#after the episode but didn't have access to the internet to post it

[elsa-fogen]

At first i was going to reblog this from @justashadowlooker

but then it got too long and off-topic, i started retelling and quoting my own 10 years old fanfic, so i'm making it it's own post jjdsfjkdfgh

Too long don't read, was a Bloom fan, killed her hundreds of times, than became Icy fan, killed her few times as well, still a huge fan, wanna revive some of my old ideas

When i had just started watching winx, Bloom was my fav AAHAHHAH (it was 2008-2009 year i think). Buuut... being my fav means that you gonna SUFFER. It was always the case, even when i was little. But young me didn't know better than to just kill of a character. And Bloom died SO many times in my early fanfics and arts. I still remember one fic, it was also the first ever fic i posted on the internet, and it was horrible. I typed really slow at that time and i was looking at like 10 A4 pages of handwritten fanfic and was like... weeeell i don't need this part with description of the boat... i don't need this part about wind flowing in her hair or smth... i don't need spaces after dots and commas either. These were real thoughts of 9 year old me lmao.

the fic was about Bloom and Sky going for a boat trip date, but there was also some bitch that fell for Sky and her best decision was to throw Bloom away from the boat. As a result she was sucked into the screw of the motor or whatever this thing called. Sky dived after her and brought her back on the boat, but she died due to the blood loss.

In my handwritten version it was really long and tears queezing scene, but i was too lazy to type it all, so it basically was shortened to 1 (one) sentence: Bloom didn't make it to the port.

i also had a picture attached, it was i think a cover of some of the comics where Sky holds Bloom on his arms and they're stepping out of the water, but i photishoped it and added many wounds and BLOOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

I also remember photoshopping screenshots from the first winx movie, adding bloody wounds on Bloom and tears and trying to make her face sad lol. And also i remember, i didn't have access to the computer all the time in my childhood, and there was a weird time... when i'd got a chance to be on the computer, i would made a specific search in google, to find that one art with Bloom, being fucking stabbed, lying on the ground and crying, and touching the golden heart-shaped locket with the name Sky on it, and you could see that it was Sky's sword that stabbed her, and he was walking away in the distance. I could stare at that art for hours, imagining how it happened. I also remeber how the art suddenly stopped showing up at the search and i had only tiny squeezed jpg version of it, and i thought that google banned this art for being so violent lmao

Btw i found that art, it's by Chibiusa-Moon, here it is, and i remember it diffferently, i thought Bloom had enchantix on her lmao

BUT THEN SOMETHING CHANGED. I DON'T KNOW WHEN. I DON'T KNOW WHY. BUT ICY CAME AND DESTROYED MY LOVE FOR BLOOM, AND TOOK HER PLACE.

I suspect that it happened after i saw ep1 of season 3, because HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN IN THAT EPISODE?! SHE WAS ✨✨S L A Y I G✨✨ DAMN!!! She freed herself looking fab as fuck (i've only seen her battle uniform at that point, and her casual outfit shocked me, i was like HOLY SHIT?? DIFFERENT COLTHES?) (and it's if you forgen the HOLY SHIT, TRIX IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SEASON?!!!), sayed the edgiest thing in the world, then freed her sisters, skated away from the giant snake ON HER DAMN HEELS AS A QUEEN!!!!! I think this was the moment when i fell for her. Maybe i'm wrong and it happened earlier, but this is all i can remeber.

Well, i also remember when my mom got me my first winx magazine and i was really disappointed that there were no Trix in the comic AHHASJGDAJS it was comic about bloom and diaspro going to the land of the dragons.

And, funny enough, i think i didn't kill Icy in my fics (mostly)

wait fuck. i remembered one (that was actually properly published and finished), let me just refresh my memory real quick- (gonna cringe soo hard ahaha)

oh shit i also remembered some stuff. In my later fanfics i was tending to make Bloom real psychopath, who decided to straight up destroy all the witches and all the dark magic. Hey. Hey. I bet 13 year old me wouldn't mind if i borrowed this idea fom her...

EHM ANYWAY, BACK TO THAT ONE FINISHED FIC!

It's so cringy written, but it's got the spirit HASHDHA. The trix summon some another army of darkness that was created to destroy fairies (hey), but at some point they lose control of it and the army turns against them. They have no ther choice but to seek help from the winx. winx of course don't want to help since their army attacked alfea... but the trix didn't give this order.

by the way tehre's one dialogue that i think is actually good and i think is in character

"But how do we know that it isn't one of your tricks?" - asked Tecna. - "Probability of this equals 85,9%!" Everyone froze. Nobody had this idea before. Then Icy shook her head. "No, it's not." "How do we know?" Stella said suspiciously. "If we wanted to trick you, we'd choose less humiliating way" Icy replied coldly.

in the end witches and fairies teeaming up, and going on an adventure to stop this army with some artifacts. Significant part of the way they had to make on their own without magic, and during that winx and trix are actualy growing to like each other. OH THERES ALSO A FUNNY THING LOL

But as a night roommate she [Icy] turned out to be very restless. She was moving all the time and mumbling something. And then at some point she screamed: "Damn fairies, i wish you all dead!" Bloom jumped on her place and still half sleeping replied: "Shut up, witch, or you're done for!" and fell back asleep. All in all, it was hell of a night.

i still think this is funny af-- damn these dialogues are only getting better. Next day they getting closer to their destination.

Suddenly they heard Stormy's voice: "Wait! there's some sign! Icy, can you read this?" "Why her?" Stella asked offended. "We all here can read!" "Except for you," Darcy noted gloomily and everyone laughed. "Ha, well, if you're so smart, come here and read!" Icy said with the sweetest voice. "And next time we'll ask you." Stella understood that she was cornered. To save the rest of her dignity, she came closer and started staring at the sign. "I-I cant for some reason, this handwriting is awful!" with dispair sloar fairy realised that she doesn't understand these letters. "And this cold is driving me nuts! Give me cup of hot coffee and warm blanket!"

then Icy teaches Bloom how to skate. And then Aisha (Leyla) dies by falling into some bottomless pit- After that they make it to their destination, but the army was waiting for them there

another dialogue

"Let's go!" Icy said decisively. "No, wait! I'll go alone. If they catch me, you all get out of here as fast as you can" [...] "No!" Bloom said. "I'll go with you!" "Fine. But they'll kill you immediately" "And you?" "And I will be tortured" Icy smiled.

I can't with this lol, Icy smiling at the thought of torture as a true psycho she is.

Icy touched the wall, making sure it's quite hard. "Well? What's next?" "You're the brain of the operation, you tell me!" redhead replied, crushing piece of the rock in her hand

i just like this interaction here.

"Winx Believix!" Winx screamed. And Trix didn't scream anything, Icy just snapped her fingers and all three were already in their witch uniforms.

yeah classic.

the fight begins, Icy is trying to understand what to do with the artifacts, Musa dies, then they teleport to some other planet where they can perform the ritual to destroy the whole army at once. They're reading the spell, but something is missing, and the army attacks them here too. This time Bloom is left to figure out what were they missing, and some drops of her blood fell on the artifact and that was the last piece of the spell. The army is destroyed, but Icy was seriously injuried when covering Bloom from attack from behind. Now they're flying back to Magix

FUCK-- guys i'm sorry. More dialogues on the way.

"Why are you here?" she [Icy] asked, opening her eyes. "Doesn't want to miss your death!" Stella screamed, she overheard the talk. "Shut up!" I [Darcy] replied. "Or I'll hit you!" "Oh-oh, I'm so scared!" "Discussed my funeral already?" Icy asked, surprisingly, without sarcasm. "Come on, don't listen to that fairy! She has only fashion and straw in her head." Icy smiled weakly. "Magix!" Bloom screamed looking out the window. Fairies came closer to the glass. "Where?!" Icy got worried. Golden-green disc of the planet surrounded by thick ring of asteroids was hanging in the center of the window. Icy could see it without moving. "And here my dream came true. I got Magix!" she lifted her arm and closed her fingers around the planet. "Didn't think that the view from the space is so beautiful..."

DSHGJADFKAJHSFDJG what have i done. This line about her dream coming true HITS HARD. Fuck, 13 y.o. me knew which buttons she should push.

Icy dies. Darcy and Stormy were forgiven because they helped to stop the army and for Icy's "sacrifice" and everyone very conveniently forget that they started the recent war. The end.

Damn that was a ride.

um, so where were we?... right i was saying that Icy became my new hyperfixation instead of Bloom...

And i had the whole trilogy planned, in the first one she'd escape from some prison and attempt another plan to counquer Magix, but fail, in the next book she'd be KILLED by Bloom but came back to life by making a deal with someafterlife owner (HA) and the last one where she actually succeeds... this one i din't think through at ALL.

I kinda wanna revive that plot fron the second "book" tbh, i still remeber it really well.

In a comic.

(i'd make it a crossover with Hazbin but it won't work unfortunately)

okay i don't know where and how to end this post so i'm ending it here, have a nice day thanks for reading i hope that at least someone made it to the end.

