#adorable chubby guy with sideburns

[irvinis]

Laudanum, whoo-wee!!

As we know, drinking libations in the crypt was not Crowley's first experience.

Badger!Aziraphale and Mink!Crowley

[diamondzart]

Yes I am slow af, sorry for that, but I remember that you tagged me!!! I think I’ll tag @annchanorsomethin OwO

Here go my bois (under the cut!)

First fictional crush (you can remember)

I think the very first one I really had a crush on was Bill from Gravity Falls. And I honestly think he was the first f/o for A LOT of people, lol. I liked his canon form, but of course the main interest was in his humanization, because, bruh, look at this ultra-edgy yellow skinny demon bastard, look at him! (Fandom totally yassified him, not gonna lie)

Most recent fictional crush

Maybe this is funny as hell, but in the list of all my crushes I have only two demons, and while one of them is my first crush, the other one is my most recent. Yes, this is the trash man himself, the ghost with the most, Beetlejuice! More precisely, musical a.k.a. Alex Brightman’s version of him. But I like the cartoon one too, though musical one is my absolute favorite (movie BJ is just a “no” to me, even though he is the original source of all other iterations). He is chubby, he is soft, he is an absolute striped disaster that smells like a pile of garbage and I absolutely love him.

Weirdest fictional crush

I really struggled with this one because I can’t really call him the weirdest, but… in 2014 I suddenly became a Sonic fan and I can’t even remember how it happened. That was fast, that was unexpected, and I literally devoured all seasons of “Sonic X” in two weeks or something. And I drew him everywhere. And I read weird uncanny fanfiction, upon remembering which I start cringing uncontrollably. Though I had my comeback to the Sonic fandom in early 2020 when the movie came out, there was no place for the fictional crush since he was portrayed as a kid, and I only wanted to treat him like a kid he is – lost, abandoned, seeking for love and attention and a family. So no f/o here anymore, just a lil baby hedgehog that needs a big hug.

Fictional crush you've had the longest

Oooh, this one will definitely be the robot orb, personality core named Wheatley from the game Portal 2. To be honest, he is still in my heart, even though I stopped making any content about him. Have hyperfixation on this guy since 2020. There is a high chance of me returning to my obsession with this small chatty moron who also has pretty cool human/android fan versions based on the appearance of his VA Stephen Merchant (and I had a crush on Stephen because of that of course). And a big role in my endless love and adoration for this character was played by the “Blue Sky” fanfic. I don’t even know if I can call this masterpiece a fanfic, I’d like to call it as a “fan book that can totally work as Portal 3 for me”. This fic has like its own fandom inside Portal 2 fandom. This is a wonderful unique phenomenon. It was written in 2011-2012 but it STILL has an active fanbase. At this point I can say that Portal’s fandom and Wheatley simp club are basically immortal things, especially on Tumblr.

Most obscure fictional crush + Most unexpected fictional crush

I simply couldn’t separate these two paragraphs because this is the literal definition of my crush on… younger version of doctor Nefario from “Minions: The Rise of Gru”. I said earlier that Bill Cipher got yassified my his fans, this lad got yassified by his own creators and I’m here for it. Who could. Even. Freaking. Imagine. That that ancient dinosaur that was working for Gru in “Despicable Me” movies was actually a hot stuff back in 70s? Give me the darn time machine, off I go. He had it all: fashion sense, cool hairstyle (ginger and with sideburns, are you kidding me, like, this is hot af), lively an enthusiastic character and SMUG SMILES. In two words, he got the drip. Sadly, he lost the drip to 2000s ;( I hope with all my heart that he’ll have a main character arc in the third “Minions” instalment if it will ever come out. Because he deserves it. After all those years.

Starting a F/O chain bc bored. you dont have to be tagged to make an addition!

@starleska @monsterbride99

In this order:

First fictional crush (you can remember)

Most recent fictional crush

Weirdest fictional crush

Fictional crush you've had the longest

Most obscure Fictional crush

Most unexpected fictional crush

Mine below cut!

1. Bowser is the first one I can remember. Dont ask why I was like, six

2. Inspector Gadget my most recent, and such a dork i love him

3. Phantom virus he's so babygirl

4. Rowan North since 2016 and going strong B)

5. Dr. Nazo I'll eat a boot if you know who this is without googling it

6. Fear the opposite of my regular type, he may live in Riley's head but hes renting in mine

[mermaidsirennikita]

bridgerton--the good, the bad, the ugly

The short of it: Bridgerton excellently captures the tone of Regency romance novels and offers a lot of escapism and great sex scenes, but could definitely use some serious work in terms of how it depicts race and it should have made some further alterations to the dated and flawed source material.  Definitely loved a lot of it and am hotly anticipating the second season, but I want to see more work done and I HOPE that this encourages the adaptation of better (and less inherently flawed) romance novels.

