#ah. my cocktail medley of mental illnesses and literally a decade plus stint of literally hitting rock bottom and digging. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pendraegon · 2 years ago

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also. maybe it's because i was a hot fucking mess until i hit like 25-26. so im like...how are you 22 and having your shit together. genuinely like. if ur 22 years old and u have even an OUNCE of an idea of what you're doing. you're doing fucking golden. if you don't, you're still doing fine and there's an entire world waiting for you.

#ah. my cocktail medley of mental illnesses and literally a decade plus stint of literally hitting rock bottom and digging.#idk i think like. the older get the more i realize there's no official one and done buzzer to get yourself into gear you know?#it used to be something that troubled me for so so so long. but like......i dunno. every day is another day i never expected to be alive #for and i can make it in my own time at my own pace with my own needs and in the end. who can really judge my life in its entirety but me?#sorry im rambly today im just thinking of what i would say to 22 year old me who was.........so so so so different and upset and confused #and heartbroken and wondering if i should've died when i did. you know? i wonder what i could do that would have helped even and im not #saying that pain makes you stronger or whatever bullshit but. it gives you perspective perhaps. im 27 and i still feel young and stupid all #the time. i bet i'll be 48 and feel young and stupid too. and that's a comfort to me.

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