#ah yes......sharing earbuds just like the good ol days.......

[tomwambsgays]

well, i don't really listen to music, as such… but i'd like to...

[gossipcom]

Player’s Own Voice - Tessa Virtue (Transcript - please credit)

Player’s Own Voice - Tessa Virtue (Transcript - please credit)

She’s half of Canada’s greatest ice-dancing duo, the most decorated figure skaters in Olympic history, and now Tessa Virtue has sashayed from amateur glory to a dazzling professional career. When she and Scotty Moir and the cream of figure skating aren’t performing to packed houses, Tessa has advocacy work, and endorsements and campaign partnerships, almost too many to name. She is simply everywhere. Put on the earbuds it’s time for a cozy chat with the one and only Tessa Virtue.

AB: It’s Player’s Voice I’m Anastasia Bucsis. Are you more athletic or artistic? Because it seems like incredible success in figure skating but you also have this other side, fashion, media, everything, like where does your passion lie now?

TV: Hmm. I think it is still in the balance between the two and that’s what I always loved about skating, you know, it was so technically demanding, um, and yet the artistry and the art that accompanied that, um, allowing people and hopefully connecting with people so that they feel something was always a driving force for both Scott and me. And now I think the balance is more about, you know, business and art, um, which is not so different really, but I’m learning so much, it’s been a steep learning curve. In fact I’ve been studying a little bit and I hope to pursue that a little more next year but I’m sort of learning on the fly and I get as much joy as negotiating a contract as I do, um, designing a new pair of eyewear for Bonlook, you know, I think it is all sort of that marriage between the two and I feel so lucky that I get to do both.

AB: I love the artistry and athleticism of figure skating. I said that to Jo(annie) Rochette (Tessa laughs), she was on the podcast and she was like ‘what I didn’t know you were such a figure skating fan’ and I that is what I love about FS it is so physically demanding but so artistic. I remember watching Oksana Baiul win in 1994, I want to be a figure skater but my parents didn’t allow me to do it they knew I was going to be too tall.

TV: Well, and in your world you had to do the same motion as in our league(?).

AB: Yeah but it’s not very artistic.

TV: So did you find an outlet to find, to, to sort of feed that creative part of your soul?

AB: Yes and talking about the balance and getting pleasure out of having a business deal or creating glasses, I have a little stigmatism so I might need some of those glasses.

TV: (laughs) get in there right.

AB: How do you d that now going from preparing for the Olympics to seemingly a million projects?

TV: it’s strange and no matter how prepared you are I don’t think you can fully anticipate the feelings and emotions that come with a post-Olympic sort of crash or transition if you will. I mean I ticked all the boxes. I had school, I had a great support network, I had success, that we, you know, we stepped away from competition whether temporarily or permanently (laughs) on our own terms. I mean I was so, so fortunate and privileged to be in that position but also I had opportunities and yet still there’s that inherent, just void, I think when you, when, you know, when you’ve worked for something with (sigh) singular focus and you invest everything, every moment of your day is filled with ruins of will this help me win the Olympics. Um, and then, and then you are sort of thrust into this world where you are trying to do one different things and maybe not that well (laughs) and then there’s, um, ah, no chance, to sort of insulate yourself in that protected bubble in order to pursue a dream. Ah, there are a lot of shifts and challenges in the last year, but also, really surprising highlights because it’s also refreshing and liberating to, to sort of feel that pressure come off and slowly and I can almost feel it tangibly as the days go by, that I am feeling less and less of that stress and I didn’t realise what a heavy weight that was to carry, um, that Olympic, you know, pressure.

AB: Olympic pressure, fame, how lonely is that?

TV: It can be isolating, it can be, um. I feel so lucky because, you know, people ask what changes when you win the Olympics, are you a different, you know, what changes in your life do you feel different? The reality is nothing really does so I have a great group of friends, um, my family has always been really supportive and I mean I am so sort of caught up in work that there aren’t many opportunities to even face that. In fact, I think when I am on my own I kind of embrace it. It can be isolating because sometimes I feel caught, in this, balancing act of, of wanting to be vulnerable and honest and then also not wanting to sound ungrateful or complain right and um, as a private person also just managing how much of yourself do you give to others and how much do you keep for yourself and wanting to share my story and have some kind of impact on others specifically young girls and athletes. You know you have to put yourself out there a little bit and that sort of comes with the territory.