Now for the longer take.

The Good

Bridgerton depicted sex and romance in a way that is totally different from anything I’ve seen in period dramas, for sure, but possibly different from anything I’ve seen on TV.  The romance of it all was woven into almost every aspect of the show. There is the handsome and seemingly severe but extravagantly wealthy and sexually adept duke sweeping into town.  The (multiple) rakes who just want to have fun while also being hot messes.  The awakening of female sexuality and the copious use of the female gaze.  (Note the pretty modest and minimal focus on female nudity, while we get plenty of lingering shots on Simon.).  People want love!  There is pretty minimal violence and perhaps the most physically violent scene involves Simon beating a man up because HE IMPEACHED DAPHNE’S HONOR~.

The sex scenes themselves focused on Daphne’s pleasure for the most part, and were probably among the best I’ve seen since Outlander in terms of chemistry, in terms of the visuals, in terms of focus on sex as an act of emotional connection and FUN. Yes, there was some Unlikely Vaginal Orgasming, but we also saw Simon tell Daphne about masturbation.  On the wedding night, he was pretty clearly touching her to help her enjoy it.  He ate her out... a good bit.  

And aside from that, we got all of the grand speeches, the stolen glances and touches, an excellent buildup of sexual tension that led to some pretty hilarious moments.  

I also really enjoyed many of the performances on this show.  Rege-Jean and Phoebe had great chemistry and excellent back and forth.  Jonathan was a GREAT Anthony.  I would argue that as lackluster as I found his relationship with Siena (more on that in a minute) it largely existed as a way to set him up for his romance with Kate.  He now has even more of a reason to be down with love, as opposed to solely relying on a kind of flimsy tragic backstory.  Additionally, his overprotectiveness of Daphne added tension to the story and made him a source of comedic relief for me?  I loved it.  Give me disaster Anthony all day; can’t wait until he falls to the enemies to lovers trope just like Simon fell to his FLAW-FREE fake dating plan.

A lot of the changes I found were really good.  Obviously, it was important that the show incorporated greater diversity (though they need way more).  Benedict was INFINITELY more fun and interesting than he was in the novels, and acted as another standout for me.  As much as I hate Portia Featherington, I think that the elevation of her to a proper villainess is probably necessary and Polly Walker excels at those types of roles, though they need to maybe have her be less like, actively racist.  I adored the addition of Queen Charlotte; she was excellent comic relief.  Lady Danbury’s expanded role and relationship to Simon was one of the best moves they made.  It touched my entire soul.

Buuuut....

The Bad

The show needs to work on casting more men that are frankly on Rege-Jean’s level.  It feels a bit awkward to see a guy that is by most people’s standards kind of stunning and then.... Colin looks twelve.  Lord Philip is like... a farm guy.  Get rid of the sideburns, we’re in romance novel territory.

In the same note, the girl who played Siena wasn’t a great actress and wasn’t super stunning, so even though I’m fine with her being a placeholder....  Eh.  Go for better casting.  The woman playing Madame Delacroix would’ve played that role so much better and I really enjoyed her dynamic with Benedict because she was just fun.

Frankly, I don’t know what the fuck they’re going to do to make me want to watch Penelope and Colin fall in love.  Their book was already a bit basic--fun, but far from revolutionary.  I don’t really get why they would receive attention similar to that of Kate and Anthony, basically.  The issue is that Colin, again, looks and sound rather young and twerpy.  It obviously wasn’t great for him to be tricked into raising another man’s child, but.... For fuck’s sake, how much would that have affected his life on a practical level.  He’d never know unless he was told, thanks to the lack of DNA tests.  He was marrying far out of his league in terms of attractiveness.  He’s a rich white guy in England with a supportive family.  

I really disliked the fact that Colin told Marina in his huffy little tantrum that he would have married her anyway--because would you have, buddy?  Really?  The thing is that Marina had no way of knowing that and her entire life (and the reputations of her cousins) was on the line.  She didn’t know if she could trust Colin to keep her secret.  They barely knew each other.  He basically came off as a whiny child and I’m fine with him staying in Greece if that’s the plan.

Penelope was just... psychotic.  And that was really disappointing, because I love Nicola and would love to have loved to see the fat girl get her sexy love story.  But first off, lol, it wouldn’t have been sexy because Colin was miscast.  Second, she basically tried to destroy Marina’s life and that of her sisters?  And herself?  Because Colin?  Because Colin, a guy who hasn’t even shown any amount of attraction to her at this point?  Her tears, her whining, it was all too much.  Penelope was dealing with a crush and Marina was dealing with the real Grown Woman issues of a child out of wedlock and as it turned out a dead lover and they were not on equal footing.

