#after a nightmare month of hiding from spoiler and deadline

[shiliria]

Based on this post

[meetmy2dboyfriends]

Despite Myself (Seven x MC)

Below is a re-imagining of the the day (day 6 or 7?, I believe) that Seven comes to the apartment to work on the Special Security System during his route.

Contains Spoilers for Seven’s route. 

We’ve always wondered what Seven was thinking when he was at the apartment working on the Special Security System. What went through his mind when he was pushing us away? Were his feelings true, or was he working against himself?   

-----

“How could you do this to me? 

I trusted you, Seven.

Why would you purposely put me in danger?” 

Seven’s eyes flashed open. He had once again had another bad dream; normally, he was plagued by memories and scenarios from his past. His dreams were the only place he could still see his twin brother Saeran, but as he grew older, his few memories became more twisted and upsetting. He hadn’t seen Saeran since they were both children, but lately, he had been thinking more and more of what his brother was like now and how his life had been. Was he happy? Did he still think of Seven? Did he still look up at the sky with the same wonder in his eyes like when they were kids? 

Seven closed his eyes and brought his hands to his face, placing both palms over his eyes in frustration. This morning’s dream, however, had been different. He had dreamt of her, of MC. 

It had only been six days since MC had mysteriously wandered into Rika’s apartment and onto the RFA server. How the hacker who had sent her there in the first place had been able to bypass his security measures was still beyond Seven, but regardless, the RFA found themselves in the midst of a new member. Since that day, he had been using the security cameras around Rika’s apartment to monitor MC’s comings and goings. She was beautiful; her long brown hair perfectly framed her face. Her eyes were piercing. Sometimes she would unknowingly look at the camera, and when she did, his heart would stop beating for the briefest moment. When she smiled, he imagined what it would be like to be enveloped by her warmth, by her kindness. 

He had only seen video images of MC and pictures of her that he had found on social media, and yet, he knew he felt something for her, more than he had felt for anyone in such a long time. Those feelings alone were dangerous in more ways than one. 

Unbeknownst to MC and most of the RFA members, there were secrets concerning both the organization and Rika’s apartment. Rika was the founder of the Rika’s Fundraising Association (RFA), an organization made to hold charity fundraising parties. While she was a wholesome and kind person; she was also very particular and protective of the private and valuable knowledge of the guests that attended these parties. In her efforts to protect this valuable information from hackers, Rika had requested for Seven to install a bomb at her apartment. While Seven was no stranger to risky situations and danger, he was reluctant to acquiesce such a request, even from Rika. Nevertheless, she managed to convince him and promised him that she would not return to the apartment in order to keep the records safe and to avoid creating a situation where she might be harmed by the bomb. 

But now, MC was living in Rika’s apartment. She was living in the most dangerous situation possible and had absolutely no idea. 

  The thought of something happening to her and it being his fault was almost unbearable. This dread, this frustration, this ball of anxiety had been the cause of his nightmare. Not only did Seven fear losing MC through something disastrous, but also an even larger fear loomed on his heart. What will she do when she finds out that he’s been hiding this secret? What will she do when she figures out that this isn’t the only secret he’s been hiding? It was odd that after only six days, MC had enough of a hold on him for him to fear what it would be like without her, for her to reject him.  

He finally moved his hands from his eyes and rolled onto his side with a huff. It was hard not to feel frustrated and overwhelmed with his nightmare still so fresh on his mind. It was hard to do anything at all these days with the threat that something might happen to MC. As of late, she had been on his mind more often than not, and it was starting to cause him to lose focus when working.  

 Ping.

Seven shot up. That was the sound of the messenger going off. Seemed like everyone was finally waking up and jumping into the chatroom. Before he knew it, he was out of bed and sitting in his computer chair. His computer booted up to show the usual data code for the chatroom, and finally the chat layout popped up. He scanned the app, seeing the notification that MC and Yoosung were in the chat. Inadvertently, he smiled and joined the chat. 

Minutes later, Yoosung left the chat, claiming he was late to class - something that occurred more often than not with the young college student. 

MC: “How’s your day going, Seven?”

707: “Well, I actually just woke up from one of my power naps. 

Can’t keep GOD707 down for long! ^^ 

I have to maintain my status as the Defender of Justice!   

MC: “Haha, GOD707 to the rescue!”

707: “Did you have breakfast yet?”

MC: “Yes, I did! I made myself an omelette. How about you?”

707: “No, I haven’t. 

I’ll probably have some Honey Buddha Chips and some PhD Pepper.

Fuel for all the mind and soul!”

MC: “Lol, Seven. I don’t think Honey Buddha Chips and PhD Pepper are good for you all the time.  

I wish you would take care of yourself too. You can’t defend justice on an empty Stomach! Plus... I worry about you.”

Seven froze for a moment; his heart skipping a beat. She was worried about him? His eyes drifted to the second computer monitor, farther away on his desk. He pressed the ‘On’ button and the screen flashed to life. On it, he saw MC sitting on the couch inside Rika’s apartment, staring at her phone. Staring at her phone. Oh crap.. She was waiting for his reply.  

707: “Worry not, MC! GOD707 can handle anything that is thrown at him!

I will always come to you as your knight in shining armor. ^^”

MC: “Oh Seven! My Hero!”

