#after doing some googling i’m gonna need a particular scene that should hopefully be in pt 2

[sparklyseblos]

rina 🤝 polin

slow burn friends to lovers she falls first he falls harder

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Ten

chapter nine - Chapter Ten: Heroes - chapter eleven

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky make one final effort to stop the Flag Smashers.

Warnings: spoilers for episode.6, violence, character death (major), wounds, blood, ANGST ANGST ANGST, Bucky and Y/n are a badass couple, Sam and Y/n are a badass sibling duo, everybody’s a badass, inaccurate medical care (unless you consider google legit then it’s for real lol)

Word Count: 8.6k

A/N: GUYS. SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER. HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?! This one was challenging to write because I wanted to still make it mainly focus on Sam and not detract from his story while incorporating another one, hopefully I did it justice. Smaller amount of Bucky Y/n fluff purely because of plot. Imma shut up now and let you guys judge it for yourselves, hopefully you enjoy ☺️

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I’d always wanted to visit New York, I just never thought that the circumstances in which I’d come would be so dire.

Surprisingly, flying from Delacroix to the city hadn’t been as draining as I’d thought, the adrenaline rushing through me was enough to keep my stamina up. Once I got into the state I shot up higher, the only way to pinpoint the city’s location was by sight alone. The mass of flashing red, white and blue lights served as a literal guiding light and I followed it till my feet made contact with the ground. I landed in between two buildings, a safe distance away from the commotion but close enough that I could intervene if needed. Sam had told me to go ahead of him and meet up with Bucky, the two of us would be on the ground while Sam took care of business with the senators. “Something’s different…” the voice I’d gone days without hearing announced from behind me, “New haircut?” I smirked and turned to face Bucky, “Do you get bulletproof suits for all the girls that catch your eye?” “Only the ones I really like,” he smiled, cradling my cheek in his hand and giving me an overdue kiss before pulling back to admire the suit, “Looks good on you.” The suit that Bucky had the Wakandans design for me was made almost entirely of Vibranium. It was sapphire blue, the same color of my energy with accent lines of silver running through it to define the shape. It clung tight to my body without showing off too much, the v neckline ended just below my collarbone. Hidden behind Bucky’s note in the case had also been a note from Shuri, the princess of Wakanda, listing that the suit was bullet proof and should I choose to channel my energy through a specific part of my body, the Vibranium would absorb and redistribute it to amplify my strike. The whole ensemble made me feel an official member of whatever club I’d decided to join.

I opened my fingerless glove adorned palm out to Bucky, offering him one of the comms Sam had given me and placing the other in my ear. “Ready?” he asked.

For once, I could answer feeling fully confidant in my capabilities. I reached out and squeezed Bucky’s hand, giving a single nod, “Ready.”

The two of us made our way out from between the buildings and headed into the heart of the chaos. There were news crews, police officers, soldiers and SWAT teams while innocent bystanders quickly fled the scene. 

“Sam, where you at?” I said into my comm.

“I’m almost there,” he replied.

“What’s the plan?” Bucky asked from beside me.

“Karli’s gotta be close, keep your eyes open.” “Well, it could be anybody…” Bucky said quietly as we passed by a group of officers.

We headed for the building in which the senators were being held, the SWAT team immediately parting to allow Sergeant Barnes and myself to enter. Whether or not he was paying attention to anything other than finding Karli, I wasn’t sure, but I smiled internally at the fact that they’d recognized him for what he should have been recognized for all this time.

“Oh, we also called in some backup,” I relayed to Bucky.

“Excuse me, sir, ma’am,” we turned to see a man in a beanie following us, “Are you supposed to be here?” Bucky looked stunned and slightly concerned while I stayed calm, recognizing the signal. Immediately, Sharon ripped off the technologically advanced mask that concealed her identity. “It’s me.” “Sharon, what the hell are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

I gestured to the woman, “Backing us up…” “Relax, no one’s looking for me here,” she said, pulling on Bucky’s arm in an effort to get us away from the crowd. “Is that Sharon?” Sam asked over the comms.

“Unfortunately,” Bucky answered, earning a light, disapproving smack from me to his chest.

“Hey, Sam, I thought I’d get the band back together,” Sharon said into her earpiece.

“Thank you, you’re risking a lot coming here.” I took a step forward towards the blonde, “If you want me to fly you out of here, now’s the time.”

She gave a little shrug, “I hear pardons aren’t all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”

“Depends on the therapist,” Bucky grumbled.

“They’re gonna move on the building soon. Be ready,” Sam’s voice flowed into my ear.

“Same goes for you,” I replied, trying to compartmentalize the constant anxiety that ran through me in regards to my brother’s safety. Though knowing he wore vibranium wings now did help ease my fears a little. I turned my attention back to Sharon and Bucky, “Let’s split up and do a perimeter check. Front’s clear so I’ll take the back, you two take the sides.” “Wow,” Sharon smirked, “Give you a suit and suddenly you’re Miss Take Charge.” I shot her smirk right back at her as she headed down her side of the building while Bucky and I went around the other way. “Somethin’ changed while I was gone,” he observed as we walked. “You made amends,” I replied, flashing back to my visit to the graveyard, “I made peace.” I expelled energy from my fingertips to float above him and fly to the back of the building, not a soul in sight.

“Y/n, Sharon, Bucky, what’s going on on your end?” Sam asked.

“Nothing, all quiet,” Bucky answered. “Same here,” I said, taking another look around me to be sure,

“No one’s moving toward the building,” Sharon added. 

“Karli’s not coming in. She’s trying to force everybody out,” Sam said, “It’s a misdirect, we gotta keep everybody inside.” 

I levitated once again and headed to the front of the building, finding Bucky and Sharon waiting for me. Once I landed, we entered through the glass doors. “You guys are gonna have to do something,” Sam panted through the comm, “Don’t let ‘em out of the building.”

We passed through the building’s metal detectors one by one with no issue, till the alarm sounded off on Sharon. “Oops,” she muttered unconvincingly. “Here’s one of them,” Bucky said, gesturing towards a man in a security uniform, a Flag Smasher, “We’ll get the evac.” Bucky and I winded around the halls but didn’t get far before a woman came walking towards us with a phone extended out in her palm, “Mr. Barnes, Miss. Y/l/n, it’s Karli.” How she knew my name baffled me, Bucky reached for the phone regardless and took note of the orange handprint projected on the screen. He placed the call on speaker, “Karli?”

“Aren’t you two tired of fighting for the wrong side?” the young girl asked.

Bucky scoffed as we stepped down a staircase, “I’ve done this before, kid. I know how it ends.”

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t survive this,” she replied, “I’m fighting for something bigger than myself. With all the bodies you’ve collected, have you been able to say the same?”

“You don’t think I ever fought for something bigger than myself?” Bucky asked, “That’s all I ever tried to do. And I failed twice.” I tugged Bucky’s arm so the phone was in front of me, “Karli, all I’ve ever wanted was to use my powers for good. I respect the fight you’re fighting but this isn’t the way to win it.” “Believe me, I know all about your father’s crimes,” she spoke back, “I looked you up after meeting you in Riga, and trust me, the side you’re on is no better than the one your dad was one.” My heart clenched at her words, I knew that she was a black and white person who only dealt in absolutes, but it didn’t mean hearing it didn’t hurt. “If you wanted to do any real good, you’d have joined us,” Karli continued, “You’d have needed to get your hands dirty, but you’d have made an actual difference.” “You think your cause justifies all this death,” Bucky stepped in and took the wheel, “But in the end, the nightmares won’t go away. You’re gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don’t do this. Don’t go down this path.”

There was a hopeful pause over the line, followed by a disappointing response. “If that’s how the both of you feel, you should sit this one out.” I glanced over at Bucky, sharing the same tired, yet determined look I was displaying. “That’s not gonna happen.” “Well, thank you,” Karlie replied, “I’m glad you took my call, you’ve been a big help.” She hung up then, the realization hitting me immediately as to why she’d called us. “The evac,” I breathed, “It was a deterrence.”

“Damn it,” Bucky growled with a clenched jaw, “Come on!”

We raced through across the floor of the building, making for the winding staircase lit up with flashing emergency lights that would lead us to the parking lot. Since we were the only two fleeing the building that particular way, it was a safe bet to make that the hostages had already been evacuated. Once we were in the parking lot, Bucky took the lead and led me to a parked row of motorcycles, quickly hot-wiring one.

“Seriously, guys, you had one job,” Sharon popped out from behind a pillar to critique us.

“You worry about your guy,” Bucky grumbled as he swung his leg over to straddle the vehicle, I promptly did the same, “Good?” Locking my arms around his torso and scooching forward so my Vibranium chest was pressed against his back, I nodded. “Good.” Bucky floored the gas pedal and we rode off with an echoing screech, finding our way through the garage’s exit. A blockade of soldiers yelled at us as we quickly approached them, shooting through the gap between barriers and whipping around the street corner. On any other occasion I’d have enjoyed clinging tight to Bucky’s body as we rode through the cool New York evening air. Sadly, there was no time to savor the moment.

