#after so long it's probably more like a 4th or fifth haha

[kikker-oma]

Just when I thought I was starting to get burnt out from 3 straight months of continuous drawing I GET A SECOND WIND😈😈😈

muahahahaha this fandom has such a chokehold on me, its unreal

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Yeah... I'm gonna talk about FAMILY GUY... Long post, incoming!

Actually, I'm seeing some talk about FAMILY GUY, specifically early FAMILY GUY, elsewhere. As of late. Because the TED Peacock series, based on a now 12-year-old movie, is out. And apparently it's pretty good? Reminiscent of the early seasons of FAMILY GUY, which people who actually like the show consider to be the series' best seasons? I couldn't tell you.

Coincidentally, I've re-watched most of Seasons 1-3 now that my Disney+ plan includes Hulu. The seasons produced and aired *before* FAMILY GUY was here to stay. FOX had cancelled the show twice in the early 2000s, and when it came back for the second time, it never left. It's now one of those long-running cartoons, ubiquitous with the word "cartoon" you could say, a new season almost every year.

I'm gonna be a total hipster and say that I was onboard the FAMILY GUY train as early as mid-2003 ish.

I was in fifth grade, and was at the time starting to stay up later than usual to watch a little thing called [adult swim]...

FAMILY GUY had just started airing on [adult swim], almost a year after its then-final episode - 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1' - had aired on FOX. A classmate of mine had told me about it, and little by little, I was watching FAMILY GUY regularly. Even on school nights, low volume, haha. I didn't want to get in trouble. Life in the early 2000s was different, to any smartphone-era babies reading.

I didn't know anybody else in school at the time, sans a few classmates, who watched the show. It was like we five or so kids were the only ones who knew of its existence in my town (along w/ the original [as] shows, like AQUA TEEN and SEALAB 2021), which is kind of wild to think. I think by mid-2004, I'd seen every episode of the show to date, including the one that FOX was too cold-footed to air (for understandable reasons, especially in the early 2000s. The episode in question is probably tame compared to what the show would later "get away with"). And it was on almost every night, so I only had to wait 24 hours to see a FAMILY GUY episode I may have never seen... So catch-up was pretty easy!

I think part of the appeal for me - at age 10/11 - was definitely "haha this is a naughty show and I probably shouldn't be watching it" (though weirdly, my mother and stepdad let me watch a SOUTH PARK episode or two, I don't remember that show being off-limits) aspect. Another reason is kind of weirder, and I came to this realization rather recently-ish. Around 4th/5th grade, some things bothered young me. Growing up autistic wasn't always easy, and my way of processing the way world can be and how unfair life can be sometimes kinda... Made me act strange, in ways? I definitely had this "old soul" kinda bullshit going on at certain points in my kid life, when I should've been loose and funny and laughing at fart jokes. And I was at times, don't get me wrong. It's not like I was miserable or anything, or bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but some days I'd feel... Strange. And I was weirdly anti-some things that the typical kid finds funny or amusing. I don't know if I can fully articulate it now on a tumblr post, but the long story-short is... [adult swim] was one of the things that helped loosen me up a bit.

Going into middle school at age 10-going-on-11 (I started school early?) was not easy, and that accelerated a lot of things, a lot of feelings, a lot of complications in my brain... And my embrace of [adult swim] started to converge with that, and by 7th grade, I was really, really loose. I swore more, I wrote edgy stuff, I upped like most of my original stories I was writing to PG-13/R-level, I was a silly little edgelord sometimes. But at the same time, unleashing a lot of *that* after a few years of this weird pseudo-old soul nonsense, bad habits, and general confusion was a very fun and freeing feeling!

This is why, despite a lot of shit that should've made that time in my life a nightmare, late 2004-early 2005 was a really exciting time in my life. I think just letting the proverbial hair down was a big reason why, alongside all of my hyperfixations that I always turned to when things really sucked. Things such as Pixar movies and BIONICLE and Cartoon Network stuff and various video games, etc. etc. etc. And smack-dab in the middle of all this was my nightly [adult swim] viewings before I had to get up at 6:30am to wait for the bus on cold-ass mornings. FUTURAMA, FAMILY GUY, AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE, THE BRAK SHOW, on and on... It was the stuff I could turn to.

For Christmas in 2004, I was given a newly-released FAMILY GUY DVD called "The Freakin' Sweet Collection"... I probably wore that poor disc out. Creator Seth MacFarlane's 5 favorite episodes, ones that I still find to be bangers to this day, plus some bonus features. FAMILY GUY was a prime special interest of mine at the time, and eventually I went to a music store that went out of business many years ago and picked up the DVD sets compiling Seasons 1, 2 & 3... And subsequently wore all of those out throughout 2005. They're but gone, now... Though some stores sell a whole box set with like, what, the first 10 seasons of the show for a fair price? I may or may not buy that if the discs aren't updated from the original 2000s versions. Anyways, FAMILY GUY, yeah... I just really, really liked it back then.

Really, I was the perfect age for it at the time. FAMILY GUY has always been contested, regularly seen as one of the nadirs of animated trash. You can definitely make a case for that. As much as I dig early FAMILY GUY, some of its humor really has not aged well, and is indeed offensive in many ways. For me, I feel those pre-2nd cancellation seasons have a charm to them to shines through the more egregious stuff. A charm that noticeably fades away from Season 4-onwards. You see, being from Connecticut, where MacFarlane was born... FAMILY GUY is *very* New England to me. After all, it is set in a fictional Rhode Island town, the state the neighbors me.

