#ah fuck and then however Shallan fits the fuck into all of this what is she even doing

[peachdoxie]

Chapter 12 time!

I need to be careful not to let this break her, he thought. Keep up a strong front for her, for all of them. They shouldn’t have to be in pain because of how I feel.

First, glad he’s thinking of Syl. Second, Kaladin, you keeping your feelings close to your chest is already causing people pain.

Kaladin turned. The word “stew” pierced the cloud.

It’s funny because Kaladin was stewing over his change in assignment.

No. A clean break would be better.

Kaladin you idiot.

Those who had served with him in the early days still wore their Bridge Four patches with pride, but Bridge Four was something they used to belong to. A legendary team already passed into myth.

:’(

Kaladin should go talk to his mother. She of all people might be able to help and at least maybe stall his downward spiral for a bit.

Storms, this chapter is so fucking depressing.

Syl went to fetch Adolin to help Kaladin??? He was definitely not the one I had expected to be knocking on the door, but it does make sense.

Brightlord Master Highmarshal Stormface

I love Adolin.

“Adolin?” Kaladin said as he changed. “Your first thought was to get Adolin?”

“I needed someone you couldn’t intimidate,” she replied. “That list at best includes three people. And the queen was likely to transform you into a crystal goblet or something.”

Who’s the third person on Syl’s list? Dalinar? Shallan/Veil/Radiant? His mother?

“Thank you,” Kaladin said softly, turning his eyes forward.

Good. Acknowledge that Syl is trying to help.

Together they made their way to the Ten Rings, a section of the tower’s central market where the merchants had agreed to lay their shops out according to Navani’s plan. 

Lmao is Adolin going to take Kaladin shopping?

Dalinar disapproved. In most cases Kaladin would have as well. But… this was Adolin. He’d have gone mad if he’d been forced to remain aloof. It went against every traditional Alethi protocol of leadership, but Adolin made it work. So who was Kaladin to judge?

Ya I gotta wonder if it’s because Adolin doesn’t feel like he fits in with being highprince or whatever. Maybe I’m reading too much into this.

Syl took off to begin poking through the room, looking at each table. Though he’d once seen her fascination as childlike, he’d evolved on that idea. She was just curious, desirous to learn. If that was childlike, then everyone needed more of it.

Interesting. In Syl’s interlude, she says she has a “child’s brain” but here Kaladin seems to think the opposite. They should talk about that.

When Kaladin was in one of his moods, alcohol—for all that it seemed it would help him forget his pain—always made the darkness worse. He could use Stormlight to burn off the effects, but once he had a drink or two in him, he often… didn’t want to. Or felt he didn’t deserve to. Same difference.

Accept the pain, but don’t accept that you deserve it.

Veil rolled her eyes, but then she shook her head, and her hair blended to blonde and she sat up straighter.

I know it’s not the same, but this reminds me of Vivenna and Siri. Though actually it’s some Realmatic Bullshit™ so it kind of is the same.

“Such as who we’re going to fix Kaladin up with next.”

Ah, so were Adolin and the Three how he ended up with Lyn?

“Mmm,” their table said, vibrating with a soft buzzing sound. “How do they come out? I’ve always wondered.”

ajskdfjas;dhfjasdflajsdfljalsdfj I love Pattern “No Mating!” Liespren

And things like nahn and rank had been… strangely less divisive this last year, under Jasnah’s rule.

Good. Granted, the world is facing impending doom, which is definitely going to mess with rank and stuff.

Dalinar killed Adolin’s mother, Kaladin thought. That news was out, spread wide. The city had all either read, listened to, or been told about Dalinar’s strange autobiography. Handwritten by the Blackthorn himself, it wasn’t quite finished, but drafts had been shared. In it Dalinar confessed to many things, including the accidental killing of his wife.

So that answers that question about if people know, including Adolin and Renarin. I figured this had been the case, since Dalinar’s Third Ideal involved him admitting his mistakes, basically. However, his sons knowing definitely isn’t going to be smooth. I can’t wait to get a Kholin perspective on this (yes I know we have Navani and Shallan but that’s different).

“You’re my only bridgeboy,” Adolin said with a grin.

My heart.

Adolin smirked. This hadn’t just been about Shallan. Damnation. Had he let Adolin outsmart him? Maybe he should get something stronger to drink.

Adolin’s a lot smarter than people give him credit for, especially when it comes to social interactions. I hope this comes to bite an enemy in the ass someday. Also, I’m gonna guess that Renarin is really the only person who truly understands this about Adolin.

Adolin shrugged. “I’m not a good fit, I guess.”

Interesting that Adolin thinks he’s “not a good fit” for a Radiant order. I feel like there’s a lot more to this statement than just his reluctance to “get rid” of Maya. Speaking of Maya....

“I’m not getting rid of Maya,” Adolin said. “Leave it, bridgeboy.” The finality in his voice surprised Kaladin...

Good lad. But what does it mean? What’s his current relationship with Maya? Has he made any progress with...idk exactly what but with something?

As the evening progressed, Syl returned to proclaim she wanted to take up gambling.

I cannot possibly see how this is a good idea.

“You saved my life.”

“I made that choice because you are worth that sacrifice.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rock shook his head. “This thing I have done here with all of you, he is the end. When we meet again, I suspect it shall not be in this world. This life.” 

This chapter started super depressing, got better in the middle, and then ends with this? Fuck you Brandon.

***

Ultimately, while this chapter was depressing at the beginning and end, I did enjoy it. It’s 100% because of Adolin for sure. He’s just....so good. I love him so much. I hope we get to see his POV in the later parts of the book. Probably will, since he’ll be on the journey with Shallan to Lasting Integrity.