#again. its like watching your dumb fuck of an orange cat son finally get his turn with the Brain Cell. look at him go. im so proud of him.

[tacagen]

wait. did i really not make an appreciation post for the Thought Process going on on these pages??

[toddsfall]

Let’s talk about Star Wars

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS (don’t say I didn’t warn you)

first off, the entire cast looked like a DELICIOUS SNACC PACK if you were attracted to any of them before and are wondering if they have somehow become more attractive the answer is yes. Yes they have. 

Rose is awesome, I love her (even though I have Thoughts about her storyline, more on that later) and if I see one more racist motherfucker on Twitter try to bend themselves over backwards trying to justify calling her ‘the worst character ever in SW’, ‘unattractive and fat’, ‘the worst part of the movie’ I am personally pulling the plug on the internet. Same goes for anyone trying to hate on Finn, y’all are really transparent and IT’S FUCKING GROSS. YOU RACIST ASSHOLES.

Hmm so anyway, I have a lot of thoughts and most of them will be rambly so come along this ride with me friends (I swear I’ll try to make clear & concise points)

Okay so I want to go right off the bat say that I have loved Star Wars since I was a wee babbie so I’m? going to? love it? always? so yeah, I know I’m biased (but honestly who isn’t? everyone reviewing the movie has their own biases attached to it sooo deal with it) 

The movie starts off with several action sequences which immediately pull us into the story, they got my heart racing from minute one and I was here for it. Also, I got goosebumps the minute I saw Leia/Carrie’s face and I stayed pretty emotional throughout the entirety of the movie. I think they gave her the respect she deserved, her legacy really shined through in every single one of her scenes (and her scenes were among the most memorable in the movie imo)

I loved how much the movie focused on characters. This was a story about people; 

how they can fuck up and fall off their pedestal (Luke); 

try their hardest and still fail someone (Leia and Han failed Ben, it’s sad but it’s true); 

how they can overcome their past and choose the light over and over (Rey was the main focus but Finn and Rose were definitely part of this theme as well); 

how they can feel completely abandoned and isolated and  become completely unhinged, unable to overcome their past and become completely bitter (Kylo Ren/Ben, listen I am not trying to sound like I approve of his actions but I really like how the movie delved into HOW people can become ‘the villain’ in a story, it was an unflinching take on how someone can have very legitimate reasons for becoming the way they am and it still in the end not justifying their actions at all. Idk, other people probably have a take different take on this but I for one found it kind of refreshing). 

This movie really delved into how heroes are people too, everyone fucks up. Everyone. Even the best among us. And we don’t all handle it so well (aka Luke completely abandoning everyone he’s ever loved to die, you could argue that was a pretty egocentric move and maybe that seems out of character - ask yourself if you’ll be the same person you’re now in 30 years now, especially if the current political climate keeps matching the pretty horrifying ones in sw- but it shows how disillusioned he’d become). 

However, in the end it felt to me like hope was still there. All these people, who have lost so much and who have fucked up in various ways (Finn wanting to abandon the rebellion, Poe leading them into a defeat, Leia failing her son, Rey possibly considering joining Kylo?/the darkness, Luke see above) still choose to stand up for what’s right. I know people thought the ending was a bit too cheesy (and I will come back to how choosing this ending will probably end up costing them later) but I loved it. I don’t know about you guys, but movies don’t always have to choose the dark route to end up good for me? Like, sometimes I just want to be entertained and escape into another world where it’s possible for heroes to be flawed but ultimately still good? maybe just me though.

So that’s what I loved most about the movie. Some of my fave scenes: (and I’m sure I’m forgetting some?)

I loved Kylo and Rey’s scenes (because heyyy they have similar experiences and yet are polar opposites, their dynamic has really grown on me! I don’t want them to end up together romantically but their climax will probably be the most interesting villain/hero confrontation in a while - that’s just my opinion thooo-) the scene in the rain, the hand touching and the fight in Snoke’s room were so emotionally charged I liveee

As I said, I loved Leia’s scenes (especially with Poe, god I wish we’d get more of that dynamic but :((( ) the scene with Luke at the end, not gonna lie that one got to me (I mean, it was going to be emotional bc of Carrie anyway but the weight of those last scenes, honest to god chills)

the scene where Admiral Holdo flies into the command ship was fucking MAGNIFICENT seriously, the silence? the visuals? fuck.