“That’s one down,” Sharon’s voice came through my comm. “How’d you manage that?” Sam joined in. “Mercury vapor, amongst other things.” Bucky made a sharp turn down one of the streets causing me to clutch his middle tighter, “Any idea where they’ll be headed?” “I thought you were the one in charge,” Bucky retorted over the engine’s noise. “You better speed things up, Sam,” Sharon said, “The chopper’s about to take off.” “Bucky, Y/n,” Sam called, grunts following directly after. Bucky halted at a light, determining the rest of our course. “I don’t fly, man, that’s your guys’ thing.” He revved the bike and turned down a different street.

I pressed a hand to my ear, “Meet you there.” Placing a reassuring hand on Bucky’s shoulder, I levitated off the motorcycle and watched him continue on his path while I turned in the opposite direction and headed back through the city. From across the way, I could see the silhouette of Sam’s wings as he jumped off of the building after the helicopter. The chopper had taken a nose dive and was headed for the street, pulling up just before it hit the overpass. I quickened the speed in which I was flying over the bay, catching up to Sam soon enough. He flew lower than me, his new wings dipping into the waters before he shot back up.

“Plan?” I called into the comms as I kept close to the rear of the chopper. “We gotta take out the pilot,” Sam answered, “Take the left side.” I flew to my designated spot and reached out a hand to grasp onto one of the bars of the plane. Reabsorbing my energy, I put full faith in my grip as I dangled off of the helicopter in mid flight. I poked my head out to the window on the pilot’s side only to be given a front row seat to his attempt to kill Sam, firing a machine gun till my brother was forced to pull back and off the chopper. The pilot whipped his head around to lay eyes on me, aiming his gun. Lightning fast, I let go of the bar and narrowly escaped the shots fired, throwing my hands out and expelling energy to resume my flight. Sam wasn’t far behind, we took off in tandem with one another with him sending Redwing ahead to see if any of the hostages had flight training. As the chopper plunged towards the water, we moved in synch with it, just a few hundred feet behind in a dance of sorts. In the distance, I could barely make out the shape of an almost identical vehicle headed towards the one we were tailing, this one bearing the logo of the NYPD. Our chopper rammed itself into the front of the police copter, sending it spinning in a spiral of smoke and fire. If we didn’t get there in time, it would crash into one of the skyscrapers or worse. Sam and I changed course and made a beeline for it. “Get the co-pilot,” Sam yelled as he swerved to my left. 

I flew up to the side window and shot an energy blast towards it, smashing the glass and startling the co-pilot. I then levitated him out of the chopper and flew the two of us down to the bridge below us, Sam was right behind me with the pilot. The plane was losing altitude fast and was headed straight for our rescue party. Before I could even think to build a force field, Sam shoved me and the pilots down and shielded us with his wings. I felt the Vibranium shake as the plane bounced off of us and over the edge of the bridge. Sam retracted his wings and the two of us rose to our full heights, him in all his red, white and blue glory.

“Go, I got this,” he instructed, taking off into the skies before I could put up a fight. 

I levitated high above the bridge to get a birds eye view of the city, “Bucky, where are you?”

“42nd Street, heading west,” he answered

“I’m a tourist, those words mean nothing to me.”

“I’m passing a building with white and red lights,” he modified his answer. My eyes searched for the building he was talking about, spotting it quickly and taking off toward it. I looked below me to see two humvees and multiple bodies running around them. “Found them, they’re trying to build a-“ “I see ‘em, coming in hot,” Bucky interrupted, I could see his motorcycle speeding down the street and toward the barricade the Flag Smashers had arranged. Taking a leap, or rather a fall of faith, I absorbed my energy and free fell, throwing my hands out and releasing it just before my feet hit the ground. Bucky wasn’t far behind, leaping off his motorcycle and diving forward to tackle one of the Flag Smashers. The man jumped to his feet and Bucky engaged him in combat, the two exchanging punches with Bucky having more favor. In a split second of separation between the two I shot a blast of energy at the man that sent him flying backwards into the side of a truck, creating a super soldier shaped dent in the car. A sudden explosion sounded off nearby, I turned to see that one of the humvees had been set ablaze. Bucky and I ran to the vehicle, I sent an energy blast towards the high tech lock that had been placed on the back doors. It did absolutely nothing.

“Hold on,” Bucky shouted to the screaming hostages as he used his Vibranium arm to pull on the door handle. Even he couldn’t get it open. “Help me!”

I focused all my energy on the lock, sending unsuccessful blast after unsuccessful blast. Letting out a frustrated cry, I backed away giving Bucky another chance to try. He began throwing a stream of relentless punches, his determination growing with each hit. Eventually he’d done enough damage that he switched to pulling at the door’s bar. The pain on his face as he pulled was heartbreaking, the tendons and muscles where his prosthetic met his flesh stretching to too great a length. Making one last ditch effort, I extended my energy towards the handle to help him in his efforts. Together, we strained and struggled until the lock finally broke and the doors opened. While Bucky kept his footing, I fell backwards doing a very ungraceful somersault and landed on my side. What I saw happening in front of me was almost too shocking to believe, and yet not at all. 

John Walker was getting his ass kicked by the Flag Smashers. 

With a replica of the iconic shield that was definitely not made of Vibranium and his suit, he was lying on the ground being pummeled by the super soldiers. With the vigor in which they were attacking him, I knew that the metal wouldn’t protect him forever. The man that I hated, who had tried to kill me, Sam and Bucky, who had shed innocent blood on Steve’s legacy…I could have let them kill him and I should have wanted to.

But even in my hatred, I couldn’t let a man die.

I rose to my feet and sent a stream of energy towards two of them, knocking them a few feet away from Walker. The third who I deduced to be Karli, came charging at me. I threw up a force field to act as a shield and met each one of her punches with the energy. She let out grunts of frustration, going for a roundhouse kick but giving me just enough time to drop the field and levitate her into the air. I held her there a second, watching her flail about trying to escape before tossing her several hundred feet away from us towards the end of the street. The two Flag Smashers that I’d knocked over came charging back toward me, it was time to test out just what the suit could do…

I focused my energy out through my elbow and hit one of them square in the jaw, the energy sending him rolling down the road far greater a distance that I’d have been able to cause without the Vibranium amplifying it. I turned around to the other one, dodging a quick punch before sending my energy down to my foot, landing a kick my attacker’s stomach that caused him to go airborne and land on top of one of the trucks. Unfortunately, the first guy didn’t stay down as long as I needed him to and came up from behind me and landed a kick to my back. I fell to the road with a groan, felt the burn of the asphalt as it shredded my cheek. I heard the man rip something metal followed by the sound of his thick boots coming my way, undoubtably he’d grabbed something to use as a weapon. As I rose to take another stand, I saw Bucky come running past me and turned to watch him knock the Flag Smasher over, the man dropping the toll meter he’d been holding as a bat over me. Bucky strode forward and they began fighting one another with punches and kicks while I looked around to see Karli welding the unattended meter. She swung it towards Bucky, his avoidance of the hit and my creation of a force field around him totally in synch. Karli took another swing at him and met resistance, unable to move the weapon as I froze it in place with my energy.

“You don’t have to do this,” I urged her.

With a yell she let go of the weapon and dove for me, being hit in the face with a chain that Bucky had picked up. Before I could stop it, the Flag Smasher who had originally intended to hit me with the toll meter landed a kick that sent Bucky flying backwards. His metal hand scraping the asphalt as he desperately tried to hold on before going over the edge of the nearby construction site. “BUCKY!” I cried as he screamed into the night air just before Karli kicked me down herself, and landed a punch to my abdomen. The Vibranium, while giving me protection, still allowed some of the blow to reach me and I was in just enough pain that I couldn’t go after the Flag Smasher that leapt down into the construction hole Bucky had landed in. I sent a blast of energy at Karli, throwing her back and allowing me the time to stand up and regain my footing. At the same time I rose, so did Walker, the two of us sharing eye contact that was oceans away from the last time we’d met on the battlefield. Separating once again, he turned to lift one of the Flag Smashers up by her throat while I landed a punch on one that was coming for me. The second van of hostages was brimming with horrified screams, both my and Walker’s attention being redirected to them. Karli, who stood a few feet away from us, made a run for the humvee and Walker and I chased after her. Walker braced himself with the shield and the two of them came face to face with one another. Giving another insignificant try, I sent a stream of energy towards the lock in an attempt to break it but couldn’t without Bucky’s brute strength. Behind me, I could hear the grunts and groans of Walker and Karli moving around as they fought one another. When the noises got too distant to still be close by, I knew I needed to go back Walker up.

I looked through the everything-proof glass window to the terrified faces of the senators. “We’ll get you out, I promise,” I yelled, taking off towards the fight. 

