#adivine2kcelebration

[astrohnova]

Cuando el Abismo Te Devuelve la Mirada🌌⚡

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

This is my entry for @my-divine-death motel 666 challenge

ROOM: the delusional (stalker, kidnapper, murderer).

ROOM NUMBERS: #222 (a polyamorous relationship)

ROOMMATES: steve rogers + natasha romanoff (cap’s quartet)

I’m new at writting so if I should add more tags let me know. Also, english is not my first language so it might be a little weirdly worded so just let me know and i'll change whatever's wrong. I’m sorry

If you reblog and leave me some feedback I'll kiss your mouth. With tongue.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 steve rogers x latina!fem!reader x natasha romanoff

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 5k

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 You are part of an underground group of heroes of New York City under the codename Cheetah. When this group catches the attention of the Avengers, you are demanded to join them in their building. Your sweet little self also steals the attention of two special someones.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 +18 ONLY. IF YOU’RE A MINOR, i’ll kick your ass and also block u. this is kinda dark!avenger AU, mentions of family abuse, torture, electro-shock use, starvaiton, mutants, DUB-CON/ NON-CON, age gap (reader is of age), smut (threesome, f/m/f, coercing, kissing, daddy kink, anal, cum play, forced, choking, dildo use, creampie), drug use (to dope reader), stalking, meltdown. WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T READ. THAT'S IT.

You can’t stay with your eyes open for more than five minutes. You’re barely holding your head on your knuckles, your elbow on the table and the professor a few steps away from you. You’re falling asleep in this lecture. Again. Which is not your fault really, this dude is really boring. And his voice just kinda lures you to sleep. It’s the stunner bell that wakes you in a second, bewildered. Looking around to see if somebody noticed, to then pretend that nothing happened while picking up your stuff from the desk.

With that last class covered, you’re ready to go home. For a few minutes at least, until you go out again. But not like you. Like Cheetah.

Cheetah was a codename, in this superhero business you can’t really use your real identity. Not in the underground business anyway, and especially not if you have powers. The illegal activities are part of it, but when people in your everyday life know that you’re that disgusting mutant… things get rough. Families break. Torture and pain blossom. You’ve seen it happen.

Home is the apartment that you share with your team, your fellow mutants. Most of them have been through so much, most of us don’t have any family except this team. And after all the heartbreak and the rejection, after all the pain and the hate, the family we learn to build is the warmest hug, the safest refuge, the tastiest meals. The best place to always come back to.

When you reached your house, Jay was cooking dinner, while Danny and Nova played video games. You kissed Jay in the cheek after greeting the other two, and closed the door to privately talk.

“I have bad news���” You started, toeing the line between sad and angry. Jay acknowledged you and pushed you to continue. “Somebody knows about us. I’ve been sensing some movements on the net.”

“About us?” The worry showed all over his face and spread through his voice.

“About Danny first. But we’re not so safe either…” Jay sighed, and you just lowered your eyes. Danny was the only anchor we had on the net. He still had some attachment with his family. The boy had a golden heart and a forgiving mind, which led him to get hurt over and over again. That’s why, when all of us had sent our families flying out the window the moment we discovered the true meaning of family, between us mutants, he hadn’t. We cut all ties, using Jay’s powers of mind manipulation to make our families forget us. And your powers to erase your technological tracks, your digital existence. Even make your families forget the huge sons of bitches that they are and all the abuse that they got their own kids through. After all the torture you had to endure because of them, you would of liked to see them suffer a little bit. But safety comes before vengeance. Especially when you had people to look after. Even though the last time you saw them they sent you to a mental hospital, leaving you weak from all the electro-shock, the starvation, Nova having to blast part of the building to get you out, alongside Danny and Jay. You were willing to sacrifice your life for them.

But Danny had another connection to his family, they loved him… Not so much his condition, much less that he doesn’t see it like a disease, that he doesn’t believe he had to be cured. But he’s the only one who still holds a connection to his family, still attached to the net for them. Dangerous, but it worked fine, with the fake names and the elaborate barriers that you managed to put up. Until now.

Your eyeballs start getting covered by a white cloud, your pupils and iris disappearing behind it, so Jay approaches you and grabs your arms, concerned and caring. Your head diving into the waves of the network ocean, swimming into piles of data. A dreamlike experience that allows you in just seconds to cross through gigabytes of information. And allows you to find out that you’re doomed. “We’re not safe anymore”. You shiver when you come out of it, and with one final shared concerned look, you both get out into the living room to look for your family.

When you get there, Danny and Nova are still playing video games, and while everything seems normal, there’s this tingling under your skin and you feel a spider-like bite in the crook of your neck. Buzzing, uncomfortable.

“Gimme your phones.” No questions asked, they all give you their cellphones. They stop playing and wait for your directions. And you break the cellphones. The tingling goes down a little bit, but you can feel the unsteady eyes of the net piercing your skin. Someone’s watching you. Spying your family. You turn the TV off, and because you still feel the eyes you grab the device and drop it to the floor, harshly disconnecting it and breaking the screen. Dismantling the back part to cut key cables that connect to the net. And the buzzing stopped.

“So… you gonna pay for a new TV right?”

🌌⚡

After you explained to the family the breach on Danny’s info and that someone was watching you through every device in the house that interacted with the net, explaining the severity of the stalking, your family was highly strung. The last time you didn’t follow your powers you had to watch everything you all had built blow out into pieces. And it had taken a long time to come back from that one. You weren’t gonna let that happen again. And neither were they.

So it was settled: you were starting over. It was too dangerous to stay, despite what you all had here. You started packing your bags, booking flights through the net to get the hell out of here. Putting firewalls and barriers so that finding you will be labyrinthic. Erasing the fake information you gave your university, as well as Jay’s, Nova’s and Danny’s info from their jobs, their gameplay accounts, the discord ones… Everything gone, which brought a huge stress on your body.

“Jay I’m… Not feeling well” You said approaching Jay, by the end your knees giving in and collapsing onto Jay. Nova quickly helped to hold you, hugging you tightly and directing you to the couch so you can rest.

Everybody was giving it their all. Bur Danny…

“You’re not feeling so good, Cheetah. Maybe... maybe we should wait it out a little bit. It’ll be good! We need to get some air first, think this through…” He babbled, so nervous and energetic.

“Stop Danny…” You muttered, so exhausted… You just wanna sleep for a little.

“I’m serious! Let 's stay!” When his hair starts turning red and his hand gets tenser, with nails growing… You know his emotions are getting a hold of him. That's never good, but for a mutant is way worse.

“Are you dumb? Don’t you understand how dangerous that would be?” Nova barked at him.

“Remember the last time we listened to you and not her?” Jay hissed. “We’re not doing that shit again.” Danny’s breathing was fast and heavy, he wasn’t convinced at all.

“And get a hold of your fucking self.” Nova grunted, still holding you in her arms. She had lived the exhaustiveness of using your powers. Meanwhile Danny got back to his true form without so much as a blink.

Jay brought you a glass with water, and you stretched your arm to Danny, to have him close. ”Danny. Please, listen to us. Listen to me. Please believe me, I need you to get on board with this. Te necesito. We won’t leave you behind and we won’t go ahead without you. We stick together, somos familia” You pleaded to him. And that got him more on board. Part of himself remembering last time.

🌌⚡

There’s something going on. Your fucking nerves shuddering, feeling eyes watching every step you take. Something 's wrong. You look quiet on the outside, peaceful, bored. But on the inside you’re about to collapse. You arrived at the airport, with the fake passports and the tickets you managed to get. The team decided to split, boarding on their own. You can’t even see them, feeling only Jay in your head trying to calm you down. You were already trying to do that yourself, knowing that airports have camaras fucking everywhere, so of course they were going to be watching you. And everyone’s using their cell phones, computers, tablets. Yeah, eyes were everywhere. Maybe you’re way up in your head. You stopped the stalking, you discovered it on time… right? Yes. So there’s nothing to worry about. If you look up this book that you’re pretending to read you can see Jay. Looking out the window to the planes in the field, but with his mind on you. And if you pretended to stretch, and twisted your head back you can see Nova talking to a lonely old lady. Everythings normal. Danny is probably in the bathroom, or buying something. He’ll be back soon.

“Hey, what are you reading?” Asked the man beside you, short brown hair. Handsome, with a jean jacket and gloves, looking really bored.

“I… Not reading actually, can’t focus” You sighed, closing the book and getting more comfortable in your seat, still looking at him.

“Fear of flying?”

“Something like that...”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about nothing. These things now are really developed, they were dangerous back in the day but now? Nah”

“Back in the day? Talking like an old sir when you’re not older than me” You noted, tilting your head to the side curiously. He chuckled, a little bit nervous.

“It’s just a saying” He sputtered, and you hummed in agreement, finishing the conversation. When you look back frontwards. And Jay wasn’t there. You frowned, starting to get concerned again but trying not to express it.

“You’re looking for your friend?” Wondered the guy next to you. And you didn’t even flinch.

You turned to him confused, and voiced “What? I didn’t come with any friends. You’re as far from a friend as I encountered here.” You appealed, to get him to buy your lie so you can get the hell away from here.

“Really? So You don’t know any Jay?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I have to go to the bathroom, so excuse me” You were about to combust. Who the hell is this dude? And just how in the fuck does he know? You… You didn’t have any trace left behind. Everything was perfect. Just how...?

“No, we’re not going to the bathroom. Where 's Nova?” Fucking nowhere. You don’t find her when you look back.

“How do you know about Nova? Who the fuck are you?”

“Calm down. S’ not good to get stressed due to your… condition” You weren’t stressed out. You were fucking angry, you wanted your family and this hijo de puta wasn’t gonna take them from you. But you can feel an electric fire coercing through your body, and your jaw started to hurt from how hard you were biting.

“They are fine. If you come with me you’ll see”

“I’m not going with the same dickass that took them.” You roared, grabbing his arm and sending an electric current through your touch.

He groaned and pleaded again “Calm down, Cheetah. Look around”. The screen noticing the flight schedules was flickering, and you could see the receptionist struggling with her computer. But you were fucking out of it.

