#after i told him everyday for 2 weeks that my birthday was coming up

[justghostthings]

My partner 💞💞💞💞💞💞🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

hiii omg istg your modern jace works have been living in my mind RENT FREE THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD but like a modern college jace bringing reader to meet rhaenyra and his brothers for the first time would be soooo cute, like i feel like joffery would LOVE that his big bro had a gf and would like pull her to colour with him and do stuff like that and rhaenyra would love her like a daughter, luke would LOVE embarrassing himm <3

Season 2 is premiering right now, but I have to wait until 10pm to watch since I don't have access to HBO Max... Please come to my ask and send me requests/let's talk about the new episode!! I will be opening them after I watch and giving my thoughts on the episode every weeks 🐉⚔️🖤

Thank you  so much for the love for modern!Jace. I really enjoy writing about him. This one was challenging to write as there was a lot of people to write about. I hope you like it!!

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

When Jacaerys came home for Thanksgiving, he didn’t tell his family about you. You had only been dating for a couple of weeks and were still getting to know each other. It was too soon to announce that he had someone in his life. But a mother's instinct never fails to recognize the smile on her son’s face whenever he looks at his phone or the hushed phone call she had heard when she walked by Jace’s bedroom. 

Although she wanted to know everything about Jace’s new girlfriend, Rhaenyra respected her son’s privacy and let him tell her in his own time. That was until Luke spilled the beans after coming across a picture on social media where Jace was holding and kissing a girl’s cheek.  

In typical brothers behavior, Jace sent a lot of middle finger emojis to Luke for spilling to their mother. 

After a long phone call with her, a date was set. Joffrey’s birthday was coming up, so Rhaenyra saw it as a good opportunity to meet you. And Joffrey would love for his big brother to be there on his seventh birthday since he missed it last year. 

‘’Mom, we’re home!’’ Jace called as he opened the door of his childhood house, carrying small bags for your weekend stay. 

The sound of footsteps on the second floor filled the small entryway as Jace dropped the bags with a thud, making you jump. You took a deep breath, your nerves getting the best of you.

‘’It’s going to be fine. They’re gonna love you,’’ Jace reassured you, kissing your temple sweetly before an overexcited Joffrey came down the stairs. ‘’Here’s the birthday boy!’’ 

Joffrey hugged Jace, happy that he was home. It must not be easy for him to not see Jace everyday anymore. 

More footsteps came from the back of the house as Rhaenyra, with a blond toddler in her arms, came to greet you. Her warm smile was welcoming. You couldn't help but notice how Jace's features mirrored hers. Except for the hair and eyes. He must have gotten them from his father. 

‘’Hi. It’s lovely to meet you,’’ she said, her voice kind and genuine. ‘’I would give you a hug, but I’m worried Viserys is going to try to pull on your hair… He picked up this bad habit last week and we’re working on it.’’ 

You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. ‘’No worries, it’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Targaryen,’’ you replied, glancing at the curious toddler who was eyeing you with fascination. 

‘’Please, call me Rhaenyra.’’

Joffrey tugged at your and Jace’s sleeves, his eyes wide with excitement. ‘’Come, I want to show you my birthday cake. There’s a big dragon on it.’’ 

Rhaenyra was quick to correct the young boy, laughing dryly. ‘’There is no birthday cake in this house.’’ 

You chuckled politely, figuring out that Joffrey must have seen the cake by accident and Rhaenyra was trying to keep it a surprise. 

‘’Jace told me you have a massive dragon collection,’’ you said, driving the young boy’s attention to something else than the birthday cake. ‘’Is that true?’’ 

Joffrey grinned and began to tell you all about his dragons. He fetched some from the playing room and brought them over to show you on the couch, giving you all sorts of information about dragons. There was one of every color and size. Some had horns and a threatening stare, while others looked simply beautiful. 

While you were occupied with Joffrey, Jace went upstairs to drop your bags in his bedroom. When it came back, he watched the two of you from the corner, finding it sweet how quick Joffrey took a liking to you. He was usually shy around new people. 

‘’Where’s Luke and Aegon?’’ 

Rhaenyra set Viserys down on the floor so he could play with his blocks, and shook her head. ‘’I don’t know. Probably upstairs. Aegon is with Daemon in the backyard. Since we cleaned the old playset, he always wants to go outside.’’ 

Leaning over the banister, Jace called out to Luke.  ‘’Luke! Come here, you little shi—’’ 

‘’Language,’’ Rhaenyra scolded, her eyes pointing at Joffrey and Viserys. 

He apologized and you bit back a smile. He truly was a mama’s boy.

You didn’t meet Aegon and Daemon — Jace’s step father — until dinner. The latter looked intimidating, but he kindly smiled at you as you shook his hand. As he was helping his wife getting the food on the table, she gave him a subtle nod of approval, silently telling him that she liked you.

‘’I told you my mom would like you,’’ Jace said, pulling you with him in the hallway while the younger ones were being bathed and put to bed. His arms were around you, chasing your worries away.

You took a deep breath, feeling the tension leave your body as you smiled up at him. ‘’Now I know where you got your kindness and charm from.’’ 

‘’You think I’m charming?’’ 

Rolling your eyes, you tried to get away, but Jace didn’t let you. 

‘’Joffrey is very fond of you too,’’ he continued, his eyes sparkling with amazement. ‘’I’ve never seen him so at ease with someone he doesn’t know.’’ 

‘’He gave me a full lesson about dragons. He is so sweet.’’ 

Hearing this made Jace happy. For him, family was very important, so it meant a lot to him that you were getting along with his family. 

His gaze softened, his eyes locking onto yours before leaning down to kiss you. Your fingers gripped the fabric of his zip-up hoodie, kissing him back until  a loud, exaggerated gagging sound broke through the moment. 

You both turned to see Luke standing at the end of the hallway, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. 

‘’Do you want to see Jace as a baby?’’ Luke asked with gleeful enthusiasm. ‘’He had chubby cheeks…like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks.’’

Jace groaned in embarrassment and you chuckled, imagining baby Jace with chubby cheeks. ‘’I’d love to see those photos,’’ you teased, nudging Jace playfully.

But Luke wasn't done. ‘’Do you know why there is no school picture of him in fifth grade?’’ he continued, leaning against the wall, clearly relishing the moment. ‘’There was this guy at school who was bullying me and Jace decided to put his big brother pants on and take him on a fight. This guy was two inches taller than him and much bigger, so Jace lost and fell, which knocked his front tooth out the night before picture day at school.’’

You laughed, picturing a brave little Jace standing up for his brother. ‘’You’ve always been protective, I see,’’ you said, turning to Jace.  A small smile tugged at his lips. ‘’Okay. Luke, that’s enough,’’ Jace decided, taking you away from him before more embarrassing stories could come out of his brother’s mouth.

—

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[r1poutmygvtz]

longgg ramble/vent/whatever's on my mind, idk man i'm tired and should probably schedule another therapy appointment soon

also this is kinda just all over the place, idk my thoughts are kinda scattered rn for some reason

(tws: mental health talk, sh, suicide attempts, od mention, ed, body issues, weed + alcohol talk, medicine misuse, childhood abuse, pet + family death mentions, possibly more idk if i missed one lmk and i'll tag it and put it up here)

my mental health right now is so fragile i don't understand, like obviously i know i'm depressed, i've been diagnosed for nearly two years now but i should've been much earlier, maybe that's why it got so bad, i don't even remember why i was diagnosed tbh, i think it was my first time back after like a year and a half maybe two years of not being in therapy and obviously a lot of shit happened, in that time that i went without therapy i tried to kms three times, had an alcoholic phase, and got addicted to weed

it was also sometime around my birthday i believe, which would make sense on why i got diagnosed, im always super depressed around my birthday, i mean i was expelled on my 13th, my great grandma died the day after my 14th and the day after that i tried to kms and that was the most traumatizing one and it took me over 2 years to be able to take the meds that i od'd on again without freaking out, i was literally so high i can't even remember my 15th, 4 days before my 16th i graduated (horrible for me, i had a panic attack everyday leading up to it for like 2 weeks straight) and 2 days after that my cat that i had since my 12th birthday died, so there's literally nothing enjoyable about my birthday and it feels more like a curse than anything

anyways, i've been the same since i was like 8 or 9, i was depressed and dreamt/wished i would die or get seriously hurt, maybe i just wanted my dad to care about me for once or maybe i did really just want to die, im not sure, i can't really remember my childhood, my therapist says i most likely have ptsd from the abuse which would explain the memory gaps and dpdr (depersonalization & derealization for those that don't know, the derealization is confirmed by my therapist btw just not the depersonalization but that's probably only because i didn't bring that up)

i think the most fucked up part is the fact it took me 16 years to find out the abuse was also physical, i spent the entire time before that thinking it was only verbal towards me and my siblings but i guess not, also apparently all the times me and my sister went to my neighbors/aunts house was because we were hiding from my dad, i thought we just went over to watch cartoons because we didn't have them at home, idk it was just weird for me to find out 7 years after it stopped, it doesn't really bother me all that much tbh my dad was already dead to me and i've been mostly no contact with him for almost 3 years now

also speaking of me as a kid, that's when a lot of my problems started, i was 9 almost 10 for the dpdr and 8 or 9 when i started hating my body, sh came in later tho i was like 10 or 11 when that started, i actually remember being like 9 and writing down everything i ate on a piece of paper, and when i was 10 i kept a notebook full of what i weighed in the morning and night and would see the difference in it, i also vividly remember asking my mom how many calories were in something from mcdonald's and she told me i was too young to be asking that so i just kinda stopped after that which obviously ended up coming back, i mean just look at my account

anyways yea i just hate how back and forth my mental health is, one day i could be doing great and think i'm amazing and unbelievably pretty and smart and ill try to better myself by getting sober and staying clean, then the next day i'll hate myself and consider going back to taking my meds throughout the day just so i was loopy and hardly able to process anything

tbh i do miss it a lot, i started back when i was heavily addicted to weed and would take my meds when i couldn't smoke, actually i used to take melatonin a bunch throughout the day so i could just pass out if anything happened that i didn't want to deal with (literally anything at all tbf) but that started to not work as well as i wanted so i turned to my meds, i'd take my nightly dose (50mg instead of the 20mg i was supposed to take) at like noon and would be loopy until it was time to actually take it, i didn't do it much tbh, my sisters bf caught on after the third or fourth time because i had just met his family for the first time that day and their dog tried to bite my face apparently and i didn't even react (didn't even realize it happened tbh) and he asked what was up with me and i told him bc i've known him forever, anyways yea he yelled at me to knock it off and went on about how it's gonna kill me if i kept doing it, so i did it like once after that and it's been months since i've done it again

it's kinda funny tho, those meds actually could've killed me regardless, i was supposed to take them three times a day but only really did once at school and i still got a bunch of the more serious side effects because i wasn't supposed to smoke while taking them but obv i did bc i was addicted, like breathing was hard, i nearly fainted all the time, my appetite was nonexistent, my heart was starting to mess up, like i literally thought i had a heart attack one day because the side effects were that bad and my mom and sister started looking up symptoms of POTS because that's what the side effects looked like, anyways i got taken off those months ago but i still have them somewhere and i'm fighting the urge to find and take them just so i have no appetite and so i'll sleep through the day

i think that's really all idk, there's more i was gonna say but i can't really remember plus this is already super long jfc, i don't expect anyone to actually read this, i just wanted it off my chest and i don't really trust talking to many people about this kinda stuff

[snowdrop-ivy]

Favor. | Part 1

Summary: Ari Levinson was an ego embodied in a man. Yep, he's an asshole. Y/N knows it yet she still married him. How? She doesn't know. And now, she doesn't know how to get him to sign the divorce papers.

