal. i found myself noticing when the tiniest detail was changed and it was always fun to compare them, even if it devolved into a tangent. i really only am disappointed like this just because I love persona 5 as a whole *so much*. its everything to me, so i want it to be the best it can be, yknow? anyway, thanks persona 5 royal. you've been a journey in multiple ways. try as i might, i won't forget you.

[tojisun]

Not me running on liquid courage again. 💀🥂

I mean we all know canon toji is an asshole ❤️, but domestic?!?! It just makes you wanna bash a keyboard 😗 like how can you not! It's so fucking frustrating! He IS beautiful indeed its frustrating!

🥺🥺🤧 ahh this response! I know I said thank you already but like 🥺 thank you. I'm happy you found a healthy outlet. It takes a lot to acknowledge when you're not feeling well AND to doing something positive about it, so virtual hug 🤧 bring it in 🫂!

I wish school systems would actually give a fuck and do a better job preparing students for uni (dont we all). Everyone has a different situation but uni will always be there. I mean they want your money loans, right?? Take all the time you need while you're in uni. This is just my experience, but I feel like this is really only one time where you'll have a chance to work on your adult life before it becomes an expectation.

I just miss being a student for leeway at work. 0h and bc I like learning.

Omg I feel you on a personal level. Taking a 18 hour semester and a +50hr job for WHAT!!! In the end, I changed my major when I had 3 more classes until I graduated, so i graduated in 6 years 🙃.

Truly, please be kind to yourself. We only have 1 fucking day in the week to not think about work. I'm channeling my spirit energy to you. I wish you the best! Please take care and stay safe.

(Sorry for any typos)

omg hey!!! howre u!! sorry it took a while for me to respond ahdjwjs

no no bc that’s exactly me!! canon toji was so much of an asshole that i had a hard time writing him being soft and domestic and kind (ie: my first established fic was toji leaving the reader for mamaguro bc ik that man would choose her in any universe </33) but then i was like fuck canon. i want toji who’s in love w the reader; toji who cares for the reader; toji who’s moved on and healed from mamaguro and loving the reader for them and not as mamaguro’s replacement!!!! (most of my fics tend to follow this au)

i remember when i was drafting one of my first fluff fics (not headcanon or drabble), one of my besties told me, “ur projecting.” like maam, do u think i dont know 😭 but yea i wrote my soft toji whose scarred lips are gentle when they kiss the reader because toji is so pretty, we need him being happy with reader!!!!

thank u so much for the hug!! ive been having severe bad weeks and i needed this <3333 hugs you tight too 😚

and absolutely!! my school did ok in preparing us for post-secondary; college did amazing in helping me transition from high school setting and into post-secondary setting; but fuck. uni is a whole different level. can’t catch a break fr like AHHSHSHH

but yes thank u so much for the advice!!! i can absolutely see what u mean. like rn, even if i have work and back-to-back lectures, i still have the opportunities to ask for time-offs to prepare for my midterms and finals and papers which has helped me greatly! the life experience is helping me lots while giving me some form of coddling and ik this wouldnt really last into (greater) adulthood so that kinda sucks :((

and omg u switching majors is nerve-wracking but amazing at the same time!! ik sm of my friends who just suck up with their majors even if theyre fr struggling so im glad that u were able to pursue something more your style. im sorry it took long for u to grad though but still!!! im so happy for uu!!!

and i will be kind to myself, i promiseee!! ive been doing better these past few days and hoping to have more kind days moving forward!

thank you again for this kind mssge! ur words and kindness truly means a lot to me. take care darling, and have a happy and safe drinking 🥹🫶🏼

[sungbeam]

HI BEAM! IT'S XNONIE! i'm really sorry for the little hiatus, but just know that i never forgot abt u :D

happy (incredibly late) new year!! hopefully 2022 was fulfilling & 2023 is better for u :D i'm looking back at our last convo (which was SUPER old... so sorry abt that <//3)

have u got to watch black panther 2 with ur family yet?? if u did, i'd love to hear ur thoughts on it!

ALSO OMG??? BAT FAM AU? I KNOW A LITTLE ABT THEM,, BUT I'M WILLING TO DO MY HOMEWORK WHEN UR FIC COMES OUT!! my dc biases are basically all of the bat fam & the teen titans <3 i wanna go further into the universe, but so far, i'm just stuck on them!! i really wanna go into their stories first before anything else. but if u really wanna know: nightwing & cyborg... are so... AHH!!!

ALSO STOP! THAT WANDAVISION AU IS ALREADY BRINGING ME TO TEARS! minghao is THE perfect candidate just b/c he seems so passionate abt the ppl he loves... and the way he talks abt having a family is so pure MY HEARTTTT

well... that's all i got so far!! have a great day, beam!

XNONIE BESTIE HI HELLO !!! long time no speak omg i hope all is well :') i've missed u so much <//3 but ofc dw abt it, pls do take all the time u need !! i will happily await ur return :)) anyways yES HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! 🎉🥂 i wish u a wonderful and fulfilling 2023 as well <3

ahducbjdbf lmao i actually forgot what i said to u last answer brb T-T i DID get to watch wakanda forever w my family !! it was so SO good omg like the whole movie's theme was grief, and being someone who's experienced a lot of it, i resonated w it and it hit me really personally :') long live the king, rip chadwick boseman (´Д⊂ヽ just makes me so incredibly depressed to know he's gone yk? and yeah, the entire movie was... really cathartic for me haha wbu??

