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pokemopolis-archive-blog · 9 years ago

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Love, Petalburg Style!

340: Love, Petalburg Style

343: Touka Jimu no Keiji! Katei no keiji!

Pokemopolis Title: Norman Gets His Freak On

Dodginess: 4/5

Animation: 3/5

Story: Three's Company Too!

Team Rocketness: Kings of the Jungle.

Today finds the twerps finally arriving at Petalburg City, where May and Max's parents live, one of whom is Norman, the Gym Leader that beat Ash on their first meeting and that he hopes to defeat this time for his fifth Gym Badge. They spot a poster of Norman on one of the new stores and Ash laughs that his victory is going to be against someone famous, but once more Max talks up how undefeatable his father is going to be. Ash is confident though, pointing out he's been training pretty damn hard since their last meeting too, then tells the others to go on and see the city while he takes Pikachu to the Pokemon Centre to get his Pokemon up to full fighting fitness. Off they go, two of them home again, back to the place they love. It's....

May, Max and Brock arrive at their home and meet Kenny, Norman's Assistant, who tells them that their Father isn't home... then leans forward and whispers that there might actually be a problem there. Before he can elaborate though, Caroline steps forward to greet her children, kneeling down and placing her hand near Max's crotch before telling him he has grown at least three inches. Oh my, is it that type of family? She thanks Brock for bringing them home (does she even know Brock? Beyond the, "Hey Mum I met this nice older guy who buys me stuff and follows me around!" phone-calls she might have gotten from May?) while Max buries his head against her crotch and grabs at her ass.

It IS that kind of family! She invites them in and Max asks when they can see Norman, and she looks concerned as she says later and Kenny begins sweeping furiously, shouting out that he has work to do. Caroline takes them inside for some home-cooking, while May stares back at Kenny and wonders what the problem is. And meanwhile, Ash is finding out! He enters the Pokemon Centre and is pleased to see Norman leaning against the counter talking to Nurse Joy. He goes to greet him, but then pulls up short as he hears them giggling and chatting in a VERY friendly fashion.... why it seems that this married, Gary Cole looking motherfucker is straight up macking on Nurse Joy!

He spots Ash and looks startled, then smiles and says he is looking forward to facing him again, and Ash tells him he is all ready for a Battle Rematch. Norman says he doesn't see why not, then giggles with Nurse Joy about trusting her to keep a secret before winking suspiciously while a clueless Ash looks on. Meanwhile, Team Rocket are trudging through a Greenhouse Jungle owned by Norman, Jesse and James demanding to know why Meowth dragged them there. He explains that the twerps will soon be battling there, and this greenhouse puts them in a prime Pokemon stealing position to strike. James however, remembers their last attempt to steal from Norman, but Meowth insists things will be fine, after all, who would ever suspect anyone of being dumb enough to try to steal from the same place twice!?! Jesse can't fault that logic, saying that nobody knows that they're that dumb, and Meowth breaks the fourth wall to throw a thumbs up to the audience and asks the audience if Jesse and James are Dumb and Dumber, what does that make him? He then flies into a rage over the grammatical inaccuracy of Jesse and James' reply. Inside the kitchen, Kenny has joined May, Max and Brock while Caroline makes them a meal. They're telling her all about Team Rocket, though May snaps at him to tone down the stories in case he scares her into not letting them leave again. They ask when Dad will be home, since he always comes home for lunch, and she turns with shaking shoulders away from them, saying not today as Kenny leaps up and shakes his arms about, screaming to ask if they want some more food. Brock agrees, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil and emotions of a woman, and May happily tells her mother she caught a Beautifly... which apparently angers her mother!?! Kenny leaps up to cry out again as Max keeps on talking about Beautifly and sweat beads up on Caroline's face as she stirs the stew faster and faster and Kenny screams in desperation that they didn't say Beautifly they said fries, May is in a cooking contest that's all and.... and Caroline turns around clutching her ladle with an intense, fake smile plastered onto her face as she assures her unassured kids that she's just trying to add some exercise into her cooking... and then starts doing squat thrusts!