“I… I can’t. Not ‘til I see them” Your eyes started getting cloudy, your mind submitting to the net. Getting more weight in the man’s arms, weakening.

“Then… I’m sorry” You felt the prick before you saw the needle in his hand. Fuck.

🌌⚡

“I saw her first, I was the one who helped Stark find her.”

“Nat, it was your fault that she left last time.”

“Fuck off.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

They were staring at you sleeping. You were so calm, after your meltdown in the airport earlier that day. Your friends were waiting for you, Nova grabbing your hand, Jay in Danny’s embrace. They didn’t think you would be so close to them again, but you are. And Nat and Steve couldn’t be happier.

“So beautiful. So peaceful. Can’t wait to have her” Nat bites her nail softly, rubbing her thighs together.

“I’m gonna have her first Nat” Steve grabs Nat’s face, turning it to her, skeezing her cheeks. “And only if you behave you’ll have your turn.” Nat whimpers at that strong tone, struggling to nod while looking at Steve completely surrendered, dumbed down. “Good girl.” With a peck on the lips, Steve lets her go.

“We can’t lose her again”

🌌⚡️

“And why do they call you Cheetah? Fancy animal print?” Tony’s annoying and not at all funny’s ass is in your room the moment you wake up.

“Nice one” You snickered. “If you piss me off, maybe you’ll find out”

“Oh I think I already did… You were the one who discovered me right? Not even 20 seconds in your grid and you shut me off. That’s amazing, much faster than last time. And you’ve grown, kid.” You just looked at him. Explaining yourself isn’t gonna do anything, he already knows everything about you. You just have to use all his tech against him, find a way out of this awful place. You can’t believe you’re fucking here again.

“You.. Know each other already?” Jay asked. And you just sighed and looked away.

“You’re bickering like family…” Danny chipped in.

“It’s a long story.” You blurted. Between the drugs, using your powers carelessly and knowing what was waiting for you in this place, you were on the verge of tears. And even though you loved your family, this is something you never disclosed to them. Couldn’t ruin the idea of Avengers that they had with the real malice that surrounded the most famous superheroes.

“And when did you learn to cover your tracks like that? ‘Cause you can have the powers, but--”

“That’s enough. She’s still worned out and needs to rest. You already have us here anyway, so you have all the time in the world to ask your stupid questions.” Nova commanded.

“She does need to rest, so you’re leaving. But I’m not”

“It’s fine, guys.” You conceded when they focused their eyes on you, completely worried. You felt Jay in your mind, caring and loving, and you reassured him quietly. You had to talk to Stark eventually. And so they left.

“Mhm… I get that I cause oniric things to people, but if you so desperately wanted me back you could of asked nicely”

“I tried, but you wouldn’t let me, blocking me at every road. You upsetted the captain, and the spy almost killed me.”

“Almost? That’s a shame” You lazely fired, snuggling into the bed and closing your eyes. You were too tired for this bullshit conversation, and so angry that you were in their arms again. The mere thought of what they would do to you…

“Listen. I have some pills for you.”

You opened one eye, and shot a sharp reply. “I won’t take anything you give me.”

“That 's a shame.” Tony said, walking toward you. “‘Cause this building is full of electrical devices. And if you don’t take them, you’re gonna live with one hell of a headache.”

“Oh, so the tortures and investigations you and your idiotic team performed worker for something? I’m glad, at least all that pain wasn’t for nothing”

“The team cares about you, and Banner understands just how much you suffer.” He was so close to you, with those fake ass glossy eyes. They didn’t have feelings, they didn’t care.

“Yeah? Couldn’t tell by all the torture.” Tony drops the hand that was about to caress your cheek and with one final look, he leaves. Leaving you all alone, drifting off to sleep.

🌌⚡

“Thanks for your help, Buck.” Steve said, putting a hand on his shoulder and patting it lightly. He met you at the airport, the only member of the Avenger’s team that you hadn’t known ‘till then, the perfect one to approach you and contain you if needed. And it was needed.

“Well, now I'm feeling a little underappreciated. I found her digital footprint, which led us to her.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Stark.”

“Is she… going to embrace this life with us?” Banner nervously asked, playing with his hands and not lifting his eyes.

“I just want her to be safe, but maybe she shouldn’t be here. If I were to take her to Asgard...” Thor proposed, but nobody agreed with him.

“She is not leaving.” Nat stabbed a knife into the table, pissed. She wasn’t letting you go.

“She will accept her fate. She doesn’t have another choice.”

🌌⚡

Your head was pounding, the electronic spasms swirling through your head. Cuddled up in the hospital bed, grabbing your head with your hands. Stark was right, and you were just about to give in and drink those damn pills. But would it be a mistake to trust them? After so much pain last time… Especially in Stark’s bloodied hands.

You were winning, your mind trying to concentrate on something else when you felt a hand on your leg. And you quickly incorporated on the bed, crawling away from the person that touched you. Only to burn with anger when you realize who it was: Steve Rogers.

“Hello darling.” You were dreading this encounter, but it was doomed to happen. You were in his house.

“Hello, golden fucker.” He laughed with no cheerfulness at all, his eyes darkening.

“I’ll let that slide. I know that you have to get used to being here again. And I also know that you’re in pain.”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Of course, kitten.” He tilted his head, like he didn’t understand just how creepy that shit was. But of course he would be watching you, he wouldn’t let you out of his sight again.

“Why haven’t you taken the pills? They’ll help you.”

“Are you really asking me that?” He signed, uncrossing his arms and putting them on his hips, never taking his eyes off of you and already noting that you would be harder to break than he initially thought. All of them wanted you, why didn’t you want them? They had the entire world to give to you.

You couldn’t hold his staring for much longer, so looking down you swore: “I don’t wanna drink the fruits of my suffering. And I don’t wanna be here with you, fucking crazy pants.”

He approached you fiercely, clenching his jaw and grabbing yours in his hand. “I forgave the first one, but no more. You’ll take the damn pills or I’ll push them down your throat.” You whimpered, trying to turn your head but incapable due to his hard grip. You nodded slowly, staring at him disgusted. But he wouldn’t allow that, and you wished you knew better.

He grabbed your hair, pulling your head back and grunting while you trembled. His face’s watching you closely from above.

“Stop being so difficult. You have nowhere to go, and the faster you submit, the better. Open your mouth.” You did, and he spitted on it. Making you swallow.

He let you go and handed you two pills and a cup with water, closely watching you drink it.

“That wasn't that hard, right? My good girl.” He caressed your face and you give in to his touch, the pills making effect fast but numbing your head, along with the praise sending you to another planet.

“Baby, daddy really needs to empty his balls in you, will you let me?” He asked, sliding his thumb in your mouth, you sucking and nodding eagerly. “Of course you’ll let me, cause you're my little whore, right?” Your eyes went to the back of your head, mewling.

“Take your clothes off and lay down, ass up.” You did just as he demanded, his eyes never leaving you. When you were done he just put his crotch zipper down and freed his cock, still in his stealth suit. He signed before vowing: “After all the trouble you’ve made me go through, I’ll be rough on you. So you’ll learn. You need it, kitten.” He approached you slowly, ready to hunt his prey. Ready to make yo fucking take it.

He spit in your pussy, spreading it with the tip of his cock and pounded into you pushing you forward and making you gasp and moan in pain. He put his hands on your head, pushing you into the mattress violently, as he started moving his hips roughly, in and out of you. Your ass bouncing against his pelvis, your mouth wide open as you started crying out.

“God, I miss this fucking pussy.” One of his hands left your head to slap your ass angrylly. Fucking you like he hated you. He did hate you, you left him, you abandoned him. Left him without this sweet pussy that was gripping him thigh. Leaving him without this incredible ass of yours that always drove him mad.

“I’m never leaving you again, you hear me? You’re fucking mine.” He slipped his thumb in your asshole, and you moaned like a whore, not expecting you. “You really missed this too, mmm, baby? You’re enjoying this more than me. Just wait ‘till I destroy your ass.” You were out of yourself, completely surrendered, gripping the sheets, taking the harsh spanking. The thumb in your ass driving you nuts, opening you up.

And the way he pounded onto you, you could feel him so deep inside you, his dick sliding against you savagely. His grountings, his hair hitting his face, sweating his heart out while you just fucking taked his merciless trusts. Your screams were driving him mad, he wanted to make you suffer. He knew that’s how you enjoyed it, the noises of his hips hitting your ass, the grunts he was letting out.

“Da-- Daddy! It’s to much!”

“Is it? Fucking take it.” With that, he penetrated you harder, if that was even possible. Then grabbed you by the hair to push him against his chest, standing on your knees. Never stopping for one second.

“This is what you deserve, for running away from me. You’re not running anymore. You’re fucking mine.” And the coil in your belly snapped, your legs trembling and your head tilting back in his shoulder, you came screaming, your entire body giving in, collapsing against Steve. You couldn’t even open your eyes, and Steve pushed you back into the bed and came out of you to admire your glistering pussy.

“Look at this mess, baby girl. You’re really loving this, aren’t you? Now I am gonna enjoy myself.” He entered you again, and you screamed with your eyes tightly shut. Your belly spasming from the overstimulation.

“N-no more, please daddy. I-I can’t take it.”

“That’s too bad, ‘cause this isn’t for your pleasure. Today you’re only here to please me, to receive my cum, to have your holes ripped. You’re getting fucked. Hard. And you’re gonna take me while you fucking scream” He put his feet on the mattress to pound you brutally. And you just stayed there, taking it. Your ass burning hot, aching from his spanking. Until he came out of you, whimpering from the emptiness, and then gasping when he turned you around and unceremoniously putting his dick in your mouth for you to drink every last drop of his cum.

“That’s right, there you go, whore.” He said, while you gagged and his dick hitted the back of your throat. Before pulling away, he plowed into you even deeper, even harder. To then pull out and leaving you coughing, putting his cock back into his pants and fixing himself.

“Just wait ‘till Nat has you babygirl, together we’re gonna break you.” And with that, he leaves.