AHHH NIGHTWING AND CYBORG (ﾉ´∀｀*) AYO DEF THO 👀 if you've seen the cyborg from that one animated justice league movie series *faints* the way DC characters are animated r just on a whole new level dude aidnkebfnd i tried to do a bit of research on the bat boys' back stories for the fic but they won't play in too much cuz i pretty much rebranded them all to fit my narrative 😅😅 i try my best to explain things as well ^_^

NO THE WAY MINGHAO TALKS ABT ONE DAY HAVING A FAMILY OF HIS OWN HURT MY SOUL OMG <///3 so sweet fr and ikr he would fit so well w the wanda trope like i have a few lines written and it's one of the most angsty things i've written ksnckenfk or it will be since the whole thing is kinda sad cries

in order to make this easy for both of us LOL i'll link my latest response to ur ask in my about me page where ur anon is listed!! have a lovely day/night xnonie and hope to talk to u again soon 😚💖

[noxtivagus]

REMEMBER that one cutscene in shadowbringers w. ykyk those two blondes 🥹

[4law]

❝ 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐓 ❞ — 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄 !

pairings : ace, crocodile, doflamingo, luffy, marco, mihawk, sanji, zoro x f!reader

contains : brat taming, brat taming, brat taming, dacryphilia, overstimulation, size and strength kink, degradation, teasing, mild belly bulge, mating press, choking, subspace / dumbification, + individual tags!

info : 3,000 words. smut. minors/ageless blogs dni. best in dark mode. reblogs are greatly appreciated!

filled requests : one & two. thank you!

— 𝐀𝐂𝐄 ｡ riding, mating press, teasing, size kink, “pretty”

“what’s got you so worked up today, huh?” ace coos, hands gripping the globes of your ass to roughly bounce you up and down his length. your mouth falls open at the fullness, your own nails digging into the muscles of his back to fight the moans threatening to escape your lips.

“you’ve been such a brat..”

he knows you won’t respond, and he knows you’re doing everything in your power to hold back your moans from him. you’re well aware that he’s addicted to the sounds you make, but you’d hate to admit that you just want to see what happens when the second commander of the whitebeard pirates gets impatient with you.

“well?” ace chuckles, shifting his thighs to bounce you deeper on his cock— forcing you to take the entirety of it as you choke out a moan. “you got a reason?”

the subtle smirk on his face widens a bit when he feels you struggle so hard to take him, lewd noises coming directly from your dripping cunt. he tilts his head to plant sloppy kisses down your neck, heavy breaths fanning against your skin.

you can feel his lips tug into a knowing grin. “ahh…i know,” ace whispers just below your ear, “did you just want an excuse for me to stuff with you with my dick?”

you don’t respond, but he doesn’t miss the way your walls tighten around him at the lewd suggestion. you want it bad, you want what he has to offer you, but you want to push him a little more.

“no response huh…” he feigns ignorance.

you’re suddenly flipped onto your back, ace’s muscular body looming over yours as his hands hold each thigh to your chest. “w-wait!” you stutter out.

“if you aren’t gonna respond, i’ll just have to make you show me your voice,” he coos, pressing your thighs up into a mating press to bury his dick back inside your throbbing hole. this angle is deeper, his cock reaching the deepest parts inside of you. “you like it like this, don’t you?”

“i know. because you always tighten up so much.”

ace’s gaze is fixated on your hole, watching it desperately try and swallow his fat length as he pounds into you with pure strength. he loves the sight of it, your juices dripping onto his cock and the way his balls slap against your body with each thrust.

“lemme hear it, pretty. all the cute noises you make for me when you cum. all of them.”

— 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐄 ｡ cunninglingus, overstimulation, is consensual, term “doll” and “brat,” hair pulling (his)

crocodile lets you act out. he lets you hold his head against your cunt, lets you grab a big fistful of his hair and violently tug him closer to you. with every tug, he narrows his eyes at you, a glare that you thought served as an empty warning, simply because he never pulled away from you, but you were wrong.

he lets you do as you wish, eating you out at your pace until you’re too fucked out to even hold his head anymore. that’s when he starts acting on his own desires.

his big arms are wrapped snuggly around your middle to keep you perfectly still for him, forcing you to let him eat you out the way he wants to. his tongue is moving all over your cunt, dragging the flat of his tongue roughly against your pearl before slurping at your slick, lips tugging into a smirk when your thighs tremble in his hold.

“you were suffocating me just a few minutes, doll,” he teases, watching your expressions.

“n…no more, crocodile, ‘m sorry.”

your words come out slurred, half lidded eyes staring at him, the one who’s settled between your thighs with his hands easily wrapped around each leg. your hand comes to grasp at his head weakly, only for his much larger hand to lace itself between your fingers, giving you a squeeze as a silent warning before pinning your arm off to your side.

“quit squirming, you brat,” he warns, eyes locking with yours before his lips tug into a smirk.

he absolutely loves this look on your face, the one you make when you’re fucked dumb, squirmy body finally still as you accept your fate and take what he has to offer.

crocodile tilts his head, resting his cheek on the inside of your thigh to look up at you through his lashes, chuckling when your cheeks fill with heat at his gaze.

“i’ll show you what happens to brats who act up.”

