#afro roxy rights

[dingodad]

Does anyone remember that Lord English himself isn’t even composed of the original versions of the souls that make him? He’s the son of paradox clones, right? That means B2 Jack is the one who actually contains the original souls of Lord English, since he was directly possessed. English has been diluted by being a paradoxical copy, and being part cueball. His creation is not unlike that of breeding Genesis frogs. (The end frog does not chronologically branch off from the original frogs, he is a paradoxical copy of all of them combined. I’d argue that he’s almost like the inverse to a Genesis frog.) So the destiny of the original Caliborn, Equius, Lil Hal and Gamzee is to be decapitated by Dave and explode into a black hole. Caliborn brags about how he will become all powerful, but he will doesn’t get to do that. The paradox slime version of himself born in a lab is destined to become the laser skull epilepsy pharoah hulk man, not him. Not that any of this really matters or changes that much, I just noticed that it was odd. This all adds up right? I didn’t forget anything that would make this not make sense?

you are, on a technical level, completely right: at no point in the Pharaoh Hulk's* timeline was he ever literally Lil Cal. he emerges straight from Doc Scratch, who was only ever a clone of Lil Cal. but you're making a critical error by thinking of the Hulk and B2 Jack as if they're meant to be two different guys.

*I've always known this iteration of Lord English as the "Mobster Hulk" version - google seems to be telling me it's basically only my posts that use this phrasing but I'm guessing I must have picked it up on the forums.

I won't give you the long-winded explanation about Ultimate Selves and how it's the idea of a person that matters more than the specific body they inhabit because I already have about a dozen posts on the subject and I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing it by now. so I wanna focus on two specific and related reasons why "Real Lord English" and "Copy of Lord English" is a false dichotomy, based specifically in an area of Homestuck's worldbuilding that doesn't really get talked about so much:

Jack Noir's version of Lil Cal is just a copy too! Roxy banished the one containing Lord English's soul into nonexistence, so that in Caliborn's words it will "FLUTTER THROUGH THE SHADOWS FOR ETERNITY. SURFACING IN THE NIGHTMARES OF THE UNSUSPECTING." Gamzee is not a Thief of Void, he can't steal things back out of the darkness; he's simply a psychic whose chucklevoodoos can "amplify fears through dreams." The Lil Cal that emerges in Dave's dreams, is adopted by his Bro, and one day makes the journey to Jack's prison cell is just a manifestation of Dave's fear of puppets; the one that Roxy banished is still out there.

First rule of jujus, bro: "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" "if there ever appears to be more than one of the same, it is only a mirage of caUsality!"

cultured readers will be able to draw the line between the two phrases i've put special emphasis on. Homestuck uses the terms existing terms "voodoo" and "juju" to deliberately evoke an anthropological concept which is found around the world but is most pop-culturally associated with African and Afro-Carribean spirituality: Lil Cal is a fetish. his power comes not from the fact that he is composed of some special material (or because, as you suggest, he has some kind of unique or special genes), but from the fact that spiritual power is ascribed to him. think of a religious idol; there can be a million idols to the same one deity, but the power of each idol will be exactly the same, because each has the same spiritual significance.

put in overly-simplistic terms which aren't necessarily accurate but speak to a recurring theme in Homestuck: a juju works because of the belief that it works.

this is what Calliope and Caliborn mean when they speak of "bad juju", some kind of mystical force which Lil Cal is filled with. the "juju" isn't the object at all; it's an enchantment associated with the object. Calliope says a juju can't ever be destroyed, and yet Lil Cal is torn to shreds and repaired on multiple occasions - it's the magic, the juju, that persists. this is the only way an object with a self-perpetuating origin could possibly exist, or else the object would just keep becoming more and more worn with each loop of its timeline.

Scratch and Caliborn both say it: "Instances of [Scratch] have spawned in countless universes", just as Lil Cal will continue to infiltrate the dreams of infinite children and take Caliborn "FROM UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE." importantly, it's implied actually quite early on in the comic that you can't really "clone" a "soul", because paradox clones kind of follow similar rules to jujus; there can only be one TRUE clone, who will always travel back in time to become their own origin, and all other clones are "MALFORMED MUTANTS" with no bearing on the timeline. so the exact circumstances through which Cal arrives in each universe, be it via ectobiology or clown voodoo, don't matter: every copy is either a) inert or b) actually the same Lil Cal at a different point in its circuitous timeline.

in other words - thanks to a time loop of his own orchestration! - all versions of Lord English have to be decapitated and/or collapse into a black hole at the end of their lifespan because they all have to ultimately return to the void. you're really not that far off the mark in that there is a tragedy in the fact that Caliborn believes he will "GET STRONGER. AND OLDER. AND BIGGER. AND BUFFER!" each time he destroys a universe. the tragedy is just that he thinks turning into Mobster Hulk is the end goal when in fact by making himself immortal he has ensured there IS no end goal: he's trapped being reborn as new Lil Cals in new universes forever and ever. no matter how many brief excursions he takes out into the universe to play the villain, his essence is trapped in the void for all time.

[fatherfigurefusion]

My personal design headcanons for the choir (but I don't use the 2016 cast as inspiration)...

(Bet you can't guess my favorite cast!)

Uniforms: (primary inspirations: McCarter Theatre, Chance Theatre, and Roxy's Downtown) dark blue and silver argyle sweater vests (with their school's insignia on the front) over white long-sleeved dress shirts and red ties/ribbons, grey pants for the boys, grey skirts for the girls

Ocean: (primary inspirations: Jackie Wilberton, Juliana Balzano, Addison Ward, slight inspiration from Nat Beaumont) 5 ft 4 in, long and wavy brown hair with a headband, has bangs, pale skin, a wide smile with a noticeable snaggletooth, wears a black blazer over her sweater vest and a sparkly red bowtie instead of a ribbon, black tights, and brown loafers.

Noel: (primary inspirations: Erwin Guerrero, Benjamin Michael Hall, slight inspiration from Ricky Johnson, Miclo Gonzalez, and Andres Lagang) 5 ft 11 in, Mexican, long and straight black hair that is often in either a bun or a low ponytail, chubby build, tanned skin, nails painted red, lets his hair loose and switches to a black dress, red feather boa, ripped lace leggings and arm warmers, and black heels, when playing Monique.

Mischa: (primary inspirations: Wyman Wheeler, Eli Mayer, Brad Hutchinson, slight inspiration from Jared Machado) 5 ft 9 in, curly dirty blonde hair in a faux-hawk, has stubble all over his chin and is attempting to grow a soul patch, slightly pudgy and stout build with "tattoos" scribbled all over his skin, pale skin with noticeable eyebags, wears a blue hoodie over his dress shirt instead of a sweater vest, stuffs his tie in his pants pocket, has rings on his fingers and a golden heart necklace that holds a picture of Talia in it.

