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rappaccini · 1 year ago

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arachnophobia ch 7 notes

chapter title

from 'satellite mind' by metric

oh boy metric was all over the spider-gwen 8tracks playlists back in 2015. the fantasies album is packed with music that applies so well to her.

gwen comes home on her own terms, is about to leave someone behind and reminisces about feelings she once had for them, owns her greater calling, and feels an eerie psychic connection to somebody she can't quite see.

who that person is? multiple choices. she's bonding with her symbiote, who's talking to her in her own voice. she's bonding with her alternate selves, who do the same, and are walled off from her in their own worlds.

... and she's unpacking her cosmic connection to miles, who's her foil. in the spiderverse movies, she seems to have a magical extra spider-sense that goes off when he's in danger in other worlds. hate that. eviscerated the idea of it in this fic. but hey, it applies. gwen and miles are the same. time to address it.

fwiw, this was almost the chapter 3 title. very depressed girl staring at the ceiling, hanging out with a starlet, feeling a supernatural connection to someone like her? it was knocked out by a nose by pinkshift. but the influence is all over that chapter.

and 'breathing underwater' was almost 7's.

initial quote

from catherynne m valente's refrigerator monologues, a series of short stories inspired by famous fridged women in comics. valente was inspired to write them after watching gwen die in the amazing spider-man 2, and the story this quote's from is the gwen stacy expy.

used here because gwen's finally making moves to establish herself and find her purpose.

summer

ghost-spider is gwen's current comics codename. they changed it to distinguish her from the dozens of other spider-women. it's lovely, i love that it isn't gendered (suits gwen's feminist ideology), and that it calls attention to gwen's status as a resurrected version of a famous dead girlfriend. (granted the movies started before she was called this, and kept calling her sw, so... confusion.)

gwen a doesn't use that name yet because she only thinks of it because of excursions in the multiverse. she will, though.

this fic always begins a chapter with a different name gwen goes by. spider-woman, spider-woman-in-name-only, spider-something, spider-gwen, gwen, gwen stacy, now ghost spider; each chapter involves gwen examining that aspect of her identity in some way, building towards a gradual detachment from the spider-woman identity and embrace of something wholly her own.

lost girl: peter pan ref. wendy's back from neverland, ready to grow up. she's not a lost girl anymore.

george quitting: still happens in this fic, but it's more a solution he comes to himself gradually rather than one he decides during their argument. gwen doesn't ask him to quit as one of her caveats bc asking your single dad to give up his career would feel like a stiff ask. the most gwen probably hoped for was him not hunting her anymore.

since gwen in the movies didn't kill her peter, there's technically a way for the manhunt to be called off and dismissed as captain stacy using taxpayer money to fuel his grief, and for gwen to be exonerated. i'm going with that, to do something a little different.

gwen's transformation into ghost-spider is tied in with puberty/coming of age and transition. she's finally ready to let go of all those traditional trappings of being a girl, and take her first steps as an adult woman, being fully honest to her family about who she is, without caring about fitting into any societal standards.

in terms of the seven stages of grief, we're at acceptance.

'you should be angry/you should do something' -- a little echo of 138

carnage is red. however mjarnage is a gorgeous mixture of reds, blacks, purples, oranges and yellows. i think gwarnage (bleh at that name) is a mix of the two: mjarnage's color palate, but with gwenom's silhouette and maybe a few small differences, like more armoring along the calves and forearms to nod to her ballet slipper ribbons and gloves.

symbiotes reflect the personalities of their most prominent hosts. 616-carnage's was a schizophrenic serial killer, so of course it's Like That. carnage-65b, in this fic, would be bonding with only gwen, so it'll be more of an embodiment of gwen's anger, vengeful streak and drive to survive, like comics-gwenom's.

comics-gwen mostly keeps her suit shifted to the classic spider-woman costume. gwenom only pops up when she's mad or stressed. to keep her distinct, gwen b mostly wears carnage on her sleeve.

social media reactions: meta. people think gwenom is less sexy than the spider-gwen costume, and they would absolutely pitch a fit about their daughters' precious role model being too problematic.

hobie-65 is a preteen who tags buildings and hates gentrifiers. he is so much more like young miles than hobie-138.

ock-65b is wildly different than comics-65 ock. i think this is kind of endearing, that movie gwen gets her own unique bad guy. especially since most of her rogues seem to be missing.

gwen's identity is preserved because there's no hand to pressure her into revealing it. and, with the new look, people assume gs is an alien. works for her!

if you wanna be technical, gwen b got her hand arc: after exposing herself to her dad, she was conscripted into a sinister society led by a creepy man (whose name starts with m) who wants to possess her, and holds a power she needs to survive at arm's length unless she obeys him; which she does out of fear for her dad's life. and then she found a way to get away from him, through embracing a symbiote, and makes up with her dad.

so in a sense, gwen's wrapped up her latour arc. she's made peace with her dad, secured her symbiote, and is no longer actively hunted by law enforcement. she's enjoying that quiet lull before the mcguire run begins, where man-wolf, the storms and jackal turn up. (if they ever do.)

"gwen watches her father doze..." callback to ch 2. all the things gwen missed about her world, back and current.

fall

the nyc kindergarten cutoff is 5yo by sept 1. gwen's got a mid-to-late aug b-day here, so she's one of the youngest kids in her class. ergo, she was in eighth grade when she got bit, peter either died at the end of ninth grade or the start of tenth, she was a sophomore when she met miles, a junior when she ran away from home (which would've had to have happened around january since she's in the ss for about five months by the time atsv picks up around may). so she's a senior now.

gwen doesn't have to repeat a year of high school despite having basically skipped half her junior year, because she and her dad lied about her staying with family due to peter trauma and his manhunt causing him to neglect her.

plus she rocketed through a placement test. she's a spider-person, she's smart under pressure.

(in the comics, gwen has family in london. that's who she's visiting when she goes there to get away from her dad's death.) thought it'd be funny if gwen gets to half-lie about going to london.

in the comics, 616 gwen went to standard high. 65 gwen goes to midtown, peter parker's high school. in the movie it looks like she's going to a version of visions, probably another, sigh, ~parallel to miles~. gonna twist canon here and say: fine, she went to visions for a while, but it was a case of her school busing half the student body there for classes while it repaired the building after the lizard battle.

again my issue is not with the movie canon diverging from gwen's comics backstory/world in and of itself. it's that all these changes seem to exist to water her world down and remove the people gwen loves to make it impossible for her to find belonging with anyone but miles.

and given all gwen's paranoia about her world spitting her out to force her to live in miles's, she WOULD assume that's what determined her assignment to visions.

em jay's slightly older here bc her character design just looks like it. in the comics, all the girls are the same age. here, i think of gwen and glory as 17, betty as 16, and em as 18.

gwen and her dad's caveats were: gwen will live at home again, but he can't stop her from visiting other dimensions. she will make an effort to meet people in her dimension, but she'll keep the friends she has in other ones too (... at this time, just hobie and gwen a). she will finish high school, but she will still be a spider-hero. she'll tell him what she's up to and who she's fighting, and let him give her advice and support, but he will not fight her battles for her.

basically, gwen's not an adult, but her experience away from home matured her a lot. she was homeless for months, she's been in danger constantly, she contemplated death, she lived with an intimate partner. she can never go back to being george's teenage daughter again. her emotional maturity's more that of a college sophomore than a high school senior: still a teen, but able to function independently and ready for more mature relationships. they're in that state aged parents and their near-adult children reach where there's far more negotiation of agency.

in the comics, the mjs are gwen's closest friends. in the movie, they're just bandmates, and given that gwen 'starts her own band' at the end of the movie, it seems like the vibe is that she doesn't feel like she belongs with the mjs at all.

fuck that! in this fic, the girls start out that way, but they work it out after gwen runs away. they just had trouble warming up to each other because of gwen's peter grief. they're not 65a-levels of friendship, but they're getting closer.

(+setup for gwen and miles in the end: both parties are in the wrong, with trauma keeping them from bonding, that they both have to deal with if the friendship's ever going to work. and both are finally ready to do that.)

the mary janes put up posters for gwen in the comics. i like to think they do here, and they can eventually be friends with gwen a. they're taking their first steps here.

gwen a doesn't have a watch, so b has to pick her up every time she visits. comics-gwen has a big sister vibe with all her variants, so i'm translating that here. and since gwen a in the fic's dad is dead, i figure she'd really want to be close to george b.

they're talking job apps because both of them are out of work. and playing chess because in the comics, gwen plays a few rounds with her reed when they need to talk; i figure a picked the game up from him.

hobie's watch: progress on it's slower in the fic than in movie canon; he had to rush to get gwen's done before she glitched out, and since he's out of the ss, it took even longer to get his operational.

the symbiote amplifies all emotions. yes, including the horny ones. your honor, they got nasty on that billboard. and in many other places too.

in the comics, the symbiote feeds off her calories, so she loses a lot of weight and starts getting migraines before she changes her diet. i figure the same applies here

the falling joke's just because i thought it'd be funny. another side effect of malnutrition is lightheadedness after all.

flash thompson is the midtown high gym teacher in the comics.

since gwenom needs cellulose, i figure carnage does too. cue the most miserable after-dinner snack imaginable: a raw head of cabbage.

the symbiote is sensitive to sound. given that gwen's a drummer in a rock band, it's gonna need time to get used to that. which should lead to some funny mishaps.

and all those teeth sticking out of gwenom's design have gotta be cumbersome sometimes.

great, okay, fine callback.

winter

howard the duck's president in comics-65.

jameson's the mayor of nyc in the comics. he isn't in the movies, but i think it's funny and sadly plausible, so we'll assume gwen's world is in an election year and jameson won. and gwen's dad is a christian cop so she is very worried that he voted for him.

gwen's new go-to foods: tea, because of all her time on 138; samosas, because of mumbattan; corn dogs because of gwen a.

idk if harry and reed exist in 65b. i hope they do. chalking this up to gwen deciding to let her people find her.

polaroids: continuity error between itsv and atsv: gwen's pic with miles shifts from a phone selfie to a polaroid selfie with no explanation. my guess is a polaroid just looks more aesthetically pleasing. gonna just go with it, and say that gwen likes analog cameras.

the b in english is gwen's worst grade in atsv. here, it's her best one, because girl's got other priorities than school.

i get the sense that gwen b won't go to college.

re college: comics-gwen takes a gap year after high school to figure out what major, then goes to prison. she tries enrolling at community college (i love that it's not ivy league), but bc of marvel editorial wanting her in 616 with the big spider-heroes, she has to commute to empire state in 616, before eventually going there for good after her solo's cancelled.

'not empire' is a dig at that. let gwen live in her damn world please. it's a good thing if she's not going to the exact same school as her 616 counterpart. and not every hero needs to go to a fancy college on a full ride. it was really refreshing that gwen wasn't a star student and was settling for community and she lost a lot of charm when she got handed that stark scholarship.

regrettable hookup: the gwenom vs carnage comic is so queercoded it's insane. they have an angsty guitar-drum battle over their feelings and it felt very much like one of the plans for mcguire's ghost-spider run was to make gwenjay happen. in this fic mj never becomes carnage, but in my heart that battle still happens because they had a fling and it didn't end well.

gwen's over ballet and finally ready to quit it formally.

she's over her replacement complex too. she doesn't mind if she's replaced at the barre, at the drums, if she's interacting with em or mindy. her confidence is hard to shake now.

movie betty joined the band to vent her feelings, so i figure she's a good person for gwen to do that with.

i like to think that gwen's trying to get more involved in the band creatively as her friendship with the girls improves, so she starts showing em and glory old punk and new wave records she'd have listened to on 138. in the comics, the mj's sound starts off as 'pixies x blondie' during latour and takes on a pop punk/p!atd sound during the mcguire run. in the movies, i assume they were more pop-rock during itsv (the elliphant song playing over gwen's intro), and will be headed into punk for their second round of songs.

spider-mutt is real! hobie's carnage is a little goopdog. i love it, and i wanted to include it. i figure fic-hobie probably took note of gwen's symbiote and thought, fuck it, i'll give it a spin. so now he has a goopdog.

a's uncomfortable with mattea bc of her history with matt murdock. b never met her murdock so never had that issue.

a's reactions are from the comics: comics-gwen thinks hobie's a bad singer, but still likes his music. she thinks 138 gwen's death is cool.

in the film, hobie's why gwen and her father reconcile. he's the one who told george she was coming home, left the watch with him to give her, and yelled at him until he saw sense. here, he's not so involved in the reconciliation, but they still meet and he still yells at him.

so their dynamic is: hobie has bad history with his world's captain stacy, and george doesn't like that this guy's sleeping with his daughter. they mutually hate each other's politics and life choices, but recognize that they both love and care about gwen. so they will try to get along... mostly by ignoring each other. the vibe's basically 'if hobie never leaves through her bedroom door george will ignore him climbing in through her window'

(... though 100% i think hobie pointed to his bootlaces and was like 'that's you. if you fuck up i'll do it again.' and george begrudgingly respects that)

gwen's dad's giving her The Look because he's put it together that gwen and hobie are sleeping together and that he can do nothing about it.

now that gwen has her independence, powers, support system, and world under control, she's ready for a relationship. that's the thing: gwen has to get those things FIRST.

in the comics, pav is a scholarship student who's bullied for his village background.

if pav's a variant of peter, and peter's biggest hobbies are photography and science, i figured pav would be the same. to switch it up, he's a photo nerd. (plus, it gives him and gayatri, a model, more to bond over)

the crazy thing miles did will be discussed soon.

hobie and miles are not friends at this point in this fic. they were for that first month of miles's membership, but when the unbreakup hit and miles assumed the ghostpunk vibe was to blame he stopped wanting to associate with him. and hobie had no desire to wade into teen breakup drama, so he didn't set him straight (... plus, his sympathies are more with gwen in the situation. miles, he gets that the situation's fucked up, but you're more in the wrong here and she has more to lose. plus he and gwen are much closer). so after the initial anger cooled off, they simply didn't reconnect because they spent more time being frosty to each other than being friendly.

gwen's Miles Thoughts are to set up their confrontation later in this chapter.

hobie gets away with his watch because the society thinks he isn't capable of that level of subterfuge, and that gwen came back to 65b after she quit.

more refs to gwen breaking hearts.

gwen's now classified as an anomaly, as a symbiote from another dimension bonded with a gwen who was never meant to have one, in the wrong way. i assume miguel slapped some caution tape over her and a's dimensions, like he did with miles and 42 in canon. i guess the logic goes that anomalies can be allowed to remain in the wild, as long as they stay put. and as far as he can tell because hobie's watches are undetectable, she isn't crossing over.

gwen still expects a confrontation. she wants one. setup for later.

the river-smell sweater’s hobie’s. small implication that he sleeps over at hers sometimes.

timeline update: it's been a few months since gwen returned. needed some time for her changes to set in and to get some practice with her symbiote. it's about january, so roughly the time of the guggenheim fight (... even if the animation makes it look like it took place in spring or fall, if you do the math, it would've taken place in winter).

comic gwen-8 just wears the generic spider-gwen costume. i'm dealing with so many gwens at this point that i literally have a cheat sheet with all their costumes drawn out to distinguish them and needed them to look different. so this woman's wearing something like the madame web gwen costume. it looks suitably dramatic for a seemingly perfect celebrity hero. white and pristine, with a big flowy cape to remind of miguel.

that rip spider-woman mural was still thrown up by hobie65 because after eight months of absence he assumed she was dead.

earth-8 notes

earth-8, for all it's built up as ~one of the best possible futures~ for gwen and miles, sure does have a lot of bad implications.

1) gwen and miles willingly abandoned their respective families, friends, communities and worlds forever, presumably leaving them to their rogues, so they could run off and be famous. which is insanely ooc for both. and deeply selfish besides.

2) the marriage age: according to the watcher's earth 8 timeline, gwen leaves her world after murdock's defeat (~age 20) and the wedding comes halfway between then and the birth of charlotte, when gwen's 26. so she was most likely 23 and he was 20. which is Insanely Fucking Young to get married for anyone and does not feel in character for them. (my best guess is that the dudewriters didn't want their ideal gwen over 40, so they made her 38 and didn't think through the butterfly effect implications for the ages they were at marriage/childbirth.)

3) this wedding of this supposedly perfect couple was televised to 300 billion people, and they did it unmasked. that's multiple royal weddings in one. that wasn't about love, that was about attention.

4) they have public identities on earth-8, and were already known to the public when they married. they literally monetized being superheroes, being a supercouple.... and being super-parents.

5) their kids are only 10 and 12 and are already super-celebrities with codenames, costumes and seats in an otherwise all-adult hero team. what parents let their kids go into battle with grown adults? not good ones.

6) every time we go to earth-8, the kids are just... unparented. sitting around the house, miles and gwen nowhere in sight and it's treated as standard. the kids are always with a babysitter/nanny who they have no trouble getting away from. gwiles sure are hands-off with those perfect powerful photogenic kids they supposedly love so much.

i'm pretty sure that out of universe, marvel editorial or at the minimum the spider-man writers wanted gwen out of her world after her initial solo ended so she could become miles's love interest/the vessel for his spider-babies, and earth8 was their vision of what they wanted for her future. gross!

anyway for this fic i'm gonna say Fuck That to the surface level earth 8 interpretation and try to write a version of this relationship that acknowledges all the bad implications, without villainizing them or turning gwen into a victim/passive bystander/superbaby vessel in her relationship with miles. while also trying to preserve gwen8 as the most palatable dude-friendly vision of spider-gwen. because that's what she was created to be.

so 1a) gwen-65 leaving her world after murdock's defeat can make sense easily: this is a gwen who was facing exposure, incarceration and abuse from her rogues behind bars. borrowing from 65b, her rel with her dad was on the rocks... and since gwen only seeks miles romantically when she's trying to avoid her problems, she did the same here. gwen-8 broke up the hand, then fled worlds before she could be arrested while she was presumably powerless. she met miles and they left for 8 together.