A/N: I got this idea from watching TRSDR haha so I decided to put my imagination and give it a go. LMK if u see any errors or if you liked it. This will be a mini series. Part 2 will be posted soon.

Word count: 4193

TW: Mentions of guns and violence.

A busy night in Wolfson Medical Center made Y/N's head ache more. Hundreds of people in line waiting to get checked while she hasn't had any time to eat or even drink water. Maybe that was better so she wouldn't think about that scumbag she used to call husband.

Y/N looked at the line to see the chairs full of people.

"I'll get some coffee. Send in the next patient will I do," Y/N told her secretary, Anna. Anna nodded.

Y/N went to the pantry when Dr. Jensen saw her. Dr. Jensen works in the surgery ward while Y/N decided to not to because he thought it'd be better if she does the in-patient and clinics. It's much busier there and when it's busy, Y/N's there.

"Long line, huh?" Dr. Jensen mentioned as she's getting coffee.

"Yep, lots of people," Y/N stretched but the pain on her shoulder became worse. This has been bothering her for weeks but some Ibuprofen masks it, so that's okay.

"You should get that shoulder checked out," He said when he noticed her visible pain.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll get in line." Dr. Jensen shook his head and laughed at her joke. Y/N passed by her charts at the front desk to sign some of it. The nurses were talking to her all at once to inform about status, requests, and updates. Mind-bending. She told all of them what to do so she could return to her desk and get the line shorter. If it gets shorter, people get checked in everyday here. Hospitals are always full due to refugees coming in. She doesn't mind though, She always doesn't. That's her sickness.

"How can I help you?" She entered the room while looking at her charts. Once she brought it down...

"You have got to be kidding me!" She huffed. Lo and behold, the reason of her insanity is sitting in front of her with a test swab on his plump, pink, kissable fucking lips.

"Calm down," He stood then stepped forward to get closer to her but Y/N stopped him.

"I am calm, Levinson, stop right there." Y/N was firm on not getting him near her. Inside this small clinic that she has.

Y/N looked at him. He's wearing a gray shirt covered up by a flannel; her flannel. And he still has that disgusting, yucky, a little attractive-- just a little, mustache. His hair never changed from when they last saw each other, which was what? A year ago; when she threw her rings and slammed the divorce paper on him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She asked with her hands on her waist, glaring at him. She hates him, emphasis on the hate because she really does. Y/N looked over at Anna who was hiding behind the sphygmomanometer machine. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

Anna's lip trembled, her eyes exchanging from the chart to her, and shrugged. "Front desk said he's next."

Y/N looked between the two of them and dismissed her. "What do you want?" Y/N asked after she closed the door then leaned on it, crossing her arms and legs.

"I want you to calm down," Ari said, copying her stance.

"I told you, Ari, I am fucking calm," She gritted through her teeth.

"I need to talk to you. Five minutes."

Y/N looked at her watch that was ironically gifted to her by Ari on her birthday. 7:50. "No, three minutes. Start talking."

Ari grabbed his bag and explained his plan to extract another batch of Ethiopian Jews in Sudan. That's what they do. Y/N was an Israeli Mossad agent as well but she decided to stop after their last extraction since Ari was arrested and well, they got divorced. Not legally but they separated. Well, She separated. Ari's plan was to lease a diving resort in a lawless land in Sudan while Bimro would take groups to walk a thousand km to the port and will be met by boats to load them into a cargo. Y/N was impressed. Ari was smart, intelligent.

"I need you, Y/N, for this to work."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, you need me, Ari. You always do, right?"

Ari stayed silent. He knows how to handle Y/N when she's on a frenzy like this. He just stays silent. He sat down and listened. Her words stung but he couldn't blame her. Ari knows he's not the best-- even an okay husband. And him standing in front of her for help is a dumb fucking thing.

Both of them stayed silent. She's calming herself and Ari was giving her the time she needs. She sat down and gathered his files to look at and assess. She asked questions and he answered. Together, unknowingly, they brainstormed. That's how they two worked. Ari was the mastermind, Y/N was the details. That's why Ari needs her, so she can plan it out carefully to the tiniest details.

"So, what do you say?"

She sized him up, squinting at his blue orbs. She's trying to find out why Ari needs her on this when he has people who can join him on this. She won't admit it but she misses the action; the thrill of it all. Their job was risky but that's the risk she's always willing to take. No doubt.

She scoffed. "It's funny how you ask for my help yet you haven't signed the divorce papers."

His jaw clenched at that word-- divorce. He hated it. In fact, he hated it so much he tore it apart. He gets that he was a jerk but he couldn't figure out why it led to divorce. What did he do that she despised him so much? Was it the job? No, Y/N loves the job. Was it him? Maybe.

"And now you won't answer me?" She breathed, massaging her temples. "Ari, look at me."

Ari looked at her and all he saw was... sadness. She looked so done. And she is. Y/N waited years for Ari to change and put her on his list but didn't. That last extraction was the last straw for her.

"Okay," He huffed, stood up and went to her until they were face to face with him. He leaned down to her height until an inch of space was left between the two. Until he can hear the loud beat of her heart. Until he can smell her scent, her familiar scent he can't get enough of: Vanilla. Her staple scent. "I'll sign it if you come with me."

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!" She yelled, pushing him to create enough space between them two "Quit playing me, Ari!"

Mad is an understatement for what she is feeling. She knows she isn't so calm right now and people are waiting outside. Also, it's also unprofessional but she swears right now that what she wants is to choke the life out of him.

"Hey," Ari tried to soothe her but she pushed him away, again. "Woah! Stop pushing me!"

"Stop playing with me!"

"I am not playing with you!"

"Then what the fuck are you doing?!"

"I need you!" Ari shouted. His hands went through his hair. "I fucking need you, Y/N!"

Y/N wasn't shocked when she heard that. She's used to Ari needing her everytime and forgetting her when it's over. "Really?"

She looked at him. His gaze was so intense, eyes burning with honesty. He didn't say anything, he just slowly nodded.

"But when were you when I needed you?"

Ari looked at her, and he saw what he broke. The seven years of pain from their marriage was evident in her eyes. He couldn't answer her, not because he knew how to handle her but because he didn't know what to say. He was an asshole, he knows it and he doesn't deny it.

She opened the door. Wide. "Just leave, A. Just text me the details and sign my divorce papers."

Y/N spent the night finishing up the patients and packing. She doesn't have much to do so she decided to soak herself in a bath. A privilege she gets when he can. She placed herself in a nice, hot, and soothing lavender bath to help her ease her tension and mind. Y/N poured herself red wine while bathing. The wine was a bit of a bad decision because it did not ease her mind; it made her think of him and the memories they had.

Days have passed. She continued with the same routine until he received the details of the operation; they're leaving in two days to go to Germany meaning she has two days to pack which means that she has to go back to their shared home to do so. She doesn't have any clothes in her apartment other than coats and scrubs. Y/N looked for her key and drove down there. She wondered if Ari was staying there or somewhere. Y/N headed out the car and stared at their home, what used to be their home.

"Okay, close your eyes and lay out your hands," Ari smiled. It was their first anniversary. They're currently in Israel for an operation but it didn't stop Ari to buy flowers and surprise his wife.

Y/N followed him. She opened her eyes to a box, a small black box with a card that read "Happy first anniversary, wife."

"Ari," She gasped. "What is this?"

He shrugged and kissed her, a soft but gentle peck on her lips. "Only the best for the best wife."

Heads turned their way when she screamed and jumped into his arms. It was a key! She knew what it meant since they've been talking about buying a house. She really did not bother what it looked like as long as she got to live in it with him for the rest of their lives.

Y/N shook her head and took a deep breath before walking up the steps and jangling her key inside. At this moment, her breath's heaving, her palms sweating and knees trembling. Is Ari there? Did someone break in while they were gone? She patted her leg for the gun in her thigh holster.

A cold gust of air greeted her along with the pitch blackness of the house. She took a deep breath and walked around the living room full of dust. It looked untouched from when they last left or when she last left; a year ago. Y/N decided to walk around and explore their house. Nothing has changed, even the curtains closed so she opened it and was greeted with dust. She coughed from the enormous amount of dust that lived in it. She got alerted when she heard a commotion up the stairs. It sounded above the living room and that was their master's bedroom.

Is Ari here? She asked herself again. She walked up the stairs and took out her gun. It got silent, dead silent, when she got in front of the door.

She counted up to three while holding the knob. She took a deep breath and opened it before flashing her gun.

Oh...

It's just Ari...

Naked.

Like naked with his hands up, his cocky eyes enjoying what she was seeing. She was shocked. No, she took a step back with her wide eyes and mouth, face flushing from embarrassment.

"Freeze?" He wiggled his brows and smirked, eyes gleaming when he realized it was his wife.

She couldn't answer because he was still naked. His member smiled up at her. The ray of sun glistened on him and it made him... shiny? She shook her head, closed her mouth, and kept them in a straight line.

"What..." She breathed, her breaths heaving from the shock. "Are you doing here?"

"Well, honey," He smiled, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it on his waist. "I live here."

Oh... right...

"What are you doing home?" He emphasized on the home, raised his brow, still smiling. What the hell is he smiling about?

She didn't answer him yet. She went straight to the closet, got a bag, set it on the bed, and packed clothes while Ari was lying on the bed, fully clothed, watching her with his hands behind his neck and legs wide open showing his thing--his big thing.

"Deja vu, huh?"

She raised a brow and glared at him. "Yeah," She nodded. "I pack, you watch me leave."

He huffed. "Hey," He sat straight. "I went after you."

She looked at him square in the eyes. "I didn't ask you to." She grabbed her bag, headed straight to the car, and bawled her eyes out. She knew what he was doing yet she still can't make her way out of his charm. Y/N thought she had moved on but whenever she sees him, it all comes back to square one. The one where she'd drop everything for her. The one where he doesn't.

The next time they saw each other was in Germany. They had to go to NATCOR for their passports; their new identity. She doesn't know who decided her persona but she doesn't like it, not one bit.

"Really? We're married? Even on this we're married?" Y/N asked as she browsed her passport and new wedding ring which was her real wedding ring.

Ari had that smug, smile-y, arrogant smirk on his face and shrugged his shoulders. "I did not decide that."

Her eyes went around the table to see who was on this ruse but all of them shrugged. She looked at Ethan next and he decided to go back to his office and close the door. In the end, she rolled her eyes and slumped back on the chair, crossing her arms and legs.

"Okay, come on, you're up first. Your name?" Ari sat on the edge of the table with his arms on his lap, stared at her, waiting for her answer.