Ricky: (primary inspirations: Ciara Kenny, Yannick-Robin Eike Mirko, Bennet Preuss, slight inspiration from Josh Otero and Link Hagerty) 5 ft 3 in, half-Puerto Rican, wears a backwards cap and glasses, shoulder-length curly dark brown hair, slightly-tanned skin, perpetual cat smile, wears black fingerless gloves that help with their joint issues, short and skinny build, is often seen with either forearm crutches or in a wheel chair, switches to a galaxy printed bodysuit with a purple and silver jacket and a matching star-studded and fur-lined cape over it, grey boots with cat paw prints on the bottom, clear purple glasses and white cat ears on their head, when performing "Space Age Bachelor Man"

Jane Doe: (primary inspirations: Em Flosi, Mary Jane Oken, Scout Graham, slight inspiration from Bryn Studer, Sara Dukes, and Janelle Catherina) 6 ft, primarily based on a Raggedy Ann doll, is tall and gangly, flops around like a ragdoll when she moves, has slightly charred red hair that falls over her eyes in uneven twintails, a stitched-up smile and cracks all over her face, wears an oversized white sweater that's charred and torn-up over her equally charred and torn-up school uniform, has mismatched black and white socks, and one missing shoe.

Constance: (primary inspirations: Tiffany Polite, Zoë Lewis-McLean, slight inspiration from Sereniti Patterson and Melissa Goldman) 5 ft 3 in, African-American (is part First Nations), has long curly black hair with two afro puffs on the top, the left puff is dyed pink while the right is dyed blue, the bottom of her hair is dyed purple, chubby build, wears a dark blue cardigan with a rainbow design instead of a sweater vest, wears short white socks and blue Converses on her feet.

[jayesprite]

smiles and waves.

young bro strider (dirk sprite) edit with a leather jacket (sleeves rolled up&fingerless gloves if there's arms) and a grey "🚫" symbol on his shirt?

also snakebites and a scar running up his right cheek (left from reader pov)

ermm if you don't mind two rqs in one can i also have young mom lalonde (roxy sprite) with more afro-textured hair with a puff tied to the side over her normal hairstyle

& a pink scarf with a wineglass shirt symbol and legwarmers?

they're toxic doomed moirails /hj tysm

jacket & symbols edited from @deepseaspriteblog :)

[ex-january]

alpha kid counterpart to my sprite edits lmao beta trolls to come soon

[somethingimworkingon]

Zanele Muholi, Tate Modern

Walking into the Zanele Muholi exhibition at Tate Modern is like discovering another country.

In 2017 Muholi’s ongoing self-portrait series, Somnyama Ngonyama/Hail the Dark Lioness, was exhibited in London’s Autograph Gallery. In press reviews and posters on the tube that autumn, the images were unmissable and unmistakeable: stark black and white photographs of an impassive face crowned with Brillo pads or clothes pegs, festooned with vacuum cleaner hoses. At the time, Autograph wrote, the artist: “uses her body as a canvas to confront the politics of race and representation… Gazing defiantly at the camera, Muholi challenges the viewer’s perceptions while firmly asserting her cultural identity on her own terms: black, female, queer, African.”

Fast forward to 2020, and Tate Modern’s major Zanele Muholi exhibition. Visiting hours at the museum flicker in and out of existence as we navigate COVID lockdowns – now you can come! No, wait, sorry, you can’t. Try rebooking for a month’s time.

When I finally squeaked in, in early December, I expected more Dark Lionesses. I had a vague idea that Zanele Muholi was a bit like a South African Cindy Sherman.

I was wrong.

This exhibition shows the breadth of Muholi’s practice, of which the self-portraits are just one strand. The range and energy of the work is astounding. Especially given that in 2012 their studio was burgled and five years of work on hard drives was stolen.

Another mental adjustment: Muholi’s pronouns are they/them/theirs.

Born in Umlazi, South Africa, in 1972, at the height of Apartheid, Zanele’s father died when they were a baby and their mother, Bester, a domestic worker, had to leave her eight children for employment in a white household. Zanele was brought up by extended family. They started working as a hairdresser, then studied photography at Market Photo Workshop in Johannesburg, graduating in 2003, and going on to be awarded their MFA in Documentary Media from Ryerson University in Toronto in 2009.

On returning to South Africa they started to document the lives of the LGBTQI+ community.

Aftermath (2004)

The exhibition opens with a group of deceptively gentle images. In the first, Aftermath (2004), a torso is cropped from waist to knees, hands modestly clasped in front of Jockey shorts, a huge scar running down the person’s right leg almost like a piece of body art. In another, Ordeal (2003), hands wring out a cloth in an enamel basin of water placed on a floor. A third image shows a cropped, seated figure, again waist to thighs, hands folded in their lap, plastic hospital ties around their wrists. These pictures have a softness and beauty which completely belies the fact that their subjects are all survivors of sexual violence and “corrective rape”.

As the caption to the last picture, Hate crime survivor I, Case number (2004) explains, “Corrective rape is a term used to describe a hate crime in which a person is raped because of their perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. The intended consequence of such acts is to enforce heterosexuality and gender conformity.” This horrific practice is by no means unique to South Africa, but the term seems to have originated there – feminist activist Bernedette Muthien used it during an interview with Human Rights Watch in 2001 – and its effects on the community resonate throughout this exhibition.

Ordeal (2003)

They don’t, however, dominate. While the exhibition starts by showing the evils of intolerance of gender nonconformity, Muholi goes on to reclaim, elevate and celebrate that same nonconformity.

With Being (2006 – ongoing) we move on to photographs of naked bodies entwined – again tightly cropped, again soft black and white, but now without outside interference. They are sensual, personal, and owned. A series of portraits of two female lovers, Katlego Mashiloane and Nosipho Lavuta (2007) switches to colour and full figures. The couple sit entwined, laughing: they kiss, and bathe side by side standing in an enamel basin, in a warm, defiant echo of the scene in Ordeal (2003) across the room.

Katlego Mashiloane and Nosipho Lavuta, Ext.2, Lakeside, Johannesburg (2007)

The series Brave Beauties, started in 2014, is “a series of portraits of trans women, gender non-conforming and non-binary people. Many of them are also beauty pageant contestants.” The queer beauty pageant is many things: a celebration – and redefinition – of beauty, a declaration of independence by contestants, a challenge to “heteronormative and white supremacist cultures,” and an attempt, as Muholi puts it, “to change mind-sets in the communities [the contestants] live in, the same communities where they are most likely to be harassed or worse.”

Melissa Mbambo, Durban, South Beach (2017). Melissa Mbambo is a trans woman and beauty queen, Miss Gay South Africa 2017

Roxy Msizi Dlamini, Parktown, Johannesburg (2018)

Akeelah Gwala, Durban (2020)

These portraits are made collaboratively, Muholi and the subjects choosing clothing, location and poses together. Some of them, like the picture of Roxy Msizi Dlamini (2018) have the quality of a classic glamorous studio shot. Others, like Akeeleh Gwala, Durban (2020), posing in a bikini against a scruffy brick wall in what seems to be a deserted brick alleyway, are a reminder of the vulnerability of the subject. Akeelah Gwala’s “Testimony” in the exhibition catalogue says: “I am 24 years old. I am a transgender woman. Growing up was very difficult because your parents think this is a boy… I was raped when I was 16 years old…” The rapist, a well-known pastor, threatened Akeelah’s family, forcing them out of their home. Akeelah refers to Muholi as “Sir Muholi” and says, “I have taken part in several beauty pageants. I perform because as a Brave Beauty, it is important to be visible and make others know about us and respect us as human beings.”