707: “For more cutesy phrases that will make your heart beat faster, please subscribe to our messaging service. For only $9.99 per month, you too can receive daily cutesy phrases. Just reply “Yes Please”, and you will be automatically subscribed”   

MC: “Yes Please!”

707: “Thanks for your subscription! We will begin billing our monthly fee in 3... 2...”

Ping.

His eyes searched the screen for the notification. Something was happening with the messenger. It looked like the hacker was making a move once again. 

MC: “Seven?” 707: “I’m sorry, MC. Something just came up. I’ll be back later.” 

He clicked out of the chatroom and returned to the main screen, searching for traces of the hacker and attempting to undo what was being done. 

--- 

Seven had been working for several hours when finally the hacker’s trace seemed to disappear. He sighed with relief and leaned back in his chair, raising his arms to stretch them. He stood from his chair and looked around the room. “What a mess...” He thought to himself, making a mental note to ask Vanderwood, his ‘maid’, to help him clean up later. Heading toward the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of PhD Pepper. He walked over to the nearest cabinet and took out a bag of Honey Buddha Chips. 

Breakfast of champions. He thought with a sigh. It was hard to worry about eating healthy with so much on his mind. He still had no leads on the hacker. He hadn’t been able to find any traces of the hacker. He could only see when something had been messed with in the chatroom but not who had done so nor when the coding had been modified. He let out a frustrated sigh and plopped down in his computer chair. Swiveling in his chair, he faced the largest monitor with all intentions of continuing to track down the hacker. His eyes drifted to his second monitor. MC was once again sitting on the couch, watching television. He leaned forward in his chair, crossing his arms and propping his head up to watch the screen intently. 

Were feelings like this normal? 

The front door opened. Seven jumped up as he heard footsteps approaching his desk.

“Ah, Madam Vanderwood. I see you’ve dropped by to check on me.” He said with a smirk.

“I told you not to call me that. Now, how’s the work coming along? You know how impatient the boss can be.” The man huffed. He crossed his arms with impatience and leaned back on one foot.

“Yeah, yeah. I told you I was working on it.” Seven said calmly, turning his chair back to the monitor. 

In truth, he hadn’t been making much, if any, progress with his assignment from the agency. MC and the growing anxiety that came with worrying for her safety had been consuming most of his thoughts. Vanderwood tapped his foot in annoyance. 

“Well, you know the deadline is coming up. It’s tomorrow, and we need to be sure this gets done on time. You know what happened to the last agents that were late turning in their work.” Vanderwood stated, then turned on one foot to head towards the kitchen. 

“Madam Vanderwood, if you wouldn’t mind. I would appreciate it if you would help me clean up a little.” Seven said, facing toward the monitor. He could hear Vanderwood scoff from the kitchen. 

“I don’t know why I put up with you!” Vanderwood shouted from across the house. 

Seven grinned and set his focus on continuing his assigned hacking work for the agency. The agency was all Seven had known for so long, and he knew the danger that came with each assignment. Though he volunteered his time providing security for RFA’s online servers and in helping to plan parties, his main source of income came from his career as a hacker. It was hard for him to imagine having any other life at this point; he had given up so much to get where he was. He had always been careful and meticulous about keeping people at arms-length and making sure he had no personal connections. From the outside, it looked like he had wonderful and caring friends in the RFA members, but Seven knew that all of his connections could be and should be able to be easily severed. It was safer for the members if they didn’t know much, if anything, about him and if they thought he was much like the persona he showed them - happy go-lucky 707. In reality though 707’s personality and quirkiness were a part of him, they were a very small portion of who he truly was. Growing up he was Saeyoung. Then he was born again as Luciel. Today, he was Seven. Who would he be tomorrow? This question always hung heavily over his head, and the imminent danger anyone who entered his vicinity took on left him distant and cold in real life interactions. So why, he wondered, was he so drawn to MC. What was so different about her that he would even consider putting her and himself in danger? His eyes drifted to the CCTV footage of the apartment; MC had fallen asleep on the couch. She was so still. He almost imagined he could hear her quiet breathing. He closed his eyes for a moment, pretending he was in the same room with her, that he could take her into his arms and they could fall asleep together. 

          Error. Error. Error.

His eyes flicked to the RFA’s chat screen. The chatroom screen changed. And an unknown user appeared. 

Unknown: “I hope you’re ready for me to make my grand entrance, MC.”

Seven’s breath caught in his throat. 

Unknown: “I’ll see you soon. ^^”  

Quickly, he began typing on his keyboard, attempting to backtrace the hacker’s connection. No sooner had he started than Unknown left the chatroom. Seven’s heart began to race. What did he mean by that? He would see her soon? On the screen, the coding began to change at a rapid pace.

“No wait. What’s happening? How is he doing this? He’s- He’s trying to hack the special security system.” Seven whispered to himself, watching the hacker’s actions closely. Normally he took solace in the fact that he was one of the best hackers in his agency. His work was constantly requested due to his expertise, so he knew how valuable his skills were and felt a small sense of pride when he thought about it. But this. This hacker was something else. He was fierce and unyielding when it came to what he wanted. 

Special Security System Offline. His computer announced with a note of finality 

“What? What?!”  Seven whispered to himself, searching the screen. How could he have known the hacker would go after the security system? To activate it, Seven had sat in Rika’s apartment for days creating a code that was nearly impenetrable. Any yet, the hacker was able to disable it in minutes from a remote location.  

