#adding random tags cuz idek what

[a-smr-things]

Underwater (Peter Parker x Reader)

T/w: Suicidal thoughts, trauma

Read at your own discretion.

This is my first time and I am still developing my fanfic style...so please do forgive any stupid errors on my part.

********************************

If there was one person you hated in Midtown, it was him. Perfect hair, perfect grades and your academic rival, Peter Parker.

But like, seriously, even Flash didn't annoy you as much as Peter did.

And he just had to interrupt you while you were explaining your interpretation of the poem.

What the hell did he know about literature anyway? Science nerd.

It didn't help that both of you were the chairs of the student council.

"MJ," you yelled out as you ran after her.

"Y/n," MJ acknowledged you as she turned to face you, the wind blowing her hair all out of place.

"Do you have any idea where Peter is?" The exasperation was evident in your voice.

This would be the third meeting he had missed in a row. You didn't understand how the hell he had managed to disappear off to nowhere just before the meeting.

Either the guy knew apparition or he was in serious need of a smack to the head.

"Well, guess I will be alone this time as well," you mumbled to yourself as you walked towards the meeting room.

***

"Ow," Peter groaned as he walked away from the scene of crime.

Falling face first onto a garbage bin wasn't part of his bucket list but sometimes you get stuff you never asked for.

He swung over to the rooftop where he had left his backpack. His phone was buzzing off when he got to it.

16 missed calls from Y/n

"Why is she calling me?" He mumbled as he grabbed his backpack to go back home.

"Oh shit," he said when he realized, quickly changing lanes and swinging towards the school.

***

After school student council meetings are nothing to be excited about. It was pretty evident that Peter didn't like them. You weren't especially crazy about the meetings either.

After all, why would anyone want to sit in a room with some bored ass kids who just wanna go home?

As much as you hated Peter, having him in the meeting did take off some of the burden from you and you would rather he be present. But, no! The guy was apparently continuing his "Let me ditch on the meeting" ritual again.

"Y/n, did you bring the agenda for the segment about lack of sports equipment?" The representative of the football team asked you as you sat at the desk.

"Ah shit, of course Peter had to be in charge of it. Wait, let me go get it from his shelf." You said hurriedly, walking out of the door.

"Thank God Miss Martins asked us to put the files in her staffroom shelf, else I'd be doomed," you thought as you took the shortcut by the swimming pool to reach the staff room.

"Fuck." The tiles beside the swimming pool were slippery and you weren't being careful when it happened.

It was all so sudden.

Water rushed into your mouth and ears as you sank deeper into the pool.

Panic set in and you knew you had to save yourself but a cold yet somewhat warm and tingly numbness settled in your limbs.

Your heart ached and you felt as if someone was squeezing it. The sudden weightlessness mesmerised you.

Your joints felt like lead and your body felt like paper. Your face and chest hurt as you ran out of oxygen...but somehow, it felt good.

You couldn't feel anything but a sense of relief.

You didn't understand where this feeling of satiation was coming from, but it made you feel at ease.

You knew how to swim, but you didn't feel like saving yourself. As your body became oxygen deprived, your struggle increased as you flayed your arms aimlessly in the water.

But somehow you managed to stop yourself from trying to swim to the surface.

An addicting void filled your head as you slowly fell into unconsciousness.

***

Peter ran through the hallway trying to get to the meeting ASAP, cuz no matter how much he hated working with you, he was responsible.

Sure, he did forget about the previous two meetings but being a superhero was hard.

He ran towards the swimming pool corridor to take the shortcut to the meeting room.

He didn't expect his spidey senses to tingle when he passed the deep end of the pool.

He peered into the pool and saw a girl half-floating haphazardly near the floor of the pool.

Without leaving any time for hesitation, he jumped into the pool swimming in to grab the drowning girl.

It was only when he pulled her out of the pool that he saw her face.

"Y/n? Holy shit, Y/n? " He croaked out, rushing to check your breathing.

You weren't breathing.

Peter panicked and checked your pulse only to not feel one. After a moment of confusion and fear, he came back to his senses as he remembered the emergency drill they'd had the previous month.

"Five breaths, then a round of thirty chest compressions, then two breaths and repeat." Peter recited as he laid you on your back He had 911 on call as he started CPR.

He heard a sickening crack but had no other option but to continue. He alternated between thirty compressions and two oral resuscitations like he was taught.

"Wake up, Y/n. Please don't die," he cried as fear, panic and desperation filled his mind.

Her body was cold and her skin was shrivelled up from the water. She didn't look like the prim and proper Y/n he knew.