Miss Lesbian I-VII, Amsterdam (2009)

The theme of beauty pageants also features in the series of self-portraits Miss Lesbian I-VII, Amsterdam (2009), where Muholi casts themself as a beauty queen, an early identification with the wider community prefiguring Brave Beauties. The 2009 series brings together several of Muholi’s themes: the beauty pageant and the fashion/fashion magazine world; who gets to perform and who gets to watch; who gets to choose what beauty means? And, as an aside that may sound trivial but isn’t, kitchen utensils as headgear.

As the exhibition unfolds, we discover other projects. Muholi describes themselves as a visual activist, and they have a large network of collaborators, including the collective Inkanyiso (“Light” or “Illuminate” in isiZulu), a non-profit organisation focused on queer visual activism. We see images documenting marches and protests, weddings and funerals, and “After Tears” – gatherings held after burials to celebrate the life of the lost loved one.

Nathi Dlamini at the After Tears of Muntu Masombuka’s funeral, KwaThema, Springs, Johannesburg (2014)

Death is a constant presence in Muholi’s community and work. The largest space in this exhibition is given to Faces and Phases (2006 – ongoing), a collection of portraits – 500, and counting. The images “celebrate, commemorate and archive the lives of Black lesbians, transgender and gender non-conforming individuals.” People appear more than once. Some spots on the walls are empty, marking a portrait yet to be taken or a participant no longer there. One wall is dedicated to those who have passed away.

Not only is this a powerful and moving project, it’s an extraordinarily beautiful set of pictures. As are the last works in the show, the series that started in 2012: Somnyama Ngonyama, Hail the Dark Lioness.

In this work, Muholi has darkened their skin and whitened their eyes, and composed the picture in the manner of a classical, perfectly-lit studio portrait, posing with found objects as “costume” – a footstool as a helmet, say. There is so much to unpick in these images – references to colonialism, Apartheid, to the politics of race and representation, to femininity and “women’s work”.  Muholi presents us with a kaleidoscope of views of injustice, equal parts beautiful and brutal. The photographs were created in different parts of the world, at different times, combining what could almost be witty accessorising with intense cultural and political commentary.

Quinso, The Sails, Durban (2019)

The intellectual focus of every picture is slightly different. Zamile, KwaThema (2016) shows Muholi draped in a striped blanket, as used in South African prisons during Apartheid. In Quinso, The Sails, Durban (2019) Muholi’s hair is adorned with silvery Afro combs, a symbol of African and African diaspora cultural pride. In Nolwazi II, Nuoro, Italy (2015) their hair is stuffed with pens – a reference to the “pencil test” whereby, under Apartheid, if a pencil pushed into a person’s hair fell out they were “classified as white”.

Nolwazi II, Nuoro, Italy (2015)

As mentioned above, Muholi calls themselves a visual activist rather than an artist – though galleries, like Tate Modern, might beg to disagree. Walking through this exhibition, I came away with the impression that their work is on the intersection of art and documentary photography – but also that everything is documentary: everything is story telling, and bearing witness, and the place where “documenting the community” and “expressing oneself as an artist” is continually blurred.

Maybe it’s not just like discovering a new country: maybe Zanele Muholi is showing us a whole new world.

Zanele Muholi is at Tate Modern until May 31, 2021

[leahlillith]

i hope this doesn't sound rude i'm just kinda venting but. don't you ever feel tired of the hair cc in the sims? all the pretty girl hair, straight long hair, white girl hair? sometimes i wanna see messy ugly mullets, shaved sides, choppy hair, winona in welcome home roxy carmichael hair, deathhawks, sasha banks at ringside fest 2019 hair, textured hair, cornrows, afros that look good! not like those awful balls the game has! i understand that some of these styles are hard to create, but god i wish i saw more diversity. maybe i'm just not looking in the right places, or maybe we should all make more efforts. i'm just a little frustrated in general

Believe me I know what you are talking about. I, myself, would also want to create some more different hairstyles, but those different hairstylse are often hardly doable to make them look right and be suitable for the game. I am in love with natural black hair and I wouldn’t mind highest polycount of it was possible to make it decently work it the game. I am also in love with the viking kind of hairstyles with crazy braids creating crazy and beautiful structures. But then We, as creators, have to remember that people want in their games something, that won’t crash their game. 

 I am not sure if this will make you feel less frustrated,but often the fact that we don’t have certain things in the game, means it is impossible to create it the correct way, so you can use it comfortably in game without saying “lord, that looks like shit”. 

You have no idea how many hairstyles I trashed, just beacuse I wasn’t able to reduce the polycount or they has just terrible transparency issues. It is as irritating for me as it is for you, believe me. Though... I can and will try to do some mullets and cornrows... I will find a way to make it look good^^ 

[biromantickarkat]

(id under the cut)

[id: a digital drawing of roxy and dave, standing next to eachother, smiling and looking towards the right. dave has brown skin, white hair thats shaved on the left side, lip piercings, wearing a cropped baggy red hoodie with the word “time” on the chest in white, along with the time aspect symbol on the ends of the sleeves and shoulders, a black shirt underneath, red sweats with a white waistband and black stripes on the sides, and a half nonbinary half greyro pride pin. shown with his left arm at his side and twirling one of the hoodies strings around his other hands index. roxy has dark brown skin, afro - like white hair, a nose piercings, pink eyeshadow, wearing a cropped baggy blue hoodie with lighter blue and white stripes on the sides of the sleeves and a strip across the chest, with blue and white stars dots and hearts scattered on the ends of the sleeves and on the chest, a black shirt underneath, ripped grey jeans with the holes decorated with fluffy looking black cloth and black stars dots and hearts as well , along with a white string tied around her waist, and a nonbinary pride pin, shown holding up both of her hands at chest level. the background is a light grey, with a messy red border around roxy, and a messy pink border around dave. end id]

[lockedstuck]

sorrow that you keep

March 2021 - Sollux Captor

“Vitals!” Dirk announces, rapping on your door with his knuckles. “C’mon, let’s get this over with so I can serve breakfast!”

When you walk out of your room, there’s already a line leading out of the treatment room. The person in front of you, a dark-skinned kid with an Angela Davis-style afro - Karkat, you think his name is - curses up a blue streak while he waits in line.

“I don’t see why I had to get a prissy fucking bastard with insomnia as my goddamn roommate. I didn’t ask for any of this fucking shit. Fucking involuntary status, fucking dumbshit Eridan, I hope this fucking hospital burns down.”

It’s too early to put up with this guy, especially with the migraine you woke up with.

“Not tryna piss you off or anything but do you think you could keep it down with your tirade?”

If looks could kill, the glare Karkat shoots you would have rendered you to a pile of smoldering ash.

“I haven’t had a cigarette in six days, it’s seven oh fuck in the morning, my roommate wakes up seventeen times a night, and I might be losing my job because my shithead brother signed me into this fucking place, so you can go straight the fuck to hell,” Karkat replies.

“Are you this obnoxious later in the day, or did they just forget to give you your ativan last night?”

“I don’t even take ativan, dumbfuck.” He squares up. Maybe if he weren’t five foot one, you’d actually be afraid. “I’ll knock you out if you keep talking, though.”