“Oh-,” Seven’s voice caught in his throat; he tried to swallow but the lump of realization in his throat wouldn’t go away. The bomb in Rika’s apartment was set to go off if anyone other than an RFA member entered the room, which both endangered and simultaneously kept MC safe. But if this Unknown was planning to break into the apartment... MC was in danger and had no form of protection. And even worse, she was asleep at the moment with no inkling that danger was looming ahead. 

Seven worked to erase Unknown’s messages from the chatroom. He didn’t want MC to find out about Unknown’s threat or about the bomb. He could protect her. No, he would protect her. He just needed to drive over to Rika’s apartment and turn the Special Security System back on. He would fortify the system after he knew the initial danger was gone. Seven jumped out of his chair, and ran to his bedroom, quickly changing into his favorite outfit: jeans, a red tank top, and his favorite black and yellow jacket.

Picking up his phone, he dialed in MC’s number. He would let her know that he was coming there to work on the security system but nothing else; he couldn’t afford to let her know something was up. The phone rang, but MC didn’t pick up. He left her a voicemail to let her know that he would be at the apartment soon. 

“Vanderwood!” He shouted as he began packing a bag. He knew he needed his laptop but what else? 

“What?” Vanderwood’s annoyed reply came from the other room. 

“I’m heading out. I’ll be back.” He grabbed connection cables, his data scrambler. What else? He searched under a nearby pile of clothes. There was one last thing he needed. Keyboard? Mouse? No, he had already grabbed that.. Oh wait, there it was. He crouched down and picked up his crucifix. Putting the necklace on, he grabbed his bag and began to head toward the door. 

“Wait, where are you even going? You can’t just leave. We have to finish that work for the boss.” Vanderwood popped his head around the corner.

“I know; I just have to go take care of one thing for the RFA. I’ll be back before the boss notices I’m gone.” He said with a grin, trying to play off the severity of the situation. 

“You and I both know that you won’t. Seven, you don’t want to force my hand on this. You know I’ve already been covering for you up until now; I won’t keep making excuses for you, and I won’t put my life in danger for some charity organization.” Vanderwood rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Seven turned toward the door. He knew the position he was putting Vanderwood in, and he knew the situation he was creating for himself. However, he knew that no one could deal with the bomb at Rika’s apartment except him, and realistically, the hacking job would take five or six hours to complete once he sat down and could actually concentrate. 

“Vanderwood, I already told you-”

“Seven, I’m serious. If you go, I will report this.”

“Then, do what you have to, Vanderwood. I have to do this; I’m the only one who can.” He said quietly. With that, Seven adjusted the bag on his shoulder and walked out the front door. He stopped for a moment to let out the breath he had been holding in. Now he just needed to make it to Rika’s apartment and deal with the security system. Then, he could stop worrying about the bomb, and maybe he could finally get MC off his mind long enough to work. 

--- 

Seven pulled up in front of Rika’s apartment. After parking the car, he paused to rest his head on the steering wheel. This really wasn’t the time to be dawdling, but he was nervous. This would be the first time seeing MC in person. In his heart, he knew what he wished would happen. He wanted to be the one who would make her smile, who would be there to cook her breakfast in the morning when she woke up, who would comfort her when she was having a hard day. But. He knew these were unrealistic dreams; falling in love and living in domestic bliss were not part of the equation when it came to his life. He knew what he had signed up for when joining the agency. He could have no familial ties. He could never have close friends. He could never fall in love. Everyone he made ties with ran the risk of becoming a casualty. He knew all of this, and yet, here he was contemplating risking it all. 

No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Sitting up, he resolved to do what he knew he had to do.  He would avoid MC; he would keep his conversations with her to a minimum. He could play everything he said to her in chat rooms and phone calls up until now as being part of a flirty but unserious nature. He wouldn’t acknowledge his feelings; he would even push her away if he had to. Grunting, Seven held onto his head. This was all speculation; maybe he was freaking out over nothing. Maybe MC didn’t even have feelings for him. Maybe she was flirty and unserious about having a connection with him. 

“No, I have to stop.” He thought to himself. There was no use in all this. Feelings didn’t and wouldn’t matter. 

With that final thought, he got out of the car and began to head upstairs. He stopped in front of the apartment door, his hand raised but hesitating to knock. The door swung open to reveal MC’s face. Surprise registered on her face before turning into a smile. 

“Seven! Come in.” She said warmly. He studied her face for a moment. She was even more breathtaking in person. 

“MC. Uh, thanks.” He said quietly, shifting his eyes to the floor. He moved into the apartment; everything was the same as it had been when Rika was living here. It gave him an eerie feeling to be back here. Moving toward the living room, he set his bag on the table and began pulling out his equipment. Rika’s living room consisted of two couches facing each other with a small table in the middle. He could still recall sitting and talking with Rika in this exact spot less than a year ago. He watched as MC sat on the couch across from him. He busied himself by turning his attention to his computer. 

“I got your voicemail. I didn’t think you would get here so quickly; I was actually getting ready to run to the convenience store. I don’t really have much here for guests to eat.” MC said as she followed behind him. Her voice was soft and comforting and made Seven long to hear her speak more. He watched as MC sat across from him on the opposite couch.