(how'd she get her powers back and leave the symbiote? idk. but she's a male writer's perfect gwen, and a male writer's perfect gwen would only have graceful spider-powers, not a scary messy alien blob monster clinging to her. my best guess is gwen 8 left venom with her dad and got her powers back on earth 8.)

(... ergo, she and miles probably tracked down earth-8's spider and made sure it'd bite her instead of whoever it was meant for. so they pulled an earth-42 switcheroo, but with gwen instead of miles and on purpose. i imagine that's why they chose earth-8 to settle in: take someone's power, take their responsibility.)

1b) miles i had more trouble with. atsv had the perfect answer: here's a miles1610 who doesn't encounter a spider from the wrong dimension, who starts out as the prowler, gets a bite from a dimensional-native spider after being the prowler for a while (not vigilante prowler; henchman prowler), tries to make his own way as spider-man (i assume ripeter's dead at this point), but no one will let him redefine himself as a hero. so he goes somewhere where he can.

i imagine his father still dies (earlier, bc a city without spider-man is even more dangerous), which leads him to burn out of visions and embrace his uncle and get sucked into prowlering (he wants to protect aaron); aaron's killed by kingpin (aaron wants to protect miles), who sees miles as a replacement. miles is stuck as the sole prowler until he gets his powers, his mom finds out and their relationship gets bad/distant enough that he feels the need to leave forever.

i figure he meets gwen because she's got no resources except her hand training and is pragmatic enough to return to crime to get by. she figures out he has spider-powers and gives him tips, they start learning about each other, develop trust, and decide to leave together.

2) they're 17ish and 20 when they meet under desperate circumstances and flee to earth-8. so they're young, impulsive, isolated, and under a lot of pressure. i figure they end up in that kind of ambiguous intimate partnership that gwen and hobie have-- not overtly romantic, but definitely not platonic. but everyone on earth-8 thinks they're a couple. and responds accordingly.

4) when gwen and miles arrived on 8, a futuristic world, they had no identification or support system. they had trouble assimilating, and decided revealing their identities on their own terms was the best way to be accepted and get enough power/money/respect to live safely. but that's a slippery slope: once you monetize your relationship, people demand a wedding.

3) the wedding was america's favorite supercouple inviting the public to invest in that parasocial relationship, so they'd be more willing to defend and support them. they were 20 and 23, of course they thought being influencers would be a good idea. (and, meta: the general audience and fandom like gwen better when she's on miles's arm, and they think miles is more impressive when gwen's his love interest.) 'america's favorite superlove story' was more a political marriage between partners in crime who did shady shit to start over, but nonetheless have an intimate bond, than a love story.

5) they probably got pregnant with charlotte by mistake but decided to go through with it to secure their image. once you're married, people expect kids. the 8 are formed after charlotte's birth, so presumably that's when they're established and powerful enough to have their own team. they gave the kids codenames because their identities are already public, so fuck it.

6) because of all their trauma, becoming parents too young and public pressure, miles and gwen just aren't emotionally available as parents. gwen especially, since gwen stacy (especially spider-gwen) just isn't maternal. of the two, miles is the more affectionate one, and gwen's the disciplinarian. they're like a miguel and jess who do care about their kids and just don't know how to express it, so they treat them like apprentices. (gwen's the miguel, miles is the jess.)

=gwen and miles 8 are image-conscious, calculating pragmatists. they're heroes, sure, but they're doing it to secure their positions. they'll get their hands dirty (including killing) to get what they want, gwen especially. they'll cut and run, and are out for their survival above all else. they're a couple, but they're more partners-in-crime than they are romantic or heartwarming.

the simplest analog i can come up with is if gwen and hobie's dynamic gave way to miguel and jess's: two unhoused kids in a bad situation who find support in each other as they do what it takes to escape that situation becoming a power couple who are a dangerously effective but emotionally stunted unit, who aren't sure if what they've become was worth it.

perfect gwen

gwen-8 going to brunch is a thing she does in the comics, with gwen-617. already had her doing it with jess, now it's the 65gwens' turn.

the light on pg settles over her like she's born to it, because she was. she's a 65variant, as we learn in this section. also, the light in gwen's world behaves like it's underwater.

miguel wants a new gwendaughter.

unfortunately all the ones currently in existence are either too old, too willful, or don't have a dad-shaped void he can fill. so far.

gotta drop 17628 and 8311/guin, plus 457 early. they'll be here soon.

specifically, the info that 457's exploring the multiverse is gonna come back.

anytime the text is in bold, that's the symbiote speaking.

we need to burst the bubble on perfect gwen. she is not perfect, she is a person.

the most definitive way to ruin gwen's reputation, as we know, is by having her do something shitty to her spider-man. or something 'shitty' like rejecting his advances, getting with another guy, prioritizing herself over him... you know. gwen b was 'shitty' to her spider-man. gwen-8's gonna be shitty to him.

ergo, gwen-8 intentionally killed her peter parker.

(+i wanted gwen b, gwen a, and gwen 8 to exist on a spectrum: peter's death is an accident and she liked him back / she wasn't into peter but didn't realize he was the lizard until after she manslaughtered him / she wasn't into him, knew he was the lizard and murdered him specifically to stop him from hurting her later)

further underlines gwen 8 as an extreme pragmatist who'll do whatever she has to to ensure her own survival, who WOULD leave her world behind. if she was willing to kill her own best friend to protect herself from a perceived future threat, she'd be willing to abandon her world to do the same.

there's no canon age for gwen8's power onset, though it's implied it's the same as gwen65 (age 17). i went with gwen b bc i thought (1) being sw for 25 years is a sexier number than 21, (2) it's a good way to contextualize her more regrettable actions and her stronger desire to leave home: she was thirteen when she got started, of course she fucked up. and her dad was hunting her for far longer and at a far younger age. (3) since gwen8 was sw for seven years before abandoning earth-8, all those canon events lasted longer. the manhunt lasted years instead of months, and so was her time with her abusive overlords.

more gwen b pulls: gwen8's dad tried to arrest her and she ran away from home for months, instead of gwen a's dad covering for her= more stress + a weaker bond to her dad that'd be easier to leave behind.

i imagine gwen8, instead of being scooped up by the society, was taken up by the hand after she ran away (on the spectrum, the event falls between gwen a's reluctant temporary hand membership to protect her dad, and gwen b's full-time induction into the society). so she both received their training, and put up with murdock's abuse full time (which means he had time to start extorting her sexually— a thing he’s implied to intend to do in the comics, but she ditched him before he could)— and all at a younger age than in canon. more context to her hypercompetency, and to her desire to ditch her world.

... but still. gwen8 abandoned her world. she didn't want to face the consequences.

also i imagine gwen8's subletter of 65 (65c?) is a world where george stacy got to live his dadcop dreams by being that world's venom. and that given how she's 38 and he's in his 50s when she's a teen, he's probably dead by now.

she's a science-inclined gwen instead of a music-inclined gwen (the two Big Types, so far), to further her palatability, and make it possible for her to devise that portal to miles's dimension.

age gap: gwen and miles were 16ish and 20ish when they had that terrible date in the comics. presumably gwiles8 have that same gap. ergo, they'd have met at that age too! yikes!

gwen8's defensive because she and miles8 were definitely doing shit when he was 17 and she was 20. yikes!

another reason for murdock's abuse progressing to a sexual extent: to make 20yo gwen's decision to hook up with a 17yo miles less gross and ooc. don't get me wrong, its still bad, but more understandable if she's trying to get some amount of power back and thinks someone younger than her wouldn't be able to manipulate her like murdock did. yikes!, but the best thing her traumatized ass could think of.

do things different: an atsv motif.

meta: gwiles are a massively popular fancouple. they move merch.

gwendolyn

charlotte probably was named after charlotte's web in the comics.

ficgwen's deadname is max. the alternate son people keep trying to convince her to have being named that felt... appropriate.

once pg's done recounting her backstory, gwen stops seeing her as perfect. thus, she's now gwendolyn.

it's batshit to me that gwiles8 got married at 20 and 23 and literally never had any other relationships than with each other.

happy vs content: another fic motif.

gwen8 is a gwen. she can only be happy, alive and empowered in a relationship removed from heteropatriarchy. once they brought people in, she and miles's relationship was poisoned. but those early years, where they were on the run together, where they first developed that bond, were real.

gwiles8's early dynamic, as stated before, is much more like gwen and hobie's. gwen's making that connection here (intentional parallel to hobie presenting her with the watch, and that i'll-save-you-look motif reappears here). and catching on that she and hobie fit into that labelless zone that gwenships need.

gwendolyn's sensitive about her kids, so she lapses into pr friendly humor to deflect. but i also think she does not know spanish.

gwen-8 is a ballerina because i want to maintain that spectrum of 65gwen palatability: a's a drummer, b's a ballerina only to get the girlhood cred and ditches it for the drums when she gets it, 8's unironically a dancer and liked it and had no musicianship interests). and a perfect palatable gwen would absolutely be a dancer instead of a drummer in a rock band. (and if she never has the mary janes to begin with, she can't give those drummer ambitions up. better alternative to surrendering her dreams to be a superwife)

'i bet you're straight too' -- you KNOW the most palatable dudefriendly gwen wouldn't be queer.

giselle is a tragic ballet about a woman who's betrayed by her lover, dies, and enters a coven of ghosts, all women who died young and tragically due to love, but spares her lover by forgiving him. gwen stacy fits right into that kind of story.

the royal ballet's in london. another gwen stacy nearly makes it there, but something stops her.

truly movie-65 looks like a dead wife flashback.

gwen8 in the comics is heavily implied to be a version of gwen65. playing with that here. fic gwen8 is from another 65 offshoot.

in the comics, a version of ham is part of the amazing 8, and often babysits the kids. here, gwen-8 is talking to the peter porker of itsv. great way to ref canon while also building into the realization that she's going behind the society's back by hanging out with undesirables.

gwiles-8 joined the society because they were sincerely seeking a connection with other spider-people, and did think it would be helpful for their kids. and also because they're so much like miguel and jess that i think they got along right away.

'calling us partners without treating us like it' -- all salt at the writers and fandom. if gwen and miles are equals, that means miles needs to care about advancing gwen's plot as much as she does his. and that gwen's individual world and story should receive as much emphasis. that doesn't happen though. so they're not partners, now are they? he's the hero, and she's the hero's girlfriend.

gwen a is totally uninterested in miles bc he's just some dude she's heard things about. gwen b still needs closure with hers.

gwendolyn plays along with the societal categories... and also pays the price: no one actually fits into these boxes ('perfect' gwen is technically an anomaly, and did some extremely questionable things). and while playing along might get you what you want materially and keep you personally safe, it furthers the idea that those boxes are necessary, and makes it impossible for people who seek a way out of it to realize you could or need help as well.

and you pass it on to your kids, who don't know you're playing the game against itself and internalize those behaviors unironically.

supposedly, comics-charlotte morales-stacy has a mystical connection to the web. the fandom keeps insisting that gwen hurry up and get with miles already so they can produce her, and i hate that more than life itself. you're not done when you marry that boy, now you are obligated to produce offspring and fuck what you want, gwen, your daughter in one dimension is special enough to totally overshadow your wants and needs. vomits.

that's going in the fic as stakes for any gwen who joins the spider-society. bc the next step in the patriarchy machine after marriage is babies ever after. and if the babies have powers that can be of use to the society, they're gonna want them.

gwiles8 aren't natives to earth8, so they should probably be wearing some kind of transdimensional stabilizer tech to not glitch out. ergo, they had a variation on the portal watch decades before miguel invented his.

i imagine their kids are earth 8 natives bc they were born there.

the kids: get into transdimensional mischief in the comics. something tells me they'd cause chaos in the society.

another reason for gwendolyn to get her powers at 13: so she can have a crisis thinking about charlotte being that age and going into battle.

re the kids: i like to think that the society mess made gwiles8 rethink how they're raising them, and they're going to try to let them be children more than junior spider-heroes now.

lego gwen is real, also from some unknown variant of lego peter's world. i know nothing about her, so she's just a cameo in the fic for that reason.

spider-witch is also real. from some marvel fighting game. also has zero characterization other than a vague reference to her having scarlet witch powers. so she's gonna be another cameo.

spider-woman-617 is an amalgamation of gwen 617, and what if...? dark's spider-woman, who has no numbered universe so i lumped her in to use the 617 title. essentially: taking 617's middle aged detective and giving her the backstory of gwen outliving peter, taking his mask and her dad's gun and going looking for vengeance.

and 617 gwen's universe collapses in the comics too. taking that and using the spot now to justify it, and solidifying the society as an enemy by having them pick and choose which universes are worth protecting. they'll never protect the ones where gwen gets to be the hero on her own terms.

we'll meet all these gwens next time.

the spot: a small way to imply that whatever showdown he and miles will have is still going to happen, even if out of this fic. again, i didn't want to rob miles of his atsv arc, just stretch it over months instead of hours and let gwen have one of her own beside it. the movies did miles right, so i'm doing gwen's side.

gwen 8 is a pragmatist and an opportunist. she would stay as long as possible to extract information.

and she'd get her hands dirty, but not in public... which is why she's talking to the irreputible gwens and asking them to do it for her.

earth 73

earth-73 isn't actually canon. made up for the purpose of this fic. she's the only spider-gwen variant who was entirely made up.

the gist is this is a world where gwen dies the night peter's bitten by the spider, but instead of dying, she's bitten too. so now there are two spider-people where there 'should' be one, and no dead gwen.

she's a gwendolyne-with-an-e to distinguish her from gwendolyn, spider-woman-8. and also to bookend gwen's story on being finally able to encounter a living gwen-with-an-e in a snowy alternate world.

it's 1973 and she's a woman in stem. gwendolyne's dealing with some insane sexism.

another cindy moon ref! sorry cindy, gwen snatched your destiny again!

gwendolyne's never gonna make it to london. again.

being out of reach: a motif for this section

this peter's only just gotten his spider-powers, so all his insecurities are still amped up to 11.

gwendy. the nickname only ever given to gwen by peter, occasionally mj, and hobie in the movies.

here, gwen's the uncle ben, so her death is the one that makes peter take responsibility and stop being reckless and attention seeking. meaning, he's gotta be reckless and attention-seeking when she dies. bad decisions ensue.

he's different, he's special, he's spider-man: bringing this back.

having to try: another motif brought in.

the rooftop flirtation/websling grabbing: got the idea from gwen and peter's first kiss in the amazing spider-man.

so. in this world, gwendolyne gets bitten by the spider when she crushes it. that's the moment of divergence from Canon.

so when she falls, she catches herself.

and so the world is changed: section motif.

issue 121 is gwen 616's death.

gummy spiders being used as tracking/surveillance devices are a thing!

in this world, gwendolyne's dad still dies. it just happens before spider-anyone is around to fight ock. that's her moment of inspiration.

and instead of being inspired by gwen's death, peter73 decides to accompany her.

this is a story where gwen and peter both get bitten, and both get to be heroes together. (it's the strongest way for a and b to witness how possible it is for things to turn out differently, if an og gwen and peter can fall in love, subvert the death, and gwen's powerlessness-- in agency and superpower. because why not?)

the Outfit gwen dies in: purple skirt, green coat. it's repeated in the amazing spider-man movies. you can see gayatri in a purple flannel. and gwen's wearing a green shirt in the film. (... they're so gonna do gwen's death in btsv)

it's a trigger point for gwen: from 'don't you dare interrupt the creation of this new story' to 'oh shit, someone's gonna do that.' it's what makes her want to give gwendolyne some options.

gwendolyne's a nerd. she's gonna think alternate dimensions are cool as hell.

she also doesn't want to leave her peter. she's bluffing to get the gwens to follow her back to him so they can talk this out together.

and the society's just shown up too. they've been talking to peter73, trying to gaslight the fuck out of him into thinking of the gwens as the enemy.

the society's gonna snip gwen73 out of the narrative.

the original plan was that they were going to kill her to force a gwen death canon event. i've since revised it to 'gwen doesn't know, but it's either that or miguel's found his gwen replacement goldfish and wants to retrieve her for that purpose' -- regardless, gwen's here to save herself and miguel's here to shut down a possibility of a new path for a spider-gwen.

jess isn't here because she's taken some of gwen's words in ch4 to heart. she doesn't want to be involved in gwen issues anymore, but she's still in the society.

lady spider's here because i wanted gwen to punch the victorian.

and ben because he's an edgelord.

and miguel, because he's miguel, and he wants a new gwendaughter.

peter73's looking for miles, who came in with the rest of the crew and turned invisible right before gwen73 hits the panic button.

the second miguel sees gwen he goes into rage mode.

look that symbiote tongue's gotta be so fun to use in combat. and the tooth hood. somebody's gotta get bitten by it.

tiger: tiny ref to em (of 'face it tiger' fame) being the original carnage host.

the lab needed to be mirrored so miles could see miguel coming behind him. the reflection motif was a happy accident discovered during drafting.

gwen and her symbiote are generally in agreement-- but it still feeds off her anger and fear. she needs to struggle with it sometimes-- and so an invisible miles can see her doing that, and assume the worst.

also i needed to explain how the society turned up early. makes sense that they'd be surveilling 73, and see the gwens, and decide to move up their mission.

and that gwen would instantly be paranoid of gwen8 selling them out.

funnel webs are the super messy ones. befitting of a portal watch made by a punk. as opposed to the structured orb weaver build of the one designed by a control freak.

miles:

miles and gwen's final confrontation was one of the first things i wanted to write in this fic.

the shoulder touch/"hey" is a ref to itsv.

comic and movie gwen fight different. comic gwen's a clumsy brawler. movie gwen uses her feet and moves like a dancer. miles, who's a smart guy who fought alongside gwen (... and paid a lot attention to her looks as an artist and a guy crushing on her), would clock those kicks and be able to tell the symbiotes apart.

the body running past them isn't maybelle or ben.

miles's temporary suspension was made permanent after earth-42.

miguel gave him this assignment as an opportunity to prove his loyalty and get back in. he wanted someone to handle gwen for him... but then went on a miguel rage, and forgot all about the plan.

miles is here for two reasons: 1) he can't help wanting to ~save gwen from herself~. you know that's how it'd go if gwen got a symbiote and started tapping into her rougher emotions.

and 2) he genuinely wants to talk to her again, but can't until this moment. taking miguel's offer was also tactical, and an indication that miles isn't as naive or as desperate to belong as he was the last time we saw him.

re: saving her: the last time miles saw gwen, she was having an emotional breakdown in front of him. since then he's only ever heard of her, mostly from pav and now peter b. pav last saw her when she attacked him and tried to die in his girlfriend's place, and pete saw her right before something violent went down with miguel and she left the society. and now here she is, months later, possessed by a symbiote in the wrong world, attacking the society. it is totally plausible to think that she needs help.