"Je m'appelle Charlotte Thomas. Né le 14 décembre 1989. Je suis marié et voyage avec mon mari pour une lune de miel," Y/N sighed after. Her persona is Charlotte Thomas, a married wife who is on their anniversary.

"Why are you here?"

She huffed. "Je voyage avec mon mari ici pour fêter notre anniversaire de trois ans."

Y/N raised her brow at him. He's still smiling, a wide, up the ear smile. His eyes and ears enjoying the sight and sound of her wife speaking a foreign language. "Very good."

Then they went to Rachel; a German tourist who's the best in martial arts. Then to Sammy; a fellow doctor who's their field doctor. Then there's Jake; their diver and electronic expertise. And then Max; their shooter, best in the field. They all practiced their personas as it is required and they have to be very careful since they will not be bringing ammunition, just their natural strengths.

Y/N's leg was bouncing and she was biting her nails. A habit she has whenever they start an operation. Their plane just landed in Sudan. People are starting to get off, but they decided to wait for everyone to go down before they will. Ari noticed her. His big, callous hand reached hers and stopped her from biting it. She tilted her head to see him lightly smile at her. He intertwined their hands and placed it on his lap, drawing circles on her thumb. Y/N took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.

The line to customs was long. She went in front of Ari. Max and Sammy were done. Y/N was in the same row as Rachel but Jake was taken to their office. She glanced at Rachel but she timidly shrugged. Customs was quick for her but they took a longer time with Ari.

"Is that your wife?" The officer asked him and pointed at her.

Ari glanced at her and nodded. "Yes, we're celebrating our anniversary."

The officer looked at them and stamped his passport. Y/N sighed when he did. Ari took her hand and started walking but a known CIA agent passed by them. She forgot who he was.

"Mr. Thomas," He called Ari.

Ari turned with her. "Walton Bowen," He confirmed, pointing his passport with him.

"You're back," He said, looking at you. "With company."

"Yes," Ari placed his arm around her. "Walton, this is my wife, Charlotte. Honey, this is Walton Bowen, he works in the U.S. Embassy."

Walton Bowen, right. The guy who's undercover for years now. She remembered her dad telling her that they sent him to monitor Sudan and for the operations to be off the grid. Y/N shook his hand and smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Bowen."

Walton took his time to answer, trying to remember who she was. "It's nice to meet you."

"Back to study ancient civilizations?" He turned to Ari. "Can I offer you a ride somewhere?" He asked as they glanced at Rachel passing by them.

"No, no, we're all set, thank you though. Good to see you though," Ari immediately pulled her before she could say goodbye. He called the guy who was picking them up and left Bowen's sight.

"What should we do?" Y/N whispered, walking towards the car.

"Just get in the car," He murmured.

"We can't leave him there."

"Just get in the car," He enunciated, taking her bag, and placing it inside.

They got inside the car and drove. Luckily, they saw Jake lining up behind Sammy. Both of them took a sigh before chuckling at each other. They headed for the Ministry of Tourism to lease the resort. They haven't done that since they'll want cash not checks. And they have to see his face for important purposes. They got seated inside the minister's office. A spacious green-colored office with a large portrait of the president on the left and masks hanging on the back of the minister.

The minister started browsing their brochure which she made. He placed it down and smiled at them. "This is beautiful."

Y/N did not respond. She let Ari do all the talking. She remained seated with her hands clasped and leg crossed. She was blankly staring at her and casually glancing at Ari.

"President Nimeiry would be delighted. He understands the benefits of a thriving tourist economy for the people of Sudan," Minister nodded. Ari smiled in return and looked at the portrait before shooting her a glance.

He smiled. "We couldn't agree more."

The minister looked at Y/N. She lightly smiled. "So, no kids?"

"We're getting there," Y/N chuckled.

"The price—"

Y/N looked at Ari when he heard a gunshot. Another after another. It messed with her. Who was getting shot? Who are they killing? Why are they killing? 

"—Is 500 thousand dollars."

"I thought we agreed on 250," Ari glanced at her. "When we spoke on the phone with the Embassy we... we agreed on 250."

Madibbo's face went blank. "The price—"

Another shot.

"Has always been 500."

All of the shots made her stand up and walk to the window. "What the hell is that?"

She was an inch close from opening the curtain when the minister laughed. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"President Nimeiry has many enemies. Now he has a few less," Madibbo joked but they didn't laugh.

Y/N looked at Ari; his eyes pleading, full of worry. She gulped and took a deep breath before sitting down. She felt her stomach tie in a knot from disgust. Her face scrunched up when he said that. 

Ari inhaled sharply, sighs, then pulled out an envelope full of cash. That's what they love: Money. "Well," He said, placing it on the table. "350's our best offer. We can write it down as 250 and you can take the rest and do something beneficial for the people of Sudan."

She gulped while looking at Madibbo and the money when he took his time to answer.

"You may not speak Arabic, Mr. Thomas," He bobbed his head. "But you do speak the local language," He laughed heartily.

Ari laughed with him. He looked at her and started to worry when he saw her face getting pale.

"Of course, this does not include the staff salaries," Madibbo informed, standing up to get liquor behind the mask.

"Fine. Fine," Ari replied. 

Y/N raised her head. "What staff?" She whispered but Ari just shrugged.

They went on to toast the Red Sea diving resort after that they got straight into the car that Ari will drive to go to the resort. She's in the car with Ari and Sammy. The drive to the resort took a couple of hours and it was exhausting and hot. Finally they arrived at the resort. All of them settled in the front and looked at it.

"It sure doesn't look like the brochure," Max said.

All of them looked at him and he shrugged. They all got inside and looked around. It was dirty to say the least— hot and dirty. Bugs everywhere, black water, and dust on top of everything. 

Y/N went out the back to look at the beach. Ari settled their bags then followed her. "What do you think?"

She squinted at him, wearing her sunglasses that they got matching. "It's beautiful."

It really was. The beach was magnificent; clear blue sea against the deep blue creating beautiful waves, the endless mountains added perfection to it. The hotel can be cleaned up to look exactly like the brochure. 

"Hey, guys!" Rachel yelled. "This paper from this week."

Max then yelled. "Hey, yo! This fish is fresh."

Both of them knotted their eyebrows in confusion and went inside the dining room. Y/N pointed out the ashtray. "This is new."

Ari was supposed to reply but someone ran outside the door hitting Y/N. She immediately ran towards him but was grabbed by Ari's big, muscular arms. "Stay here!"

She saw all of them run in one direction following Ari but Y/N mouth fell on the floor. Stay there?! She's not a kid. Y/N ran to them and saw people; lots of people.

"Hi," Y/N said to them, waving, panting from the run. "I'm Charlotte, this is Guy. We're the new owners of this hotel."

None of them responded to her. All of them stared at Max's spear gun. "Max, lower that thing," Ari said. "Come on."

"Abu Hamid," Their leader, she thinks, said.

Y/N and Ari greeted her. She smiled at them, especially at the girl wearing the hijab. 

"What the hell is going on?" Sammy quietly asked. 

"I think we just met the local staff," Ari replied.

The staff got introduced and all of them met in the common area. Y/N had planned out that this will be a functioning resort to be a front for the extraction. They all cleaned the hotel and when night fell, she was tired. So tired that she hasn't got any chance to eat. The team decided their rooms; Rachel was on the far right, Jake beside the staff's room; Max beside the front door; Sammy beside the back door. 

"Okay, so I get the room next to Rachel's?" Y/N asked. 

Ari crossed his arms. "We have to stay in one room."

She raised her brow, mouth agape from his statement. Y/N looked at their mates stifling their laughs. "Why is that?"

"Honey," Ari called her, adoringly. "We're married."

"We're fake married here!" Y/N exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in disbelief.

"Well," Ari chuckled and pointed his finger. "Technically, we're still married."

Y/N grunted. Their friends bursted into laughter. Ari stifle his laughter but the joy was evident in his eyes when he raised his head to look at her. Y/N stood up and walked to their shared room. She looked back to call Ari. "You better sign my divorce for this."

The husband did not like that. He clenched his jaw, his hands balled into a fist, and slammed it into the table when he knew she was inside. Max whistled to tease him. He shot him a look and his whistle died down.

"You were a jerk huh," Rachel smirked.

He looked at her to stop. Ari decided to call it a night. Y/N knocked the door off and revealed a dusty, grimy, cold room. Luckily, she brought everything to make a functioning hotel. In less than an hour, Y/N turned it into a hotel room; a five star hotel room. Y/N fired up scented candles that she always brought, she had a mini solar lamp that he placed on a stool to act as a nightstand, and she sprayed her lavender scented room spray.

After the room makeover, she changed  into a nightgown. She took a relaxing shower, sprayed perfume, lathered lotion all over her body, and wore her eye mask for a relaxing sleep. The day was exhausting and she decided to let the bed eat her and take her to dreamland.

>>Part 2<<

[navire190413]

sooooooooo i passed jlpt n1! i officially have proof that i am somewhat fluent in japanese. very surprised i passed since i drank until 3 am the night before and i was so hungover the room was spinning while doing the reading section. my score even isnt that bad haha.

this weekend was a whirlwind. spent everyday with x-chan and was all ラブラブwith him, like we usually are. went to Uotoku, a fancy-ish 海鮮 izakaya in Ikebukuro, on friday night as a date. i made the mistake of reserving a table on their rooftop... i assumed they would have fans like most outside dining places do, but no such luck. it was incredibly hot. we just ate バターホタテ andマグロ刺身 then left because x-chan couldn't keep himself from complaining about how much he was sweating.

then we went to an old-style izakaya that was super cheap. while using the smoking booth, an older man came in and started talking to me about whats it like living in tokyo as an american and my tattoos. i thought nothing of it. just casual small talk while awkwardly standing in a glass box together. when i got back to the table, x-chan was upset that i spoke to another man and didnt just ignore him instead.

random picture of me in the smoking booth x-chan took of me lol

after the izakaya, we went to our usual bar since it was our friend's birthday party. we picked her out some stuff from Lush before going on our date that night.

after the bar, i tried confessing to him in front of ikebukuro station (hahahahah), but it just turned into a fight about how we have no trust between us and my heart isn't pure (i dont want to explain what happened between us in the past. neither of us cheated, physically or emotionally. he just has insane expectations about what is "good behaviour"). we were fighting for so long we almost missed the last train. basically it came down to the fact that since im pursuing him right now, i shouldnt see other guys but since he's not pursuing me, if he has a chance to take a girl on a date he wouldn't say no if he thought he would come to like her. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

but despite the argument, we still hungout on saturday. we went to our usual izakaya in ikebukuro and laughed about how big of alcoholics we've turned into. after that we went to the pokemon center at sunshine city. x-chan bought me some new handkerchiefs since im collecting them, and a mimikyu coin case since i desperately needed one. afterwards we went to gacha-pon like we always do. he really wanted a cool pokemon gacha, so we went to gigo after sunshine city to try to find one. we found a cool gachapon but he ended up getting 2 of the pokemon he wanted the least, so we just weny to our usual bar and left them there since it’s littered with gacha toys.