The show started airing in 1999, and while I wasn't watching it back then (let alone had even heard of it), I feel a lot of the character interactions, dialogue, and setting really do capture the feeling of being there. In a New England state, in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Little nuances and such, the way Peter and Lois joke about things in particular. Such as this scene from Season 2's 'E Peterbus Unum':

I don't know how to put it in words, but it's very New England to me. My family and I interacted like this quite frequently. Plus, you have Peter's voice being inspired by a security guard that Seth overheard when attending the Rhode Island School of Design, a very New England accent. Lois, too, to some extent. I hear a middle-aged Connecticut mom or aunt in Alex Borstein's delivery, whom she based on a relative of hers. Maybe that's why I initially connected to this show more so than THE SIMPSONS back in the day (and at that time, THE SIMPSONS was on its not-so-beloved seasons), I was too inept to grasp THE SIMPSONS' wit. It hit just right, I think, back then.

Now, upon learning that the show had been cancelled and that it was actually coming back... Within a few months... You bet I was excited? I remember the Sunday the fourth season premiere aired, my family and I gathered around to watch it, and I just remember all of us laughing like hyenas throughout. The episode had so much wackiness and a bunch of cameos as well. We also watched the AMERICAN DAD! episode that dropped right after, but I mostly remember when I first saw 'North by North Quahog'. What a night that was, lol. And you just, went home... Didn't tweet about it. I didn't have any message board accounts at the time, either, so... A couple of classmates to talk to about it, that was it. A lot of my classmates apparently still hadn't seen the show by this time. I mostly remember being ahead of the game when it came to this show, liking it before it was cool, you could say. Once others in my school started referencing it, it was like "I had you beat by almost 2 years." I also remember getting a T-shirt depicting the Griffins beating each other up, as seen in the episode 'Lethal Weapons'. And I remember some of the other kids thinking that was so cool, and one teacher - who probably couldn't stand me, to begin with - calling me to the front of the class to see exactly *what* was on that shirt. Surprisingly, I did *not* get in trouble...

(Not my photo, this is from an eBay listing... But it was THIS exact shirt. Only thing was missing was the horse's ass portrait!)

Later in the year, a DVD called 'Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story' was released, which I instantly put on my birthday list. It was kinda billed as "The FAMILY GUY Movie" when it was coming out, and of course my 13-year-old arse fell for it... And wore that DVD out, too... And then it aired as three separate episodes - albeit with missing footage because this was a DVD release and not a primetime TV airing - the following spring. Still, I have fond memories of getting that DVD and many others. The early DVD era was just so fun back then, what with interactive menus and much more care put into bonus features. And with less distractions back then, I feel you felt more immersed in the movies and content on the discs... Just sitting in your bedroom, you hadn't owned a laptop yet, smartphones didn't exist... Just, entranced in whatever it was you had on. It gets even more bittersweet nowadays, as stores and companies are trying to phase out physical media. How obtuse... But that's another rant for another day...

I would continue to watch FAMILY GUY regularly, and then slid off by around 2008-09ish. The show was beginning to change for the worst, I felt, and I definitely felt that original spark from the early seasons was kind of gone. The simplicity, the New England vibe, the characters feeling a lot more real and not just springboards for whatever dumb stuff they were coming up with. Seth's involvement was apparently minimal by this point in time, as he already had AMERICAN DAD!, THE CLEVELAND SHOW, the first TED movie, and other stuff in the works or bubbling up at the time. By 2011-12ish, I was getting rather actively pissed off at the show, and only checked back in when that "Brian dies" publicity stunt had happened. Otherwise, I've seen very few episodes of the show afterwards, and most of them didn't impress me... Outside of, surprisingly, a few selections from the Disney batch. Quite something! If you time-traveled to 2004 and told me that Disney was going to own this cartoon that I was watching on [adult swim] late at night without my folks knowing, I would've told you to get out of town!

But I hold a special place for those first three seasons, and watching the DVD sets of them back in early 2005, as an unhinged middle schooler. I won't posit that early FAMILY GUY is some kind of underrated gem in the history of television animation. It really is, in most iterations, perhaps the personification of that old Chuck Jones quote about "illustrated radio". Television animation that you don't watch for the animation or visuals, but solely for the writing. It pretty much is that, even if the designs of the Griffins are instantly recognizable and iconic. And it arguably had a bad influence, not the fault of the show or its creators, but of the way things go.

I came to the conclusion that Season 2 is my favorite of the original three. For me it was the most focused, the characters were at their best, banger jokes a minute and clever use of pop cultural references. I can even sense some of Seth's Cartoon Network roots in a lot of it, which is no surprise given that this show evolved out of a project he developed for CN. Season 1 is only seven episodes long and they were figuring things out, Season 3 has highs that equal that of Season 2's best moments, but I feel that parts of it kinda plant the seeds for what the show would eventually become. It noticeably gets denser, a little meaner, characters are more out-of-character, it tries to be even more offensive than before and sometimes really not sticking the landing. And yet, that's mashed up against a legit emotional episode like 'Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows'.

