#ador3dreams

[ador3rin]

༘⋆ here are all the important/relevant tags used on my blog! please refer to this if you are looking for anything specific on my page

lov3letters : asks

d3liveries : submissions

anonym3ws : anonymous tag

d3arest.user : specific user tag

b3loved.user : mutuals tag

ador3rin : all my work

ador3dreams : drabbles & short works

ador3hearts : fav fics & recs

mewbabbles : random fandom reblogs

angebabbles : random talks & rants

♡seriesname : specific series tag

♡seriesname.more : specific series related content

ador3show/fandom : specific series content

ador3navi : important pages (m.list, etc)

[ador3rin]

2:46am | what once was

pairing : kenma kozume x f!reader

tags : angst, hurt no comfort, empty relationship, post break-up

wc : 1281 words

you were never a big fan of games really, well, you were never a big fan of multiplayer games, to be precise. you were perfectly content with spending your free time roaming around the cozy landscapes of stardew valley or animal crossing, both which supplied you with plentiful in game friends. that was until you met kenma kozume. all of a sudden you found yourself booting up first person shooters and spending late nights attempting to improve your horrendous aim, with kenma in your ear trying (and failing) to help guide you through the tumultuous learning process. 

the late night gaming sessions with discord as your mediator soon turned into shy lunches together in the food court besides your university, which then led to hours spent besides each other in internet cafés, and before you knew it kenma began to monopolize both your spare time and your heart. then there was the one night spent in your apartment, where the line between friendship and something more had been blurred past recognition and the both of you shared a clumsy first kiss to the soundtrack of howl’s moving castle in the background. 

you can still recall talking him into starting his twitch streaming, playful boasts about how you could “impress the masses” with your gameplay and help his channel blow up, and blow up it did! kenma captivated the audience with his calm personality and intricate gameplay techniques, even sometimes letting his fans catch a glimpse of his softer side when he’d have you on as an occasional guest. of course tetsuro constantly begged to be featured, but he was always shut down immediately much to his dismay. something along the lines of how his ‘uncouth’ behaviour would get kenma in trouble, is what he’d get told. your heart swelled with pride, watching your beloved boyfriend do what he loves and succeed? there was nothing else in the world you could have asked for. 

so when did things start going wrong?

there was no major concerning issue within your relationship with kenma, but rather an accumulation of small things that continued to pile on until you were both suffocated under its force. he’d stopped saying ‘i love you’ as often, claiming that you knew so why did he have to tell you? your appearances on his streams became more and more spaced apart, until you just stopped appearing altogether. he barely had time for you in his schedule despite you rearranging anything and everything you could for a chance to see him whenever he’s free, and if you were able to make plans he started making a habit of blowing them off. on the rare occasion whenever you managed to get together, the littlest things seemed to strike a nerve and sour his mood, cutting the night short. you aren’t sure when, but at some point you were constantly walking on eggshells when it came to kenma. 

it’s fine, he’s just stressed, he’s tired, he has too much on his plate, i’m being too clingy, were the excuses you began to repeat to yourself over and over again like a mantra, desperately clinging onto what was left of your first love. at some point they stopped working. you stopped fighting. what hurt the most though, was it were as if he didn’t even notice the shift in your behaviour. maybe you weren’t as important as you thought. what remained of the relationship crumbled on one particularly chilly night, but you had the heat from the tears streaming down your cheeks to keep you warm. he left your apartment without glancing back. 

warmth encompassed your body from head to toe, a subtle hint of sandalwood invading your senses as you slowly arose from your slumber. your drowsy vision was met with golden feline-esque eyes pooling with adoration, “morning sleepy head.” kenma’s voice called out for you, a faint whisper as soft as the breeze that swept in through the window that was left ajar. the ghost of a gentle kiss brushed against your forehead, luring you back to the land of the conscious. “ken?” you murmured brows furrowed, an uncomfortable pit beginning to form in your stomach. with fluttering eyes you struggle to focus your sights onto the imperceptible silhouette beside you. 

“wait, why are you here?” your lips echoed the thoughts swirling in your foggy mind, unable to logically grasp at your current situation. he shouldn’t be here. “kenma?” you called out once more with intent, a cold chill shooting through your form as you abruptly sit upright rubbing your eyes with desperation. the previous warmth had all but vanished, and the lingering scent of sandalwood still playfully wafting around you as if to mock as you sat in your bed, alone. 

everything was a reminder of him–or rather, the lack of him. you were haunted by the memories of what once was, and even though it was cruel, you couldn’t help but hope he was tortured too. the stack of games you’d purchased throughout the course of your relationship now sat abandoned, collecting dust in some corner of your living room as you couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy them anymore without the one who’d introduced you to them. 

you no longer ate near campus, opting to reclude to your apartment with this week’s bag of cup noodles and other various microwavable meals. perched on the floor with your laptop set up on the coffee table you aimlessly scrolled through netflix for something to fill the silence surrounding you. it has been almost two months since you broke things off but he still frequented you mind, as you often found yourself wondering about little things, has he dropped out of that one class he hated?, has he reached his subscriber goal yet?, is he doing okay or is he just as much of a mess as you are, or, has he found someone new? you shudder at the thought and your heart pangs.

