#afraid of devoting most of my waking life to something i hate. if i don't my mom will be mad and i might die due to lack of money

[dominateeye]

Anybody know when the crushing discouragement and anxiousness over the future stops

[that-gay-jedi]

Every time I think my spirit is starting to heal from the last transphobic hate crime, another happens. I've been trying not to say anything about it because my heart is so full of the most venomous rage right now that I am afraid I'll say something that might get me dragged into a bunch of drama. Sometimes I feel like holding my tongue is actually worse than the alternative, and I wonder if I'm only being quiet because I am afraid. Truth is I'm so angry that I can't even be trusted to decide which is worse at this point.

It's revolting on a physical level that trans exclusionists who claim non binary identities are a product of misogyny get to live to keep making this planet worse while children who did nothing wrong are killed.

There were no men or boys in that bathroom. A child was murdered in broad daylight. If I hear any of the duplicitous ass dog whistle phrases of trans exclusionism ever again I think I might clench my jaw so hard that I choke to death on my own teeth.

It's not fair that the people spreading the various kinds of rhetoric that led to other adults allowing this to happen get to live in peace while Nex doesn't get to live at all.

It's not fair that the three girls who chose to commit this abhorrent act get to have everything they senselessly took away from someone else. It's not fair that their age is seen as a reason for leniency while Nex's age wasn't seen as a reason to keep them alive.

In a just world, there would not be a moment's peace ever again for any of the responsible parties. Not the perpetrators of the assault, not whomever decided not to call an ambulance, not the doctor who sent Nex home, not any parent, teacher, officer or bureaucrat who did any less than 100% of what was in their power to prevent this from happening, and not the self-satisfied pricks who don't realize or don't care how what they profess contributes.

It's easy to say "no peace", but honestly? I mean it in its fullest and truest capacity, possibly a fate worse than death and certainly a fate that, before I understood the world, I would have said was too terrible to wish on even my worst enemy.

May every remaining moment of life be a waking nightmare for transphobes, unless and until they change their ways and devote every ounce of time and energy to protecting trans, non-binary, and two-spirit people from harm. May they know what it is to be helpless, to be hated, to endure unending torment without recourse. May any of our dead who were denied their share of peace rip it from those undeserving of peace among the living. May the blood on your hands burn you like the cruelest acid, and may you wear yourself to the bone trying to wash it off.

[sylvaridreams]

I think Alba is going to retire

and step down as Wayfinder, post-SotO. (SotO spoilers, obviously, new Wayfinder, eventually.)

And this has been a long time coming. He's been wilting (off and on but mostly on) 8 years, since the botched Maguuma breach and subsequent war campaign and then the long period of mourning after, over a year of it. He struggled with Mordremoth in his brain, and Mordremoth was not the first elder dragon he'd had a hard time keeping out. He struggled with Zhaitan too; and with each subsequent dragon he faced. He's always been susceptible to elder dragon corruption and control, and every time he killed something, absorbed more of their magic, more ley energy, more power that should have killed him, it became more of an issue.

Looking at the parallel Tyria that Nemeos reigns over, his botched Dragonstorm was a tipping point -- but you don't just tip. The burden comes long before the tip -- and this version of Alba has persevered and struggled a lot longer without breaking, but I can say with confidence that he is at absolute rock bottom right now. His relationships are fully destroyed. Canach hates the choices he's made, that he'd choose the Wizards over his guild, his world, people who love him. Auruim-- when he eventually wakes up and begins recovery-- is afraid of the world Alba's dragged him through. The kryptis scare him. The Wizards scare him. By the end, he'll have spent most of SotO, over a year, rotting in a bed in the tower, dying and trapped inside his own mind. Meisi hates him. Their last chance to talk has long passed and all Meisi had for him was a look of disdain and distrust and anger, and a "tell them I'm sorry." Nothing for YOU. Just the others. How bad does it have to be for you to lose the loving devotion of someone called The Loyal? BOURBON would tear Alba's guts out with his teeth if someone would just give him the go-ahead, fucking BOURBON who forgave Alba in minutes for killing his best and only friend and stealing his purpose in life because he looked sadder than me, a loyal dog always seeking a master to lie at his feet, Bourbon can't fucking stand what Alba's allowed to happen to anyone. Auruim, Meisi, Bourbon, Deidre, himself, the guild, the world.

The guild. It's decayed a lot. They've stayed together but... you know how people talk, when his back is turned. How can you expect him to be fit to lead? Can you trust him with your life? For how long? And then he vanishes. Leaves you a message on your comms and then he's just gone. The stitch that had pulled everyone together, unraveled and lost. Presumed dead, until they knew he wasn't. Knew he'd just left.