(and since he's definitely spoken to pete b about her, he does have more perspective about why she rejected him)

saving her 2: it is also very much that he's still stuck in that hero-saves-the-girl mindset. his first impulse is still 'the girl needs me to save her' and not 'maybe the girl is doing this on purpose'

~saving her~: one of the most predictable things you can do with gwenom is make her a victim who needs to be saved by the power of love or a monster who needs to be put down. by the male main character. all the more extraordinary that the actual gwenom arc totally blows those ideas out of the water.

it's an old story, and gwen hates it, so that makes her antagonize him.

miles at this point is getting over his feelings for gwen. he spent 6-8 months not interacting with her at all, after all (and getting closer to margo). he's genuinely not thrilled about the idea of kissing her better, but he still cares about her, and if that does it, he'll do it. (hence the 'i'll-save-you' facial language. you can see it in pav and hobie in 3 and 5 too.)

gwen clocks that hesitation, and it makes her settle down and want to engage with him.

miles is older too. puberty acts fast. he's not gonna look like how she remembers him.

miles's secret weapon is the venom blast (+invisibility). gwen's is the venom symbiote, which can turn her invisible.

his plan was: show up for the mission, get the symbiote off gwen, get gwen back to her homeworld safely. he had no interest in going back to hq or rejoining the society.

(which tips the favor in this being a kidnap-gwendolyne mission instead of a kill-her one. miles wouldn't help out if it were the latter, and the former could be construed by him as For The Best.)

gwen's finally capable of understanding that miles changes over time too. in ch2, she was convinced he couldn't understand her but totally neglected that she's the same.

miles is still a 16yo boy who doesn't totally get what relationship anarchy is.

gwen wants to patch up the miles-hobie friendship. it broke over her, so she has to be the one to fix it. i think he'll actually take her up on it this time.

one of my goals for this fic was making sure miles still gets his canon arc. i think it's exactly what his character needs, and i don't want to flatten him or assassinate his character and throw him away after shooting gwiles dead. so he's still getting all his atsv development, just at a much slower rate and offpage. and without gwen at his side.

ergo: after his big society blowup, here recontextualized as a suspension, he heads to 42. differences being: he goes there intentionally, knowing what he'll find, and he brings his friends (here, peni and margo). it goes less to shit than in canon.

miles peni and margo are a trio because if gwen's had her female friend group removed and is now a guys' girl, at least make miles a girls' guy.

yes, background margo/miles. flowerbyte is cute, margo's a great match for him and i love this ship! i like to think they have a sweet friends to lovers slowburn in the background while gwen's running around punching walls for six months.

so at this point miles is into margo, but still hung up on gwen. he's getting ready to transition from teenage infatuation into a more mature kind of love, but needs closure with gwen before he can move on.

one of my btsv theories is that we'll meet one of the alternate gwens the creators teased in earth-42, and she'll be the gwenom.

which, at least we'd get to see gwenom. but the whole point of gwenom is that she isn't an evil or sad worst-case-scenario version of gwen. she's just gwen. the main gwen.

hence gwen's symbiote calling that out. excuse me bitch, we are not a side character or a sad ending, we're the main event.

symbiote body horror is fun! and carnage 65 is covered in tooth barbs.

(... miles facing off against carnage is a recent comics arc of his. got to pay homage to it here, in a way)

miles was talking to miles8 about prowler stuff all along.

gwen and miles in this fic each have a perfect earth-8 variant who was much more shady behind the scenes, and a villified variant they're supposedly destined to be, who's actually a great influence on them. they are indeed the same in the ways that count.

gwiles8 set up the gwen-and-miles reconciliation. gwen8 was going to send gwen to get gwendolyne anyway, but miles8 sent miles along to make this happen.

dream girl gwen's been a motif throughout this fic. the thing about dreams is you have to wake up from them if you want to get on with your life. miles is about to do that.

miles ii

chapter 2 parallels: gwen contemplating becoming the palatable miles-gf. "they're not us." the gripping of the shoulder. the invisibility. this is an inversion of that scene; they've grown enough to be able to fix what went wrong there.

it's batshit that miles8 got married when he was 20. what the fuck.

the thing about gwen65 is that she can't end up with miles or peter, ever. she has too much history with peter (and he has too much with her), and if they get together all their development since that trauma goes out the window. and that future with miles poisons a present relationship, because that's what it's leading to. one destroy's gwen's physical life, the other destroys her ability to be a protagonist.

movie gwen, at least, could've had something with movie miles. if they'd stayed in touch after itsv, i buy that gwen's feelings for him would've developed and they'd have gotten together and been sweet. but not after a year and a half of no contact; with that much distance and stronger connections to other options (hobie, even pav to an extent), she's moved on.

(even if they joined the ss at the same time, their dynamic would be poisoned by canon and societal expectations. same result as in-fic, but even messier because then they actually WOULD be a couple imploding, instead of an almost-couple averting getting together by having the implosion first.)

and even if they'd gotten together, i still don't think they'd have lasted. they'd be a high school relationship, and those tend not to work out for a reason: adolescent love and adult love are SO different, and adolescence is a phase to grow out of. we desperately need more stories about teen love that take that approach.

and since spider-man can't let gwen stacy go, he wouldn't have let them grow apart. he'd have held on and "time would've made it worse" -- reversal of miles in ch 2. he's going step by step here, confronting all his misconceptions and letting go of them. and it would've made it worse. they have a dynamic that can only work temporarily, and the longer they're together the more that would show.

gwen's a step ahead of miles developmentally. either she has to regress or stay put in order to stay on his level, or he has to grow up too quickly. neither is good.

miles can't grow up and seek a more mature, deep relationship if he gets his dream girl. and gwen can't go home if she's trailing after this boy, fighting his battles for him.

more miles growth: he's not the exception. he's another spider-man who'd cannibalize gwen's story. meta: because that's what'll happen if they get together. the fandom, the audience, and the writers will all make their relationship about him and the longer they're together, the more gwen will be written to vanish into it, and the more miles will be written to enforce that. he'll be turned into that boyfriend who doesn't encourage his girlfriend to have her own life. being with her will make him a worse person.

gwen and miles don't need to form a romantic relationship. what they're seeking in each other they can only find in themselves.

now that gwen's met gwen a, and miles has met miles g, they've outgrown that fixation on each other.

miles woke up. now he sees his dream girl for who she really is: a person, who wants control over her own life.

and gwen finally sees past that shining light of inspiration for the person miles is: a boy who cares and doesn't always know how to help. (+half in love motif paying off)

miles is no longer a lost boy. he decided to grow up, just like she did.

(... to the people excited about the peter-pan-and-wendy nicknames hobie gives miles and gwen, please remember how that story ends. wendy gets over peter and goes home because if she stays with peter, she can never grow up. if she stayed with him, then the story would've been a tragedy, because refusing to grow up is not a good thing. the same is true for miles and gwen.)

and the only way they could ever have grown up is if they did it apart. together, they stagnate each other. fine for a temporary high school flirtation, but bad for a relationship intended to last.

not all not-good relationships are toxic or abusive. sometimes it's simply that you and your partner don't let each other grow or change for the better, or that your wants and needs are incompatible in the long-term. and just because you and someone are into each other doesn't mean you'd be a good couple.

another added bonus of the portal in this scene is: miles gets to face the light, and gwen's face is in shadow. it all ties in!

part of gwen's anger at miles has been that subconsciously, she wanted him to fix things for her because she believed she couldn't do it herself (and at the time he joined the ss, she couldn't; she had no support system, no confidence, was purely in survival mode and was totally dependent on them for her portal watch). now she knows she can.

they fixed their shit. now, can the other spider-men and gwens do the same, and even stay together?

miles and gwendolyn had it... before they sold out.

peter and gwendolyne have it. if the ss never showed up at all, they'd have debuted as a hero partnership. maybe they wouldn't have lasted as a couple, but they'd both be alive, powerful and equals in the narrative.

pav and gayatri seem like they could. she may not have powers, but she already knows who he is. and now that he's aware of the narrative, he could attempt to subvert it.

(gwen and hobie have it.)

gwen can't end up with just anybody, in just any scenario. but it IS possible for her and a spider-man to work out. the key's agency and equality... which can only exist, in a world dictated by canon, (or, meta: by writers and fans caught up in heteropatriarchal storytelling,) in the dark, in the margins, out of sight, to keep it safe from the people who'd demand the traditional arrangement. and it can only be with someone who'd never be tempted by said arrangement (in universe) and (out of universe:) can't overshadow her.

[cough hobie brown is that someone cough]

so, any canon version of gwen65 can't end up with miles. or peter, for that matter. (in fanfic, the sky's the limit. but in canon? nope. miles and peter are too big in comparison to her, and the baggage is too much)

miles iii

gwen and miles individually have what it takes to break canon.

they are both marginalized by it and constricted by the limitations of their narratives, though to very different extents-- especially since they're set up to view the other as an obstacle (to gwen, miles is yet another spider-man who's here to swallow up her story) or an object (to miles, gwen is the reward for being the hero and completing the character arc), instead of an ally.

both are denied complexity and given strict rules to play by in order to be tolerated.

both are punished for breaking, failing or not wanting to live up to those expectations.

both are ideally positioned to recognize the limitations of canon and have all the motivation to want to break it.

and both are needed to break canon all the way...

but they cannot do it if they're a couple. all that would do is break miles's canon, while gwen's stays intact. miles would be settling for a designated love interest instead of discovering his own, and gwen wouldn't get her own story. the hero getting the girl can never challenge canon because it's one of the oldest most fundamental parts of the canon. changing up which hero gets the girl doesn't change anything because he's still getting the girl. and if you're gonna break it, break it all the way.

the ultimate culmination of miles's arc (fuck canon, i'll do it my way) isn't actually him doing it his way-- it's encouraging others to do the same even at the cost of him getting what he wants from them. the best way to do that is for him to give gwen that opportunity, because it shows he's grown enough to recognize that her ability to lead her own story matters more than his desire to make her a supporting role in his. fic-miles has reached this conclusion. i hope (and doubt) movie miles will too.

the ultimate act of love is acknowledging that your feelings are less important than their freedom safety and happiness. hobie gets that right away. it took miles a while, but he's here now. albeit, after gwen's feelings already evolved away from him. still important that he got there. now he's ready to be that person for someone else (in this fic, margo).

gwen and miles kick miguel in the face because it was fun to write. also, they're a functional team again.

miles can't come with gwen because she needs to get on with her story, and her story isn't about him.

(intentional parallel to hobie: yeah, she could stay with miles, but doing that defeats the purpose of her emancipation. she has to follow through with it before they can have the relationship they've just admitted to wanting; with hobie, something romantic; with miles, something platonic)

gwen and miles' parting words/gesture are intended to mimic the ones they had at the end of itsv. they are friends, and actually get to stay friends this time.

miles isn't dying here fyi. he's quitting the society and heading back to his world. he's fine. he’s just waiting for gwen to back out of the metaphorical parking lot first.

end quote

from seanan mcguire's gwen stacy: ghost-spider. this is when gwen returns to her universe after a spiderverse event, finally free from prison and ready to redefine herself.

#arachnophobia fic

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ateezivy · 3 years ago

Text

✿ olivia min ✿

BASICS

˗ˏˋ stage name. ivy ……❪ 아이비 ❫

˗ˏˋ birth name. olivia nicole min ……❪ 올리비아이다민 ❫

˗ˏˋ korean name. min jisoo ……❪ 민지수 ❫

˗ˏˋ position. maknae, main dancer, vocalist

˗ˏˋ birthday. june 10, 2001

˗ˏˋ zodiac sign. gemini

˗ˏˋ blood type. o

˗ˏˋ weight. —

˗ˏˋ height. 160 cm (5’3)

˗ˏˋ birthplace. michigan, usa

˗ˏˋ nationality. korean-american

˗ˏˋ mbti. infp-t

˗ˏˋ nicknames. ji, poison ivy, liv, lovely, livvy

˗ˏˋ languages. english (native), korean (native), french (fluent), japanese (conversational)

˗ˏˋ dormmate. yunho and yeosang

CLAIMS

˗ˏˋ face. chaewon ; formerly yeji ……❪ le sserafim ; itzy ❫

˗ˏˋ dance. momo ; kaycee rice ……❪ idol ; lyrical and contemporary ❫

˗ˏˋ vocal. chaewon ……❪ le sserafim ❫

˗ˏˋ rap. irene ……❪ red velvet ❫

INTERESTS

˗ˏˋ likes. animals, warm weather, the sound of rain, gold jewelry, the color purple, reading, psychology, photography, writing music, riding bikes, swimming in the ocean, playing piano and guitar, making bracelets, shopping, doing turns, leg day at the gym

˗ˏˋ dislikes. bugs, thunderstorms, loud noises, the smell of beer, most veggies, sunburns, the smell of gasoline, hot weather, sprite, rude people, when someone steps on her shoes, neon colors

˗ˏˋ hobbies. shopping, reading, taking pictures, taking baths, writing in her journal, cooking, watching music videos, sleeping, driving, cuddling, watching movies with popcorn and a mountain dew, harmonizing with the other members

˗ˏˋ skills/hidden talents. professional dancing, photography, doing flips, making jewelry, baking, can introduce herself in 12 different languages, rapping, yoyoing

˗ˏˋ favorites. ……❪ movie: the black phone ❫ ……❪ kpop group: blackpink and bts ❫ ……❪ western artist: kendrick lamar, tyler childers, 2pac ❫ ……❪ color: purple ❫ ……❪ number: 14, 4 ❫ ……❪ holiday: christmas ❫

˗ˏˋ this or that. ……❪ summer or winter ❫ ……❪ coffee or tea ❫ ……❪ book or movie ❫ ……❪ night or day ❫ ……❪ fruits or veggies ❫ ……❪ dress up or dress down ❫ ……❪ apple or samsung ❫ ……❪ indoors or outdoors ❫ ……❪ rain or snow ❫

TRIVIA

˗ˏˋ she has an older sister named miya and her brother is austin from xikers ……❪ miya is three years older and austin is five years younger ❫

˗ˏˋ she was born in michigan, but partly raised in ohio. ……❪ her grandparents often had to take temporary custody of the kids ❫

˗ˏˋ her dad passed away when she was really young due to colon cancer, he fought cancer on and off for about four years.

˗ˏˋ she had a childhood friend name kaylyn who passed away from leukemia ……❪ they met in the hospital when she would visit her dad ❫

˗ˏˋ she started dancing when she was three years old because her parents said she wouldn't stop moving and she was too hyper. ……❪ both her siblings also dances but only austin and olivia kept up with it, miya was more interested in art and musical instruments ❫

˗ˏˋ when she was younger she would often refuse to talk to other kids her age and adults, but often felt comfortable around teenagers

˗ˏˋ she was a trainee at jyp from 2015 to 2017.

˗ˏˋ she ranked 10th on produce 101, making her the youngest member in ioi

˗ˏˋ she is really only close with her brother and sister.

˗ˏˋ she has fear of bugs, heights, and the dark

˗ˏˋ she has two dogs, loki and bo

˗ˏˋ she was a competitive dancer growing up, and was often the winner of most competitions. she has won states 3 times, regionals 10 times, and nationals once, just by solo's

˗ˏˋ she learned to drive around the same time as yunho and was able to buy herself a mercedes g-wagon

˗ˏˋ she refuses to choose between cats and dogs because she loves them both

˗ˏˋ growing up, her siblings had a pet lizard named randy off of monsters inc, she was scared of it.

˗ˏˋ she is a one direction fan, and a niall girl all the way.