“I won’t be here long. I just need to make some adjustments to the security system.” He said, angling his body away from hers. 

“Oh, how long do you think it will take? I was thinking maybe I could make some lunch, and we could eat together.” He didn’t need to look at her to know she was smiling; he could hear the thoughtfulness in her voice. 

“No. I can’t. I have other things to do once I’m done.” He said shortly. The more she talked to him, the more his resolve wavered. He needed to keep things short and concise and maybe she would quit trying to initiate conversation. 

“Oh, okay-”

“MC, I need to focus. I need to be alone.” He bit his lip, making sure to avert his gaze. He picked up his headphones from the table and placed them around his neck. He hated this already. His heart caught in his throat as he watched her stand up to leave. 

“Um, okay. Yeah, sorry. I know you need to concentrate, so I’ll go read in the other room.” MC’s voice was quiet as she walked out of the room. 

Seven felt like curling into a ball; this was already emotionally taxing, and he had only been here for all of ten minutes. Despite the gnawing feeling in his gut; he took solace in the idea that he could protect her now that he was here. He no longer needed to watch her through the CCTV. If Unknown was going to show up, Seven would be here to stop him.He slid his headphones on, turned on his favorite playlist, and began working on the coding for the apartment. 

--- 

After about three hours, Seven heard the front door close. He jumped up, nearly knocking his computer off the table. Had she left? Where had she gone? What if that wasn’t her?

“MC?” He called out. The apartment was quiet. He searched for his phone frantically, and dialed her number. 

“Seven?” She answered the phone quizzically. 

“Where are you? Did you leave the apartment?”

“Yeah, you looked entranced by your work, so I didn’t want to bother you. I’m on the way to the story... I wanted to cook lunch, and I figured maybe if I made something to eat, you might be hungry too.” 

“MC, come back to the apartment. It’s not safe for you outside right now.” 

“Not safe?” 

“Yes, not safe. We still don’t know what the hacker wants with you-” 

“Seven.” She laughed. “I’ll be fine. I’ve left the apartment plenty of times. I’ll be back soon.” 

“MC.... Okay, please call me if anything happens. Please.” He said reluctantly. He didn’t want to acquiesce; she didn’t know how much danger she was actually in. It made him extremely anxious to think she was out in public by herself right now. 

“I will. I’ll be home soon.” She said happily before hanging up. Seven stared at his phone. He needed to work faster; once the security system was up, he would feel better about her being her alone; he could go back to watching her from a distance. And maybe he could finally get her off of his mind. Sighing, he turned his attention back to his computer; his fingers hovered over the keys, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to actually focus on his work until she came back. He leaned back on the couch, pressing his hands to his face in frustration. Sitting up, he grabbed his phone and logged into the RFA chatroom. If he couldn’t focus, maybe he could distract himself. 

After about thirty minutes, Seven heard the door to the apartment open and saw MC walk in with three bags in her hands. He resisted the urge to offer assistance, knowing now was the time to get back to work.

“I’m back!” She announced. Seven breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to his computer. 

“Welcome back.” He said, pulling his headphones on to give the appearance that he was occupied and uninterested. He did not turn any music on; instead he chose to listen to the sounds of MC in the kitchen. These small moments, he decided, would have to be enough. Turning his attention back to the matter at hand, Seven began working again to restore the apartment’s coding. 

Once he was able to concentrate, the work began to flow, it was easy to zone out and lose track of time. Before he knew it, MC was beside him with a bowl in hand. She leaned over in front of him to place the bowl beside his computer. He was briefly taken aback. MC was so close to him. She was so close that he could reach out and touch her with ease. He could take her hand and enjoy lunch with her; it would be so easy. 

“No. No. No.” He stopped himself. These were dangerous thoughts. She turned to look at him and smiled. He saw her mouth something but was too absorbed in fantasy to register what she had said. Snapping back to reality, he realized that inviting conversation would only lead to trouble. He pointed to his headphones and said,

“Sorry, couldn’t hear you. Thank you for the food, but I need to work now.” 

He watched MC’s face drop slightly as she smiled again and turned to walk away. Once she was out of earshot, he felt himself breathe out heavily; he hadn’t realized that he had been holding his breath. He looked at the bowl of pasta that she had been kind enough to bring him. He wished he had an appetite, but the current situation left him with a deep pit in his stomach. He needed to focus; he just needed to focus. If he could finish by nightfall, she would be safe, and he could go. Turning his attention back to the system once more, he resolved to work faster. 

When Seven looked up again, the sky outside had darkened. He heard footsteps behind him; MC was moving around the house, perhaps looking for something. Over the course of the day, Seven had spread out his things around the living room and the dining room table behind the couch. Notebooks and devices were scattered around, a result of him trying to remember how he had set up the security system in the first place and trying to figure out how to improve it. Behind him, MC had gone quiet. What was she doing? Was she looking through his things? He turned to glance behind him. MC had taken a seat at the dining room table and was looking through one of the books he had brought with him. His heart sank in his chest; it was the storybook he had brought with him, the one that held the floppy disk with the only photos Seven still had of Saeran. He removed his headphones and rose from his seat. He quietly walked up behind MC, and leaning over her, grabbed the book and floppy disk from her hands. 