🌌⚡

“Hi, little girl. Heard Stevie tired you out.” You moaned and stirred awake, in another bed, in another bedroom. With Natasha Romanoff by your side, caressing your hair. You looked at her mesmerized, with an underlying fear of her anger. If Steve received you like that then… What about your loving assassin?

“Hi mommy… He did. Left my pussy aching.” She put her hand around your neck, squeezing and making you more awake.

“Well deserved, for being a dumb little girl that though she could fend for herself. You had to learn.” You nodded.

“And now baby, mommy’s gonna make you pay too. Gonna fuck you to an inch of your life, and Stevie here is gonna help me.”

“We wanted to be good, loving partners. But you wouldn’t let us.” Steve said, standing up from a chair in the corner. “So we have to teach you several lessons, you have to learn to want us. To love us.”

“If you don’t play along, become our little kitten, serve us, then your family’s gonna suffer. And even if you say no and they suffer, you’ll still be used. Just like you deserve, kitten.” You nodded, and Natasha just laughed sitting in your face, her ass in your face, already naked.

“That wasn’t a question, whore. So suck.” You eagerly start invading her folds, exploring her entrance and then latching onto her clit. “That’s it baby, you remember how it’s done.”

Steve pushed his aching cock into you, fucking you while kissing Natasha in a nasty kiss that left their chins globbeering from spit, groaping her tits, her ass boucing in your face. Your body under them both, your breathing being cut by Natasha’s ass checks. The struggle to breath driving you closer to the hill, while Steve’s huge dick stretch you out, your belly trembling, you were getting so close, you started sucking Natasha faster, hearing her moaning and rubbing against your face, one of her hands going onto your tits and pulling your nipples. When you put your thumb on Natasha’s ass and your tongue inside her, she came, and you along with her. And just then Steve pulled out of you and impaled your asshole fast, making you scream and grip Natasha’s ass hard, with your nails burying on her ass. Tears were starting to form on your eyes from Steve’s huge cock in your pure ass.

“What is it baby? You were enjoying Steve in your pussy but the moment he fucks your ass you suddenly don’t like it? Fuck her harder, Stevie.” Her words and Steve starting to do exactly what she said, plus the overstimulation of your last orgasm made you cum again, while Natasha started humping your tits. Your delirious screams, Natasha’s moans and Steve’s groanings fill the room. He filled your ass and kept fucking you. Natasha got down off you to search for something in the closet, meanwhile Steve got down to whisper in your ear, admiring your fucked up face.

“Fuck baby, you’re my little cumslut right? Just out of it. Filled with my cum. But your mouth is empty baby, just like your head. But don’t worry, Nat can fill your mouth. And your little mind can just think of us.” His words and his hand starting to choke you made you cum again. Your body was made for them, for you to be used and filled. Steve sat back on his knees, pulling out of you, leaving your pussy shivering and manhandling you on your fours, with Natasha sitting in front of you with a huge dildo strap-on for you to choke on.

You grabbed the base and shoved it on your mouth, Natasha grabbing your face and spitting on it. Your face was stained with tears, Natasha’s fluids and now her spit too. Until Steve pulled out and filled your face with his cum. You felt empty for a second until his dick entered your cunt, pushing you forward to choke on Natasha’s dildo, grabbing your hands so you can’t help yourself with them to grope her tits.

And then you felt a cold something entering your ass, stretching it open again and making you scream and gag on the plastic dick. Steve was pushing another dildo onto you, filling you completely. And pushing you off your pleasure cliff when it started to vibrate. And you were gone. They were running a train over you to keep you on your knees for the rest of your relationship.

“That 's it, kitten. Making us so happy.” You were drifting away, closing your eyes and moving due to the force of their thrusts. You passed out, but that means nothing to them, they just kept using you.

Sprayed out on your belly in the bed, Steve slides his cock inside of your slobbering, glistering pussy. You’re in and out of consciousness when you feel him starting rocking inside you, pulling your hair. Making you pant and whine like the stupid, greedy little slut you are.

“Go on, little girl. Get lost in the abyss. Pretend you’re not enjoying yourself. Disconnect, find your space. But when the abyss looks back at you, you’ll realize just how much you liked it.”

“And if you don’t realize, don’t worry… Your body already knows.” You’re drooling on the mattress, whimpering and spasming from the pleasure, your legs trembling. You’ve come so many times you feel your mind slowly detaching from your body. You can’t take it anymore, but they are not done with you yet. So you just take it. Not like you can do something else.

When they are finally done they leave you with a dildo in your ass and another one in your pussy, Steve’s cum, Natasha’s fluids all over your body, cut, ass and mouth. And the dildos filling you up, keeping Steve’s cum inside of you.

“And when you’re ready, we’ll share you with the rest of the group. ‘Cause good little girls have to pleasure mommy and daddy’s friends”

[lfnr-blog-blog-blog]

Glory

Image from here.

Summary: You spend your whole life waiting for the color to fill in on your soulmate tattoo, when it does you finally meet the one you are spending the rest of your life with, the only catch you only get to spend so many days with them.

Pairing: soulmate!Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: Major Character death, Angst, Fluff(some). Talk of illness, and disabled/chronically ill reader. Minor could be considered suicidal thoughts.

Timeline: Soooo non canon timelines, and canon divergence. Bucky goes to Wakanda after CA:TWS, No CW or Endgame. Sorry not sorry. Just go with the flow y’all.

A/N: This hits really close to home for me. My chronic illness and I are currently struggling with treatment and we aren't sure what will happen next.

THIS IS AN 18+ blog. MINORS DNI!

Written for @bucksmotel 2k follower Challenge. Congratulations Darling! I am so proud of you!!!

Soulmate AU Idea: -Timer of how much time you spent with your soulmate

soul mate

/��sōl ˌmāt/

noun

noun: soulmate

a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

Looking in your mirror at the dictionary cutout of the definition of soul mate you have had for the last 12 years, then at the time stamp on your left shoulder surrounded by the almost completely filled in outline of blue Glory of the Snow flowers, 572. That's how many days you would get to spend with your soulmate, just over 18 months. Sometimes the person you love dies, sometimes it is you, sometimes the unthinkable happens and you go together. Covering up your shoulder, hoping today is the day that you meet the soulmate you have been dreaming of for years, just like every day for the last 2 months, as the flowers get more color the closer you are to meeting your soulmate. Grabbing your stuff, head down the elevator of your apartment building, you get in your car and back out of the designated spot for you. An early spring snow falling as you make your way to the appointment you have been dreading for months.

Heading out of the office, head in the clouds, you are run into by a tall stranger, dark brown hair covering his eyes as he looks at his phone, suddenly your shoulder is hot and tingly. “Ouch,” you cry out rubbing your shoulder.

“Sorry.” He rubs his arm. Suddenly it hits you. “Doll, I think you might be my soulmate.” He says as he kneels down in front of you, rolling his sleeve to show you blue Glory of the Snow flowers. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this. My name is Bucky.” You shake your head and tears start to flow, you give him your name.

“What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Can I get you a drink?” He asks, putting his hands on the back of the wheelchair you are seated in.

“I would like that Bucky.” You head in the wheelchair down to the hospital cafeteria unsure of what to say to the man who is supposed to be the love of your life. After ordering your drink, and Bucky grabbing a muffin and his americano, you wheel over to a table. “Well Doll, it's been a long time coming so tell me about yourself.” You proceed to tell him about your life leading up to this point, and he tells you about his time as the Winter Soldier, life in the 40’s and how things have gone since Steve found him in D.C, his time in Wakanda and then his soul searching journey in Romania.

“I thought growing up that my flowers would never color in, and then I woke up in D.C and they had a small amount of color in them and I had hope. After my time in Wakanda there was more color and I knew that I was going to find you soon.” Bucky says tracing the scars on your right arm in the same spot as his soulmate tattoo. “I have 572 days to show you just how much I love you, and I intend on using every single one of them to the best of my ability.”

After talking and laughing for hours about both of your favorite books, drinks, foods, funny stories, and music, you are exhausted, leaning your head on your hand on the table, eyes fluttering closed. “I need to get home, Bucky, I am very tired.” Bucky grabs onto your wheelchair and pushes you out to your car in the now empty parking lot, “Tomorrow would you like to watch a movie at my apartment with me after my treatment?” You ask him as you attempt to put your wheelchair in the car. He helps maneuver the chair into the back of your vehicle and walks you to your door, making sure that you are safe and that your car starts. “Sure. Text me a time and an address? And let me know when you get home safe, Wouldn’t want my best girl out in the snow too long.” He says with a warm smile. You give him a quick kiss on the cheek and then he squeezes your hand and shuts the door. You head home to your apartment, figuring out what to feed a super soldier for movie snacks.

Days Left: 500

The summer air feels nice on your skin as you and Bucky make your way through the countryside. Letting your head fall against his chest, sunglasses on, Bucky's arm on your shoulder, old jazz standards streaming through the truck radio. “Bucky, I wish you would tell me where we are going.” You giggle at him as he kisses your forehead. “Not a chance, Doll. It is a surprise, but I know you will love it.” You sneak a few pictures on your phone, adding them to the album for prints to be made, wanting to savor every moment in his presence. You fall asleep while he drives the fatigue finally overtaking your body, strains of Unforgettable (Nat Cole King and Natalie Cole) following you into the dreamland. You wake to Bucky carrying you across a field to a small gazebo with fairy lights and a blanket on the ground. “Almost there princess.” he says as you enter the gazebo, and he sets you down in the nest of pillows. You enjoy a small meal of all your favorites, and listen to music while watching the sun fade across the sky, eventually going down when Bucky kneels next to you pulling a ring out of his pocket. “My love, I have known since the day I met you that I was going to marry you, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?” Tears stream down your face as you nod, “Yes, of course Bucky.” You kiss him, not pulling away until you are gasping for air.