˗ˏˋ she is known as the idol that rebranded, the pirate queen, and the nations sweetheart

˗ˏˋ she is very flexible and can do many acrobatic tricks. she keeps up with her flexibility, dance, and acrobats as much as possible

˗ˏˋ she loves stuffed animals

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kingstylesdaily · 4 years ago

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Playtime With Harry Styles

via vogue.com

THE MEN’S BATHING POND in London’s Hampstead Heath at daybreak on a gloomy September morning seemed such an unlikely locale for my first meeting with Harry Styles, music’s legendarily charm-heavy style czar, that I wondered perhaps if something had been lost in translation.

But then there is Styles, cheerily gung ho, hidden behind a festive yellow bandana mask and a sweatshirt of his own design, surprisingly printed with three portraits of his intellectual pinup, the author Alain de Botton. “I love his writing,” says Styles. “I just think he’s brilliant. I saw him give a talk about the keys to happiness, and how one of the keys is living among friends, and how real friendship stems from being vulnerable with someone.”

In turn, de Botton’s 2016 novel The Course of Love taught Styles that “when it comes to relationships, you just expect yourself to be good at it…[but] being in a real relationship with someone is a skill,” one that Styles himself has often had to hone in the unforgiving klieg light of public attention, and in the company of such high-profile paramours as Taylor Swift and—well, Styles is too much of a gentleman to name names.

That sweatshirt and the Columbia Records tracksuit bottoms are removed in the quaint wooden open-air changing room, with its Swallows and Amazons vibe. A handful of intrepid fellow patrons in various states of undress are blissfully unaware of the 26-year-old supernova in their midst, although I must admit I’m finding it rather difficult to take my eyes off him, try as I might. Styles has been on a six-day juice cleanse in readiness for Vogue’s photographer Tyler Mitchell. He practices Pilates (“I’ve got very tight hamstrings—trying to get those open”) and meditates twice a day. “It has changed my life,” he avers, “but it’s so subtle. It’s helped me just be more present. I feel like I’m able to enjoy the things that are happening right in front of me, even if it’s food or it’s coffee or it’s being with a friend—or a swim in a really cold pond!” Styles also feels that his meditation practices have helped him through the tumult of 2020: “Meditation just brings a stillness that has been really beneficial, I think, for my mental health.”

Styles has been a pescatarian for three years, inspired by the vegan food that several members of his current band prepared on tour. “My body definitely feels better for it,” he says. His shapely torso is prettily inscribed with the tattoos of a Victorian sailor—a rose, a galleon, a mermaid, an anchor, and a palm tree among them, and, straddling his clavicle, the dates 1967 and 1957 (the respective birth years of his mother and father). Frankly, I rather wish I’d packed a beach muumuu.

We take the piratical gangplank that juts into the water and dive in. Let me tell you, this is not the Aegean. The glacial water is a cloudy phlegm green beneath the surface, and clammy reeds slap one’s ankles. Styles, who admits he will try any fad, has recently had a couple of cryotherapy sessions and is evidently less susceptible to the cold. By the time we have swum a full circuit, however, body temperatures have adjusted, and the ice, you might say, has been broken. Duly invigorated, we are ready to face the day. Styles has thoughtfully brought a canister of coffee and some bottles of water in his backpack, and we sit at either end of a park bench for a socially distanced chat.

It seems that he has had a productive year. At the onset of lockdown, Styles found himself in his second home, in the canyons of Los Angeles. After a few days on his own, however, he moved in with a pod of three friends (and subsequently with two band members, Mitch Rowland and Sarah Jones). They “would put names in a hat and plan the week out,” Styles explains. “If you were Monday, you would choose the movie, dinner, and the activity for that day. I like to make soups, and there was a big array of movies; we went all over the board,” from Goodfellas to Clueless. The experience, says Styles, “has been a really good lesson in what makes me happy now. It’s such a good example of living in the moment. I honestly just like being around my friends,” he adds. “That’s been my biggest takeaway. Just being on my own the whole time, I would have been miserable.”

Styles is big on friendship groups and considers his former and legendarily hysteria-inducing boy band, One Direction, to have been one of them. “I think the typical thing is to come out of a band like that and almost feel like you have to apologize for being in it,” says Styles. “But I loved my time in it. It was all new to me, and I was trying to learn as much as I could. I wanted to soak it in…. I think that’s probably why I like traveling now—soaking stuff up.” In a post-COVID future, he is contemplating a temporary move to Tokyo, explaining that “there’s a respect and a stillness, a quietness that I really loved every time I’ve been there.”

In 1D, Styles was making music whenever he could. “After a show you’d go in a hotel room and put down some vocals,” he recalls. As a result, his first solo album, 2017’s Harry Styles, “was when I really fell in love with being in the studio,” he says. “I loved it as much as touring.” Today he favors isolating with his core group of collaborators, “our little bubble”—Rowland, Kid Harpoon (né Tom Hull), and Tyler Johnson. “A safe space,” as he describes it.

In the music he has been working on in 2020, Styles wants to capture the experimental spirit that informed his second album, last year’s Fine Line. With his debut album, “I was very much finding out what my sound was as a solo artist,” he says. “I can see all the places where it almost felt like I was bowling with the bumpers up. I think with the second album I let go of the fear of getting it wrong and…it was really joyous and really free. I think with music it’s so important to evolve—and that extends to clothes and videos and all that stuff. That’s why you look back at David Bowie with Ziggy Stardust or the Beatles and their different eras—that fearlessness is super inspiring.”

The seismic changes of 2020—including the Black Lives Matter uprising around racial justice—has also provided Styles with an opportunity for personal growth. “I think it’s a time for opening up and learning and listening,” he says. “I’ve been trying to read and educate myself so that in 20 years I’m still doing the right things and taking the right steps. I believe in karma, and I think it’s just a time right now where we could use a little more kindness and empathy and patience with people, be a little more prepared to listen and grow.”

Meanwhile, Styles’s euphoric single “Watermelon Sugar” became something of an escapist anthem for this dystopian summer of 2020. The video, featuring Styles (dressed in ’70s-flavored Gucci and Bode) cavorting with a pack of beach-babe girls and boys, was shot in January, before lockdown rules came into play. By the time it was ready to be released in May, a poignant epigraph had been added: “This video is dedicated to touching.”

Styles is looking forward to touring again, when “it’s safe for everyone,” because, as he notes, “being up against people is part of the whole thing. You can’t really re-create it in any way.” But it hasn’t always been so. Early in his career, Styles was so stricken with stage fright that he regularly threw up preperformance. “I just always thought I was going to mess up or something,” he remembers. “But I’ve felt really lucky to have a group of incredibly generous fans. They’re generous emotionally—and when they come to the show, they give so much that it creates this atmosphere that I’ve always found so loving and accepting.”

THIS SUMMER, when it was safe enough to travel, Styles returned to his London home, which is where he suggests we head now, setting off in his modish Primrose Yellow ’73 Jaguar that smells of gasoline and leatherette. “Me and my dad have always bonded over cars,” Styles explains. “I never thought I’d be someone who just went out for a leisurely drive, purely for enjoyment.” On sleepless jet-lagged nights he’ll drive through London’s quiet streets, seeing neighborhoods in a new way. “I find it quite relaxing,” he says.

Over the summer Styles took a road trip with his artist friend Tomo Campbell through France and Italy, setting off at four in the morning and spending the night in Geneva, where they jumped in the lake “to wake ourselves up.” (I see a pattern emerging.) At the end of the trip Styles drove home alone, accompanied by an upbeat playlist that included “Aretha Franklin, Parliament, and a lot of Stevie Wonder. It was really fun for me,” he says. “I don’t travel like that a lot. I’m usually in such a rush, but there was a stillness to it. I love the feeling of nobody knowing where I am, that kind of escape...and freedom.”

GROWING UP in a village in the North of England, Styles thought of London as a world apart: “It truly felt like a different country.” At a wide-eyed 16, he came down to the teeming metropolis after his mother entered him on the U.K. talent-search show The X Factor. “I went to the audition to find out if I could sing,” Styles recalls, “or if my mum was just being nice to me.” Styles was eliminated but subsequently brought back with other contestants—Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, and Zayn Malik—to form a boy band that was named (on Styles’s suggestion) One Direction. The wily X Factor creator and judge, Simon Cowell, soon signed them to his label Syco Records, and the rest is history: 1D’s first four albums, supported by four world tours from 2011 to 2015, debuted at number one on the U.S. Billboard charts, and the band has sold 70 million records to date. At 18, Styles bought the London house he now calls home. “I was going to do two weeks’ work to it,” he remembers, “but when I came back there was no second floor,” so he moved in with adult friends who lived nearby till the renovation was complete. “Eighteen months,” he deadpans. “I’ve always seen that period as pretty pivotal for me, as there’s that moment at the party where it’s getting late, and half of the people would go upstairs to do drugs, and the other people go home. I was like, ‘I don’t really know this friend’s wife, so I’m not going to get all messy and then go home.’ I had to behave a bit, at a time where everything else about my life felt I didn’t have to behave really. I’ve been lucky to always feel I have this family unit somewhere.”

When Styles’s London renovation was finally done, “I went in for the first time and I cried,” he recalls. “Because I just felt like I had somewhere. L.A. feels like holiday, but this feels like home.”

Behind its pink door, Styles’s house has all the trappings of rock stardom—there’s a man cave filled with guitars, a Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks poster (a moving-in gift from his decorator), a Stevie Nicks album cover. Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” was one of the first songs he knew the words to—“My parents were big fans”—and he and Nicks have formed something of a mutual-admiration society. At the beginning of lockdown, Nicks tweeted to her fans that she was taking inspiration from Fine Line: “Way to go, H,” she wrote. “It is your Rumours.” “She’s always there for you,” said Styles when he inducted Nicks into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2019. “She knows what you need—advice, a little wisdom, a blouse, a shawl; she’s got you covered.”

Styles makes us some tea in the light-filled kitchen and then wanders into the convivial living room, where he strikes an insouciant pose on the chesterfield sofa, upholstered in a turquoise velvet that perhaps not entirely coincidentally sets off his eyes. Styles admits that his lockdown lewk was “sweatpants, constantly,” and he is relishing the opportunity to dress up again. He doesn’t have to wait long: The following day, under the eaves of a Victorian mansion in Notting Hill, I arrive in the middle of fittings for Vogue’s shoot and discover Styles in his Y-fronts, patiently waiting to try on looks for fashion editor Camilla Nickerson and photographer Tyler Mitchell. Styles’s personal stylist, Harry Lambert, wearing a pearl necklace and his nails colored in various shades of green varnish, à la Sally Bowles, is providing helpful backup (Britain’s Rule of Six hasn’t yet been imposed).

Styles, who has thoughtfully brought me a copy of de Botton’s 2006 book The Architecture of Happiness, is instinctively and almost quaintly polite, in an old-fashioned, holding-open-doors and not-mentioning-lovers-by-name sort of way. He is astounded to discover that the Atlanta-born Mitchell has yet to experience a traditional British Sunday roast dinner. Assuring him that “it’s basically like Thanksgiving every Sunday,” Styles gives Mitchell the details of his favorite London restaurants in which to enjoy one. “It’s a good thing to be nice,” Mitchell tells me after a morning in Styles’s company.

MITCHELL has Lionel Wendt’s languorously homoerotic 1930s portraits of young Sri Lankan men on his mood board. Nickerson is thinking of Irving Penn’s legendary fall 1950 Paris haute couture collections sitting, where he photographed midcentury supermodels, including his wife, Lisa Fonssagrives, in high-style Dior and Balenciaga creations. Styles is up for all of it, and so, it would seem, is the menswear landscape of 2020: Jonathan Anderson has produced a trapeze coat anchored with a chunky gold martingale; John Galliano at Maison Margiela has fashioned a khaki trench with a portrait neckline in layers of colored tulle; and Harris Reed—a Saint Martins fashion student sleuthed by Lambert who ended up making some looks for Styles’s last tour—has spent a week making a broad-shouldered Smoking jacket with high-waisted, wide-leg pants that have become a Styles signature since he posed for Tim Walker for the cover of Fine Line wearing a Gucci pair—a silhouette that was repeated in the tour wardrobe. (“I liked the idea of having that uniform,” says Styles.) Reed’s version is worn with a hoopskirt draped in festoons of hot-pink satin that somehow suggests Deborah Kerr asking Yul Brynner’s King of Siam, “Shall we dance?”

Styles introduces me to the writer and eyewear designer Gemma Styles, “my sister from the same womb,” he says. She is also here for the fitting: The siblings plan to surprise their mother with the double portrait on these pages.

I ask her whether her brother had always been interested in clothes.

“My mum loved to dress us up,” she remembers. “I always hated it, and Harry was always quite into it. She did some really elaborate papier-mâché outfits: She made a giant mug and then painted an atlas on it, and that was Harry being ‘The World Cup.’ Harry also had a little dalmatian-dog outfit,” she adds, “a hand-me-down from our closest family friends. He would just spend an inordinate amount of time wearing that outfit. But then Mum dressed me up as Cruella de Vil. She was always looking for any opportunity!”

“As a kid I definitely liked fancy dress,” Styles says. There were school plays, the first of which cast him as Barney, a church mouse. “I was really young, and I wore tights for that,” he recalls. “I remember it was crazy to me that I was wearing a pair of tights. And that was maybe where it all kicked off!”

Acting has also remained a fundamental form of expression for Styles. His sister recalls that even on the eve of his life-changing X Factor audition, Styles could sing in public only in an assumed voice. “He used to do quite a good sort of Elvis warble,” she remembers. During the rehearsals in the family home, “he would sing in the bathroom because if it was him singing as himself, he just couldn’t have anyone looking at him! I love his voice now,” she adds. “I’m so glad that he makes music that I actually enjoy listening to.”

Styles’s role-playing continued soon after 1D went on permanent hiatus in 2016, and he was cast in Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, beating out dozens of professional actors for the role. “The good part was my character was a young soldier who didn’t really know what he was doing,” says Styles modestly. “The scale of the movie was so big that I was a tiny piece of the puzzle. It was definitely humbling. I just loved being outside of my comfort zone.”

His performance caught the eye of Olivia Wilde, who remembers that it “blew me away—the openness and commitment.” In turn, Styles loved Wilde’s directorial debut, Booksmart, and is “very honored” that she cast him in a leading role for her second feature, a thriller titled Don’t Worry Darling, which went into production this fall. Styles will play the husband to Florence Pugh in what Styles describes as “a 1950s utopia in the California desert.”

Wilde’s movie is costumed by Academy Award nominee Arianne Phillips. “She and I did a little victory dance when we heard that we officially had Harry in the film,” notes Wilde, “because we knew that he has a real appreciation for fashion and style. And this movie is incredibly stylistic. It’s very heightened and opulent, and I’m really grateful that he is so enthusiastic about that element of the process—some actors just don’t care.”

“I like playing dress-up in general,” Styles concurs, in a masterpiece of understatement: This is the man, after all, who cohosted the Met’s 2019 “Notes on Camp” gala attired in a nipple-freeing black organza blouse with a lace jabot, and pants so high-waisted that they cupped his pectorals. The ensemble, accessorized with the pearl-drop earring of a dandified Elizabethan courtier, was created for Styles by Gucci’s Alessandro Michele, whom he befriended in 2014. Styles, who has subsequently personified the brand as the face of the Gucci fragrance, finds Michele “fearless with his work and his imagination. It’s really inspiring to be around someone who works like that.”

The two first met in London over a cappuccino. “It was just a kind of PR appointment,” says Michele, “but something magical happened, and Harry is now a friend. He has the aura of an English rock-and-roll star—like a young Greek god with the attitude of James Dean and a little bit of Mick Jagger—but no one is sweeter. He is the image of a new era, of the way that a man can look.”

Styles credits his style transformation—from Jack Wills tracksuit-clad boy-band heartthrob to nonpareil fashionisto—to his meeting the droll young stylist Harry Lambert seven years ago. They hit it off at once and have conspired ever since, enjoying a playfully campy rapport and calling each other Sue and Susan as they parse the niceties of the scarlet lace Gucci man-bra that Michele has made for Vogue’s shoot, for instance, or a pair of Bode pants hand-painted with biographical images (Styles sent Emily Adams Bode images of his family, and a photograph he had found of David Hockney and Joni Mitchell. “The idea of those two being friends, to me, was really beautiful,” Styles explains).

“He just has fun with clothing, and that’s kind of where I’ve got it from,” says Styles of Lambert. “He doesn’t take it too seriously, which means I don’t take it too seriously.” The process has been evolutionary. At his first meeting with Lambert, the stylist proposed “a pair of flares, and I was like, ‘Flares? That’s fucking crazy,’ ” Styles remembers. Now he declares that “you can never be overdressed. There’s no such thing. The people that I looked up to in music—Prince and David Bowie and Elvis and Freddie Mercury and Elton John—they’re such showmen. As a kid it was completely mind-blowing. Now I’ll put on something that feels really flamboyant, and I don’t feel crazy wearing it. I think if you get something that you feel amazing in, it’s like a superhero outfit. Clothes are there to have fun with and experiment with and play with. What’s really exciting is that all of these lines are just kind of crumbling away. When you take away ‘There’s clothes for men and there’s clothes for women,’ once you remove any barriers, obviously you open up the arena in which you can play. I’ll go in shops sometimes, and I just find myself looking at the women’s clothes thinking they’re amazing. It’s like anything—anytime you’re putting barriers up in your own life, you’re just limiting yourself. There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never really thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something.”

