#aggressively tagging the worst fandoms for this I've encountered lol

[bougiebutchbinch]

This is a grumble that has been brewing in me for some time. But it just keeps happening - so, yes, I am going to talk about it.

The Disableds(TM): hey maybe you shouldn't make a huge thing out of how this one character you dislike had one bout of incontinence? Maybe you shouldn't go on and on about how gross and disgusting incontinence is, and act like incontinence deserves mockery rather than empathy, and pretend that this character is permanantly incontinent for the sole purpose of making fun of him? There are people in this fandom who are incontinent. We deal with this every day, and the way you treat this topic is kinda hurtful and insensitive.

You: oh my god it's just a joke, lighten up 🙄

The Disableds(TM): hey maybe you shouldn't keep making 'jokes' about how a disabled character who cannot communicate in a conventional way should be given a literal dog toy rather than AAC or any other less dehumanising communication aid? And stop making comments like 'awwww he's learning so quickly!!!!' when he is a whole-ass adult man being forced to communicate with animal/baby toys? In fact, just stop treating him like a baby in general. It's infantalizing and weird.

You: oh my god it's just a joke, lighten up 🙄

The Disableds(TM): hey maybe you should stop saying that these morally grey characters 'deserve' to become disabled and live every day in constant agony. Stop acting like disability is a just & fair punishment that is inflicted on people who do bad things. There is an incredibly fucked up Christofascist idea that disabled people are being Punished by a higher power for their own moral failings that pervades society to this day and affects us IRL. You should stop contributing to that.

You: but they're not 100% Perfect Moral Characters! Therefore they deserve disability! You silly Disableds(TM) need to stop getting so offended by everything! Anyway, we're just joking. Lighten up. 🙄🙄🙄

Enough. Some of you need to think critically about how you 'joke' about disabled characters in fandom.

Just ask yourself - who is the butt of these 'jokes'? Is it a character whose inability to do a 'normal' thing is being mocked or infantilized? Why do you find that amusing? For some of these 'jokes', do you only find them amusing when you dislike the character in question or think they're a 'bad' person who 'deserves it'? Why do you think that changes how you feel, and what does this suggest about your internal biases about disabled people?

Stop getting so defensive when disabled people point this stuff out. Stop doubling down and tone policing when called out. If you even pretend to give a damn about making fandoms welcoming to everyone, not just able-bodied white people, this is something you should care about.