Days left: 393

The swishing of the dress around your legs pulls you out of your thoughts, back to all the sleepless nights talking to Bucky, the countless treatments and doctors appointments, the pictures taken, and the intimate moments shared. Your maid of honor zips the dress up the rest of the way, placing the veil on your head. “You ready? This is the rest of your life we are talking about. He is waiting for you.” You sit back in your wheelchair as people gather around you, putting flowers in your lap, fluffing your dress, putting the finishing touches on you, before you make yourself forever Mrs. Barnes. The Aisle is short, choosing to navigate it yourself, and at the end of it his blue eyes are waiting, tears waiting to be shed. The ceremony is quick, both of you expressing your love and promises to be there for the other through the good and the bad, in sickness and in health, forever and for always, no till death do us part here. That night you spend your time in his arms, him never letting you go, holding you until the sun comes up.

Days left: 300

“Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, I am sorry there is nothing more we can do. We can make you comfortable, but no treatments are going to work.” The doctor says before she leaves, “I will send in the nurse to schedule some appointments for you to get comfort measures taken care of.” You turn to Bucky, crawling into his lap, funny how just 271 days ago, you met him in this very hospital and now there is nothing more that can be done for you. “I am going to stop going on missions, Doll, there isn’t much time left, let's travel the world and just spend time with each other.” Tears stream from your eyes as you nod, not trusting your voice to say anything more than a broken “I love you Bucky Barnes, Today, Tomorrow and 300 days from now.”

Days left: 90

Feeling the sand between your toes as Bucky comes out with the nurse, “Time for your treatment princess.” he says pulling the sunshade over you a little more as the nurse sets up the IV fluids and tube feeds. At least you picked a paradise to spend the short remainder of your life in. He has been so supportive, learning all he can about your illness, learning to take care of you and the medical needs. Loving you and using each day that he has available. At first he attempted to find treatments, experimental, even calling in a favor from Wakanda to see what they could do for you, and after a large argument, ending with you in the ER, he finally decided to give up and spend the time just holding you.

Days left: 1

You wake up and pull yourself from Bucky’s arms, wanting to spend your final day putting together a gift for Bucky once you are gone, letting him sleep in the bed. Gathering all the pictures you have taken over the last 500 plus days, you put them in a book, writing small notes to Bucky, memories and thank you’s. From the pictures you snuck of him in the kitchen, or out on the porch, in the rain both of you kissing. Pictures of your wedding, and pictures of the two of you at the treatment centers. You put the scrapbook where you know he will find it, and roll yourself out to the living room of the hotel room. Choosing to spend your last days in Romania, hoping that he will feel some peace here, after you are gone. Instructions for your funeral have been left with your lawyer and Bucky has nothing to worry about. He finally wakes up, joining you in the living room. “Let’s get breakfast and then I want to go for a drive, Bucky.” He gets ready and you find a small café, enjoying a pastry and the same drink you got on that first day that you met him. In the car you are headed out towards a field that he told you about, listening to Unforgettable again, when suddenly the car swerves, flipping over and over again, Bucky calling out your name, through the smoke, the last thing you hear is “I will always love you Doll.” before your eyes close.

Days left: 0

You wake up gasping, hearing beeping around you. When you open your eyes on your lap sits a scrapbook. You flip it open to the first page, seeing your handwriting.

Bucky,

When you read this your flowers will be black. A sign that I am gone, don’t cover them up, show them with honor, a reminder that I loved you more fiercely than I thought I could. Thank you for making these last 571 days the most amazing that I could ever imagine. Thank you for loving me, thank you for changing my life. You deserved more than 572 days, we deserved a lifetime, years, decades. But you never let that deter you, you never backed away and you never let me not feel loved. I love you, I will never stop loving you. So please move on, find someone to help you, travel the world and love with your whole heart, feel the dirt on your feet, crush snow in your hands, and watch flowers bloom. I love you, please don’t stop loving me.

Love always,

Your Doll

It was supposed to be you, you always thought it would be you, you thought you would leave Bucky, not the other way around. You sob until you pass out, heart breaking all over again.

Days without Bucky: 9

Today is the funeral, you pull yourself out of bed wearing his sweater, you haven’t left the bed since you got back from the hospital, Sam coming over and bugging you to eat, nurses hooking up your treatments despite the fact that you don’t want to live in this world without Bucky.

It's a beautiful service, not that you are paying attention. Your head hurts and you have cried nonstop since you got here. Putting dirt on his casket as they lower it into the ground, one connected head stone, your name and his, your date of birth and both his date of birth and the day you lost him.

Days without Bucky: 31

The dark flowers on your shoulder have lightened a little, the nurse for hospice notices as she rolls you, your vitals becoming unstable. She holds your hand and brushes the tears off your unconscious face. A smile joining your features as your heart falters and stops. Finally joining your lover in death.

——————————————————————————-

I did

Room: the beloved

Room # 666 lovers to widows

Roommate Bucky Barnes

[shieldedreams]

fifth time is a charm (f.a.)

summary ⇾ the four times frank tries to ask you out and the last one it ends with a kiss. (and maybe a little bit more) details ⇾ 6,028 words (+ 420 words cut scene) / frank adler x boxer!reader / 🌸🔥a load of fluff with a hint of spice notes ⇾ this is for @bucksmotel​​​‘s motel 666 writing challenge! [the fighters: boxer!reader (now trainer) + #555: love at first sight + gemini flannegan: frank adler] - frank’s somewhat shy in this one, not the usual demeanor he has from the movie! >:)

[minors dni! suggestive themes and explicit descriptions, a bit steamy, implied smut, unprotected sex (stay safe babes), shower sex (be careful bubs)]

the first time was when frank first laid his eyes on you. it felt like the world was slowing down for him to catch his breath. his line of sight seemingly focused on just you as everything else blurs out. the sweat trickling from your forehead, glistening down to your neck as you maneuver in the ring. strands of baby hair falling between your eyes but never in the way for you to effectively dodge jabs coming your way. frank gapes when you swiftly roll from side to side, easily diverting from the incoming hits; agility fuelling your every move with calculated hooks and crosses–frank adler was hooked.

he remembers to breathe when mary excitedly drags him closer to get a better look. since the day the new boxing gym opened, it has been the talk of the town. unbeknownst to frank, it became a part of his business when mary returned home with a flyer from college and refused to take no for answer to at least swing by and check it out. seems like frank has to eat his words when he would gladly come here every day if it meant seeing you.

frank hadn’t known he was close to the ring until he’s merely an arm-length away, gazing up to you. his jaw agape with no words coming out. mary seems to notice this and gives his hand a shake to–quite literally–shake him out of it but to no avail. the little girl only offers a sheepish smile when you narrow your eyes at the two of them; similar to two pairs of puppy eyes blinking up to you.

“earth-to-frank...” mary nudges him this time with their locked hands, not-so-subtly hitting his thigh to get him to snap back into reality, “are you in there?”

you try to diffuse the awkwardness by smiling at them, waving a hand to your sparring partner before sliding past the ropes and hopping down. that apparently gets frank back to present as he licks his lips, mouth closing and opening a couple of times and still no luck with the words. for someone who possesses the ability to conduct lectures in front of hundreds of students, he’s going absolutely nowhere in front of one... well, just you.

“can i help you with anything today?”

yes, you absolutely can. it’s a few seconds of silence before frank manages to cough up a weak reply, barely scraping by. “hi, i’m frank and–uh... i was... we were–”frank lets out a deep sigh, eyes snapping shut with the frustration taking over his body. something so simple as talking and he can’t even do that right. you bite the inside of your cheek, refusing to give in to a grin at the adorable scene panning out before you. a handsome man along with an adorable little girl? the ultimate package.

he then gives mary a small nudge so she steps forward, “this is my niece, mary. are there classes for kids her age?”

nodding slowly, you direct your gaze to mary who seems like she has fire in her irises yet warmth in her sweet smile. it makes you crack a smile as you crouch to her level, a hand extending out to her, “hello there, mary. i’m y/n. can i ask how old are you?”

“seven,” her smaller hand reaching out to yours and giving your wrapped hand a shake. she admires the way it looks, marvelled as she squeezes your fingers excitedly past the elastic material, “this is so cool,”

“got a strong grip on you, tiger,” you chuckle, letting go of her hand, playfully trying to shake off her iron-like grasp. she’s in awe when your hand reaches up to ruffle her hair. as you stand up, her eyes follow your movements. under frank’s breath, you hear him muttering she sure can be quite the animal and it makes you cough a laugh.

you spare him a glance and he lowers both of his raised brows, as if a cat caught his tongue. deciding not to press on it, you point over mary’s shoulder where the information counter is located, “if you’re interested in classes, someone by the info counter would be more than glad to explain to you the procedures and types of classes we have,” you see a pout forming on mary’s lips, “you can mention my name if you’d like me to be your trainer. i’m sure i can squeeze someone as mighty as you in my schedule,”

without missing a beat, mary shakes off frank’s grip and makes a bolt to the counter before he can hold her back. he’s alarmed and he’s about to follow her trail but the panic ebbs away when he catches a glimpse of roberta trying to steer mary to read some pamphlets. guess bringing roberta along has its’ perks. frank is greeted with your quiet laugh when he faces forward, in awe as he’s back to growing silent as he looks at you.

“she’s a feisty one, huh?” you comment, adjusting your hand wrap as your eyes fixate on mary now giddily walking around the gym. the kind of sunshine that radiated wherever she went. it’d be nice to have that kind of energy around. “yeah, runs in the family,” frank jokes, earning a snort from you at his comment.

just like that, as if a switch that falls into place at the right time, you shift your eyes to the man in front of you; mutually locking eyes when he takes his eyes off of mary. there’s this pause of silence that envelopes the two of you in. as if you weren’t in a public area where many could see the two of you just staring at each other silently. you didn’t know what it was but it was... rather comforting, a bit of excitement with the thrill of the unknown that merges with attraction and infatuation. 

you didn’t know what you were waiting for and you’re certain if you don’t break the silence now you could be standing here for hours. not that you have an issue with but you did have a job to go back to. frank feels a pang in his gut when you slowly make your move away from him, offering him a small wave as the distance between your bodies grow, “nice to meet you, frank,”

brashly, frank allows the words to fly out of his mouth before he can hold them back. “could i sign up for a class?” 

you halt in your steps just as your hands reach for the rope to get back into the ring. turning back around, you catch frank’s smirk–uncertain if he was serious or not at the poker face that quickly masks over his features.