switching tabs as you fall victim to the curiosity, your search bar autofills and you’re met with kenma’s familiar streaming profile, looking the same as it always had since the day you helped him finalise the colours and overall aesthetic. a selfish part of you was glad that he left things relatively unchanged, for it served as proof of your previous presence in his life. there’s a red blinking button besides his username, signifying that he is currently live and you stare at it for a split second before clicking without a second thought. you make eye contact with your reflection on the black screen as you await with bated breath, once the screen loads you’re met with his face. 

this isn’t the first time you’ve let yourself peruse through his socials, but it is the first time you’ve been able to catch him live, able to glimpse at him in real time from the safety of behind your screen. he looks good. he’s smiling, ever so slightly, eyes cast down presumably at his phone. there’s a hint of tenderness in his expression that you’re sure only you can pick up on, as you were once the sole recipient of such soft looks, despite the fact that you were unable to recall the last time he had looked at you so intimately. suddenly your appetite escapes you as he addresses the audience, his golden eyes boring into yours as he announces that there will be a special surprise guest on next week’s stream. you foolishly hope with all your being that he had finally given in to tetsuro, as you shut off your laptop avoid finding out. you immediately regret snooping, as your miserable mind begins to run wild.

# mew’s comments :

omg? me? posting on tumblr? insanity.

this is a really old draft, i'm trying to get around to finishing my old work so i apologise if im a little rusty :')

but yay! hi! i'm kind of back, i've missed it here!

[ador3rin]

9:15pm | fatigued

pairing : suna rintarō x gn!reader

tags : soft!suna, fluff, self indulgent

wc : 725 words of self indulgency LOL <3

your eyes lazily trail over the screen of your laptop, the words failing to connect with your brain through the tired film thats glossed over your eyes. blinking once, twice, then three times, you slump forward closer to the digital article you were so desperately trying to comprehend as if physically shortening the distance would make a change. letting out a groan of defeat as your hand makes its way to rub at your worn out eyes, you try to will yourself back into the same state of productivity that had died off hours ago. as you removed your now silenced earbuds, a pair of firm yet gentle hands makes their way onto your tense shoulders alongside a familiar voice.

“tired?” he muses rhetorically, the answer already presenting itself in the form of your almost offensive posture. building up a soothing rhythm with his hands as he untangles the knots that have formed in your upper body, the corner of his lips quirk up into a small smile at the sight of your momentarily blissed out state.

“i’m afraid i can’t answer that honestly rin, because that would mean i have to acknowledge it, and acknowledging it will make it worse.” you mumble with closed eyes, leaning back into his comforting touch instinctively as you allow yourself to find solace in the impromptu massage. he lets out a chuckle at your response, and you feel his hands leave your shoulders. before you can let out a noise of complaint, his gentle touch rediscovers itself on both of your cheeks, cupping your face with as much gentleness as he can muster, leaning down to meet your eyes.

“you need to rest, pretty baby.” rintarō states matter of factly, his voice coming out almost as soft as his hold on your face. the tenderness pooling in his gaze towards you alone has you nearly giving in immediately, but a quick glance towards the unread article sitting on your screen jolts you out of your suna rintarō induced trance like state.

“can’t, rinnie.” you whine, lower lip jutting out as you protest, not having the heart to pull away from his hands however. suna’s eyes flicker over towards your glaringly bright screen, an oncoming frown disrupting his pretty features. he turns himself towards your laptop, confronting the current perpetrator behind your fatigue and with a puzzled expression you watch his eyes hastily dart from left to right. “rin? what are you?-”

“i’ve read it.” your boyfriend declares with a grin, telltale glint of mischief in his fox-like eyes revealing that he was up to no good. “i’ve read it,” he repeats, “so now you don’t have to and, you can come lay with me in bed.” you seriously can’t tell if he’s trying to joke around or not, and continue to stare up at him dumbfoundedly. your mind was too tired to even attempt putting up with rintarō’s antics at the moment, and with every minute of you not focusing on finishing your readings for the week ticking by, your exhaustion appears to multiply tenfold.

the lack of response from you has suna rolling his eyes, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours maintaining unbroken eye contact. the sudden proximity catches you off guard, a small laugh spills from your lips as you stare back at him. “what are you doing?” you ask amidst quiet giggles, finding your usually indifferent lover’s sudden urgency to dote on you both amusing and touching.

“sh.” he attempts to silence your laughter, with his own breathy chuckles escaping, “i’m transferring the information to you now.” you two remain like this for another minute, content to remain in each other’s presence. both of your faces are painted with amused expressions before he suddenly closes your laptop and scoops you up out of your seat faster than your currently slow processing mind can register.

“now, since i did you a favour, you have to return it by doing whatever i say.” rintarō beams at the absence of your protesting, exploiting your lack of ability to resist him for long. as he places a loving peck on the top of your head and carries you off to cuddle in the bedroom, you further solidify the thought in your mind that you’d rather watch hell freeze over than to ever lose suna rintarō.

# mew's comments :

HELP LMFAO this is the result of me very much hating having to do my philosophy readings </3

also, suna didn't actually read anything let's be real here