Karli came running out from where they’d disappeared behind, I sent another blast her way that she dodged. She leapt into the air with a cry and raised a fist, I threw up a force field that she bounced off of and rolled to the ground. “This isn’t change, Karli,” I spoke up over the noise of the fire, “It’s murder.” The only response I got was another yell, Karli came charging towards me forcing me to throw up another shield to deflect her punches and kicks. I didn’t want to hurt her, I didn’t even want to fight her. It was different than with Walker where there was a mutual disliking of one another since almost the very beginning, she was just a kid looking to fight anyone who got in her way. Her cause was even something I agreed with, but I couldn’t stand by her taking innocent lives in the process.

Karli caught my exposed neck, gripping my neck tightly and holding me in the air. The bruises from Walker’s assault hadn’t fully healed and Karli was squeezing far tighter than he had. Thinking quickly, I swung my legs around to the back of her knees and forced my energy out of my feet as I slammed into her legs. The two of us fell in a heap, Karli on top of me with her grip loose enough on my throat that I could get out of it and flip her over. I pinned her hands to the asphalt on either side of her head using my energy, “You can stop all of this right now,” I urged over her furious cries, “Karli, please.”

Karli snarled at me before moving her knees to hit me in my back, throwing me off balance and giving her the perfect opportunity to launch me down the same hole Bucky had fallen down. I caught myself mid air and looked down to see Bucky and one of the Flag Smashers fighting with a metal beam, Bucky gaining the upper hand. I dropped to the ground and ran to him as he landed a final strike against the man, knocking him to the ground. As my hand reached out for his arm, there was a violent crash above us. We looked up to see that the humvee filled with the hostages had been driven off the road and was balancing on top of the construction. It teetered on the edge, ready to slip at any moment and finish Karli’s plan. I extended my energy to steady the vehicle, I wasn’t sure what made me think I could keep a couple thousand pound vehicle suspended in midair but the fact that I’d never used my powers like this didn’t matter. I had to try. As it rocked back and forth against my energy, I took a stance and dug my heels in the ground, sending up the steady streams I’d recently discovered I could produce. They curved around the front of the vehicle, protecting it from falling any further. The screams of terror from the hostages were my motivation to keep going, to do everything in my power that I could do save who I could.

After a few seconds of bearing my teeth and groaning in struggle, the load lessened slightly. I opened one of my eyes that had been squeezed shut in concentration to see Walker’s homemade shield near my feet, the decommissioned captain above me pulling the truck from the back. For once, we were working as a cohesive unit. Who would have thought…

All was short lived though as the second we were making progress on getting the humvee away from the edge, Karli and two other Flag Smashers jumped Walker and attacked him. Unable to hold them off, they toppled over and fell into the pit alongside Bucky and I. I cried out as the full weight of the humvee became mine to bear once again, fighting harder than ever to keep it from falling. Every muscle in my body clenched as I kept the streams flowing while also slowly rising off the ground, wondering if it was possible for my body to run out of energy with how much I was throwing into my stand. I had to save them, so long as I was able to fight, I wouldn’t allow any more innocent bloodshed. My hands shook, causing my streams to shake and I groaned as my body sent every signal that it couldn’t continue on.

As I started to falter, I felt something come up beside me and some of the heaviness was taken away. Looking to my left, Sam was in the air bracing the weight of the truck alongside me. I felt renewed with his help to rise with him as we used our combined strength to steadily raise the humvee back onto the beams of the construction site. Once it was secured, Sam and I both landed on either side of the truck and faced the crowd. I made the easy decision to fly back down into the pit, the moment belonged to Sam and no one else. Bucky was at my side at once, his hands on my arms and a careful set of eyes watching to make sure I was okay. I rested my forehead on his shoulder for a too brief second and nodded through my heavy breathing. 

From in front of us, Karli launched a spear towards Bucky’s head that he easily got throwing it to the side as he stared her down. Sam’s shield came flying out of nowhere, hitting Karli and rebounding off of the other Flag Smasher before landing back on Sam’s wrist. Karli shed her mask, looking at him with disgust and shock. “You of all people bought into that bullshit?” she asked, examining his patriotic suit from a distance.

“I’m trying something different,” Sam answered, his voice steely, “Maybe you should do the same.”

A sudden explosion was set off, a grenade landing at our feet setting off smoke that blinded us. I quickly covered Sam, Walker, Bucky and myself in a large force field, as my eyes tried to make out Karli’s figure. “This way,” Sam directed, using the tech in his goggles to spot them. I dropped the shield and followed him, the only person I could make out semi-clearly in the haze. We ran down and through a nearby tunnel, weaving down underground hallways in search of the remainders of the group. “Hey Sharon,” Bucky said into his comm, “We’re underground. We entered the tunnel on William. Heading south.”

“Looks like they split up,” Sam announced, he pointed down a corridor, “Here.” Walker took off without a second thought, while Bucky paused in front of Sam and I. “I got it,” he pointed to my brother, brushing his fingers against mine before heading down the hall. Sam and I both watched them leave, my anxiety rising with each step Bucky took away from me. Shaking myself out of the spiral I knew I’d go down if I gave it any more thought, I followed Sam’s lead as we continued on our way. The sound of the Flag Smasher’s signature whistle echoed off the walls causing Sam and I to freeze, he determined where it may have come from and motioned for me to come forward. 

“If something happens, you get the hell out of here, got it?” Sam whispered. “Nice try,” I replied, having flashbacks to the various times in the past week or so that we’d had conversations like this, “I’m not leaving you.” Suddenly, two shots were fired nearby. Sam and I bolted in the general direction that the sound had come from, fear flooding my body at the thought of Bucky being on the receiving end of one of the bullets. The worry caused me to run faster. We made it into a wider room, Karli standing in the middle with a gun aimed at a helpless Sharon, laying on the ground with a hand over her abdomen. I spotted the blood staining her shirt and threw a force field around her as Sam clipped his shield to his back. “Sam, stay back,” Karli warned, her eyes flicking to him briefly before landing back on Sharon.

“So, what’s next, huh?” Sam asked, taking careful steps toward her, “You kill ten this time, then, what, a hundred? Where does it end? Please,” he lowered his tone, “Let me help you.” “Don’t try and manipulate me,” Karli replied, looking between the blue barrier I shielded Sharon with and me. She twisted her body to aimed her gun at me, my resolve to protect Sharon stronger than protecting myself. 

“Karli, don’t!” Sharon cried.

Sam dove forward and tackled the girl to the floor, somersaulting away from her as Karli raised a piece of cinderblock. She launched it at Sam who deflected the makeshift weapon with his shield. Karli swung at him and Sam jumped on top of a small staircase, his shield in front of him at all times. “I’m not gonna fight you!” he yelled, leaping off the stairs. 

Karli continued her attack, Sam dug the tips of his wings into the concrete and met her fist with the shield. “Karli…” he urged just before she ripped the shield away and walked him backwards, Sam completing a series of jumps and flips. Karli grabbed a metal pipe and swung it at Sam, knocking him to the ground. “Stay down!” she growled.

Every instinct I had told me to go after the person who was endangering Sam’s life, anybody’s would be. But I knew that it was pointless to fight her, it was only giving her what she wanted. The serum enhanced people’s personalities, Karli had always been a fighter but now, she was looking to fight anything and anyone and would do it ruthlessly. I couldn’t buy into it.

I retracted the shield I’d built around Sharon and flew around Karli, placing myself between her and Sam. “Karli, the fight is over,” I breathed. 

“No!” she shrieked, barely giving me enough time to throw up an energy shield before she threw a punch. Her fist bouncing off of it only angered her more and she began a relentless attack, banging her hands against the force field, taking swipes anywhere she could. I levitated over her head and landed a few feet away, luring her away from Sam. Karli was furious at the fact that she couldn’t touch me or get me to try and battle her. It didn’t take long for Sam to spring to his feet, throwing his shield out in between Karli and I. Karli focused her efforts on Sam then, punching the shield relentlessly as Sam walked her away from me. “Fight back!” she screamed in my brother’s face.

I extended my energy and pulled her away from Sam, throwing her a few feet away from us. Karli let out a battle cry and leapt forward, Sam and I coming side by side and holding up our respective shields. Karli’s fist rebounded off of my energy and spun around to hit Sam’s shield, he then grabbed her by the waist and turned on his thrusters, flying them across to room to slam Karli into a beam. “Stop it,” he ordered, gripping her by the lapels of her jacket. Karli replied by throwing him above her head into the ceiling, I used my energy to yank her away from Sam and in front of me. 

“Listen to me, Karli,” I urged, earning a super-soldier shiner to my cheek, “We’re not your enemies.” Karli dropped me to the ground like I weighed nothing, the vibranium suit creating a dent in the flooring. I let out a groan at the shock and she ran off to deal with Sam. “Fight me!” she screamed as she clawed at the shield, “Fight back!” She flipped him over.

He fell.

The shield fell out of his reach.

Karli picked up the gun and aimed it at Sam.

He rose, accepting his fate.

Gathering the strength I had left, I got to my feet.

With trembling hands, knowing what I was about to do, I levitated and landed in front of Sam.

Karli’s face shifted, though I couldn’t read it as my emotions overwhelmed me. 

A supercut ran through my mind.

Sam.

Sarah.

AJ and Cass.