— 𝐃𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐎 ｡ tw dacryphilia, mild choking, term “slut,” size & maybe strength kink

on a normal day, just trying to take doflamingo’s cock was a challenge in itself. it takes a lot of prep, a lot of lube, and a lot of time before you can manage to fit even half of it in your little hole. today is no different, the thickness of his cock practically splitting you in half as it pummels the deepest parts of you.

a large hand slams over your mouth, muffling your sobs. “don’t make me so mad,” doflamingo coos into your ear, “how many times do i have to tell you?”

he lifts your smaller frame up with ease, until just the head of his cock is sheathed inside your cunt. “you know what happens when you make me mad, don’t you?”

you shyly nod, sniffling into your arm as he watches in amusement. he doesn’t hide the fact that he gets off to you struggling to take him, and the faces you make when your attitude finally breaks down— the face you make when you realize you never had a chance to take control of what would happen in the first place.

a loud squeal escapes your lips when doflamingo suddenly slams you back on his length, entire cock buried inside your cunt in one swift movement. “y-yes! i know what happens—” you hiccup, heat rising to your cheeks when he chuckles.

“that’s my little slut…you’re so smart..” he grins, finger hooking underneath your chin to force your eyes to lock with his. “tell me what happens when you make me mad.”

“i have to…t-take…whatever you give me..!”

there’s a short pause, and your stomach sinks when his tongue clicks at your error, hand wrapping around your throat in an instant. “wrong.”

“why…!”

he chuckles harder, not missing the way your walls clench so pathetically around the cock splitting you open. “it’s not ‘have to.’ he corrects, squeezing your throat gently until you squeeze your eyes shut and whine.

“you get to. it’s my gift. be sure to remember it, even after i fuck all the thoughts outta you.”

— 𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘 ｡ extremely mild belly bulge, luffy pins u down by ur hands & then ur stomach, overstimulation

luffy’s hand wraps around both of yours, pinning them high above your head as he pounds into you with swift thrusts.

“i said stop moving.”

his voice is just a bit lower than usual, a tinge of seriousness in his tone. he’s always relentless with you, hips moving against yours on pure instinct as your body sways up and down from his roughness, his figure reduced to a blur.

a heavy grunt escapes his lips, and his free hand pushes down on your stomach to keep you from arching. “i gotta keep you still,” he exhales, “or i’m gonna slip out.”

his breath hitches in his throat when he feels it. with the angle he’s pounding into you from, he can faintly feel the outline of his dick when he bottoms out, just barely able to feel it underneath the skin of your stomach.

“i’m d-deep,” he stutters loudly, wide eyes suddenly darkening at the thought of his cock so deep inside you. his pace doesn’t falter, and he adjusts his thighs to pound into you harder, to see just how deep he can really get.

you’re too overstimulated to even whine, let alone complain, and your eyes roll back as you let him hold you down and use you. he never even gave you a chance to be a brat, holding you down with so much strength that you have no other choice but to lay there and take everything he has to offer you.

you can never tell if he’s being selfish or selfless, but you aren’t able to think that much right now anyways. especially not after he’s just figured out how much you tighten for him when he applies a bit of pressure onto your front.

“stay still. i wanna get deeper,” he says, fingers coming to rub at your clit. “wanna see how much further i can go. and i wanna see your face when i do it.”

— 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐎 ｡ tw dacryphilia (extremely mild & just a mention), term “baby,” kisses, light choking

“you needa behave, baby,” marco sighs into your ear. “or do i needa teach you all over again?”

his eyes narrow in on the way your hole desperately flutters around his length, your legs wrapped around his hips to pull him in closer. he wants to take his time with you though, and you’re not letting him.

“did i not teach you well last time?” he coos, hips moving agonizingly slow against yours. “i thought i did…seeing you cry over how well i was fucking you…”

a deep groan escapes his lips when your walls tighten around his cock in response, fluttering eagerly around his length. “is that it?” he sighs, “you want that again?”

he chuckles when you nod, a visible pout on your face from how slow he’s going. you want more. you want him to pin you down by the neck and pound you with his full strength— not to say that the way his cock is slowly dragging against your walls isn’t already bringing you to the edge.

“all you had to do was ask, pretty.”

marco’s hand comes to wrap gently around your neck, half lidded eyes watching your expressions carefully as he picks up the pace, aiming to pummel the spot that has you seeing stars the fastest.

your jaw drops at the roughness, your thighs barely able to continue hugging his hips— so your arms come to wrap around him, pulling him onto you and accidentally pushing him deeper inside you. your eyes widen from the way he’s slamming directly into your cervix.

“d-deep!” you stammer out, eyes wide from just how far inside his dick feels, your cunt completely full each time he bottoms out. you arch your back, a futile attempt to escape the overstimulation he’s giving you, but his hand quickly wraps around your neck, keeping you pinned on his bed so he can have his way with you.

“well, that’s what happens when you latch onto me like a koala huh?” he chuckles, leaning down to prop himself onto his elbows as he plants wet kisses along your jawline.

“why don’t you spread those pretty legs wider for me? let’s see if you can feel me in your stomach.”

— 𝐌𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊 ｡ u sent him nudes while he was at a meeting, lingerie

“i was at a meeting.”

mihawk’s voice is low, holding both of your wrists behind your back with a single hand as he bends you over his dining table. “could you not wait until i came back?”

you can’t hide the cheeky grin spreading across your face. your curiosity got the best of you, wondering how the greatest swordsman would react if you sent him a photo of you in lingerie, black lace with green accents accentuating your curves so nicely for him.

and of course, you knew he’d be mad, but you didn’t know he’d look so hot like this. “can’t wait,” you retort, lips tugging into a grin when you think of an idea. “i haven’t been able to cum in a long time after all.”

there’s a brief moment of silence, your own stomach flipping at the realization that you just indirectly accused a warlord of not being able to make you finish.

you gasp when your thong is pulled upwards, lace slipping roughly between your folds as he tugs on it. mihawk sighs heavily above you, eyeing you with an unknown expression you wish you could see right now.