“He’s up for it,” confirms Lambert, who earlier this year, for instance, found a JW Anderson cardigan with the look of a Rubik’s Cube (“on sale at matches.com!”). Styles wore it, accessorized with his own pearl necklace, for a Today rehearsal in February and it went viral: His fans were soon knitting their own versions and posting the results on TikTok. Jonathan Anderson declared himself “so impressed and incredibly humbled by this trend” that he nimbly made the pattern available (complete with a YouTube tutorial) so that Styles’s fans could copy it for free. Meanwhile, London’s storied Victoria & Albert Museum has requested Styles’s original: an emblematic document of how people got creative during the COVID era. “It’s going to be in their permanent collection,” says Lambert exultantly. “Is that not sick? Is that not the most epic thing?”

“To me, he’s very modern,” says Wilde of Styles, “and I hope that this brand of confidence as a male that Harry has—truly devoid of any traces of toxic masculinity—is indicative of his generation and therefore the future of the world. I think he is in many ways championing that, spearheading that. It’s pretty powerful and kind of extraordinary to see someone in his position redefining what it can mean to be a man with confidence.”

“He’s really in touch with his feminine side because it’s something natural,” notes Michele. “And he’s a big inspiration to a younger generation—about how you can be in a totally free playground when you feel comfortable. I think that he’s a revolutionary.”

STYLES’S confidence is on full display the day after the fitting, which finds us all on the beautiful Sussex dales. Over the summit of the hill, with its trees blown horizontal by the fierce winds, lies the English Channel. Even though it’s a two-hour drive from London, the fresh-faced Styles, who went to bed at 9 p.m., has arrived on set early: He is famously early for everything. The team is installed in a traditional flint-stone barn. The giant doors have been replaced by glass and frame a bucolic view of distant grazing sheep. “Look at that field!” says Styles. “How lucky are we? This is our office! Smell the roses!” Lambert starts to sing “Kumbaya, my Lord.”

Hairdresser Malcolm Edwards is setting Styles’s hair in a Victory roll with silver clips, and until it is combed out he resembles Kathryn Grayson with stubble. His fingers are freighted with rings, and “he has a new army of mini purses,” says Lambert, gesturing to an accessory table heaving with examples including a mini sky-blue Gucci Diana bag discreetly monogrammed HS. Michele has also made Styles a dress for the shoot that Tissot might have liked to paint—acres of ice-blue ruffles, black Valenciennes lace, and suivez-moi, jeune homme ribbons. Erelong, Styles is gamely racing up a hill in it, dodging sheep scat, thistles, and shards of chalk, and striking a pose for Mitchell that manages to make ruffles a compelling new masculine proposition, just as Mr. Fish’s frothy white cotton dress—equal parts Romantic poet and Greek presidential guard—did for Mick Jagger when he wore it for The Rolling Stones’ free performance in Hyde Park in 1969, or as the suburban-mom floral housedress did for Kurt Cobain as he defined the iconoclastic grunge aesthetic. Styles is mischievously singing ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” to himself when Mitchell calls him outside to jump up and down on a trampoline in a Comme des Garçons buttoned wool kilt. “How did it look?” asks his sister when he comes in from the cold. “Divine,” says her brother in playful Lambert-speak.

As the wide sky is washed in pink, orange, and gray, like a Turner sunset, and Mitchell calls it a successful day, Styles is playing “Cherry” from Fine Line on his Fender acoustic on the hilltop. “He does his own stunts,” says his sister, laughing. The impromptu set is greeted with applause. “Thank you, Antwerp!” says Styles playfully, bowing to the crowd. “Thank you, fashion!”

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marciabrady · 3 years ago

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What's the issue with Cinderella 2015? Despite having nothing against her, I had never been especially invested in Cinderella, so I might have missed some details, but I always thought original Cinderella and 2015 Cinderella had basically the same personality? Especially with that “have courage and be kind” line. I always thought it was one of the Disney live-actions most faithful to the original movie (rather than, like, Maleficent) and I remember my cousin liked it and my mom disliked it for that exact reason (my mom wanted to be surprised). So I'm very curious, why don't you like it?

They have very different personalities and that's what scares me about the 2015 version gaining so much popularity- I think people are going to think the original Cinderella was really like that.

The original Cinderella was a very realistic characterization of a human, a woman, an abuse survivor, etc etc etc. She lost both of her parents as a child and the narration specifically told the audience that she was forced into the role of a servant as a child. In the opening scene, we see her get frustrated at the clock for waking her up and at Lucifer. Yet, she knows she has to make the best of things. There's no where for her to go and no one to help her. We've learned she rebels in the ways she knows how- she saves mice from household traps, against the wishes of the stepfamily, and makes them clothes and feeds them. She keeps her faithful old dog, Bruno, in the house against their wishes too. And yes, she is kind, but she also has her limits and gets frustrated. In a scene where Lucifer, the cat, spoils her cleaning, she chases after him with a broom. She raises her voice at times and clearly expresses frustration because she's a human being and not a creepy, smiling zombie. Then, when the invitation to the ball comes, she asserts for her right to go. She's made fun of by her stepfamily, and it isn't until she uses the legal language of the document that she traps them into letting her go. She stands up for herself. And, while her stepfamily wants to go for a chance to marry the prince, Cinderella never expresses wanting to find love or being interested in a man. She just wants to go to have a good time and a night off. Then, after they rip her dress and physically attack her, her Fairy Godmother comes to her. NOW. Many people say it's the Fairy Godmother who saves her (which would still make it women supporting women) but I still think it's Cinderella. The Fairy Godmother isn't doing anything for Cinderella that Cinderella hasn't done for others. She's giving Cinderella a dress- think about how many mice Cinderella was the Fairy Godmother to. She's fed them and clothed them and homed them, so it's really just Cinderella's good deeds coming back to her. Then, with her new gown, she heads off toward the ball. She comes in without an escort and is the only young woman who's not waiting in line for the prince. She makes her way through the halls, entranced by the architecture and splendor of the castle. The prince spots her and they dance. She then leaves the prince without giving him her name because, again, she never expected to be saved by anyone. She never even wanted a romance. She just came to enjoy herself. She also even mentioned that she didn't know he was the prince. Then, the next morning, news gets out the prince is looking for the girl he danced with to make her his bride. Cinderella views this as her way out of her abusive household and leaps at the opportunity. Only, then the stepmother catches on and locks Cinderella into the attic room. Does Cinderella take this? NO! She's pounding against the door, screaming, and even after Lucifer traps the mice with the key, it's her quick thinking to bring Bruno, who then chases Lucifer. This is another plotpoint I want to address. People keep saying the mice save Cinderella and wrong AGAIN. 1) Lucifer trapped the mice, so if it wasn't for Cinderella's quick thinking, she'd still be in the attic 2) the mice are only coming to her because she's been kind to them for YEARS and regularly rescues their lives. If she were like Anastasia or Drizella and was cruel, they wouldn't be helping her. So it's a wonderful message about how your good deeds come back to you. ANYWAY, Cinderella then marches down the steps and saves herself by presenting the other slipper. She has agency, she's humorous, she's clever, and she's realistic.

Lily James smiles. That's about it to her characterization. I think her view of Cinderella is that Cinderella's nice and that's about it- and kindness is a behavior, not a personality trait. I mean, Lily's Cinderella characterization is so flawed and weak in its construct. Lily's Cinderella is an adult when her father dies, not the child Cinderella was. She has more than enough friends and regularly horseback rides away from home, demonstrating the resources and capabilities to escape. But the only reason she doesn't run away is because she's 'respecting her family's home', which she leaves in the end anyway. Honestly, Lily's Cinderella isn't even really depicted as being abused in this film. She literally volunteers her room up to the stepsisters. When it comes time for the ball, she doesn't really stand up for her right to go like animated Cinderella, she just speaks in French to make a point??? Even though the film is supposed to take place in France??? OH, and I forgot, she met the Prince in the woods prior to the invitation so he's the reason she wants to go to the ball. Then, she goes to the ball, and when the news comes out that she's who the prince wants, the stepmother locks her in her room. Lily's Cinderella doesn't fight to get out- she just sings and dances in a circle. The mice open the window, leading one of the King's men to hear her song and that's how they find her. Yeah lol

#ask #anonymous

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shannendoherty-fans · 3 years ago

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Shannen Doherty on Working Despite Having Stage 4 Cancer: ‘I’m Just Trying to Live the Best I Can’

Sep 30, 2021. By Kate Aurthur. Photography by Kurt Iswarienko.

After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, Shannen Doherty meticulously documented every step of her treatment on Instagram, from shaving her head to the horrors of chemo — and eventually her remission in April 2017. The actor, best known for “Beverly Hills, 90210,” “Heathers” and “Charmed,” would post multiple times each week, also peppering her feed with her workouts, dinners with friends and family and — one of Doherty’s passions — images of dogs in urgent need of adoption. “At that time, I think I needed it,” she says now about chronicling her treatment. And having been a fixture in the tabloids for decades, Doherty wanted to be in control of the narrative: “I wanted to own my life. It’s my life!” The social engagement carried her through, especially as other people shared their own stories in her Instagram comments. “It was empowering,” she says.

Doherty’s cancer recurred in early winter 2019, and is now metastatic Stage 4 cancer. She can be treated but not cured; she’s living with this disease for the rest of her life. And right now, on Instagram, though she still posts once or twice a week, she’s very much not detailing what this experience has been like. “I’m in a hermit phase?” Doherty says with a laugh, using upspeak. “I’m sort of taking all that energy and giving it to myself at the moment.”

What she’s concentrating on is not only working, but proving to Hollywood that people with cancer can work. “The best example that I can continue to set for other people with cancer, and to the outside world who doesn’t have cancer,” Doherty says, “is to show them what a cancer patient looks like. We are employable.

“So for me, I’m just trying to live the best I can, to be the best example at this moment.”

And she’s doing just that. Doherty, who turned 50 in April, filmed three movies back to back this year. Two of them will air during the same weekend — on Oct. 9 and 10 — on Lifetime. The first, “Dying to Belong,” is a remake of a 1997 TV movie (with Hilary Swank) about the dangers of sorority hazing, and it is archetypal Lifetime: an issues-oriented examination of a tragedy that also manages to entertain. In it, Doherty plays the mother of the girl who’s been hazed to death; she won’t accept the university’s account of the events, and turns investigator with the help of her daughter’s best friend. The second movie, “List of a Lifetime,” is about a woman (Kelly Hu) who’s been diagnosed with breast cancer, and gets in touch with the adult daughter she’d placed for adoption to tell her she may have the BRCA gene. Doherty plays the young woman’s adoptive mother, who at first is less than enthused about the intrusion — but comes around. The third project, a Bruce Willis action extravaganza called “The Fortress,” will be released next year in theaters.

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the creative team behind “List of a Lifetime” was “tossing names around” with the network about who might direct the special content that would air after the film. Doherty, who has directing experience, including three episodes of “Charmed,” volunteered. Lifetime agreed, and Doherty’s call to action — featuring herself and her co-stars, and shot in an empty warehouse — will accompany the movie.

Doherty loves directing, especially working with actors. “I’m a total nerd when it comes to cameras and lenses and lighting — creating a mood and a tone,” she says. “When I direct, I’m probably at my absolute happiest.”

She wants to do more of it, and is currently optioning books she might direct. After spending most of her life in front of the cameras — Doherty’s first on-screen credit was in 1981 at age 10, in the NBC drama “Father Murphy” — she has plenty of people behind her saying they’ll help her raise money, and produce whatever she wants to do. She’d like to find the right project: “You have to find your own voice and your own vision, and pursue that.”

James Cullen Bressack, who directed Doherty in “The Fortress,” says she’s well-suited for the role. “I can easily see Shannen being a director,” he says. “She sees things that a lot of people don’t see, especially when you’re having to move quickly on these indie projects.”

When Bressack first worked with Doherty in 2013, he was “a little nervous meeting her,” because of “stories about Shannen being difficult.” But, he says, “we got along amazingly from the moment we met.”

Ah yes, stories about Doherty being difficult. In the early ’90s, she developed a reputation as a hellion when “Beverly Hills, 90210” became a youthquake phenomenon. Back then, Doherty became a pre-internet template for what we now recognize as misogynist expectations projected onto young female celebrities. The way she was treated by the press — which salivated over her every misstep, especially feuds with her co-stars — would be unacceptable today. Not that she would have it. In 2019, when there were rumors about her misbehaving on the set of the meta revival “BH90210,” Doherty took to Instagram to shut the ill-informed gossip down immediately, writing in part, “Please stop trying to tell your wildly inaccurate, exaggerated story of me. I promise… you don’t know me.”

It worked — there wasn’t another peep about it. Asked about that post, Doherty says simply, “It’s something I will not allow in my life anymore.” And yes, she does wish that a direct line to the public had existed when she was in her 20s. “Perhaps it would have been a bit harsher of a shutdown,” she says. “But I’m very much of the opinion that you can’t look back. Only move forward.”

That philosophy has brought her to the present moment. When her cancer returned, “I don’t think there was ever even a thought that I wouldn’t work,” Doherty says. After she got through her initial feelings of fear and devastation, she thought about “the things that I love in life” — such as spending time with her husband, mother and friends, and riding horses and playing with her dog. And staying employed: “When you can’t imagine not doing them, you just go, ‘Well, I’m gonna continue to do all of it!’”

Convincing employers that she’s hirable hasn’t always been easy, though. “Stage 4 cancer, it doesn’t mean the end of your life,” she says. “It doesn’t mean that you’re not viable in the workplace. It’s quite the opposite.”

With “The Fortress,” Bressack wasn’t sure whether to approach her. “I called her and I said, ‘Hey, I’d really like to have you play this role. Are you up for it? Do you want to work?’” he remembers. “She’s like, ‘Fuck yeah!’”

Doherty just wants to work. And having cancer, she says, has also made her a better actor. It’s broken down the defenses that she’d put up as a young woman. “I obviously had a lot of walls around me,” she says.

And now? “I think there’s a wisdom and a vulnerability, and a deeper understanding of life now than I ever had.”

[Source]

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modern-enjolras · 3 years ago

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Our Story

As you all know, it’s pride month. The system has decided to allow me to share our story in discovering our identity.

Trigger Warning: homophobia, transphobia, implied child abuse, rape, self-harm, suicide, deaths

In 2015, our journey to find our identity began. At the age of 13, we were introduced to the term bisexual. From there, we got curious. Were the feelings we had had as a child purely platonic towards our friends? The answer, we soon discovered, was no. The feelings we felt towards our friends, specifically our female friends (we were born female), were not completely platonic. I think of one friend in particular that we were absolutely in love with. We had known her since we were five, she was the first person to talk to us at the school.

Looking back on it, it was so obvious that we were in love with her. We followed her everywhere, and listened to her every word like it was gospel. We got so jealous whenever she was with anyone else. We just never had the words to describe those feelings, there were no shows or movies showing that we didn’t have to end up in a relationship with a boy; there was no representation we had access to that could have helped us discover our identity quicker.

But then, we went through some things that I will not ever go into details of on this blog, and ended up where we are now, with our father and stepmother. Suddenly the world was so much different. There were so many more people, and so much more diversity. In sixth grade, we met a few new friends and they came out to us. It sent us into researching for months. We researched every possible sexuality we could find, until eventually settling into the label of bisexual. It made us so happy to finally have the words to describe our emotions. Even when we came out to our father and stepmother and they responded negatively, that didn’t stop the happiness. We had finally found who we were. And as it was, around this time was when I first formed.

I wasn’t Enjolras then, just a nameless fragment carrying our feelings towards our identity. I’m the one that went through the brunt of all of our identity crises in that realm. I’m the one that cried the night after we had to listen to our step-grandfather rave on about how gay people didn’t deserve the right to get married, how we were all disgusting and sinful. I’m the one that felt the pure anguish when we heard about the Pulse shooting. I am the one that screamed on the bus at the children in the back calling us the f slur. I am the one that hid our feelings from so many.

We started questioning our gender identity in 2016. I blame myself for this part. When we realized we weren’t cis, we were so scared. On top of all of the emotions we were going through from the trauma we went through as a child, we had to deal with the constant hatred from the people we were around in school, at home, on the internet, and even from ourselves. We were only thirteen when we first started self harming. It was a few months before we turned fourteen and we were so desperate. We just wanted to feel safe. We wanted to feel loved. We wanted to love ourself. It wasn’t fair. It was never fair.

We ended up identifying as genderfluid, again I blame myself for this, and in October of 2016 we were admitted into a mental hospital for our self harm. We were only in there for a week but it still impacts us to this day. We were driven to the edge, thought we would be better off dead than existing in this world that hated us so strongly. We didn’t want to live anymore. We didn’t see any reason to.

When we got out, we thought we would be ok again, but alas fate had other plans. On October 31, 2016, we were raped by one of our most trusted friends. We still see her almost everyday during the school year, and we hate every moment of it. This is around the time we started questioning if we were actually just a trans man. By January 1, 2017, we had settled on that as our identity. We were trans. We are trans.

Just because we figured out our gender identity didn’t mean it was over.

We weren’t the only person our rapist attacked. The allegations spread through the school like a wildfire. She had attacked another friend multiple times in the school bathrooms. The principal did nothing. The vice principal did nothing. The counselors did nothing. We were never given the justice we wished for. All because of the whole mindset that a girl can’t rape another girl. Our own parents didn’t believe us.