Behind you, a guy with eyes so dark that they might be violet moves to plant a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. It’s your roommate, Gamzee Makara, who appears to sleep for fifteen hours a day. Karkat surprisingly refrains from flinching or scowling. You probably wouldn’t scowl at this guy if you had the opportunity either; he’s easily six foot four, his hair curling around his ears and sticking out worse than Karkat’s.

“Now there’s no reason to get up an’ motherfucking truculent with the new guy so early in the morning.”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Makara, if you tell me to calm down and wait for the morning miracles, I’ll kill you too.”

“There’s no need to wait, Karbro. The sunrise is a miracle in and of itself. When I looked at the ceiling in my room, I saw miracles. Everywhere.”

“They need to put you on haldol, man.”

“I don’t need no helldogs telling me what to do. I just go with the flow.”

“Of course,” Karkat says, almost fondly. “You and your motherfucking miracles.”

When it’s nearly Karkat’s turn for vitals, Dirk escorts Roxy over to the nurses’ station. She blows a kiss at Karkat, who raises his hand in half-salute. Ignacio walks out of the charting room and takes a look at her.

“Miss Lalonde, I have medication for you. This’ll help with the shakes, hypertension, and sweating.”

Roxy puts her hands on her hips and winks at him. “Again, cutiepie?”

Ignacio rolls his eyes at her and shakes his head, his mohawk moving slightly with the motion. He hands her a medication cup and a paper cup of water. She swallows her medication down fluidly, without drinking any of the water. That has to be an xbox achievement.

During breakfast, as Eridan continues to scowl and bitch about his lack of breakfast (he has ECT today), and Karkat tells him to stop being an overdramatic fuckass before he stabs him with a fork, Dr. Vandayar pulls you aside for one of his “no big deal” discussions.

Otherwise known as morning check-in.

Truth be told, you rather like Dr. V, or Krishna, which is what he told you that you could call him, even though he has a doctorate.

He got you access to sharps, your body wash, and your clothes. He means well, and aside from when he checks in every morning, he doesn’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.

“How are you doing today, Mr. Captor?” he asks.

You shrug. “I’m okay, I guess. Pretty much the same as yesterday.”

Then come the “one to tens”, as you’ve come to think of them. Krishna has his little clipboard balanced on his thigh.

“Urges to hurt other people, one to ten?”

You think of Karkat Vantas and that smug fucking look on his face.

“Two.” It’s always less than three. Maybe that’s why he starts with it.

“Urges to hurt yourself, one to ten?”

You contemplate yesterday’s DBT handout, Roxy’s outburst about self-destruction, and its many varying connotations.

“Eight,” you reply.

“Suicidal thoughts, one to ten?”

“Nine.”

“Active or passive?”

“Passive, mostly. Fleetingly active. I don’t want to live if I’m going to burden people, the usual.”

“Do you have any plans to seriously harm yourself on the unit?”

“No. Not here,” you say. “Everything I’d want to do would require me to be outside.”

“I see,” Krishna says. “Have you been seeing or hearing things that aren’t really there?”

“No.”

“What about feeling like people are out to get you, or sending you special messages?”

“No. Nothing like that. I get enough of that shit at home.”

Dr. V does not laugh at your attempt to joke about your chaotic home life.

If you were to be completely honest, you’re wondering when your medications are going to start working, or if they’re going to start working. Talking to the other patients has been a double-edged sword. So many of them have been on a million different drugs without relief.

Logically, you know that it’ll probably take whatever you’re on more than a week to cure you, but… You’re scared. You’re not in full control and it scares you. There’s a reason you slit your throat. There’s a reason you’re here.

You’re scared the melancholy will wrap itself around you like a shroud, and never relinquish its hold. You’re scared you’ll hate yourself and this life forever.

“I thank you for your honesty, Sollux,” Dr. V says, once he makes his notes. “Any uses of target behaviors that I should be aware of?”

“I cut myself with a plastic knife on Friday evening. Not deep enough to need medical attention, though.”

You scan his expression for evidence of emotion, but he has the mother of all poker faces. All he does is write your answers down in his incomprehensible shorthand,

“How did that make you feel?” he asks. “Remember, it didn’t necessarily have to make you feel anything.”

You shrug. “It helped relieve the tension in the moment, I guess.”

“But it also made me feel disappointed later on,” you go on. “Disappointed at myself. I’m such a fucking idiot for relapsing.”

Dr. V jots this down as well, and shuffles through his papers.

“I wouldn’t use that language to describe yourself. Ridding yourself of maladaptive coping mechanisms can be quite difficult, especially if they have worked for you in the past,” he says. “Nevertheless, do you think you need to be on one-to-one for a few days? So that you stop hurting yourself while you’re here?"

You shake your head vehemently. “Absolutely not. I won’t do what I did again.”

“That is reassuring to hear. I’ll refrain from filling out the paperwork that would put you on constant observation for self-injury. That said, though, there is something you also need to do to prevent that.”

You roll your eyes a little. “You want me to contract for safety, don’t you? Like, filling out one of those sheets that says I’ll grab someone else before I decide to hurt myself. Otherwise I end up on one-to-one, right?”

Dr. V nods at you, before going on. “Yes, that is the general idea. You may either fill it out with me later on in the afternoon, or with a member of the staff with whom you are more comfortable.”

“I’d rather fill it out with you, to be perfectly honest. I trust you.”

He smiles. “I am very glad to hear that, Sollux. I don’t have any further questions for the moment.”’

You get out of your conference with Krishna, and walk into the dayroom.  

Gamzee sits there, watching Good Morning America. He’s got a small smile on his face, and a faraway look in his eye, like he’s both here and not. You call his name to get his attention. It works, his dark eyes trained on you.

“You mind if I sit down?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “Naw, it’s cool. You can even change the channel if that’s somethin’ you wanna do.”

He’s built like a linebacker, all broad shoulders and muscles. He could probably snap you in half if he wanted to. You take the seat next to him and he smiles serenely at you.

“So what’s up?” he asks.

“Nothing, man. Just got outta session with Dr. V. He wanted to make sure I didn’t want to hurt myself.”

Gamzee looks thoughtful. He pulls a red paper flower out of his shorts and hands it to you.

“I folded that a couple days ago. You can have it, if you want.”

“For what?”

“For when you need to up an fuckin’ remember the miracles. Like we talked about last night.”

Last night, Gamzee harangued you at length about the Mirthful Messiahs, and the Dark Carnival, and with a practiced skill you have learned from your sibling’s rants about the NYPD following them, you tuned him out utterly. You really hope he doesn’t count you as a believer in his weird ass faith, which seems like some kind of psychotic juggalo cult.

He’s a nice guy, though. You know he’s not utterly harmless, but he seems easygoing enough. You fiddle around with and tear at a piece of paper until you have a square, which you then use to make a paper crane.

“Hey, Gamzee,” you say. He glances up at you.

“Yeah?”

You hand him the paper crane. “You know, the Japanese believe if you fold a thousand of these, you get a wish. I’m not folding a thousand cranes, but this is for you.”

“I will cherish it every day of my motherfucking life.”

You think he means it, too.