“you wanna learn how to box?”

“i mean,” frank clears his throat, casually sliding his hands into the pocket of his jeans. the act alone makes you smile. how nonchalantly handsome he was. the small quirk of his lips tilting upwards. “only if the trainer is you,” 

the awkward silence earlier was now replaced with a hint of playfulness, the kind of lightness that kept you on your feet. it was fleeting, the gentle tugging of your heartstrings at the man before you having sparks in his eyes just looking at you. you feel a wave of tiny kisses to your skin, mimicking goosebumps at the thought of what it’s like being loved by him. and if there’s anything that your skills as a boxer gave you, it was the eye to hit the bullseye, even with words and intuition.

“are you flirting with me?” the raise of your brow, the small shift of your head backwards and genuine look on your face makes frank’s heart skip a beat. like actually miss one beat to continue on to the other. it’s almost as if you can’t believe it and it makes him want to make you believe it when someone like you appeared to be too precious.

“sharp eye,” he kisses his teeth with his tongue, grinning at you, “no wonder you’re a boxer,”

“well,” you start off, "you know how to reach me,” your eyes point to the direction of the information counter that frank doesn’t have to look away from to know. he’s fixated his gaze on you, as if he’s mesmerized (then again, he is). “i’m sure i can squeeze you in my schedule too,”

frank gapes. “are you flirting back?” 

the tone of surprise makes you shrug at him with a cheeky grin, “sharp eye,” your choice of words is mirroring his, “you should learn how to box,” 

frank doesn’t miss the small wink you shoot straight to his chest, penetrating his heart. the hands of time seemingly stops, much like frank’s body when he can’t move. he stares at you in bewilderment, both brows raised in amusement. it’s like another jab to the heart when you look over your shoulder to giggle at him and in a split second, he watches your game mode take over as you put on the boxing gloves again. he doesn’t know he’s been holding his breath until mary reappears by his side, grabbing onto his hand to get him to–”could you sign the papers so that i can come here for a trial class next week?”

frank doesn’t hesitate for a second: “yes.”

//

the second time was the week after he first met you. it was mary’s first trial class and frank didn’t know it was possible to fall in love with someone again–the first being... well, the first time he met you. he sat through the whole session, by the benches as he kept his eyes on mary for the most portion of the time. half-worried she’d get herself hurt but the moment he saw you stepping into the ring and started prepping the class of ten, he somehow rests easy.

it’s like he’s casted under a spell and it’s the fastest two hours of his life that ticked by just like that. he hadn’t realized the class was even over until you’re aiding mary out of her boxing gloves. frank sees how she has hearts in her eyes looking up to you as you undo her hand wraps as well–seems like mary has something in common with him regarding you.

he takes in a couple of deep breaths while making his way over. mary runs towards him at the sight of him and it grants your eyes to follow her figure until you meet with frank’s. 

“hey,” he nods with a small wave, his other hand now cupping the back of mary’s head when she throws herself onto the man. the sight alone makes you smile, how mary’s now trying to climb all over frank with him barely affected by it. as if it was a norm. “hi frank,”

“how was this little tiger?” frank questions, hoping to keep the conversation going as he watches you remove your hand wraps, a moment to let your skin breathe. 

“she’s a natural,” you snort, “the best i’ve had all week for kids her age,”

“always the overachiever, huh?” frank gives mary’s hand a small shake as she chuckles, now half-climbing onto his torso and frank gives her a boost so she’s seated on his shoulders. frank’s mouth opens to hopefully ask you to join them for dinner but the way you walk over without a warning to hand mary a pair of gloves with him in between has him sucking in a breath.

his hands tightly grip onto mary’s ankles, an excuse he’s steadying her but mary kinda knows as she takes the gloves from you with a cute smile, “thanks, y/n!”

“no problem kiddo, i expect you to handle them with care, alright?” you shoot a wink at her and as you face forward, you’re suddenly in close proximity with the man holding her up. mary lightly nudges frank with the new gloves she has, tapping it on his head, “look, frank! y/n gave me my first pair of gloves!”

he knows staring like this is rude but he can’t help himself. it’s like you lured him in without trying; his words already garbled in his throat and he’s failing again to speak. you blink at him a couple of times, then giggling at his puzzled look when mary pat his head again with her glove. “hello? frank? are you in there?”

“y-yeah, nice gloves–”mary interjects when frank–”you didn’t even look at them!”

frank mutes her voice out to ask you in a haste: “hey, uh... you should join us,”

you watch mary give up on pestering frank, now bright blue eyes illuminated at the thought of you possibly having a meal with them. “yes!” mary squeals, using her gloves to clap in excitement but you’re not only turning down one sweetheart but two.

your eyes gaze from mary’s to frank’s, offering a small smile, “i’d love to,”

it’s as if you breathed life into their lungs.

“but i have a class in fifteen minutes,”

with that line alone, you watch as both of their shoulders sag in disappointment. your hand reaches up to tap mary’s kneecap, to which she responds with a soft okay... and then to frank, his eyes widen when you give his arm a squeeze. “maybe next time?”

you don’t wait for a response and step away from them. it’s not until mary gives another hit to frank’s head that the man musters up a response before you start your next class.

“is that a promise?”

you look back with a fond smile, shrugging, “it’s a maybe,” with that, you give them a wave before you get back into the ring, rounding the batch of students for the next class.

“i like her, frank,” mary sighs, now leaning forward with her hands folded on top of frank’s head as she dangles the gloves by the sides of his face. the man nods with a quiet exhale, “...that makes both of us.”

//

the third time was when he stood in the middle of the aisle of a grocery store, frozen like a statue the second he meets with your gaze. dressed for comfort in a hoodie with a pair of leggings; hair slightly askew but eyes just as bright as you meet frank’s. he watches as you take in his attire as well; clad in a fitting t-shirt and jeans. casual looks good on frank and it’s like he knows it, well-aware you’re eyeing him the same way he’s eyeing you. mutual gazes, mirrored smiles, distance closing in on one another as you meet each other halfway.

“seems like fate keeps bringing us together,” frank lifts both brows playfully, earning himself a light bump to his arm from you, “i’m pretty sure it’s the cinnamon toast crunch,”

“i’ll be sure to thank them, then,” he chuckles along with you, a hand of his rubbing the back of his neck and... under the fluorescent lights and shy looks, it’s a moment that feels like it was just you and him. a couple of blinks later and you’re still staring at frank staring back at you. honestly, you didn’t know what you were waiting for and the longer time goes by without anyone saying anything feels unbearable. so you’re making the first move to reach for a box of cereal.

that stirs frank to do or say something and he tries to take the box away from your hands. “here, lemme get that for you,”

he offers you a small smile, “it’s the least i could do for those boxing gloves you gave to mary,”

you found it adorable, your tone is playful as you say: “you wanna buy me my cereal, frank?”

it was a simple question because you hadn’t expected that from him but frank interprets it the wrong way with guilt flushing down on him. he gapes, hand flinching as he grips onto the box. “oh, shit. that’s not what i meant to imply. i just thought i could buy you something in return for... you know...”

reality hits you in the face with how your question could’ve sounded, too. your eyes widen at the realiziation, a hand of yours darting out to squeeze his wrist, “oh gosh–frank, no! that’s not what i meant. i was just messing with you–”a voice from behind frank sounds, dissolving the situation. “frank, is that you?”

you peek over frank’s shoulder to see a familiar face. though, not one that you’ve met formally, just polite nods and smiles of acknowledgement. bonnie, you think. mary’s teacher for one of her girl guide’s sessions.

frank looks back at you, watching as you loosen your grip on him and slowly retract your hand away. he almost hates how he wants to reach out to hold onto your hand, even though he knows it’s not fitting. you peel the box of cereal from him and offer a small smile, “i’ll get going,”

his mouth opens to object but you’re already quick to slip past him. he turns around to watch you greet bonnie with a smile and shaking her hand when she introduces herself. it’s not even a minute that you’re excusing yourself and soon you’re gone from his sight...replaced with bonnie now in front of him.

“why do i feel like i interrupted something?"

“maybe you did,” he scoffs a laugh, rolling his eyes, “or you just saved my ass from being a total idiot,”

frank’s still staring at the direction you left, raising a chuckle from bonnie. he turns to her with a squint. “what’s so funny?”

“this is nice,” she hums, “means she’ll be good for you.”

“you think?” frank snorts, yet he knows bonnie’s tone is anything but condescending. she sounds rather... hopeful.

“if anyone can render the frank adler nervous, i would say so, yeah.”

//

the fourth time was past the dim lights of the bar and frank thinks you look absolutely gorgeous and blinding despite being in a place so dark. the soft glow of orange on your skin compliments your features, along with the black jacket and navy dress peeking through. he had only managed a feeble didn’t think i’d see you around here and the drinks took over from there.

it felt like a fever dream; everything moving so quickly before frank can steady himself with his alcohol intake. initially it was going well, or so he thought. his confidence was through the roof, able to convey his thoughts of someone who recently caught his eye and if he was sober, maybe he might’ve noticed the way you were flirting back past his hidden innuendos. 

it wasn’t until the shots he had taken prior to gathering the courage to talk to you caught up with him and he was a goner. just when he had the balls to string together a will you let me take you out on a date? his head is spinning and everything looks like a kaleidoscope. mixes of colors imprinting his vision and it was only the strong grip that hauls him out of the bar for fresh air that manages to keep him conscious.

as he leans against his truck, he turns his head to the side to see who was holding him up. in his mind, it’s all a dream. one that he’ll wake up from and realize it’s all a bloody mess. he reaches out and is amazed when he’s able to cup your cheek with his palm, smiling fondly, adoring the way your warm eyes manage to soothe his erratic heartbeat. he feels a surge churning up his throat and after hurling out his insides out, he’s knocked out in the passenger seat of his truck.

the next thing he knows, he’s whining as he meets with the bed, making grabby hands at whoever had just placed him down (or allow him to plant face first onto the mattress). you sigh at his antics, resorting to sit on the bed beside him as he grips onto your arm. it was rather charming, watching as you give your arm a shake and his cheek is glued onto it with a huff.