In fact, those last four or so half-hours... Especially with the redone end credits music that re-imagines the theme song as a big band production, there was a weird sort-of... I dunno, finality to it? And that's not counting the S2 leftover that FOX wasn't keen on airing... I mean the original ending of S3, 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1'... It was if they knew that Season 3 was going to be the end? You had the aforementioned Wallows/Swallows, then 'Stuck Together, Torn Apart', then another "Road To" episode with 'Road To Europe', and then 'Viewer Mail #1'. Like four really well-done character-focused episodes with some heartfelt moments, even... And then as a coda, three fun skits based on wacky ideas... Like, had the show ended there in early 2002 with the recalled Weinstein episode popping up somewhere else in the future... That would've been a fine way to go out, honestly. Even as a preteen back then, I felt just that watching these episodes... So it was a big surprise to me when I found out that Season 4 was a go. And S4 would use that same 2nd rendition of the end credits theme, so that was even more unusual for me.

Yeah, FAMILY GUY... It's a part of my weird-ass life. And there's probably whole holes of other stuff related to this show and other things that I could waffle on about regarding my preteen years, but... I'll just cap it off here, lol.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (240-231)

#240: Joci Pápai - Az én apám (Hungary 2019)

"Hallom őt, az ő szívét a húrokon Látom őt, múló idővel az arcomon Az ő hitét büszkeség vallanom Ezeregy dalból ezt az egyet dúdolom, dúdolom"

"I can hear him, his heart on the strings I can see him, bearing the passing time on my face I’m proud to confess his faith Of a thousand and one songs this is the one that I hum"

If there's anything I love at Eurovision, is when someone sings a song from their soul. And in both of Joci's entries, he does just that.

Az en apam is a bit more sedate than his first entry (which will come soon enough), but it's calming and serene with substance. The lyrics, talking about his relationship with his father, is a touching and poetic tribute, one that people should really speak to their loved ones that care about them.

It's just a shame this song was the one to break Hungary's impressive qualifying streak; I thought they were on a path to win soon (though not with this one...). And they left the contest too; hopefully they will steer the ship back to more open waters and come back.

Personal ranking: 5th/41 Actual ranking: DNQ (did not qualify)--12th in the first semi-final in Tel Aviv

#239: Anna Vissi -- Mono i Agapi (Cyprus 1982)

"Η ζωή μας περνά, κι ότι φεύγει πονά Πίσω δε γυρνά, κι όμως κάτι μας κρατά"

"Our life passes by, and whatever leaves, we’re in pain It doesn’t come back, but something holds us together"

In most cases, the first entry somebody has sent in the contest is their best, with a number of exceptions here and there. Anna is one of them; I never liked her first entry, but her other two are fantastic.

Mono i agapi is quite lyrically simplistic--it talks about how love remains between two people, as the world changes around them. But the melody has a very loungy sound--I've heard it being compared to a James Bond theme. While I don't hear why it would be the case (other than the alluring mystery of this piece), it does give a calming vibe, and stands out in the rather mediocre field in 1982.

Personal ranking: 3rd/18 Actual ranking: 5th/18 in Harrogate

#238: Yardena Arazi -- Ben Adam (Israel 1988)

בן אדם הוא רק בשר ודם,” אבק פורח במדבר, בן אדם, בדרך העולם, כצל עובר, כחרס הנשבר "

“A human being is only flesh and blood, Dust flying in the desert A human being, in the way of the world Like a passing shadow, like broken pottery"

Yardena's time at Eurovision 1988 is best known for the anecdote where she goes to a fortune teller who said that song #9 would win that contest. When the draw occurred, Israel was slotted into that place, but was shafted up to #8 when Cyprus withdrew from having an already-released song. #9 would go to Ne Partez Pas Sans moi, which would end up winning and make history thanks to its singer.

This ends up taking away from the song itself; Ben Adam is reminiscent of older folk songs, but it takes off with its own character and flair. I also love the lyrics, which recognizes humans as flawed, without berating them as such. (We need a little bit more of that in the internet world, haha)

The flurry towards the end of the song was well-executed too, and the instrumentation is just fantastic. It feels like one was in a festival!

Personal ranking: 2nd/21 Actual ranking: 7th/21 in Dublin

#237: Amandine Bourgeois -- L'enfer et moi (France 2013)

“Tu m’as fait pleurer à vif Mon cou porte encore ta griffe J’aimais échanger de peau”

“You made me cry a lot You can still see your mark on my neck I used to like exchanging skin”

I love the dark sensuality of this song—with its blues influences, it tells a story of a relationship gone awry, but does so with sophistication. It starts out with a slick guitar line, which later devolves into a full on outrage against the lover at question.

The harshness of this song probably clashed with its opening spot, which is why it’s so underrated. Or it was because of Amandine’s styling...

Either way, it has grown on me since I watched the 2013 contest, and it gets the right vibes going...except with the lyrical story...

Personal ranking: 5th/39 Actual ranking: 23rd/26 GF in Malmo

#236: Ambasadori -- Ne mogu skriti svoju bol (Yugoslavia 1976)

"Ne molim da se vratiš Al’ molim te da pamtiš Voljela tebe samo sam ja”

“I’m not begging you to come back But please remember I only loved you”

Ambasadori was one of Yugoslavia's biggest groups, and they have a long list of who's who in the Bosnia music scene. I'm not familiar with their other music, but Ne mogu skriti svoju bol definitely highlights their artistry, along with the dark-pop take Yugoslavia had in 1970s Eurovision.