Mel.

My mom.

My father.

A legacy rewritten.

Bucky. 

Would he forgive me for what I was about to do? I hoped so.

“Go ahead,” I whispered, staring Karli down and blinking away the tears before she could see them, “Do it.” Karli’s face scrunched up as her finger prepared to pull the trigger when suddenly, three gunshots went off from nearby, hitting her. The gun fell to the ground and so did she. My eyes flew to where the bullets had come from, the sight of Sharon holding the smoking gun awaiting me. Sam dropped to his knees to cradle Karli’s head, the young girl staring up at him wide eyed and afraid. I knelt down on the other side of her, slipping her still warm hand into mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, staring up at Sam before looking to me. The only thought that ran through my mind was she’s just a girl, she’s just a girl…As I watched the tears well in her eyes before the life drained from them and they shut, the sudden innocence overwhelmed me. She was just a girl…

I didn’t let go of her hand even when it went limp, holding it to my heart as I wept over her. Sam cradled her cheek as we sat quietly, the only sounds were my soft sobs and Sharon’s labored breathing. I couldn’t face her right now, my feelings were too mixed about the way she had saved my life.

Eventually, once an undetermined amount of minutes had passed, Sam lifted Karli into his arms and the two of us rose to leave. When I turned to tell Sharon to come with us, she was already gone, probably having slipped out a back hallway. Sam carried Karli’s body the entire way out of the building, I hardly registered when we made it outside in the night air.

“I’ll clear the way for you,” I mumbled, extending my energy and shooting into the air, Sam not far behind me. The wind blowing against my dried my tears off of my cheeks as I flew toward the glow of ambulance lights outside the building we’d started the night at. There were crowds of news crews, there were the senators we’d saved and officers cleaning up the wreckage that had been left behind. They all noticed as I flew up, landing in the midst of it all and scanning the crowd for Bucky. Once I spotted him and Walker towards the very back near the ambulances, I ignored the reporters asking me questions as I weaved through the chaos. Bucky strode forward as I neared and wrapped me in his arms, I let go of the breath I’d been holding in my chest as soon as our bodies met. He was okay. My hands held the back of his neck as I dug my face into his shoulder. He tapped my waist and I turned to see Sam flying in, resembling the an angel with his outstretched wings as he landed. He carefully passed off Karli’s body to the paramedics who placed the girl on a stretcher, carrying her off to who knows where. 

Sam walked towards the crowd, doing the same as me and ignoring the reporters flooding him with unimportant questions. He had flown in carrying the dead body of a kid and here they were, asking him if they should refer to him as Captain Falcon. He stopped in front of the senators who were busy thanking him for dealing with what I heard one refer to as ‘terrorists.’

“Are you still going forward with resetting the borders?” Sam asked.

They answered, and while I couldn’t hear their words, I could read Sam’s face well enough to know it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“You have to stop calling them terrorists…” “What else would we call them?” one of the senators asked. “Your peacekeeping troops carrying weapons are forcing millions of people into settlements around the word, right?” Sam continued, “What do you think those people are going to call you? These labels, terrorists, refugees, thug. They’re often used to get around the question ‘why.’

“Those settlements that happened five years ago, do you think it is fair for governments to have to support them?” another senator asked. “Yes,” Sam said plainly. 

“And the people who reappeared only to find someone else living in their family home, they just end up homeless?” the bearded senator pushed back, “Look, I get it. But you have no idea how complicated this situation is.”

Just as he prepared to walk away, Sam spoke up. “You know what, you’re right, and that’s a good thing. We finally have a common struggle now. Think about that. For once, all the people who’ve been begging and, I mean, literally begging for you to feel how hard any given day is, now you know. How did it feel to be helpless? Now if you can remember what it was like to be helpless and face a force so powerful, it could erase half the planet. You would know that you were about to have the exact same impact. This isn’t about easy decisions. Senator.”

“You just don’t understand,” the senator replied, probably the most ignorant response I’d ever heard.

Sam scoffed, “I’m a black man, carrying the stars and strips. What don’t I understand? Every time I pick this thing up, I know there are millions of people out there who are going to hate me for it. Even now, here. I feel it. The stares, the judgment, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Yet I’m still here. No super serum. No blonde hair or blue eyes. The only power I have is that I believe we can do better.”

Holding onto Bucky a little tighter, the tears that I shed had morphed to those of joy. There my brother stood, in front of the government and the entire country saying what we all needed to hear. He spoke without reserve, unapologetic in his stance, and I had never been prouder of him.

“We can’t demand that people step up if we don’t meet them halfway,” Sam’s voice rose with passion, “Look, you control the banks. Shit, You can move borders. You can knock down a forest with an email. You can feed a million people with a phone call. But the question is, who’s in the room with you when you’re making those decisions? Hmm? Is it the people you’re gonna impact? Or is it just more people like you?” he paused, collecting himself before gesturing to where Karli’s body lay in the ambulance, “I mean, this girl died trying to stop you. And no one has stopped for one second to ask why. You’ve got to do better, Senator, you’ve got to step up because if you don’t, the next Karli will. And you don’t want to see 2.0. People believed in her cause so much that they helped her defy the strongest governments in the world. Why do you think that is? Look, you people have just as much power as an insane god,” Sam’s voice broke for only a second, “Or a misguided teenager. The question you have to ask yourself is how are you going to use it?”

With that, he walked away from the crowd that had been watching him so intently and made his way towards us. He stopped in front of Walker, the two of them sharing a look before nodding to one another, a non-verbal truce being declared. Walker also turned to me, in the end he had stepped up and done the right thing, but I knew that the two of us would never be on good terms. I’d never forget his tightening grip around my throat, nor would he forget that I wasn’t afraid of him and would tear him apart if he ever tried anything like he had in the warehouse again. But I had saved the guy’s life and because of that, his stare softened for only a second as he nodded his thanks to me. I watched as he disappeared into the crowd, off to whatever his next mission may be…

“Sorry, I was, uh, I was texting and so, all I heard was, um, “a black guy in stars and stripes,” Bucky broke the tension of the moment as Sam approached us.

The three of us shared a chuckle before Sam and I locked eyes, not having spoken a word yet about what had happened underground. I threw my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my shoulders, sharing probably the best hug we’d ever had. Our shared goal of keeping one another alive had been achieved. “Love you,” I whispered in his ear. “Love you too,” he replied, a hint of emotion choking him up. He squeezed a little tighter before releasing me, the three of us walking off together.

“Nice job, Cap,” Bucky said, patting Sam’s back that displayed the shield before sliding his hand back around my waist. A few feet away, hidden behind one of the ambulances and leaned up against the car was a familiar blonde figure.

“Sharon?” Sam called.

“Blocking my light,” she retorted, holding a gauze pad to the gunshot wound on her abdomen. “We need to get you to a hospital,” I strode forward, examining her injury as best I could.

“She’s not gonna listen,” Bucky grumbled as he looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody was following us. Sharon panted as she shrugged, “Hey, it’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me all week.”

“Told you…” Bucky said at my side. “Yeah, I don’t care,” I shook my head, “We’re take care of this.” “Uh, Cap?” an interruption came, the senator that had been on the receiving end of most of Sam’s impassioned speech. “I think he’s talking to you,” Sharon said before turning to both Sam and I, “Look, I’m sorry for how things ended down there. For what it’s worth,” she looked Sam up and down and genuinely smiled, “Suit looks good on you.”

Sam chuckled, “Thanks.”

Bucky nodded along, humoring the conversation for as long as he could. “All right, look, can we get out of here, please?” he asked, placing a hand on Sharon’s back to urge her forward. Giving up, she allowed him to lead her away. 

“I didn’t forget my promise,” Sam called to Sharon, referring to the pardon I hoped he could secure for her. 

I turned to my brother, “Meet you back home?” 

He gave a long sigh, his eyes flitting between Bucky’s departing figure and me, “Why don’t you stay here a couple days?” I knew what he was offering and how hard it was for him to say the words, he was trying to give me time with Bucky. I did my best to conceal my smile, “Are you sure?” “You risked your life all week, you almost died trying to protect us,” he stated with a scoff, “I think you deserve a little time off. Now go,” he looked back to Bucky and scrunched his face up a little, “Before I change my mind.” Unable to hide my grin any longer, I reached out and clasped hands with him, bringing each other in for another hug. “Go get ‘em, Cap.”

The two of us let each other go, off to tend to our business before eventually reuniting back in the house we’d grown up in. It was crazy to think that I owed almost every great thing in my life to the boy who’d sat next to the lonely girl in first grade. Now here we were, dressed in Vibranium off saving the world, or at least doing what we could to make it a better one.

——

“Superhero, nurse…you’re full of surprises, Y/l/n,” Sharon commented before sucking in a sharp breath as I placed another suture.