“you need to get put in your place.” he says flatly, letting go of the fabric to have it slap against your skin. a hand comes down to press on your back when you jolt upwards, keeping you flat against the table for him. “you’ve been too bold. sending me those pictures while i was out, and acting the way you are now..”

“don’t think that you’ll be able to come out of this room able to walk.”

— 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈 ｡ praise, “angel,” “my love,” cunninglingus

sanji is always so eager to please you. his hands are running up and down your sides, head nestled comfortably between your thighs. his eyes are focused on your cunt, grinning at the way you’re dripping— all of that for him.

“what am i going to do with you, angel?” he sighs, but you know good and well that he’s happy to take care of you.

your hands roughly tug at his disheveled hair, pulling him closer to your throbbing cunt, but he doesn’t budge. he’s gently massaging your tits, letting you relax in his touch.

“you just have to ask nicely, and i’ll give you what you deserve. say ‘please’ for me.”

you want to act up, you really do, but he’s so precise with his touches, fingers tugging at your nipples before lightly rolling them between his fingers, drawing the prettiest noises from your lips.

“did you hear me, my love?”

sanji slowly drags the flat of his tongue up your thigh, cock twitching at the way you shiver from it. “if you’re good for me, i’ll make you feel even better,” he whispers into you.

“p-please…sanji,” you mumble against the back of your hand.

his heart flutters at how cute you are, hiding behind your hand even when your legs are spread wide open to let him in. he lets out a chuckle— one only filled with adoration and love— before his hands hook around your thighs, pulling you flush against his face.

in an instant, two fingers are deep inside your cunt, curling them against your favorite spot as his tongue eagerly flicks over your clit. he knows your spots like the back of his hand, and he knows each reaction you’ll give him depending on where he touches you.

“see?” he says between licks, “it was easy, wasn’t it? now i’ll reward my angel.”

his fingers curl faster against your spot, pummeling it with frightening precision as you sob loudly.

“cum for me if you want your next reward.”

— 𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎 ｡ very heavy overstimulation, dumbification / touch of subspace

“what do i have to do for you to stop teasing me in public?” he snarls from where he’s looming over you, arms trapping you against his workout bench as he buries his cock inside your cunt. “huh? answer me.”

he didn’t intend on fucking the life out of you, but the sight of you, too overwhelmed by how he feels, only makes him harder.

your mouth falls open when he pounds into you faster, body rocking up and down with the force of his thrusts. he’s so big when he’s hovering over you like this, wide chest reduced to a blur as your eyes roll back.

“want me to bend you over your own bed and take you until you’re too dumb to think up these little plans of yours?”

he’s not sure if you can comprehend what he’s saying, but he continues anyways, bringing a thumb down to swipe over your clit roughly, drawing a loud cry from you.

“tell me. what’s it gonna take?”

“i don’t…i don’t know….” you sob, chest heaving up and down from the overstimulation. his pace doesn’t falter, hips brutally slamming into yours. “need me to fuck the manners into you? stuff you with load after load until you’re full?”

his hand dips down to squeeze your cheeks together, puffing your lips out as he makes you look at him. “where’d your sass go?” he snarls.

“you tell me, since you wanna be a brat so bad. what’s it gonna be?”

“z-zoro…needa cum..” you slur, half lidded eyes pleading with his to the best of your ability. “let me…”

he watches as your mouth falls open again, back of your hand covering your eyes as you lay there and take it. your cunt is barely able to keep up, dripping hole spreading to let him deeper inside and take care of you. “can’t talk anymore, huh?” he grins.

he cups the back of your head, lifting your body closer to his to let you cling onto him like a koala. “it’s too early for you to drift away though. come back.”

“i still needa teach you a thing or two.”

[rileythelonelyalien]

Hellouu

I come by to share some soft Dottore thoughts, if u don't mind. I have no idea why I feel so soft for this man (even though he is chaotic) I love him sm.

Imagine that after a long and tiresome week you decide to organize a little something for him. You would make a full dinner just for him, and prepare the glass observatory in the palace so the two of you could come to watch stars after dinner. So, you get the menu ready, for an entrance you could maybe make something with veggies? Perhaps a selva salad? Oh, and in honor of his Sumeru origins you consider making him a dish that you've heard he greatly misses from his homeland, some spicy butter chicken. As for dessert, maybe leave the Sumeru theme behind a make something simple but tasty, a strawberry Panna Cotta! Ohhh you were exited you wanted to make this dinner as perfect as possible. You had ordered the ingredients needed much before that night so everything was all set.

You start cooking and you're in middle of finishing the butter chicken but- you hear footsteps. Annnddddd you are busted!! Dottore gets pleasantly surprised with your gift and decides to join you in the kitchen. With two more hands everything is done quickly and the two of you soon enjoy your dinner together. After the dinner you confessed to him you had another surprise. You take the desserts and other utensils and put them in a picnic basket to take them to observatory.

You had prepared the place with candles, pillows and several blankets (bc snezhnayan nights are cold!!) The two of you sit down and enjoy the desserts as you share your knowledge about stars and different astros. Even though he know this sky is fake, he greatly enjoys the views the two of you enjoy together. Eventually you both feel sleepy and slowly descend into slumber as you cuddle to a wonderful view. "Ahh yes. This is what I call a perfect date~" you hear him whisper. "Thanks for all your efforts my love, I can finally rest well with you by my side."

(Ahhhh sorry for all the specific dishes! I enjoy cooking so I though a little date would be nice!)