This song was initally my fifth place of 1976, but it has steadily grown until it became my fourth (knocking out Portugal in the process) The instrumentation conveys a dark mood, despite the upbeat strings and the poppy sound. There’s a grooviness in it to contrast the sullen lyrics, mourning for a lost love. It definitely stands out in the crowd; along with Ismeta's lack of makeup.

It got rewarded with a second-to-last place, which is way too low for this. And Yugoslavia withdrew for five years, and came back with a new sound...

Personal ranking: 4th/18 Actual ranking: 17th/18 in Den Haag

#235: Zibbz -- Stones (Switzerland 2018)

"Sins of the father make us fall And I can’t do anything about it"

2018 had a number of staging errors which cost several countries qualification. In Stones' cases, this wasn't the case.

Corrine has incredible stage presence, with a sense of strength and attiude as she struts on the stage. She definitely adds substance to this powerful pop-rock song, fighting against bullying in all corners of society.

To further that, she lights a flare at the bridge, which definitely hits the tone of the song home. Plus, it was an awesome moment to behold.

Basically, Zibbz did everything right--great song, thoughtful message, simple but impactful staging, and it still didn't qualify...While it has outgrown me a bit, it's still a total jam.

Personal ranking: 9th/43 Actual ranking: DNQ -- 13th in the first semi-final in Lisbon

#234: Kalomira -- Secret Combination (Greece 2008)

“An open book An open book, well, I'm sorry, I am not Sometimes I'm acting like a lady Sometimes woman, sometimes baby.”

"You maybe an open book Spongebob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that"

One third of the female-bop grouping in the 2008 contest, Secret Combination takes Greek instrumentation and American production to produce quite the gem. I could imagine Britney Spears singing this, but I also thought of the Cheetah Girls when I was listening to it. With a bit of sweetness and a touch of sexiness, Kalomira plays the different roles well--and has a cute moment when the book actually opens, revealing her in a really nice silvery dress!

Personal ranking: 7th/43 Actual ranking: 3rd/25 GF in Belgrade

#233: Avi Toledano -- Hora (Israel 1982)

"וגם ההורה, ההיא עם הה”א קולה עוד עולה, קולה לא נדם"

"And also the Hora, the one with the Hey Its voice still rises, its voice has not been silenced"

Israel had a particular style with songs from the 1980s--they are usually really energetic, with fun choreography in which everyone joins along. It makes for good results and good energy, especially when it's done well!

Hora seems to embody it in many ways, from the celebratory lyrics to the fun dancing across the really tiny stage in Harrogate. It combines Israeli folk music with a sense of joie-de-vivre, celebrating the nation (which as you will see later, may not work today...)

Avi earns himself a strong second place, but he would write something even better the following year (again, will come later)!

Personal and actual ranking: 2nd/18 at Harrogate

#232: Raphael Gualazzi -- Madness of Love (Italy 2011)

"Ma vedrai un altro me in un sogno fragile Riderai come se non ti avessi amato mai Cercherai un altro me oltre all’ombra di un caffè"

"But you’ll see another me in a fragile dream You’ll laugh as if I had never loved you You’ll look for another me beyond the shadow of a coffee"

Between 1994 and 2010, Italy withdrew from Eurovision, with only one participation in 1997. Nobody knows why, with reasons ranging from the rise of a televote to Italian disinterest in the contest, but they were certainly missed. Thanks to the late Rafaella Carra and a bunch of other circumstances, Italy came back in 2011, and they did so in style.

"Madness of Love" is frequently overlooked amongst Italy's post-comeback entries, as some of us aren't into jazz. I don't listen to the genre often, but I like this song particularly. It's flirty and sweet, under a very sophisticated soundscape which reminds me of a 1920s speakeasy. And while people are put off by Raphael's vocals, the way he lets himself go at the end of the chorus is definitely a highlight.

Basically, it's one of those runners-up that should've won against the winner of its year. But it was nicely made up for ten years later.

Personal ranking: 2nd/43 Actual ranking: 2nd/25 GF in Dusseldorf

#231: Anneli Saaristo -- La dolce vita (Finland 1989)

“Minä sammutin elämän janoa vaan Minä osasin onnea anoa vaan Jälkeen kaiken nyt saatan sen sanoa vaan La dolce vita”

“I was just quenching life’s thirst I knew how to plead for happiness After everything all I can say is: The good life”

La Dolce Vita sounds more stereotypically ”Spanish” than “Finnish”, because of its flamenco influences versus the dark pop or metal we expect from the country. Apparently, a lot of Finns travel south for vacations, which makes a bit more sense here.

Either way, it springs a bit of life and joy into a dark heart. It embraces life in its tropical vibe and Anneli’s deep vocals, and conveys a comfortable mood. Apparently, it was also known for Anneli's slight choreography, but I only noticed her standing during the instrumental.

It would be Finland’s last top ten result for many years, but the 7th place it got in Lausanne was deserved (and they should've done better, actually!). A fitting send-off for their long-time conductor Ossi Runne (RIP).

Personal ranking: 3rd/22 Actual ranking: 7th/22 in Lausanne

[thefuriousstarlightstudent]

So, I got the next chapter of Literally Billy Batson out. Hopefully y’all enjoy it!