I want to go into a really detailed analysis of how the use of old motifs and themes from previous movies in the score carried a lot of the emotional weight forward, but I’d have to watch/listen to the movie again to fully carry that out with the respect it deserves so maybe another time. Just mentioning it because it’s still one of my favorite star wars things (and I know it’s said so many times before but you know what? the music is so good, it should still be mentioned in every single review. don’t do john williams dirty like this) it’s very subtle at times, but I swear I heard some of Darth Vader’s iconic march come through in Luke’s score in this movie? very interesting!! pls let me geek out over music internet I’m begging you

I already mentioned Snoke’s throne room but the moment you see Kylo deciding to kill him is glorious too (props to Adam Driver, seriously you can hate Kylo and I totally understand but attacking the actor - especially when it’s based on his looks, which most of you are wrong about jsyk I don’t make the rules, it’s just science his eyes look like a baby deer?? - is so unnecessary please don’t stoop to the level of those dudebros on twitter attacking rose? like, Kylo has enough bad deeds on his resumé it’s okay you can attack him for that, you don’t need to drag his looks into it so annyyywaay sorry for that tangent it just irks me)

BB8 being the reason while basically any of the resistance is still alive is so fucking funny I’m sorry if you hate it I love my dumb orange cat robot (the reunion with Poe? cleansed my entire soul)

Finn towering over Phasma and spitting out ‘rebel scum’ is Good and should not be forgotten also, speaking of good acting? the way John conveys the inner conflict Finn is going through so subtly is probably going to go unnoticed BUT IT IS GOOD AND I’M GOING TO SHOUT AT Y’ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH HE 5AND DAISY° HAVE GROWN TILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULLS

if we’re talking about Iconique scenes, the man licking the ground and saying ‘Salt’ was fucakfmlkdj so funny I can’t explain how fucking funny that was 

I’m not going to dwell too much on what I didn’t like because I believe there is such a thing as analyzing something to death and I don’t want to do that (besides, it’s really not hard to find criticism for this movie. People really out there comparing it to the Phantom Menace? Lies. Y’all really hate this movie huh? Too bad, I was thoroughly entertained and I loved it  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I feel like most of my problems with the movie could have been solved with some changes to the plot. The critiques I agree with are

 the pacing was weird (how long was Rey on that island? it didn’t seem to be that much longer than the entire plot and subplots of the rebels trying to escape the ship, but that was at most like 20 hours sooo) 

the plot was pretty straightforward: conflict-resolution, conflict-resolution, conflict-resolution. I would have liked to have seen this shaken up a bit. The movie could still have focused on characters with higher stakes, more unresolved issues, messier plots. It was a bit too neat. I saw most of the ‘twists’ coming (e.g. kylo killing snoke, boy they really layed it on thick there) except for: leia charging in and shooting poe (heyoo that’s cinema baby), luke actually still being on the island (and something else but I’m completely blanking rn!)

 I think that’s why people don’t like the ending, it’s too neatly wrapped up in a bow (ignoring the fact that there are like 10 rebels left now? that’s seems like uuuh a problem) And while I like it from an emotional resolution point of view, I think the the movie could have done with more tension at the end. More tension, to keep you on the edge of your seat, wanting to immediately see the next movie. that was its biggest flaw imo

and finally - fair warning: I’m conflicted about this- Rose and Finn’s plot. Hooo boy, okay. So, I wanna say that I love them as characters but.. I don’t really want them to get together? idk remove all forced romance from your plot, writers. It will really help unclutter your stories I swear. (that said, I wouldn’t mind them in a relationship as long as it’s not to create tension with rey? or like any love triangle at all. Please leave that garbage at the door). Aside from that, I know people think their plot was the worst of the movie and I don’t think that. However, I think they could have done more with it. Shown more conflict! let Finn be the spark (and he is!! fight me!!) but also conflicted about joining the rebellion. Let Rose be completely torn up about her sister and let her be bitter dammit! They could have used more obstacles, their plot seemed mostly resolved by a deus ex machina (aside from Finn fighting Phasma - who I’m kind of wishing he didn’t kill cause I can sense she has sooo much more in her, honestly Hux is 100 times more boring, you have gwendoline RIGHT THERE FUCKERS USE HER) I didn’t mind the exposition of the filthy rich people planet (YESSS EAT THE RICH STAR WARS PLS SHIT ON THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN) but it just lacked.. spark. I hope their plot turns out to be important for the next movie, otherwise it was sadly something that could have been much greater (and it’s really uncomfortable to introduce two main poc characters and then basically have them contribute nothing to the main plot, hmm okay star wars I’m watching you)