Art group is at 11. Katya herds everyone who wants to show up into the art room. So far, that’s you, Roxy, Karkat, June, Gamzee, Calliope, and Porrim. Karkat nods his head at you, and then inclines it toward the door. He wants to talk to you one-on-one. Whatever the fuck about?

He looks like he’s swallowed a lemon before he deigns to speak to you, all pursed lips and narrowed eyes. You’re tempted to ask him what the fuck’s eating him, and then he speaks.

“Listen. I want to apologize about earlier this morning,” he says. “I was in a foul fucking mood, and I need to work on not taking that shit out on other people.”

Wait, seriously? He can’t actually think you’re still upset about that; you get cursed out worse by your sibling on a daily basis, and that’s when they’re in a good mood.

“Accepted,” you reply. “Don’t worry about it, man.”

Faint relief breaks out on Karkat’s features.

Katya has all of you gather around before she constructs a box out of a weirdly shaped piece of cardboard that looks as if it’s been cut so that a small briefcase sized box could be constructed.

“These are what I like to call coping boxes. You make the box, and then you decorate it. You can put anything in here. Things that make you feel good, or that make you think, or handouts you get during other groups. Whatefur you want!”

She hands a box to each of you, after she puts out tempera and acrylic paint, colored markers, gel pens, and colored pencils.

You weren’t planning to keep any of your distress tolerance handouts in the box, but maybe you should. Gamzee’s staring at you while he paints, and that’s kind of weird, at least until you get a good look at how he’s decorating his coping box.

He’s painting halfway decent pictures of you, Roxy, Karkat, Calliope and Eridan on the front part of the box, with the word “friends”, in purple cursive.

He counts you as a friend even though the only thing you’ve really had to do with him was vaguely listen while he spouted his weird theories about the mirthful messiahs?

You have to hand it to him, though. Kid’s a real artist, probably - no, definitely - good enough to paint portraits for money over in Washington Square Park or something. Karkat gets a decent look at what Gamzee’s painting and blushes.

“Oh, come on, you didn’t have to put me on the damn box,” he says.

“But you are my best friend in the whole wide motherfucking universe,” Gamzee replies.

Karkat splutters something and looks like he’d like to object, then just sighs, and tells him to make sure he gets Karkat’s good side. 

“Hey, Gamzee!” Roxy calls.

“Yes, Roxybro?”

“Does painting that mean you’re gonna paint me like one ‘a’ your French girls one of these days?”

Gamzee gives this a good half-minute of thought.

“I ain’t up an’ got any motherfuckin’ French girls.”

Meanwhile, you focus on your tree. It looks like a lollipop with antennae, but whatever, that’s going to be as good as it gets. You ask Katya if you can get a piece of paper to paint on, she “of course”s you and hands you a piece of printer paper.

What will you paint today, Sollux Captor? More trees?

Tears spring to your eyes, and just when you think the worst is over, they start trailing down your face. Roxy recoils and apologizes to you, thinking she’s done something, and all you do is cry harder, you fuckup. You can’t do a goddamn thing right. Only things you’re good for are fixing computers and having nervous breakdowns.

Katya looks up from praising Calliope and Gamzee’s collaboration, and walks up to you.

“Hey - no, it’s okay, mew don’t have to cover your face - what’s wrong?”

She crouches so that she’s eye level with you as you sit in your chair. It somehow makes you feel even worse, like you’re some small child that can’t control their emotional outbursts. Come to think of it, you were like this as a kid, too. Tuna was the outgoing twin who made all the friends, and you were the twin who would start crying if you accidentally colored outside the lines.

“It’s alright. If you don’t want to paint, maybe you’d like to go for a walk?” she asks. You shake your head emphatically.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “It’s just that I’ve never really been good at artistic stuff. Sorry I suck so bad.”

“Art group is not about being good or bad stylistically,” Katya says. “It’s about expressing yourself. As long as you’re doing that, you’re fine. I like your tree. You and Roxy are both excellent at trees.”

Roxy, who has been sitting next to you, using highlighters to draw what looks either like a really bad tree or a neon colored mushroom cloud, gives you a small little smile.

“Wanna draw with me?” she asks.

At first, you assume she’s found some oblique way to hit on you the way she does everyone else, but then she hands you the bottle of black tempera paint and a couple of colored markers. You don’t know what she expects you to do with them. Your tree sucks way more than hers.

“If you can’t think of anything to draw, why not try making patterns?” Katya asks.

You guess you can do that. You start drawing red and blue circles on your piece of paper, clustering them closer and closer together. 

Apropos of nothing, you remember the time in undergrad where you and Ray couldn’t get back to campus in time to beat the blizzard. You and she slept overnight in your car, parked in a gas station. Outside, nothing but a vast, enveloping white, what you imagine death or infinity must look like. The whole world rendered down to the slope and curve of dunes and valleys.

If you think hard enough, you can feel the wind rocking the car, can imagine the sound of Ray’s teeth chattering, or the occasional slip of her hands as she does a tarot reading. Another one. Another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust, Queen playing through your radio speakers. She sits in the front passenger seat, one leg bent beneath her.

“You think we’re ever gonna get out of here?” she asks.

At this moment, you ask yourself that same question. It’s a little different, now.

You wish you could take your seven eighths of a computer engineering degree and come up with a way out of this, but you can’t. That’s your problem. You’re only you, and you’ve never been good at managing your emotions.

[xavierfiles-blog]

When Storm is Not Enough: A Womanist Analysis of Representation in X-Men

This Editorial comes to us from Everett Christensen.

Stories matter, representation matters. Representation impacts how we see others as well as how we see ourselves. If there is a direct critique to be leveled at the X-Men franchise as a whole on this point it is the lack of stories that directly address the present state of race relations as it would impact the black characters of the franchise as a whole and black women in particular. It would be even harder to draw parallels between the narrative use of mutants in the comics and any civil rights issue of the past couple years. It’s worth noting that recently the Mutant Deportation Act was revealed, perhaps that difficulty may soon be eliminated. In the real world, however, black women have been pivotal movers of the present Civil Rights and race discussion in America.

Appearing in nearly half of all X-Men books Storm, Ororo Munroe, is one of the most iconic characters of the Marvel Universe, synonymous with the work of mutant activism, and the first African American woman hero in Marvel Comics. She has the greatest number of appearances of any black character of the franchise, male or female, and a larger representation than all other black women who have been X-Men combined, nearly twice over, at over 1700 appearances across the Marvel Universe since her debut in 1975. Yet stories that directly address her race far more often revolve around her responsibility to the people of Africa than around her feelings towards the black community in America. Specifically, she grew up in both Africa and America, then upon becoming an orphan, she was essentially raised in Africa. It would not be incorrect to assume there is some controversy on the topic of Storm being culturally African.

John Romita Jr., Dan Green, and Steve Buccellato

The next most popular black female mutant is M, Monet St. Croix with over 250 appearances. That there should be such a discrepancy in representation makes sense. M was created in 1994 while Storm 1975. It is not being suggested that she should have as much representation as a Marvel flagship characters, but it is telling that the gap is so large. M was also born in Algeria, stories that involve her heritage usually frame things in relation to being Muslim or being incredibly rich. Though the character grew up in Africa it’s hard to speak to any time where she exhibits signs of Algerian culture, instead, her rich upbringing provides cover for her social interactions to be generically cultured and western. In addition, during Brian Woods v4 of the X-Men M and Storm were members of the same team! Yet in that book there was no acknowledgment of any identity shared between the two women, other than being mutants.