“you–”hiccup”–didn’t answer my question,”

snorting, you give his head a pat and trying to peel him off you so he can lay back down. “you should try this again another time,” he groans and rolls onto his back, grumbling when you pull up the blanket to cover his body, “you know, when you’re not pissed drunk,”

“i’m not–”burp”–drunk...” he turns his head to look at you with a frown despite the odd angle, “just... a little loose. freeing, if you will,”

with a small smile that frank manages to catch past his heavy eyelids dragging him to sleep, the last words he hears are: “goodnight, frank.” along with a soft kiss he feels against his cheek that he won’t remember the next day.

((”frank,” inquisitive.

“mary,” irritated.

“do you know how you got home?” mary’s voice slowly reels frank awake, even if he doesn’t want to be. his head hurts like a bitch and he wants nothing more than to roll around in bed and hibernate for five years. “...do i want to know?” his voice is still hoarse, dry like the sahara desert as he slumps onto the sofa.

“oh, you know,” mary sighs, peeking up from her book, “maybe if you tried to think out of the box,”

his face scrunches at her words, almost passing it as it’s not worth trying to go through mental acrobats to decipher what she means. the second he merely touches on the idea of what could’ve possibly happened, it replays in his mind like a horror movie he doesn’t want to relive. he distinctively remembers chatting you up at the bar, then settling down in the corner where he felt like he had a moment with you one on one. then he gains the courage to finally ask you out... only to ruin it with him vomiting his insides out onto the pavement just by his truck.

frank reaches for a pillow and yells into it.))

//

the fifth time was when he came to your gym on a saturday night instead of going to the bar... with a gift basket in tow because he feels like an absolute dick. he’s surprised to see the gym empty other than you in the corner, in a loose t-shirt and leggings, practicing punches by the punching stand. then again, he is here at nine o’ clock on a saturday night.

“could i join you?” a voice startles you as your gloved fist meets the pvc material. you turn around to see who it belonged to and when you do, your gaze softens. it makes frank feel twice as bad. “depends,” your eyes spot the basket he’s holding and you notion at it with your chin, “did you drink?”

he lets out a deep sigh, setting the basket down to explain, “hey, about the other night–”his words get garbled in his throat when he catches the pair of gloves you toss at him, “here, put those on,”

he doesn’t have a chance to say anything when you brush past him to head into one of the rings. quietly, he puts it on after struggling a little as he tries to follow your pace. sliding into the ring, he clears his throat as you stand before him with punching mitts on–instead of the gloves he’s wearing. you hold them up in front of him as you remained a good arm’s length away.

he gapes, unsure of what to do other than lifting his hands up. with a chuckle, your eyes point to your hands, “give me a punch,”

hesitating at first, he tests the waters with a soft one that makes you snort. “really, frank?”

he only shrugs, not seeing your point.

“a five year old could’ve punched better. go again.”

just like that, he decides to fuck it and allows himself to let go, giving a few good punches that has you nodding in amusement. you encourage him to go keep going, alternating between left and right and he does just that. the more he does it the more adrenaline flushes through his veins and he feels like he’s letting loose. he’s able to feel what it’s like being under your care; to hear words of encouragement, elevating him to do better, hit harder, faster, quicker. he doesn’t know how many punches he’s thrown until it’s a few too many that he can’t breathe right. you call him out to take a breather at how red his face has gotten, urging him to pause for a moment.

it dawns on him that he can’t stall any longer and he has to say what he wants to say. it seems like you’ve caught on when he looks down to his gloves, fiddling with it as on the other hand, you’re easily taking your punching mitts off. his eyes watch as you walk to lean against one of the corners of the ring, looking up to catch his gae.

“go on,” you call out, chucking the mitts down to the side, then your arms fold in front of your chest, “i’m pretty sure you didn’t come here just to box,”

now’s as good of a time as any.

“look, um... first off, i’m sorry about the other night. i was drunk and i’m pretty sure it was horrible to see me like that,” he visibly shudders recollecting how he hurled out his dinner in front of you. instead of a tease coming at him, you reassure him with a small smile and shrug, “not too bad. i’ve seen worse,”

frank feels his heart stopping at the sight of you comforting him with words and with your eyes. he quickly looks away, knowing he can’t continue to say what he wants to without messing up if you keep looking at him like that.

“i think you’re amazing–you really are–and... i dunno, i get nervous trying to talk to you because i haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time and i don’t want to fuck things up but it feels like i have and–”frank’s starting to get red again that you urge him to take a breath by lowly whistling at him. it startles him but he does just that with a chuckle directed to himself. exhaling deeply and now managing to lock eyes with you when he tilts his chin up, “so i was... wondering if you’re free some time to let me take you out on... a date?”

frank can’t quite read your facial expressions as you let out an exhale. slowly, each step you take towards him makes his heart race faster. the anticipation of what your answer could be.

your answer knocks the wind out of his lungs. quite literally. with hands reaching up to his face and a small tug, he leans down with a soft yelp before you press your lips to his. the initial shock stills him but after a few seconds, like clockwork, he kisses you back as fervently, if not more. he tries to grip onto your waist, forgetting he still has the boxing gloves on. it makes you giggle against his lips when he’s fumbling to get rid of it, groaning as he struggles.

your hands nudge him back by the face so you’re able to help him out of them. once his hands are free from the restraint, you sigh at the feeling of his strong arm sliding around your waist and his hand cupping your chin so he can kiss you again. he takes his time, tongue coaxing yours, him squeezing your waist in efforts to pull you closer. you smile into his lips, one of your hands carding through his hair, earning yourself a deep groan against your lips while your other runs down his chest and settling your hand on the line of his jeans.

he pulls away and you whine at the lost of contact of his lips but they reattach onto your jaw, trailing lower until he settles on your neck. the brushing of his beard has you shivering in delight, your body automatically pressing close to him when he takes your flesh between his lips, leaving a mark. 

with your fingers still in his hair, one of your legs hike up to his waist and he groans against your skin, his hand welcoming you to wrap them around him so you can feel his hardening cock past the denim. you roll your hips against him, allowing him to feel the warmth he could only imagine of but now he’s relishing in the sweet friction between your bodies grinding against each other.

"i–”he pulls back with a pant, leaning his forehead onto yours“–wanted to take you out to dinner first,”

you grin, nuzzling your nose with him and he can’t help but sneak in another kiss before holding himself back for you to respond. “nothing wrong with a little teaser first,”

“yeah?” he whispers, the small smile of relief on his face that makes you mirror him. “yeah,” you kiss him to reassure him you want this as much as he does and it’s so easy for the two of you to fall back into a rhythm of rocking into each other. frank’s kissing down your neck again, leaving more marks on your skin; the feeling of his beard brushing on you is comforting and hot at the same time.

he moans breathlessly into your ear when you start rubbing him through his jeans, jolts of pleasure sparking through his body as his hips buck into your palm. he hisses, moving his grip on your thigh pressed to his hip to slide them behind your bottom to give your ass a harsh squeeze that has you letting out a soft moan. he’s about to slide his hand past your leggings but you catch him by the wrist before he does.

alarmed, he repels from you with worry filling his eyes. afraid he’s doing something wrong or that you’re uncomfortable. yet you assure him with a firm kiss to the lips, drawing back to smirk at him, “not here, handsome,”

he only processes what you mean as you detach yourself from him to slide out of the ring and he’s chasing after you. the coast is clear when all the stalls in the shower area are empty and frank catches up to you into one of it. not even allowing you to take your clothes off, he flicks the water tap on to let the water rain on the two of you before he dives in to kiss your lips. he grabs ahold of you by the waist, pinning you against the door and messily slamming it shut in the process. the vibration and impact makes you giggle into his mouth, making him pull back to check on–”you okay?”

“more than okay,” you hum, taking the chance to push him back by the chest so you’re able to strip yourself from your shirt. it slaps onto the wet floor and frank eyes at your chest hungrily. with the swipe of your finger under his chin to tilt his gaze up, he sighs. “you’re beautiful,”

“now you’re pretty good with your words, hm?” your grin fades away when it’s his turn to remove the drenched cotton from his skin. you didn’t know what you were expecting but to say you were pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. his well-defined chest invites your hands to reach out to touch and he welcomes you to, leaning into your touch. 

“i’m still much better with actions,” he smirks at you, working on the buckle of his jeans.

his clothes join yours when you make the move to rid of your leggings and panties; him, his jeans and boxers. he easily kicks it to the side and registers your lips on his the second he stands back up. he chuckles and lures you back under the water with him, your body growing pliant against him as his hands crawl down your waist and grips onto each ass cheek into his palms–full and tight. it elicits a moan from you that frank swallows with a grunt, adoring the sounds you were making past the running water.

your hands go through his now drenched hair, the other gripping onto his arm for support. one of his hands slide forward and dips between your legs to cup your center. before you can ask for more he moves to your inner thigh, touching you everywhere but the place you want him most. both your hands reach for his face, loving the feeling of his skin on yours. gazing into his eyes as he feels you up and when you bite your lip, he slyly slips his hand between your legs; the blissful feeling of his bare fingers stroking your slit before he starts to play with your clit.

“you’re so wet,” frank murmurs in admiration, loving the slick feeling of his fingers coated with your arousal; as if the water hadn’t aided much. “are you gonna do something about it?”

frank lives up to being an actions man when he doesn’t answer. he proves it to you with his movements when he uses his fingers to get you ready. holding onto him for balance as he finds rooting to anchor you down, fingering you until you’re breathless. then he prods at your entrance with the tip of his cock, teasing you for a short-lived moment before he slides in. 

he pushes his hips in deeper, making you feel deliciously full as you claw down on his back. he messily directs your hands to his shoulders and he heaves you up onto his waist, pressing you against the wall with your head directly beneath the shower head. he fills you in to the brim; deep inside of you but he doesn’t move, giving you time to adjust while he kisses you.

then his hips draw back and forth, starting with slow and calculated thrusts that makes you moan quietly into his ear. he fastens his pace when you’re clenching on him, keening into his movements when your body fits together with his oh-so-well. 

the sounds of skin meeting and moans of pleasure echoes off the walls; capturing you and frank in a blissful state of euphoria. almost cocooning the pair of you in and muting out the world as you reach your highs. frank rides out your orgasm until you’re sated and urging him to do the same. he comes a couple of seconds later, pulling out and painting your skin with white ribbons that slowly get dissolved with the droplets of water trickling down your body.

when the bathroom echoes with just sounds of the pair of you breathing along with the water tapping onto the tiles, frank carefully sets you down. his hands come by your waist as a support as you chuckle into his neck, sighing with your arms hug him.