a really drunk woman started talking to us, and asking about our relationship. i told her we were exes, so of course she had to ask about what happened and why the fuck we're casually drinking with eachother and hugging on eachother. she first sided with x-chan, then sided with me and eventually told me to find a better guy if he decides to not pick me in the end because im too cute and カッコいい for that shit. that pissed x-chan off, but i convinced him to just ignore her.

we parted ways at the last train.

i got home and drank some more. while drinking, x-chan calls me and we talk until like 3AM. we made plans for the next day as well.

the next day we go to ueno to eat sushi, then go to karaoke, then go to gachapon, then go to another one of our usual izakayas.

when we broke up, a big reason was that i didnt quit smoking cigarettes (i never said i would, by the way). but lately x-chan has been smoking a lot of my cigarettes when we're together. i think its funny but im also screaming hypocrite in my head the entire time.

he actually invited me to his place last night. which is the first time in a month. i was staying at his house almost 3 days a week up until a month ago. we got into a big fight about how weird he is about human relationships. he's lonely but hates people, so i was trying to give him some advice which he called stupid. soooo i may have told him to just go ahead and die alone if he doesnt want to change. after that he got really cold towards me, but lately has been nicer. he ended up getting kind of sick an hour later so we decided to go to our separate places instead. but he invited me to come over on friday since we've been going out too much and spending too much money.

i am so stressed about this stupid fucking relationship hahah. we have plans to go to disneyland, tokyo game show, and 2 other live shows in the next two months. he's even talking to me about going to korea together in november. its so difficult. i know if he finds another girl to date before those events, he'll take her instead of me so i'm kind of panicking a bit. but it'll be what it'll be.

all my friends, american and japanese, despise him and want me to cut him off immediately since he is very obviously border-line mentally abusive. but i cant just cut off my best friend and the person i have the most fun with. i know this will probably end badly, but i really enjoy the time we spend together when we’re not bickering and he says he really does too. we just have a lot to work through if there’s the time to do so before he finds someone else.

also got this message from my american ex about me passing the jlpt and it felt like a shot to the heart. oof. ouch.

ANYWAYS enough about that. i’m gonna start studying for the 漢字能力検定 since im all done with the jlpt. i really gotta get my 漢字 knowledge up. i think im already level 4 out of 10, with 1 being the hardest. it’s a kanji test aimed towards native speakers, and even then 1 and 2 are apparenlty super hard. i took a couple practice tests and passed level 5, but gonna start with level 5 first for some review. you actually have to write the kanji for the test, so its gonna be challenging for me despite being pretty good at remembering how to write kanji. i picked up a study book on my way home and knew about 95% of what i saw while flipping through. just gotta get used to the test structure and everything. only issue is trying to learn the definitions along with the kanji, which will be some extra time studying compared to native speakers. finally excited to be studying again. i studied for years for the jlpt and it was so grueling and boring towards the end after being able to recognize all the grammar points and a majority of the vocabulary.

[ruminate88]

Understanding Cognitive Dissonance 🤔

Basically it’s having “two different opinions” of something or someone. I can openly say I have multiple opinions of my ex, Andrew. The person he showed me especially when I first met him is NOT who he actually seems to be…

The first week of talking to Andrew, he was proposing to me daily. Was saying “I love you so much cutie” and I barely knew his name!!! I had been ghosted almost 6 months prior and I had been numb. Andrew made me “feel” for the first time. He made me feel “overwhelmed” and “crazy”. There was so much fog!!! Who was this young man proposing to me and was he serious?? 🧐

He told me his name and a little bit of his story but I wasn’t truly letting him in because I was protecting my heart. He told me his age and he was so much younger than me. Plus he kept sending me selfies with all his “cows” telling me he lives on a farm and I’m not an animal person so that was a lot for me too lol Eventually because I wasn’t letting him in, he then disappeared for almost 2 weeks!! I didn’t know what happened to him and oddly “I missed him” even though I barely knew him. Then he came back, apologized to me and said “he had bad luck” weird 😳 (I now get it. His bad luck was he couldn’t get control over me!! He had to disappear so I would miss him and be more open next time he came around.)

Andrew FaceTimed me and it was amazingly awkward!!! Soooooo awkward. He’s gorgeous though and his eyes were sparkling sooo beautiful wow!!!! We literally just gazed at each other and he says to me “oh you’re really cute” *heart melted* and I was like “oh so are you” BUT we didn’t like a lot of the same stuff and his face showed it… he made me feel intimidated by his charm and looks. He did NOT appear too shy only a little bit. After our FaceTime call though, he acts soooo shy like he’s a virgin and knows very little about sex. I taught him everything I know!!! (I only knew what he was telling me. I didn’t know him at all!!)

All summer long he was sooo flirty and sending me pics, questioning sex. He would text me “good morning, cutie 😘” almost everyday BUT he wasn’t opened at all to telling me much else about himself (red flag 🚩) I tried to ask him real questions and get to know him but he was pretty much only down to be sexual.

Then my birthday came and he was soooo sweet to me!! I didn’t think he knew when my birthday was but he messaged me saying he hopes I have a great day and saying how sweet and cute he thinks I am (confusing) but never asked me out!! School started back up and he was getting his first apartment. He seemed super busy and like he was blowing me off!! I was torn at what to do. A part of me said “get out now and protect your heart” BUT the other part was like “oh but I think I’m attached and I want to pursue him” After he moved all his stuff into his apartment, a day later he contacts me and says he wants me to come see his apartment 🥴😝😳 I was worried he only wanted to “hook up” and I expressed to him my feelings were real and I needed more than that!!! Andrew said he also wanted the same and we started a relationship but then he disappeared for a week right after that!!!!!!!! It shook me up so bad and made me realize something was very wrong with him. I tried to ignore my gut feelings because He came back to me at the end of the week and apologized and told me “he loves me with all his heart and soul” and that’s super intense!!

Our relationship never got its feet off the ground though till January. The start of 2015 he was super loving, sweet and affectionate. Andrew was being the “perfect boyfriend” I thought I died and went to heaven…. Wow he made me feel so amazing and happy!!! He texted me and snap chatted me all day everyday for weeks and would just treat me like I was his entire world. (It didn’t last)

By v-day I noticed a shift with him and he was cold and distant. Some days it got worse after that and randomly some days I was “babe” again and he would randomly be so affectionate and loving again. The “hot and cold” behavior was a lot for me!!! He was inconsistent with his personality. I never knew if he was going to spend time with me or say “he’s too busy”. I also noticed certain things I did or said would upset him and make him either ignore me or make him frustrated towards me. I walked on eggshells nervous because I only wanted “the affectionate Andrew” to stay 😔🥺🥺🥺❤️‍🩹

Then when I broke up with Andrew in April, it was soooooo confusing. He didn’t even act upset or act like it was a big deal and continued to treat me with “hot and cold” behavior. Some days he would be like “oh we’re broken up I’m moved on” then OTHER DAYS it was, “oh babe I’m sorry for everything you’re so sweet and I still want to talk dirty to you I’m too weak to stay away from you” BUT then started to really gaslight me and tried to distort my reality….

Him being back and forth, hot and cold, up and down, constantly made me confused to who he ever was or what he wanted!!! His words did not match his actions but I was sooo insanely attached to him so I felt it was too difficult to walk away from him. Instead I KEPT TEXTING HIM FIRST but he always responded and engaged with me and HE WOULD BE THE ONE to turn everything sexual.

Since blocking his number, I don’t know what to think of him always or what to believe. My eyes, my heart and my brain all tell me different stories!! What truly kept me away from him all this time is the fact I had crazy anxiety when I was with him and now I don’t have any!!! Coincidence?? I think not!! I couldn’t hardly breathe when I was with him. That’s how I know his atmosphere he brings is very toxic. I still find myself saying “I don’t hate him, I care about him” but I know he broke my heart so much and I feel it deep that he doesn’t care about me ever and would only want me to be in pain. But then I think “am I being too dramatic?????”

SEE??!!!!! My brain still to this day goes back and forth on what to believe and what to think of him. That’s another good reason to just stay away from him. He has to much “mystery” and that scares me!!

”Oh my God, oh my God This feeling's just begun I'm saying things I've never said Doing things I've never done

Oh my God, oh my God When I see you I should run But I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop Tells me to stop

Feeling feelings I feel about us Try to fight it but it's never enough

My heart is certain It's more than a crush 'Cause I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop” 🥺❤️‍🩹

The feelings with Andrew was frozen in motion!! He made me ice cold!! ❄️ I hated myself and the whole world after we broke up. I spent a summer so dark just hearing things and seeing shadows but I was so attached I wouldn’t stop texting him and telling him my feelings!!! I felt like I begged him “for the truth” but I was never going to get it!!!

[courtzlou07]

Wind in my hair

Jj maybank x femreader

Fluff

1000 + words

Y/N'S POV

I a lot of things about JJ, like his hair, baby blue eyes and his love for the pogues and I, but my favourite thing to do with JJ is ride his motorbike. My parents never really liked the idea of my riding around with JJ on a motorbike but after lots and lots of begging I convinced them.

The first time JJ took me on the bike he picked me up from my house and promise my parents that he would look after me they seemed a bit more relaxed after that. I sat on the bike behind him and he put his helmet on me (he only had one and he wanted me to be safe) and started up the engine waved my parents goodbye and sped off. The second we took off I put my arms around his waste and held on for dear life until we got to John B's, let's just say I told him I was never doing that again.

About a week later I had finished my shift at the wreck and JJ was picking me up, I walked out the door to see my blonde headed boyfriend leaning against his bike.

"I told you I wasn't going on it again" I spoke as I walked over to him.

"Well I thought you could try it once more and if you really don't like it you don't ever have to ride it again" he smiled at me and kissed my lips quickly. I rolled my eyes and agreed with a "fine" and hoped on the back.

This time he went slower, he didn't speed off and didn't make me wear a head because there want anyone around. I had my head against his back and arms around his waist with my eyes squeezed shut but after a while I loosened my grip and sat up to let the wind blow through my hair.

"See it's not that bad right. I guess I should of went slow the first time" JJ said as I closed my eyes and let the mist of the ocean hit my face as we drove past it. JJ looked back at me and smiled at how happy I was doing something he loved. Once we got to the chateau I was beaming I couldn't wait to get back on, drive all the roads and go all over the island.

So from that day on JJ and I went for a ride and everyday no matter the weather it didn't matter if it was just from work to home or from john B's to work it was our time. It's been 2 years since that day and I even got my own helmet that JJ bought me for my 17th birthday that had Y/N Maybank writen on the back (it was definitely my favourite present). Today JJ is taking me on a date for our 3 year anniversary and he's said he had a surprise.

--------------------

When I got home from work I went up to my room and got ready. I was dressed in a black bikini (because he said it was at the beach) a red crop top and denim shorts with black converse. I put on some light make up did my hair and waited for JJ. I heard him pull in my driveway, I ran down stairs waved bye to my parents and left.