Nobody trusts him. Everyone's tired of him. People want him to get better because people still love him, unconditionally, genuinely, they want him to get better for himself and for them, for anything. But you can't continue to, hand over hand, pass matches and gasoline to him to watch him burn himself with them. At some point you have to refuse and push his seeking hands away and say no. You're hurting yourself and it hurts me. You're hurting me. I refuse to be a part of this.

People still love him and if he stopped what he's doing and said "I need help. Please help me. I want to stop," people would come to his aid but he won't. He will never stop until he's dead, because The Role is all he thinks he has. The title. Commander. Wayfinder. Hero. Whatever.

What are you? If you turn your back on the world in need and say "I know I've saved you every other time, the past 13 years of my life, I've dropped everything and come to your aid and met every single call before, but not this one and never again." He'd feel like a monster. Walking away from a duty. You can't ask him to do that. To feel like such a horrible person-- but you have to! He has to stop doing it! It's not rising to the call, it's not the hero's fucking journey and it's not Alba's never-ending quest to kill himself one way or another! He has an addiction to the release of chemicals in his brain that he gets when he averts the apocalypse. There is no way around saying it. He's an addict. He gets his rush by inserting himself in life or death, this world or no world left, absolute tragedy and destruction scenarios. He stopped the dragon cycle and then Aurene left and he had to be alone with himself for five minutes and he got fucking bored and felt withdrawals, having nothing to do, nothing to satisfy that sector of his brain. He needed the dopamine and adrenaline and he went looking for something to feed it to him through a drip.

And the Wizards needed a hero. So fucking convenient for everyone involved.

But you know. He went with the Wizards, he's played their games (and will continue to do so presumably until the end of SotO, I don't intend to yoink him away just yet) and he's spend months and months with them, trying to trust them--

and he doesn't trust them. He still feels like an outsider. Even being called Outsider, Outlander, at least down in the world of Tyria he felt like he belonged, if not "in this new foreign place, with these strangers" then at least "with his friends and allies, doing these good things." He doesn't belong among the Wizards, the Astral Ward. He doesn't understand magic. He doesn't understand what they're doing or why. Not just because he's an idiot, Vigil-brained and no good at puzzles and feels so stupid he could cry when he has to do math, the numbers all seem to move around -- He cannot understand the point of view that we should sit back and watch (the world) suffer and learn from it from afar. Countless copies of the world, even. Let's see how they burn and we'll take notes and maybe the next one will burn a little quieter. He will never be able to see this as a positive, as a win for Tyria. He will always distrust the Wizards and feel like an outsider to them-- because they shrugged their shoulders and said "well, we decided to hang back and watch." He isn't a watcher. He's a doer. Good or bad, Alba acts.

And he does feel like a true outsider, to this circle of old companions. These people are mostly very nice to him, with time, but they aren't his friends. And he's not in on their group. They've had years, some of them decades, some of them centuries together. He's 13. And all his friends hate him right now. And he feels alone, and he feels like a moron that he doesn't understand the motives behind not helping Tyria, and he feels listless and depressed and he's going through withdrawals when he doesn't get his adrenaline rush, his dopamine drip. Something has to give at some point and eventually that thing is that

he wants to go home.

He can't say it out loud to anyone. He doesn't trust the Wizards, and he doesn't trust that they'll let him go willingly. If the Wayfinder says hey, actually I don't like it here, I'm heading back to the surface later. See you. -- someone is going to say WAIT. We have one FINAL task for you. To save this world one last time. And Alba's going to look at them like

"for.... for me?"

and he's going to fall for it and he'll fall for it again after that, over and over. And he will never be able to leave as long as they have some errand for him that "no one else" can do.

So where does this leave us?

It leaves us with a "sudden" decision. Once Auruim is well enough to move, to get out of bed and at least be somewhat mobile again -- and this will be months off. We're not even at the "Auruim is awake" point yet, this is the future we're talking about--he's going to spring on one of the Wizards a "well, actually, today we are going home." "Oh. Are you planning on coming back?" "No... not really. Ow." (got kicked in the shin. "Uh, no. Not at all."

And then he's going to leave, practically being steered out by the last few remaining of his long suffering companions, before he can change his mind and "well, actually" his way back into Wizard Tasks.

So WHERE does this leave us and with WHOM?