Also, if you wish to write this, go on! But don't rush it, take your time and also rest a lot!! Have a great day/night!!! Tysm for all your works, they are so lovely!! (*＾-＾*）

Dottore x GN! Reader (underneath the stars)

A/N: oh my goodness annon this was such a cute thought honestly!! I can say that I agree with you : I cannot help but have a soft spot for this maniac of a man. I did decide to write this wonderful idea up so I do hope that I have done this justice and that you enjoy it I had so much fun writing this up :)) Also I very much appreciate the kind words about my other works it bring me so much joy to know that others are enjoying them !!!

Over the course of the week, you had noticed how both your and your lover's workload had become increasingly more intense. On your half the paperwork of fatui affairs began piling up on your desk as you tried to keep up with all these documents. Luckily for you the documents seemed to slow down after a few days or so leaving you time to catch up with the mountain of paper that resided on your desk. However, Dottore was running between his different labs within the palace, attending many more harbinger meetings , having to host speeches for the new fatui recruits in his unit and so much more the poor man was absolutely exhausted. Despite this however he managed to maintain his cool and intimidating front , honestly you were impressed but you got to see him behind closed doors when he would come back to your shared bedroom and collapse onto the bed lying next to you as he would turn over onto his back and lazily pull you into his arms and nestle his face into your hair mumbling all sorts of thing to himself as he fell asleep. Even his segments seemed to reflect just how exhausted he was , however this may be due to them having to deal with more tasks than usual as prime had to set more things aside to get to other more pressing matters. Some segments even came to your office where you work looking for you, often asking to hear some words of encouragement from you to help them keep motivated and even a lil kiss if they asked nicely. This only really worked with the older clones , the much younger ones would only splutter out a throwaway comment on the fact that they weren't ‘desperate’ or something along those lines before leaving your office in haste trying to conceal their flushed faces.

Having this happen a few times it began to make you think , your lover has been working tirelessly he certainly deserved to be spoiled for it , this lead to you grabbing a document that was useless to the fatui turning it over to the blank side as you began to make notes , brainstorming different ways to pleasantly surprise him. After meticulously setting each idea you had come to make your decision circling the one that you would go through with. To put this plan to action however you must begin immediately and so in one swift movement you had thrown your winter cloak onto your shoulder and headed out , grabbing a basket to carry things with you on the way out. But why did you need to go out? To go to the market of course as you needed to have fresh ingredients to prepare what you had in mind for your lover. The atmosphere in the market was joyous as always. The Shneznayan spirit never failed to create a close knit community with such a welcoming atmosphere. Although you had no time to revel in such a wonderful place you hurriedly ushered from stall to stall collecting only the best quality ingredients , you were glad you had made sure to bring some extra mora with you as you had accidentally went over your initial budget but it was okay because you had foreseen this and took a few more pieces.

Soon enough you had returned back to the palace , without a second to spare you quickly began to make your way to the kitchen. On your way to the kitchen you manage to bump into someone familiar. It was one of Dottore's' segments! Before he was able to greet you , you in a haste blurted out ‘Oh! This is perfect , I need you to keep prime busy okay? Don't let him go anywhere near the kitchen!’ Yet again before he could, he is able to open his mouth to respond to you, flash him a smile and begin to resume your speed walk to the kitchen letting out a loud ‘Thank you !’ before you disappeared around the corner. He stood there dumbfounded for a moment but then once he’d processed what had just happened. He straightened himself up and took this task assigned by you to heart. He was going to fulfil this task to the best of his ability , he may have to get some others to help him with this though. He set off , his original task unknowingly being overridden by your request as he set off to keep his creator's attention kept away from the kitchen or you for as long as possible.

Alas you had finally made it to the kitchen without having your cover being blown , a sigh of relief escaped your lips as you set down the hefty basket of ingredients. It collides with the counter top making a soft thud. You waste no time in removing your cloak and setting it aside and grabbing an apron and fastening it to your waist , you pull out the paper full of your notes out of your pocket and set it down. You remind yourself of what you had planned as you wash your hands and set out all the necessary utensils. Gently you lift each ingredient out of the basket inspecting each one just to double check that everything was up to standard you wouldn’t want to provide anything subpar quality. Once you were happy with each ingredient the cooking began. The first dish that you had planned was selva salad . something light before the main dish , cutting up various vegetables however to make it more exciting you managed to cut some of them in some fun shapes you smile at the thought of your lover reacting to this. Once you had assembled the salad you set it aside in a cool compartment in the kitchen so that the vegetables would stay fresher for longer. Once again you turn back to your notes as your finger runs across the paper you stop and poke a specific note you had made ‘aha!’ is all that left your lips as the smile on your face widens. You had overheard your lover talk about going to eat some Sumeru cuisine , when he was mumbling into your hair during the nights that he would come back absolutely drained of all energy. You had taken this into account in your planning and so you did some research a while back and found a very popular recipe in Sumeru : spicy butter chicken (you had also heard this dish also be mentioned by him on certain occasions in passing). Now this was going to be the main dish and although you were more proficient in baking you were going to give this dish your all , and it will serve as practice for expanding your culinary skills beyond baking. You take in a deep breath as you feel the determination fill you , this is going to be the most carefully crafted dish you will ever make. Everything must be perfect down to a T.