"Hi baby" I said as I gave him a quick kiss

"Hi love, don't you look gorgeous" I smiled at his compliment and hopped on the bike. I put the helmet on and he started the bike.

we drove through cut to get to the beach, when we got there JJ had set up a tent with fairy lights hanging off it with snacks and some pillows and blankets inside the tent.

"Do you like it?" he asked with a shy voice. I turned around of hugged him as tight as I could.

"I love it baby its perfect" we walked over and sat down and started talking and eating. after a while we got up and went to get in the water I took off my shorts and top and ran into the water and JJ followed. we started splashing each other and playing in the water.

he pulled me in by my waist and put kiss on my lips, we stayed like that for a while just happy to be in each others arms. after a while we got out and sat looking up at the stars listening to the waves hit the sand. 

" y/n you know how I said I had a surprise for you" I look yup at him and nod with a confused face because I though the tent set up was the surprise.

"come with me" we got up and he lead me a bit down the beach, "close your eyes" I did as he said and waited for him to tell me to open them. once he did I opened my eyes to see and almost brand new dirt bike in front of me. 

"do you like it? I know its not brand new but its what I could afford.....if you don't like it you don't have to keep it ill just give it to-" I cut him off with a kiss  when we pulled away he had the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face.

" I love it, but now I cant ride with you"

" you can still ride with me baby but now you don't have to wait for me to go" i smiled at him and gave him another kiss.

" i love you so much"

" i love you more"

[who-am-i-hahaha-noclue]

The first time my birthday sucked was after my older sister had her first suicide attempt. She had it two weeks before my birthday so on my birthday my mom brought her with us shopping and then brought her to her therapy appointment. I sat in the doctors office waiting room crying on that day. I had just turned 14.

The next year her suicide attempt was two weeks after my birthday.

And the year I turned 16 it was three weeks before my birthday. And I had begun to resent her. I barely talked to my sister for like 2 years, and thought of her a selfish. In reality I just didn’t understand the situation that was going on in her head. After that realization we started to talk more.

When I turned 20 she met this guy and introduced him to the family and we all loved him. I love her boy friend and he was so nice to her. They moved i together and planned to get married this spring.

I turned 22 today, and almost one month ago she died. I talked and saw her the morning she went into the hospital and she was perfectly fine. I had come to pick up her younger sister around noon, we were gonna go shopping. Around 2 in the afternoon she called me and asked when we were coming home and I told her we would be there by 3. When three o’clock came around I brought her home and walked her sister to the front door so I could say goodbye to my older sister. No one answered the door and we left. An hour goes by and my sisters boyfriend calls my mom and tells her he found my sister on the floor not breathing. When my mom came home from the hospital that night she tells my younger sisters and I that my older sister isn’t going to live and won’t wake up. Five days go by and they finally do an mri to see if she has any brain activity. They pronounced her 100% brain dead.

Now when I think of my sister I think it’s kind of funny that she died so close to my birthday. I am sad that I resented her for such a long time, and even felt annoyed when she was around. I wish I could hug her or hear her, because I miss her and she’s not coming back. I think about her everyday and I can’t call her or send her a text because there will be no reply. I hope she knows I loved her too, and even if I didn’t say it that I didn’t hate her because I know she loved me.

[teamkrissy]

 And now we come to the series of unfortunate events that I suffered in October and November of 2014. How much should I share? They aren't really relevant to Arachne, except for that they are the reason we had to move again. I'm sure she felt it, she saw me cry, she nestled on my lap with concern and worry for my tears. She watched me pack up our beautiful kitchen and take the cat grass down from the window where she could see the birds. Did she notice the absence of people from my life? The ones who came over every once in a while who we would never see again? Did she smell and then not smell the pregnancy pheromones?

 Our apartment complex was being saved from ruin by a bigger, stronger real estate firm. Its true, over the past 3 months, the pipes were burst and steaming in my ceiling every morning. We had become friends with the singular maintenance man, he was in our apartment every day before I went to work. I made him coffee and he applied another layer of duct tape to the pipes. The apartment became humid and left stains on the last birthday present I had given to my father (a white throw pillow.) There was also a plague of fleas from the upstairs neighbor who cared for strays. Arachne was so sick. At night, she would sleep in bed with me, under the blankets. In the morning, sometimes she would wake me up by trying to suckle from me. I tried all the flea collars and the drops. I sprinkled the carpet with baking soda, salt and diatomaceous earth and vacuumed everyday. There was a fresh new cake every time I emptied the vacuum's container. I took Arachne to a friend's and bug bombed the apartment. Eventually I went to the vet again and they said that the fleas had developed a resistance to everything on the market and now could only be eradicated through prescription drops. I got the drops!

  The new management left a notice on my door, stating I had 31 days to either vacate or sign a new lease with them for an unit that hadn't been built yet. Unfortunately, the notice was placed on the first day of my bereavement leave. Arachne was at a friend's house and I was driving out of state to help my family grieve for two weeks.

 So I returned to the apartment with just over 2 weeks to find a place for us to live. I told my boss, this may be a two week notice. Coworkers tried to help find places. Friends tried to offer their couches, again. I didn't make much money, everything in my price range had at least a two month wait list that I could join. The yet-to-be-built apartment the new management was offering was out of my price range, even after some haggling. I was exhausted. I quit my job and did something I had long ago vowed never to do. I moved into my Mom's boyfriend's house.

[diamonddstudded]

Hi I would really appreciate it if you could give me your input/thoughts into the situation I’m in💕 so I’ve been talking to a guy Over a year long distance we met on bumble...from the start I told him my intentions was a relationship and he said he wanted the same and was very persistent with me from the very beginning (talking everyday, very complimentary of me constantly swiping up on all my stories I posted of myself) he seemed to be very interested. We were talking for months even prior to me going to see him (which I was already going there for my birthday with friends) so we finally meet I ended up going alone because my friend got sick and at that point I was just wanting to meet him. So I travel to see him take the plane and what bothered me was he didn’t take time off of work so majority of the time I was there I was alone in the hotel, we really didn’t do much because he was working and he also said he was broke he kept trying to hookup with me but we didn’t fully hookup ...so I met another guy that I ended up having fun with, he we went out to bar, got dinner with and went to the beach with. I was honestly really upset about the guy I was talking to for months because I went there for him....he found out that I met another guy he was mad at me and said “he couldn’t trust me, that I had to prove myself to him” I told him how I felt and why I did that and he seemed to think it wasn’t justified...so we talk more he expresses to me how he wants a relationship again making me think he’s really interested by how much attention, consistency and overall compliments he gives me. I go there again, we drink and hookup but he leaves me without any explanation later he gets back into communication with me (after blocking me) saying I was talking to him about another guy when I was drunk that’s why he left...at this point I’m really upset by the way I am being treated and it just doesn’t make any sense to me. I ask him if he has a girlfriend he denies it...I go there again months later and same thing we drink and hookup again but I don’t even remember it. I wake up and he’s gone again and he has me blocked...I finally get in contact with him while I’m there and he tells me how he saw my phone and saw I was talking to other men that’s why he left called me “dirty and a hoe” but I expressed to him that I didn’t know how it was going to go that’s why I was potentially going to meet another guy. I was blocked for the rest of the trip....I put so much time, energy and genuineness into it with him and he would constantly lie, flip it on me making it my fault when it was never my intention to hookup with him...so I don’t know why he would do this to me. I really don’t get it. We get in contact again like 2 weeks later when I get back from the flight and he again is expecting me to apologize to him, made me feel bad about it all he said we were supposed to do way more then he saw my phone...I was going to go there again but then I get a call and find out he’s had a girlfriend this whole time...I told her everything sent her over 30 screenshots of it all (which described it all, our conversations that talked about it all...) she was so calm saying “hes had his sides before he’s just immature” where I was very upset...and confused as to why she even reached out to me at all? She said they broke up but then months later contacted me again asking if I was still talking to him...and how he was talking to her. Anyway, he’s still stalking my profile everyday many times a day, still trying to see me while still with the girlfriend I don’t get why he would do this and continue to do it...he even called me pure after the first time meeting. He’s been reaching out to me asking me to come I asked him to call me because I said he’s being aloof, send him one word responses he goes “I’m sorry but maybe soon” but doesn’t...but expects me to come?? I know I shouldn’t be so hung up on it but I honestly put so much time, energy into it. We had countless conversations of me being so upset with him, telling him my intention and he would have me come

Hi, okay so this sounds kinda challenging for you.

Tbh this guy's behavior looks like a big redflag!! He appears inconsistent, disrespectful and very manipulative.

If I were in your situation I would just block him and cut off all contact.

I think you deserve a healthy relationship, please prioritize your own well-being.

And I’m sure that someone better will come your way!!

[girltomboy]

My birthday weekend was so wonderful. My boyfriend and I attended the graduation ceremony for his class, he chose to not participate because he thought, since he didn't pass the year, he technically did not graduate. But we didn't know he *could* have participated, and they called his name but he was not there on the stage. And he tried to play it cool but I could tell he was a little bit hurt by it. He said it's meaningless anyway, since it's only symbolic and doesn't actually count as anything. I was frustrated that he wouldn't even go get his graduation diploma, but he insisted it's nothing so we forgot about it.

Near midnight he paused what we were watching and ran to the store to buy me a small cake and stuck a lit joint in it to wish me a happy birthday 😭 it was so cute I was sure I would cry but I didn't because I was happy in a cheerful way, not an emotionally raw way. And it was just funny. And he got me the pig plushie that I had seen in a thrift store window two days in a row. I literally wanted to go buy it myself but the store closes before I finish work. And on the day before my birthday when we walked by that store again, the plushie was not there anymore, and I wanted to point it out to him but I didn't (I regret not doing it now because I keep imagining what his reaction would have been!). And he also got me space erasers and a sweet card with a wooden whale on it. He only wrote "happy birthday, I love you" on it and apologized for not writing something more. I kind of expected to read more than that but I'm grateful for everything he did for me to have a nice birthday. He made me a delicious breakfast and then we went out and had taco bell and ice cream by the lake. And the next day my bestfriend came to the city with her boyfriend for some uni-related errands, and she gave me a lovely gift and introduced me to her bf. He is a guy she had been talking to for YEARS, he was texting her from Germany when we were in uni, and they were just friends talking about stuff. I remember how she used to tell me she thought about what if they were together, but she said she would not consider it because he's younger (and shorter). Really mind-blowing story they have. But they look cute together, and he's a Gemini like her. She told me about her job, and that she might come to the beach with us, which got me extremely hype and excited!! She got me a heat changing mug, some spring charms, and a colorful turtle bracelet that I never want to take off.

After that my bf left to his parents' house for the summer, and since then my week has been mostly empty, and so so so so sleepy. I had such a hard time waking up and staying focused at work the whole week. And it felt weird not looking forward to meeting and hanging out with my bf after work. I've just been napping and using my phone way too much. We video call but it's not the same, I like it way less now that I've had a taste of being with him physically everyday. Even though we spent the whole first 2 ish years of our relationship on video calls. But at least we spend time on discord with our other friends too, I'd been missing them and gaming together.

