#added the last quote of the book because i am still in mourning over the first two posts being stuck in my dead account

[dazaiconfused]

Pet Shop Boys versus America - EVERY chronological IMAGE

Part 3 out of 3 (fucking finally)

“At times, when writing about the Pet Shop Boys, it can feel as though much of what you want to write is already written at the moment it happened in real time in front of you.”

(Photographs by Pennie Smith)

[dailyaudiobible]

08/12/2020 DAB Transcript

Nehemiah 3:15-5:13, 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, Psalms 32:1-11, Proverbs 21:5-7

Today is the 12th day of August welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is great to be here with you today as we move our way through the center of the week get ready for the back half. And we are continuing our journey through the book of Nehemiah that we have found ourselves in. And there's much for us to learn from that book as well as the letter to the Corinthians, first Corinthians that we’re reading. So, let’s dive in and take the next step forward, which is Nehemiah chapter 3 verse 15 through 5 verse 13 today.

Commentary:

Okay. I want to spend some time talking about what we read in Nehemiah today because Nehemiah is just so helpful for us as we discern a calling and a direction and counting the cost and just trying to follow the will of the Lord as we understand where we’re to go and what we’re to do. And, so, I don’t want to miss that. But I want to second to just kind of catch us up in first Corinthians. We kind of passed this section today about, you know, whether you should get married or whether you should not get married or how you should stay how you are however that is and it causes this confusion where people, “like should I be pursuing a spouse? Should I…should my passions all be put into…into the things of the Lord? What should I do?” Because here it is in first Corinthians. And this brings up like a contextualization thing that we find in these letters. And it gets a little prickly, right? Because this is the word of God. And, so, we read this, and we go like, “this is the word of God for all time. And, so, it's got have some sort of meaning now that it had then.” And, so, if you start discussing, “what…what…what…what might that be?” Well that's when you get into this territory where…where you get people kind of making accusations like, “you’re just trying to make the Bible say whatever you want the Bible to say and you’re just trying to water down the word of God and…and…and my experience among scholarship, that's really not the case at all. People are looking for the essence of what was trying to be communicated in context. And, so, when Paul says today like now, concerning the betrothed, so those engaged to be married. I don’t have a command from the Lord but I’m telling you what I think. I think that in view of the present distress, which is what they were going through at that time in the world, specifically in the region of the city of Corinth, where this church and these people were although all of these letters were passed around other churches. So, we can we say at this time, this present distress that he's talking about. It's good for person to remain as he is. So, if you’re married don't try to not be married in. And if you’re free then don't try to get married. But if you do it's not a sin. It's just that it's gonna introduce all kinds of worldly problems that you have to deal with in your marriage instead of being able to focus wholeheartedly on God or just to quote Paul, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about the worldly things, how to please his wife.” And then he goes on to say the reverse that the woman is in the same boat, basically. And, you know, I read is, and I’ve read this, you know…I don’t know… most my life, “the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord and how to please the Lord.” I used to read and think, that's not what. I'm anxious about the opposite sex. That's what I'm anxious about. Because the natural order of things id for us to come together, reproduce and create the next coming generation. Like this is biological, this is spiritual, and this is reality. So, how is it that Paul is saying, “just however you are right now, just stay that way.” It's because Paul's conviction, and it's not just Paul's conviction, like it's…it's a large part of the conviction in the letters in the New Testament. The conviction is that the world is passing away. In fact, let me just quote Paul. He says, “this is what I mean brothers. The appointed time has grown very short. From now on let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn, as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.” That last sentence is the key one, “for the present form of this world is passing away.” And we could say, even though we are a couple of thousand years in the future from this letter, we still believe that trajectory. “The present form of this world is passing away.” That is our eschatological view, like that this is all going somewhere and what we now know is passing away, but something new will be reborn, right? And, so, it's like, that's why we watch the signs of the times. And that's why we, every generation from that generation to this generation thinks this is the last one. The signs are all lining up. This is the end of it all. This is the big one. Paul thought that but not in the distant future, like imminently. This is one of the things that drove the church forward in its early inception, the imminent arrival of the return of Jesus Christ and the establishment of the kingdom of God. And like I said, like generation after generation forward all the way until today continues to have that thread of urgency because it's all throughout the New Testament since they believed this was in imminent thing. Then when we read it we are also in the same place. This is an imminent thing which leads us to live our lives accordingly which is appropriate, like with an urgency that there is something going on that we are a part of, and we are carrying that story forward and we may be in this transitional moment. Like, we should live accordingly. That's living awake and aware. But I don't think it's like in any way sacrilegious or anything disrespectful at all to say what Paul thought about this imminent transition and what the earlier…early church writers, early things that we read in the New Testament, what they thought was imminent wasn't. I mean we’re 2000 years from there. They have all passed on. They are all restored ad whole in God, but this story has continued forward. So, when we read some of these ethical things and this advice that Paul is giving along the way, not just right here, this isn't just the only instance, it’s all throughout the letters. So, when we come across these things where we’re like, “how would that work? Like how…how…how do I live into that? How do I do that?” Let's first understand they were trying to figure that out too. They were trying to figure it out against a backdrop in which this transition, this return, this reemergence of Jesus was going to happen any second. And, so, Paul gives advice accordingly. This is what he thinks. And, so, yeah, if that's the case, if the return of Jesus is imminent, like any day...and I know this gets a little sideways because…because we read the New Testament and then we enter into that same story – any day, maybe today, hopefully today. And I feel that…like hopefully today. But we have 2000 years of history to say, “okay. It wasn't like in the next month. It wasn't even in like the next year. And what they…they thought they thought. And it's not disrespectful to say that what they thought wasn't exactly accurately right. We’re still here and it's 2000 years later. So, that's a fact that's not, like just disrespectful. And, so, having context for what they were thinking and what they were trying to press into helps us define that place in our own lives to press into. But like suggesting that you shouldn't be married you should stay how you are, like you shouldn't…you should pretend like nothing's going on, like you're not mourning if you are, you’re not sad if you are, you’re not rejoicing...if you’re rejoicing…like you’re just trying to focus here on the immediate task at hand then reading it 2000 years later can be confusing because it's like, “okay I don't know exactly what…how I'm supposed to be aimed. And, so, I'm pulled in all kinds of different directions because I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.” So, what I've learned and what I'll point out as we continue through our year and as long as I am able to continue to do this however many more years into the future, but what I have learned as a student of the Bible as a student of our faith is that context actually matters a lot trying to peel back the layers over thousands of years of time. And, so, my motives for saying what I’m saying today have nothing to do with like trying to make a theological statement or create some sort of theological position. I’m like completely devoid of that at this point. I'm trying to say context matters when we try to do that work. And as we pass this specific section of first Corinthians where Paul’s saying, “like the whole thing is coming down. Like the whole thing is about to blow up, the end is upon us.” Well then, his advice is strong, true, and absolutely good but like just from a logical perspective, we would have to say if people stopped getting married, for the most part, in order to live and what Paul is saying, then by now 2000 years in the future the faith would not have flourished around the world, it would have died out because people stopped having kids because they stopped coming together in union and the union of marriage. So, you see, context matters. And that was an awful lot of words to say context matters but context matters. And that's why we look at the context of things as we navigate.