I laughed softly, concentrating on my work, “I took a first aid class a couple years ago. When you’re living with two boys, trust me, it comes in handy a little too often. But I’ve never had to remove a bullet.” We were seated on the floor of Bucky’s Brooklyn apartment with me tending to Sharon’s wound using his first aid kit. Bucky was waiting in his bedroom to give us privacy, Sharon had her shirt pulled up and her pants unbuttoned to give me full access to her stomach. I’d had to place sutures once when Sarah had accidentally sliced her finger open with a knife, pulling out a lodged bullet was entirely new to me.

“I saw you tonight, with the truck,” she said as she watched me work, “You did good.” 

I supposed now that I had shown my powers to the world, I’d have to get used to people paying me compliments but for now, I still didn’t know how to take them. “So are you gonna stick with it? The hero thing?” Sharon asked.

I tied another suture, closing the sterilized hole in her abdomen. “I think so. Captain America needs a right hand man, why not have it be his sister?” Sharon hummed in agreement, a beat of silence passing. “You don’t think you’ll strike out on your own? You seem a little too independent to follow orders.” “Yeah, well,” I started working on the last stitch, “Sam and I work better together than I would with anyone else. Maybe one day I’ll do my own thing but for now, I’m fine where I’m at.” “Well, I guess you’re finally in a position to do all that good you said you wanted to,” she sighed, “Just don’t forget to keep your eyes open, opportunity’s everywhere.” “Alright, Miss Madripoor,” I chuckled, sterilizing the wound one more time with an alcohol wipe, “Your hustler side is showing.” 

Sharon shrugged and gave a little smirk, “All I’m saying is there’s a lot of ways to effect change, but I’m sure you’ll find that out.” Storing her advice away in my head for a later time, I placed a gauze pad on her abdomen and secured it. “Alright, you should be good. Just promise me that you’ll actually get checked by an actual doctor or whatever you have in High Town?” “Sure thing, Doc,” she replied with a smile as she adjusted her clothes again and rose to her feet, “You’re good, Barnes!” Bucky stepped back out into the room, peering around the corner carefully before entering fully. Despite the fact that he was in his own apartment, he still hadn’t changed out of what he’d worn to the fight. “What happens now?” I asked, looking to Sharon, “Hotel? Hidden apartment in some dodgy part of the city?” Sharon chortled at my suggestions, “I’ve got a plane waiting to take me back to Madripoor. The longer I stay here, the more of a chance they’ll find me,” she gave a small smile, “It was good seeing you guys again.” “It won’t be the last,” I confirmed, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Sam’ll get that pardon, you’ll be back before you know it.” “That’d be nice,” she sighed longingly, clearly thinking about all the freedom that would come with coming back home. Coming back to the conversation, she patted my arm and regained her full voice, “But until then, keep them in check. God knows they need it.” “The hell does that mean?” Bucky grumbled from his position outside his bedroom, leaving Sharon and I to share a laugh before she walked to the front door. “I’ll do my best, and hey, thank you for what you did for me...” I called out just before she shot us one last knowing smile and left, the door shutting behind her. While I wanted to worry about her walking the streets of New York and possibly getting caught, I’d seen enough of her in action to know that she could handle whatever came her way. 

Bucky slowly made his way to the door, locking it and turning around to face me. It was the first time of the night we’d been completely alone. Our eyes met, tired and traumatized but still alert and seeking one another out. Bucky crossed the room in a few long strides, taking his time in approaching me as if he was savoring the moment. I reached out once he was close enough and interlocked my hand with his, tugging him close to me. He dragged two featherlight fingers over the nasty bruise that Karli had given me, his brow furrowing as he examined the side of my face. I ran my thumb over the long red bruise across the side of his forehead, the pressure increasing when he leaned into my touch.

The night could have ended so differently. If Karli had pulled the trigger, if Bucky hadn’t fought on such high alert, we could have ended in tragedy. Such thoughts were better buried away and not thought of, but I couldn’t help it. Lucky, blessed, whatever word you wanted to use…we were it. With no battles on the horizon to fight, we could focus on figuring out just what spark there was between us. 

No words needed to be spoken, not for now at least. Tonight, all I needed was to hold Bucky in my arms and remember that despite every odd and every trouble thrown our way, we were alive. And as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in a tender but still passionate kiss, I had never felt more alive.

----

A/N: Oh, but we’re not done yet...We still have some time off and a cookout to attend 😉 I really can’t thank you all enough for sticking with this series the past few weeks, it means the world to me that I’ve been able to bring a little joy to people’s days. Let me know what you thought and if you’d like to be tagged for the LAST CHAPTER. 

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlyhufflepuff​ @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @zozebo​ @fandomxreaders @kittengirl998​ @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​ @i-know-i-can​ @x-judyjude-x​ @thebi-valkyrieofvalhalla​ @buckverse​ @living-that-best-life​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @citlalireedus @lindseyrae20​ @missstef23​ @qhbr2013​ @sebby-stann​ @bluemoon-icecream​ @iixbella​ @lets-love-little-me​ @abitofeverythinggg @itsnottilly​ @sltwins​ @mads-weasley​ @hart-failure @natdrunk​ @nctma15​ @obsessedwithjustaboutanything @patdsinner33​

[thehoneyedhufflepuff]

2019 Top Five

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thank you for tagging me @ninemagicks @sourcherrymagiks @f-ing-ruthless-baz @sharkmartini 💜

2019 was the year I found Carry On & this lovely fandom. It was the year I started writing & drawing again after many years of being creatively stagnant (& I wrote a LOT; over 310k published on AO3 & who knows how much is currently sitting unpublished in my Google Drive). It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride—lots of self-doubt & uncomfortable feelings about my own work—but this book ultimately gave me my creativity back, & some wonderful friends, & self-growth, day by day. I’ve been in a bit of a funk since the end of the countdown, & especially these last few weeks, so I think this will be a good opportunity for me to reflect on the things I’m proud of & try to say some nice things about my own work. Let’s get the party started.

1. Between the Lines

Y’all probably aren’t surprised, right? I feel like BTL has really helped me grow as a writer while telling a story that’s very personal & important to me. When I first started this fic, it was meant to be just a little bookshop AU. I’m very proud of what it’s become, & the reception it’s had has blown me away. I appreciate everyone who’s read it/reading it/yet to read it so very, very much. I never would’ve guessed that I’d still be working on this fic, let alone how long it would be. I think it’s probably my best work stylistically & in terms of the story, even if sometimes I cringe when I reread the beginning. (I either cringe or really like my work when I reread it, there’s no in-between.) (I mostly really like this one when I need to go back & study it.)

IDK, I’ve talked about BTL a LOT the last eight months. I’m not sure what else I can say about it right this moment, but I’m sure I’ll think of something eventually, & hopefully y’all aren’t sick of hearing about it because I don’t think I can help it.

🦖💛💙🦖

2. A Pair of Splendid Morons

This fic is still near & dear to my heart. I like to say it was the first fic I finished in the fandom, but it was actually my second (I don’t...like to talk about Merry Gentlemen. At all. I think I’ve been scarred since I got a scathing anon review in the comments [which is why I no longer allow anon comments on AO3, RIP].) (I made some...choices with that fic. ANYWAY.)

So Splendid Morons was the second fic I finished in the fandom (it’ll be a year old on Valentine’s Day; can you believe?!). It’s my second-longest (after BTL, of course, lmao) & I wrote it in just six weeks, which is lightning-fast by my standards. (This set me up to think I was a fast writer. I was sorely disappointed when I discovered that’s not the case.) It’s also my most-read fic, though BTL is super close to taking the crown.

My writing’s improved a lot since I first posted APOSM, I think, but I also think it holds up pretty well! (I do worry sometimes that I wrote Simon too soft, & there are a few mistakes I made by not properly researching [ahem, looking at you, Suitgate].) (One thing I found slightly amusing was the influx of readers this one got after Wayward Son, lmao. This fic is not in the vein of WS at ALL.) (Okay, that might be sort of false? I do mention trauma etc. in the fic, but I guess the main difference is that Simon & Baz really try to face these things together instead of apart. And also they communicate, albeit somewhat awkwardly. It’s a dream come true.)

For anyone who hasn’t read it, it’s a Carry On-era canon first time fic, & it spawned my post-Carry On series that is now an AU. I still have stories to tell on that timeline, but it’s sort of hard to forget Wayward Son completely, you know? When I first started writing this, it was technically still possible. Now it’s only possible as an AU, which is fine. (I’m not really sure where I’m going with this...I just have weird feelings, lol.) OH, also this was the first time I ever wrote a sex scene. I think it’s actually pretty good for a first time (mine & theirs, lmao).

3. Housewarming

Sort of cannot believe I’m picking the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written as one of my top fics of the year, but also??? I’m proud of this fic. It’s super hard to write smut—no euphemism—& I reread this one recently & thought I did a pretty good job. (I was actually slightly ashamed after I posted it, but I got over that once I got some nice comments. Nice comments are always very helpful.) I’ll share one here, which I think is fine since AO3 comments are public anyway:

Your writing just has so much LOVE in it and you write their companionship and connection so beautifully. You know, I wasn't going to read First Bite because that's not my kind of thing and usually grosses me out, but I've loved your other stuff so I gave it a shot. Turns out, it's just that stories like that tend to focus on the kink and grit, but you focus on everything that's good between them instead. And then you show how those good things lead to the perhaps more-than-vanilla coupling.