Brock, May and Max are horrified and Kenny in despair, and he drags the twerps out into the Greenhouse to whisper the secret to them. But as he starts to talk, Max screams out in delight to see Vigoroth and they start talking about how the Greenhouse is where Norman keeps his Gym Pokemon. As Max runs to hug Vigoroth, May tells Brock that they were never allowed to watch Norman's Gym Battles because they might distract the challengers... The "they" in this case is not May and Max, but a certain pair sitting high on May's chest. Brock says it must have been frustrating for the kids not to be able to watch him battle, but May says they always understood a Gym Leader had to be strict, and he always had plenty of time to play with them afterwards. The "them" in this case IS May and Max... or at least we hope so! Kenny reminds them that they're actually here to learn a secret, but then they're distracted again by a Slakoth, the pre-evolution of Vigoroth, a kind of sleepy, sloth-like Pokemon. Apparently even Kenny has never seen one awake and moving, but then he remembers again he has to tell them a secret... until they all spot a Slaking, the final evolutionary form.... and then Kenny snaps that he MUST tell them the secret. It seems something weird is going on between Norman and Caroline, with Norman spending every day at the Pokemon Centre and Caroline yelling at him all the time for no reason. But Max snaps angrily that plenty of people visit Pokemon Centres daily, and plenty of people yell for no reason, like he is yelling now. Kenny admits this is true, but points out that Caroline also seems to get particularly angry whenever Beautifly is mentioned, while we see an angry Caroline packing clothes up in a suitcase and glaring at a picture by her bedside of a younger her and Norman in a field of Beautiflys. Then Ash arrives on the scene, stepping through the "jungle" foliage, meeting up with the others while nearby Team Rocket have gotten lost... and then spot the twerps. They decide to grab Pikachu, but then Meowth stops them, saying they should instead get the three Slakoth Evolutions and give them to The Boss? Why? Because crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy, that's why! "Imagine da Boss trying tah get out of bed oily one morning," Meowth suggests, then throws on a gravelly Giovanni voice, "Bummer, I just can't wake up, isn't dere anything to look forward to in my sad life?" "And dats when his Vigoroth comes to da rescue with a big fat hug!" Meowth continues, as we see Vigoroth hugging a pyjama-wearing Giovanni who weeps with joy and says, "Good morning, fank youse for making my day..... AHHHH! Enuff day making, I'm glad I'm awake, but ain't dere a more gentle way without breaking my back?"

Fantasy-Giovanni falls to the floor on the ground, and then spots Slakoth and Slaking resting lazily on the ground beside his bed, and Meowth explains to us,"Den he sees da other two, "Ahh, my Slakoth and Slaking, you guys always help me tah feel relaxed," den he'll say,"Since Meowth and his friends gave me such a great present, I must do da same for dem!" Well this rambling, disjointed, nonsensical and slightly homoerotic rubbish makes perfect sense to Jesse and James, and they join Meowth in dance and singing about their upcoming good fortune. Ash, meanwhile, has happily and obliviously told the twerps and Kenny all about what a great time Norman and Nurse Joy are having at the Pokemon Centre. He can't understand why everyone seems so confused and upset, and then Brock roars that he'll save the day, after all, he is the Love Doctor! He charges off and May bizarrely seems to think he has everything in control, while poor Kenny - surrounded by stupidity - screams, "BUT HE CALLS HIMSELF THE LOVE DOCTOR!" He, Max and May charge off after Brock, leaving behind a completely clueless and confused Ash... what the fuck is going on? And then a Vigoroth falls on him.