AB: And that is exhausting too. I mean when I was struggling with my mental health that was, really you just summarised it. I am skating around in a circle for a living, I am making good money and I get to see the world and all my college is paid for, you know, what do I have to complain about? So, I completely identify when you say you know, I don’t wan, I don’t want to come across as ungrateful because you have had a lot of opportunities.

TV: What as the impetus for you to come out and speak openly about your mental health?

AB: I never want anyone to feel like they’re alone and I don’t want anyone to feel that way because I felt so incredibly alone. I felt that when I was in the closet too, really struggling and I think vulnerability and human connection is one of the only things that will never go out of style.

TV: Right and we’re all craving that now, you know, the ability to really connect on a deeper level and I think that’s something, it’s so empowering and you’ve impacted so many people just by using your voice. I think that’s admirable.

AB: Thank you of course. What do you not do in public now though? (Tessa laughs) What can you not do in public?

TV: That’s a good question. I’ve never been a good partier so that was always conscious of, not being photographed something like, with an alcoholic beverage or something.

AB: I have tried to get you drunk so many times. (both laugh)

TV: I’m sure it’s worked on occasion but, um, you know, that’s not really been a sacrifice for me, I think, what don’t I do public that is a good question

AB: This is one question that I don’t even know where it fits in but type of toothpaste does Tessa Virtue use? Like do you?

TV: (laughs) Colgate.

AB: Yeah a big wink. But what are you cheap about, when you go to the supermarket and you’re like toilet paper is on sale are you getting that sale?

TV: (laughs) Um, I don’t find myself in a grocery store that often because I’m not home a ton, but I don’t even know. I, okay I‘m going to flip that, because one thing I will always indulge in, I will always have fresh flowers at home that is something I treat myself too.

AB: I like fresh flowers too.

TV: Yeah and certain things when I’m on the road whether it is candle soap, lotion, like things that make me feel like I’m in my comfort or home environment, right.

AB: I steal the lotion from hotels. I have so many little hotel things and that I’m making money. (laughs)

TV: Do you have a favourite?

AB: Um no, you know what, probably just the good ol’ like Ramada, whatever they use.

TV: Classic. (Laughs)

AB: That is my go to. So Scottie was on the podcast and I’ve pulled a quote, ‘at times I didn’t know how to handle my relationship with Tessa’, what do you he meant by that?

TV: (beat) I’m not sure. I think in any case where you have a partnership that spans over two decades across the early childhood years, teenage, you know, into our twenties and now thirties. Of course there are complexities that are hard to comprehend and it’s all we’ve known. So it’s also really hard to have any really objective perspective on it, until, maybe there’s an outsider you trust to weigh in, like a sports psychologist or a mental prep coach that we worked with. But, I think probably in the pressure to identify what that partnership meant to us and how it could be labelled or how it could be relatable for others to really understand maybe that is where that confusion comes in. Because it’s something that we’ve really valued, and cherished and nurtured. We’ve really worked hard at that partnership and that relationship, um, but when you’re so in it, I think perhaps we’re the people who understand it the least.

Audio clip – If you wanted characters you got characters. If you wanted feeling, well you drowned in it.

AB: Pretty interesting. Because you guys are quite a bit different too.

TV: Oh, we’re so different. Yeah there’s, talk about balance right, at the beginning, that really what works for us.

Audio clip – They are the greatest ice dancers of their generation, maybe of all time. The incomparable Virtue and Moir.

You know, we’re, we’re such different people, but put us on the ice together and that’s our safe place. That’s where, no matter what is happening we come together and work towards a common goal and we really feed off each other. I mean Scott’s all heart, he’s, he’s such a feeler and I’m in my head and, you know, we can bring out the best in one another and with that nurtured level of support that we’ve given each other, we really are our best when we are on the ice together. And even now to sort of step back into that world and, and feel that comfort and ease. And we had, sort of a break of, seeing each other and skating together, um recently and we got back on the ice and started stroking together and Scott said ‘it’s like a security blanket’ and, you know, there’s some comfort in that.

AB: Your differences obviously in that you can just feed off it. At times did that breathe chaos? Like were you too different, how did you keep that manageable?

