#again this is the most cynical view of it. look. my mom gave up alot for me and i am giving up a lot for her and we are giving to each oth

[bingobongobonko]

cannot trust my own thoughts after 9 pm that is the rule, so im gonna shut that shit off. im talkin too much today, too much on the mind tho so makes sense. Man. idk man. again, dont trust your thoughts at night but also. Man. i feel like a disappointment in every regard. i think of all the immigrant kid stories and i feel like i pale. idea that you gotta work hard in school and get a good job to give to your family, i see it a lot and its really cool. i thought i could do it too, but i kinda failed big. i mean i try to provide, i do, but it feels like nothing. these like. super cool smart people with a big future, and then im here just like. drawing. yk. and im not even like studio worthy art, im just some guy who dicks around. ykwim. shrug. i should try harder to livebut also sometimes i wonder why we even came to this stupid fucking country. i guess the promise of a future. not an excuse to not do better idk, im just cynical rn. idk. what future. idk. idk