And, so…and, so, now to Nehemiah. So, Nehemiah just helps us understand that there is a process when there is a calling and there are steps that need to be taken as…as we continue to try to live into what we feel like God is leading us to do. And when we watch Nehemiah we see a person acting in collaboration with wisdom really, So, Nehemiah has gotten to Jerusalem, he has cast the vision, the people have caught the vision, they have gotten on board, they are building this wall, which was the dream. This was the thing that Nehemiah wanted to come from Persia all the way back to Jerusalem to do, to protect God's temple with a wall. And the building of this wall is happening faster than anybody would have suspected. It's…it's actually happening. And, so, when we have prayed and planned and sought God and launched that's what we would hope for is that things go faster than we even planned. But it…it's like the idea that everything's gonna downhill and we’re just going to be coasting into this new destiny that God’s dropped into our lap is unrealistic. Nehemiah faced all kinds of opposition in our reading today alone. So first was the…the…the outside voices of ridicule. Like, I'm quoting this out of Nehemiah. “What are these feeble Jews doing? Will they restore it for themselves? Will they sacrifice? Will they finish up in a day? Will they revive the stones out of the heaps of rubbish and burned ones at that? Even if fox goes upon it it'll break down their stone wall”, right? The voice of discouraging ridicule. So, like, when we’ve launched into something and our heart is in it, like we are working tirelessly and all of the risk that's involved, our heart is invested, and then those of voices of ridicule, like “you think you can actually do something that's gonna matter.” When those things come against us that can be the end of the dream. And if we think about it, we can probably confine places in our lives where it has been, like that it was just debilitating and we just couldn't, we lost heart and we couldn't find it. What Nehemiah does in the face of this ridicule is to cry out to God, to cry out to God, to name it, to say, “look at what they’re doing” and then to keep going, to keep moving forward. That's what he did, and the wall was soon half of its height. Like it was all the way around and half of its height. Once that happened, then these voices of ridicule got more serious and threatening. And, so, yeah the psychology of it just kind of gets in your head. Like an army is going to swoop down and destroy us at any moment. All of these threats are coming against them. This wall that was easy to ridicule when it was just a pile of burnt up rocks is now actually becoming a wall and people are starting to see that this is going to happen and so they're trying to intimidate the people to get them to stop building this wall, to come down off that wall and leave it behind. And in our own lives, like man, we reach a point where the dream was awesome but the blood and sweat of trying to make it happen is difficult. And, so, all of these threats that seem to come against us in all kinds of ways can get us off course or to give us…get us to give up completely. What Nehemiah did when he believed that the threats, like he was taking the threats seriously. They weren’t just words of discouragement. This was an actual, intimidating threat. What he did was prepare. Pre…like if you’re gonna attack us, it’s not…you're not attacking an unprepared person or people. We’ll be ready for you. So, if that’s what you’re gonna do you’re not going to just take us out. We’re gonna stand here and oppose you. And, so, he armed everybody along the wall, even cut the workforce in half so that half the people could be on guard and ready while the other half of the people worked kind of one-handed while they had weapons ready as well. And as fast as the first half of the wall went up and things have ground to a slow process now, because everybody can't work without fear and wholehearted…like everybody…everybody's got to be on guard now that can be very discouraging when things begin to slow down. But let's notice that even though things slowed down significantly…significantly in the book of Nehemiah they still moved forward. Like every stone that got laid was one more stone toward completion. Every brick that was put in the wall was one more brick forward. Like even though things have slowed down they were still going forward. And then problems begin to erupt from within the camp. Like this is the next thing that Nehemiah faces today. These people are building the wall, but they have other obligations and taxes to pay and land to maintain and it’s becoming very, very difficult. And, so, some of the more wealthy people are praying upon the more unfortunate people, even to the point of selling their fellow Hebrew brothers and sisters into slavery, a horrible thing. And Nehemiah finds out about this and he doesn't just try to work the back channel of politics so that, you know…so that the behavior can continue but at a…in a different way or at a different rate of what…like he calls the whole thing out into the light. Like he drags this issue into the light and names it and confronts the people doing it. And they are ashamed because they have no defense against it. It is what they're doing. And so often when we are on some sort of mission, man, its when things go sideways within…within the team, right, that…that there are problems in all these kind of back channels and this is where gossip festers. Nehemiah just drug it into the light right away and named it. And, so, in our reading it’s like ridicule, intimidation, threats, trouble from within the camp. These are all obstacles that Nehemiah faced while trying to achieve the dream, the dream that there would be a wall around the city of God, where the temple of God dwelled. And, so, we should, on the one hand, take heart. We’re not the only ones that go through this kind of stuff. This is how it works. But too, we see that however Nehemiah responds, however it is that he…he's doing everything with wisdom, he's doing everything ethically but whatever he does, he's doing it in such a way that forward progress can still happen. Even if it slows to a crawl the thing doesn't stop. It continues forward however it's got to be situated so that it can.