Ao3 Link: Chapter Three: The First Impression 

Fawcett City, U.S.A.

October 4th, 2010

Billy is one of many students who pour out of Fawcett City Elementary School and into the chilly autumn air. He likes it, being a nameless person in the crowd. It makes him feel more normal, more like if he sticks with the crowd he may hear his mom calling him or see her looking for him. He won't, but it gives him a moment to imagine she might be there.

The moment is gone as soon as the crowd starts to disperse. Half of the students are picked up by parents and the other half walks home. Billy sticks with the half walking home as long as he can before splitting off and heading towards the east side of Fawcett City (know for its slums and abandoned/condemned buildings). No one else goes that way.

Billy walks with his head down and the hood of his aptly named hoody pulled low over his eyes. He's pretty confident in east side Fawcett City, but always better to be safe than sorry. People can be nasty.

He's so distracted that he doesn't even notice the figure standing in front of him. He accidentally bumps into the older boy, sending them both sprawling to the ground.

"Hey, watch it, Billy," the boy complains.

Billy looks up at the boy and grins, jumping to his feet and holding his hand out. "Sorry, Freddy," Billy says sheepishly. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Freddy shrugs, a smirk playing on his lips. "I figured I'd come to say hi to you before my trip. I mean, how will you survive without me to keep you company for a whole week?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Billy says drily.

"I don't know," Freddy says. "You may die without me."

"Haha," Billy deadpans. "But seriously, have fun camping with your grandpa. Take lots of pictures for me!"

"I will," Freddy promises, shoving Billy with his shoulder a little. Billy shoves right back.

"Wanna come to my place?" Billy asks. "Will your grandpa mind?"

"Nah, I told him I was going to your place. He said that was fine. I think us not going to the same school and seeing each other less makes him more willing to let me hang out with you."

"It's not my fault you're in middle school," Billy says. "You're just too old."

"I'm like a year and a half older than you."

"Your point is…"

"It's not that big a difference. Next year we'll be in the same school anyway," Freddy dismisses. "I'll be in sixth grade and you'll be in fifth. That's pretty awesome."

"Yeah, it is," Billy agrees. "Middle school, dude! I'll be an official middle schooler."

"It's really not as exciting as it seems," Freddy says dubiously.

Billy shrugs Freddy's attitude off. They both know it's only because Freddy doesn't like school. He likes sports and superheroes. Billy know this because they're best friends, have been since Billy first started school again and they were in the same building, albeit not in the same grade even then. Freddy was the only person to not call Billy annoying back when Billy first got back to school after almost a year of missing it. He was also the only person who talked to Billy.

In turn, Billy knows one of the reasons Freddy calls Billy his best friend is because Billy was one - is one - of the only people to not be drawn in by Freddy's popularity and the fact that he's an amazing baseball player. At least that's why Freddy tells him that he chose Billy as his best friend.

"Hey, you need any help with homework?" Freddy asks.

"Nope. I just have to finish a paper due next week. I think I'll be good today. Why? Do you have any homework?" Billy asks innocently, knowing full well Freddy probably does.

"Yeah," Freddy sighs despondently and runs a hand through his brown hair. "I have a ton of science stuff to do. Grandpa says the only way I could hang out with you today was if I did some of it with you. So, wanna help?"

"I guess I can," Billy sighs.

"Don't act like you're sad about that," Freddy snaps good-naturedly. "We both know you live for science stuff."

"And history," Billy agrees. "I love history."

"Especially all those weird myths from Rome, Egypt, Greece, and stuff," Freddy says. "What's up with that, by the way?"

Billy shrugs. "My parents were archeologists," he says. "You know? So they found all sorts of stuff about ancient gods and stuff. I probably know, like, all the stories. It just makes me thinks of them, so I like to read about them."

Freddy makes a sympathetic noise. "I know what you mean. My dad used to play ball with me all the time before he and mom went to jail, and I know he's not a good guy, but I like baseball because it reminds me of when things were okay."

Freddy always knows just what to say to make Billy feel better, or at least take his mind off of things. Freddy is the only person who knows Billy is homeless. He's the only person Billy trusts not to tell. Freddy was going to when Billy first told him, but Bill had explained… not everything, but enough to convince his friend he'd be fine alone.

Freddy still worries though, which is why he comes over so often. Billy thinks it's nice, having someone care about him so much. It's also kind of funny to him, that Freddy thinks he needs taking care of. Billy is Captain Marvel, for goodness' sake! Not that Freddy knows that, of course.

"Hey, we're here!" Freddy exclaims. "Come on!"

"Wait up," Billy squawks as Freddy run into the run-down dirty yellow apartment building ahead of him. "It's my apartment!"

"I'm not waiting for you!" Freddy yells without turning. "You're so slow!"

"Am not!" Billy shouts back, running to catch up to Freddy, who is already heading up the rickety stairs.

"Are too!"

Billy slows down after a moment. He knows he won't catch up to Freddy. He also knows Freddy has an extra key, so he won't need to wait to go into Billy's apartment.

Freddy has only asked how Billy manages to stay hidden from building inspectors and keep the heat, electricity, and water running. Billy explains it by saying he hides and he must just be lucky, respectively. It's a good answer, but it's not true. It's all magic. Magic keeps it warm and keeps the building inspectors from even going to his floor. They just skip it like it's not even there.