TV: I think that the pursue something like an Olympic Gold breathes chaos because there are so many moving parts and so much expectation on ourselves and from others. But when we really fundamentally, started to understand that we processed things differently and approached things very differently we were able to sort of separate that and always come together and say, this is, this is how I am interpreting your actions right now, true or false, and give the other person a chance to explain or, you know. I think, if anything, we are maybe a little bit too protected of one another because we’re the team that, you know, if something happens and doesn’t go very well I’ll say ‘I’m sorry that was my fault’ and he’ll say ‘no, no it was me.’ So I think we to great lengths to ensure that we both feel confident and comfortable on the ice.

AB: you guys will forever be linked together, it has given you a million opportunities. But how difficult and I’m sure you’ve been asked this one million and I apologise for a million and one. First date, how often you asked are you dating? I mean when you go on a date is that what everyone asks you?

TV: Well, I hope I’m not saying yes to any date and then they think that I’m somehow still in a relationship with Scott? (Laughs) I think anyone coming into my life in that capacity knows the situation with Scott because, um, I mean there’s no hiding and there’s, it’s been since I was seven. So it would come as no surprise to anyone, I have a meaningful partnership with Scott.

AB: Let’s go back 2010, 2014, 2018, what’s your favourite Olympic moment?

TV: As an athlete, nothing beats being on the ice in PyeongChang, we were so laser-focused and dialled and so incredibly prepared and just different athletes. We were mature, we had a different approach, a different team with B2Ten, we were, we really were unstoppable and that feeling was palpable and that electricity, it almost felt like a home games, because there were so many Canadian flags and supporters. I would say as an entire experience, a month long experience, Sochi (laughs), which often surprises people because often people avoid the Sochi subject with us, they think oh maybe it’s a point of contention. But really it was such a beautiful moment in our career, we came together we were proud of our performances, there was something about the team, it was so tightly knit, the Olympic bubble was easily accessible, I mean you could get to so many events. I don’t know there was just, it was so much fun, I, I often say it was the best month of my life.

AB: Sochi was the best time of my life.

TV: It was.

AB: I am the happiest I think I’ve ever been right now, but for an actual experience, Sochi. Like 52 billion dollars, oh my God, we can never do that again, talk about Olympic excess, I’m ashamed about that. But for just fun, the women’s hockey team winning. Like the team was a family, I don’t even know how to.

TV: Is that what it was, do you think that

AB: The team

TV: Yeah because it was special?

AB: In Vancouver we were treated like rock stars and it was unbelievable. But there was, the one thing about Vancouver is that we were Downtown essentially, so you could go on one of those electric bikes and be surrounded by 100,000 drunken Canadians all being super pumped up, but you kind of got, the team aspect kind of got lost in all of that because everyone was visiting family. But in Sochi there was nothing to do.

TV: There was only

AB: Well there was

TV: Two places, mostly Swiss House really. (laughs)

AB: So when everyone was finished competing, Russians like their vodka that’s yeah (laughs). Sochi being the highlight for party culture, PyeongChang being

TV: You said party culture by the way. (laughs)

AB: (laughs) PyeongChang being the highlight for, for sport. Um, what was your weakest aspect of being of being a figure skater do you think?

TV: My weakness as a skater? Oh geez, I mean how long do we have here. I feel like I could go on and on about all the things I would still like to improve upon in my own skater. Whether that is posture or power, ability to express specific styles of movement, there’s so much I wish I did better, I wish I could do better. But that’s what keeps us going, even in us preparing for our upcoming tour this Fall, it’s the idea that we still have more potential to explore and more in us to give and I realise that in the PyeongChang preparation that for my whole career I was striving for that performance that I would feel that I had really perfected and nailed it. As great as Moulin Rouge felt on the ice in Korea, I knew that even at time that I would look back and wished I had done some things differently, because that’s just the nature of the beast when, when you’re in a subjective sport like that. I will always watch that video and wish my hands were differently, or wished that I moved my upper body in a better way or something, but I’ve sort of had to come to terms with that and I think, in that by itself is kind of beautiful because you sort of have to accept the moment, given all of the factors surrounding the 4 minute performance it is the moment you could create and that’s sport, that’s what I loved about it.

AB: How has growing as a figure skater, obviously being judged affected how you live your life?

TV: As I approach thirty..

AB: (whistles) That’s me too, baby girl.