I mean, Penelope could very well make a great villainess at this point, and if done well I’d embrace it.  But I do not know how the fuck they can make me interested in her love story.  And the idea of her basically being launched into villainy because she was this chubby white girl obsessively jealous of a beautiful black woman...... not a great look.

The show definitely needs to explore diversity in terms of sexuality too--I don’t think it’s correct to read Benedict as straight because he still seems to be open to exploring.  Once he has more screentime, I think he could totally end up being bisexual, and it’s possible that the writers were trying to feel the audience out in terms of their receptiveness to taking a straight character who has a big straight love story in the books and making him LGBT+.  Eloise could also easily be a lesbian, and I’d be thrilled to see that happen.  They need to do something to expand the world, and if there are 8 Bridgerton kids, all of them being straight as an arrow seems SO unlikely.

The Ugly

Obviously, the rape scene was bad and should have been written out.  Simon could have gotten caught up in the moment and blown up at Daphne after he accidentally didn’t pull out in time.  Men.... accidentally don’t pull out in time... a lot.  That’s how babies happen.  It would’ve been believable, and due to our sympathies being with Simon largely, I don’t think he would have become irredeemable if he was more at fault than Daphne.  

As it was, I will say that the scene was somewhat better than it played in the books because Simon was conscious and totally sober, and it was a bit?  Confusing?  That he didn’t just roll Daphne over and pull out?  Because she wasn’t really clearly trying as hard as she was in the book to wrap her legs around him and hold him tight.  But it remained a rape scene.  The show also did a better job, I think, of establishing how fucked up it was that Simon took advantage of Daphne’s lack of knowledge.  Whatever he said about thinking she knew what was up--he knew she didn’t even know about masturbation.  He had to know she wouldn’t understand what pulling out meant.  He did very clearly mislead her to think that he was sterile and therefore denied Daphne her ability to give informed consent.  Did that justify what Daphne did?  Nope.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  But both of them did a fucked up thing and I think that we honestly could’ve stopped at Simon’s misleading.

The issue too is that this leads into a bigger problem the show had.  It wanted to include diversity (yay!) but did not consider the total implications of what was happening (not yay).  Daphne and Simon’s dynamic is inevitably influenced by the fact that she’s a white woman and he’s a black man, regardless of whatever handwaves happened.  This influences the sexual assault and makes it even more messy.

Speaking of mess, I’m not sure what exactly would have fixed the “we don’t want this to be a colorblind casting” issue... but the explanation they came up with wasn’t good.  Never mind that this makes everything SUPER confusing (racism is over like..... maybe 50 years MAX after Queen Charlotte’s marriage if we assume she was a teen when she married and is in her 60s now?) but Lady Danbury’s dialogue explaining this was HORRENDOUS.  “One of them fell in love with one of us”.  The implications are awful.  I don’t know if perhaps setting back the integration of society centuries earlier would have helped?  But this wasn’t it.

Additionally, the writers and casting directors didn’t seem to get that diversity is all well and good, but what about the fact that almost every black character has a light skin tone?  Why are there so few black female characters?  Why is Marina, the most prominent woc on the show, given the “pregnant and desperately trying to trick a man into marrying her until her jealous white cousin fucks her life up and she is humiliated into settling for a loveless match” plot?  I desperately hope we see her next season, falling in love with Sir Phillip or perhaps having experienced a plot twist that gives her someone else...  And she better not die. Eloise can find someone else if Marina really ends up with Sir Philip.

Ultimately, again, I really loved the show.  But it needs to work on some things.  I think that a lot of its issues can be addressed and fixed in a future season, and I HOPE they do that.

[scottspizzatours]

Who Is the Winking Chef?

Back in 2013, I wrote a book called Viva La Pizza! The Art of the Pizza Box. Wired Magazine referred to it as “…an intensely researched love song to [pizza boxes]” and the New York Times called it "…delightful and informative." OK, enough plugging.... on to the important stuff. Even though most of the book is filled with captioned pictures of some of the world’s most interesting pizza boxes, I sprinkled bits of info that dig deeper into the world of printed cardboard. I touched on structural engineering and visual design -- two subjects I personally know very little about but am deeply interested in because of their connection to my beloved pizza box. 