She looked dead.

Peter was overcome with incomparable relief when she opened her eyes wheezing for air. She wheezed for a while and stared at Peter, looking confused and disoriented.

"Y/n, are you okay? The ambulance is coming, don't worry. You will be fine," he said as he pushed you into the recovery position.

Your consciousness didn't last long. You were in pain and exhaustion.

Peter was on call with his homeroom teacher as you drifted in an out of consciousness.

The ambulance arrived just as Miss Martins reached Peter. She was horrified to see her model student lie unconscious on the wet tiles of the pool, her skin pale and her lips trembling from the cold.

***

You woke up in the hospital with an IV drip and an oxygen mask over your face.

You tried to get up, but the nurse was quick to stop you from doing so.

Soon, people were rushing into your room.

"Mom," you whispered under the mask.

"Baby," she was crying when she sat beside you.

"Wha-," your mom cut you off when you tried to speak.

"Don't strain yourself, you have pneumonia. Take it easy." Your head hurt and your legs ached.

Your throat felt like parchment paper with jelly on it.

"Phlegm and jelly? What a good comparison, Y/n," you thought to yourself.

Slowly, the gravity of the situation weighed in.

You felt like there was a stone in your chest when you remembered how you had let yourself drown.

You didn't try to swim up and save yourself. You had purposefully let yourself drown.

You didn't even know why.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you realised that you had almost killed yourself.

You remembered exactly how you felt underwater. You'd never had these thoughts before.

Why did you do that all of a sudden? Were you suicidal? How could you be? There was nothing wrong with you, you were perfectly fine...Why would you want to die?

The heart-rate monitor went off as you went into a full blown panic attack.

The nurse rushed in, calling for the on-call doctor as she checked your vitals.

Your eyes widened, tears flowing down your face. You wanted to scream but your throat felt like it was clogged shut.

Your hand clamped onto the doctors hand in panic as you fell onto your pillow in exhaustion.

***

"Run, run, run..." You chanted to yourself as you ran through the forest.

You had no idea how you reached there, but somehow you knew that you had to keep running.

You panted as you reached the edge of the forest only to see a huge expanse of rock and a gigantic rock wall in front of you.

You walked over the rocks, your legs shaking from exhaustion. The sun was shining onto you, some of the rays falling onto your eyes giving you a headache.

You fell onto your knees trying to catch your breath.

Suddenly the stone beneath you started rumbling and a loud sound filled the silent atmosphere.

You stood up, afraid and confused. And then it came.

Water rushed from top of the huge rock wall, falling right onto the stone you wear standing.

Your skin hurt, the force of the water bruising it up instantly. Suddenly, you weren't standing on the rock anymore.

The strong current of water swept you off your feet and pushed you along its course.

You tried your best to stay afloat but the current was too strong.

Water rushed around your ears and entered your nose as you struggled to breath.

The water threw your limp body around.

Crack

You woke up screaming, sweat covering your scrubs.

"Y/n, sweetheart, you okay?" Your mother barged in hearing your screams, followed by Peter and MJ.

Seeing Peter, you composed yourself and leant back against the pillow.

"It's nothing. Just a bad dream," You muttered under your breath.

"Honey, I'll wait outside. I have a phone call to make. Meanwhile, you just chat with Peter and Michelle, okay?" Your mom said as she left.

You took a sip out of your water bottle as MJ and Peter made themselves comfortable in the bystander seats.

Your throat still felt clogged up with phlegm, but at least you did not have a fever anymore.

"So, how are you feeling?" Peter spoke awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

"You scared us, Y/n. One minute you are going out to take a file and the next minute you are being wheeled into an ambo. " MJ said, trying to make her voice monotonous and nonchalant but failing miserably.

"Peter found you." She said, directing her gaze at Peter who was doing his best at avoiding your eye contact.

"I know," you replied, not bothering to look at Peter anymore.

"How did you fall?" Peter asked, still not making eye contact.

"I slipped. " You replied but your gaze was directed towards MJ.

"Thank God you're safe. You are taking swimming classes after this, when you recover, period." MJ says, concern leaking through her usually stone-cold behaviour.

"Anyways, Ned says he will be here soon, I'll go get him," Peter said looking up from his phone. As he stood up to leave, MJ beat him to it and said,

"You stay here with Y/n, I'll go get Ned."

What her intentions behind this were, you didn't know.

You just stared at your arms covered in the hospital bedsheets. A cough racked through your body as you hunched over.

You were surprised when Peter sat beside you and rubbed your back as your body was racked by the violent coughs.