[sapphic-agent]

ummmmm your tv show gif tag is how I discover you like Ouran High School Host Club??? PLEASE share any headcanons or rants or thoughts or anything!! I was feral over that show in middle school!!!

Stoooop ily so much🥹

It's a rite of passage to watch Ouran in middle school and form an unhealthy obsession with it. It's a prerequisite for high school I don't make the rules.

It's so funny because I only get into Ouran because of a crossover fic I read. I was only reading the fic because of a really niche anime I was into and that happened to be one of the only fics for it at the time since it just wasn't a popular show. To summarize, me being an oddball who watched shit no one else did and read fanfic I definitely wasn't supposed to led me to Ouran.

(Who let me have unrestricted Internet access)

I will say, I don't have much to say about Ouran. I've never read the manga and I was never really active in the fandom. It's always been a comfort show, one I rewatch when life gets too shitty.

If I have any thoughts at all it's that OHSHC is genuinely the funniest thing I've ever watched in my life. Almost ten years after I watched it and I still crack up at nearly every single episode. My absolute favorite episode is when the hosts ambush Haruhi at her house (the poor girl was actually happy for once and those damn rich kids ruined it😭). The interactions between Tamaki and Haruhi were also on point that episode.

I always appreciated that Haruhi wasn't really sexualized. Infantilized maybe at times (but, like, that was the joke), but they maintained that she was a simple girl who didn't really like or dislike femininity. She just... Was. And the other hosts still liked her. It was just nice that there was never a huge change to her looks or personality (yes I know the first episode but a) she was posing as a guy and b) she looked similar in middle school she just couldn't afford the Ouran uniform), they loved her for her.

Tamaki's backstory always gets me emotional. The last two episodes are just masterpieces to me. I would sell my soul for another season or even just a movie.

So yeah, those are my thoughts! Maybe I'll make future posts when I find the time to rewatch. I tricked my guy friend into watching a few episodes but he's a pussy who can't handle the twincest. Men🙄

[indestructibleheart]

Hi, fam! Okay, so I'm going to be out at an appointment tomorrow morning, so I'm kicking this off a little bit early. It's technically Wednesday in several timezones and very nearly Wednesday in mine. I'm... also a bit eager to share this, ngl.

I know that I've shared a lot of angst lately, but I swear that's not all I'm doing. 😅 In fact, the actor/playwright AU decided to wallop me in the face out of nowhere after sitting in my WIP folder for months. I'm really excited about it, so I'm gonna share the first scene!

(Also, those of you who have been to New York with me will recognize my favorite brunch spot in this scene lmao.)

---

You probably didn't even know I was in the room, but I noticed you straight away. You were talking with your friends, happy and animated and fully alive—a person living in dimensions I couldn’t access—and so beautiful. Your hair was longer then. You were the center of attention, but you weren’t afraid. You had a yellow ipê-amarelo in your pocket. I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen; I'd better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire.

INT. MOM'S KITCHEN & BAR - HELL'S KITCHEN - LATE MORNING

"I'm telling y'all," Alex is saying, punctuating with dangerously large bites of his pancake burrito. "The dude's a dick." 

It's been two hours since the nightmare audition, but Alex has been on this tirade since June and Nora first slid into the retro diner chairs across from him (at least forty-five minutes ago).

They're at Mom's: a restaurant-bar in midtown that can only be described as millennial nostalgia incarnate. The trio fell in love with it two years back—post-karaoke, stumbling in right before closing—when Alex saw God in their Fruity Pebble pancakes.  Since then, it's been his favorite place to eat his feelings.

Mom's is just really fucking comforting in general, honestly; whether it's the televisions cycling through episodes of 'Rugrats,' 'Dexter's Laboratory,' and 'Hey, Arnold!' or  the rainbow straws and Lisa-Frank-looking menus, Alex can't be sure. It doesn't hurt that they've made friends with several of the waitstaff, including an eccentric bartender, Pez, whose pink hair and painted nails fit right in with the decor. 

Today, it's the combination of breakfast sausage, bacon, eggs and cheese wrapped up in a syrup-soaked pancake that's really doing something for him. It could also be the margarita the size of his face, which Pez placed in front of him before making himself uncharacteristically scarce. But it's fine. He's probably just busy.

Alex won't admit it out loud, but what really helps is having June and Nora here to talk to… even though Nora is scrolling on her phone.

"I'm sorry," June says. She pokes an ice cube with her straw, and Alex watches as it bobs around her mimosa like a buoy. "That sounds like it sucked, but if he's really that rude… maybe you didn't want to work with him anyway."

Nora doesn't look up as she pops a home fry into her mouth. 

"Several sources say he's difficult to work with," she adds, evidently reading about Henry on the internet. "Though, in his defense, his dad did just die, like, three years ago… and there was that whole thing when he came out after. Remember?"

Alex does remember. Henry's grandmother, Mary Mountchristen, runs a pretty major company that used to own half the theatres on the West End. When Henry came out last year, she tried blacklisting his shows from her properties to punish him—which totally backfired when it got around. At least a dozen other queer writers and producers started talking about how they were also denied the space, and Mary was stoned on the streets of the theatre district. Like, metaphorically. 

Alex, Nora, and June had just moved to New York, but between June's position at Newsday and both Alex and Nora on the audition circuit, it was all anyone in their new circles could talk about. They were some of the first to know when the Mountchristens were bought out of their properties and Henry moved to the States.

This show is the first of Henry's being produced here—and it's autobiographical, which Alex has to admit is pretty fucking baller. So, yeah, Nora's not wrong. He has reason to be standoffish. Still, it doesn't explain why Alex was only halfway through his audition monologue when Henry abruptly stood up and exited stage left as if pursued by a bear.

He shoves another forkful into his mouth. "It's just, like, they're the only people who let me into the room," he says, barely finishing chewing. "Nobody wants to take me seriously, and I really thought this was my shot, you know?"

June and Nora both know Alex is having a hard time landing serious roles after growing up on a sitcom—Nora more than most, as his former co-star. What they don't know is that losing this role, specifically, feels like a kick to the stomach. From the moment Alex saw the script, he wanted to be a part of it. He can't even explain why, and now he'll never figure it out. Henry wouldn't give him a chance.

"It wasn't your only shot, and you know it." Nora fixes him with a look. "Seriously, I get it—I do—but it's just one play, buddy."

June nods. "Something will happen for you, baby brother."

At that, Alex finally groans. "Okay, calling me baby brother doesn't help me feel better about the entertainment industry infantili—"

"—itty bitty, teeny weeny—"

Alex throws a home fry at her face. 

It bounces off her forehead and into the giant gauntlet holding her mimosa with a very unappetizing splash. Just as Alex throws his hands into the air with a victorious whoop, his phone buzzes on the table. 

A glance is all it takes for him to see that it's his agent, Zahra.

"Damn," he says, deflating. There goes that upswing. "You answer it."

June balks. "Me?"

"I don't need to hear how fucking badly it went. Trust me, I got the message." Alex blinks innocently, like he's six years old again, asking her to lie to their mom about that broken vase. "Please, Bug? Besides, Zahra actually likes you."

"Everyone likes me." June rolls her eyes, but she caves—answering the phone with a haughty, "Alex Claremont-Diaz's office," before breaking into a smile. "Yeah, Z. It's me… No, Alex is feeling a little sensitive today."

(He throws another home fry at her. This one misses.)

To her credit, June's face remains totally blank as Zahra no doubt tells her how Alex insulted Henry Fox's name and all of his inbred ancestors just by showing up, or whatever—which is extremely annoying and unhelpful—but, once she says goodbye and sets the phone back down on the table, her face breaks out into a grin.

"Guess you didn't suck too bad," she says. "They want you for the part."

He doesn't know if it's Nora throwing herself at him or the shock that knocks him onto the floor.

Tagging some lovelies. If you haven't been tagged and you want to be, consider this your tag!

@anchoredarchangel, @barbiediaz, @cha-melodius, @cricketnationrise, @guillermosfamiliar, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @hippolotamus, @inexplicablymine, @jettestar, @junebugclaremontdiaz, @kiwiana-writes, @lizzie-bennetdarcy, @missgeevious, @mulderscully, @myheartalivewrites, @ninzied, @nontoxic-writes, @notspecialbabe, @priincebutt, @rmd-writes, @rosedavid, @three-drink-amy, @treluna4, @vanillahigh00, @welcometololaland, @orchidscript, @ships-to-sail, @stereopticons

[whoovesnassistant]

Progress Update

Been a bit since we did one! That's just because things have been both fast and slow at the same time.

Firstly, progress on episode 16 has hit a bit of a lull due to people being busy and one really long scene that's taking a while to put together. Artwork for the episode is coming in still though, and we have some new artists. We're trying to pick things up as best we can.

Episode 17 has some character lines in but not all, and not enough to put any scenes together yet. We'll probably start letting artists claim scenes soon as well.

We're planning on recording an episode 15 commentary this upcoming weekend which will feature both parts.

This is also an informal announcement that we have a special remastered episode that will be released after a few more things on the schedule have been posted.

We have lots of shorts for our TikTok and youtube shorts

Speaking of shorts, our episode shorts are being worked on, one is missing a couple lines and the VA didn't have internet access for a while so those will only just now be coming in.