“by the way,” frank speaks into your ear, chin pressed to the side of your head, “you didn’t answer me yet,”

he draws back just a little to get a glimpse of your smile. one of your hands reach up to stroke his cheek, rendering him breathless at the gesture, “what?”

he turns his head a little to press a kiss to your palm, then nuzzling his cheek into your hand, “forgive me?”

“mm,” you nod once, leaning up to share a soft kiss with frank before you murmur over them, “you’re forgiven, and,”

he raises a brow curiously, forehead thumping on yours, “and?”

“i’d love to go out with you, frank.”

“perfect,” frank whispers past the running water and your hitched breath as his hands slide around your waist to tug you closer so he can kiss you again. again and again until it makes your head spin; laughter drumming into his ears delightfully and trying (but failing at least five times) to actually shower. it clicks in frank’s mind that when he said ‘perfect’, it wasn’t the situation (though it applies). 

it was you.

((”not exactly what i had in mind for a date,” frank muses, slipping the straw into the drink for you and you make an incoherent sound, “most restaurants are usually closed by midnight,” you snort, and frank swipes the corner of your lips to rid of the small patch of sauce smudged on your face. you give him an appreciative nod, chewing the remnants of your burger. it’s endearing. how comfortable you were with him yet somewhat self-conscious. still yourself entirely. maybe that’s what frank adores about you from the start.

when you and frank left the gym, it took him thirty minutes driving around to look for a restaurant that was open at this late hour. it wasn’t until he drives past a fast-food chain that has you tapping on his thigh and he gives in to a drive-thru. that brings you and him sitting on the hood of his truck. enjoying the peaceful quiet of the night in the middle of an empty parking lot.

“this doesn’t count, by the way,” frank calls out, an arm extending out to you, inviting you to his embrace when both of you were done eating. you grab ahold of your drink and slide to position yourself between his legs as he lies back, taking you with him. “sure it does,” you hum, resting your head against his shoulder, “this is a great first date,”

“you’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?” he scoffs a laugh, resting his chin atop your head, his strong arms banded around your figure.

“do i give you the impression i sugar coat my words?”

“not really, no,”

“there you have it, frank.”

the silence ensues as the two of you stay like that. one of your hands stroking his arms while the other holds your cup for a couple of sips every now and then. you share that with frank when you lift the cup up and he manages to chuckle even when you poke the straw to his nose, then he’s accepting the taste of soda kissing his tongue. you set the drink aside to hold onto him, eyes fluttering shut as you take calm breaths as you relax in frank’s arms.

granted, this wasn’t the way frank intended to take you out on a first date but he couldn’t have seen it differently. beneath the midnight sky and the shy moon accompanying the two of you on a first date, all frank sees is you glowing in his embrace.))

[doubleleoenergy]

Bad Habits

My bad habits lead to late nights, endin' alone. Conversations with a stranger I barely know. Swearin' this will be the last, but it probably won't.

Pairing: Lee Bodecker x sexworker!fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, innocence kink, corruption kink, sex work, anal, oral, rough fucking

Words: 1,286

Notes: This is my submission for @my-divine-death​’s motell 666 writing challenge! I chose: the demonized, #999, and segsy seabass.

One knock. Two knocks. Three knocks on room #999. Their usual knock code and room number. Lee approached the door, a smile spreading on his face as he adjusted himself in his uniform.

Lee had found her through a colleague at the station, had gotten the number for her agency and had told the woman on the phone what he was looking for. At the end of their conversation he had scheduled an ‘appointment’ at motel 666 with y/n and the rest was history.

This became the routine every Friday for over three months, and Lee couldn’t get enough. She was beautiful. Lee thought she could’ve been a model if she didn’t waste so much time on her back. He paid in all cash, no paper trails and nothing that could get him in trouble at the station.

Y/N filled a void in his life, fulfilled every dirty fantasy that ran through his mind, and was the only woman that kept him company with her presence. She’d call his number from the main line every Thursday to confirm their ‘appointment’ and ask what he’d like to do that week. It always varied, the kinkier the better for Lee. Some days he handcuffed her to the bed and ate her out while she came over and over on his tongue. Other days he choked her till she passed out while fucking her in every position imaginable. No hole was off limits with her, she only had two rules: always wear a condom and no kissing on the lips. Both were easy for Lee to commit to.

Lee opened the door, taking in the sight of y/n for the evening. She was dressed in a black and white plaid skirt, white blouse, white stockings, and black Mary Jane’s. Her curls bounced as she stepped past him into the motel with Lee shutting the door behind her.

“Good Evenin’, Sheriff.” She teased, moving to sit down on the bed, her legs crossed as she undid her shoes and kicked them aside.

“Evenin’ y/n.” He responded, taking in the sight of her before him on the bed.

Tonight’s request was all about ‘corrupting y/n’s innocence’. Lee wanted y/n to play an innocent college girl while he played the big bad sheriff looking to corrupt her. His part wasn’t as much of an act. Y/N was in her early 20s, playing the part perfectly as well, as she used the funds from her job to pay for her college classes.

“I need a little help with somethin’.” She whispered, opening her legs to display her bare pussy to him. “I’ve never had’a orgasm, Sheriff. Would ‘ya be able to help me with that?” She asked, batting her doe eyes at him.

Lee moved closer, undoing his belt and unbuttoning his trousers, letting his cock spring free underneath. He wasn’t wearing any briefs, giving him more relief for his aching cock.

“I’ve got somethin’ for ‘ya, sweets. Do you know how to suck a cock?” He stepped out of his trousers, keeping his uniform shirt and tie on, his badge shining in the light from the lamp beside the bed.

“No, Sir, I’ve never even played with myself.” She chirped, her eyes widening at the sight of Lee pumping himself in his hand. Faking innocence, check.

“It’s easy, just open ‘ya mouth and I’ll do the rest.” Y/N got on her hands and knees on the bed, staring up at his cock and opening her mouth wide. Lee moved closer, slapping his cock against her tongue before pushing in her mouth, watching as she enveloped his cock, swirling her tongue on the underside of it.

“Look at that, a fast learner.” He taunted, bucking his hips deeper into her warm mouth. He fucked her face, watching as saliva dripped down her chin and onto the floor, tears streaming down her face. Lee finally pulls out of her mouth with a pop, spanking her ass from under her skirt. It made him hornier to fuck her fully clothed.

“Turn around, wanna see that pretty pussy of yours.” He commanded, watching as she moved her face against the motel mattress, her pussy on display for him. She could hear the rip of the condom wrapper, turning her head to ensure that he put it on. “Have ‘ya had anything in this pussy?” He rubbed his cock against her folds, making her shiver.

“No Sheriff, never even had a man touch me.” She lied, wiggling her ass on his cock.

“Well sweets, I’ma ‘bout to fuck ‘ya real nice.” His cock pushed in, her pussy tightening instinctively around him. Lee groaned as he bottomed out inside her, moving his hips in an animalistic rhythm. “Look at that, ‘ya pussy is made for me. Tell me how much you like it.” He instructed, slapping her ass as he fucked in and out of her.

“I like it, Sheriff! Your cock feels so good in my pussy, thank ‘ya for fucking me!” She felt that familiar feeling building up in her stomach, her eyes flying shut. “I’m gonna cum, thank ‘ya Sheriff!” Y/N cried out, her walls tightening around his cock.

“Good girl, sweets.” He pulled out after she came down from her high, his cock coated in her cum. “We’ve got one more hole to break in.” He announced, his cock poking at her tight ring of muscles.

“N-No Sheriff, please!” She fake-pleaded with him, pretending to wiggle out of his grip. Lee doesn’t stop, her cries spurring him on as he pushes his cock in deep, not giving her time to adjust to the intrusion before fucking her mercilessly.

“No Sheriff, please don’t fuck my ass!” She cried out, bouncing forward with every thrust. “Can’t take it, it’s too much! Please!”

“This ass is so tight, look at ‘ya, turning into a whore on ‘ya Sheriff’s cock. Your beggin’ me to stop, but your body says keep goin’. ‘Bout ready to burst in this ass.” He groans, fucking into her faster before he cums inside the condom, holding himself inside her until he comes down from his high, finally pulling out.

Lee tosses the condom in the trash, y/n sitting up and pulling back on her shoes, walking to the bathroom and washing the saliva stains from her face.

“Got the cash?” She asks, drying her face and straightening her clothes, her hands placed on her hips.

“Right…” Lee went over to the nightstand, pulling out the envelope of cash and setting it on the bed. “Listen, why don’t we go out for dinner? My treat.” Y/N grabbed the envelope, opening it up and counting the cash to make sure it was accurate, an eyebrow raising at his offer.

“I appreciate it, but no thanks. You’re a great customer though, Lee.” She added, a sigh leaving Lee’s lips at her words. Customer. Was that all she thought of him?

“Y/N, I don’t want to just fuck, ‘ya know? You’re perfect; smart, beautiful, a good lay. The whole package.” He rubbed his hands over his face, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’m in love with ‘ya, y/n. I want to take care of ‘ya, want ‘ya to be my girl.”

Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her heels, chewing on her bottom lip. She strides to the door, the envelope in her right hand while opening the door with the other.

“Lee, what we do, the fantasies we play out, it’s all fake. None of this is real. You’re my client, I’m your hire. That’s it.” Lee looks down at his hands, his jaw tensing.