This fic, too, is grimy and steamy, but it's also sweet because you include the right details... This is not a smut fic of the rough kinky variety. It's a smut fic about two people reveling in a sacred space/act they've created together. Props to you because the difference is palpable. (I have never in my life written so much about sex on a fic review so sorry about this ramble lmao)

Y’all...this comment meant so much to me. This is what it’s really about, you know? I’m trying to show them expressing love, & this just made me so happy. Numbers-wise, stories with a focus on sex seem to get fewer kudos/comments, & I think part of that is the anonymity factor (which I totally understand), but I just want to say that something like this means A TON to those of us who write stuff like this. Many thanks to @sappho-said-i-could ; this comment single-handedly made me much less self-conscious about this particular work. 💜

4. Crashing Through

This is one of my favorite ficlets from the countdown, & also my most popular countdown fic on Tumblr in terms of notes (not that that’s a deciding factor, but it DOES make me happy). It’s a little alternate ending to WS (just a what if? for the beach scene at the end of the book.)

Like many, Wayward Son hit me really hard. I love Wayward Son a lot, but I spent days feeling so emotionally drained, & then weeks just unable to write. This was one of the first things I wrote that even had anything to do with Wayward Son, & fun fact! I wrote it all by hand in the car on a day trip. While it’s obviously not a canon-possible scene at this point, I still really like it. (I reblogged it yesterday as part of my Fandom Anniversary Reblog Thingy that I’m doing, & I read it & thought, Huh. Sometimes I’m decent at this whole writing thing.)

I actually felt stuck when I went to write Be With Me after this, because I didn’t think I could top the way they said I love you in this one (I still...sort of prefer this to the scene in Be With Me but oh well, what’re you gonna do).

5. “Love”

Can y’all tell I don’t normally name my art pieces? I don’t normally name them. I’m super proud of this one; it was the last piece of art I made in 2019, & I think it’s one of my best. It’s one of my least “popular” pieces in terms of notes, but I still really like it a lot & I did a side-by-side comparison of this next to my first fanart last year & it was super encouraging to see my progress. Sharing art has been scarier for me than sharing writing, but seeing how far I’ve come since June was very helpful.

ANYWAY! BTL is super close to my heart, as y’all know, & I had a moment where I just really wanted to draw them in this moment where they’re finally getting some time to just be together & enjoy the newness of their relationship. This was done in copic marker for the most part, though I also used colored pencil for their blushes (my brand 😏) & Baz’s sweater. (At one point I thought I’d completely ruined the whole piece because of how Baz’s sweater was looking, but then @knitbelove gave me some sweater advice & I went back to work & held my breath & everything turned out okay in the end.) This is also the last traditional piece of art I’ve done, & I should probably change that soon. (Please give the original post some love if you’re so compelled. 💜💜💜)

I think I’m a few days late in terms of doing this, so I’m not sure who all has gone yet! I’ll tag @warriorbeeofthesea @krisrix @pipsqueakparker @icarus-n-flames @vkelleyart @singerofsimplesongs @fight-surrender @knitbelove @annabellelux @pitchpatronus @subpar-selkie @neck-mole @cynopoe @gibbarts & anyone else who sees this & wants to do it! Seriously, that means you! 😉

[fangirlingtodeath513]

moments | a destiel fic

read here on ao3

Every once in a while, usually in inopportune moments, his love for Cas nearly stops his heart and has him choked up.

He’d fooled himself for about three days when Cas had moved in. He’d mentally noted the man’s stellar looks while helping him bring boxes in, but he’d promised himself that was as far as it would go, especially with Cas being his roommate.

Did a promise to yourself really count if you were crossing your fingers against it to begin with? One such inopportune moment: a rainy Friday night about three weeks after Cas moves in. They’re on their couch; neither of them want to leave the apartment, and they can’t agree on a movie, so Cas flips to Lifetime and declares that they’ll watch charmingly shitty romcoms instead. Dean huffs and grumbles about it but some Lifetime movies are good, okay? Not that he’d admit that to anyone, much less Cas. He looks over and sees Cas sipping his wine. He’s in a ratty old t-shirt and baggy sweats; the mundane scene makes Dean forget how to breathe. It’s not like he hasn’t noticed how adorable Cas is before—every scrunch of his nose when he’s woken too early in the morning or laughs really hard, every satisfied smile when he finally gets his morning coffee—but something about this particular scene just makes his heart thump harder in his chest.

♥

It happens again a week later.

Dean drags Cas to karaoke at the nearby bar, promising Cas that he’ll have fun. They meet up with Dean’s group of friends at the bar—Charlie and her girlfriend Jo, Benny, Garth, Kevin, and Alfie—and, though he can tell Cas is nervous, he fits in with Dean’s group of friends effortlessly. It’s reassuring and, at the same time, only makes Dean fall for him that much harder.

By the time they leave that night, Cas and Charlie have already made plans to start a D&D campaign and Benny’s coming over Friday for dinner with his girlfriend. It’s so domestic and Dean should hate it—they’re not even dating—but it just puts a huge grin on his face.

♥

Two weeks after that, he finally caves and calls his mom. He’s been working toward this call for a while and he’s not entirely sure he’ll get through it this time, but it’s worth a shot. Cas is out with his own friends for the next few hours, so he sprawls on the couch as he catches up with her.

“So what’s the real reason you called?” she finally asks. He can almost see the smirk on her face.

“What, I can’t just want to talk to my own mother?” Dean replies, feigning annoyance.

Mary snorts. “When have you ever called me just because? I know you better than you’d like to admit. Who is she?”

Dean clears his throat quietly. He’d dreaded this part of the conversation, honestly. He’d come out to his parents senior year of high school, nearly eight years ago now, but he’s still not quite sure they really get it. “It’s, uh… it’s a he, actually.” Mary hums but doesn’t reply, which only makes him more nervous. “Shit, sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have-”

“Dean,” she cuts him off sharply, and he’s not entirely sure if he should be relieved or terrified. “I was just waiting for you to continue. You know I don’t care who you end up with, as long as you’re happy, right?”

He can feel a blush creep onto his cheeks. Thank god he’s alone. “You don’t?”

Mary sighs. “No, Dean, of course not. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear before now.”

He smiles to himself, picking at a loose thread on his t-shirt. “Thanks.”

“So,” Mary prompts. “Who is he?”

“It’s, um…” If he says it out loud, he’ll only be confirming his feelings, which won’t make them go away any easier… “It’s Cas.”

“Your roommate Cas?”

“Yeah, he’s…” Dean whines softly in the back of his throat, flinging his arm over his face. “I didn’t mean to, it just kinda happened. Sometimes I just look at him—god, this sounds so cheesy—and everything just feels right.”

Mary doesn’t say anything. He waits for another minute, both still nothing.

“Are… did I freak you out?”

Mary laughs. “No, sweetheart. I’m just not sure what you want me to say.”

Dean whines. “I want you to tell me how to stop crushing on my roommate.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want? It certainly doesn’t sound like it is.”

“But he’s my roommate, and a really good friend. What if I say something and he doesn’t feel the same way? Then I lose him completely.”

She hums and Dean can practically feel her shrug through the phone. “Dean, hon, I don’t know what you want me to say. It seems like you really like him.”

“I do.” he whines, running a hand through his hair.

She chuckles softly before continuing, “then you have to decide if it’s worth the risk. Sure, maybe he doesn’t like you back—though I find that hard to imagine, if I’m being honest—”

“Mom, you’re a bit biased there, aren’t ya?”

He hears a quiet laugh before she resumes her train of thought, “but maybe he does like you back, and you’ll be happier than you are now.”

Dean pouts. “Aren’t you supposed to have some romantic wisdom for me or something? Like, ‘if he does this he likes you’ or something like that?”

“Can’t you just use Google for that?” she snarks. “Besides, you don’t want advice, you just want someone to tell you to pull your head out of your ass. So, Dean, pull your head out of your ass and ask your cute roommate out.”

Dean huffs, but he does feel better now than he had before. “I will, I will, jeez.” He pauses, smiling to himself. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Let me know how it goes!”

He doesn’t have a chance to respond before she says her goodbyes and hangs up. He drops his phone on his chest, scrubbing his hands over his face as he heaves a sigh.

♥

The third time it happens is two days later. It’s a Saturday morning and both he and Cas slept in. Dean finally gets out of bed a little after ten, starting the coffee machine before deciding on breakfast. He’s halfway through a batch of chocolate chip pancakes when Cas finally shuffles into the kitchen. Dean knows better than to have a conversation with him this early, so he ignores him until he hears the happy sigh that signals he’s gotten his coffee.

“Mornin, Cas.”

“Good morning, Dean. Are those chocolate chip?”

Dean grins. “Course they are. There’s a bunch ready if you wanna eat.”

Cas hums, sipping his coffee before setting the mug on the counter and grabbing plates and silverware for both of them. “I’ll wait until you’re finished cooking.”