Todd Nauck

Idie Okonquo aka Oya, clocks in at an incredible 135 appearances since she was introduced in 2010. Hailing from Nigeria her narrative has largely focused on her relationship to her Catholicism, murder, and romantic entanglements. Despite having some truly excellent storylines and fantastic character design her comments on race in America have been few. It’s only reasonable after all the character has never been confirmed to be a citizen or have actually migrated instead of simply having been kidnaped from Nigeria. Probably for the best, her family is dead to avoid confusion. Additionally, telepathy is a terrible narrative conceit for language acquisition.

Indeed, looking at the top three most popular black female mutants it is worth noting that two were born in Africa and one grew up in Egypt and Kenya. However, being a mutant and being black is enough to tell an intersectional story about either race or race through the lens of the Mutant Metaphor. As both are valid identities, the experience of one would inform the experience as the other. It would be dire to consider the representation of African American women in the X-Men without Storm, M, and Oya. If you consider Storm being raised in Africa and having most of her heritage stories about Africa, the conclusion is obvious. African American women would then be almost completely unrepresented in the franchise. If you don’t count Storm as an African American woman there are a combined number of appearances amongst all of the remaining X-Men roughly equal that of Dani Moonstar.

Other than these top three we have Frenzy, Joanna Cargill, with at least 120 appearances since her introduction as a supervillain wrestler in 1986. Once Genoshan Ambassador to the UN and Acolyte of Magneto, from Age of X to the end of X-Men: Legacy Frenzy is effectively whitewashed by her desire to become an X-Man. It must be understood that Frenzy was always very clear about the intersection of her blackness and her mutanthood, but after the Age of X her being black is never referenced or alluded to. This culminates in Legacy #268 where the Phoenix Five send her to deal with African warlords, do not mention race even once. Frenzy is recognized as a mutant and an American, but not black. Joanna saves a young girl who has been taken as a child bride. Both Joanna and the girl find they have killed their own parents, Joanna upon erupting as a mutant and the child upon being forced to join as a child soldier to local warlords. Their shared exploitation is mirrored in Joanna’s own history. The racial component of the violence done unto them is never implicitly or textually addressed and this woman’s racial identity is ignored.

Roger Cruz, Andy Owens, and Mike Rockwitz

Bling!, Roxy Washington, at over 90 appearances, was introduced as part of Gambit’s class and as the only explicitly queer black woman of the franchise. Angel Salvador appeared over 50 times since her introduction in 2001, though she was depowered she is still a mother to a mutant child. Alisa Tager, Cipher, was invisible for many of her more than 30 appearances. Shard Bishop, with nearly 50 appearances was introduced in 1993 killed in 2000 and Venus Dee Milo with 30 some odd appearances was introduced in 2002 and killed in 2004. Kymera, Storm’s daughter from an alternate future if both the newest and has the fewest appearances, perhaps a dozen since 2013.

Finally, Cecilia Reyes has 81 appearances since her introduction in 1997. The Afro-Caribbean medical doctor, the only M.D. in the X-men lineup no less, is fascinating in study because unlike the vast majority of stories where two black women meet in the X-Men Cecilia upon meeting Storm referred to her as ‘that tall sister’ which is more than we normally get as far as acknowledgement between characters of color of anything like African American Vernacular English (AAVE) or shared heritage between them. This mannerism was quickly lost, of course. None of the black women characters in the X-Men are shown to use AAVE regularly, which is likely for the best considering the majority of writers are white.

Carlos Pacheco, Art Thibert, and Chris Lichtner

Through the entirety of these stories only one black woman, Yona Harvey, has written these characters. Her run on Black Panther and the Crew was swiftly canceled, but Storm is central. Her interactions with Misty Knight, Superhero and ex-roommate of Jean Grey, explicitly and deftly discuss the parallels that occur between the allegory of being a mutant and the reality of the black experience in America. It is a great example of intersectionality in comics and how it can be used to tell a better story. It is not an X-Men book.

Butch Guice, Scott Hanna, and Dan Brown

With such a large cast of black women who have been heroes in the franchise, it should be noted that the franchise has given us depictions of black romance. But what it has not given us is black sisterhood, either as narrative or simply contextual. Even though Storm has been on teams with M, Frenzy, Bling! and Cecilia it cannot be claimed that these women have had interactions that can be acknowledged as intersectional. In fact, it’s rare to see any acknowledgment of these characters race at all.

Which brings us to Roxy. As mentioned she was introduced as one of Gambit’s class of mutants the Chevaliers, most of which did not have traditional human appearances. A minor character, she was gung-ho about becoming an X-Man, committed and driven. The reveal of her sexuality as the only queer black woman to wear the X was handled in a casual fashion that bordered on tasteful. Despite having been good enough to be called up to the big leagues to fight Apocalypse she has remained a background character. We have seen nothing of her backstory and there has never been a reference to her ethnicity.

Terry Dodson, Rachel Dodson, and Jason Keith

Most of her characterization comes from Brian Wood’s X-Men v4, which entirely concerned her sexuality without any acknowledgment that she was also black in that space. It is almost as if her mutated gray skin has erased her blackness. Thus far this trend has continued with the first four issues of Christina Strain’s Generation X, but as Roxy is a main character the trend may be bucked. Any acknowledgment that her queerness is also impacted by her blackness as well as by being a mutant would be something entirely new in the X-Men franchise.

And is that not what is truly being demanded? Something entirely new. A black female writer for the franchise, for instance. Not to diminish the groundbreaking and fundamental work of extant women writers of the franchise in any way, instead to build upon that legacy and pushing for a greater diversity of storytelling. Fabian Nicieza once said

Personally, 
I 
think
 such
 diversity 
is 
very 
important, 
but 
not
 for 
PC‐related
 reasons,
 just 
the 
opposite, 
actually, 
because 
diversity 
creates
 greater
 opportunities
 for 
differences 
of 
opinion,
 background, 
life 
experiences,
 which 
helps
 generate 
more 
conflict 
which 
is 
the 
foundation
 for 
good 
drama.

In a climate where there is pushback against diversity as a concept, it is critical that the X-Men franchise does more than just lip service to the ideals that the narrative espouses and should seek to expand its minority representation on the page and in the office.