TV: (laughs) I have such a better understanding of who I am and what I stand for and what my purpose is and can be and how I see myself and that’s what I place most value in are those, now most closest to me, you know. It’s affected, I think it forced me to do a lot of self-reflection and, and forced me to analyse what’s really important and so often (laughs) it’s not what we look like or, um, how we present, it’s about how we make people feel and how we empower and I feel so much more comfortable in my skin now and I’m grateful for that. And I think it’s probably because I was in a judged sport for such a long time and I had other people deciding my fate and success and that was, you know, sort of the benchmark you aimed for, but it’s in the hands of others. And at some point, you just have to think, okay, it’s not the colour of medal that will dictate the kind of person I am.

AB: Do you ever feel pressured to answer questions the way you know people want them answered?

TV: Not really Ah, not really, because I’m not sure I know how people want them answered. I was sort of conscious and careful to not become that robotic, that sort of, you know, I gave 110%. We always wanted to give people insight of what was happening, but at the same time I mean you can only share what, what you’ve come to terms in your own head. And that no matter what, I mean it was important to be sort of genuine and so I’m not even sure if I still know how to answer things but I’m honest it comes from a place of authenticity, then I think that intention, I hope comes through at least.

AB: I sometimes feel pressure when people about the Olympics because I feel like I need to tell them the little nugget about playing ping pong and beer pong with Sidney Crosby. You know what I mean?

TV: Yeah right

AB: How is it like with the NHL boys? Oh Mark Andre Flurry is really nice, you know?

TV: Right, you want to give, you want share your experience but that’s nice and I think that is something that Canadians crave. But do you feel a little bit of pressure when people talk about your success and accolades or things that come along with that?

AB: People don’t speak about my success much. (Laughs).

TV: Well they should, your, your career was formidable but I, I, sometimes I think there’s a pressure, if anything, just to, for it to remind us how much work it takes, right.

AB: Yeah.

TV: Because if you are going to be a role model, people need to understand, it’s not just about the podiums and the sponsorships, it’s all about all of the work, and the resilience, and the sacrifice, the and deprivation and everything that goes into it. So if anything is shining some light into that end, to ensure that there’s a greater awareness of the holistic (laughs) approach to their career maybe.

AB: I think you must be one of the hardest working athletes I have ever met and I am every celebrating every sponsorship and opportunity (laughs) that you got post-Olympics.

TV: Yeah.

AB: Um, I hope you are making at least 15 dollars an hour, because you work so hard.

TV: Thank you.

AB: Again you have not taken one breath, um, you haven’t taken a breather. Going from competition to shows, from amateur to professional, how does that change your goals, does it change your goals, does it change your relationship with Scott?

TV: It changes everything and nothing at the same time. It, it, ah, we’ve had to redefine what it means to entertain, you’re sort of entertaining the masses instead of 9 judges and yet sort of satisfy some creative need in you as an artist. So it’s sort of finding that, um, precipices of challenging yourself enough so it is satisfying and rewarding, but also playing to your strengths and playing the hits (laughs) so that the audience is getting what they want and what they’re expected. I’m not sure if we’ve found that yet, but we’re playing with it and it’s changed with that. I’m trying to do self-analysis, you know, even though I’m just back on the ice these days. You know, how do I feel in this realm? And I miss the benchmark of being the best and I certainly miss being at our best but I think that’s okay if, if we’re not, because the goal has shifted. We’ll never be at the Olympic peak again and we’re so lucky we get to do our sport and craft for an extended period of time. I am, I’m sure that every sport and athlete wishes they had that chance so I don’t want to waste it but that’s part of why we wanted to produce our own show and tour. So it wasn’t just four minutes that we had to tell a story, it was two hours that we could bring people along with us and control the lights, the ambience, the music and the flow of things and I think we can dive into a project like that and invest and commit, that it, that is more fulfilling than throwing on a costume and doing an one-off.

AB: You and Scott have ushered in this new renaissance/ Golden Age in figure skating. I mean I don’t think it has been this popular since Tonya Harding.

TV: (laughs) Well thanks. There was something certainly towards the PyeongChang Games, I’m not sure maybe because the NHL guys weren’t there, that social media had an impact, there’s also been a different focus on dance in general in our culture. It has become more mainstream in shows like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars and I think accessibility to the art in that realm has been more present and magnified. So I’m not sure if we can take all that credit but it’s, um, very nice of you to say.

AB: The one skater that I do miss is Joanne Rochette.

TV: Ohh (sigh in agreement)

AB: Sorry to bring up her name again.