Meanwhile whilst you were making the main dish the clone you had tasked to keep Dottore away from the kitchen was beginning to struggle. Dottore was getting agitated with one of his experiments going awry and as a way to soothe himself he was going to get something sweet from the kitchen, having something delightful tasty seems to take his mind off his woes. He exits the lab without saying a word. The clone you had made the request to follow his creator out of the lab and noticed that he was heading in the direction to the kitchen. His eyes widened as he rushed over to his creator and stood in front of him blocking him from turning the corner which led to the kitchen without much time to spare he desperately blurted out ‘There has been an accident in the lab we require your assistance immediately!’. The desperation was almost enough to convince him … almost underneath his mask his eyes squinted at his younger self sending a piercing look that transcended his mask ‘Im sure you can handle it #347 you are in my likeness so you’ll be able to resolve the issue at hand’ With that he made his way past him and then as he was in the hallway of the kitchen he was hit with the exquisite smell of abundant spices , all of which were reminiscent of his homeland. He began to hasten his pace making his way to the kitchen to see who was in the kitchen. The clone followed close behind him as he tried to think of another excuse to get him to leave the vicinity but alas it was too late his curiosity has been piqued and there is no going back once that happens.

You were in the midst of finishing off the dish when you heard quickly paced footsteps approach the kitchen. You quietly listen to them as you hope that they pass the kitchen , you back faced toward the door as you stood by the stove. The silence filled the room apart from the bubbling of the sauce. The footsteps stop abruptly, your eyebrows furrow as you try to decipher whether they had gone past the kitchen or stopped by the kitchen , you slowly turn around and to your shock you are met with a familiar figure. That of your lover standing in the doorway staring at you , his mask covering his eyes so you are unable to deduce what he was feeling. You notice the clone in the back looking at you like a kicked puppy trying to signal to you that he tried to keep him away but failed. You feel your lips pressed together as you quietly say to yourself underneath your breath ‘busted…’ Despite this being said underneath your breath Dottore manages to pick up on it ‘Busted?’ he repeated back to you whilst making his way over to you. Before you say anything else you take the dish you were making off the heat and onto another part of the stove to prevent it from being forgotten about and potentially burning which would be even worse than being found out. You let out a sigh before coming clean to your lover , well almost … ‘Well I've noticed how you have been working recently and so I thought it would only be fair to treat you to some of your favourites’. You had purposely left out a key detail of your plan which was to take him to the glass observatory and observe the stars together. If you couldn't keep everything under wraps you might as well keep the most exciting part of it secret to preserve some of the surprise meant for him. As you had explained yourself to him, he had pulled the mask away from his face to be able to look at you directly , his crimson eyes stared at you , soft and exposing his amusement. Gently he brought his gloved hand up to your face, softly grasping your chin so that you are making direct eye contact with him. He hadn't said a word in response yet and the increasing suspense was starting to make you nervous. His signature pointed teeth showing themselves as his face began to turn into one of glee , a smile now gracing his lips before he leant down letting his lips come into contact with yours. He pulled away and pulled you into a firm hug his scent enveloping you feel his chest vibrate as he speaks ‘ My love, you truly are precious, too good for this for this world even’ This sudden praise from him catches you by surprise you chuckle at his antics ‘Well I'm almost done all I have left to make dessert , would you like to help?’ In these small moments you are able to see just how much he craves to spend quality time with you as soon as you propose this idea to him with no hesitation he agrees to it.

He pulls away from the hold he had you in and proceeds to take off his gloves and sets them down with his mask and prepares himself to be able to help you out in the kitchen. Whilst he was busy doing this you quickly went over to the entrance of the kitchen where the clone was still waiting patiently there ready to receive some sort of scalding from you , as you approach him you give him a soft patient smile to signal to him that you were not upset with him ‘ Hey , even if things didn't go as planned i still appreciate the help , no need to beat yourself up about it okay ?’ you raise yourself to the tip of your toes to signal you wanted access to his face , he promptly lowers himself so that you have easier access you give him a quick peck on the cheek and send him on his way before prime would have anything to say about it. Off the segment went holding the cheek that your lips had so kindly graced all giddy at this small show of affection he promptly disappeared around the corner presumably making his way back to the lab.

Once you turn back you see Dottore with spoon in hand trying the spicy butter chicken that was being kept warm by the stove. You smile to yourself when you notice how his face lights up once he tries it, even licking the spoon clean before going to get another spoonful yet this is interrupted when you clear your throat loudly to signify that you were watching. He turns to face you a mischievous smile etched onto his features, ‘I'm glad you like it my love but let's make sure there is some left when it comes to the actual meal hm?’ you tease him as you make your way to the counter and begin to gather the remaining ingredients you had procured earlier. You feel your lover snake his hands around your waist as he pushes his body up against yours behind you as he then speaks into his ear ‘ So my dear what were you planning for dessert?’ he asks as he proceeds to rest his head on your shoulder , you smile at the affection as you reply to him ‘ Oh I was thinking of making some strawberry panna cotta !’ he lets out an approving hum although really anything you would've said he would have agreed to in his eyes your cooking was beyond anything the most proficient chefs of teyvat could muster. You had set Dottore to be in charge of the panna cotta itself whilst you focused on the strawberry sauce that would go with said panna cotta. He stood by the stove patiently observing the mixture of milk cream and sugar in the pan making sure to take the right steps and add the right ingredients at each stage. Cooking was similar to science experiments however the product was always edible and in most cases absolutely delectable. You were at the counter carefully cutting each strawberry and discarding any that would not be of use , the both of you even if not saying anything completely absorbed in the task that they were doing it was still pleasant to know that the other was there with them in the same room. It was comforting.

The two of you combined what you had created separately to form the most delicious looking dessert you've seen. A proud look now over taking your features as you look at your lover to signify that you appreciated his help with this. In return you received a soft smile of his.