HEY TRAINERS, WHAT IS THE BEST CHOICE TO BATTLE COMBUSKEN? NUZLEAF, TOGETIC OR FLAREON? THE ANSWER IS.... OH GOD TOGETIC IS BACK TO SWALLOW MORE OF OUR SOULS! At the Pokemon Centre, Kenny and the twerps arrive to see Norman once more straight up macking on Nurse Joy, and May can't believe it while Max snaps that he still doesn't believe it. Norman turns and spots his kids and is delighted to see them, asking them how they are.... and then asking if they're feeling well when he spots how down they look. "Norman," grunts Brock as manfully as he can, "It's good to see you again." Norman says it is good to see him again (for the first time!) and Brock grunts that they need to have a talk, and then spots Nurse Joy and forgets all about that crap as he zooms over to her to grab her hands and proclaim his undying love. "NOT NOW, DOCTOR LOVE!" roars Kenny, locking Brock into a full nelson and dragging him away.

Back in the Greenhouse, Team Rocket are trying to find the Slakoth evolutions and Jesse is getting more and more pissed off, and then they find a door which leads to... another Greenhouse!?! They spot a platform with what looks like the ends of tubes popping out of it and ask what it is, perhaps a rocket launcher? "Guess what, I don't really care what it is!" snaps Jesse angrily, pointing back through the door, "Back we go!" Meanwhile Ash, Pikachu and Vigoroth have found Slaking and a hanging Slakoth, and he's enjoying the benefits of the Greenhouse and three Pokemon that Team Rocket are so desperately trying to find. At the Pokemon Centre, a fired up Brock is roaring at Norman that when he married Caroline he promised to love her, and protect her, and spend time with her... and word is that he's not fulfilling that promise, so tell her he is sorry and grovel if he has to! "What are you talking about?" asks Norman, and then Brock twists back around to Nurse Joy and grabs her hands again, telling her he hopes he hasn't offended her as she mutters, "Awkwaaaard!" before Kenny grabs the love-starved lad again and drags him away as May yells at him for making things worse than when they just had one problem to deal with. Norman asks what problem she is talking about, and then Caroline shows up holding a suitcase and growling that she is going anywhere but here, horrifying Norman who asks, "....well, do you need any help with your luggage?" They gasp in shock and Kenny rushes up to yell that Caroline is leaving, and when Norman asks where, she reiterates that she is going anywhere but here, so Norman.... tells Kenny that means he'll be on Kitchen Duty!

Brock mutters that not everyone can understand women, and Kenny asks if he has to draw him a map, and Norman says yeah, that'll be great. Meanwhile at the Greenhouse, a continually clueless Ash sits with the three evolutions and wonders what is taking everyone so long. Team Rocket are also still there, Jesse complaining that the humidity is wrecking her hair while James notes that the mud is doing wonders for his skin. They spot Ash and the evolutions and realise luck is on their side, the Slakoth evolutions AND Pikachu! They leap out in front of a surprised Ash, who demands to know what they want. "Prepare for trouble we don't want you!" "Make it triple, plus Pikachu!" "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "I'm Jesse." "And don't forget James." "Team Rocket... boogies down at the speed....of....light," cries Jesse, suddenly doing a little side-shuffle dance in front of a milky-way backdrop, before James "boogies" in as well. "Surrender now while doing the twist or fight, fight, fight!" "Meowth! Dat's right!" "WOB-WOBBUH-WOBBUFFET!" Well.... that was odd. Ash wants to know why they won't leave him alone, and they explain that as always they want Pikachu, but also the three Slakoth Evolutions. Jesse sends in Seviper and James sends in Cacnea (with the expected results) and lunge in at Ash and his three companion Pokemon. At the Pokemon Centre, Kenny has just finished explaining to Norman that Caroline isn't entirely enamoured with the idea of him constantly spending his time at the Pokemon Centre and evidently banging Nurse Joy's brains out in a variety of exciting, explicit sexual positions that Caroline just won't let him do to her anymore. Caroline growls angrily that she'll be just fine, then glares at Norman and "thanks" him for letting this all come to a head on their wedding anniversary. If you don't see where this is going by now, Gentle Dodgers, you've never seen an American sitcom EVER! Max screams at them all to shut up, saying that nobody is giving Norman a chance to explain himself, and blushes furiously while Norman laughs that at least now he knows what is going on. May snaps at him that the implosion of his marriage isn't exactly a laughing matter, and he agrees, saying this has all been a misunderstanding. Come and knock on our dooooooor. We've been waiting for youuuuuuuuu...... He tells them to head home and he'll explain everything. At the Greenhouse, Team Rocket are surprisingly dominating the battle, Seviper knocking Pikachu backwards while Cacnea rains down Pin Missile on Slakoth and Vigoroth, while Slaking keeps on sleeping happily away. Ash tries to leg it with the Pokemon but then he gets.... blasted off!