I have touched briefly on Siraz before and I won't go into the deep details of his life again here, but as Alba very quickly and suddenly and "surely you haven't put enough thought into this wayfinder haha" steps away and exits stage left, Siraz is going to be the next available "yeah I guess I've literally got nothing else going on" person around, with pre-existing ties to The Wizards and The Tower anyway. This is him, in case you need a visual:

This is kind of funny to me for reasons:

He's ex-mordrem which means I get to continue to explore my favorite little plant hivemind sub-species again and again and again and again yippee wahoo yay hip hip hooray wheee!

After Auruim is awake and mobile but before Alba and everyone leaves the tower, Siraz is going to beat Auruim's ass, not even for his own personal "I have beef with you" reasons -- but because AURU picks a physical fight with him, ON SIGHT, that he has no chance of winning, and refuses to stop getting back up to try again-- to the point that Siraz is not just ordering him to stay down, but begging "please, stay down, I don't want to have to keep kicking your ass into the ground." They can move past this eventually. We hope.

While his day job is apparently going to be Wayfinder now -- is he excited by this? Possibly, but probably not, he can unpack it at some point -- his side thing seems to be psychoanalysis for other people. What am I saying here? I think Siraz' main hobby and something he really enjoys and is good at is administering therapy to people in mental health crises. He's literally going to do some Wayfinder shit on Tuesday and then on Wednesday afternoon, go and give Canach counsel on how to deal with Alba and then walk outside to the beach where Alba is daydrunk and asleep and wake him up like hey. Let's talk about this. FINALLY: Wayfinder who also gives you therapy and takes your insurance. Or payment in booze and vegetables from your garden. And maybe, maybe fucking finally, Alba can eventually learn how to rest. How to close his eyes. How to lie down and relax even when the world feels uncertain beneath you. Maybe eventually he can heal, and his relationships that he spent ovrr a decade destroying and scorching and salting the earth to ensure they'd never grow back-- maybe they will crawl up through the cracked dry crumbling dirt and seek sunlight once again and flourish.

And with all that said, Alba is going nowhere in terms of who my main character is, who I play, etc. He's my main. And my baby. And I love him. And he has relatively okay/good gear and I don't want to rip all focus off him. I just want to correct his course and see if he can heal from it all.

I will work on Siraz more (build, gear, wardrobe... etc lol.) After SotO wraps up and we see what the future holds for the Wayfinder title... it would be fun to play some story on him at that point. Get some screenshots of him in the job. But Alba is still my center focus. And personally I'm incredibly excited for what lies ahead for him. Not an easy road or a quick journey but a long life of trying. You have to want help, you have to say you want help, and then you have to accept the help, every day for the rest of your life. Healing narrative lets go.

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.

IX.

https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE

Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.

You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.

|||

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever

The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.

|||

“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.

“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.

|||

I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.

|||

Satoru was fucked.

—————

The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.

With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.

After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.

You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.

“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.

Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?

-

“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.

“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.

Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.

You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.

“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.

-

https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4

|||

She's given up, been holding on for way too long

She's had enough

He's coming home again

But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him

|||

The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.

Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…

As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.

Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.

Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.

|||

Are we just ghosts out in the night?

Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?

Are we just faking or is this real?

'Cause I don't know how to feel

Are we just ghosts now, you and I?

|||

Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.

Guilt…

Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.

The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.

He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.

But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.

What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.

After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.

What?…

Did you think he was going to stop there?

Absolutely no, love!

If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.

“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”

—

“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.

Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.

But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.

“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.

You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.

After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.

You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.

-

Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?

Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?

After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.

(Almost an hour later)

Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.

Well, this complicated things… a lot more.

————-> Chapter 10

———————————-

@sleepyamaya

@cloudsinthecosmos

@jxvajxy

@satoruhooraaa

@my-reality-is-in-my-head

@dok-ja

@jscarlet06

@fiona782

@thatsharklovingwoman

@heichoustheoryofcleanliness

@syynnaaah

@shaylove418

@coldvillainess

@vampgguk

@sukuna1stwife

[llucy-san]

CHARACTER STUDY

Tagged by lovely @pd3 ❤️ and maybe someone else but.... 🤷‍♀️

@faithchel @ja-crispea @smithandrogers @shelliechen @v3ryvelvet @veinereastath @dieguzguz @f0xyboxes @fadedjacket @risenlucifer @tomexraider @fromathelastoveritaserum @goodboiboomer-fc5 @geronimo-11​

I made it as my OC's would answer this ask game, so go ahead and read if you want to know more about them or how they interact.

LAYER 01: THE OUTSIDE

NAME: Hope Amelia Lansdowne but Hope is enough.

EYE COLOUR: It's mix of blue and green, but more of blue.

HAIR STYLE / COLOUR: Long, wavy blond hair, but I like to comb it into a bun or a ponytail.