“Do you enjoy going through other people’s things? This isn’t yours.” He said curtly; his emotions were already running high today. Why had he even brought this book with him? He could’ve left it at home, sure. But what if someone broke in and found it. This one singular floppy disk was the only thing in the world that proved he had attachments. Of course, it put Saeran’s life at risk to hold onto it, but Seven had already given up so much in his life; he wasn’t willing to give up this last attachment to his brother. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just curious about what you were doing-” She stuttered out, but he interrupted her.

“You were curious about what I was doing? I told you what I was doing, and I told you to leave me alone.”  He watched as MC turned toward him with a hurt look. 

“I... I know that. I just - I don’t understand, Seven. You’re different from how you were in the chat rooms. I guess I thought... I don’t know - that maybe you liked me.” 

MC’s voice was quiet as she met his eyes. Her expression was a mixture of curiosity and confusion. He was sure his expression mimicked hers. Why was she doing this now? Why couldn’t she just leave him alone like he had requested. 

“That I liked you? Why would you think that? Because I talked and joked with you? Did it even occur to you that I was just being friendly because you were a new member of the RFA?” 

He watched her eyes as she desperately searched his face for answers, pleading for what he was saying to be different from what he felt. Her gaze weighed on him heavily. He averted his gaze, knowing he couldn’t keep meeting her eyeline if he wanted to maintain his composure. MC’s face scrunched in confusion, and looking up at her, Seven saw tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill over. His heart wrenched at the thought of making her cry. He wanted to be the one who held her when she cried, but instead here he was purposely hurting her with the intent of saving her. It was an ironic concept when he really thought about it. He would hurt her to save her. It seemed so laughable to think of the juxtaposition of how he felt and how he had to act. He turned from her, getting ready to return to the couch and put the final touches on the restoration of the security system. 

“Seven, I don’t understand. I don’t believe you; I don’t know what this is or why you’re pushing me away, but I know that you must feel something for me too.” Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.

“I’m not feeling anything. I can’t afford to feel anything. I’m a dangerous guy, MC. Anyone who gets close to me is in danger.” His voice was deep and angry; his hands were clenched by his side. 

“But Seven-” She stood from where she was sitting. Taking a step, she grabbed his right hand. Seven turned to look at her. 

“MC, just leave me alone.” He said shortly, shaking her hand away. He wanted to scream; he wanted to thrash around in frustration. He wanted to run away from everything he had ever known; he wanted to throw away everything for MC, and yet, here he was pushing her away, lying to her. But instead, he forced himself to turn and moved to take a seat on the couch. He slid his headphones back on and unpaused his playlist.  

“Finish the task. Finish the task. Finish the task.” He thought to himself; he couldn’t afford to focus on MC’s feelings or his own. Her safety came first, and maybe she would heed his warning and leave him alone. He didn’t deserve her feelings anyway. Maybe now she would realize that. 

About thirty minutes later, Seven had finished getting the security system back online. He removed his headphones just in time to hear the system chime:

Special Security System Online.

He stretched his arms above his head, looking at his computer to see the time. It was 11:30 P.M. Where had the day gone? He listened intently to hear if MC might still be awake. But then again, he thought to himself, what did it matter if she was awake. He had been so mean to her earlier; he couldn’t imagine her wanting to speak with him again. No, he would go ahead and pack his things and leave without a word. Gathering the books from the dining room table, he moved to begin packing his bag. 

He heard movement in the kitchen and assumed MC was still awake. He thought about going in to see her, maybe to apologize. No, that wasn’t wise. He needed to maintain his boundaries with her. Then, he heard a glass break in the kitchen. A glass? No, that was the sound of a lot of glass breaking. An alarm began to sound in the apartment. 

Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert. Identifying Intruders, Non-RFA Member. Bomb Sequence Will Begin in 5 Minutes.   

Seven dropped everything and ran toward the kitchen. MC was backed against the wall, her eyes wide in fear. In front of her, he saw a man. The man was standing amongst the broken glass from the window. Seven noted the bleached color of the man’s hair and his piercing blue eyes. He was dressed in black, an intricate tattoo was visible where his jacket fell off his shoulder. How could he have come in here? They were a couple of floors off the ground. Breaking through the window shouldn’t have been possible. 

“Are you the hacker?” Seven asked the man. 

“Am I the hacker?” The man asked in a mocking voice and then laughed. 

“Who are you really? What do you want with MC?” Seven asked more insistently, taking a step forward to position himself between MC and the hacker. At the moment, he was too far to be able to protect her if the hacker acted in an aggressive manner.  

“Now MC, you’ll be coming with me.” The hacker, ignoring his question, stepped toward MC brandishing a knife.

“No, I’m not going anywhere with you. Seven, help me!” She said, stepping back and bumping into the wall behind her. She shot a fearful look toward Seven. He took another slow step, attempting to move without alerting the hacker.

“Not another step, Saeyoung.” The hacker said threateningly. Seven’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks. How could he know that name? Who could he be to know that name? Seven’s eyes searched the hacker’s face, noting the odd familiarity. 

“Seven, do you know him?” MC asked him, but he was frozen. Seven’s eyes were glued to the hacker’s face. He looked familiar, eerily familiar. Could it be? No, of course it couldn’t. Rika had promised that Saeran was safe and living a happy life; she had sent him pictures. There was no way...

“Saeran?” The name fell from his lips before he could think twice. The hacker whirled around toward him. 