Billy sometimes wonders if part of why the Wizard chose him is because he already has a natural affinity for magic, just needed training. Billy knows all his magic (in his mortal form) is enhanced by Captain Marvel, but it's still his, not Captain Marvel's magic. He just has the proper tools and books to use it now.

"You coming?" Freddy shouts from a few flights of stairs up.

"Coming!" Billy shouts back, starting to walk again. He'd stopped without even noticing, too caught up in his own head to notice. "I'm coming, Freddy!"

Fawcett City, U.S.A.

October 5th, 2010

It's cold, even colder than it had been yesterday. It's the type of cold that settles in your bones and makes you wish for summer. Normally Billy loves autumn. The color of the leaves. The cheeriness that seems almost contagious. But today he just wishes that it could be warm. He doesn't like it to be this cold. It almost feels like the weather is warning him. About what, he doesn't know.

He doesn't dwell on vaguely unsettled the feeling that's been hitting him since he woke up. It's probably nothing but paranoia. Or maybe there's a storm coming. Billy always gets kinda uneasy before a storm hits Fawcett City, even when he doesn't know a storm is going to hit.

He leaves the schoolyard and heads west, towards the middle school nearby. With luck, Freddy won't mind if Billy comes over to his house.

"Hey, do you know where Freddy is?" Billy asks a grimy teenager smoking something that's definitely not a cigarette. The teenager definitely goes to the high school nearby, but almost everyone in this area of the city knows who Freddy is. Freddy is just that type of charismatic person.

The teen leers at Billy like he's trying to scare him. Billy doesn't react, despite the teen gross yellow teeth being bared at him in a feral grin.

The teen moves back and nods to himself as if Billy's passed a test.

"Tall kid? Baseball cap?"

Billy nods eagerly.

"He got in this old guys car after school got out."

"Duh," Billy says to himself slapping his forehead. Freddy started his camping trip today after school. Billy should have remembered that. Man, this cold must really be messing with him. "Thanks, dude."

"No problem, kid," the teen says. "Have a good one."

He goes back to smoking. Billy turns around. Now what will he do all day? Yeah, his apartment is warm, but that doesn't mean he wants to spend the whole day alone in it. Maybe he should go shopping. But he doesn't really have anything other than a few dollars left from his last shopping trip. He'll need to find a way to earn some more cash. Mowing lawns won't exactly work this time of year.

Maybe he can rake leaves?

Ugh. That means he has to do that today, make enough to last for a least a month's worth of groceries, and extra for new winter gear. Then again, if he works quickly enough, he may even get some extra spending money to afford food other than ramen noodles, cereal, mac n cheese, and a few fruits and veggies. Eating healthier food is always nice. Maybe he can even get some frozen pizza.

Plans made, Billy takes off for the nearest residential neighborhood he knows is full of adults who find it cute when kids come and ask to do jobs like rake leaves, mow lawns, weed gardens, and shovel snow.

Billy's pretty sure he has half of that neighborhood he's a kid that lives there. It's one of his favorite places to live. Some of the people even give him snacks and lemonade when he works.

Afterword, he can patrol as Captain Marvel, then he'll go shopping. Or he'll go shopping tomorrow if anything big happens while he's Captain Marvel. He doesn't think there'll be anything more than a few shoplifters today though. Even the criminal element in Fawcett City know when it's too cold to commit a crime. Cold as it is, autumn and winter are the slowest seasons to fight crime.

Billy is so glad he lives in Fawcett City where the criminals are reasonable and know when it's too cold to be committing a crime. He can't imagine how annoying it must be for Batman to fight crime in Gotham City in the middle of winter since crime never slows down in Gotham.

"Hey," a voice says, and Billy feels a hand land on his shoulder. Billy jumps about a hundred feet in the air and lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp. "Sorry, sorry!" the voice says quickly.

"It's fine," Billy says, catching his breath and looking over the owner of the voice. A kid with messy black hair - possibly a young teen - wearing sunglasses and relaxed clothing (Billy's leaning towards him being a kid. Probably twelve. Too short to be a teenager). "You just surprised me."

"Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people," the boys says ruefully, running one of his hands through his hair in a gesture that reminds Billy of Freddy. "Sorry again. I was just wondering if you could help me."

"Main Street is that way," Billy says immediately, pointing north. "Go there and you can pretty much find wherever you're looking for without too much trouble."

"No, I just needed help finding someone who goes to the elementary school," the boy says. "William Thomas Batson? Maybe you know him?"

Bily looks over the boy more closely. It doesn't seem like he's looking for trouble. You can never be too careful though.

"Why do you need him?" Billy asks. "Do you know him?"

"Nah," the kid dismisses. "My guardian had an old letter from the kid's mom, Marilyn Batson. He figured William may want to see it."

And Billy's tempted to ask how they even know where he is; it's not like he's an official student - not that any of his teachers or the other students know that. But at the mention of his mom, that thought is erased from his mind.

"I'm William. I prefer Billy though." Billy holds out his hand.

"Well, that was serendipitous," the boys says, grabbing Billy's hand firmly. "I'm Dick."

Billy doesn't manage to stop himself from snorting.

"I'm sorry," he says right away. Not for thinking it's funny, necessarily, but for being rude and laughing about it.