Finally, we've adopted some of the old Pony in a Box crew behind Doctor Whooves Adventures, since we thought they might want to continue working on a Doctor Whooves project for old time's sake. We're excited to have them and hope to see them in some future episodes!

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but genuinely, the things I’ve seen said about Aemond these last few days disgust me. The bodyshaming is fucking insane. I’ve seen people say that it was more of a jumpscare/more traumatising to see Aemond naked than to see Jahaerys’ head reattached to his body. I’ve seen people say that he looked like Voldemort’s fetus when curling up against the madam. The fucking hatred against Aemond is in-FUCKING-sane. Hate Aemond all you want, I could not care less. But speaking about his body? Especially with so much hate?? Aemond does not exist, he’s not hurt about what you’re saying. But Ewan? The ACTOR PORTRAYING Aemond?? He is REAL and CAN be hurt by your words. I find these people disgusting. Hating the personality of someone, a bad or good person, gives you no fucking right to hate on their body. Whether they be fat, skinny, conventionally ugly or pretty, I do not care. As someone who was hurt because of such comments before, it’s infuriating to see. These people should be ashamed of themselves.

Anyway, sorry for ranting, I just really needed to get this off my chest. Love you <3

Heeeeey, nonnie!

Sorry for the delayed replay - to clarify, all, this is in relation to Episodes 2 and 4 (I think?) of the recent season, specifically with Aemond's nudie scenes.

I pretty much instablocked everyone either saying the gross things or the people making constant posts complaining about the gross things being said, so I didn't cop a lot of it on my feed. But I do think it's so very typical of just The Worst People TM congregating in the ASOIAF fandom to do this kind of stuff. Bodyshaming, slutshaming, shaming in general - it's what these arseholes do at this point, honestly. And it isn't okay. I found it all amusing too, in a weird way, because it just goes to show how insanely wrong people were about the direction of Aemond's character. Some of the fandom allowed themselves to forget the difference between headcanon and the actual story being told (and regardless of whether or not you enjoyed it, it is show canon now) and are now upset that they've raced ahead and filled in the gaps in a manner that is now wrong. Instead of going "oh, personally not a fan, oh well, will write fanfic differently" they jumped STRAIGHT to "I must be a terrible human being in my tantrum". It's gross, but so very typical at this point.

My advice, after having done the exact opposite of this in the past? Don't engage. You aren't going to change their minds. They've posted it on the internet because they are either so confident they're right or they're determined to stick to their guns regardless. Block. Bar them access. Eventually, their grossness will take itself out to the trash, where they belong.

Thank you for sharing this, nonnie. I hope splooting it in my inbox made you feel better! I enjoyed reading your thoughts!

[realcleverscience]

AI Customization: How I Dealt with a Stupid Youtube Feature

Youtube has a feature where, if you didn't finish your last video, it'll pop up in a miniplayer on your youtube homepage.

Personally, I hate this thing. I never use it. It just blocks the screen and means more button clicking. I emailed google months ago about it, asking them for an option to disable it, but no luck.

Today, annoyed again, I asked AI for help. It noted that there were some options in the youtube app to turn them off, but I'm just using the browser on my laptop, so that wouldn't help. It then linked to a firefox extension, but it only had like 5 reviews and seemed very sus. I didn't want to install it.

So, I asked chatgpt to help me create my own extension that would run on my laptop.

Now, I am not a computer coder. I can do some basic html, and that's about it. But after 10 minutes of back and forth, q and a, with the AI, I now have my own firefox extension that does exactly what I want: It blocks the miniplayer on the youtube homepage. It's perfect.

I think one of the things about AI that most people don't appreciate is how it will allow on-the-fly creation of customized coding solutions.

I think we're all used to having problems, and trying to find software that hopefully addresses our needs, and isn't too expensive or complex. But with AI today we don't need to find existing one-size-fits-all solutions and shoehorn them into our workflows. We are reaching a point where AI can just design our solutions on the spot. As another example, let's say you got some complex data to be analyzed. If the AI doesn't have the intrinsic ability to answer your data analysis questions, it can just code for programs that do. (This is, in fact, how some AI models work.)

Just like the internet lowered barriers to information access, AI is lowering barriers to intelligence and its products. When I was a kid, if you wanted to know about, say, the history of dandelions, you'd need to go to the library and prepare for a lot of research - and it probably wasn't something you'd just do randomly; today, you can jump down any ol data rabbit hole at 2am from your bed. Of course, libraries still exist, researching still exists, etc - but the internet made it so much easier, we can now indulge our every curiosity with ease. Similarly, AI will not just accelerate research, but will allow us in our daily lives to indulge in whatever intelligence endeavor we so desire.

p.s. AI is still a young field. It's still far from perfect. But it's improving at breakneck speed.

p.s. some customization ideas I'd love to be able to implement: in the car "move to another radio station anytime the band Queen comes on the radio" (I love queen but its SO overplayed). "If a phone call with my folks exceeds an hour, make the phone ring so I have an 'out' to go if I want." "Block any youtube videos or tumblr posts about episodes of my favorite shows that I've not yet seen."

[thewakingcloak]

The State of Things Past

this post is mirrored from the Studio Spacefarer Patreon! please consider supporting me, and you’ll get access to devlog posts, gifs, and other info before the public!

Like I mentioned in my previous post, The Waking Cloak has been in development for eight years.

ProtoDungeon: Episode III has itself been in development for a few years, pretty much since 2019 (oooof). I've gotten plenty of questions about how the project is coming, as well as the occasional question of whether The Waking Cloak / ProtoDungeon is even alive at all at this point. Thank you for asking this. It means people are still interested in these games.

Okay, but still, what happened? Why are things taking so long? Well, this post is the first in the Christmas Carol series, in which the ~Ghost of Spacefarer Past~ appears to explain things (wooo spooky explanation sounds).

Progress has been made, very slowly, on ProtoDungeon: Episode III. I'd love to have done more, but, well… in the time since I released Episode II, we continued adjusting to parenthood for our first kid, went through the pandemic, had a second baby (who is now almost 3yo), and survived through a series of really difficult events, which culminated in a move to a new house in a new town and the start of a new chapter (but that last bit we'll save that for the Ghost of Christmas Present so he feels useful).

But yeah, it's been a rough ride. My wife and I are intentionally open about what's been going on. At the same time, the internet is an extremely public place, and I don't want to overshare, or worse, trigger anything for anyone, so I'll try to keep this list brief:

Two miscarriages (the first one was late term, and absolutely, brutally devastating)

The loss of our faith community due to the pandemic

Loss of job for my wife due to the pandemic (the pandemic was unkind to teachers)

Loss of a dream job prospect for my wife (same issue)

The great Texas freeze and power outage (us huddling under blankets in shifts through the night with our newborn infant (he's fine now!))

Severe, life-threatening post-partum and post-natal depression

Family covid and two-week cabin-fever quarantines (twice, despite being vaccinated and careful)

The death of my grandma (we were not able to attend her memorial due to aforementioned covid and living on the other side of the country)

Multiple heart attacks for my father despite his active and healthy lifestyle

Autoimmune disease scare for my wife (may still be a thing, just dormant?)

etc., etc., ad infinitum.

A lot of people have had things significantly worse, so this is definitely not an attempt to "compare griefs" as it were. This is just context for, no matter how much I wanted it to be otherwise, the fact that I didn't have the mental or emotional (or temporal) space for creativity. It was one thing after another, and we were just trying to keep our heads above water.

Even when we'd mostly recovered from the hits that just kept comin', we moved away from what my wife lovingly refers to as the "trauma house", and she started a teaching job at a brand-new school. Both were good things, but they were pretty big transitions, and it takes time for the ol' brains to adjust. We love our new home now and have a bit more breathing room.

Okay but also I HAVE been working on ProtoDungeon. Dev was really sporadic, but it did happen. The next post will have more detail on the status of Episode III, but there were kind of two big things I worked on during the past three years, big shifts in the foundation of ProtoDungeon and The Waking Cloak.

First, I switched game perspective. I made a few posts about this a while back, but PD/TWC interiors were originally like Zelda interiors (where you see the insides of all four walls). There are good reasons to do this, but it was also kinda making me crazy. So I switched to a more natural front-perspective, keeping things consistent with the exteriors. It definitely was the right choice for the game I wanted to build, but it took time.

Second, and building on that, I made the game fully faux-3D. You can walk behind or in front of stuff--not something the old Zelda games did, and still pretty rare for 2D games. I was toying with the idea for a long time, but I played through an old PlayStation title, Alundra, and that convinced me it could be done. It's way harder than you might expect, and it was a massive block for me for literally years. I was able to slowly work my way past it and finally resolved it with a 3D z-tilting method, but dev slowed to a crawl.

And that's it for now! The ghost releases you from your vision of Spacefarer Past….