“Don’t call me that! You don’t deserve to call me that!” Saeran screamed at Seven.

“Oh my God..” Seven’s voice trailed off. How was this happening? How was his brother here? Why was his brother here? His head began spinning.

“Seven!” MC managed to cry out as Saeran grabbed her, placing one arm around her waist and a knife at her throat. 

“No wait, please, don’t hurt her. Please.” His mouth was dry. MC was in danger, and his brother was here and was the one responsible for attacking the RFA. What did it mean? His thoughts were interrupted by the security system’s alarm:

Scanning for Intruders. Identifying Intruders, Non-RFA Member. Bomb Sequence Will Begin in 1 Minute.   

Seven could see the fear in MC’s eyes. He had to do something. The bomb wasn’t going to scare Saeran away was it. He watched as his brother began to slowly back towards the window with MC in tow. 

“Seven! I love you!” MC shouted; it seemed like a final desperate plea. Did she think that he wouldn’t be able to save her and wanted to die with him knowing her true feelings? His head spun. God, MC, now wasn’t the time to profess your love. Not when he had been desperately trying to push her feelings away all day. For the briefest moment, he thought to himself that he loved her too. But he knew now wasn’t the time or place to sort through these mixed emotions. He had to stay in the moment; any hesitation could result in losing MC forever. 

“I know.” He replied quietly. Saeran continued to edge toward the window, his eyes darting wildly around the apartment. It appeared that things weren’t exactly going to plan for Saeran. He had probably planned to attack MC while the security system was disabled, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the bomb going off. 

“Shit.” Saeran mumbled under his breath. Seven watched as his brother weighed the options. With the timer ticking quickly, did he still take the chance to kidnap MC, knowing there was a possibility that he would die in the process? Did he make his escape with the intention of coming after MC at a different point in time? 

“Saeran, listen. You don’t have time to escape with MC. Just let her go. There is less than a minute before the bomb goes off; if you’re still in the apartment when the time is up, we’re all going to die.” Seven said calmly, maintaining eye contact with Saeran. 

Frustrated, Saeran grunted and threw MC forward. He moved toward the window and looking over his shoulder said, 

“This isn’t over, Saeyoung. I will be back.”

With that ominous threat left hanging in the air, Saeran disappeared out the window. MC stumbled forward, and he caught her in his arms.

Scanning for Intruders. Scanning for Intruders. No Intruders Identified. Bomb Sequence Deactivated.   

Seven sighed in relief. His legs felt weak, like he could just collapse from exhaustion right then and there. He brought MC down to the floor with him. His hands cupped her face. His eyes searched hers, looking for an answer. 

“Are you alright?” He asked urgently. 

“I’m alright. Seven, are you okay?” She asked him. A wave of relief washed over him, and despite himself, he hugged her. She was so close to him now; he breathed in her scent, a mixture of what he could only describe as sunshine and citrus. He closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the warmth of her embrace and the relief that came with knowing she was safe in his arms. She returned the embrace, burying her face into his shoulder, and the two of them sat like that for a few minutes. Seven pulled away first, knowing that there was more that needed to be dealt with; no matter how much he might want to, he couldn’t hide in her arms forever. Moreover, he knew she deserved an explanation. For so long, he had held onto so many secrets, and now with Saeran added into the mix, he felt like he was going to collapse from all the weight on his shoulders. 

“Seven...” MC met his eyeline. He resisted the urge to look away. He knew he couldn’t keep the facade up much longer. 

“MC, look, I-” 

“Seven, I-” 

They both began speaking simultaneously, which brought a bit of laughter from the two. Seven gestured for MC to go first, and she was quiet for a moment. She looked at the floor for a moment then back at him, steeling herself. 

“Seven, I meant what I said back there. I do love you.” 

“MC, I don’t know that I can return your feelings. I told you; I’m a dangerous guy. I work in a field where I have made and continue to make many enemies. Being with me is a massive risk. I can’t put you in harm’s way just because of the way I feel.” His voice trailed off. He looked away from her again; he wouldn’t put her at risk. He couldn’t. 

“I can take care of myself, Seven. I know that there are risks that come with being with you, but I know that what I feel for you is worth any risk.” MC’s voice was soft, but he could hear the sincerity in her words. 

“I- I don’t know that I deserve such feelings. My life has been a mess thus far, and I have done some terrible things. I’m not worth your time or your love.” His head hung low; MC reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. 

“I know for a fact that you are worth my time and my love. I trust you to keep me safe, and I know-” 

“MC..” He cut her off; he released her hand and brought both of his up to cup her face. His thumb caressed her cheek, and after a moment, his lips met hers. Her lips were soft against his. He pulled away to make eye contact with her. 

“I love you too.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment, a smile playing on his lips. 

“I’m sorry about my behavior; I-” 

“Thank you for apologizing, but I know that you did what you felt like you had to.” MC cut him off mid-apology. 