I only slept 5 hours last night and today I kind of want to go buy another box dye, a lighter shade this time. Last week I dyed my hair some kind of blonde, but it looks too warm for me, and my bf said it looks darker 💀 somehow. So I want to get that, some shaving foam, and body lotion. Also kitchen sponges, eggs, bread, some yogurt, parsley, and some razors. I plan on resuming my yoga routine (I've been perpetually exhausted and haven't done it in 4 days), using some hot cream for my back because it's been bothering me a bit, dye my hair + shower, and give myself a lotion massage. I've been watching OITNB and I forgot how emotional this show used to make me.

[crater-lake]

5

3/10/23

I feel very proud of myself! Here are the reasons. I just finished my 7:30AM - 12:00PM shift. It was an easy day. I can wake up and go to work. I feel lucky that waking up does not hurt as much as it used to in High School. I was explaining derivatives to an OA and it caught me in a fury of numbers. I found the equation to describe the change of the numbers of fourth power numbers. Which is to say the numbers between 1,16,81, 256 etc. I came up with the equation: 4x^3-6x^2+4x-1 which generates the sequence: 1, 15, 65, 175, 369, 671. I have not done math in a little while so it impressed me that I was able to generate it. I felt useful and intelligent. My coworkers were confused by me and I explained that I don’t like to be bored. It was a lot of fun. Once the caffeine hits my system, I’m gone. I also forwarded the link for submitting an advertisement to the Student Centers for Stephanie from my Bilingual Research Class for her endangered language project workshop. I knew how to find her email. I coordinated with Jenn for Make-a-Wish for next week’s schedule and coordinated with Demi to ensure I can do both next week. I went to the Main Lounge and played piano and talked to Elizabeth and that faculty member about music at the piano. He asked me to play Clair de Lune and I did not mind. Hablé con Elizabeth sobre su hijo y como aprender tocar el piano y quiere que aprenda “Happy Birthday.” I also made a reservation for Mangia Toscano at 7PM so I can get dinner with my friend Sam! I played Rachmaninov. I came to Brower to eat food. Miquel told me he sent the Catalan poem I wrote for him to his mother, who said it was “precious.” Miquel loves the poem I wrote so much that it made him cry. I got my third and final reference for my internship application for the Court Interpreting Internship I am applying for this summer! I asked my interpretation professor from Spain and he agreed and I even emailed him in Catalan! This week, I made a Linked-In and completely revised my resumé. I just need to write a Cover Letter and wait for Liz’s new email for her Philadelphia job. I’m seeing my friend Matt in 45 min, who I met over the summer because he came in to play the piano and I said, “What is your story?” and I showed him my Golden Hour Poetry (before JVKE ruined the phrase) and we reconnected after Spain and yes, everyday I wake up and wonder when Fulbright results are coming out. I have never wanted something so badly in my whole life. I am listening to Arlo Parks and thinking of Ananya and how I am doing everything I have ever dreamed of and I remember so viscerally when I was at Make-a-Wish having just left and evening was a vibrant amber hanging in the pine trees across the parking lot and black silhouettes spread their wings against the radiant firmament (word occurred to me for some reason) and I felt utterly there, like dumbfoundedly there, wildly there. And I knew Vulnera was different and that it ended again, for me, in that moment. I have made it despite the horror I have witnessed getting older. I led a sectional in University Choir and people ask me if I study music and I say I don’t, I just love it. I do Sinfonia with Jay as well and feel proud. When I get the chance, I go to the gym and have good sex with pretty men and I can hold my glorious sadnesses and set them down if I need to and the coffee is sprinting through me and I feel warmly about graduating and I will do everything I need to do to be okay and to not be in vulnera. I am actively trying to invest into my life and my wellbeing and my friends and my existence. I do not deserve vulnera. I am in my name and my story. People value and love me. I can leave a room. I can try to leave a room. I can leave the room 598 times and then try again. Now Black Dog is playing: the E major seventh to A major seventh is being saved. Miquel said to me: T’estime molt molt molt molt molt. 

[zzztobi]

𖥻 ‹𝟹 pairing: dilf!bokuto x fem!reader

𖥻 ‹𝟹 tw: fluff, oral sex (f), love confession (?), dILF BOKUTO. (not proofread like always :p) nsfw content mdni.

𖥻 ‹𝟹 wordcount: 1,6k

you've been looking for a job for the longest time know, applying to every place you found, not even minding what the job was about. that is until one of your father's coworkers, called bokuto, asked you about giving some general classes to his 8 y/o son. all you needed to do is help him with his homework and assigments. an easy job and well paid, that is.

you knocked on the door, waiting for your dad's coworker to open it. you would have expected a normal size house, like yours for example. but man, this house was huge. a far "coming!" could be heard and the most handsome, big and attractive man opened the door with the brighest smile.

“ah, you must be (y/n), right?” still amazed by his presence, you just nodded, cheeks now a pinkish color. “well, c'mon c'mon, don't just stand on the doorway darling.”

he pulled you in to his house, still smiling to you. the nickname he gave you taking you by surprise, making your cheeks to grow redder. the interior of the house was almost blinding due to the white walls and furniture being reflected by all the dazzling lights. just a few pictures of him and his kid hanging around.

“your father told me you were a really good student, so that's why i thought you could help my son, but he didn't tell me you were this pretty.” he approached you, big hand on your lower back montioning you to keep walking inside, making you shiver a little. “my son is in his room. just walk upstairs to the second room on your right.” he kept that bright smile on his face the whole time. “i'll prepare something for the both of you!”

and with that he went to the open kitchen. you just muted an almost inaudible “okay” and went to his son's room where a kid looking exactly the same as his father was waiting for you.

after the first day, came a lot more. then weeks and months, you were earning a lot of money thanks to bokuto. and his son was doing pretty good in school thanks to you.

everyday you got to know a little more about him, since he always had a little chat with you after the study session was over. your learned that he divorced his wife after he knew she was cheating on him. that was when his son was barely 2 years old. then, he won the trial and the custody of his son.

he didn't get married again because he was really focused on his job and his son. that taking all his time in the day. you didn't know why but that information gave you some sort of relief. you learned that he was indeed way younger that your dad, 35 years old.

you noticed his behaviour towards you changed a little everyday, for the better of course. he would always compliment your outfit or hair, even if you just wore some sweatpants and a shirt. he always assured you that you looked good with anything.

you even started to put a little more effort on the way you looked just to hear his “you look really pretty today (y/n)!” or his “wow, you sure are beutiful!”. every compliment igniting somehing in you, something you were to scared to accept. 

today was like any other day, your dad drove you to bokuto’s house, you waited outside of it after knocking a few times and waited for him to open the door for you. but this time he opened the door a little surprised to see you here, a frown adorning his beautiful face.

“what are you doing here today? my son’s in a birthday party!” you just looked at him, mimicking his frown. then it hit him, he didn’t tell you that piece of information. “oh shit, i forgot to text you about it right?” he looked through his phone, searching for the message he never wrote and never sent you. 

“don’t worry bokuto-san! i can call my dad again to pick me up.” you smiled at him, a smile so bright and wide that made his heart jump everytime. a smile that he caught himself thinking about at anytime in the day. that derived  on him thinking about you; the way you talked, how your eyes squinted when you smiled, the way your hips moved, the shine of your hair, the colour of your lips. fantasazing after how good they would look around his cock or moaning his name. 

he thought this opportunity was given to him by god himself, he could not let it slip through his fingers. “oh no please! come inside, let me invite you to some coffee for the drive here! it’s my fault after all.” 

the evening with bokuto went by so fast with all the jokes and story telling, really enjoying spending time with him. in one of all the fit of laughters that you had during the evening, you placed your left hand on bokuto’s arm while you grasped your tummy with the other one, crying and laghing because of some of his colleges stories. 

that subtle touch and the happiness on your face made something ignite inside of bokuto’s chest. something that he hasn’t felt since the first years of marriage with his ex wife. something that he’s been longing for so long. something that he only found on you again. 

he put his own hand on top of yours, making you to look up at him. your heart doing backflips on your chest. this is where you realized your feelings. feelings that you kept bottled up, afraid for he outcome of it. 

you were afraid of his reaction. did he felt the same way? there’s no way, he was your “boss”. but if he did correspond your feelings, how would people react to it? it frightened you, what people would think about it, how would your parents react to it. for god’s sake he was your father’s coworker! this was supposed to be a job relationship with no feelings involved! 

all of this blurred out when you caressed his face and pressed your lips on his. a kiss so awaited by both of you, that took bokuto by surprise, but that he happily returned ignoring his inner voice telling him that this was wrong. 

he succumbed to the kiss, to the way your lips moved along his, the sound you made when he granted access to your own mouth with his tongue, to the feeling of your fingers caressing his cheeks and neck. he succumbed to you.

soon the kiss turned messy and desperate, tongues lapping and teeth clacking. his hands roamed your body, scared that if he stopped you would disappear. breaking the kiss you both looked at each other lovingly as if you were trying to express your feelings with your eyes. feelings that tip toed on your tongues, too scared to say something.

“y/n, i know this sounds crazy but fuck, i really like you.” your eyes widened at his confession. “i know this is wrong and i'm too old. but no matter how much i want to, i can't seem to get you out of my head.” bokuto looked nervous. surely his confession was something that you didn't expect but damn if it didn't make your heart burst.

taking both of his hands on yours, your eyes met his and with a warm smile you leaned into him again almost pressing your lips on him. “i like you too bokuto” the kiss was nothing like the first; it was soft and lovingly, pouring both of your hearts into it — all of your feelings exposed to each other.

your bodies soon moved upstairs to his bedroom. you laid on your back with bokuto's lips still on yours. his hands were everywhere: your waist, your hips, your thighs, your face. every inch if your skin was covered with his kisses and hands.

playing with them hem of your shirt he stopped, his eyes looked at you with pure lust and love. “can i baby?” you nodded too lost in the scent that surrounded you — bokuto's scent. “i'm gonna need more than that. use your words pretty” your eyes never left his face. “yes kou, i give you full consent to do anything with me”

he growled, pressing his forehead on your tummy. “you're gonna drive me crazy” resuming his movements, he took off your shirt with your own help. his shirt and sweatpants came after, only you left in a pair of shorts. pulling them down he almost salivated at the sight of your covered pussy in some blue underwear.

pressing wet kisses on your thighs, his fingers played with your covered folds earning some whimpers from you. he then proceeded to take off your underwear, now dampened with your slick. placing both of your legs on his shoulders, he looked back at you and smirked before giving a little kiss to your clit.

that little kiss turned into kitten licks and then into long desperate ones. his hot tongue ran through your folds, tasting every part of you as if your pussy was the first meal he had in ages. his tongue played with your pussy while two of his fingers thrusted into you. wet sounds and moans filling his senses.

he felt your walls clenching around his fingers, announcing your upcoming orgasm along with your high pitched moans and some “please, bokuto” he never stopped his ministrations, if so, he increased them. “i know baby, i know. just cum for me yeah? be a good girl and cum on my tongue” and with that you reached your high, the coiling feeling on your stomach unraveling.

at that exact moment you didn't care about what people would say. the only thing you knew was that bokuto was the man you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

©️ zzztobi 2022 — all rights reserved. please don't repost, translate or copy any of my work.