It’s been almost four years since then. I went dormant soon after the whole event and only came back this past year. I came back and I’ve had my faith in myself and the others in our system renewed. I looked around and I saw how far the fight for rights has come. I found my own personal identity. I fell in love. I finally feel free from the burden of keeping our identity hidden. I’m free to express myself how I wish. We’re free to express ourselves however we want. We’ll be eighteen in January, a full adult, and I’m so proud of the people I share this body with. We’re all individuals. And we all have such differing identities.

We made it. We made it through all of our hardships and we’re still here. We’re luckier than most. We survived while many haven’t. This past year especially has taken so many lives, including one of our best friends. I will continue to fight for the rights of others. I may only be one alter in one system in this big world, but I know that if I try hard enough, I will make a mark. We can all make a mark on this world, whether good or bad. We will continue to stand loud and proud so that maybe one day kids won’t have to feel ashamed to not be straight or not be cis.

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Hulu New Releases: April 2021

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

While the first day of spring technically belongs to March, everyone knows that it kicks into high gear in April. To celebrate the changing of the seasons, Hulu is finally bringing back its signature original series for April 2021.

Season 4 of the multiple Emmy award-winning The Handmaid’s Tale premieres on April 28. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen June and her dystopian world. In fact, it’s been so long that our own world decided to endure its own dystopian pandemic in the meantime. Hopefully this series’ return will mean we can keep our political and social collapses on television where they belong.

Aside from The Handmaid’s Tale, Hulu isn’t brining much else to the table in terms of originals this month. Thankfully, the one other original that Hulu has in store for April sounds completely righteous. Sasquatch, the latest docuseries from the Duplass brothers producing team, will cover exactly what the title promises. This three-part series heads off to the Pacific Northwest for a tale about an elicit pot farm and the possibility that three men were viciously murdered by Big Foot on it. Sign us up!

Library titles for Hulu in April 2021 are also pretty thin. But April 1 does feature the arrival Mad Max (1980) and Die Hard (1988). Then April 28 sees the arrival of…well, Arrival (2016). Those aren’t bad streaming options in case the weather in April decides to not be spring-like.

Hulu New Releases – April 2021

April 1 Amy Schumer Learns to Cook: Complete Season 1 (Food Network) Caribbean Life: Complete Seasons 18 & 19 (HGTV) Chopped: Complete Season 44 (Food Network) Chopped Sweets: Complete Season 1 (Food Network) Christina On The Coast: Complete Season 2 (HGTV) Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives: Complete Seasons 34 & 35 (Food Network) Doubling Down with the Derricos: Complete Season 1 (TLC) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: Complete Season 1 (HGTV) Guy’s Grocery Games: Complete Season 22 (Food Network) Naked and Afraid XL: Complete Season 6 (Discovery) Say Yes to the Dress: Complete Season 19 (TLC) Tournament of Champions: Complete Season 1 (Food Network) Undercover Billionaire: Complete Season 1 (Discovery) UniKitty: Complete Season 3 (Cartoon Network) Vegas Chef Prizefight: Complete Season 1 (Food Network) Worst Cooks in America: Complete Season 18 (Food Network) Higurashi: When They Cry: Season 1, Epsiodes 1-12 (DUBBED) (Funimation) 2012 (2009) 28 Days Later (2003) A Hologram for the King (2016) A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994) A Simple Plan (1998) The Abyss (1989) Before We Go (2015) Bug (2007) Bulworth (1998) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974) Changing Lanes (2002) Chappaquiddick (2017) Chato’s Land (1972) Cheech & Chong’s Still Smokin’ (1983) Cohen and Tate (1989) The Color Purple (1985) The Dead Zone (1983) The Devil’s Double (2011) Devil in a Blue Dress (1995) Die Hard (1988) Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000) Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Frankie & Alice (2014) Friends With Benefits (2011) Garden State (2004) The Gift (2000) Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003) Guess Who (2005) Hancock (2008) The Hunting Party (1971) In The Mix (2005) Into the Arms of Strangers: Stories of the Kindertransport (2000) Lady in a Cage (1964) Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006) Life Of Crime (2014) Live Free Or Die Hard (2007) Mad Max (1980) Madea Goes To Jail (Theatrical Feature) (2009) The Man Who Could Cheat Death (1959) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2004) Monster’s Ball (2001) Motel Hell (1980) Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Never Back Down (2008) New in Town (2009) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009) The Out-Of-Towners (1999) The Pawnbroker (1964) Platoon (1986) The Polar Express (2004) The Preacher’s Wife (1996) The Program (1993) Ramona and Beezus (2009) The Replacement Killers (1998) Rio (2011) The Sandlot (1993) Scary Movie 4 (2006) Sex And The City (2008) Sex And The City 2 (2010) Shaft (2000) Shrek 2 (2002) The Skull (1965) Sleeping With The Enemy (1991) Sliver (1993) So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) Star Trek: Generations (1994) Step Up Revolution (2012) The Sum of All Fears (2002) That Thing You Do! (1996) The Upside (2017) Vanilla Sky (2001) Virtuosity (1995) Waiting to Exhale (1995) War (2007) Warriors of Virtue (1997) What About Bob? (1991) Where the Heart Is (2000) Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

April 2 WEWORK: OR THE MAKING AND BREAKING OF A $47 BILLION UNICORN : Documentary Premiere (Hulu Original) Law & Order: Organized Crime: Series Premiere (NBC) Manifest: Season 3 Premiere (NBC) The Moody’s: Season 2 Finale (Fox) Real Housewives of New York City: Complete Season 12 (Bravo)

April 3 Hysterical: Series Premiere (FX) Blair Witch (2016)

April 5 Girl (2020)

April 7 Our Last Crusade or the Rise of a New World: Season 1, Epsiodes 1-12 (DUBBED) (Funimation)

April 8 Home Economics: Series Premiere (ABC)

April 9 Everything’s Gonna Be Okay: Season 2 Premiere (Freeform) Rebel: Series Premiere (ABC) The Standard (2020) Stars Fell on Alabama (2021)

April 10 The Day I Became a God: Season 1, Epsiodes 1-12 (DUBBED) (Funimation) Desierto (2015) Knuckledust (2020)

April 12 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) Spontaneous (2020)

April 15 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Complete Season 10 (Bravo)

April 16 Fly Like A Girl (2020) Songbird (2020)

April 17 Modern Persuasion (2020) Thelma (2017)

April 20 Sasquatch: Documentary Series Premiere (Hulu Original)

April 21 Cruel Summer: Series Premiere (Freeform)

April 22 GRETA THUNBERG: A YEAR TO CHANGE THE WORLD: Documentary Premiere (PBS)

April 23 The Place of No Words (2020)

April 25 Wild Mountain Thyme (2021)

April 26 The Oscars Red Carpet Show: Special (ABC) The 93rd Oscars: Special (ABC)

April 28 The Handmaid’s Tale: Season 4 Premiere (Hulu Original) Arrival (2016)

April 30 The Judge (2014)

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Leaving Hulu – April 2021

April 27 Our Idiot Brother (2011)

April 30 50/50 (2011) 9 to 5 (1980) Affliction (1998) Article 99 (1992) Beloved (1998) Bloody Sunday (2002) Blow (2001) Body of Evidence (1993) Changing Lanes (2002) Chato’s Land (1972) Cocktail (1988) Cohen and Tate (1989) Crimes Of The Heart (1987) Damien – Omen II (1978) Devil in a Blue Dress (1995) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) Escape from Alcatraz (1979) Everything Must Go (2011) Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974) From Hell (2001) G.I. Jane (1997) Garfield (2004) Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness (2004) Happy Tears (2010) The Haunting In Connecticut (2009) The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia (2013) Hitman’s Run (1999) How Do You Know (2010) The Hunting Party (1971) The January Man (1989) Jennifer 8 (1992) Jumping The Broom (2011) The Last Waltz (1978) Mad Max (1980) Madea Goes To Jail (Theatrical Feature) (2009) Mafia! (Jane Austen’s) (1998) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2004) Motel Hell (1980) Mousehunt (1997) My Best Friend’S Girl (2008) Never Back Down (2008) Ninja Assassin (2009) The Omen (1976) (1976) Only God Forgives (2013) Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2009) Platoon (1986) Pretty Woman (1990) The Prince Of Tides (1991) The Replacement Killers (1998) Sands of Iwo Jima (1950) Shaft (2000) The Shootist (1976) Sideways (2004) Strategic Air Command (1955) The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009) Teresa’s Tattoo (1994) That Thing You Do! (1996) Two Weeks (2006) Waking Ned Devine (1998) Walking Tall (1973) Warriors of Virtue (1997) What About Bob? (1991) The Whole Nine Yards (2000) Wonder Boys (2000) X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Young Adult (2011)

The post Hulu New Releases: April 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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taekooktimeline · 4 years ago

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Could you please summarize the different stages they went through with the time frames including how they felt about each other at the time and what they’d told each other, and what the nature of their relationship was if you don’t mind?? (and also like big steps/milestones in their relationship like confessions, first kiss, first whatever). It just all seems kinda... muddled (which obviously it’s complicated by nature but if you could please help out i’d really appreciate it!! ty💗)

Sara & Kayla give different recaps. Sara will just do a minimal scheme while Kayla includes events. This is quite lengthy. Warning: It’s all opinion!

Sara:

— 2011-2013: Just (best) friends. Slow buildup of crushes.

— 2014: Just Friends. Boundary pushing coming specially from Tae.

— 2015: Still just friends, but they are basically “courting” each other and recognize they have a mutual attraction or - at the very least - curiosity. Possible kiss. There are moments of high tension.

—- 2016: They start an affair around May. Tae “breaks up” with Jk in August due to the unfavorable circumstances (they weren’t actual boyfriends). Jk seems upset but there is no direct confrontation. They are on good terms (meaning they don’t stop being friends). They start to mess around again during BS&T promotions until the end of Nov, which is when they stop again. BH starts cutting them out of content.

—- 2017: Tae regrets it & makes efforts to win Jk back (romantically). They both had started to hang out with friends outside of BTS which caused additional friction. Tae confesses to Jk at the start of March which is probably the first time there was an actual love confession between them. They start a serious relationship.

— 2018: Jk falls into a slump at the very beginning of the year (probs having to do with fame, identity, restrictions, etc) which causes Tae to suffer as well. (The group as a whole was also having a hard time but we are focusing on TK). This can be considered a crisis but they resolved it and came out stronger out of it, both as individuals and as a couple. As a group too !

— 2019: closeting intensifies even more but funnily enough they drop big lgbtq hints. They mature as a couple. By the end of the year(?) they start living in different apartments when they aren’t promoting which causes them to spend less time together.

— 2020: they keep being stable as a couple. Tae goes through some struggles but they are ok. Closeting reaches its peak, their first contract expires & they stage a talk to be able to change the narrative & interact more freely in front of cameras while still being closeted. (Disclaimer: I personally don’t think they have had any type of official engagement, just that they wear couple rings to show commitment like koreans typically do).

————————-

Kayla: reminder that this is entirely opinion on the timeline of their relationship. This is a quick summary. The timeline goes into further detail. Again, you’re free to believe as you like.

2011- predebut; friends as evidenced by Tae saying in an interview he noticed Jk first + Jk bought Tae a shirt for him while in America; Jk has also said Tae brought him out of his shell

213- debut; close friends; possible attraction but not recognized yet; this can be deduced based on them singing to one another in Rookie Kings in ep 7, Tae saying “you’re beautiful” to Jk and not the girl in the “Beautiful” MV + when the members go over the VHope kiss in episode 8, Jk seems very uneasy and uncomfortable about it (prior to the kiss talk, Taekook were affectionate, linking hands and hugging, mimicking one another)

2014; close friends who have noticed the attraction each feels and begin pushing boundaries to see how the other will respond; an example would be festa 2014, when Tae says touching thighs is for pervs but then is fine with Jk doing so moments later; Tae is visibly aroused by Jk dancing in two different moments this year (April during “boy in luv” and Sept 16 when he bites his lips and gets heavy lidded); in April when BTS act out a skit of Jk falling in love, TK pretend to lean in for a kiss and neither expresses discomfort. Milestone - realizing the other doesn’t react negatively to flirting / boundary testing

2015: close friends continuing to push boundaries; suspicions by us (theorizing) of a first kiss due to Tae drawing attention to his lips in two selecas in January + Jk recommending a gay song “Memo”, in which he changed the lyrics to say he wants “one more”; 123 theory first comes into play as well as Jk starting to send messages through songs - in May he recommends a song by Eels and highlights “can’t help falling in love” + in the same month Tae and Hobi cover “hug me” and then Jk uploads a song “eat” which has the line about wanting to hug someone. In December he covers “paper hearts” and shortens the lyrics from the original by 3 seconds so “when there’s cameras and I can’t reach you” is at 1:23. He also releases “fools” half an hour before Tae’s birthday. It’s an LGBTQ song. He’s called Tae a fool before in a fan sign. In addition, there is a lot of sexual tension in 2015 - Notably, festa. In June, Tae suggestively plays with a mic and Jk puts a mic in his mouth. When BTS appear on Yaman, TK are the only ones to interlock hands + appear to share looks of complicity when the interviewer asks if the members ever touched each other. During tension escalator, both exhibit a lack of boundaries and show comfort in being in each other’s space in a way the other members don’t feel (see an in-depth analysis of the moment by BL expert Pam here - https://youtu.be/mu8K1KBcn_0). They’re still playful with dubsmash and a secret handshake. They also begin to be more aware of cameras. They’re visibly separated in November during the HHYH concert making and when a camera pans to them in December, Tae stops leaning his head on Jk’s shoulder. Milestone - in our opinion, a possible first kiss happened this year, but they remained close friends testing boundaries

2016- FWB; we believe this is when they began to be intimate, though they didn’t label it. They’re flirty in Jan when they discuss Jk being an adult / turning 20. There are suspicions Jan 26 is an anniversary due to Tae uploading “how am I supposed to live without you” on this day and jk responding the same day with “nothing like us”. They’re generally affectionate in clips, such as summer package in Dubai. Jk is distracted in BV1 til Tae shows up. Jimin claps at a heart with their name in it + TK cuddle one morning without barriers or displays of uncomfortableness. We believe the dynamics changed between BV1 and SMART based on the tension in SMART. Tae is shy and Jk looks like he won at life; both bump arms and share shy and happy glances. Taekook is also coined this year! Due to external stressors, and shakiness/uncertainty in what their relationship really is, in our opinion TK remain close friends but end it come autumn 2016. They may have reunited briefly, based on continuing to display affection and attraction to one another, but proceeded to end things again by the end of the year. Milestone - in our opinion, this is the year they became intimate; FWB/not a serious relationship

2017- they become an official couple this year. In the beginning of the year they display jealousy towards one another, and Tae is very extra in his actions to Jk (ex - GDA awards in Jan). We believe Tae was trying to win Jk back. By March 2017 they appear to reunite and enter a renewed honeymoon period, as can be seen by the private convo vlive in April, ILY signs in Chile, suspicious kissing sounds in Tae’s Brazil vlive and festa footsie + suggestive actions at that event. They are still battling through the rollercoaster of 2016, which is why in BV2 we see them be sweet (“you’re mine” “do you want to live here with me?” To jk singing “nothing like us” in the direction of Tae’s room while seeming to be melancholy). Jk sings “nothing like us” in an interview and Tae gets shy. They display general closeness, like in the Run ep filmed in Nov when Jk eats food that has fallen from Tae’s mouth. They’re overall touchy in American interviews and hold hands after the AMAs when they don’t believe cameras are on them. They also do their handshake on MAMA and don’t have space between them during the show. Milestone - became an official couple

2018- all appears fine with them as a couple, though both struggle with disbandment talks as individuals and as a group. This year is when we see the cheek kisses and “am I your friend?”, as well as “look at me, just me” from Jk to Tae in a run episode. Namsan private date on 1/26. Tae also tells Jk his eyes are always on him and he loves him during his birthday message to him. “Taekook best unit” is said by Tae at a fan sign, further proof of them supporting their “ship”. They display consideration and support to each other, like in Run ep 52, when Jk offers to trade cards with Tae so Tae doesn’t have to go to the sauna with his skin condition, or when Jk comforts Tae about his mullet at a fan sign. They also flash the ILY sign to each to each other at the BBMAS + BV3 happens when Jk is visibly excited to room with Tae (dropping hints / members congratulate) and is distracted til he shows up. Concert nape kiss. Milestone - solid, secure couple

2019- TK continue to appear close without issues or breaks. They’re flirty and affectionate at fan signs. Jk gestures twice to Tae as his life partner in the Japanese bbq interview, while Tae flicks his chin and they play footsie. They display traditional marriage threads while at a concert in Busan and Tae says Busan has his heart. They give themselves away as roommates in the May vlive with Jin and Jimin. Tae mentions the LGBTQ movie “call me by your name” twice. Jk says “I’m still me” from the LGBTQ movie “Love, Simon” at Festa. Jk awards Tae the “I thought you’d be beyond my imagination” award. They’re flirty in the “Home” performance and affectionate during MAMA. Weverse comment in November has been debunked. Jk doesn’t acknowledge Tae’s birthday online but gives him an airport nape kiss that day. ILY signs during the NYE vlive. Milestone - to me, it’s possible they talked about the future together since Jk confidently referred to Tae twice as his life partner in the Japanese bbq interview and Tae responded by flicking his chin affectionately when “family” was brought up + marriage threads + matching hanboks

2020: all seems fine, in fact, dynamics may have shifted to truly indicate some sort of promise as TK have gotten bolder - they both wear rings on their left ring finger at the Grammys, along with matching outfits, and Jk breaks the lineup to stand by Tae (again, rumored anniversary as this happened Jan 26); general closeness and affection can be seen in American interviews, dancing together on Fallon and during CNS (with JK flashing the ILY sign); they wear matching outfits during BBC Live; Jk continues to wear Tae’s rings throughout the year. Milestone- i believe they’ve made some sort of deeper promise to each other, hence why Jk wears the rings and their actions are generally loud.