Thanks for reading :)

[gringolet]

I read your intro to arthuriana post and didn't see this but I'm super sorry if you posted it somewhere else, do you have any recommendations on where to get started with the vulgate?

of course! it depends on whether ur asking how to access it or what part to read first, but in terms of access, @/tillman (dont want to pester its notifs) has a scan on his website of the first two parts. the entire norris lacy translation is on internet archive and you can check it out an hour at a time for free, and i have a link to the death of arthur (last section) in my intro post. you can get the penguin versions of the grail quest and morte, the last two sections, used for quite cheap but the rest are 20-30 bucks each for physical copies. in terms of reading order i think it depends what you’re interested in; the first section (ignoring josephus which everyone should) is the merlin, which tells of merlins, arthurs, gawains, guineveres and a bunch of other knights origin stories and childhoods, as well as a bunch of political background for the war with the saxons. the next part is the longest encompassing pike three or four volumes, and thats the lancelot section. this is his origin, adventures, affair with the queen, and how galahad came to be. this is the most episodic and eclectic section and it covers a lot of random adventures and interactions between knights. one of the sections is named after agravaine despite the fact that hes barely in it. the final two sections, the grail and the mort, weve already covered. u dont have to read thwm all or read them in order, just start with what seems most interesting!!

[tobyblogger]

"Joseph's Schoolday"

After my odd experience with that strange version of Five Nights at Prototype Fredbear's, I recently discovered a show created by Joseph called Joseph’s World. The show features three comedic friends: Joseph, Zach, and Shellin. Joseph is a fictional version of his real-life counterpart, Zach is his real-life brother of the same name, and Shellin is the adopted pet who replaced the original character, Gary, from the 2018 version of the show.

The show struggled when it began its reboot, and Joseph himself was having problems at school at the time. This led to the creation of an episode titled "Joseph’s Schoolday." According to the community page of the JTS YouTube channel (where Joseph’s World first aired), Joseph stated that the episode was initially intended to be a dark PSA related to school and a reflection of his personal experiences.

This episode was originally sent privately to Joseph’s trusted friends, but an account user by the name of JTSArchive obtained the episode and posted it on a website called Internet Archive. This site is typically used to preserve old internet content to prevent it from being lost. This is how I gained access to the episode.

The episode began with a dark yellow background displaying the black text "Joseph’s World." The text then moved towards the screen before cutting to the episode title. The episode is titled "Joseph’s Schoolday," and it clearly followed the same title template as the final episodes, such as "Streptococcus," "Christmas Special," the previous episode titled "Pilot," and "Flood Trouble." However, this one had a slightly darker tone to match the depressing nature of the episode.

It stayed on this for a moment until something flashed on the screen with no transition. Don’t worry, this was not a dead corpse but rather a photo-negative image of Joseph lying in bed, looking sad. It seemed reminiscent of the scene in "Streptococcus" where Joseph was coughing and eventually woke up with strep throat, covering his throat and stating that he had strep. However, this scene didn’t look like that at all. The scene then cut abruptly, showing the credits in the same order as the normal episodes.

The credits were as follows: it stated that the episode was directed by Joseph Arrington (also known as JosephTheSnail) and co-directed by Andrew Reid. I was somewhat surprised because I knew the normal episodes were only made by Joseph and not co-directed by someone else. I had no idea who Andrew was, but I believe he was a former friend of Joseph.

It then showed the story and screenplay credits. Once again, it was created by Joseph as usual. Next, it showed the starring characters: Joseph, Zach, and Shellin. One thing I noticed and forgot to mention is that when the normal intro starts, you typically see the characters within rectangles with their names underneath as a way of introducing them (I tried my best to explain the normal intro), but this episode’s intro lacked that entirely. It didn't even have the catchy, classical music in the background.

After the intro, the episode shows the house of the main characters. However, the house looked very different compared to the final version; it resembled the house from the classic version of the show but with a darker yellow roof. If you've seen the house in the recent episode titled "Flood Trouble," you'll know what I'm referring to. After this, the screen then fades into the left window, which has light reflecting out of it.

It showed the living room with the right window, indicating that it was daytime for some reason, even though it was dark in the previous frame. Joseph was sitting on the purple couch, looking sad and blinking occasionally. When I turned up the volume, it sounded like there was a fan running in the background, but the sound was deeper. What I forgot to mention earlier was that the episode had been playing faint static the whole time. As it showed Joseph sitting sadly, a quick black screen flashed intermittently with no apparent changes. Later in the video, I started to hear someone sobbing in the background before the screen faded to black.

The screen then cut to what seemed to be a sad and disturbing flashback at a school. It showed Joseph in fear, being pushed into a locker behind him, which sounded painful. It was very obvious when he started to fall to the ground, tearing up in the process. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the locker had blood on it. The scene then faded to black once more, followed by a black screen with white text.

I had no clue who was talking, but I believe the voices were those of the bullies and the teacher. Here are the captions:

“We’re sorry!”

“We didn’t mean to hurt him like that!”

The screen eventually cut to Joseph lying on the ground. I knew he wasn't dead, as this was just a simple flashback showing what had happened. As it faded to black, someone started speaking, whom I believe was the teacher. Here are the captions once again:

“Oh god!”

“Joseph?!”

“Keep him out for a couple of days until he recovers.”

I noticed that the static grew louder, and after this frame, it showed a brief and quick video unrelated to the actual episode. Instead, it showed the usual JTS intro that played at the start of every episode of Joseph’s World. It eventually transitioned to the next scene, where Joseph is sitting on the couch, looking even sadder than before. There was no sobbing this time, but after a minute, Joseph put his hands over his eyes and began quietly crying. The camera then zoomed in on his face.

The crying in the background grew louder, and instead of just sounding like someone was starting to cry, it actually sounded like Joseph was crying this time. Once again, the screen faded out, and this scene felt a little disturbing.

It showed Joseph slowly removing his hands from his eyes, revealing bloodshot eyes with tears streaming down his face. It probably wasn’t too disturbing on its own, but the way he was staring at the camera made the scene very unsettling. Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear I saw that image in my hallway, peeking at me through the doorway. When I looked towards the door, the image was not there.

At this point, the scene seemed intentionally disturbing. After a minute, I heard someone screaming in the background. Clearly, the screaming was a stock sound, but it added to the eeriness of the scene. Then I heard someone laugh, and text flashed on the screen again, saying this:

“DO IT.”

The text appeared again, followed by a quick image flashing on the screen; it was a silhouette of a snail. Since I had seen the episode that replaced this one, Streptococcus, I knew this was not Shellin but his cousin Gary, who was his original counterpart in the older version of the show before becoming the main villain of the series. The text said “REMEMBER ME?” in the top left corner before cutting to a black screen.

After a minute, the episode took a very dark turn. Joseph was seen sitting on his bed, looking out the window, which was pitch-black outside. His eyes were reddish, and his eyelids were black. It stayed like this for a moment in unsettling silence. After the silence, really disturbing music started playing.

The music in question was clearly from a number station, playing an unnerving and creepy version of the Swedish Rhapsody. It was the exact same audio in this scene, except it was reversed, which made it even creepier. As this song started playing, the background grew darker, with only Joseph’s bed and himself remaining visible. The screen then cut to Joseph staring at the camera, still retaining his sad expression.

It remained like this for a moment until Joseph lowered his upper eyelids again; this time, the background lightened up once more. He continued to lower them, returning to the pitch-black background.

It remained like this for a moment, but remember when I mentioned this scene was darker? Well, Joseph began to lift up a noose and then stared back at the viewer before the screen started to fade to black. I’m not sure if I should describe this part, but I’ll try to explain it in the most appropriate way possible. Well, there's really no safer way to put it, but here goes. It was obvious what he was going to do anyway; Joseph was essentially holding the noose, and then the screen cut to black, showing Joseph’s legs hanging.

He had done it.

This part made me jump because of the loud noise it made. It was the same noise that played when an animatronic in Five Nights at Prototype Fredbear’s appeared at the office door or vent, indicating imminent danger. Just hearing that sound was enough to bring back bad flashbacks. If you've read my post about this game, you would understand the torment that Prototype Fredbear caused me both mentally and physically through my nightmares.

Anyway, enough about my life. This scene was very disturbing and brutal. It was quite obvious that he had hung himself. The depiction showed Joseph with his mouth open, his forehead slightly purple, and his complexion extremely pale. His eyes remained red, but there was a shadow around them, possibly indicating blood coming from his eye sockets. The scene lingered like this before fading to black.

It then cut to the last scene, possibly depicting the funeral, with Zach and Shellin in funeral attire. Even though Shellin isn’t wearing clothes, being a snail, he's depicted sitting on a rock with rain in the foreground and sad music in the background. The music is a deeper version of the song titled "Wind’s Wreck" created by Creepypasta music composer Myuu, with the two grieving characters looking down in sadness.

The screen fades to what they’re looking at: a tombstone saying “R.I.P. Joseph A.” with the bottom text being his comedic catchphrase, “Why you!” There's a can of Root Beer, his favorite drink, sitting next to the tombstone before fading into black.

The episode then ends with the following text:

“This is how it feels to be the bullied.”

I immediately closed the episode and exited the Internet Archive. And before you dismiss this as just another silly and stupid creepypasta I wrote, let me clarify: Yes, I know this might not present the best image, but I don’t care. This episode is actually real and can be found on the website.