Now that each dish was prepared you had plated each one of them and moved it to the dining room which resided just opposite the kitchen. However there was something you needed to take care of before you were able to enjoy this meal with Dottore. There Dottore sat patiently waiting for you to return the smell of all the food enticing him to begin to eat and yet he waited for you he wouldn't dare begin without you. You returned back to the dining room promptly looking quite flushed almost as if you had been frantically running up and down a set of stairs. As he observes your features he raises his eyebrow at you , but decides not to comment on it. Trying not bring attention to the fact that you were out of breath you sit down in the seat that resided next to him before the two of you enjoy the fruits of your hard work , Dottore savouring each bite as he is reminded of his homeland and what better yet it was made by the hand of someone he truly and deeply cared for. It was truly a moment of bliss for him. You had managed to time this perfectly as Dottore and as you were finishing off the last few bites of your dishes you noticed that it was starting to get dark outside , you couldn't help but get excited as you wondered at what his reaction to the other surprise you had in store for him.

Your train of thought is cut off as Dottore speaks ‘Dearest did we leave the dessert in the kitchen?’ he inquires. All you could do was smile at him and respond ‘ No, my love it's right here although I must confess this is not the entirety of what I had planned come with me’ The dessert was securely stored away into a basket that you had next to you and with that you stood up from your seat basket in on hand and your other outstretched for Dottore to take. Gently he grasped your hand as he stood up to follow you wondering just where you were going to take him , to be truthful he was feeling excited , although he would never say it aloud. The both of you make it up to the glass observatory at the perfect time, the sun had just set and the night sky was decorated with the wondrous twinkle of far away stars. You set the basket down as Dottore's attention is brought to the soft glow of the candles illuminating your face setting a soft glow that accentuated all your features. He chuckles to himself as he sits down next to you falling onto the pillows that were strewn out for comfort embracing the warmth the candles provided. ‘I know it can get a bit cold so here take this!’ you brought out a few thick blankets which he took and proceeded to drape over the lower half of his body as you proceeded to do the same with another blanket. He for some reason couldn't take his loving gaze off of you , not even when the clinking of the glass jars filled with dessert rang through the quiet observatory and the utensils clanged against each other as you handed him his share of the desert. The smile on his face warmed his body much more efficiently than all the candles and blankets could.

It was perfect even if you were busted early on into your plan everything still went amazingly. The panna cotta turned out to be wonderful and so sweet , once the both had finished off the dessert you placed all the jars and utensils back into the basket to be washed later on. You both made yourselves comfortable grabbing all the pillows that were all about laying your head against it and wrapping up warm in the blankets as you looked up to watch the mesmerising twinkle of each dot in the sky. Dottore followed suit laying down next to you, bringing your figure into his arms resting his head on top of yours every now and then leaving a few kisses there too. He found your infatuation with the stars to be so adorable and even if he knew that the sky was face he was still willing to keep lying about it in order to keep that smile on your face. At some points he would point out to you certain clusters of stars or even constellations and tell all the interesting facts and information he had on them. Hearing your inquisitive questions and gasps of disbelief over some information he truly relished your presence he really would rather be nowhere else but here. This continues for some time until you begin to feel the drowsiness to settle in as your speech gets more slurred as you are slowly descending into a slumber. Just as you are about to completely fall asleep something catches your attention ‘Ahh yes. This is what I call a perfect date~’ you hear him whisper quietly to himself. ‘Thanks for all your efforts my love, I can finally rest well with you by my side.’

[chill-pills-yandere-haven]

God is Underpaid, Overworked, and Touch-Starved. Triple Threat! Pt.2

An: Not as yan over here (mainly because we are missing a few details from a different perspective) but we get more genshin charas in. Also, do we like the Araashita povs? (I write for myself so if I can pump one out and I like it I'm definitely posting it, but what do you all think?)

Tw:Religious themes, yanderes, tell me if I missed anything

And you were still falling.

How high up did you fall from? Was gravity even working right now? You stopped screaming after about ten of the longest seconds of your life. Honestly, at this point, you wanted to hit the bottom.

Whatever the bottom was.

"-ao! Gt then!" Words were being shouted, yet were too jumbled to know what was happening. You just kept falling.

And falling. Maybe hitting the bottom wouldn't be so bad.

And falling. Maybe death was at least a little better than being cooped up inside all the time, your only friend a damn AI.

And falling. How pathetic could you be?

Until you weren't.

There was a deafening woosh resounding in the air. Despite still being in mid-air, someone caught you. Their husky voice murmured something to you as they somehow slowed your fall.

Eventually, you touched the ground.

Carefully, the figure that saved you put you down. Leaving you to stumble onto the ground, somehow getting your knee caught on something.

"Ow, oww!" You gave a small cry as you pulled your knee out. It had gotten caught on some thorns resulting in a paper-cut-like wound. Curiously, what dripped out appeared to be liquid gold instead of blood.

"What the- did I drink my vodka instead of water?" Seriously considering the possibility of you being drunk off your mind, you failed to notice the oos and awes of the people surrounding you.

"It is them! It's the creator!" Cheers erupted in the small audience, causing you to look up from your thorn scratch.

Someone was kneeling in front of you, a hand out for you to take. W-wait, was that, Zhongli? You rubbed your eyes with your hands and blinked for a moment. Yep, definitely the a-hole that gave you a straight seven hours of work trying to buff his attacks.

"My grace, please allow me to take you to your abode. I can carry you if you wish," Zhongli spoke... What the hell? You guessed that you not only mistook your vodka for water, but also that you somehow developed a weed addiction despite never using weed in your life. Zhongli had a soft and gentle yet loving tone?

You took his hand anyway, you felt like you were going to faint and die at the same time. Carefully, he picked you up bridal style and began to take you somewhere.