I can’t/don’t have the energy to address everyone’s issues, but mostly I don’t agree with people being mad about characters (I think it’s clear I like the direction they’ve taken with most of them), the humour is a bit disneyfied but I really didn’t mind (it’s clear as day some of those cutesy aliens were in there for the money, money, money but like.. it be like that sometimes), I honestly don’t care about Snoke so I wasn’t disappointed his backstory was not a part of this, Rey NOT being a part of the great history before her is important to me (can’t believe I didn’t mention it with my favorite scenes, really regretting that salt guy now) even if they try to backpedal on it later that moment was beautiful in the movie (my space daughter isn’t important in the grand scheme of things but she so iiiiiis!!). All in all, I really liked it. It’s not my favorite movie (not even my favorite star wars movie) but it was damn entertaining! Here’s to hoping that the next movie will be the opposite of this very tight, contained movie. Give me the intergalactic class revolution I deserve (seriously, I hope that’s what Rose and Finn’s adventure was planting? might be idle hope, and I’m trying to keep my expectations low but it would be pretty cool right?)

[mitjo-deactivated]

Submission

First was the dark circles. Infatuated or not with the little dweeb you couldn’t miss the dark circles under his eyes. Then there was the lack of annoyancey. Annoyingness? Annoy? Fuck whatever either way he didn’t get into his normal piss baby mood when I bugged him. So I laid off on the teasing and he seemed pretty grateful for that which also worried me too. That kid was either never grateful for my good deeds or didn’t acknowledge them. I decided I had enough when the little bugger fell asleep in history class, his second favorite to photography. And you couldn’t even CALL it sleep because the distrust and painful teeth gritting he did whilst napping wasn’t exactly considered beauty rest. So when the bell rang and the little fucker peeled himself off the desk I grabbed his bag. “M-mitch” the “i” was dragged out so at least he was coherent but there was jack shit of a struggle in that voice. As if he was more irritated in being forced to speak then his things possibly being stolen.

“C'mon Wagnerd we’re going to the lake.” I headed out the door and towards the front gates, god damn I hope he didn’t just give up, spots wasn’t the type to put up a fight so I had to bank on knowing his notebook he was taking notes on his powers was still in here. Sure as shit a few minutes later he was dragging his feet out the door as every other mindless student pushed past him. I carried on my way towards the woods smiling. I pointed random shit out, a rock that looked like a dick, a tree I vaguely remember carving a dick into, a raccoon that was currently eating half a bird, you know cool shit. And I may have pointed out as the sun was setting the sky looked a little like orange sherbert and he’d probably want to take a pic for his dumb camera nerd class. None of these findings offered a verbal response but at least when I snuck a look back he was smiling weakly at the sky. Baby steps. When we got to the lake clearing I tossed the bag towards an overturned log looking around sitting my ass on a nearby rock.

When the kid finally caught up he collapsed on the log and nudged his bag closer to himself with his foot. We were both silent. Shit say something Mitch. Fuck don’t tease him you need to be straight up and ask him what’s wrong. “So did your panties get bunched too tight in the fucking wash or what?” god fucking dammit. He looked up sighing. He was just so… tired? Like it wasn’t angry or upset he just looked fuckin exhausted. He stood up slugging the bag over his shoulder. “If you just dragged me here to make fun of me I’m not really in the mood mitch. I’ll see you la-”

“Wait spots… Jonas just fuck don’t leave just yet.” needy son of a- I took a deep breathe and rubbed my eyes. Why was this so damn difficult? I glance up and he had stopped walking away. An eyebrow raised and for once didn’t look so dead. Oh yeah that’s why. C'mon mitchell get it the fuck together. “Will you tell me what’s fuckin wrong with ya?” there you go, that wasn’t so hard. The kid grabbed his backpack strap a little tighter, a slight wisp of green light vaguely floated around his hands.

“I-I don’t know what you-re talking about.”