James isn't sure how the explosion happened but says he'll gladly take credit, and then Norman and the others arrive. Norman growls that he won't let these "clowns" steal his Pokemon, and then a Pin Missile attack hits the strange platforms from earlier and a massive explosion goes off. And Norman.... Norman loses it! Like the Gary Cole looking motherfucker that he is, Norman channels the true power of Sheriff Lucas Buck from American Gothic, shaking his fist in rage as fire burns up around him and he declares that now Team Rocket have gone too far.

He roars for Slaking, and the massive Pokemon awakes and comes charging in, landing behind Norman and then roaring at a horrified Team Rocket before smashing them with Focus Punch and sending them blasting off again! Ash is amazed, that was just one attack, but Norman isn't happy, he turns back to the damaged platform and moans that his anniversary surprise is ruined. Where the kisses are hers and hers and his.... May gasps that a fireworks display for an anniversary present is about the most romantic thing you could do.... This is true, you're pretty much guaranteed anal if you do, take note, lads! ....and Nurse Joy says she can have another one prepared for tonight. Everyone is confused, and Nurse Joy explains that she is also a licensed pyro-technician, and she was organising the fireworks display and promised to keep it a secret. THREE'S COMPANY TOO! Brock declares that she has stirred up the fireworks inside of him too before Max drags him away, and Norman happily tells Nurse Joy that he'll take her up on her offer. Later that night, everyone is gathered around as Nurse Joy finishes her preparations, and then Norman sets off the display. The image of a Beautifly is created in fireworks as Caroline gasps that she should never have doubted him and he says he wishes it could have been a surprise. She hugs him as more Beautifly fireworks are fired into the air, and Max asks why they are Beautifly shaped? Norman seems suddenly embarrassed, and heads off to get some drinks as Caroline explains that when he first proposed to her it was in a field of flowers and Beautiflys, and Caroline blushes happily while May giggles that it is so cool their parents are in love. Norman returns and tells Ash openly that he will be using Slakoth, Vigoroth and Slaking in their battle tomorrow. This horrifies Max, you're not supposed to tell your challenger what Pokemon you'll be using! But Norman says he isn't concerned, he wants him and Ash to have the best possible battle they can, and they shake hands as May notes that she still can't figure out who she wants to win and Max remains unshakably confident that his Father cannot be beaten. So Ash's dream of competing in the Hoenn League rests on beating Norman, and Max's daydream of a perfect, superhuman father rest on Ash. Tomorrow, somebody's dream is going to be utterly devastated.

Moral Learnt: Planning a surprise party for your wife will always end in you being accused of having an affair. ALWAYS!

BEST QUOTES

Jesse: "You're right, nobody knows we're that dumb!" Meowth: "Dose two are dumb and dumber, so den what does dat make me?" James and Jesse: "I don't know.... dumberer?" Giovanni: "Bummer, I just can't wake up, isn't dere anything to look forward to in my sad life?" Kenny: "NOT NOW, DOCTOR LOVE!" Brock: "THEN WHEN!?!"

#Pokemopolis #S7E29 #AG069 #Love Petalburg Style #Pokemon #AG69 #EP343

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