When Storm is Not Enough: A Womanist Analysis of Representation in X-Men was originally published on Xavier Files

[eightball-records-digital]

#EightballRecordsDigital is proud to present Ban unmixed #compilation of tracks of legendary #LouieBaloGuzman #Remastered from original DATs these timeless #NewYorkHouse tracks can sound current in any #House #DeepHouse sets of #DJs all over the world. #MannyCuevas aka #DJM-TRAXXX is #EightballRecords choice for this live #DJ #remix. Tracklist as follows: 1.Fred Jorio - Matt Wood -– It's So Right (Balo Remix) 2. THE GIRL FIRED UP (dub mix) 3. Louie Balo Guzman - OK...Kid (Mix 1) 4. Attitude! (Makes You Move) (Your Attitude Mix) Edited By – Louie Balo Guzman 5. Roxy And The Effects_ The Art Of Sampling (Dub) 6. Louie 'Balo' Guzman - No Felicia 7. Reach For The Sky (Spiritual Heritage Mix)_Edited By – Louie Balo Guzman 8. Louie _Balo_ Guzman - Keep It Simple 9. Wave - Enjoy Life (Afro Dub) - Louie 'Balo' Guzman EDIT 10. Mood II Swing Presents Wall Of Sound _ I Need Your Luv (Balo's Banji Mix) 11. Mac Vibe - Mr. Meaner (Louie Balo Guzman Edit) Please support the label and its artists by purchasing this release I-Tunes https://itunes.apple.com/th/album/louie-balo-guzman-compilation/id1256927531 TraxSource https://www.traxsource.com/title/833385/louie-balo-guzman-compilation BeatPort https://www.beatport.com/release/louie-balo-guzman-compilation/2065967 Juno http://www.junodownload.com/products/louie-balo-guzman-compilation/3479056-02/

[thelastmixedtape]

The Last Mixed Tape picks out some of the stand-out tracks from August 2017 including Lilac Glass, Montauk Hotel, ASIWYFA, Rews & more.

Listen to the full playlist at the bottom of the page and see the tracking listing below. For past monthly mixed tape’s on TLMT click here or subscribe to The Last Mixed Tape on Spotify.

Montauk Hotel – Sense Of Place What TLMT had to say: “Taking influence from the likes of U2, the Smiths and even a hint of Roxy Music, Montauk Hotel’s vividly portrayed, sonically lush take on the indie-pop genre works in stark contrast to other acts going down a more D.I.Y/lo-fi route, setting the band apart from the pack.”

Lilac Glass – Late Nights What TLMT had to say: “Playing into the themes of a disintegrating relationship; the emotional distance, want and hurt, the interplay the lyrical core of the song and the productions soundscape building work to create something real and lived in.”

Sun.Set.Ships – D_Lay What TLMT had to say: “The soft synth pop sound of ‘D_Lay’ makes for serene soundscape for the music of Sun.Set.Ships to exist within.”

Elephant – Mirrors What TLMT had to say: “There can be no doubting the stark sonic sea change of Elephant’s latest offering ‘Mirrors’. Taking on a far more electronic slant than seen before, the track finds the songwriter expanding his sound palette beyond the more serene dream-folk music of previous singles like in a way that is unexpected and brave.”

Ivan Nicholas – Moving On What TLMT had to say: “Part Arcade Fire bombast and part the War On Drugs driving alt.rock, Ivan Nicolas’ latest offering ‘Moving On’ centers itself around a persistent punching backbone that cuts right through the textural middle ground of the music.”

Slow Place Like Home (feat. Fergal McKee) – Echoes What TLMT had to say: “Featuring Whipping Boy’s Ferghal McKee on guest vocal, the dreamlike vibe of ‘Echoes’ is an immersive one.”

Hvmmingbyrd – Gozo What TLMT had to say: “Backed by a highly stylized electro-pop production that creates a deeply seated atmosphere around Hvmmingbyrd’s music, the group’s latest offering creates a more expansive take on what has come before.”

And So I Watch You From Afar – A Slow Unfolding Of Wings What TLMT had to say: “Opening with a large-scale blast of clashing melodies, rhythms, and textures the first glimpse into ASIWYFA’s next full-length album showcases the wide range of dynamism and musical craft that goes into the group’s sound in under four minutes.”

Seamus Fogarty – Carlow Town What TLMT had to say: “A truly inspiring sonic palette occupied by Fogarty’s vivid songwriting and strong bodied voice, the single is singular in its sound and highlight just how the genre can be turned on its head with enough invention.”

REWS – Shine What TLMT had to say: “The comparisons to Royal Blood will be inevitable, but Rews bring more of themselves to the table with ‘Shine’, making the pair a definite one to watch in the coming months.”

Tebi Rex X Elkin – She Hated Love Songs II What TLMT had to say: “a heartfelt slice of R&B that melds both groups music under one cohesive production that glides from charming to harder hitting in an instance.”

Ryan Kelly – G.O.N.E What TLMT had to say: “A subtle new single from Ryan Kelly, the piano led ballad ‘G.O.N.E’ builds itself around a rising atmosphere of alternative-pop and rock flourishes to create an intimate but no less ambitious sound.”

Autre Monde – Village Of Loomers What TLMT had to say: “Set to a slow trudging tempo, the stark jangled guitars of Autre Monde’s post-indie sound dominate ‘Village of Loomers’.”

Jafaris – If You Love Me What TLMT had to say: “Supported by beats that move around the changing dynamic moods of the song itself and given further by Jafaris’ own heartfelt vocal, the single takes a journey from one end to the next that makes sure you never finish where you started sonically.”

A Dream, The Night – Sick Day What TLMT had to say: ” ‘Sick Day’ pulses with synth lines that carry across both the intimacy and the isolation of that the music evokes. Add to this the softly portrayed central vocal and you have a subtle but effective offering from A Dream, The Night.”

Joey Gavin – Rolf Harris Is A Paedophile What TLMT had to say: “Delivered with the same jumping indie-pop sound that made his previous track ‘Run’ such a compelling ear-worm, ‘Rolf’ is Gavin’s most pointed and lyrically assertive song to date.”

Pursued By Dogs – Iceland What TLMT had to say: “Filled with its own sparse atmosphere, the music is complex but given a textural depth by the production’s echoing reverb drenched sound.”

Pale Rivers – West Point What TLMT had to say: ” it’s the great dynamic swells within the production and performance of ‘West Point’ that makes Pale Rivers sound so attention grabbing. Giving us enough repose to allow for the louder moments feel more impactful, the emotional backbone of the song is translated sonically.”

Frankenstein Bolts – Anatomic Major What TLMT had to say: “The swaying dreamlike atmosphere of ‘Anatomic Major’ works as a lush, highly stylized return from Frankenstein Bolts”. 

Fehdah – Kathmandu What TLMT had to say: “This big melting pot of genre flourishes (afro-soul, R&B, jazz, electronic) and sounds runs right through tracks like ‘Money’ and ��Kathmandu’, highlighting just how deeply Fehdah has absorbed the music that influences her as an artist.”

https://open.spotify.com/user/thelastmixedtape.com/playlist/2RY4leLZ5R85wYQJKL3wrl

  TLMT’s August Mixed-Tape feat. .@IAmLilacGlass @MontaukHotel @ASIWYFA_BAND @rewsmusic & more

The Last Mixed Tape picks out some of the stand-out tracks from August 2017 including Lilac Glass, Montauk Hotel, ASIWYFA, Rews & more.

TLMT's August Mixed-Tape feat. .@IAmLilacGlass @MontaukHotel @ASIWYFA_BAND @rewsmusic & more The Last Mixed Tape picks out some of the stand-out tracks from August 2017 including Lilac Glass, Montauk Hotel, ASIWYFA, Rews & more.