One thing I should note before I conclude this post:

The episode lingered in my mind long after I finished writing this post on Tumblr. JTS didn’t want ANYONE to discover this episode; Joseph didn’t want anyone like me to stumble upon it. He only intended for his trusted friends to watch it; he didn’t want anything like THIS to be leaked.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

I am about 1 million years late to this but thank you for the tag @graphitekayla!!!

Rules: without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favorite shows, then tag 10 people. I'm definitely going to break this rule; you can't give me the opportunity to gush about my faves and not expect me to name them all!!

If anyone has followed me for any length of time none of this will be a shock lmao.

Shadowhunters, and more broadly speaking The Mortal Instruments. My first real fandom!!! I cannot overstate the impact the books and show had on my life. I wouldn't be who I am without it. I have an angelic rune tattoo. Magnus and Alec are some of the first queer characters I remember reading about. I remember where I was when they kissed for the first time in the show. You stupid nephilim lives rent free in my brain. This show (and the books) truly set up the trajectory my life is on now, and I will always always remember it fondly. Even with all the drama and discourse.

2. Critical Role, specifically C2. My first true obsession after the decade long Shadowhunters debacle. I stumbled into it to learn how to play D&D (which I now know is a controversy in and of itself lmao). But my friend @midnightellis wanted us to start a game, and I needed a way to learn that wasn't reading the books, so I started C2. It took 11 or 12 episodes, but then I fell in love. I spent the next almost year watching the entirety of C2 which culminated in visiting them to watch the finale together. I was extremely jetlagged. It was basically 8 amazing hours of nonstop crying. I have zero regrets. Except for the fact I still need to get the tattoo I had planned rip. One day!! I promise!!

3. Arcane!!!! A brief interlude between Shadowhunters and CR. There was about 4 months were I was OBSESSED and watched the entire show like 3 times back to back. I have many thoughts and feelings about Jayce. The show is also just so visually stunning. I cannot wait for S2 to drop in November!!!!!! I know nothing about League but I do really love this show.

4. House. Iconic. What else needs to be said? House is very much a comfort show for me; great to rewatch during the winter. I've watched the entire thing almost three times now, and even got my mom hooked lol. It was fun seeing all her reactions to everything before I moved.

5. If I had known what fandom was when this was airing, I truly would have been all over that shit. But I was 8 and didn't have access to the internet. Aang/Katara def my first otp lol. I did, however, ignore a friend that was over at my house to watch the finale, I believe. I definitely told them to go play so I could watch the show uninterrupted. Needless to say, they were not thrilled with that. I'm 90% sure it was the finale now, but I could be wrong about the episode. ATLA is also another comfort show that I could watch over and over again.

6. Shadow and Bone. I am still SICKENED this got canceled. Genya and David are the ultimate romance, and no one will convince me otherwise. I almost stopped reading when I found out his fate. I was devastated. Everyone in this show is also very pretty. I can't believe we won't get a s3.

I'm going to stop here because this is already long enough, and tbh I'm not sure I actually have four more shows. I can only be obsessed with one thing at a time, and the current obsession is Path of Night. And that does not seem to be waning any time soon.

Edit: Lost should 100% be on this list. I think I've watched it at least four times. My family and I watched it live as it was airing when I was a kid. And it still is one of my favorite shows. I know people got beef with the ending but I truly didn't mind it. Even if it's bad or whatever, I think Lost is still 100% worth watching. There are so many little hints and clues that I pick up something different every time, and each character death hits just as hard.

I'm going to tag: @gelatinouscute, @peppedstep, @midnightellis, @discordkittenterumi, @im-a-vampire-now, @zeena-athena , @syntia13treeman , @sapphicfugue , @dr-thumbs-brand-new-spot

If you want to do this :)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Report on new directions/future plans in my longterm comedy podcast listening.

Well, I’ve reached the end of the long-term thing that I listened to constantly and nearly exclusively for four months. The Elis James/John Robins XFM/Radio X years, plus a side project of anything else John Robins did at the same time. When I got to the end, I said in a few posts that it felt like it in its last few months it was changing direction a little bit, in a way I didn’t love quite as much, and I knew it the move to the BBC would send it sharply more in that direction (more mature, more professional, among a few other more specific things).

So I wasn’t sure if I would jump right into the BBC episodes, even though I have them all downloaded. Because a while ago I got concerned that they were deleting old episodes, as I’d opened a podcast feed once to find them there and then again later to find the first 24 gone. I’ve since realized those were two different podcast feeds, the official one that for some reason is missing the first 24, and an unofficial one that has them all. But anyway, I became concerned about whether they might disappear, as I always do with any media I like but do not own (in the form of an mp3 or mp4 saved to my hard drive, not just accessing it through some other platform). So I got a very helpful friend who knows about programming scripts to download them all off BBC Sounds and send them to me, and did the same with the XFM/Radio X episodes for good measure, so now even if the podcast feeds take those down for whatever reason I’ll still have them. Not that I expect that to happen but, you know, it does sometimes. Also, cutting out clips is easier if I already have the mp3s and don’t have to keep downloading it every time I want to do that. I am probably a bit overly meticulous with my need to download and save everything I like on the internet, not trusting that it’ll just stay up there. But I’d rather be overly cautious than not cautious enough and lose stuff when it disappears.

I thought I might just move on from the Robins/James stuff after I achieved retro oner status from the Radio X years, but then I went exactly one day without it and immediately found I missed it. It really was perfect for my purposes. I had in on constantly for months during the commutes to and from work, on break or while doing admin at work, and most of the time I was at home. I took a break for a few weeks just before I finished all the episodes, and missed it then. I just got used to it, that many hours of this one type of humour, I decided a day later that I couldn’t just leave it there after all, and I would at least start the BBC ones.

And then. Okay. This is fine. This is objectively fine. It upset me for entirely subjective and pointless reasons. But. Okay. Some time ago – maybe six weeks, I’m not sure and I don’t want to look it up and check – I posted an old video I found on YouTube featuring John Robins. It was a nice video but also clearly from a long time ago and not something he’d chosen to upload as part of his current career, and as such I almost hesitated to share it, but then I did anyway, because it was a nice video and it’s fine.

The other day, it was brought to my attention that that video has been taken off YouTube. I had previously been aware that some people connected to that video had seen my Tumblr post about it, and that freaked me out enough, but I didn't find out that the video got taken off the internet until, fortunately, just after I finished listening to the radio show (fortunate because I'd have found it hard to finish the show while knowing that). It's definitely my fault. It sat there unnoticed for 14 years, since it was uploaded in 2010, and everyone forgot about it, and it was doing fine on there. Then I share it on Tumblr, which brings its existence to the attention of people who’d forgotten about it, and it almost immediately gets taken down.

I of course still have the video, due to my policy that I’ve already outlined in this post. I downloaded it immediately after finding it. But while I downloaded that one, I did find myself thinking, this is a bit silly, even for me. Obviously I don’t need to worry about this one disappearing from the internet. It doesn’t have any kind of copyright issue that could get a strike, it’s a home video just owned by the people who appear in it. It’s been there for 14 years. That’s not going to suddenly change. But I downloaded it anyway, because, I don’t know, what if there’s some wild scenario where they suddenly remember it’s there and get rid of it? It did not occur to me for a moment that me sharing it on Tumblr would be the event that causes that happen. But that is definitely what happened.

Normally, in a case like this, I would make a Tumblr post about how a video I liked has disappeared from the internet, but don’t worry, everyone, I have heroically saved it, and I’ve now uploaded it to Tumblr so people can enjoy it once more. But I won’t do that with this video, because this time, they took it down for the specific reason that they did not want it shared on my specific Tumblr blog. That’s the thing they were trying to prevent.

I will of course respect it, but also, what the hell? Something getting shared on my Tumblr blog does not mean it will be spread around. Any given post of mine is read by like four people. There is no one here, guys, it’s absolutely fine. I do try to have some amount of respect and discretion on this blog with the things I get to listen to that aren’t supposed to be a matter of public record, but I pretty much do that out of theoretical, hypothetical principle. I could say anything, it wouldn’t matter, because no one is reading this. Okay like four people are reading this, but statistically, in the grand scheme of things, no one is reading this. And I promise I won’t tell Steve Bennett. It’s all fine.

It doesn’t actually matter that a short video got taken off YouTube. I’m pretty sure no one actually saw my Tumblr post and thought it was a huge problem and I’d committed a grave error by sharing it. It was an 86-second video of a digital DJ singing a Bob Dylan song in 2010, he wasn’t saying racial slurs or anything. But I had been posting a lot about that radio show over the last few months, including posting some stuff that was probably too personal and getting too into digging up all the stuff I could find around it, and did feel self-conscious that I was taking the fandom too far, and now that I know something I put out there actually did come to their attention and cause them to decide they don’t want that out there, I feel like a child who played with a toy too hard and broke it. And now I don’t want to poke at that toy any more in case I break it further. By which I mean listening to more John Robins at this point will induce what he refers to as the shame well.

