#adding her to my nsb world so i can see her all the time

[hdmiports]

finally got my new charger so to celebrate i downloaded a bunch of new shit and then immediately made a new sim that i fell in love with <3

wcif friendly :)

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 86: Heart to Heart

Luigi desperately wanted to explain that his poor reaction to fatherhood was no reflection of his love for Noemi, but he hardly knew how to begin.

“I’ve always known that I had to be a father someday, but for just as long I’ve wrestled with a subtle dread of having children. I don’t really know why. Best I can figure is that I feel I can’t possibly live up to my memories of Papa Jack, and yet I can’t bear not to do better than him.”

With a dry chuckle that was halfway to a sob he continued. “He was the best parent a sim could ask for, attentive, loving, and kind to a fault, but he left me at an age when I needed him most. I was the center of Papa’s world, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready to give a kid that same level of attention and devotion. I know I’m going to let them down, and at the same time I can’t stand the idea of letting them down.”

Noemi nodded in understanding. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard Luigi wax lyrical about how wonderful his papa Jack had been. She doubted any flesh and blood sim, even Jack himself, could live up to the mythical ideal Luigi had formed in his head of the beloved parent he’d lost as a child.

She knew saying that wouldn’t help, so instead she tried a different angle. “Luigi, parenthood doesn’t have to mean giving up your own dreams. Sure, we’ll have less time for ourselves, but my parents did a fine job with me while still enjoying their own hobbies and interests.”

“Being a good parent can take many forms, its not “all or nothing” or “one size fits all””.

When Luigi’s tortured expression barely shifted Noemi felt a hard lump begin to form in her throat. Her parents had divorced when she was still an infant. She knew that it didn’t take two sims to raise a baby and as much as it killed her to put it out there, he needed to know he had a choice.

Taking a deep breath, she voiced her own deep-seated fear. Turning to look her lover full in the face, she stared into his eyes and flatly said “I want you by my side in this, to be a part of your child's life, but you don’t have to be. If you aren’t ready to face fatherhood, I won’t try to make you stay.”

Noemi’s words wrenched at Luigi’s heart. “No!” he replied instantly, horrified. He reached out to her, trying to explain.

“Even if I could be an absentee father, and to be clear that’s NOT an option… there’s no way I’d let you go through this alone. I NEVER want to spend another day apart from you. I love you, and honestly, I think I’ve loved you from the day we first met.”

Back on firmer emotional ground now, he gave her a warm smile. “You and our baby are stuck with me, even if I end up being the worst father in history!”

Happy tears stung Nomei’s eyes as relief flooded through her. She crawled into Luigi’s welcoming embrace and whispered, “I love you too.”

“You know”, she added, “You’re hardly the first sim to struggle with the prospect of an unexpected pregnancy. There’s got to be tons of advice on the topic, and if you really want powerful results, I’ve always found talking to a professional to be worth every minute. We could even go together.”

Luigi had never tried therapy, but he had heard good things. Picking and seeing a specialist was the kind of simple and practical action he could face easily. The exhausted couple finalized their plan to find a provider first thing in the morning and headed to bed.

As they drifted off to sleep, clinging tightly to one another, each silently thought how glad they were to be facing the future together, as a team.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[actualbird]

i've been really curious to ask you about what's your opinion or idea about luke's sudden behavior change or Raven'? do you think it's just a facade he puts on to bear with his unique type of work or there's something more to it? (also i apologize if you've answered this before)

oh i adore this question!! i think i answered something similar to it but it was like way waaaaaaaayy back, so no worries, i cant even remember my response before...

anyhoo, i personally think Raven mode is a mix of:

something he had to create and don to get through the NSB and his work there

a completely real facet of himself and an inextricable part of who he is

some dissociation here and there

1 is easiest to explain because in a way, it's how i see Raven starting in the first place.

everybody has different sides to themselves, with some sides being specifically created for specific environments or to interact with certain people. like, how i act and behave at work is definitely different from how i act and behave online and it's also different from how i act and behave with friends or family. all still me, just a me thats more suited for a specific thing. i think thats how the Raven persona started out, another side of himself that luke created for a specific purpose, but under Much more extreme and intense circumstances.