One of my goals was to uncover the origin of the ubiquitous Winking Chef. We’ve all seen him -- the chubby mustachioed man wearing a chef’s hat and often making a gesture of approval with his hand. I dug around as much as I could -- searching old magazines and websites looking for the origin of the image. Of course generic chef images go way back in print advertising but I was looking for one image in particular, the one I grew up with on my pizza boxes in New Jersey. Who was this guy? Was the image based on a real person? What’s the deal????

I know what you’re thinking. This chef isn’t even winking! WHAT GIVES? The image above is apparently a modification of a pre-existing chef face that’s been bouncing around the clip art world for over half a century. The box from Sam’s (above) seems to have to major modifications from the one from Sal’s (below). Sam’s chef has a right eye (Sal’s is winking) and it also has sideburns (Sal’s does not). Printers clean up their art all the time when they have to make fresh printing plates so it’s not a big deal for modifications like these to pop up from time to time.  

But there’s still the question about the identity of the face on the box and the artist who drew it. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but a major clue eluded me during my search when I wrote Viva La Pizza. 

On a pizza tour last month, we stopped by J&V Pizzeria in Bensonhurst for their cheesy and pillowy Sicilian pizza. The staff there know I collect pizza boxes and were excited to show me a new one that just came in. Slice shops like J&V use paperboard boxes printed with stock graphics rather than custom images, so they never no what art is coming in next. I took one look at the “new box” and yawned because it’s one of the most common images I’ve seen. Just another chef. I was sure I’d seen it a million times and already added it to the collection. 

We were riding back to Manhattan at the end of the tour when I noticed a name in the lower right hand corner of the box. It was a signature. Whoa. I usually notice artist signatures on pizza boxes because they’re super rare but for some reason this one had eluded me. Maybe it wasn’t on other versions I had seen. Maybe I hadn’t even seen this box before. My mind started to reel. Was this the clue I had been looking for? 

Someone on the tour looked up Gill Fox and found that he was a famous comic artist and two-time Pulitzer prize nominee! According to Gil Fox’s obituary, “Examples of his line drawing and advertising illustration include the chef, winking and making an OK sign, who was nearly ubiquitous on pizza boxes in the 1980s.” WHOA!!! HOW DID I MISS THIS???? So we know that this man Gill Fox drew this particular chef, and that he was an illustrator around the time pizza was becoming big in America, but major questions remain. The obituary describes Mr. Fox’s chef image “winking and making the OK sign,” but the J&V box doesn’t exhibit either trait. Was this image modified from an earlier version? Are there other Gill Fox chefs floating around? 

I did a bit more digging and found an amazing interview with Mr. Fox by another comic artist named Jim Amash. I contacted Jim and he had some great insight into the chef image. I’ll quote directly from our correspondence:

“Gill drew that for a clip art service in the early 1950s. As a gag, he drew it in the style of his friend and comics/ad artist Creig Flessel, who worked for Johnstone & Cushing, where Gill worked, too. All of Creig's friends were in on the gag, and razzed Flessel about moonlighting from J&C. Flessel denied he drew it, but the fellas all said they knew his style, and that they knew he did it. Finally, Gill confessed to the drawing it to Flessel, who realized all the guys were just having fun with him about it. Unfortunately, Gill didn't tell me the name of the company he drew it for... or if he did, I don't remember the name. I really don't think he told me. 

As for the basis of the face, Gill did use photographs in ad art as did most everybody, but I strongly suspect that he came up with this face from his own imagination. The pose and gesture is too cartooned to have come from a model, and by that time, Gill had been a working artist since the mid-1930s, so he likely invented the face.”

Pretty awesome! There’s still more of the story to be told, but this is some good headway. I’m still looking for the chef from the Sam’s box, but that one’s a bit more elusive. I will report back with new info as I get it. 

And as for the gesture the chef often makes with his hand, I found a cool reference to it from the second century AD Golden Ass, by Apuleius:

Multi denique civium et advenae copiosi, quos eximii spectaculi rumor studiosa celebritate congregabat, inaccessae formositatis admiratione stupidi et admoventes oribus suis dexteram primore digito in erectum pollicem residente ut ipsam prorsus deam Venerem religiosis <venerabantur> adorationibus. (Golden Ass, 4.28)

“Many of the citizens and plenty of visitors whom the rumor of an outstanding spectacle had gathered with crowded curiosity, would be stupefied in admiration of her unapproachable beauty. Moving a right hand to their mouths with the forefinger resting on an outstretched thumb, they revered her as though she were Venus herself in religious adoration.”

So when you see that gesture on a pizza box, or in real life, it’s a sign of approval that compares the pizza to a beautiful Goddess. I’m cool with that! Big thanks to Uncomely Broken for posting that juicy insight!