TV: I know.

AB: But I had one of the best nights of my life with you at her house, do you remember?

TV: (laughs) It was great.

AB: The white wine and oyster night.

TV: If was so fun. She’s a special, well, she’s just an incredible woman and such an incredible force. But she got better and more consistent in her show skating life almost after the pressure of competition. She really found her rhythm and agile and was constantly putting herself was so nonchalant about it and you would see her afterwards, ‘the number as okay’. And every night I would go out and watch her on tour and she just delivered and was so consistent and alluring and enigmatic because there’s just something about Jo that’s mysterious and you want to get to know her.

AB: She’s becoming a Doctor.

TV: I know, it’s amazing, it’s so inspiring.

AB: So, she’s such a smartypants.

TV: Also with her as she started she was still touring as she started to get back into school and any five minute increments where she could have the books open she was studying. It was on the bus, it was between numbers in a show, it was during seas rehearsals, it was constant and I saw that and was so inspired and impressed and really awed by her tenacity.

AB: You have accomplished everything there is to accomplish and I’m very proud of you. How do to define success now?

TV: I’m working on that (laughs), I’m working on that, the new definition, I’m starting to learn what it feels like when I am doing something that has meaning and relevance and purpose and, um, something that gets beneath the surface and feels substantial and significant. And whether that is work with FitSpirit and, um, creating access for young girls in schools, activities and resources, so they can stay physically fit. Um, or partnering with someone who is equally motivated to, to foster this new narrative of self-esteem in young girls, because it does need to change, it needs to shift. Um, I guess really it’s about the fulfilment of a certain process instead of the end result and the end goal. It was Adam van Koeverden who said, he’ll never be the best in anything again and you know, so that benchmark has to change and that’s okay. That’s healthy and it’s also really exciting, so I think it’s about finding things that, um, spark something, ignite a new passion, a new fire within me. I’m not sure if I have totally found that yet, but I am okay with that too.

AB: Where do you see yourself in ten years

TV: In ten years? I think running some business I mean I’m hoping to study more seriously next year and I know that’s where my passion lies and as an athlete I’ve had to be my own boss really for most of my career, all of my career, so maybe something entrepreneurial, I’m not sure what shape that will take exactly but I’m learning so much and I’m surrounded by so many incredible mentors who are helping to guide that and show me what is possible But I’m also really excited, you know in that sphere (laughs) it’s not really about me, it can be about the company, it’s not my face and, um, my likeness, and image and personality in the forefront. I think I’ll be happy to take a back seat.

AB:I was just going to say, because you are so public face but are a very private person that has to be exhausting in some capacity?

TV: Right. I think I’ve come to terms with really just, making the most of the opportunities to me and this the, and this is where I am right now and this is the work that is available to me and I love the work and the by-product of that, um, there are, you know, there are some sacrifices but that is the key to any kind of job. So I am happy to work for that now but it’s just, I also need to know where it is leading and there has to be an end goal to it.

AB: Do you want kids?

TV: I don’t know.

AB: Me too.

TV: (laughs)

AB: Like I’m almost turning thirty and I don’t know what I want for my own life and it doesn’t freak me out though. I always thought I wanted to get married and I thought I wanted to have four kids.

TV: Hmm and that’s changing a little bit?

AB: Yeah.

Yeah I’m the youngest of four and I’ve always been surrounded by adults. When I was 9 my best friend was 25 and now some of my best friends are in their sixties and seventies and so I’ve never really had that maternal instinct. But it’s also sort of abstract to me, perhaps if I found that partner where I thought I want to do this as a team, you know let’s do this together and create a little family unit But it’s not top of mind.

AB: We’re all just trying to figure it out. Thank you baby girl for taking the time.

TV: Thank you.

AB: I really appreciate it.

TV: What a pleasure.

AB: Tessa Virtue it’s always a pleasure. Come visit more.

TV: I will.

AB: Come to my birthday.

TV: (laughs) I would love to though it doesn’t sound like it will be a rager, not that’s, that’s why I would I would be sending a rain check

AB: you like ragers?

TV: No. PJs and (laughs)

AB: No girl, seriously I’ll probably just watch Netflix and go to bed. I won’t even have a glass of wine. I’m tired.

TV: Yeah.

AB. But if you came over.

TV: We’ll have to celebrate

AB: That’s fair. Thank you.