Dean nods, pouring the remaining batter on the skillet. The plate of pancakes winds up on the table once the last few are flipped onto the plate and Dean takes his seat across the table from Cas. It’s the first time he’s gotten a good look at the man this morning and Dean nearly chokes on his coffee.

He’s in nothing but an old t-shirt and boxers and his hair is ridiculously messy, like someone had spent the night running their fingers through it. It has Dean’s stomach growling for something other than food, so he quickly tears his eyes away from his roommate and digs into his breakfast. His mother’s words keep creeping into the forefront of his mind, though. What if Cas does like him back, and morning could be even better than this? He doesn’t even know if Cas is into guys to begin with… but there’s a quick fix for that.

“Charlie and I are going shopping tomorrow to pick up some stuff for Pride. Do you need anything?” It’s a subtle enough question, he hopes.

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him, finishing his sip of coffee before answering. “You’re going to Pride?”

Uh oh. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up… “Yeah, me, Charlie, Jo, Benny, and a couple other friends you haven’t met yet. We go every year.”

Cas hums. “I’ve never been. Were you inviting me or just asking me if I needed something from the store?”

Dean chuckles. “Both? You’re welcome to join us. Charlie wants to get a few more flags for her and Jo and I should probably get one to carry around, the one in my room’s a bit big.”

“Can I come with you? Would Charlie mind?”

He shrugs but texts Charlie just in case. “I doubt it. She’d probably be thrilled, honestly.”

Sure enough, Charlie texts back an emphatic yes, so an hour later, the two of them are in Dean’s car, heading to Charlie and Jo’s apartment.

“What’s it like?” Cas asks softly, startling Dean out of his thoughts.

“Pride?” Dean asks. Cas nods, though his eyes don’t meet Dean’s. “It’s… pretty fuckin’ awesome, actually. The first year I went I thought I’d hate it but there’s something so cool about seeing so many queer people celebrating who they are.”

Charlie and Jo climb in before Cas can respond, so their conversation ends there.

“Cas! I’m so happy you came. What’re you looking for?”

Cas smiles at her shyly and it’s one of the cutest smile Dean’s ever seen. “I’m not sure yet. I’m curious to see what there is.”

Charlie grins. “You won’t be disappointed.”

Their first stop at the nearby mall is H&M. Jo ends up finding her outfit there, so the three of them linger outside the shop while she checks out.

“Pride shop?” Dean asks when Jo finally emerges, chuckling when both girls grin at him.

“Pride shop?” Cas repeats, obviously confused.

Dean chuckles, motioning for Cas to follow them. “Every year around Pride, this shop pops up in the mall that sells all sorts of Pride gear. Pins, flags, all sorts of t-shirts and tank tops and crop tops with Pride-related things on them. It’s awesome, makes it super easy to get everything you need.”

Charlie and Jo wander off into the depths of the shop almost immediately, leaving Dean alone with Cas.

“What’re you getting?” Cas asks quietly, eyes wide as he looks around the shop.

“Hopefully a tank top and a smaller flag. Maybe some pins…” he trails off as he steps into the store, heading for the section of the store with all the bisexual pride stuff.

He hears Cas’s footsteps behind him, so he pauses to glance at his roommate. “You can go look around if you want. Charlie’s probably gonna be looking for a while.”

“You’re bisexual?” Cas asks with a frown, which is definitely not a good sign.

“Yeah. That a problem?” His reply is a bit more acidic than he’d intended.

Cas’s eyes widen as he meets Dean’s gaze. “No! Not at all. I just… didn’t know. I’ve never seen you with anyone and when you mentioned Pride, I guess I’d assumed you were asexual or aromantic. My apologies.”

His entire body relaxes at Cas’s explanation and he waves him off. “Don’t worry about it, man. There’s…” Now or never, he thinks to himself. “There’s someone I’m interested in. Not sure if they’re interested back so I’m kinda… stuck for now.”

Cas hums his understanding, flipping through the racks of clothes. Dean joins him and, after a while, settles on a white tank top with the bi flag on it, as well as a flag and a pin that reads, “how dare you assume I’m heterosexual”. Cas chuckles at the pin when Dean shows it to him and Dean falls for him just a little more.

“Anything you wanna look for?” Dean prompts, draping the tank top and flag over his arm.

Cas shrugs, glancing around the store. “Not really. I kind of just want to… wander.” He glances at Dean, smiling softly. “If that’s alright?”

“Yeah, sure. Like I said, Charlie’s gonna be a while, so we should probably entertain ourselves anyway.”

Cas nods, slipping through the displays as he wanders the room. He mostly just looks, though he examines a few things closer. Mostly pins, but he picks up a few rainbow t-shirts, running his fingers over the flag before setting them back down. He hands Dean a ring he finds that has three hearts, each one colored as one of the bisexual pride colors. Dean smiles to himself, holding it in his other hand with the pin.

Dean nearly knocks Cas over when he suddenly stops in his tracks with a gasp. “Cas? You okay?”

Cas nods slowly, his gaze fixed on something to his left. Dean frowns, following his gaze to the pansexual flag nearby. “I didn’t think they’d have one.” Cas murmurs, brushing his fingers over the fabric reverently.

“You’re pan?”

Cas nods, the corners of his mouth ticking up in a smile.

“They have a whole section of stuff for pansexual pride.” Cas stares at him, dumbstruck. Dean chuckles, grabbing Cas’s hand and pulling him to the back of the store, right into the middle of the pansexual section.

Cas’s eyes grow wide as he looks around, gasping. “This is… so much…” he whispers, fingers brushing over the t-shirts nearby, other hand still clasped in Dean’s. He’s so distracted by Cas’s face right now that he can’t even be excited that he’s basically holding hand with the guy he’s in love with. Cas is so enraptured with the different designs and accessories and he’s so genuinely excited. Cas squeezes Dean’s hand, grinning over at him. “This is amazing.”

Dean grins back. “You should get something, ‘specially if you’re going to Pride with us. A t-shirt or something?”

“Oh, I’m buying more than just one thing. I’ve never seen this much pansexual pride in one place.” He drops Dean’s hand—disappointing, but not unexpected—and flips through the t-shirts on the rack. He giggles softly as he pulls one from the rack, turning it around to show Dean. It’s a yellow panda with blue circles around its eyes and pink ears, surrounded by, “I’m Pan Duh”.

Dean snorts, actually snorts, and he kind of wants to die. Cas must find if funny though; his nose scrunches up and he grins at Dean, nodding to himself as he drapes the shirt over his arm. He also grabs a few pins and a pansexual flag, his grin growing with each addition.

Charlie finds them a few minutes later and all four of them pay for their things. Charlie and Jo are dropped off a little while later at their apartment and Dean and Cas are finally alone.

“So you mentioned you were interested in someone?” Cas asks, fiddling with his shirt.

Dean glances at him quickly, clearing his throat. “Yeah. Why?”

Cas shrugs. “I’m just surprised you don’t go for it. You always seem so confidant.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, I usually am. Until feelings get involved, anyway.”

Cas hums and the car falls silent for a minute until he pipes up, voice quiet, “Do I know them?”

“You could say that.” Dean replies with a chuckle, tightening his grip on the wheel momentarily.

Cas frowns but doesn’t continue the conversation.

So in all, he knows Cas is pan, but he’s no closer to figuring out if Cas is interested in him or not.

♥

The next moment he has is that night. They’ve put their purchases away and had dinner. Now they’re both curled up on opposite ends of the couch, arguing over what they’re going to watch. Eventually, they agree on the latest episode of Dr. Sexy, settling in to watch.

About halfway through, Dean looks over to find Cas sound asleep, curled up against the arm of the couch. He looks so peaceful and relaxed and Dean doesn’t have the heart to wake him, so he tucks a blanket around him and lets him sleep while he finishes the episode.

Cas is still sound asleep when Dean turns off the TV, so he shifts over and shakes him gently. “Cas? Hey, wake up.” He hears a sleepy grumble, laughing softly when Cas only burrows farther under the blanket. “C’mon, man, wouldn’t you rather be in your own bed?”

“I’d rather be in your bed.” Cas mutters, but Dean hears it clear as day.

He sucks in a breath, eyes widening. “You… what?”

Cas pulls the blanket tighter around him and Dean can see the exact moment he realizes what he said; he freezes, glancing up at Dean in horror. “Oh my god, I didn’t—I’m so sorry, Dean, I didn’t mean to say that, it just—”

“Did you mean it?” Dean cuts him off, hopeful it wasn’t just some thing the tired part of Cas’s brain made up.

Cas glances up at him, nodding after a second. “I’m sorry, Dean, I didn’t—”

“Whoa, hey, you don’t have to apologize.” He holds out a hand to Cas, smiling reassuringly. “C’mon, stand up.” Cas looks up at him, obviously concerned, but he takes Dean’s hand and stands anyway. Dean grins, resting a hand on Cas’s cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

Cas’s eyes widen but instead of answering, he cups Dean’s face and crushes their lips together. It’s a bit too much teeth and it takes them a minute to get it right but when they do, it’s perfect. He hates to admit it—it’s super cliché—but it’s honestly the best first kiss he’s ever had.