“I’ll see ‘ya next week.” And with that she’s gone, leaving Lee to drink away his sorrows in room #999.

[lfnr-blog-blog-blog]

Shameless reblog!!

Glory

Image from here.

Summary: You spend your whole life waiting for the color to fill in on your soulmate tattoo, when it does you finally meet the one you are spending the rest of your life with, the only catch you only get to spend so many days with them.

Pairing: soulmate!Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: Major Character death, Angst, Fluff(some). Talk of illness, and disabled/chronically ill reader. Minor could be considered suicidal thoughts.

Timeline: Soooo non canon timelines, and canon divergence. Bucky goes to Wakanda after CA:TWS, No CW or Endgame. Sorry not sorry. Just go with the flow y’all.

A/N: This hits really close to home for me. My chronic illness and I are currently struggling with treatment and we aren't sure what will happen next.

THIS IS AN 18+ blog. MINORS DNI!

Written for @bucksmotel 2k follower Challenge. Congratulations Darling! I am so proud of you!!!

Soulmate AU Idea: -Timer of how much time you spent with your soulmate

soul mate

/ˈsōl ˌmāt/

noun

noun: soulmate

a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

Looking in your mirror at the dictionary cutout of the definition of soul mate you have had for the last 12 years, then at the time stamp on your left shoulder surrounded by the almost completely filled in outline of blue Glory of the Snow flowers, 572. That's how many days you would get to spend with your soulmate, just over 18 months. Sometimes the person you love dies, sometimes it is you, sometimes the unthinkable happens and you go together. Covering up your shoulder, hoping today is the day that you meet the soulmate you have been dreaming of for years, just like every day for the last 2 months, as the flowers get more color the closer you are to meeting your soulmate. Grabbing your stuff, head down the elevator of your apartment building, you get in your car and back out of the designated spot for you. An early spring snow falling as you make your way to the appointment you have been dreading for months.

Heading out of the office, head in the clouds, you are run into by a tall stranger, dark brown hair covering his eyes as he looks at his phone, suddenly your shoulder is hot and tingly. “Ouch,” you cry out rubbing your shoulder.

“Sorry.” He rubs his arm. Suddenly it hits you. “Doll, I think you might be my soulmate.” He says as he kneels down in front of you, rolling his sleeve to show you blue Glory of the Snow flowers. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this. My name is Bucky.” You shake your head and tears start to flow, you give him your name.

“What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Can I get you a drink?” He asks, putting his hands on the back of the wheelchair you are seated in.

“I would like that Bucky.” You head in the wheelchair down to the hospital cafeteria unsure of what to say to the man who is supposed to be the love of your life. After ordering your drink, and Bucky grabbing a muffin and his americano, you wheel over to a table. “Well Doll, it's been a long time coming so tell me about yourself.” You proceed to tell him about your life leading up to this point, and he tells you about his time as the Winter Soldier, life in the 40’s and how things have gone since Steve found him in D.C, his time in Wakanda and then his soul searching journey in Romania.

“I thought growing up that my flowers would never color in, and then I woke up in D.C and they had a small amount of color in them and I had hope. After my time in Wakanda there was more color and I knew that I was going to find you soon.” Bucky says tracing the scars on your right arm in the same spot as his soulmate tattoo. “I have 572 days to show you just how much I love you, and I intend on using every single one of them to the best of my ability.”

After talking and laughing for hours about both of your favorite books, drinks, foods, funny stories, and music, you are exhausted, leaning your head on your hand on the table, eyes fluttering closed. “I need to get home, Bucky, I am very tired.” Bucky grabs onto your wheelchair and pushes you out to your car in the now empty parking lot, “Tomorrow would you like to watch a movie at my apartment with me after my treatment?” You ask him as you attempt to put your wheelchair in the car. He helps maneuver the chair into the back of your vehicle and walks you to your door, making sure that you are safe and that your car starts. “Sure. Text me a time and an address? And let me know when you get home safe, Wouldn’t want my best girl out in the snow too long.” He says with a warm smile. You give him a quick kiss on the cheek and then he squeezes your hand and shuts the door. You head home to your apartment, figuring out what to feed a super soldier for movie snacks.

Days Left: 500

The summer air feels nice on your skin as you and Bucky make your way through the countryside. Letting your head fall against his chest, sunglasses on, Bucky's arm on your shoulder, old jazz standards streaming through the truck radio. “Bucky, I wish you would tell me where we are going.” You giggle at him as he kisses your forehead. “Not a chance, Doll. It is a surprise, but I know you will love it.” You sneak a few pictures on your phone, adding them to the album for prints to be made, wanting to savor every moment in his presence. You fall asleep while he drives the fatigue finally overtaking your body, strains of Unforgettable (Nat Cole King and Natalie Cole) following you into the dreamland. You wake to Bucky carrying you across a field to a small gazebo with fairy lights and a blanket on the ground. “Almost there princess.” he says as you enter the gazebo, and he sets you down in the nest of pillows. You enjoy a small meal of all your favorites, and listen to music while watching the sun fade across the sky, eventually going down when Bucky kneels next to you pulling a ring out of his pocket. “My love, I have known since the day I met you that I was going to marry you, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?” Tears stream down your face as you nod, “Yes, of course Bucky.” You kiss him, not pulling away until you are gasping for air.

Days left: 393

The swishing of the dress around your legs pulls you out of your thoughts, back to all the sleepless nights talking to Bucky, the countless treatments and doctors appointments, the pictures taken, and the intimate moments shared. Your maid of honor zips the dress up the rest of the way, placing the veil on your head. “You ready? This is the rest of your life we are talking about. He is waiting for you.” You sit back in your wheelchair as people gather around you, putting flowers in your lap, fluffing your dress, putting the finishing touches on you, before you make yourself forever Mrs. Barnes. The Aisle is short, choosing to navigate it yourself, and at the end of it his blue eyes are waiting, tears waiting to be shed. The ceremony is quick, both of you expressing your love and promises to be there for the other through the good and the bad, in sickness and in health, forever and for always, no till death do us part here. That night you spend your time in his arms, him never letting you go, holding you until the sun comes up.

Days left: 300

“Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, I am sorry there is nothing more we can do. We can make you comfortable, but no treatments are going to work.” The doctor says before she leaves, “I will send in the nurse to schedule some appointments for you to get comfort measures taken care of.” You turn to Bucky, crawling into his lap, funny how just 271 days ago, you met him in this very hospital and now there is nothing more that can be done for you. “I am going to stop going on missions, Doll, there isn’t much time left, let's travel the world and just spend time with each other.” Tears stream from your eyes as you nod, not trusting your voice to say anything more than a broken “I love you Bucky Barnes, Today, Tomorrow and 300 days from now.”

Days left: 90

Feeling the sand between your toes as Bucky comes out with the nurse, “Time for your treatment princess.” he says pulling the sunshade over you a little more as the nurse sets up the IV fluids and tube feeds. At least you picked a paradise to spend the short remainder of your life in. He has been so supportive, learning all he can about your illness, learning to take care of you and the medical needs. Loving you and using each day that he has available. At first he attempted to find treatments, experimental, even calling in a favor from Wakanda to see what they could do for you, and after a large argument, ending with you in the ER, he finally decided to give up and spend the time just holding you.

Days left: 1

You wake up and pull yourself from Bucky’s arms, wanting to spend your final day putting together a gift for Bucky once you are gone, letting him sleep in the bed. Gathering all the pictures you have taken over the last 500 plus days, you put them in a book, writing small notes to Bucky, memories and thank you’s. From the pictures you snuck of him in the kitchen, or out on the porch, in the rain both of you kissing. Pictures of your wedding, and pictures of the two of you at the treatment centers. You put the scrapbook where you know he will find it, and roll yourself out to the living room of the hotel room. Choosing to spend your last days in Romania, hoping that he will feel some peace here, after you are gone. Instructions for your funeral have been left with your lawyer and Bucky has nothing to worry about. He finally wakes up, joining you in the living room. “Let’s get breakfast and then I want to go for a drive, Bucky.” He gets ready and you find a small café, enjoying a pastry and the same drink you got on that first day that you met him. In the car you are headed out towards a field that he told you about, listening to Unforgettable again, when suddenly the car swerves, flipping over and over again, Bucky calling out your name, through the smoke, the last thing you hear is “I will always love you Doll.” before your eyes close.

Days left: 0

You wake up gasping, hearing beeping around you. When you open your eyes on your lap sits a scrapbook. You flip it open to the first page, seeing your handwriting.

Bucky,

When you read this your flowers will be black. A sign that I am gone, don’t cover them up, show them with honor, a reminder that I loved you more fiercely than I thought I could. Thank you for making these last 571 days the most amazing that I could ever imagine. Thank you for loving me, thank you for changing my life. You deserved more than 572 days, we deserved a lifetime, years, decades. But you never let that deter you, you never backed away and you never let me not feel loved. I love you, I will never stop loving you. So please move on, find someone to help you, travel the world and love with your whole heart, feel the dirt on your feet, crush snow in your hands, and watch flowers bloom. I love you, please don’t stop loving me.

Love always,

Your Doll

It was supposed to be you, you always thought it would be you, you thought you would leave Bucky, not the other way around. You sob until you pass out, heart breaking all over again.

Days without Bucky: 9

Today is the funeral, you pull yourself out of bed wearing his sweater, you haven’t left the bed since you got back from the hospital, Sam coming over and bugging you to eat, nurses hooking up your treatments despite the fact that you don’t want to live in this world without Bucky.

It's a beautiful service, not that you are paying attention. Your head hurts and you have cried nonstop since you got here. Putting dirt on his casket as they lower it into the ground, one connected head stone, your name and his, your date of birth and both his date of birth and the day you lost him.

Days without Bucky: 31

The dark flowers on your shoulder have lightened a little, the nurse for hospice notices as she rolls you, your vitals becoming unstable. She holds your hand and brushes the tears off your unconscious face. A smile joining your features as your heart falters and stops. Finally joining your lover in death.

——————————————————————————-

I did

Room: the beloved

Room # 666 lovers to widows

Roommate Bucky Barnes