"It's fine," the boy says. "I've heard pretty much everything, believe me. Anywho, Dick Grayson, as I said."

Billy does a double-take. "Wha- Dick Grayson!" he whispers furiously, looking around. "Like, Dick Grayson?!"

The boy- Dick Grayson, looks amused. Something about the expression combined with the sunglasses is familiar, but for the life of him, Billy can't quite put his finger on why. It bugs him, and he's sure he'll think about it later, but for now, he's too focused on the immediate issues. Like that fact that Dick-freaking-Grayson is looking for him.

"Yes," Dick says, amused. He even takes his sunglasses off briefly, and sure enough, it's the teenager. Billy may not have a TV or watch the news, but he knows what Dick Grayson looks like. Mainly because Bruce Wayne funds the Justice League publicly and that means he's pretty familiar with both of their images.

"My mom sent a letter to Bruce Wayne?" is his next question.

"They met abroad before your parents were married," Dick explains. Anyway, I'm gonna call Bruce and have him meet me here." At Billy's confused look, Dick looks away from the phone he pulled out a moment ago. "He was looking for you closer to the elementary school."

"Ah," Billy says.

Dick speaks briefly into the cell phone before pulling it away from his ear and hanging up.

"He'll be here in a minute," Dick informs Billy. "You don't mind waiting here?"

"No," Billy says.

"Good."

A few moments later a tall, broad man in a suit appears. He's wearing sunglasses like Dick. Unlike Dick, he seems uncomfortable. It isn't hard for Billy to tell this is really Bruce Wayne, which automatically makes him more relaxed. Bruce Wayne funds the League, Batman even approves of him doing so, so that means Bruce Wayne isn't a bad person. Batman would never associate with someone if they had something even vaguely shady in their past.

"Hello," Bruce Wayne says. "You must be William?"

His voice is surprisingly gentle, considering his size. Billy still can't get over the fact that Bruce Wayne came to Fawcett City just to find Billy and let him look at an old letter from his mom, even though the letter certainly isn't anything Billy needs to see.

"Yes," Billy says. "I prefer Billy though, if that's okay, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce Wayne seems surprised by how eager Billy is. Or Maybe he's just surprised Billy's so trusting. Anyone who has ever seen Billy as a street kid is surprised by that. It's not that Billy's that trusting; he's not. Billy's just good at reading people. Also, he's not nervous around Bruce Wayne because Justice League funding. Not that Bruce Wayne knows that. Even though it's public, it's not exactly common knowledge outside of League members who their main funder is.

"I have the letter your mother sent me, Billy, if you want to see it?"

"Yes, I'd really love that, Mr. Wayne," Billy says.

"She sent it to me right after you were born," Mr. Wayne says. "It ended up getting lost in my desk, which is why I didn't find it until recently."

"Were you and her friends?" Billy asks. "How did you meet?"

"I'd like to think so," Mr. Wayne says, a surprisingly fond look on his face. "We met in Peru before she or your father were going to be married."

"That's interesting," Billy says honestly. "What was the letter she sent you about?"

Mr. Wayne sighs deeply. Something in Billy's gut twists uncomfortably.

"It was about you. I mentioned she sent it right after you were born. I have it here if you'd like to see it now?"

"Yes, please, Mr. Wayne," Billy says.

Mr. Wayne pulls a piece of paper out of his suit pocket and holds it out to Billy. Billy grabs it gently with shaking hands.

It still smells like her perfume. It's a reminder that she had been real, once. It's nice because even though Billy logically knows she'd been real before she died, having a reminder is nice. He misses her so much. Her and his dad.

He unfolds the paper with a gentleness that surprises even him. Her handwriting is just like he remembers it being from the notes she'd leave for him on his lunch box and hidden inside his books or even just shopping lists on the fridge. He spends what's probably more time than necessary just looking at it without reading.

When he finally does begin to read the letter, he almost drops it a moment later. He fumbles for a moment before regaining his grip and reading even faster.

No. No no no no no no no no. This can't… this can't be true. (But it has to be, a voice whispers in his mind. This is her handwriting. She wouldn't lie about it.)

Oh, god. His mom had written to Bruce Wayne. His mom had told Bruce Wayne Billy was his son. But it just can't be - Billy refuses to believe it's true. His parents would have told him if it was true. They wouldn't have kept it a secret. Why would his dad even love him and let Billy call him that if he wasn't Billy's real dad?

This has to be a lie, a trick. It can't be true. It just can't.

Billy's dad is C.C. Batson, not some rich guy his mom probably only knew for a few months in another country.

"This isn't true," Billy says, ashamed by how much his voice is shaking. "You can't be my dad. My dad is C.C. Batson. You're lying. I know it."

His voice breaks on the last word. Billy hopes neither of them notices it. He ignores how hurt Mr. Wayne looks and how shocked Dick Grayson looks.

(Billy knows this isn't a lie. Somehow, someway, he knows this isn't a lie. He just doesn't want to believe it.)

"I'm sorry," Mr. Wayne says honestly. "I really am. But your mother was one of the most honest people I ever knew. I don't think she's lying."

Billy refuses to even think about this. (He ignores how similar he looks to Bruce Wayne. How he's even more similar to Bruce Wayne that C.C. Batson. Really, if he was with both of them, people would assume he's Bruce Wayne's son, not his dads.)