So I’m going back to my decision to leave the BBC podcasts, though I will keep them downloaded in case someone suddenly decides to remove them from the internet. And instead, for my next long-term thing that I play on the way too and from work and whenever I get a break or any free time nearly anywhere… I’m not proud of this choice, and I’m not saying I’m definitely going to stick with it. It is possible that this brand of terrible offensive humour will get old quickly, and I’ll want to move to something else because I listen to all the hours of this. But for the moment, I have downloaded every episode of the Ray Peacock Podcast and the Peacock and Gamble podcasts. Downloaded the mp3s off Fourble, because the RSS feeds seem to be missing some stuff, and I just like have these things saved.

I listened to the first seven or so episodes of Peacock and Gamble a while ago now, it repeatedly made me laugh but also made me check to make sure my headphones were definitely connected and no one in the centre for disabled children where I work could hear the kind of filth I was listening to during my breaks. Elis and John never made me feel the need to check on that, which was nice.

I’m just really craving some unprofessionalism in my comedy right now, and that’s got to be the best way to get it. I listened to the first three episodes of the Ray Peacock Podcast today, and Jesus Christ. A lot of different types of offensive going on there. Some that I think are objectively fine even if offensive to some (explicit sexual talk), some not so much (no need to get too specific about that, I’m sure you can imagine). But it was really funny. Made me laugh out loud on the bus, and also check to make sure my headphones were definitely connected on the bus. I'm pretty sure nothing that comes out of Ray Peacock's mouth is true, so that does help.

It's a very easy listen, the way drunk food that's terrible for you is easy to eat. Twice now, I've reached the end of an episode and been surprised because it didn't feel like I'd been listening for that long.

Any comedy radio show or podcast where someone unironically plugs their MySpace page - that's my favourite era. And that's right where we are, in the early Ray Peacock Podcast (I started with Peacock and Gamble when I was just trying it out months ago, but as I might stick with it this time, I'm starting from the beginning). Ed Gamble appears for the first time in episode 4, so that’ll be fun. I haven’t even got to him yet.

That’ll be fine, right? Peacock and Gamble doesn’t feel like a toy I could break, because it has so little respectability to begin with that I couldn’t tarnish it. And unlike John Robins, it’s not like Ed Gamble said anything in a recording around 2010 that he’d prefer not to have someone dig up in 2024 and share on a blog. (That was of course sarcasm, but also there genuinely isn’t a danger of that, because there’s a difference between what level of unacceptable joke I’m willing to laugh at privately, and what I’m willing to publicly endorse by sharing on Tumblr. Someone might cancel Ed Gamble someday, but it won’t be me. And it wouldn't be me even if I posted transcripts of the eight most offensive things he said in 2009, because there are a maximum of four people reading this.)

Seriously though, I might get sick of this after a few more episodes and go back to where I left off the Pappy's podcast, which is my other option. Or even back to BBC Elis/John, after some time for the initial shame well to dry a bit. It's fine. It'll be fine.

[darkshrimpemotions]

Hello! I've been following your blog ever since the finale of The Winchesters and really love all of the metas you've done, they're all very well made.

I have a question about your thoughts on The Leak. I saw that you had made 2 vague posts about it and how the SPN side of tumblr has been treating it, namely poorly (to speak in delicate terms). I'm currently writing a piece about why potentially this attitude is going on, and why it is so pervasive. I'm asking you since you have obviously been in this fandom far longer than I have, and would like to get a second opinion from someone who may potentially have a more comprehensive view on this issue.

However, I completely understand if you don't respond to this as this is an issue that deals heavily with spoilers. I just thought you're 2 posts about it were interesting and would've liked to hear more from you about it as someone who is a diehard heller yet doesn't agree with what's been going on.

Hi hello. I am finally answering this since Good Omens 2 is now out. I didn't want to draw yet more attention to the leak ahead of time, but the time is come so here I go.

There are a lot of overlapping things factoring into some Hellers' overall reaction to the Good Omens leak and Good Omens 2 in general, but I do not have the bandwidth nor the desire to give anyone a crash course in Heller History & Psychology. It mainly comes down to the fact that Hellers, especially those who've been with the show and ship for years, are wounded more than most of us would like to admit by years of queerbaiting, and a bit defensive as a result.

Many of us are in our late 20s, early 30s, or older and grew up without ANY positive representation at all. What little visibility queer people in media were allowed to have was steeped in themes of deviance and tragedy. And the few truly joyful depictions of us that did exist were not accessible to many of us in our communities, especially before the advent of widespread internet access. As a personal example, I only saw the film Big Eden (2000) in the last five years. I didn't know it existed before then!

Queer representation only became more normalized on television once I was well into my 20s. And even then, it was only normalized within very specific limitations. A character could be introduced as queer or have a Queer Life Script type of story. But the majority of these characters were still steeped in negative stereotypes, and it was basically unheard of for a show that didn't set out to be inclusive to suddenly make one of its main characters queer in canon.

(Tangent: I still remember the first time I saw an unexpected queerness reveal on television. Two men were staring intensely at each other in the midst of an argument and I jokingly said "now kiss" at my television screen. And then they did. And after about 5 seconds of wondering if I had magical powers, my entire brain was rewired forever (it was an episode of Cold Case).)

The point is, it was really easy for a long time for general audience members and fans who didn't like Destiel as a ship to tell us we were stupid and crazy for shipping it, because they had the entire history of film and television in North America backing them up. Not to mention the cherry-picked comments of certain actors over the years, and the behavior of moderators at conventions. And many anti-hellers took full advantage of all that, and still do, and don't acknowledge at all the role that real homophobia plays in supporting their stupid little one-sided ship wars.

All of this to say, Destiel fans have every reason to be defensive and prickly.

That being said, I think malicious spreading of the GO2 leak untagged and unwarned-for was extremely shitty. Ruining something important for someone else because we couldn't have the thing we wanted is childish and self-absorbed beyond belief. Shitting on actual, canonical queer representation because it isn't the ship and show you wanted it from is just shitty, full stop.

And for what? It's not like Warner Brothers is going to wake up one morning and say "wow those Hellers really shit on every other queer rep on offer, guess that means it would be lucrative and smart from a business standpoint to resurrect a cancelled show just to give them canon Destiel after all these years!" But then let's be honest, there's no logic behind this kind of behavior. It's just meanness, bitterness, and spite. And while I sympathize with the bitterness, the meanness and spite are inexcusable.

Finally, the veiled-to-explicit accusations that Good Omens was trying to somehow supplant or copy Destiel are unspeakably stupid.

For one thing, I can think of few things further from "trying to be like Destiel" than taking a queer interpretation of a work that was not really intended by its authors and running with it full speed ahead. Supernatural is an example of how homophobia makes a story worse by flattening its characters and wasting its potential. Good Omens the show is an example of how a willingness to embrace queer interpretations of a story can give it new life and dimension.

So if anything, that's an inversion of what happened with Destiel! Supernatural is a straight man's straightwashed fanfic of a censored version of a queer story. It was forced into the closet at every turn by a homophobic network despite the efforts of queer and queer-friendly writers to course-correct throughout its 15-year run. The sheer number of bisexuals SPN took inspiration from only to straight-wash and queerbait for as long as it did is almost as ridiculous as claiming that a show that did the opposite of that was trying to emulate it.

I also find it stupid because Good Omens the book was published fifteen years before the fifteen-year hate crime that is Supernatural ever aired a single episode. The elements of queerness that the show teased out and expanded upon existed back when Eric Kripke was still what I can only imagine was an insufferable teen proto-filmbro making some poor underpaid high school English professor take up drinking to cope with his hypermasc Americana edgelord bullshit in every essay.

Much like when SPN fans started yelling that Matt Ryan's Constantine was a ripoff of Supernatural and Castiel, this is just embarrassing. If anything, the inspiration for Destiel came from Good Omens, not the other way around.

As for any worries fans express (in their adamant denials) about the Ineffable Lovers "replacing" Destiel, I have to ask...for who? Pretty sure no diehard Heller is going to burn their Castiel handprint patch from Stands as a sacrifice to the gomens gods to prove their loyalty. And anyway, nothing is ever going to approach being the "new Destiel" without at least a dozen years of will-they/won't-they slow burn angst and enemies to allies to enemies to friends to coparents to lovers shenanigans. It's just implausible! We can't even get a show to have five whole seasons anymore nowadays.

I know Destiel is important to Hellers. I'm a Heller. It's important to ME. But we aren't doing ourselves or anyone else any favors by acting like every star-crossed queer love story that comes along is somehow copying or devaluing Destiel. That is just laughably untrue. The Ineffable Lovers will never be Destiel, sure. But who ever said they were trying to be? I thought the whole explicit canonicity bit made it pretty clear that wasn't the case.

TL;DR: Hellers including me all have terminal brainworms from being gaslit since we were impressionable teenagers by Eric Kripke and all his successors, but that's no excuse to intentionally spoil big moments or be shitty about other shows giving their audience canonical queer rep. From the bottom of my Heller heart, grow the fuck up besties.

[purplekoop]

I think because of the specific ways I had internet access growing up and what I was dealing with during "traditional fandom baby time", I've felt kind of distant from the standard fandom experience, even for fandoms that I've followed the main official content for while it was ongoing. At most it was a one-way thing, where I could look into the fandom but not really be an active contributor.