[yespleasetommyshelby]

Should've just asked - Part 2 - Oscar Diaz

One week, seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds, since he fucked everything up with y/n. Threw it all away because his own insecurities got the better off him, all because he didn't just ask.

He hadn't seen sad eyes since that day either, leaving him alone to stew in his own bubble of self pity. He hadn't left his home since that day, instead opting to send Cesar to the store when something was needed or delegating his Santo's jobs to other members. The bags that y/n and Sad eyes had left behind in the mall sitting against the wall opposite him, mocking him with their bright colours and smiling logos, he'd looked through them as soon as he'd gotten home, each one filled with balloons, banners, anything you would need to through a birthday, even a badge that read 'birthday king' in big bold letters.

Today was his birthday, his 26th, a day where he should've been out in the yard celebrating with one of his famous Santo's parties with the love of his life by his side but instead he was sat in an empty house, bar his younger brother, wallowing in a pit of self pity.

"You still sulking?" Cesar asked as he watched his brother stare at the blank space by his feet, interrupting his pity party.

"Fuck off." He muttered, reaching for the half smoked joint that had been abandoned in the ashtray an hour ago.

"It's been a week Oscar, you can't sit around moping all the time, yeah you fucked up, I get it, but sitting here isn't helping anything." Cesar sighed, this past week he'd seen a side of his older brother that he couldn't remember seeing before, sad and bitchy Spooky was not a pretty sight.

"You don't get shit." Oscar sighed as he lit his joint, breathing in the smoke before exhaling slowly. "I fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me, to us, I lost mi amor Cesar." He mumbled, his eyes filling with tears that he rapidly tried to blink back.

"I know, I know I've never had anything like what you and y/n have, how about we go to the mall? I need some new trainers for school." Cesar asked, watching Oscars face carefully.

"Can't you take your little groupie with you?" Oscar muttered, stubbing out his joint in the ashtray before leaning back and covering his eyes with his arm.

"Please Oscar, it'll help get your mind of shit." Cesar tried again, desperate to get Oscar out of the house and the hole he was currently wallowing in.

"Fine." He sighed, pulling himself up and heading towards the door, missing Cesar pull out his phone and send a quick text.

He's out.

-------

Just down the street y/n grinned as her phone dinged, the text she'd been waiting for finally coming through.

"Hey Sad eyes!" She called into the spare room where he had been staying for the last week, opting to stay and comfort the upset girl rather than spending nights in his own bed.

"What's up?" He asked as he opened the door, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Were you seriously sleeping at 2 in the afternoon?" She asked with an amused smile. "Anyway, Cesar's managed to get Oscar out the house so I'm heading over there now, you coming?" She asked with a smile, excited yet nervous at the thought of seeing Oscar again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, just give me two minutes." The man grumbled before going back into the room.

Yes, y/n was still pissed about how Oscar had acted a week ago, calling her out for being a cheat in the middle of the mall after doing nothing more than planning his birthday. But at the same time the last week had been hell, she'd received multiple texts and missed calls from Oscar, all apologising for that day, for making a fool out of all three of them. No matter how badly he had embarrassed her that day he was still the only thing in her heart, the love of her life and she was determined not to throw it all away, they had fixed every other problem that had arose in their relationship and they was going to fix this too. Which is why her and Sad eyes were currently on their way to the Diaz household, ready to throw him the most surprising surprise party there ever was.

"Alright, you start to put the food out and I'll get started with the decorations." Y/n smiled as she went over to the bags sat against the wall, the same ones that her and Sad eyes had gotten at the mall. "I'm surprised he didn't throw this out." She mused, digging through the bags to find the balloons.

"I've told you, the guys borderline obsessed with you." Sad eyes laughed from the kitchen.

An hour later and everything was set up, banners covered the walls, balloons floated through the house and yard alike while the food and drinks tables looked immaculate, thanks to Ruby's help.

Everything was in full swing, music blasting, drinks in people's hands as she received yet another text that she was waiting for.

2 minutes out.

"Alright! Everyone be quiet, he's just coming!" Y/n yelled, the music being cut and the loud laughter turning to hushed murmurs as her nerves grew knowing Oscar was just about to walk through the doors.

The loud slamming of the front door caught everyone's attention as they stood anxiously waiting for the Santos leader, the faint 'what the fuck is this?' Making her chuckle only being able to imagine how confused Oscar must have looked right then.

"Surprise!" Everyone cheered as Oscar and Cesar appeared at the back door, Cesar sporting a grin as Oscars wide eyes roamed the crowd before landing on y/n.

"You did this?" He asked quietly, not yet making a move as his mind tried to decide whether this was real, if she really was stood right in front of him.

"Well." She smiled bashfully. "I had some help." She shrugged as Sad Eyes came from round the corner with two coronas in his hands.

"Happy birthday Spooky." He smiled, holding a bottle out for Oscar to take, smiling and clinking their bottles together once Oscar took one.

"Aye, listen man, I'm, uh, I'm sorry about hitting you, the other day." Oscar sighed, feeling weird having to apologise for punching someone who was basically his brother.

"No worries Spook." Sad eyes chuckled patting his brother on the shoulder. "Now go get your girl." He smirked, nodding towards y/n who was stood a few feet away talking to Cesar and Jamal.

"Hey, uh, can we talk?" Oscar asked walking up to her and rubbing the back of his neck from the nerves.

"Yeah, sure." She smiled, feeling her heart beating through her chest as she looked up into his eyes.

They were both stood staring at each other before Cesar clearing his throat pulled them out of whatever trance they were in.

"Hey Jamal how about we go find Ruby?" Cesar asked, raising his eyebrows at Jamal who just didn't seem to get the hint.

"What? Why? We see him all the time." The young boy shrugged, oblivious to the scowls he was receiving from the Diaz brothers and the amused look from y/n.

"Beat it." Oscar deadpanned, smirking as Jamal quickly turned and walked away leaving Cesar to follow with a chuckle.

"Was there any need for that?" Y/n giggled as she turned back to Oscar, looking up at him with an amused glint in her eye.

"Kid doesn't know when to take a hint." Oscar shrugged, not seeing the issue in how he spoke to Jamal in the slightest.

"Yeah well, he is Jamal." Y/n shrugged with a laugh. "Anyway, what was it you wanted to say?" She asked remembering why the Santo had come to her in the first place.

"I uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, ya know, for blowing up on you the other day, I know how stupid I was being and I called you out for bullshit you didn't even do." Oscar sighed, his hand that wasn't holding his beer clenching and unclenching at his side as he tried to find the right words. "Just uh, just the thought that you were out with some other cabrón made me see red, I didn't even think to ask, I just wanted to punch whoever it was in the face." He spoke quietly, y/n only just hearing him over the music that had started up again.

"Oscar, you're right, it was stupid." She snorted making Oscars heart drop his eyes going straight to the floor, it was too late. "But." She started, making his eyes flick back up to her immediately. "But I love you Oscar Diaz, I love you so fucking much that this last week has been killing me. I don't know what to do when I'm not with you Oscar, and I don't ever want to have to do that again." She sighed, a lone tear a sliding down her cheek which he quickly reached up to wipe away.

"I love you too mi amor, I know I get jealous and over protective but that's only because I don't want any one taking you away from me, not now, not ever." He mumbled shaking his head slightly before putting his bottle down on the nearest table.

"I know, baby, I know." Y/n smiled, reaching up taking his face in her hands, thumbs rubbing along his jawline gently. "You know if the roles were reversed I would've done much more to any hyna I thought was coming for you." She giggled, already having thrown hands with one before.

"Trust me, I remember, that shit was hot." Oscar chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers slid from his face to going around his neck, opting to rub the bottom of his neck rather than jaw line.

"Now what?" Y/n asked, her eyes flickering between his.

"What do you want?" Oscar asked quietly, not wanting to push her into anything that she didn't want.

"What do I want? I want you Oscar Diaz, I want you everyday for the rest of my life, jealousy and temper included." She laughed as he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Good." Oscar smirked down at her. "Because I ain't never letting you go." He whispered, pulling her towards him, leaning down and planting his lips on hers for the first time in a week.

"I love you Oscar." She mumbled happily, resting her head on his chest as his arms wrapped around her back.

"I love you too mi amor." He smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead and squeezing her tight.

"Also, watching you punch sad eyes in the face really turned me on." She mumbled with a laugh as she felt Oscar tense slightly.

"Is that right?" He chuckled, looking down at her. "Well it's been a week, we best take care of that." He laughed before pulling away and lifting her over his shoulder before heading into the house landing a swift smack to her backside.

"Woo! Spookys gunna get some!" Was heard as he carried her through to the bedroom, both of them laughing as he threw her onto the bed.

"You're so perfect mi Reina." Oscar whispered leaning over her as he stroked a few stray hairs out of her face.

"If anyone's perfect here it's you." Y/n smiled letting her eyes wonder his beautiful features. "Just promise me something." She mumbled after placing a quick peck to his lips.

"Anything." He answered immediately, ready to give anything and everything to make her happy.

"Next time, just ask." She giggled as he rolled his eyes.

"Putá." He mumbled as he leaned down for a slow kiss.

"But you love me anyway." She whispered.

"Always mi amor."

One week without seeing each other.

Seven days without so much as a smile.

168 hours without a kiss.

10080 minutes without an 'I love you'.

604800 seconds without each other.

One surprise party to fix it all.

[eartht137]

DEAREST HEART- Letter One

Okay, For The Better has got me at a standstill. Every time I go to write the next chapter, I get a very "bad" idea and I have to write it in to meld with what I have in mind, but as my birthday is approaching in 2 days and Halloween is quickly approaching, I have developed a very new and delicious idea. I thought up this story in the shower. Hear me out, okay? The blinds that cover the window in my bathroom fell, and I mean fell from the wall, so I had to take a shower in the dark with a candle. Well it gets pretty muggy in my bathroom, as there's not a lot of room, so I opened the window to get some air, well with the wind blowing and the leaves rustling I kinda got that weird feeling that someone was watching me (which I highly doubt). In this story the character/you are a new wife and mom and you've been unmotivated to do normal chores and upkeep due to de pression and anxiety. I kinda wanted to touch on some real topics that I felt may resonate as I've noticed there is a lot of depression and anxieties that have been major high and I just wanted to send a small message that you are seen, you are heard, you are worthy, you are loved. Even if it is in your own world, I'd rather have my own world that I can escape to and have things go my way than keep taking on the pressure of things we deal with everyday. Also this is another Dark Clark Kent. I know, I know, the idea of the man just does something to me. So with that curvies, I present to you Dearest Heart. Okay rant over for the day. Please proceed..........oh yeah MMMMMMmwwwwwwaaahhhhhhh

Dark Clark Kent x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Non Con, somnophilia, masturbation, stalking, mentions of impregnation. Maybe other things too. MINORS DNI!!!

