#addiction at this point quite honestly. no wonder my dad went bonkers over me ever drinking
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crazy how i self medicate with alcohol to numb my feelings but it just makes it worse unless im absolutely blackout drunk. like man i dont need to be pondering the grief right fucking now let me enjoy a few beers. oh well at least physically i feel awesome
#i need to stop sayingyes when my brother offers me ANYTHING.#addiction at this point quite honestly. no wonder my dad went bonkers over me ever drinking#he was an alcoholic and then a dry alc. weed and chainsmoking was the only thing that kept him sane#and cheating on my mother and abusing people but thats another story.#point is i definitely have the gene for addiction. and since i was maybe 11 ive been doing Something.#i just thought i had it under control until recently#i absolutely dont. lmfao. im dying by 30#whatever man
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