Somewhere along the way you had fallen asleep, now tucked into a ginormous and comfy bed with many pillows and blankets.

How much time had passed? Groggily, you opened your eyes, rubbing them.

"Oh, crap, how much time did I spend asleep!? Ahh, I need to get Ayato done!" With the thought of Ayato, you sprang up from the bed, only to be gently pushed down by someone.

"My creator, please be at ease, you are safe here. If you need anything, I am but your devoted and waiting servant," Yep, Zhongli was still here.

"Also, if I may ask, who is this Ayato you speak of?" At the mere mention of Ayato, you groan. Did you find Ayato to be one of the most attractive characters yet? Yes. Did you find his spaghetti code as attractive as his abs? Hell no.

"Hydro bitch boy from Inazuma who can't pick a damn struggle and stay with it. Probably also fucks his servants... Just saying, you never heard it from me!" Zhongli was of course even more confused with your wording, but you were probably still high so that didn't matter. You could see him blush very visibly when you said that last part.

Zhongli then looked over to the clock on the side of the room. Well, you thought it was a clock anyway, it seemed to be going backwards and had weird symbols on it.

"Your grace, it is almost time for the welcoming ceremony we've planned for you. If you would like to, you can change into any of the outfits of the seven nations prepared for you in that wardrobe there. It is perfectly fine if you choose not to as well, you look wonderful in anything you wear," Zhongli gave you an adorable smile that honestly made you screech at how cute he was.

Thump, thump, thump.

Holy hell, was someone running to here? Zhongli suddenly brought out his spear and shielded you both, muttering something about the security.

The door flung open, revealing a panting...

Araashita?

Ok then, high, drunk, and probably a lab rat for a new hallucinatory drug.

Considering that everything you do in this hallucination probably won't affect your real-life... You can do whatever you want!

With that knowledge, you ran up to Araashita and embraced him. You could practically hear Zhongli's confusion as he deactivated the shield.

"Mm, nice. Damn, best lucid dream, high or drunk experience I have ever had," You muttered to yourself as you rubbed your face into his chest, God he smelled good.

Muffled yells and bangs came from the outside room, making you flinch even closer to Araashita.

"Oh, uh, I um kinda... Broke into your room here so yeah. Also, they see you as God so they think of me as a threat to your safety, and they most likely want to kill me so I kinda made an invisible wall by coding it in, I'll remove it after, I promise. But what I'm trying to say is that we have like seven to ten people banging on that door trying to kill me, oops!" Araashita gave a sheepish smile as he explained.

You began to walk towards the door.

Araashita gave you a little look of caution until you smiled back at him. You grabbed the doorknob and twisted.

A couple of meters away were almost fifteen Genshin characters frantically attacking the air that acted as a wall between them and your door. You let out a small chuckle. When they saw you, they only got even more aggressive in their attempts to destroy the wall.

"It's okay everyone! This is Araashita, he's one of my friends," You explain to the array of game characters that just gets more and more confusing to look at.

Albedo, Kazuha, Venti, and Aether seemed to be trying to combine their elemental skills to get over the wall. Childe and Keqing were trying to hit the wall as fast as they could. Kaeya was leaning on a wall as though he knew this would happen. Then there was Barbara, who was singing to the wall?

"Ahem," You prompted Araashita to step forward and to delete the wall. Begrudgingly, he made a couple of swiping motions with his hand, showing a screen, doing something with it, and moving it towards you. It was a floating screen with a keyboard under it, something you had only seen in sci-fi movies. On it showed the game files, the code all laid out for you to see. In a bright highlighter yellow was the code for the wall. Araashita had coded it to be indestructible and too thick for any characters to clip through.

With a sigh, you simply selected the code and deleted it. This action caused Kazuha to fall from the makeshift tower he and the others were using to get over the wall. Luckily, the samurai boosted himself up with another burst of wind, landing gracefully.

"Oh, dear creator, we are so grateful that you are okay. How do you feel, how's that scrape feeling?" Venti was the first to speak up, his eyes lit at the sight of you.

"I'm okay, but I guess I'm kind of confused. I get that I'm having some sort of high drunk fever dream experience here but where the hell are we? I'd be disappointed if this wacky dream didn't make at least a little bit of sense." You were fully convinced that you were hallucinating, so what was the worst that could happen from letting your hallucinations know that they were, well, hallucinations?

"We are in an underground cave system I created. Right now, we should be somewhere along the borders of Liyue and Mondstadt. Your grace, I should also inform you that this is not any sort of 'high drunk fever dream experience'. Everything you are going through now is completely real, your grace. Your scraped knee should be sufficient proof of this," Zhongli explained to you with the clarity and conciseness of an advertised product of Grammarly.

Wait, did he say everything was real?

Crap.

Zhongli also said something about an injured knee though, meaning that if you touch it and it doesn't hurt then this has to be a dream!

You rolled up the pants you were wearing until your knee with the scrape was exposed. The scrape was a lot different than any normal scrap you had had before. Except most of it could be attributed to the fact that the dried blood of the scrape was gold instead of crimson which probably alarmed you the most.

Pressing on it just a bit, you felt a sting of pain. Meaning this was entirely real.

You should probably be figuring out what this is if not a wild hallucination then. Right? Yeah.

Yeah no. You just decided that if you were supposedly the God of a video game, you weren't going to waste your time looking for explanations. You were going to do whatever the hell you wanted.

Didn't Zhongli also mention something about a ceremony or something?

Time to party!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY

See also:

Emotional Love Making || [MOBILE POST]

Emotional Love Making Pt. 2

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.