You were getting up and ready for work, since starting your new job, you'd found yourself a bit out of balance. Being a new wife and mom, trying to adjust, you'd found yourself falling in and out of a reel of depression and anxiety. You very rarely had the energy or drive to clean and sometimes your depression got you to a point where you didn't really want to keep up your hygiene. Finally, you'd gotten the burst of life you needed and decided to make use of it while you had the drive. You started keeping up your hygiene as you used to and cleaned your house day by day. You started cherishing more moments with your husband and son. You had noticed the more you took effort within the day, it helped you feel a bit better everyday. One day, you stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air and sunlight. As you were getting ready to head back inside, you saw a letter place neatly on the bars of you security door with small rose. You tilted you head in confusion and looked around. You took the letter, seeing that it had "Dearest Heart' written beautifully across the front. You walked inside while admiring the vintage parchment envelope.

"Baby?" Your husband asked curiously, making you look up and smile as he and your son watched you.

"Well I think the mailman left someone else's mail-again." You sighed tossing the letter down on the table by your door. You went over and spent the remainder of you free time with your husband and son before heading into your office and logging on for work.

On your first break, you rushed out of your office hoping to spend time with your loved ones. You giggled as you watched your husband and son sleep with their mouths wide open on your couch. You were about to step into the bathroom when you got the nagging urge to go back and look at the letter again. You stared at it from across the room a moment before finally giving in to curiosity and grabbing it. You studied it for a moment before your husband adjusting on the couch startled you. You quietly went to the bathroom and examined the letter. Looking at your phone, you realized you didn't have much time, and would just open it to see what it looked like inside. A very hopeful side of you prayed that in your head that it was filled with cash that some good saint just felt in their heart to give, but you knew that was a slim chance. When you opened the letter, you almost gasped, almost like a child feeling as if you if you'd just done something forbidden. The alarm on you phone vibrated and you jumped, the letter dropped from you hands. You laughed a bit at yourself, picked up the letter, tucked it away and went back to work.

One your lunch break, after making something to eat for yourself and your hungry boys, you found yourself practically lured back to the bathroom to find the letter you'd tucked away for later. You opened it and pulled out a very beautifully written letter, but the first line damn near made your heart stop. You read it over and over trying to make sure you weren't seeing things, but there it was in black in, your name. You took a deep breath and continued reading the letter.

My Dearest Y/n,

I promised myself I wouldn't try to interfere in your life, but my heart won't let my stand idly by. I know this is abrupt as you've never seen me in your life, at least you don't remember meeting me, its been so long ago; but I can't keep quiet about this anymore as my love for you has yet to subside. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I swore I'd never lie to you and I am a man of my word. You might be a little worried as to how I know you, where you live-but you'd be shocked at how much I know about you and it'd scare you to know how long I've watched over you. Little love, I've been a bit disappointed in you. You allowed yourself to get to far down and instead of talking it out, you've been bottling everything in. We both know how that ends. You can talk to me if you need to, but I was really disappointed in how you allowed things to get. You weren't getting out of bed, you weren't keeping your hygiene up, and you weren't keeping the house up; on top of that, you haven't been utilizing any of your self-care tools. You didn't leave the house for a month and you cried every night by yourself because you're too stubborn to get out of your own head for two seconds and let the people who love you in. You were also finding a new lie every week to call into to work, that was disappointing darling because you don't have to lie, just tell them you need a day for your health, you don't owe them anymore explanation than that, but I don't want you to lie again. Do you remember those 2 weeks your backside was sore and stinging and you couldn't figure out why? I'm so sorry dear heart but I had to light a fire in you some way, and I just can't allow you to behave in such a way. I also can't stand to see the woman I love not take care of herself. On another note, I do want to tell you how proud of you I have been with how much you love and care for our son. He's growing so big isn't he? Oh darling, I know you think he's your husbands, but I guarantee he is my flesh and blood, why do you think he stares at me so long when he sees my photo pass your screen. His blood is my blood, he knows who he is. I have decided dear heart, to be a bit more active in your life as I have come to realize that my standing by protecting in the shadows is not enough. It will be awhile my love, but one day we will be together. You, Me and our son. I love you both so much, I promise you we will be a family as we should one day. For now I will continue to watch from the distance and protect you when you need me. I will also be there to talk whenever you just want to talk out loud. Before I end this letter, I want to also tell you how proud I am that you've started writing. I love the stories you've been writing about me and I promise to fulfill every one of you desires as soon as the time is right. Only this time, you'll be able to enjoy it as much as I have. I will be writing again, you don't have to reply, but it would be nice. Keep up the good work sweetheart, I love you.

With All My Heart and Soul,

Kal-El

Your heart pounded in your ears, you forgot to breath and tears filled your eyes. You kept trying to convince yourself it was a prank, but the more you tried to deny it, the more you knew it was real. You sat thinking to yourself, when you'd written a story about him, you didn't know anyone named Kal-El. You immediately started walking around your house making sure every window and door was locked. You wanted to tell your husband, but once again the gut feeling told you not to, and you'd realized that your gut was really on point and that just made things scarier.

You finished you lunch break and the rest of that day unable to concentrate on anything. That night while you took a shower, you kept looking through the blinds to see if you'd see someone. On one had you wanted to see if there was someone really there and on the other you felt you'd probably shit yourself if you really saw someone. After a moment or two, you'd finally convinced yourself it was a sick prank and someone in the neighborhood was being an idiot. You laughed a bit and finished up, ready to finally get the sleep you'd been begging for all day. As you laid in bed, every noise made you jump. Every time something or someone would move, you'd go from the precipice of sleep to fully awake. You had been feeling watched for the longest time and you'd just blamed it on being crazy, but now with the letter confirming your nightmare, you really had no idea what to do. Your mind ran and ran until it finally shut itself down and you drifted off to a very peaceful sleep despite everything going on around you.

He sat in the corner of your dark room watching you breath calmly. He wanted so badly to go over and rock you to sleep as he watched you struggle to fall asleep, but he couldn't present himself to you just yet, not until everything was perfect the way we wanted it before he showed himself.

He sat there watching you from the other side of the room knowing that soon you'd throw the covers off of your plush body exposing your luscious curves that he loved feeling in his large hands. His hand stroked himself as he thought back to the first night he took you. You were sleeping so good, you didn't hardly move. His released his hard thick cock from their restraints and pumped himself as he watched your breasts rise and fall with your breathing. He thought back to the first time he tasted your nipples, how hard they got when he kissed and nipped them. How wet you got for him and how he once made you cum from playing with them only. He then thought about how delicious you were. His fist moving faster and rougher down his shaft. He remembered how tight you were when he first fucked you. How hot and juicy you were as he pumped deep into your soft pussy filling you with every inch of him. He wanted to ruin you, and he wished you could see the happiness he felt when you couldn't cum one night from yours or your husbands touches. His hand pumped faster as he remembered fucking you so good one night your orgasm woke you as you came, as disappointed as he was that he couldn't feel you cum around him, he was still proud to have your body so responsive for him. That sent him over the edge and he came hard wanting so badly to empty inside of you. He wanted to see you round with his baby again, but he wanted to allow you the time to fully heal. He used one of your husbands shirts to wipe himself clean, and he gave you a soft peck on the lips, smiling when you turned away.

"I love you so much. I promise things will be right soon. Sleep well dearest heart." He whispered before leaving. He couldn't wait until you found his next letter.

[t0shii]

% pretty hands

.! timeskip! tsukishima, kageyama (sep) x gn!r

.! fluff, not proofread, mention of food in tobio's

.! this is like a pt 2 to my other "pretty hands" post, check that one out also!

tsukishima

it was common for you to sit or lay in tsukishima's lap while he read aloud for you. originally, he wasn't fond of reading out loud for you. he thought it was weird and awkward but one night when you just couldn't sleep, you'd asked him and he agreed, saying "if it'll help you sleep.... i guess so."

tonight was one of those nights, it was storming horribly and try as you might, you just couldn't sleep. tsukishima had grown irritated at your tossing and turning, "turn the lamp on, i'll get my book." you're not sure if you should be happy he's going to read to you or upset he's only doing so to stop you annoying movements, nonetheless the do as told, the now lit lamp beside your side of the bed just barely illuminates your room and you look to your boyfriend for further instructions. "c'mon then." he holds and arm out for you to climb under and you do just that, your own arms clinging to a penguin plush he'd gotten you at an aquarium a year ago.

he'd been reading for ten minutes and you still weren't budging. he pauses and takes a breath, "you sleepy yet?" you look away shyly, your answer barely audible "...no" he frowns at this, "i'll finish this chapter then find a different book." he mumbles, adjusting his glasses. truthfully, you hadn't been paying attention to the book at all, instead, your mind (and gaze) wandered to his hands instead, they were so pretty. pale and slender, worn-down baby blue nail polish on this nicely trimmed nails from where he'd let you, to your surprise, paint his nails one night many weeks ago and a dainty blue and white bead bracelet with your initials you'd made for him adorning his wrist, to which you had the match of with his initials instead.

he begins reading again but you can't stop looking at his hand- "so as he- what are you doing?" he looks at you confused as you take his free hand in yours, " kei, did you know you have really pretty hands?" you look up at him, "well... no? no one's ever told me that." his cheeks dust a light pink as you continue to inspect his hand, "well you do. they're so soft too, and way bigger than mine, look." you press the palm of your hand against his. of course he already knew his hands were bigger than yours, it didn't take much to notice the difference. you play with and compliment his hands for well over twenty minutes until your eyelids get droopy and eventually, you fall asleep. all this time, tsukishima never knew he had such pretty hands.

kageyama

it was routine that every tuesday evening you and kageyama had a little self-care night. face masks while taking a bubble bath together, movies, and of course take out from your favorite restaurant.

bubble baths were reserved for any thoughts or concerns the two of you needed vent out and the other would comfort you accordingly so. one thing to note about kageyama is that he's a hand talker not only this but his hands are beautiful (a compliment he's received from you many times before) as your boyfriend rants on about how his coach was making him sit out of a match they were having in a few days because his wrist was feeling off, he flicks some soap in your eye. really, you hadn't meant to be so dramatic with your, "AH tobio, be careful!" and you almost felt bad as he curses at himself. "oh shit, baby i'm sorry." he blows gentle, cool air onto your eye, "is it better?" after making sure his hands were free of soap, he gently rubs his thumb over your eye, "no, it stings really bad, tobi." you pout.

even with only one eye open, you can't help admiring your boyfriends hands. how nicely trimmed his nails were with a silver band around his ring finger that you'd gotten him for his birthday almost a year ago that he refused to take off, a mole on his wrist (which he hates) and a freckle in the shape of a heart right beside it. his hands were just pretty, they weren't too large but definitely not small. you take his hand in your own two, removing from your eye, "why are you wearing your ring in the bath?" you furrow your eyebrows at him, "uhh i never take it off. only for volleyball because coach yells at me if i don't." "oh."

you inspect his hand, fidgeting with his fingers and he lets you. "you trim your nails earlier?" "mhm" "i can tell. where'd this bruise come from?" "bumped it on the corner of the dining table." "ah. did i ever tell you that-" "yes, you've told me my hands are pretty. almost everyday, actually." you giggle at him, "that often huh?" "yep." "well, i mean it every time." you mumble, kissing his knuckles, "i know you do." he retracts his hand from yours, hooking a finger under your chin to force your face up, "you're eye looks better."