He was taken aback slightly. How could he have gotten so lucky to have met someone who understood his intentions, who was willing to look past the dark spots in his life? He felt both awkward and grateful; this feeling of putting trust in and of giving an intimate part of yourself to someone else left him with an uneasy feeling. But he knew this was what he wanted. Consequences be damned. He would deal with the fallout of everything tomorrow. Standing up, he offered MC his hand to help her up. Once she was on her feet, she wrapped her arms around his neck and caught him in a kiss. Seven turned, so that MC was between him and the wall. This time, he wasn’t willing to pull away so easily. Pushing her against the wall, his lips met hers with a hunger that was unfamiliar to him. He wanted more of her. He had spent so long telling himself that he couldn’t have her, that he wasn’t worthy of love. But in this moment, those feelings didn’t matter. He loved her. He loved her dearly. He broke from her lips to trail kisses slowly down her neck.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He said as he moved between spots. Her soft moans made him smile. She buried her head in his shoulder and giggled. 

“What?” He asked coyly.

“Nothing, I’m just so happy. I’m happy that I can be with you like this.” She said, looking up to meet his eyes. She smiled at him, and he returned her smile.  

“I’m happy too, but you know what would make me even happier?” He asked with a demure smile on his face. 

“What?” He watched her eyes, watched how her eyebrows furrowed when she asked a question. He watched her expression change from moment to moment. Her smiles were cute. Her voice was comforting. She was so beautiful to him. He loved everything about her, and he knew he wanted to remember this moment with her. He would imprint this memory in his mind, so he would have something to look back on if things were different tomorrow. 

“This.” He said as he picked her up; MC laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her to the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He laid her softly on the bed and crawled over to lay next to her. She snuggled up to him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. For a few minutes, he quietly listened to her breathing next to him; when her breathing dropped off and became slower, he knew she had fallen asleep. His mind still raced with all the prospects of the day. His brother was working as a hacker against the RFA. How had that happened? Wasn’t V supposed to be watching over him? Why hadn’t V said anything to him about his brother’s actions? And then there was the agency. He was now a fugitive from the only job he’d ever known. While he and MC were safe here for now; it wouldn’t take long before the agency found the apartment. Vanderwood was a cruel mistress and wouldn’t show him any mercy. He knew he still had a lot he needed to fill MC in on too, but all of this could wait until tomorrow. Though this really wasn’t the time to be engaging in downtime, he wasn’t going to let this moment go to waste. He pulled MC closer, and she responsively mumbled his name in her sleep. He closed his eyes and focused on her breathing until it eventually lulled him to sleep too.

[mariposalass]

Deep Pain, Deep Sorrow

Summary: The day he died the first time has come, and Philip is having nightmares of reliving the events in his mind. It is not really great, not great at all.

Setting: Mari and co.’s house in Daly City, California, present day midnight; Weehawken Dueling Grounds in Weehawken, New Jersey and the Church family house in New York City, New York, November 20-24, 1801.

Notes: Written up in the last minute in commemoration of RL Philip Hamilton’s death by gun dueling on this day 218 years ago. There are Hamilton musical spoilers and mentions of death, guns, & blood loss along with slight mention of alcohol & hate speech against Alexander Hamilton: if you’re not comfortable with any of them, then skip this and finding something more cheerful instead. Although the ending doesn’t end on a sour note though… Also tagging @husband-of-lucoa​ since I’m basing this on a RP we had on Discord with Marina’s old life dilemma before as a main theme.

Tags: character death, mention of guns, salty language, mention of blood and blood loss, existential crisis, Defying Time, Renewed Potential, Hamilton: An American Musical, Hamilton spoilers, implied mention of alcohol, hate speech, George Eacker bashing (if this is a thing), real life history

It all started with a speech, a goddamn speech on the Fourth of July nonetheless. Bloody Eacker had all the nerves to bash his father like that: no respect to the man who had to work hard from a rough life of illegitimacy and having one parent died & another far away to help bringing a nation out of the shackles of Great Britain’s control, in front of a bunch of people wanting him dead literally or otherwise, poor Theo’s figuratively blind and ambitious father included. Surely, if that fool had known the man personally much longer, maybe it have been less abrasive, but no, he was a foolish twat. 4 months had passed since that slanderous speech and he & an old friend, Stephen Price, had confronted him, both younger men being under some alcohol for some reason, in the Park Theater about that rancid work of words. A verbal fight has borne out of this confrontation and the final straw came in the form of that bastard calling him and Stephen ‘rascals’, which had the young men to challenge him in a dueling match.

Back then, most men, even the smartest and most noble of the lot, wouldn’t simply settle things in a calm and logical manner; with pride on the line, they dealt arguments with small death machines, guns loaded with bullets that could spell death to the unfortunate person on the other side. Eacker would take on Price first a day after, then him on the next day. Four shoots were heard across in Weehawken, but no one died that day. The next day came, and it was him against the foolish twat; with some advice from his father, he had started it with a delope, throwing his first shoot, a move that would ultimately cost him life. Eacker had done the same, for a fool like him, it too was a smart move then.

A minute later, neither one dared to make a move, but then, Eacker aimed for him and shot him above the right hip and into the left arm; he did shot back, but the bullet was useless. The fired bullet from Eacker’s gun was lodged to his arm, spasms came in involuntarily. Everyone was wondering and panicking while Eacker was blindly soaking in this false victory, yet he knew that the victory that fool was enjoying is fleeting and was trying his best to remain calm and collected as Death is slowly arriving at his doorsteps and he was bleeding profusely. Soon, word was spread of the duel and he was then rushed to Aunt Angelica and Uncle John’s house in the city center; Angelica, while still shocked by her nephew’s misfortune, wrote that his attitude during this trying time was unbelievably remarkable for a 19 year old nearing Death.