I saw 2012 TMNT on the night of the premier and did my best to watch any episodes I could for a good few years after that, but looking up fanart at 2 AM on my phone when my parents couldn't see was the most I really saw people interacting with it further. I saw a Raph x Mona fankid and it blew my mind for... some reason. Look maybe just the image and notion of the tall space lizard lady being affectionate just did something to a young me. I'm not even sure I saw her debut episode before seeing the art so that was. Probably confusing.

There was also Gravity Falls, a show that I was really only able to follow thanks to wiki articles youtubers piecing together the clues that I didn't have the brainpower or ability to pause episodes to figure out myself. Shoot, shoutouts to Valiskibum, a channel I haven't checked on in years but is still a legend for posting about the theory that predicted *Ford.* I don't know if they came up with the theory on their own or if they just made a video sharing it to a wider platform, but in either case they get appreciation from me for making my dumb kid brain aware of it. And even other than that, I watched ANY news about the show LIKE A HAWK while it was still airing. I tried to follow the Cipher hunt but at that point I lost track, and any side media like books and comics that were released after that is news to me whenever it gets brought up now.

But like. Even *then* it feels like there was so much I missed. I've been following Hana Hyperfixates on YouTube lately (their tumblr url is escaping me), and it boggles me that even for a show I stayed caught up with constantly throughout its entire run, fully aware of its deeper mysteries, it still feels like I missed so much of the experience of being a fan of the show because I just. Wasn't in the fandom loop.

And those are just the shows I *did* follow as they were airing, that doesn't even scratch the stuff I wasn't into as it was happening.

I didn't see a full playthrough of *Undertale* until November of *2021* where I played it alongside my partner during thanksgiving break that year. And not making the same mistake twice, I had followed Deltarune soon after its spontaneous reveal, because I didn't have much better to do with my increased internet access. I played Chapter 2 as soon as it came out, so I was lost on everything from the lion waitress to "what's a NEO" until after the fact. Look, I just thought an Undertale was an annoying popular thing my friends with bad taste were into back in middle school. Now here I am, quantum egg on my face, panicking over the fact Papyrus has touched grass.

All this to say that now finally having this here tumblr starting at "only" the age of 20 (which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't as far off from 14 or 16 as people make it out to be, I'm basically just a teenager with more self awareness) is... interesting. In a nice way, I think.

It's this silly little fandom stuff like fics and OCs and RP and AUs that always felt so distant to me, but was basically the later childhood of my partner and many of my current friends. Stuff that they treat so naturally because they basically grew up on it, while I'm basically just now really getting a grasp on it myself.

It's stuff that I'm just now getting the platform for and familiarity with to really let myself indulge in. It's why I'm so happy with the Splatoon OCs, it's me finally getting to have that silly fun with this kind of stuff that it feels like I've been missing out on for a while.

I've had fan OCs before, all the way back in middle school, to the extent they made a full expansive crossover universe combining every series in Smash Bros into a unified cohesive canon (that's where my username comes from in fact, my sona for years was literally just a unique purple-shelled koopa). My friends were in on it and everything. But then after hitting high school, I eventually abandoned that universe, despite the expansive story I made with it. Partly because I felt like it was too convoluted with too many characters at that point, but also because I'd convinced myself it would be stupid to commit to a creative project that I can't make a profit out of. Essentially, I thought it was dumb to put so much energy into something if it wasn't "productive." This was a sentiment it took me way too long to shake.

So! Yeah! This is officially the "living my cringe" era! I'm going to make Splatoon characters with very canon-inaccurate proportions hold hands and give each other a kiss on the cheek! I'm gonna make a Deltarune AU that I know is probably gonna age like milk because the actual story isn't finished yet! I'm going to post my ideas for how I'd turn the TF2 mercs into Overwatch heroes! And NOBODY's gonna stop me!

...

Hey when did 5 AM get here.

[is-solarpunk]

Solarpunk Writing Prompts #6

Here you can listen to original podcast

Here is the source of the podcast's transcript you can read below

Solarpunk Prompts - The Experts

Hello world. I'm Tomasino.

This is Solarpunk Prompts, a series for writers where we discuss Solarpunk, a movement that imagines a world where technology is used for the good of the planet.

It seeks to answer and embody the question, "what does a sustainable civilization look like, and how can we get there?”

In this series we spend each episode exploring a single Solarpunk story prompt adding some commentary, some inspirations, and some considerations.

Most importantly, we consider how that story might help us to better envision a sustainable civilization.

If this is your first time here, I'd recommend checking out our introduction episode first, where we talk about what Solarpunk is, why you should care, and why this series came into being.

Today's prompt is: "The Experts"

There is a community of very specialized experts. Only a handful exist in the whole world. They are normally hermits, focused on maintaining long-forgotten infrastructure. But their community exists across the internet. They consider themselves a family, even if each of them speaks a different language, and comes from a different culture. And once a blue moon they can even physically visit each other.

Over the last three years many of us have faced some level of undesirable isolation. And with that barest taste we can start to imagine the great sense of loneliness felt by those who work alone for weeks, months, or years at a time.

These people exist in our world today. Jessie Panazzolo was a 26 year old conservationist with an honors degree from Adelaide University who had been working in conservation since she was 14. After a particularly difficult 6-month assignment, she returned home distraught, alone, and defeated. While having drinks with another friend from the conservationist community she found a kindred spirit suffering in the same ways. She thought, “if I’m a lonely conservationist and she’s a lonely conservationist, how many are out there in the world?" And so she started a blog. Lonely Conservationists. In a year it brought in more than 2,500 members. One member called it "global group therapy that you can always access". They share job postings, memes, mental health posts, and support.

In a career of passion work often for little to no pay, with grueling work in sometimes harsh conditions, these people provide a vital service to underfunded NGOs the world over. Their staying power is built upon their compassion and personal drive and belief in their work. But even the most passionate person has struggles, doubts, and experiences the draining loneliness of isolation. So communities like Jessie's are not just a place to relax or talk about their work. They're a vital piece of the infrastructure of that domain. They are a scaffolding that allows connectivity to the unconnected.

Caroline Woodward writes from the Lennard Island Lightstation near Tofino, B.C.

Here is a small excerpt from a piece she contributed to the Globe and Mail in 2020:

Since 2008, I've been paid to watch clouds, among other things, and the criteria for my reports are precise: clear, partly cloudy, cloudy, overcast, partly obscured or obscured. No mariner or aviator needs to hear about white horses flying as high as the stars or the grumpy giants I see among the cirrus and cumulonimbus. Or to know I heard the first saasin, Nuu-chah-nulth for hummingbird, among the salmonberry blossoms yesterday. I file weather reports to Prince Rupert Coast Guard Radio every three hours based on the state of the sky, the sea, the wind, intensity of rain, density of fog and the possibility of showers glowering on the horizon.

But if we didn't have access to the internet, I could not write and work at a lighthouse in the 21st century. That’s my deal-breaker.

She is the author of Light Years: Memoir of a Modern Lighthouse Keeper a book you didn't know you wanted to read until this very moment.

There are others: rangers, anti-poaching activists, and so many more who live their lives in the fringes of society, set apart, alone. And for more and more, they are finding new kinships and community within the internet.

The heart of this prompt isn't the isolation of these experts, but the way they've created a new type of family across vast distances and in spite of differences in language and culture. In a science fiction setting we hear the word isolation and we think of Andy Weir. We think of the Martian or Project Hail Mary, and how science triumphs in these lonely settings. But I caution you, and remind you of our first guideline for Solarpunk. "Community as protagonist".

You see, community is community, whether it's around a camp fire, or across a terminal. The opportunity for us as writers is to make that something the reader can feel. How do you feel close, intimate even, with people who rarely, if ever, see each other's faces?

We can look to the gut-wrenching personal blog posts on the Lonely Conservationists, sharing mental health challenges, eating disorders, financial struggles, and more. These posts are not just stories, they are counseling, they are therapy. They give each other hope, or cry together. In some cases they survive because of one another.

It's the shared challenges that unite them. The shared experiences of hardship.

When we take that into a Solarpunk context and think about how this might be told, there are a few hooks that stand out. Any work that these experts are doing which is oriented toward making humanity live in balance with their ecosystem is on theme. If they are establishing or maintaining infrastructure vital to this mission, then we see a direct illustration of our second guideline: Infrastructure is sexy, but there are no simple solutions. Like Caroline you too can bring the poet to the machine. Show the reader the sublime beauty in that work, in the mundane, and in nature. And in their struggles we will see that cost, willingly paid.

The aspect of the story which holds the most potential, though, is the internet community. Play it straight and explore the hows of the connectivity, or the origins of why. Was it for something else, but now has been converted to this purpose? There's much to explore.

Or, alternatively, we can play with the reader's expectations. Perhaps our future lightkeeper is leaving notes for the day shift, only for us to find much later that day shift is 4,000 miles away.

How does that community empower the individuals? How does it feel to be a part of it?

Thanks for being part of my community and joining me for these episodes. How are they affecting you?