“Oh bullshit. I’m not that big of an idiot spots. Somethings bugging ya. You’re drifting off but you’re still fighting with something in your head. You’re not eating, you ain’t talking to your friends, fuck at least I can usually count on some kind of retaliation from the bullshit I ping off you constantly!” I stood up getting closer to him. “You ain’t yourself even I can see that and maybe no one else has the balls or the fucking decentness to say nothing but I am.” I was right in front of him now. “these used to be red for fuck’s sake!” I pointed to his face and he stared at me. His eyes going wide and the green lights getting violently shaky around him. Why was he- I followed my own hand and now being up close noticed the red under his eyes were in fact still there. And so was the black but there was this spot of skin that didn’t exactly- wait a fucking second. He tried to run but I grabbed his wrist and jerked him back.

“Mitch wait please I can…” he halted when I grabbed his cheek and licked my thumb wiping it under his eye with the other hand.

I let go instantly. Partially because of the painful hiss and partially because I didn’t want to see just how bad that black eye was. I chose to look at the makeup on my thumb instead. No doubt something he borrowed from his clone’s room. Guess that was one good thing about having a twin sister. Jonas crumbled back to his previous seat his arms wrapped around himself staring at the ground. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Are you sure because it looks pretty fuckin bad Joey!” my voice got away from me and I felt like a complete ass when he flinched. Nows not the time Mitch. I took another deep breath pacing. A few more to talk myself (And the few levitating pebbles around me) down before I went back to kneal down in front of him. “Will… jonas, spots… please. Tell me who’s wailing on ya?” he didn’t stop staring at his feet when he spoke. That was okay. He didn’t give me an exact name either but that was okay too.

*

It’s been four hours now and I’m watching the dude damn near piss himself trying to unlock the door to his car. Each time he turns the key a simple snap of my fingers and the lock bolt shoots up again. He’s getting more nervous, stopped glancing back and is now full on turning his head at every little noise I make, a trashcan lid falling, the rocks grating against the brick wall, that cat that is not at all happy it’s feet are not touching the ground by unseen forces. I lose focus for a second and he gets the door open before I can get it locked again. Tragic. He pulls out from the bar parking lot and I wait. When he gets a few yards up on the road I hold out an open hand. I walk into the street as his wheels are squealing an inch away from pavement. He sees me from his mirror and I am damn positive he pissed himself by now. The car’s a bit heavier than I had thought though and already I can feel the start of a sick bloody nose under the mask I’m wearing. Fine it should be good enough for tonight. I close my fist and the wheels of his car touch down back to earth. He fishtails for a second but speeds off none the less.

*

Spots is laughing with his friend, the tall curly haired nerd no doubt making a joke about some comic book or whatever. Jonas sees me, smiles, says something to the other as the nerd takes off down another street. It’s been almost what two weeks now? There’s still a bit of greenish purple under the left eye but it’s almost completely faded now. Good. I pull out the keys to my truck and open the door. “Wait Mitch!” I smirked watching the shorter male jog up to me. His bag slung over one shoulder and a pair of drumsticks in one hand. Must of just come out of practice. Before I can tease him about it he comes up and wraps his arms around my waist. His head only comes up to my chest which is terrible cause his hug is doing terrible shit to my heart beat and I’m hoping he doesn’t notice. He pulls away after a second and smiles. Its an actual smile, one that isn’t so damn tired. He looked around the mostly empty parking lot and bites his lip. “Thank you.”

“Pfft for what Wagnerd?” he rolls his eyes sarcastically but he still looks grateful. God it’s cute.

“Dean hasn’t even yelled at me once since then. I don’t know what you did but… but I know you did something just… thank you.” I smirk and ruffle his hair before getting in my truck.

“I don’t know a damn thing you’re talking about spots but hell I’m glad you got peace with your old man.” I take off and in my mirror I can see him standing there, still smiling. God that kid was gonna be the death of me.

GOOSSHH THIS WAS REALLY REALLY NEAT I LOVED IT,,, OH MY GOSH I HAD SUCH A BAD FEELING IN MY STOMACH THAT IT WAS DEAN AND IT WAS AND AUGHGHGHGH

THIS BROKE MY HEART HONESTLY................. I LOVE THESE BOYS, I WANT MITCH TO PROTECT JOEY SO MUCH,,