[privilege-archives]

Thank you for your audition, JORDAN. We are thrilled to welcome you into the group as the Third Jones who you have chosen to name ROXANNE SOLETTE, with the faceclaim of Jade Thirlwall, and we truly cannot wait to meet them. Please send in your account in the next 24 hours, and read over the new members checklist before sending in your link.

ALL ABOUT YOU ➝

Jordan, She/Her, 24, EST

YOUR ACTIVITY ➝

I work 50 hours a week during the weekdays, so some days I won’t be around due to being tired or just too busy, but I’ll make a point to sign onto mobile if I’m not available for the day. 6/10.

ANYTHING TO ADD? ➝

Removed.

YOUR CHARACTER ➝

Roxanne ‘Roxie’ Solette Jones [FC: Jade Thirlwall]

AGE, ORDER & BIRTHDAY ➝

20. Fourth sibling. February 3rd. Solo.

GRADE & MAJOR ➝

Third year, Music major.

SEXUAL & ROMANTIC ORIENTATION ➝

Homosexual/homoromantic.

FAMOUS FAMILY ➝

Randall Smith is a famous musician. Michelle Jones is a stay-at-home mother. Marcus Jones is a Hollywood actor and the step-father to the children. They took his last name after he married their mother.

BIOGRAPHY ➝

If you had asked Grace Wilson, she would tell you that without a shadow of doubt – her daughter, Roxanne Wilson-Jones, came out of the womb singing. Even before she could form actual words, she was babbling tunes from children’s songs that he had played for her ad nauseam. It took Roxanne a little longer than most children to speak, because she was far too busy trying to remember the notes to the songs that she had loved so dearly.

Grace, of course, took this all in complete stride and loved every single second of it. When Roxanne was born, her father Marcus simultaneously disappeared from their lives. Even though Grace was heartbroken, she embraced life as a single mother. The one thing that was hard for Grace to get used to was the fact that she was a white woman raising a half-black daughter. Roxanne’s hair was constantly a mess, her wild curls placed in tight pigtails. Though because Roxanne was young, she didn’t see this as a problem.

As she grew older, Roxanne told her mom that she needed to learn how to do her hair. All of the girls in her class had a million beads in their hair, while hers was quite literally the biggest afro many of those kids had seen. Thankfully, she took a class and talked to some of the mothers there. Soon enough, her hair was completely in place. Even though her clothes weren’t the same as theirs, she loved the fact that she looked like the other black girls in her class.

It was something at a young age that Roxanne didn’t realize that she was struggling with. These young girls and boys were being brought up underneath this culture that she had absolutely no clue about. They would tell her stories of food and traditions – ones that Roxanne had no clue of. She almost felt jealous in a way. Was she really black?

By the time that she was ten years old, she knew that in her heart she was a black girl.. even if her mother was white and she didn’t have that culture. Even at a young age, she had experienced racism enough to realize that she would always be a black girl.. and not someone who was also white. It was those small things that were explained to her by Grace, that started her passion for something more. While they were at the movies, someone asked Grace if Roxanne was really her daughter… she ended up going off on a tangent on how incredibly racist that was. Grace couldn’t have been more proud.

She didn’t realize that he had raised a firecracker, though. A firecracker with a voice that didn’t come around very often. If at all. Roxanne’s life was two very important things: singing and equality. While she was incredibly active in high school.. getting straight A’s, singing in the school musicals and choir, the one thing that got her in trouble was her mouth. And not with singing. Any mention of sexism or racism, and she would go completely off. Even if it had been her teacher that had said something.

During her Freshman year, Roxanne realized something about herself. Instead of being attracted to guys, she wanted nothing more than to feel a girl’s soft skin underneath her fingertips. Because she was so active in every inclusive group, she accepted herself. “I’m gay, mom!” Roxanne exclaimed to her mother excitedly, and of course – all she did was laugh and hug her. It wasn’t really a surprise to her, or really anyone else. While being an advocate for racism and feminism.. the LGBTQ+ group got another member, and she always fought for it, never letting anyone forget that she was in fact, a lesbian.

Roxanne knew that she didn’t want to do anything with her life other than sing. Singing was important to her. She felt like herself whenever she was singing. Anytime that she opened her mouth to sing, the whole room fell quiet. And that’s exactly how she knew that she was destined to do it for the rest of her life. While she always made fun of shows like The X-Factor, she decided to try out anyway. And luckily enough for her, she made it. Absolutely no one, including Grace, was surprised. Roxanne was placed with three other girls that quickly ended up her best friends. They created a group called Femme Fatale.

Around the time that Roxanne and her girl group started to get traction, Grace decided to give her the information of her father: Marcus Jones. Even though Roxanne was busy touring and doing just about everything to keep their popularity alive, she wanted to know about her father. She had always been curious, but never asked any questions due to the fact that she didn’t want to upset her mother, for any sort of reason. A few phone calls later and Roxanne was making plans to fly down to Los Angeles to meet her father, and in turn – step siblings.

Because Roxanne grew up as an only child, she accepted this with open arms. She spent as much time as she could in Los Angeles trying to get to know Marcus and her new step siblings. As time went by, Roxanne felt as if she had known them her whole life. Or at least she wished she had. No matter how they felt about her, she knew that she had gained a new family and she felt as if her heart grew a million times bigger.

Because Roxanne was so interested in spending more time with her father and step-siblings, she decided to make a big move to Los Angeles. While Grace wasn’t too happy about this in the beginning, she learnt to embrace the fact that her daughter had more people that loved her – and that was important to her. Thankfully, the girls of Femme Fatale followed her.. as they thought it would be incredibly important to make a name in the United States, rather than the United Kingdom. And so it was: Roxanne lived in Los Angeles now, enrolled in school at Pacific State University and is just trying to live a normal life… except that’s not so simple when you’re in the most popular girl group there is right now, is it?

AESTHETIC ➝

Roxanne is very casual and laid back when she’s not on stage or filming a music video. She wears mostly plaid button up t-shirts, jeans and leather jackets. People often tell her that her style reflects her sexuality, which she finds heavily offensive. [X]

[eightball-records-digital]

Full Mix on YOUTUBE NOW https://youtu.be/JdHNmeuJjnY #Remastered from original DATs these timeless #NewYorkHouse tracks can sound current in any #House #DeepHouse sets of #DJs all over the world. #MannyCuevas aka #DJM-TRAXXX is #EightballRecords choice for this live #DJ #remix. Tracklist as follows: 1.Fred Jorio - Matt Wood -– It's So Right (Balo Remix) 2. THE GIRL FIRED UP (dub mix) 3. Louie Balo Guzman - OK...Kid (Mix 1) 4. Attitude! (Makes You Move) (Your Attitude Mix) Edited By – Louie Balo Guzman 5. Roxy And The Effects_ The Art Of Sampling (Dub) 6. Louie 'Balo' Guzman - No Felicia 7. Reach For The Sky (Spiritual Heritage Mix)_Edited By – Louie Balo Guzman 8. Louie _Balo_ Guzman - Keep It Simple 9. Wave - Enjoy Life (Afro Dub) - Louie 'Balo' Guzman EDIT 10. Mood II Swing Presents Wall Of Sound _ I Need Your Luv (Balo's Banji Mix) 11. Mac Vibe - Mr. Meaner (Louie Balo Guzman Edit)