I'll talk to you soon on the next Solarpunk Prompt.

Music in this recording is Twin Dragoon - Hidden in brightness from Global Pattern's compilation Solarpunk: A Brighter Perspective

[unlimited-works-in-progress]

Writer's Issues: Posting Your Works

You don't even know how hard publishing something is for me. I had Warden's Disease in drafts for a month or more, not because it was unfinished or needed to be checked for grammar issues, but for a reason that is very annoying, namely: the fact that I tend to get the satisfaction from posting a single chapter and that satisfaction then carries out for the whole idea and my interest in writing this idea just instantly dies. But at the same time I'm unable to just write the whole fic and then post it each week, because it's not how I was raised as a writer. I'm the episodic writer who used to have a story that ended at chapter 23 when I was just 11 years old. I posted that fic weekly even though I had no access to internet and had to specifically do it at our village's commune office where there were only 3 computers with a poor internet that was shared between machines. There was a queue to it, because any kid in our village needed access, so I just dropped of my bus while going back home as it was on my way, and just went there to post my fic and came back home. It was easy to have routine to write when I was a kid, and I wasn't that good at writing yet. When I became better, writing became a chore, even though I love writing.

It was just too much energy to check it well, especially considering that I'm a perfectionist. Executive dysfunction definitely didn't help. Nowadays, I can't hold any routine for very long, and it's a miracle if I come back to writing a fic after only 1 year of ignoring it entirely when I posted just a prologue or chapter 1. This issue started long time ago, 15 years ago in fact, as any fic I started after that 23 chapters long one (that by the way was unfinished still, I had 24th chapter in the making and just never finished writing it) was no longer than 5 chapters long, with most of them being just 1 chapter long, with one being just half. I just got too much endorphins from posting what I had to continue.

So, yeah, this is why I dread posting. I dread the idea that when I do post the chapter my passion for writing the story will just dissipate.

The sailor moon meme just encapsulates my problem best.

[faithandfairies]

OUAT 6x17 Thoughts

I have a couple more things to say about this episode.

-First and foremost, Regina’s reaction to Hook being back though. I think it’s burned into my memory. The way she’s just looking down all sad. But then she helps Hook up and follows it up with helping Emma up as well. I can’t with Regina’s face in this moment.

-I have to say, the second proposal was almost heartwarming given it followed what might have been the first sort of romantic moments between them. If their moments weren’t still built on a mountain of lies and deception. And if holding onto each other didn’t always lead to some kind of loss for someone else. And the body count per moment only got higher with each one.

I mean, Emma tries to keep Hook alive by turning him into a Dark One. Dark Hook kills Merlin and almost kills Emma’s entire family and resurrects all Dark Ones ever. The dude actually killed the father of magic or something.

Emma goes to the Underworld to get Hook. Regina loses Robin.

Hook tries to get back to Emma. R.I.P. Nemo’s ship. 

Emma takes the door of ambiguous true love to Hook and both her parents lose their ability to live life. Not to mention that that leads to an even higher body count of a lot of people who were under the original Dark Curse, including Regina and even the savior, Emma, and Hook who had both managed to escape it.

I’d say that’s the universe trying to send a pretty clear message. But that’s just me.

-The flower tattoo of deception was back in full view during that moment. I can’t let go of the idea that it’s still a stand-in for that pink flower of deception in these scenes. And possibly stands for deception in general. 

Makes me think of this quote

“Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

(x)

This show has been telling us Captain Swan is true love, while showing us them acting in love with each other while simultaneously glossing over lies and any issues whatsoever. So not a good relationship by real world standards. Not to mention what they haven’t shown us. No true love action between the two in any of the core tried and true ways they established prove true love on this show. Instead what we have seen is these actions not working for them, be it true love’s kiss, true love’s heart share, you name it and it didn’t work for them when it did for our confirmed main true love, still together, couple Snowing and others.

-Another thing that is important is that when the proposal started Regina retreated and pulled Henry with her. But in my opinion if Henry was truly a part of Emma’s family with Hook he wouldn’t have had to leave. I realize that proposals are often private matters, but in this case Henry was already there. Right there. It involved him too. Emma is his mother. Who is raising him at least half the time. Yet, just like Regina, he was on the outside looking in. They even went so far as to have Snowing also present, but also on the outside.Along with Regina and Henry sitting with them. Also clearly showing us the cost of this proposal, like this elephant in the room. Both a couple and a family whose relationship is based on love, trust and honesty broken up, in favor of having another whose relationship is based on lies and deception “win”. In 5x21 Henry said that magic was tearing his parents apart. This proposal couldn’t be a better representation of that if it tried. 

-They also let us know that even with your heart in someone else’s possession you can go against their wishes. I’m guessing it’s just a lot harder. Or...it’s a trap. What are the odds that Gideon, by the order of the Black Fairy, banishes Hook to the Nautilus, that can travel through portals, with supposedly no way of returning to Storybrooke? What are the odds that he ends up in Neverland, where Tiger Lily gives him something that can supposedly help the savior? What are the odds that the Black Fairy’s arrival then leads to the sprouting of pixie flowers and then when heart-ordered to destroy all of them Gideon leaves one alive? One that leads Emma to Hook which would have led her to what Hook needed to give her if he hadn’t managed to think of sending his shadow with it to her? I ask you, what are the odds? I smell a con. Either the Black Fairy actually ordered Gideon to leave a flower alive or she knows Gideon well enough to know he would do that. She has tested him on it, both his loyalty to her and his need to help others in need. Which is actually brilliant because she can actually use people against themselves. Make them think her idea is actually their own. By getting ahead of them, manipulating circumstances and anticipating their reactions correctly. Kind of like how Cora used Regina’s kindness, her knowledge that Regina would save someone who seemed to need it for her own agenda. It’s brilliant, truly. Also, so either Emma needs the thing Tiger Lily got her to fight the final battle, a battle the The Black Fairy really needs to play out. Or the Black Fairy actually needs the thing Tiger Lily got Emma and this is her way to get it. Who knows, Tiger Lily may even be working for the Black Fairy. Either way, no one can convince me that after Gideon betrayed her once, the Black Fairy didn’t know enough to realize that it could happen again even without Gideon having his heart. She said she practically invented darkness and you’re telling me she doesn’t know how it works? Please.

-They also clearly showed us the existence of a true love hand-hold. Or true love touch. If I’m not mistaken that is how David woke Snow. And it was the most romantic thing. Also, note that the true love hand-hold led to a true love’s kiss. In Mary Margaret’s mind David was a stranger to her and so he needed to find another way to wake her. And so he used talk leading to a “do you trust me?” moment and the touch of a hand.

-Also, as I said, I really wonder what evil happened or was about to happen when Emma was 10 that it made a pixie flower grow. My money is on it being something happening to Emma in the real world that her parents could have prevented if they had chosen to. Or things being set in motion more firmly fairy tale-wise toward the final battle. I still can’t believe they walked away from their kid a second time when she was still a kid. I don’t believe for a second that Emma isn’t mad about that. Hell, I’m mad about that.

-Oh, I mentioned before that with the pixie dust true love, among other things, Emma and Hook are paralleling Regina and Robin. Which isn’t a good thing for Emma and Hook’s relationship I don’t think.

You know what Regina and Robin’s relationship led to though? Emma sacrificing herself to safeguard Regina’s happy ending with Robin. One that didn’t last, first and foremost because Regina couldn’t be happy when Emma was a Dark One and wasn’t happy herself. And also, because Robin ended up dying.

If Emma and Hook are truly going to parallel Regina and Robin then it would stand to reason that so would the events affecting these relationships. Regina watched that proposal between Emma and Hook. For all intents and purposes it looks like this is the happy ending Emma wants. Like Regina seemed to want hers with Robin. So that would mean that this time around Regina will sacrifice herself for Emma and Hook’s happy ending. Which Emma will not be okay with. All of which will ultimately end in Hook’s death.

Which everyone and their dog has been speculating I think. Regina’s possible sacrifice, maybe even her death. Hook’s death. And the Regina-Robin/Emma-Hook parallel supports it as well.

EDIT: I also noticed something else. When Regina drinks from the beaker Emma rushes to take it from her once she’s done. Then Henry drinks. Archie and Marco are also grouped together and after Marco Granny drinks. After they wake up Granny and Marco hug. And it makes me wonder if Granny and Marco are together. I remember that when the Curse of Shattered Sight broke Granny had a similar moment with Doc.

My point is that when taking the curse people who mean something to each other are grouped together, families, friends.

Regina, Emma and Henry.

Archie and Marco and possibly Granny. 

But Hook and Emma are actually separated by Regina drinking in between them. Which I find very interesting, especially because Emma chooses to drink after Regina and not because she’s right next to her. 

On top of that, Hook and Emma stand together after they take the curse and as a result they end up asleep together, Emma’s head on Hook’s chest. And it has this very eerie Romeo & Juliet vibe to me. That of doomed/ill-fated love and love/death as a result of family feuds and involving your family’s wishes. The difference being that in Romeo & Juliet those two go against their family’s wishes while here it seems Emma’s family is on board with Emma being with Hook.