Final reminder this is all opinion / theory. You’re entitled to believe as you like. This is our stance.

#taekooktimeline #asks #discussions

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queermediastudies · 4 years ago

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Putting the “Camp” Back in “Conversion Camp”

How But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) Makes a Comedy Out Of Conversion Therapy (And Whether or Not it Should)

Jamie Babbit’s cult classic, But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) paints a satirical portrait of what most queer youth fear most, conversion therapy. The titular cheerleader, Megan (Natasha Lyonne) is your typical all-American good girl. She goes to church, she never drinks, and she is even dating the high school football star. She is the kind of daughter that white, middle-class Americans dream of having, with one glaring exception. Megan is a lesbian. With the help of the self proclaimed “ex-gay” counselor Mike (RuPaul), her family and friends stage an intervention before shoving her off to True Directions, a conversion camp run by Mary Brown (Cathy Moriarty). Once there, she realizes that she is in fact a lesbian, one who is in love with her fellow camper, Graham (Clea Duvall).

The film is hilariously over the top, hence it’s description as a camp classic. Babbit uses exaggerated gender roles to illustrate the intersection between gender performativity and sexuality. Unfortunately this decision to poke fun at heteronormative stereotypes come at a cost. Even the gay characters are uncomfortable stereotypes, and the film ignores any questions of intersectionality. Moreover, Babbit does not always handle the horrors of conversion therapy with the kind of tact and grace such a subject demands. Essentially, while the film attempts to show the ridiculousness of gay conversion, its use of stereotypes and one-dimensional characters lashes back to harm the very people Babbit is speaking on behalf of.

One of the most easily recognizable problems with But I’m a Cheerleader is its overwhelming whiteness. There are all of four characters of color, and only one of those characters is a woman. Jan (Katrina Philips), the one woman of color, is treated terribly in the film. She shows up with a unibrow, dark mustache, shaved head, and baggy clothes. When she introduces herself, she smiles and says, “I’m Jan, and I’m a softball player, and I’m a homosexual” (00:14:36). Essentially, Jan is a lot of outdated stereotypes about lesbians put into one character. The twist, though, is that Jan is actually straight.

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This is a good example of how Babbit attempts to tell an important message, but she fails to see the harm she causes while doing it. Jan’s character is essentially Megan’s foil. She is everything a “dyke” is supposed to be, except that she is not attracted to girls. Megan, on the other hand is a lesbian that completely defies all of the stereotypes that Jan encompasses. Both women are meant to discourage our tendency to make assumptions based on appearance. While that is a wonderful message, the problem is that Jan is the only woman of color. There is a definite lack of positive representation for masculine women of color, so there is nothing inherently wrong with having a black, butch character. However, black women are often portrayed as more masculine than white women in both fiction and non-fiction. One need only look at the conversations the media has had about Serena Williams or the New Jersey Four to see how black women are ascribed a level of masculinity that white women are not. In the film, this is exacerbated by the consistent assertion that Jan is ugly, which is never challenged by any of the characters. The motive behind Jan’s character was excellent, but it is clear that the consequences were not thought out. Babbit could have avoided the problematic elements of her character by adding in more women of color, giving the masculine stereotypes to a white character, or by having a conversation about how her blackness and dark facial hair affected how she was treated. Instead, the meaning of Jan’s character is one-dimensional, and she comes off as the butt of the joke rather than the harbinger of an important message.

Jan is not the only character wrought with gay stereotypes. Andre (Douglas Spain) is the most stereotypically gay man in the film. Whether by coincidence or not, he is also a person of color. Regardless, his character is so stereotypical it is almost offensive. The boys are taught to play football, chop wood, and fix cars in the hopes that heteronormative activities will straighten them out, so to speak. Andre fails miserably at all of these tasks, which, again, is fine in concept. What is offensive is the way he flails about and shrieks in a way that is so unnatural it plays out like a bigot’s idea of what a gay man is really like.

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There are other issues of intersectionality and representation that are not quite so garishly offensive. For example, Joel (Joel Michaely) is Jewish, and very devoutly so considering he is never seen with his yarmulke. The True Directions programs, however, is very Christian-oriented. This tension between the two religions is never addressed, and that is truly a shame. Moreover, race is not mentioned once. As previously mentioned, there are horrendously few characters of color. Even worse, however, is the fact that not one of them has a storyline that acknowledges the difficulties of being a gay person of color. The film is a comedy, so no one should expect an especially fruitful in depth analysis, but there is not even one or two off handed jokes about it. The fact of the matter is that the characters of color are not fully realized people. They are surface level representations that rattle off jokes. It should be acknowledged that pretty much all of the characters have this shallow level of development (such is the price one pays when creating a satire that makes such liberal use of stereotypes), but that is no excuse for not acknowledging how race plays a factor in homophobia and gender norms. Much of the movie is centered around learning how to “act straight”, but performances of gender and sexuality shift when different identities come into play. Harris and Holman Jones explain how intersectional performances play into feeling like a minority, “In “feeling queer,” racialized subjects intersect with religious, gendered and sexualized minoritarian subjects to “do” minoritarianism differently” (Harris and Holman Jones, 2017, p.574). In a film that is all about acting out the roles society demands, ignoring how people of color are expected to perform their minoriatarianism does an injustice to the topic at hand.

There is also a good bit of homonormativity, a concept that describes the push for queer people to fulfill heteronormative roles even in gay relationships. The three same sex couples we see in the film follow the general idea that one person in the relationship should be more feminine and the other more masculine, though some couples embody this concept more than others. Dolph (Dante Basco) and Clayton (Kip Pardue) are the couple that fit this mold the least, but one there are remnants of it in their relationship. Dolph is on the varsity football team, and Clayton is generally more demure and submissive. Unlike Dolph and Clayton, Graham and Megan fulfill their homonormative roles with a good amount of clarity. Graham is by no means butch, but she is more masculine than she is feminine, at least by society’s standards. She has short hair, she never wears skirts, and she has a tendency toward profanity and vulgarity. Megan, on the other hand, is, well, a cheerleader. She only wears skirts, she wears her hair long, and she spends most of the moving gasping at any mention of sex. Finally, there is the old gay couple, Lloyd (Wesley Mann) and Larry (Richard Moll) who are “ex-ex-gays” as the film calls them. Once again we see the more feminine half of the couple, Lloyd, performing typically feminine activities like setting up dinner and getting in touch with his emotions. Larry, on the other hand, is a curt, large, bearded man who is quick to anger. The two could easily fit in to any heterosexual sitcom.

While domesticity is the goal for many queer couples, the film ventures into what Duggan (2002) calls, “equality politics,” (p. 44). Essentially, it is the trap that members of the gay community where they ask the powers that be for marriage and military equality. After that, they feel that there is nothing left to do, so they promise to depoliticize gay culture. Duggan describes them best when she writes, “These organizations, activists, and writers, promote ‘color-blind’ anti-affirmative action racial politics, conservative-libertarian ‘equality feminism,’ and gay ‘normality,’” (Duggan, 2002, p. 44). In it’s failure to acknowledge race and the enforcement of heterosexual roles onto gay characters, the film certainly demonstrates these equality politics and a message in favor of homonormativity.

Perhaps the most difficult to address issue with the film is the premise itself. It begs the question: should conversion therapy be used for comedy? Moreover, questions of how to do that respectfully arise, and, frankly, there were several instances where Babbit failed to do so. Babbit’s own history is important in understanding why she created a comedy about conversion therapy. She herself is a lesbian, and her mother worked at New Directions, a rehabilitation center for teens and young adults. Obviously, the name of the conversion camp, true directions, is a play on New Directions, and Babbit further explains the connection between her mother's career and But I’m a Cheerleader in an interview with Wheeler Winston Dixon. “So I'd always wanted to do a comedy about growing up in rehab, and the absurdity of that atmosphere. But I didn't want to make fun of twelve-step programs for alcoholism and drugs, because they really help people, but when you turn it into Homosexuals Anonymous, then I felt that was a situation I could have fun with” (Dixon, 2015, p. 2). Babbit likely felt that conversion therapy would be a harmless target because making fun of the programs and their leaders is not damaging to anyone. However, as we have seen with Jan and Andre, the queer community was not spared from the ridicule. Moreover, while belittling the programs themselves, Babbit made light of some truly traumatizing experiences. For instance, the teens are given electric wands, which they must use to shock themselves when they have “unnatural” thoughts. Pain-based aversion therapy is a very real, traumatizing experience that too many people have had to face. But I’m a Cheerleader makes a mockery of it by using it for a number of sex jokes and showing that it does not hurt that bad. Graham playfully shocks Megan with it, eliciting a yelp, but not much else. Another girl in the program, Sinead (Katherine Towne), proclaims that she likes pain. She is then shown in multiple scenes using the electricity as a masturbatory tool. There may be arguments in favor of this detail, perhaps that Babbit was trying to show how pain can be reclaimed and used for pleasure, but I personally find it tasteless. It is especially questionable since Babbit herself has never gone through that trauma. When creating gallows humor, one must examine if they are on the gallows or a member of the crowd. A person on the gallows who laughs is using humor to cope. A person in the crowd who laughs at the man getting hanged is simply cruel. It seems that Babbit believes that she, having experienced lesbianism, has just as much of a right to stories of conversion therapy as someone who actually experienced it. She does not. This is not to say that the premise of this film is off limits. Babbit simply should have been more careful in how she portrayed the horrors of conversion therapy.

But I’m a Cheerleader has the difficult job of being a breakout text. Cavalcante explains that a breakout text accomplishes three things, “ Breakout texts also generate three definitive breaks: (a) a break into the cultural main-stream, (b) a break with historical representational paradigms, and (c) a breaking into the every day lives of the audiences they purport to represent,” (Cavalcante, 2017, p. 2). It may have not been hugely successful, but it was popular enough to make its way into straight communities. Moreover, it breaks plenty of ideas of historic representation. Finally, it made its way into gay communities, and it has continued to live comfortably within them. This is why we need to be so hard on the film. As with anything that may be the foundation for someone’s knowledge about a topic (i.e. homosexuality, conversion therapy, gender non conforming heterosexuals, etc.) there is a responsibility to provide quality representations. Babbit sometimes fails to do so, and if that those failures are not examined critically, then harmful information will be mindlessly spread around.

As a pansexual woman, I am always looking for content that portrays strong, sapphic characters. I am also always on the fence about using tragedies to create humor. I am stuck between knowing that some people use humor to cope with trauma and wondering if people should be laughing at atrocities. That is what drew me to But I’m a Cheerleader. I enjoyed the film, in spite of its flaws, but I do have to say I was a bit hurt and disappointed. I am Latinx, and I have been teased about my dark facial hair in the past. Hearing Jan get torn into for her unibrow and mustache while the pretty, white women around her did nothing was really upsetting. Moreover, as someone who is undecided about particularly dark humor, I really do feel that Babbit was tactless in her making of this film. Still, there were elements that I truly loved. As mentioned in the title and the introduction, this film is beautifully camp. The 1950′s aesthetic that the straight people emulate obscures the setting of the film, and the garish colors tell a story all on their own. The gay men are forced to wear bright blue, and the lesbians are forced to wear pink. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, outside of the program wears brown, obscuring their own identities and showing just how they all fit in together. The set design is also used in a really stunning way. Every once in a while something, typically something that represents sex or genitalia, is placed in the background to remind viewers that the sexuality of the participants will never be erased.

When it comes down to it, But I’m a Cheerleader has heart, and it has a great message. It is immensely funny, and the characters are shallow but lovable. The film’s best attribute is that it shows that anyone can be gay or straight, regardless of our assumptions based on how well they perform gender norms. The criticism shown above should not discourage anyone from watching the film. Rather, it should encourage people to watch it while being able to recognize and accept the ways in which it can be hurtful. It can have harmful stereotypes, unhelpful ideologies, and tactless jokes, but it also has love, bite, and an abundance of humor.

References:

Cavalcante, A. (2017). Breaking Into Transgender Life: Transgender Audiences' Experiences With “First of Its Kind” Visibility in Popular Media. Communication, Culture & Critique, 10(3), 538-555. doi:10.1111/cccr.12165

Dixon, W. W. (2015). An Interview With Jamie Babbit. Post Script, 34(2).

Duggan, L. (2003). Equality, Inc. In The Twilight of Equality? Neoliberism, Cultural Politics and the Attack on Democracy (pp. 43-66). Boston: Beacon Press.

Harris, A., & Holman Jones, S. (2017). Feeling Fear, Feeling Queer: The Peril and Potential of Queer Terror. Qualitative Inquiry, 23(7), 561-568. doi:10.1177/1077800417718304

#QueerMedia #intersectionality #homonormativity #breakout text #But I'm a Cheerleader #Natasha Lyonne #Dante Basco #homophobia #conversion therapy #camp

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pochapal · 4 years ago

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rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking:

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3.

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it.

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with.

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

#Anonymous #long post #read all of this if you have vested interest in knowing intimate details about my life or whatever

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ibelieveinharrystyles · 5 years ago

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Chapter Two: London Calling?

Forever? Masterlist

25th December 2015

“Merry Christmas Anne!” Ashley called out as her and her mum entered the Twist family home, the smell of Anne’s homemade nut roast wafting towards them as they hung the coats up.

“Ashley! Linda! Merry Christmas to you both!” Anne greeted them both with a hug, her familiar scent was sweet, with an added floral touch that Ashley didn’t recognise.

“Is that a new perfume Anne? It smells absolutely delightful.” Ashley asked as she took off her battered converse, she respected Anne too much to wear them in her house.

“Yes my love! Harry bought it for me, we did our stocking presents this morning and we’re just setting the table for dinner.” Anne told her.

“Sounds absolutely perfect!” Linda exclaimed as Anne led them into the kitchen, perfectly decorated as always, Harry stood at the island in the middle of the kitchen chopping a mountain of carrots, “You’ve got him well trained haven’t you?”

“Linda! My favourite Hanson!” Harry cried, placing his knife on the chopping board as he ran towards her, wrapping his arms as he swayed her from side to side.

“Look at you Harry, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you,” Linda said, taking a step back to look at Harry properly.

“Mum you literally saw him six months ago.” Ashley muttered, rolling her eyes at her persistent mother.

“Don’t listen to her Linda, she’s just jealous.” Harry told her, causing Ashley to stick her middle finger up at him, “If it’s alright with you Linda, I’m going to say hello to my second favourite Hanson.” Harry sauntered towards Ashley, “Merry Christmas!” He cried, stretching his arms out, before enveloping her in a hug, the itchy fabric of his over the top Christmas jumper.

“Merry Christmas you little shit,” Ashley whispered, so as not to let her mum or Anne hear.

“Can I get you ladies anything to drink? I’ve got wine, beer, lemonade or just water.” Anne told them as she retrieved a bottle of red wine from the fridge.

“Well as it’s Christmas I’ll have a glass of wine please.” Linda told her.

“Just water for me please, I wasn’t feeling too well last night, I’m not sure alcohol is going to help that.” Ashley said softly, “Are you doing your ginger biscuits Anne?”

“I made some yesterday, why do you ask lovely?”

“I just thought I could smell them, I remember the smell from when Harry and I were little.” Ashley told her.

Dinner was in full swing and Gemma and Robin had now joined the group, to some it might seem unorthodox for Ashley and Linda to spend Christmas with another family but since the Christmas of 2008 when their oven stopped working Anne insisted they came over as they had lots of food spare and since then it had become a bit of a tradition, alternating between houses each year. The room was full of laughter and the warmth from the open fire tickled their skin, the sound of the Michael Buble album filled the room. “So Harry what have you got planned for 2016?” Linda asked, piling carrots onto her plate.

“I’ve got a few things lined up, I’m looking forward to it, I never thought the idea of not having my day planned for me would be so exciting.” Harry told her, fiddling with his paper crown.

“How about you Ashley? I know you’re on a gap year, but have you decided what to do after that?” Robin asked her.

“I’m quite interested in radio, I’ve applied for an internship at Capital in London, Harry gave me their contact details, and when we went down for the boys’ show in London I had an interview, and I’ve been offered a place, starting in the new year.” Ashley told them, the only other person around the table who knew was Linda, she had meant to tell Harry, there just never seemed to be a right time.

“That’s amazing Ash!” Harry exclaimed, “So you’ll be moving to London then?”

“I’ve got the money dad left me in his will, I think this is the sort of thing he’d want me to use it for, to get myself a small flat.” Ashley didn’t like talking about what happened to her dad, she was only ten when he passed away so she didn’t really understand at the time, he was diagnosed with cancer when she was little, and in his last few months it became increasingly worse.

“He’d be so proud of you poppet.” Anne assured her, taking hold of her hand from across the table.