Horrified by the news of what Eacker did to his firstborn son and rocked by anxiety & worry like every responsible caring parent would, Alexander rushed to Dr. Hosack’s home to ask for medical help, only to learn that the good doctor was already ahead of him at the Church residence by this time, staying with his family to recover before heading to his sister in law’s place. By the time he and Eliza reached him, he was paler than the moon itself, his face ashen from the near loss of blood, almost haggard in appearance.

The older Hamilton was in despair, sobbing and clutching Dr. Hosack by the hand & salted tears running down from his watery eyes, and the middle Schuyler sister, pregnant with her final child at 3 months, even more distraught than she would let on. Pulse was faint, but still heard by Alexander, and yet time was running out for his eldest son. They had stayed by his side all the night along, 14 hours and a confession of faith later however, Death has taken Philip Hamilton away from the world and from his family at 5 AM. Only 19 years old.

He had bolted up from his bed after so many flashes running across his mind, waking up screaming and causing his roommate Ahkmenrah to wake up from his slumber as well. His horrified screams could be heard all over the house, alarming everyone trying to get a good night’s rest. The former pharaoh was startled by the stressful look in his friend’s face and checked if he was okay. Philip honestly couldn’t hide how he was feeling, but didn’t explain it to him fully until everyone else went inside their shared bedroom.

Mari has never seen him this stressed out (beside crunch time on news article deadlines and getting confused over modern day things) in the 11 months they have been together, she had sat beside him and sheepishly held onto his hand as a calming measure. Kirby, saddened to see him in the state he was in, flew onto his bed and hugged him by the side of his torso.

“Hey, what’s happening to you, mate?” Harry questioned him, sensing that there must be something that left him this freaked out.

“Yeah, we want to know why,” Kairi chimed in.

“Come on, Philip, there is never a bad thing to admit it,” Mari gently reminded him, “We’re all ears for you.”

“Nightmares, those nightmares of that duel, agh!” he groaned in agony, “I never thought of reliving those awful memories of it all over again. I didn’t expect it to send my family on a downward slope after that. It was horrible to think about it in your sleep.”

“Well, you told us all about it many times for a long time now, still there is no need to hold back just because of some a-hole trying to peg down your dad like that and shoot you in return,” Mari sighed, not knowing what else to say in return and trying to fight back in tears from her eyes.

“Philip, please don’t feel bad about that. I know that it was very foolish of both you and that Eacker guy to try to shoot each other over a speech and just sort those issues out yourselves, but honestly, I didn’t think that it was all your fault,” Issa tried to reassure him, “Besides, he’s already dead and probably regretting that he shouldn’t harass your father with that speech in the first place.”

“Your father sounds like a very important man indeed, Philip,” Ahk pointed out, “You and your siblings must have looked up to him so much. He have done some messed up things in the past like that affair thing, yes, but never a horribly terrible person at all. I would have loved to ask him questions about how he helped out in freeing and growing this nation and independence with several like-minded men.”

“Poyo...” Kirby sniffed in sympathy as he cried.

“Look, Philip dear. The past is the past, we know that we couldn’t turn back the hands of time to stop it from happening, even the Doctor couldn’t stop it in a couple of cases whenever he goes time-traveling. But it doesn’t mean that you should never be defined by those events. You got this second chance in life and you can still enjoy life even more than ever, so you shouldn’t worry about everything the second time around,” Mari calmly reassured her dearest beloved before remembering something similar that had happened to some friends a year ago, “Funny enough, this whole situation you’re in is quite similar to Marina’s case: Dyl’s friends at the Fortress Team found her unconscious by the sea and couldn’t find anyone willing to pick her up and look after her until Dylan and Lucoa (and later Lady Palutena) stepped in and took her into their large family. Even she was struggling with recovering from her past mistakes for some time, but since you came back and befriended her, she doesn’t have to worry too much about them. She still gets nightmares once in a while, but beyond that, she is doing well.”

“Well, I suppose that I should follow her example then?” he meekly asked her and everyone else in the room.

“I don’t see a problem with that, Pip,” Issa smiled back in response, “She was the first person to reach out to you since you made that public reveal of your return, so she is likely to listen all about it.”

“Since you did in a way helped her recover from her past mistakes and get help from her folks, perhaps we can contact Dylan, Lucoa, and Lady Palutena by morning and see if she can drop by to help you out as well,” Harry added, “Or you can talk to me as well. I have been through a lot of trauma in my life as well, especially with the Killing Cruse, the Horcrux Hunt, the Battle of Hogwarts, and after I disown my canon realm for good. Seriously, if you have some nightmares again, just let us know: we’re all here for you and Mari is always there for you as much as you’re always there for her.

The kind support and reception he is receiving are too overwhelming yet welcoming as everyone gathered around him to give him a warm hug, Mari’s being the tightest of all. He never felt this much closer to home than with this unlikely group of people, animals, and what have you, but it is probably true in a way. It might tempting to ask Ahk to bring his folks back to the world of the living, but that would too much hassle and trouble to ask for. The whole 11 months felt like quite a wild ride for sure and yet it is the most fulfilling he has ever lived through, and he couldn’t ask for more than find his place among these strange modern day waters and have an amazing life with his new unlikely ‘family’ and his beloved darling.

The End

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO

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