They pull away after a moment and he hears Cas chuckles quietly. “That is… not how I expected today to go.”

Dean hums his agreement, thumb brushing idly over Cas’s cheek. “Me either. I’m glad this is how it went, though.”

Cas closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch with a happy sigh. It’s adorable, frankly, and Dean would be more than content to stay just like this for the rest of… well, eternity. Cas yawns after a moment, smiling up at Dean as he opens his eyes. “I think I’ll head to bed. We should… talk about this in the morning?”

Dean nods, smiling softly as he presses a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “Definitely. G’night.”

Cas waves at him as he turns, heading down the hallway to his room.

♥

The one time that really gets him is during Pride. He knew with it being Cas’s first time there that it’d be special, but he hadn’t prepared himself for this. Cas is bright-eyed and grinning, utterly enraptured by everything going on around him. His hand is clasped in Dean’s—something he’s still not really used to but is so okay with—and every few minutes, he’ll turn to Dean and point something out with a quiet laugh, like he can’t really believe it.

It’s the cutest thing Dean’s ever seen.

This time, there’s nothing stopping him from tugging Cas close and planting a kiss on him, so he does.

[apatheticmaplesyrup]

1-100

Thank you :D

This is gonna be a long post so continue at your own peril.

Is a kiss considered cheating?If it’s a proper snog, yeah.

Have you ever faked orgasm?Yeah.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?Probably.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?I don’t know if I’ll be rich, but hopefully rich enough to live comfortably.

Tell us some funny drunk story.I don’t think I really have any funny ones :’)

Why are you no longer together with your ex?I don’t know that there was a particular reason, it just didn’t work out.

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Natural causes.

What are your current goals?To get through uni and get a 2:1/1st, and try to lower my body fat (mainly for health right now).

Do you like someone?I don’t know, I think I might but I’m not sure.

Who was the last person to disappoint you?Myself for not going to the gym when I’ve got a membership and keep saying I will.

Do you like your body?I don’t like how it looks overall, but there are good parts to me. It’s worked relatively fine so far, so I’m happy with that.

Can you keep a diet?Not unless I can get past the first month of it.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?Did Barry the Bee really have sexual relations with Vanessa, and did Ken ever get to have yoghurt night?

Do you work?No.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?Chicken wraps probably.

Would you get a tattoo?Yeah, I want one but I’m just not sure what to start with.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?Food.

Can you drive?Yes.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?Idk man it’s been a while. *tiny violin plays in the distance*

What was the last thing you cried for?I think I was just really sad and really tired, there was no real trigger.

Do you keep a journal?Nope.

Is life fun?It can be sometimes. It can also be a lot of effort.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?I don’t know what this means by irrelevant but I don’t think it matters much unless it’s a crowded area.

What’s your dream car?This changes, but I do really want a Dodge Charger (either a 1970s one or the 2014 model)

Are grades in school important?Yes, because it can affect what direction you take for your career (i.e. choosing if/where to go to university), but it’s not the most important thing. You can get bad grades and still be successful and happy in life.

Describe your crush.Really chilled out, similar sense of humour to me and just quite easy to be around.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?I’m listening to the audiobook “How to Build a Universe: An Infinite Monkey Cage Adventure” by Brian Cox, Robin Ince and Alexandra Feachem. It’s impressive how they can talk about and explain these theories about space and time in a way that is accessible and often comedic.

What was your last lie?Probably something like “I can’t come out, I have a lot of work to do”.

Dumbest lie you ever told? When I was a kid, my mum caught me playing my Gameboy when I wasn’t supposed to, and I tried to lie and say I didn’t even though I clearly was.

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?I don’t feel comfortable doing it because a lot of people do judge others when they cry in public, but if it’s people I know then I don’t really feel it should be embarrassing.

Something you did and you are proud of?Cleaned and decorated my room in my new house.

What’s your favourite cocktail?I’d probably still go with long islands, purely because I haven’t found another one that I love yet.

Something you are good at?Complaining.

Do you like small kids?I don’t mind them, I’m just terrible at dealing with them.

How are you feeling right now?Like I should be writing my essay rather than procrastinating :’)

What would you name your daughter/son?I don’t have a clue.

What do you need to be happy?Financial and emotional stability and a healthy relationship.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Not right now, I’m feeling pretty chill.

What was the last gift you received?GTA 5 from my friends for my birthday

What was the last gift you gave?It was just a £20 playstation store card and we made him cocktails as well.

What was the last concert you went to?The Community Festival in Finsbury Park

Favourite place to shop at?Blue Inc.

Who inspires you?My parents, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

How old were you when you first got drunk?18.

How old were you when you first got high?Still haven’t.

How old were you when you first had sex?16.

When was your first kiss?When I was 14 or 15.

Something you want to do until the end of this year?Come up with ideas for music videos and sketches.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?Yes.

Post a selfie.Really not feeling it today, sorry.

Who are you most comfortable around?@robbiesheehanigan, @lucashaggettphotography, @i-dw and @th4t-f33ling

Name one thing that terrifies you.Heights.

What kind of books do you read?I usually read fantasy books, but books about space are also great.

What would you tell your 12 year old self?Get into a sport, it’ll help you in the future.

What is your favourite flower?Chrysanthemums.

Any bad habits you have?Oh yes. Definitely.

What kind of people are you attracted to?People who are kind, I’m comfortable being around, have a similar sense of humour, and I don’t really know apart from there being ‘something’ that makes them attractive to me.

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?Other than cod, I don’t really like seafood. I also really don’t like olives.

Are you in love?No.

Something you find romantic?Sitting in front of a fire together somewhere scenic and toasting marshmallows. Also stargazing. 

How long was your longest relationship? About 4 years.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? I’m just going to say three things in general.1 - When people are unnecessarily rude to waiting/bar staff.2 - When people only want to do things their way or no way, with no contingency plan or even listening to what other people have to say, even if it’s valid.3 - People who say they’ll do something, and constantly don’t.

What are you saving money for?A car or a new camera.

How would you describe your bad side?Rude, nasty to people, and short-tempered.

Are you actually a good person? Why?I hope so, but I don’t know how to judge that. I think I’m probably just a neutral person.

What are you living for?To see what happens next.

Have you ever done anything illegal?Aha, nice try cops

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?I probably have and can’t remember, so I’m sorry to anyone who I may have done that to.

Ever sent nudes?Nah I’m not that confident :’)

Have you ever cheated on someone?No.

Favourite candy?I could always go for a bounty or kit-kat.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!Not really, I mostly just look at my timeline.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?I do, I started playing Dark Souls 3 recently and it’s really fun but I’m not particularly good at it. My favourite game changes but I think the one I’ve always liked is Tom Clancy’s Hawx.

Favourite TV series?I still really like Community, though Tokyo Ghoul and Stranger Things are also amazing.

Are you religious? Does God exist?I used to be but now I’m not so much. I think there might be some type of higher power, but I don’t definitively believe that there is or isn’t.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?I answered this with the one about a book that’s impressed me :)

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?I think vegetarianism is admirable, probably more ethically correct and environmentally friendly. I don’t really know enough about veganism to make an informed comment, but it’d probably be a similar opinion. 

How long have you been on Tumblr?Probably like 5 years or so. I think I had it before then but never used it.

Do you like Chinese food?Yes.

McDonalds or Subway?McDonalds

Vodka or whiskey?Straight whiskey, vodka if it’s with a mixer

Alcohol or drugs?Alcohol

Ever been out of your province/state/country?Yes

Meaning behind your blog name?I watched Stranger Things 2 and Steve as the babysitter is my favourite thing. Also the last scene where he’s giving Dustin a pep talk is brilliant.

What are you scared of?Heights. A lot of other things too, but let’s just go with heights.

Last time you were insulted?Probably earlier today (part of banter with my friends)

Most traumatic experience ?I have no idea, probably the many times I ran into the door frame when I was younger.

Perfect date idea?Dinner and a movie (even if it’s at home) is a great idea. Stargazing and a campfire (and obviously food) would also be amazing, but I feel like that’d be once I know them a little better.

Favourite app on your phone?The Clock app, I would probably not wake up on time without it.

What colour are the walls in your room?White

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I watch YouTube, I’ve always loved Markiplier because he’s a lovely person (though I haven’t really watched his videos recently). I really like Shane and Ryan in Buzzfeed Supernatural.

Share your favourite quote.L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle

What is the meaning of life?I feel like that’s a question for Google.

Do you like horror movies?Not really, I can watch them and I think some of them are great, but I get scared by them really easily.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Yeah, I think the most recent time was when I turned 21 and/or came back to uni.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?Yeah, I’ve lived quite a good life. I have an amazing family who have always looked after me and shown me love, and I think I’m lucky to have that.

Can you keep a secret?Probably, depends on the secret. You got a confession to make?

Thank you for asking :) Also @robbiesheehanigan someone else also did the 1 to 100 thing so here you go xo