Billy shakes his head desperately. "No. No! You have to be lying. I don't believe you."

"Listen, Billy," Dick begins. "How about this. You know what a paternity test is, right?"

"Yes," Billy says shortly. "I'm not dumb."

"Then take one," Dick says. "If it matches then that means you're Bruce's son, biologically. Your dad is still your dad. Biology doesn't change that."

Mr. Wayne adjusts his jacket, seeming spectacularly uncomfortable. "I'd been planning one of those already. I don't think she's lying, but maybe she was wrong. I figured you'd like to know the truth."

And Billy does want to know the truth, even if it's a truth he doesn't like.

"I'll take the test," Billy says, the anger from earlier evaporating as suddenly as it had appeared. Now he just feels kind of tired. He's glad this street is empty. That no one can have possibly seen this.

"I brought my friend, Dr. Leslie Thompkins with me. She has all the equipment to do the test in my hotel room. We can go back there if that's okay with you," Mr. Wayne says. It doesn't really sound like a question, but Billy can tell it is a question.

"Okay. Okay. Are we walking?"

"I have a car?" Mr. Wayne suggests.

And the first rule of being a street kid is you don't get in a strangers car. Billy knows this. It's one of the first lessons you learn, either from getting in a strangers car or hearing the horror stories of what happens when you get in a strangers car. Billy may not like Bruce Wayne right now, but he knows he won't try anything. He knows Bruce Wayne is a good person. And even if he wasn't a good person and Billy was dumb enough to get in the car, Billy can protect himself, both with Captain Marvel and the magic he always has at his disposal.

"We can take that," Billy says. "I mean if that's what you want to do?"

Mr. Wayne smiles slightly and Dick Grayson beams at him.

[dltbzrkcr]

Dude try morbucks n butch for the ship meme they’re the Ultimate Crackship Fucks

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Considering Butch, probably a fling. Maybe the occasionally hook up but nothing long lasting 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fall in love? These two are more likely to use each other to make their actual love interests jealous

How was their first kiss? - Princess was definitely the one to kiss him first, probably over him aggravating her and Princess getting so fed up but kind of that “he’s really hot and I just am sick and tired of hearing his mouth open because everything he says is god damned garbage” kind of kiss, but then they get really into it and it would probably take a good while to pry them off of each other. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - It was more like Princess probably dragged Butch into a sham marriage just to piss of daddy, like “look daddy because you didn’t pay attention to me I married such a garbage trashbin!!!” 

Who is the best man/men? - Burger the snail (because it would be them eloping tbh)

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Who needs a bride’s maid when Princess is all the glam the world needs. 

Who did the most planning? - Probably princess and her maniacal plans. 

Who stressed the most? - Princess for sure

How fancy was the ceremony? - Weirdly enough, even if it was eloping, I imagine Princess made sure it was as fancy as she could fucking make it. Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - the PPG’s. except blossom. I feel like Princess would be a bitch and invite blossom just to be like “haha bitch I have your boyfriend now” 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Princess.......... for sure.....

Who is the one to instigate things? - Butch

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I mean. Its in her name. she’s a god damned pillow princess probably and he would go on for however long he could to please her until butch is just like plS 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - no princess hogs the orgasm count

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - I’m afraid to say a number. lets just go with how ever many it takes for princess to threaten to castrate him. so probably 1 actually. 

How many children will they adopt? - he has snails and a dog already do they need anything else

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Butch... or the maids. 

Who is the stricter parent? - neither. that kid would be a spoiled brat. 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - neither they love the chaos and encourage it

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Butch

Who is the more loved parent? - Princess because she spoils their kid way more than he does. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? They both go, but Princess sits there filing her nails while she makes Butch fight against everything she dislikes for her. He would literally beat people up sometimes. Like just. toss people through walls and shit. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - Butch because wow THAT LITTLE SHIT MADE IT THROUGH SCHOOL??? IT’S ALREADY SMARTER THAN HIM

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Princess cause she has all the $$$, Butch would just break them out of jail

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Maids. Butch can make a mean burrito. that’s it. that’s his level of cooking. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Princess definitely, and they definitely have to have separate meals made since their tastes are so different. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Butch probs gets sent with a list, that he made brick re-write for him, so that he could actually read it with his dyslexia

How often do they bake desserts? - Princess definitely orders the most obnoxiously rich treats from the most expensive bakeries and makes Butch pick them up

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Butch won’t touch god damn veggies unless you tell him that shit is radioactive. So, meat all the way binch. Princess can eat whatever though. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Princess, having made the help cook it for her. 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Butch thrives off doing shit so him, always, yep. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - ..I feel like Princess has 0 cooking skills, so princess. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Butch

Who is really against chores? - Both, but because he’s whipped he would clean. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Butch

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Princess lmao, and then tell butch to clean it for her

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Princess, Butch doesn’t ever really care about people. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Butch, except it was 100$ and he kept it for himself. 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Princess. To the point that Butch just learned that he has to walk all the way across the house to use the other bathroom just because of how long she fucking takes. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both, because he would drag her out with him. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Butch isn’t big on holidays, except like july 4th because he just loves blasting off rockets lmao. So, unless Princess liked making her house glam, he wouldn’t do shit. 

What are their goals for the relationship? - Get laid? 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Butch. Always. 

Who plays the most pranks? - ...Both?