Raven is luke's worksona, but his work regularly sees combat, danger, conflict, high stakes, life-or-death scenarios, and more. the previous sides of luke that he had were just not gonna cut it in this kind of environment. additionally, it was mentioned in SSR Peaceful Place that luke was younger than most trainees at the NSB, and i think that added to luke's need to construct and grow a side of himself that could weather all this. one that was the opposite of the kind bushy-tailed boy-next-door type he usually was. something stronger, colder, and more intimidating that could help him prove himself, help him keep up with everybody else, and then allow him go further and surpass everyone completely.

now 2 is where things get more speculative. i dont think Raven is a facade because i dont think it's fake.

i think it's real and part of who he is, and the biggest reason i think this is because of his route in the lost gold event

(.....take a shot every time i bring up lost gold on this blog kjhvHSVKDFHVDS)

im talking about luke's worry throughout his entire lost gold route about mc seeing how he gets when hes in Raven mode. how he sent her away so that she wouldnt see him threatening that dude, how he looked so regretful when she finally did witness Raven in action, how he was so worried and emphasized how he wants to be the type of luke that she likes when hes around her, not this side of himself thats cruel and cold and ruthless.

point is, through all of that, he was scared.

if it was a facade, just a fake mask, i dont think his anxiety over the whole thing wouldve been as pronounced. he couldve just said "hey im going to intimidate this guy", which he might still think would be worrying or upsetting to see, but it wouldnt be the end of the world. but his route didnt play out like that. this recurring anxiety over mc seeing an darker side of him (and the resulting resolution of mc still accepting and loving him in spite of that dark side) works best under the assumption that this dark side is him. a different part, yes, but still wholly and completely a true facet of luke pearce.

and it would make sense for Raven to be real. even if luke is a very warm and sunshiney person, he's also a person who has now experienced a lot of horrifying things. i wouldnt say hes jaded, but it would be a natural reaction to seeing the darkness of the world to also grow cynicism and skepticism from whence Raven can draw from. additionally, while Raven is primarily a soldier, the intent behind him is still ultimately a desire to protect people, and luke has a LOT of protective urges inside of him. the bedrock is there, it just needed extreme circumstances to be 'dressed up', so to speak, into the cold Raven persona we see in canon.

plus, the Raven side of him being a real part of him is....simply more interesting to me. luke is somebody who has a very strong devotion to people and the causes he believes in, but his methods to serve those things can go into grey areas because of the ferocity and cruelness that Raven is capable of. but luke is also somebody who has such a big existential worry and desire to Be Good, and him having a Real part of him that many would designate as Bad makes for a more interesting kind of internal conflict.

and internal conflict is also something important to Raven, because of...

the last bit, 3, how i like to think that the Raven mode has some flavors of dissociation (heads up, this is now past speculation and more well into the realm of headcanon HAHA)

dissociation is when somebody feels disconnected from what they are experiencing, thinking, or feeling and/or feeling disconnected from the environment or reality around them, and repeated/regular experiences of this to an unhealthy degree can be caused by traumatic incidents and...

those definitions are VERY MUCH SIMPLIFIED AND THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, and if you'd like to know more i highly recommend you read up more on it yourself!

...and luke has definitely been through Quite a lot of trauma. parents dying when he was a child + getting himself caught up in cutthroat government organization when he was just a teenager + the disastrous mission that killed everybody but him and definitely left him with survivor's guilt + his illness = thats a lot of trauma! three out of those four i mentioned happening during his NSB days in particular, happening while the Raven side was most likely being created.

when a person is constantly going through stressful and traumatic stuff like that, theres a possibility that they can dissociate. mentally disconnecting from the thing that is causing the distress, after all, feels safer. and Raven is a much stronger and powerful side of luke that exists that luke can reach for and become when things get Too Much.

i dont think luke is dissociating Every Time he goes Raven mode, but again, it's really interesting to think about actually happening (whether in already-happened canon moments or in future possibilities). it'd add more messiness and stakes to his internal conflict of wanting to be good but having a part of him thats 'bad', that sometimes the good sides of him cannot cope or handle certain situations, causing a disconnected feeling and once hes more back into his brain he'll realize that he just went on a chillingly effective rampage or something. it's also interesting to think about in terms of how shifts back from Raven mode, where maybe after particularly high stakes missions he just....hasnt shaken off the adrenaline yet. he still doesnt feel safe, it doesnt feel like the job is done, his demeanor is still silent and cold and serious, bracing for another attack or danger, and the side of him that logically knows that there is no more danger simply feels too far away right now for him to immediately decompress. luke's fear of this part of himself would pack more punch if there was an aspect of it that he cant particularly control just yet.

so yeah, those r my thoughts! thank you for the ask! :D