"Here, drink it," Peter said handing you the water bottle. You leant back against your pillow, feeling weak and tired.

"So, how did you find me?" You whispered, straining your throat.

"I was taking a shortcut to the meeting room," He said, finally looking at you as he spoke.

"The whole school is talking," he states out of the blue.

"It's kind of a given with what happened. I don't care," you rasped out.

"Peter-," you began to speak but he cut you off.

"If you are going to say thank you, don't. It's not a big deal. Just don't run beside the pool in those shoes again."

" Well, I wasn't going to say thank you and yeah, of course I need you to tell me not to run beside the pool when all this shit has already happened." You retorted, annoyed at how Peter interrupted you.

"Wow, typical Y/n behaviour," Peter scoffed.

"Well, if this is how you are gonna behave towards me then you might as well have let me die," you weren't gonna give up either.

"Is that what you wanted to do? Die? Did you want to kill yourself?"

Damn, he really hit the nail on the head with that one. But you weren't gonna admit to it. After all, it was an accident in the first place.

"Yeah, sure. You run around searching for a file your partner was supposed to bring but then he is an asshole who ditched three meetings in a row and then when you slip and drown, which you wouldn't have had he came in the first place and then he has the audacity to act all therapist hero-" Your rant was cut off as you went into another coughing fit.

"Fuck, shit, shit, it hurts." You said, clutching your side, your eyes watering from the pain.

"I'll go call a nurse," Peter stood up, panic evident in his eyes.

Saving random people in the streets and saving someone you know, whether you like them or not, are two completely different things.

***

Water in your ears.

Water in your mouth.

Water all around you.

Crack. ******************************

A/n: Part 2 scheduled for next week.

[utterxdesires-archived-blog]

RULES: tag seven followers you want to get to know better. repost, don’t reblog. 

TAGGED: @theoldermxses & @ravenousdiaster

NAME/NICKNAME: I go by Sara here, it’s been my alias for a while now. Only one person on here knows my real name HEH  GENDER: female HEIGHT: 5′11 HOGWARTS HOUSE: I’m a ravenpuff  FAVORITE COLOR: red and purple FICTIONAL CHARACTER I’D LIKE AS A SIBLING: dudeeee idek im reading American gods rn and i love Shadow so let it be him?? NUMBER OF BLANKETS I SLEEP WITH: two when its cold, one even in the summer DREAM VACATION: Japan or Mexico WHAT I’M CURRENTLY WEARING: bottom pajama pants and some random oversized shirt cuz its my day OFF HELL YEAH WHAT I POST:  replies, bunch of pics of my muses, inspo posts, ship thingies and lately a lot of ooc stuff DO YOU GET ASKS ON A REGULAR BASIS?: no AESTHETIC:  scented candles, glass of wine, some fresh made pasta and my favorite tv show STAR SIGN: cancer LAST THING GOOGLED: negative and positive traits  FAVORITE MUSIC ARTISTS: not possible to answer, i listen to a lot of artists; lots of rock, pop, stuff like that. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BLOGS: i have a personal one i dont really go to anymore?? I just can’t really handle both indie and that, and anything i need to see or want to reblog i do it here anyway. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL: okay SO; when i first made this blog, it only had female muses, i was convinced i couldn’t go back into the mindset of writing guys again cuz i took a long break from roleplaying. So the first url was naughtysubs, but then i decided to start adding guys so the name didn’t fit anymore?? Because i can’t play submissive guys, and i had to change it fast. I’m bad with names so honestly i picked it so randomly; i often use the word ‘utter’ in my replies and well, this is a smut blog mostly so ‘desires’ followed AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: if i don’t get my eight hours i get pretty cranky lmao, i sleep better now that i’m working, cuz i get tired and i go to bed earlier. LUCKY NUMBER: 7 FAVORITE CHARACTER(S): they are all my babies i can’t pick, don’t even make me. DREAM JOB: I always wanted to work with books, and rn i’m a librarian so its sort of my dream job? But i’d like to get more involved with the organization stuff at the culture center i work for, i’m graduating soon and i’d like to use that knowledge for more than just working at the library.  FOLLOWING: 152

TAGGING: @edensparadisex @urbanesyndicate @dreampopstories @ademonssoul @lostxmarauder @smartxass 

[danwritestuff]

tagged by @sparkiewrites​​ 

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. ...you’d think i know 20 people here buuuut @viirgowrites @rjwrites @allywritestuff @amywriteswords @darklingsea @yonduuude @ashlaaaywrites @proserpinewrites​ 

the last

1. drink: water, i think

2. phone call: with my boyfriend about how my drunken family at a farewell dinner thing is insufferable.

