#afjbdjgb have a confused tired zack trying to understand

[atlaslain]

❝ If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse. ❞ 8>

a meme, somewhere.          /          @breselin

          “why can’t you be better?”          here is what eludes him: sephiroth is beyond anyone else zack has ever known — sometimes more entity than man. he exudes an air of infinity, of ascending power and iron-willed control. he carries with him the overwhelming sense that there is nothing he’s incapable of. ( zack recalls vividly their first meeting, sephiroth swooping in like an angel in flight to save him. he recalls sephiroth framed in moonlight and standing over the bodies of their foes, and the star-struck feeling of having come face-to-face with a true hero. ) it’s … crushing, in its own way, to imagine such a man choosing not to be better. to be worse.           zack’s head’s fuzzy with lack of sleep, his shoulders slumped with fatigue. he’s lost all capacity for mincing words, not that he had much of it to begin with. he shoots sephiroth a look far sharper than the usual dull-eyed gratitude and befuddlement with which he regards his saviour.           “i don’t understand it. back then —” back at shinra he means, at soldier. back when they were fed on false dreams, before they all shattered. “didn’t we all want to be heroes? don’t you want to be?”           he gets confused, sometimes. it’s difficult to reconcile this sephiroth with the man he idolised. ( he is still an angel, a saviour. but when zack looks at him now, he sees death clinging to him. deaths they caused together. maybe they’re both worse than everyone else. )          “i just don’t get it.”