The meal was finished and Anne stood in the kitchen preparing dessert whilst everyone discussed whether to play monopoly or family fortunes first. Ashley felt herself losing concentration in the conversation, she felt her palms become clammy, she began to realise it was a recurrence of what had happened the night before. She excused herself and made her way to the bathroom, making it in time to throw up in the toilet rather than all over Anne’s bathroom floor, she slumped against the wall, knowing it was likely she’d probably throw up again. The tiles on the wall were cold against her warm skin, she stood up, splashing cold water on her skin. “Ash you alright in there?” Gemma asked from the other side of the door, Ashley unlocked the door, letting Gemma in, “You look a bit peaky lovely, are you alright?”

“I think I had something dodgy to eat last night, I was sick last night as well.” Ashley explained.

“Mum told me you could smell ginger.” Gemma replied, sitting on the floor next to Ashley.

“What’s they got to do with anything?” Ashley asked.

“Ash when was your last period?”

“I’m not exactly regular, but i’d say it was almost eight weeks ago. Wait, you don’t think?”

“You might be pregnant.” Gemma whispered, Ashley rested her head in her hands.

“Why is this happening? Why now?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, as far as she was concerned she wasn’t ready to be a mum, she was only just an adult.

“Hey, we don’t know that you’re actually pregnant lovely,” Gemma told her softly as she held her tight, rubbing her back gently, “I might have a test somewhere, do you want to do it now?” Ashley said nothing, she just nodded, “Let's get this over and done with,” she whispered.

Ashley had never known three minutes to take so long to pass, she sat on the toilet biting at her nails, the timer on Gemma’s phone went off, indicating that the three minutes were up. “Do you want me to look at it first?” Gemma asked.

“I think I’ve got to do it, it’s pretty clear I’d be bringing up a baby by myself, for that I should be able to stand on my own two feet.” She wobbled as she stood up, taking the test in her hands. She took a deep breath and looked down at it, she knew what it meant, she turned towards Gemma, “two blue lines. It’s positive.” her voice wobbled terribly as she broke down in tears.

“It’s gonna be alright, we’re going to get through this together, we all love and care about you immensely, whatever you decide, whatever’s best for you.” Gemma assured her, cradling her in her arms, “Do you want me to get Harry or your mum?”

“You can’t tell Harry, not yet, not today, I’ll tell mum soon, just not now.”

“Alright, we’ll go back downstairs when you’re ready.” The two girls were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Are you okay Ash? Can I come in?” Harry asked from the other side of the door.

Ashley shoved the test in her pocket and wiped the tears from her cheeks, “Yeah come in.”

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Gemma made her way out of the bathroom, “She’s not feeling too well, look after her.” she instructed Harry.

He held out his hands to pull her up from where she was sitting on the floor “I’m going to run you a warm bath with any bubbles of your choice, then we’ll watch a film in my old bedroom, I don’t want to subject you to games night if you’re feeling ill.”

After a wonderfully long soak in the bath Ashley changed into the joggers and hoodie Harry had left out for her, she tied her damp hair up on top of her head and made her way into Harry’s room. He’d created a proper relaxed environment for her, the room was lit by nothing but fairy lights that were strung around the ceiling. “Love Actually or Home Alone?” Harry asked as she climbed into the bed.

“Love Actually, you know how much I love Colin Firth,” she chuckled, snuggling up under the duvet like a little kid.

“Don’t know why I even asked.” Harry replied, putting the DVD in the TV before joining Ashley in the bed, she snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, stroking her arm gently.

“I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas Harry,” Ashley whispered.

“Don’t be daft, I love spending time with you, if I’m honest with you I’ve spent so much time in other people’s company over the past five years, I’d much rather be up here with you watching cheesy Christmas movies.”

An hour into the film Harry looked down at Ashley, she was sound asleep, she looked two peaceful, so he didn’t dare disturb her, he knew she was unwell and didn’t want to make her feel worse. He pulled his arms from where he’d been holding her, getting out of bed and pulling the duvet up so she was properly covered. He turned off the TV and all the fairy lights, “Merry Christmas my love.” Harry whispered, placing a kiss on top of her head before making his way back downstairs.

The smell of bacon stirred Ashley from her deep sleep, she peered around at the bedroom that wasn’t hers, realising she was in Harry’s bed. She slipped out of bed, making her way downstairs to the kitchen where Harry and Gemma sat eating breakfast. “Morning,” Ashley chimed as she sat beside Harry at the kitchen table.

“You feeling better?” Gemma asked, prompting Harry to get up and make up another bacon sandwich.

“Yeah, I slept like a baby.” She told her, stretching out before pouring herself a cup of tea, “You didn't say anything did you?”

“It’s not for me to say, you can tell him when you’re ready, but I know my brother, he’ll be by your side every step of the way.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Harry asked, placing the bacon sandwich in front of Ashley.

“You.” Ashley replied, sticking her tongue out at him, “When do you fly out to LA?”

“As soon as he can I reckon.” Gemma winked at her.

“Oh yeah we wouldn’t want to keep Kendall waiting would we?” Ashley teased, Harry crossing his arms across his chest like a grumpy child, “Oh we’re only messing H, if you’re happy that’s all that matters.” Harry continued to keep up the grumpy teenager pretense, “If you don’t give me a smile I will sit on you,” Harry glanced at her suspiciously, “You leave me no choice.” She stood up from her seat and plonked herself on his lap, he uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around her tightly, her head squishing against his bare chest that poked through the gap in his white dressing gown.

“You win.” He told her, “You always will.”

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transparenttriumphzombie · 4 years ago

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Harry Styles On Vogue

Source:

https://www.vogue.com/article/harry-styles-cover-december-2020/amp?__twitter_impression=true

From Vogue MAGAZINE

Playtime With Harry Styles

“There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something”

I ask her whether her brother had always been interested in clothes.

“He’s up for it,” confirms Lambert, who earlier this year, for instance, found a JW Anderson cardigan with the look of a Rubik’s Cube (“on sale at matchesfashion.com!”). Styles wore it, accessorized with his own pearl necklace, for a Today rehearsal in February and it went viral: His fans were soon knitting their own versions and posting the results on TikTok. Jonathan Anderson declared himself “so impressed and incredibly humbled by this trend” that he nimbly made the pattern available (complete with a YouTube tutorial) so that Styles’s fans could copy it for free. Meanwhile, London’s storied Victoria & Albert Museum has requested Styles’s original: an emblematic document of how people got creative during the COVID era. “It’s going to be in their permanent collection,” says Lambert exultantly. “Is that not sick? Is that not the most epic thing?”

“It’s pretty powerful and kind of extraordinary to see someone in his position redefining what it can mean to be a man with confidence,” says Olivia Wilde

Hairdresser Malcolm Edwards is setting Styles’s hair in a Victory roll with silver clips, and until it is combed out he resembles Kathryn Grayson with stubble. His fingers are freighted with rings, and “he has a new army of mini purses,” says Lambert, gesturing to an accessory table heaving with examples including a mini sky-blue Gucci Jackie bag discreetly monogrammed HS. Michele has also made Styles a dress for the shoot that Tissot might have liked to paint—acres of ice-blue ruffles, black Valenciennes lace, and suivez-moi, jeune homme ribbons. Erelong, Styles is gamely racing up a hill in it, dodging sheep scat, thistles, and shards of chalk, and striking a pose for Mitchell that manages to make ruffles a compelling new masculine proposition, just as Mr. Fish’s frothy white cotton dress—equal parts Romantic poet and Greek presidential guard—did for Mick Jagger when he wore it for The Rolling Stones’ free performance in Hyde Park in 1969, or as the suburban-mom floral housedress did for Kurt Cobain as he defined the iconoclastic grunge aesthetic. Styles is mischievously singing ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” to himself when Mitchell calls him outside to jump up and down on a trampoline in a Comme des Garçons buttoned wool kilt. “How did it look?” asks his sister when he comes in from the cold. “Divine,” says her brother in playful Lambert-speak.

#harry styles #non binary #men wearing dress #harry styles in dress #transgender #trans pride #transgender woman #dresses #men in dresses #dress

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haddocktree · 5 years ago

Text

Dean DeBlois Talks the Care and Feeding of Flying Reptiles

The writer-director of DreamWorks Animation’s Oscar-nominated ‘How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World’ reflects on his long and loving journey creating the epic animated trilogy.

By Jon Hofferman and Dan Sarto | Tuesday, January 28, 2020 at 11:29am

In 3D, Awards, CG, Films, People, Virtual Reality, Visual Effects | ANIMATIONWorld | Geographic Region: All

Oscar and Annie Award-nominated ‘How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,’ the final chapter in DreamWorks Animation’s epic animated feature trilogy, written and directed by Dean DeBlois. Images © 2019 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved.

At this point, neither the How to Train Your Dragon animated feature film franchise, nor its longtime writer-director Dean DeBlois, needs much of an introduction. The epic adventure series, which debuted in 2010, has been both commercially successful and critically acclaimed, with the first two installments garnering an immense number of Annie Award nominations and wins, as well as being Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominees for Best Animated Feature. (How to Train Your Dragon 2 won the Golden Globe in that category in 2015.)

This time is no different: How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World has been nominated for an Academy Award and eight Annie Awards, including Best Animated Feature, and has won accolades from the National Board of Review, the Society of Voice Arts & Sciences, and the Hollywood Music in Media Awards, among others. Produced by Brad Lewis and Bonnie Arnold, The Hidden World delivers a heartwarming message about overcoming intolerance wrapped inside a tale about growing up, facing the unknown, and learning to let go. It also answers the burning question of what happened to the dragons that once populated the earth and lived in cooperation with humans.

So, as awards season rounds into the home stretch, and DeBlois faces his third round of Dragon-mania, it seemed like a good time to talk with him about this reptilian saga that’s become such a central part of his life.

AWN: In a presentation that you gave at the VIEW conference in October, you said that in general, you’re not very enthusiastic about sequels because, if you've done a good job, your story is told, and a follow-up can feel like an unnecessary add-on. What about How to Train Your Dragon made you feel that it provided an opportunity to do sequels the way they should be done?

Dean DeBlois: Well, I think it was a combination of three things. One is that I was a Star Wars kid and I loved the expansiveness of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. I felt they took characters that I loved, expanded their worlds and increased the adventure, the peril. The characters were kind of maturing and growing up, and it had a big impact on me. And I saw in the Dragon world and its cast of characters the potential to do something similar. The world could be expansive, and we could grow up with the characters. In the time that it takes to make an animated movie, our fan base could be aging with the characters, which wasn't really something that I'd seen done before – where you take a cast of friends and then grow up with them. We would leap five years into the future and find a new organic problem that felt important and universal. So, that was part of it.

Then, I think it's also the conversation that I had with [Dragon books author] Cressida Cowell. Even though the narratives are quite different in the films and the books, I loved the idea that she was taking on this challenge of explaining what happened to dragons and why they aren't here anymore. I thought that was really intriguing, but also kind of gripping and emotional. The opening line of her very first book is, "There were dragons when I was a boy." That suggests they're gone. What happened to them? So, I loved taking on that challenge.

Finally, just being able to explain certain mysteries that were inherent in the first film. What happened to Hiccup’s mother? Is Toothless the last of his kind? If so, why? Just the idea that we might be able to take organic questions that we didn't have time to explain in the first movie, or didn't feel the need to, and make them into important questions in the context of the trilogy. As if we'd gone back in time and planted them there.

AWN: The emotional center of the storytelling in the films is the growth of the characters, their becoming adults and taking on adult responsibilities, even though they're still young. That’s really the best part of the films.

DeBlois: Yeah, it felt organic to me because I was thinking about what problem I could graft onto 15-year-old Hiccup that felt important. He now has his father’s love and admiration, he has the respect of the town, he has the attention of the girl he was secretly pining for, he has an amazing dragon that he could fly around on, and he ended an age-old war. It doesn't feel like a character who could have a problem until something really eventful enters his life. We needed to go to another rite of passage, which just naturally led to a 19-year-old in search of himself, when you've got two domineering parents of contrasting philosophies. A character who's on the run from his destiny at home, only to return to it with a renewed sense of self, was an appealing tale to me.

AWN: There's a large number of characters in the films, and they play pretty central roles. How do you ensure that you give them enough screen time and develop them enough so it feels that they really belong and have a reason for being there?

DeBlois: It's really tough and I don't know that we did, to be honest. I think that a lot of our characters are underserved. If we had a longer movie, if we could make a 120-minute movie instead of a 90-minute movie, we might be able to explore them more. But oftentimes the characters do become support characters. We do our best to give them moments, give them a laugh here and there, or give them a starring turn. But when you have an unwieldy group of characters, it’s really tough because you're always fighting the ticking clock of budget and time.

AWN: Speaking of characters, what makes a good villain and how do you determine how villainous to make your villain?

DeBlois: That is a very good question and I don't know that I have a very good answer. I struggle with villains. I find them boring if they just want power or money. Unless there's a bit of empathy in their desire, it just falls flat for me. Drago was meant to be a really interesting villain in How to Train Your Dragon 2. There was going to be a sea story that followed his survival and how he became marooned on an island that was home to a very aggressive dragon. He had to befriend this thing in order to fly off the island and get back to his armada. It was a very touch-and-go relationship because they were both very headstrong, but in the end, they established a mutual trust, and it changed him. Even with all of his heinous crimes, when he arrived in the third-act battle, he took the side of the dragon riders, fighting his own former cohorts. I liked that idea because it took what was admittedly a one-dimensional character and gave him complexity. But we didn't get to do that because, again, taking the time to do that story properly would have compromised Hiccup’s story. I regret it since I really wanted to do something interesting with that character.

We channeled some of that frustration into the development of Grimmel [in The Hidden World] and making him a villain for the times – an intolerant elitist who’s trying to crush blossoming ideas of peaceful coexistence. But he’s also a character who’s fun to watch onscreen – he has a kind of playful sensibility and likes the sound of his own voice. Enjoys the hunt, enjoys cornering his prey and forcing it to make desperate decisions. He’s a character without empathy, but he has a sense of humor.

Dean DeBlois.

AWN: To turn to the production side, did you use any virtual camera work or any tools that helped you visualize how you wanted to shoot this?

DeBlois: Yes, [cinematographer] Gil Zimmerman and his team – the layout team who provided us all the previs and the final layout of the movie – would go down to our mocap stage and pull up rough versions of our sets and don the outfits with the little ping-pong balls and actually work out a lot of their own choreography. So, if it wasn't a flight scene, if it was something that had a physical space where they could really block for action, they would come up with ideas that way. It's always dispensed with when it gets to animation, but the ideas are there and then the animators start from scratch.

AWN: How extensive was the previs? Were you using it more for storytelling or was it used more for camera and layout?

DeBlois: On this film, we started to invite the layout department into the storytelling. In other words, if there was a sequence that depended on visceral, kinetic movement – something that's hard to suggest on drawn storyboards – we would talk out the beats of the script pages with Gil Zimmerman and the assigned previs artists, and they would go off and develop it. If we knew there was going to be flight involved or some kind of complex set, we would either hand the sequence entirely to the previs artists or involve them really early.

I found I really liked this step and how far it has come in recent years, where so much of the finished idea can be represented quite clearly and closely in the previs. It used to be awkward to look at – characters that would slide across floors, and blank expressions, and robotic movements. It’s come such a long way that it’s something you can include in test previews with audiences, because it's full of color and it has lighting… it’s a very exciting new tool to use.

AWN: Like many top animation directors, you're going to be moving over into the live-action world. Have you always wanted to go this route? You've been directing animated films for a long time.

DeBlois: Yeah, after Lilo and Stitch, I took a look at my personal hopper of ideas that I was working on and I would say three-quarters of them were live-action. They felt like live-action films. I decided to go out there and just see if anyone was interested. I sold three of them. It got close with a start date on one of them, but they all kind of went on ice when there were administrative changes both at Disney and Universal. It was an exciting and frustrating period and it just feels like an itch that I didn't scratch. So now I have that opportunity to return to the world of live-action and hopefully get a movie going. I do so with caution because I know that so many things can fall apart very quickly in live-action, whereas in animation we tend to commit to the idea of making the movie, even if you have to change out people in the process.

AWN: Do you feel that your experience in animation gives you specific skills that you can apply in live-action production?

DeBlois: I think my storyboarding background definitely gives me the ability to communicate ideas clearly and visually represent them. Having spent so much time on the story side of things, writing as well, I feel as though I can clearly communicate the story we're telling and engage other people in contributing ideas and making it better. I think in any sort of filmmaking enterprise you need somebody who's going to be the guardian of the story, but still be open to great ideas, and I feel like I've been honing that skill over the years.

AWN: Last question. How does it feel to say goodbye to dragon world – after three really well-done, well-received, expansive, beautifully animated features? You completed the trilogy, you told the story as well as it could be told. What are your thoughts looking back on this huge body of work?

DeBlois: I'm very proud that we were able to reach the goal that we had set for ourselves, that we didn't have to creatively compromise much, and that we did it with largely the same team over the course of a decade. It's bittersweet because not only have we come to love the characters and the world, but we really like working together. We don't know if we're ever going to be arranged as that crew again. People have gone on to different shows, some have left the studio. It was a bit of a gamble to dedicate so much time to a trilogy, especially in the ever-changing landscape of studios. There were five changes in leadership on Dragon 3 alone. With every person that comes in, they have their own sensibility and their own tastes. And so, learning to work with each person and also giving them ownership can be tricky. Luckily, we were able to keep our North Star in sight and deliver the ending that we wanted.

#dean deblois #AWN #q&a time #q&a #httyd #httyd 3

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