HEIGHT: 5′6″

CLOTHING STYLE: I usually wear comfortable things like T-shirts, pants, combat boots and of course my military jacket. But you won't find anything fancy like dress in my closet.

BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: *shrugs* Don't know, whole body i guess. I'm trying to be fit.

LAYER 02: THE INSIDE

FEAR: Lose the ones I love.

GUILTY PLEASURE: I got drunk once so hard with mates, Sharky and Hurk that you don't even want to know where we woke up the next day. A week after our little meeting, I felt still little dizzy. But I would never trade my two to ride and die. NEVER.

BIGGEST PET PEEVE: My plane!! You can look at it but don't touch it.

AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE: Live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment with our loved ones.

LAYER 03: THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS WAKING UP: Glaring at those little numbers on my alarm clock and whisper “I hate you” but then *sighs* I remember all the things that awaits me that day and somehow, I get out of bed.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT MOST: If I will have the strength to get up the next day.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: My baby!! I usually fall into bed and instantly fall asleep.

WHAT THEY THINK THEIR BEST QUALITY IS: My flying skills and maybe my humour. There is nothing better than being sarcastic to someone who you don’t like. Or if I won fight over men twice my size.

LAYER 04: EITHER OR

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: I don't do dates, and quite frankly, I don't even have time for it. But if I have to choose, I prefer single.

TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED: Can't I choose both? I think they're both corresponding.

BEAUTY OR BRAINS: Brains, definitely.

DOGS OR CATS: Both, take a look at Bommer and Peaches. They're both so adorable.

LAYER 05: DO THEY

LIE: Who hasn't? I try to be honest but sometimes some situations requires it.

BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES: What kind of bloody question is that? *frowns* Of course, I believe in myself.

BELIEVE IN LOVE: If you meet the right one, go ahead. Though, I was not so lucky.

WANT SOMEONE: Why are you asking? You offer?

LAYER 06: HAVE THEY

BEEN ON STAGE: Nope.

DONE DRUGS: Sharky has a lot of stuff, but I keep my hands off it, so no.

CHANGED WHO THEY WERE TO FIT IN: I don't need to pretend in front of anyone to fit in. I am who I am and I will never force myself.

LAYER 07: WHAT'S THEIR

FAVORITE COLOR: Don't have one.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Wolves, I adores them.

FAVORITE BOOK: *shrugs* I don't read much, but when I do, I read what's first hand.

FAVORITE GAME: If you consider games where you drink a lot, then yes. *shifts in her seat* Hey, you should come to Spread Eagle with me sometimes and we can play our drinking games. Hurk will bring his liquor he got from many journeys he survived and Mary will make her famous cocktails.

LAYER 08: AGE

DAY THEIR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE: 24th September

HOW OLD THEY WILL BE: 25

LAYER 09:

I LOVE: Flying, I have flying in my blood, or just being in lap of nature.

I FEEL: *sighs* Tired of your questions.

I HIDE: My bourbon! You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to bring it here unseen. Especialy from Sharky cause he will drink anything he can see.

I MISS: My parents. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye with them one last time or go to their funeral.

I WISH: To be done with this so I could go.

LAYER 01: THE OUTSIDE

NAME: Marcus Adam Lansdowne but Marcus is fine.

EYE COLOUR: Blue

HAIR STYLE / COLOUR: Short-cut blond, short on the sides and up here *combing his hair* I have to comb it back or hold it with something, usually cap helps me.

HEIGHT: 6′1″

CLOTHING STYLE: T-shirts, pants but also something elegant like suits. But I wear them only at special occasions. 

BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: Arms, for sure. But Avery, my wife, will tell you something else.

LAYER 02: THE INSIDE

FEAR: My family above all. All I have left is my sister and my loving wife. So if you so much as look at both of them in the wrong way, *leanes closer in his seat* then, you and I have a problem, mate. 

GUILTY PLEASURE: You would believe me but singing while playing on my guitar.

BIGGEST PET PEEVE: When I lose something and Avery or Hope says, "Well, where was the last place you had it?" Seriously? That's being helpful? If I knew the last place I had it, it wouldn't be lost, now would it?

AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE: I don't know. I have everything I need and don't need anything else.

LAYER 03: THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS WAKING UP: Time in the army taught me to get up early so, next question.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT MOST: Family

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: What kind of question is this? *frowns* The bed equals rest. What else should I think about? Oh you mean. *clears his throat* Next one.

WHAT THEY THINK THEIR BEST QUALITY IS: Strength, devotion, intellect.

LAYER 04: EITHER OR

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: I don't know what you want from me anymore.

TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED: Respect from others and love from family.

BEAUTY OR BRAINS: Brains.

DOGS OR CATS: Dogs.

LAYER 05: DO THEY

LIE: I hate it when people lie to my face, but I'm not an innocent either.

BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES: Yes, I do.

BELIEVE IN LOVE: Yes

WANT SOMEONE: *quirks his eyebrows* I'm hapilly married. Avery is only one I want.

LAYER 06: HAVE THEY

BEEN ON STAGE: No

DONE DRUGS: Never in my life.

CHANGED WHO THEY WERE TO FIT IN: No.

LAYER 07: WHAT'S THEIR

FAVORITE COLOR: Dark blue, black, dark green.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Wolves, dogs, I don't know.

FAVORITE BOOK: I don't know, but the last time I read something was by Faulkner.

FAVORITE GAME: Hope once took me to one of their gatherings in Falls End and it didn't go so well. Although, I had fun like never before, but I have never had such hangover in my life. And I have to warn you about Sharky's home-made liquor. Strong as hell.

LAYER 08: AGE

DAY THEIR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE: 2nd February

HOW OLD THEY WILL BE: 33

LAYER 09:

I LOVE: Enjoying days with my family and friends or spending time in the woods.

I FEEL: Fine

I HIDE: Nothing you need to know about.

I MISS: Parents. I miss them very much.

I WISH: To stop asking me these odd questions.

LAYER 01: THE OUTSIDE

NAME: Hayley Louise Moore but friends calls me Hale.

EYE COLOUR: Olive green

HAIR STYLE / COLOUR: Semi-long chocolate hair and at the ends it turns into soft waves.

HEIGHT: 5′5″

CLOTHING STYLE: It's usually a blouse and a pencil skirt, but also a dress. But what I love most are my sweaters and sweatpants, which I wear in the late evenings while reading books.

BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: I run around the docks every morning so I'd say legs. Nature here isn't like in Atlanta or New Orleans, but it's much more beautiful.

LAYER 02: THE INSIDE

FEAR: *laughs* Well, my husband's flying. Like, I'm not afraid of flying, but the last time he took me with him and he did his wild stunts like front flips or whatever he calls it, I almost killed him after we landed. I'm not kidding. *shift in her lovechair* Affirmination and I are not friends.

GUILTY PLEASURE: Dancing while vacuuming or cleaning the ranch.

BIGGEST PET PEEVE:

AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE: Seeing my kids grow up into the wonderful adults we're with John trying to raise.

LAYER 03: THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS WAKING UP: New day new beginning. Morning is my favourite time of day.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT MOST: Kids, Family, you know stuff like this.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: Sleep, only sleep, and maybe something else, *whisper while leaning closer* but that's not appropriate.

WHAT THEY THINK THEIR BEST QUALITY IS: My persuasive skills. I always get what I want because I learned from the best, I know.

LAYER 04: EITHER OR

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES:  Single, certainly single. Actually I think I've never been to a group dates before.

TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED: Both

BEAUTY OR BRAINS: Brains. No matter how handsome or beautiful you are, I care how you will deal with difficult situations so I choose brains.

DOGS OR CATS: Cats

LAYER 05: DO THEY

LIE: Not often, but only here and there.

BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES: Yep.

BELIEVE IN LOVE: I do.

WANT SOMEONE: Why are you asking? Only my husband.

LAYER 06: HAVE THEY

BEEN ON STAGE: Nope

DONE DRUGS: No, it will completely destroy your brain.

CHANGED WHO THEY WERE TO FIT IN: I've never been able to pretend who I'm not, so no.

LAYER 07: WHAT'S THEIR

FAVORITE COLOR: I don't have a favourite colour, but my wardrobe mostly consists of soft colours and black and white combination.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats because of their eyes.

FAVORITE BOOK: Fitzgerald. I love Great Gatsby.

FAVORITE GAME: I don't play games much. I'm not very good at them.

LAYER 08: AGE

DAY THEIR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE: 15th August

HOW OLD THEY WILL BE: 27

LAYER 09:

I LOVE: Watching my husband cook, because have you seen someone like him work around in the kitchen? *glances behind her shoulder* I just adore him.

I FEEL: Good

I HIDE: My cookies!! Listen, I love Jacob, he is my favourite brother in law but he always eats almost everything on plate before I can. I have to be fast if I want at least one or two cookies from Faith.

I MISS: Every now and then I miss my life in Atlanta and my best friend Nadia. *sighs* God, you should meet her, you’d love her.

I WISH: To have at least one of those delicious cookies cause my brother in law just came so if you don't mind I will go.