3. text message: think i sent a msg to my friend to have fun at his rp game session?

4. song you listened to: future friends by superfruit

5. time you cried: I cried when I was drunk af and I thought about leaving my bf behind and then how drunk I am.

6. dated someone twice: you mean the same person two times or like was in a relationship with them, broke up and then started dating again? this is very confusing.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: ehhh not really.

8. been cheated on: never? 

9. lost someone special: thankfully not, i’d like to think. but i really fucked up one time and ruined a friendship with someone. 

10. been depressed: um. every single second of existence?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i went to get drinks with my high school friends and we had four different kinds of drinks and i died.

3 favourite colours

12. grey

13. skyblue

14. green

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: surprisingly yes

16. fallen out of love: kinda?

17. laughed until you cried: i rarely do that so no

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really cuz i don’t pay attention to shits like that

19. met someone who changed you: yep.

20. found out who your friends are: idek what that means. like who’s your “real” friends? perhaps?

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list:  technically two of them, i think?

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: except like one or two, most of them. but there are random guy from mexico who added me.

23. do you have any pets: my family lives with two cats, one of whom is sleeping next to me rn.

24. do you want to change your name: eh?? not really?

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to a meeting with my competition team and then had a breakfast for dinner with my boyfriend.

26. what time did you wake up: 6:30 am today... and then after brief nap in the car, around 5 pm i think?

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing mobile game and talking to bf.

28. name something you can’t wait for: sweet release of death? being financially independent?

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like, an hour ago, at living room.

31. what are you listening to right now:  future friends by superfruit

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhh......... i don’t think so.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: virtually everything... but if i have to pick, bigotry, arrogance, myself, little noises when i try to sleep.

34. most visited website: tumblr and youtube, prob. 

35. hair colour: black, mostly, but in some lights it looks dark brown i think?

36. long or short hair: short. can’t stand long hair.

37. do you have a crush on someone: does my bf count?

38. what do you like about yourself: i’m a cat person.

39. piercings: nah dude

40. blood type: AB?

41. nickname: Dan (technically a nickname cuz it’s an English name i picked), Danny boy (obviously) Danio, Dan the man, DanDan, DJ... stuff like that.

42. relationship status: taken... not for long tho?

43. zodiac: aquarius

44. pronouns: he/him

45. favourite tv show: can’t really list it all here but rn i’m watching Killjoys, Archer and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Also love Friends, Scrubs, Justified, Elementary, Jane the Virgin

46. tattoos: I WANT ONE OR TEN

47. right or left handed: right, but for some stuff i prefer left for some weird reason. i can also write on my left hand, kinda

48. surgery: a lot

50. sport: i don’t understand the question. is video game a sport?

51. vacation: i went to a fancy camp stuff (the tent had an A/C) with my lgbt group folks last week.

52. pair of trainers: uh........ idt you mean two gym trainers or like... pokemon, so i’m just gonna skip.

53. eating: what does this question even mean? i eat when i’m hungry, but i think it can be annoying

54. drinking: coffee?

55. I’m about to: probably should sleep.

56. waiting for: death

57. want: financial independence, master’s (and hopefully doctor’s) degree

58. get married: sure? don’t think how that’s gonna be possible but

59. career: i’m trying to be a human rights law scholar/activist. maybe a professor too?

This or That

60. hugs or kisses: ew hugs. kiss if we’re gonna have sex?

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: i don’t mind age

64. nice arms or nice stomach: i... honestly don’t know. what does “nice stomach” even mean cuz like, you mean good digestive system? 

65. hookup or relationship: both

66. troublemaker or hesitant: idt those two are mutually exclusive... but hesitant i guess

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: well... are they strangers if you hook up with them

68. drank hard liquor: sadly i have

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: um. once a year or so. last time it was cuz my bf ate it.

70. turned someone down: i don’t have a standard but like... sometimes it’s just weird.

71. sex on the first date: most of the time, actually.

73. had your heart broken: you mean living?

74. been arrested: nah i’m a law abiding citizen

75. cried when someone died: i’ve never had someone closed to me passing away.

76. fallen for a friend: sadly, yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: nah.

78. miracles: i don’t like to rely on them, so no.

79. love at first sight: nah, but you can be attracted to someone at first sight.

80. santa claus: nah. not since like 10?

81. kiss on the first date: um... it happens so i guess i believe in its existence?

82. angels: nah.

OTHER:

84. eye colour: dark brown. it looks like black i think.

85. favourite movie: not much of a movie person... i enjoyed Freier Fall.