Prayer:

Father, there's a lot to here, there’s a lot here and we invite Your Holy Spirit, as we do every day because it's You who will lead us into all truth. It's You who will guide our steps. It's You that we are depending. In fact You help us to realize how utterly dependent we are upon You when we see the context of the stories in the Bible, when we understand that these are examples and these people all had to wrestle with the same things that we wrestle with as well, that like we’re not just reading the superhero version of the faith where all of these people were just so powerful that they didn't face any kind of challenges. They're not exceptions, they’re examples, examples for us in our own lives. And, so, come Holy Spirit we become aware of You. And as we think about these things today, tomorrow, whenever it is You bring them to mind, however it is, that we are listening and that we are seeing where You are leading. We do need You now more than ever and You are not distant, and You are not unavailable. We are just largely unaware. So, give us eyes to see and ears to hear we pray in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com and I…I…I thank you, can’t thank you enough. The…the reality of a community like ours is it’s here because we're in it together. And, so, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner. If you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you, I do, and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

[evotter]

jan, march, sept + one of your choice, love. have a great day, u icon

thank u kyra i adore u

january: what was the first fic you posted this year?

the first fic i posted this year TECHNICALLY was the epilogue of a different path. the first standalone was chewbacca (aka my introduction to the jily world once again and i have such a soft spot for it)

march: do you listen to music whilst writing? 

yes! pretty much always; if it’s not music, it’s a TV show.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

quite literally anything you’ve left on any of my fics BUT there are a few that i hold dear to my heart. i’ll post them under the cut cause they are LONG :’)

ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?

hahahaaaaaaa. it was my own version of rick riordan’s the son of neptune before the actual book was published. it was on ff.net, and the first chapter got 7 reviews, and i felt so good about myself after that lmfao. who knew i’d still be writing 8 years later?

ask me questions!

OKAY so i have 3 top favorites:

from a different path:

okay so i had seen this in someone else’s bookmarks the other day, thought it was an interesting concept—especially since i too love slytherin!percy and strongly subscribe to ofswordsandpens’ headcanons about it—but didn’t give it another thought until i was listening to a video about the cursed child and went: wait, there’s a percabeth hogwarts au that i saw somewhere. and immediately i hunted this down and i’m just in awe? i tore through it. belatedly, i realized that i made a mistake: i didn’t write down my thoughts as i was reading, which is definitely a disservice to you. however, here are a generalized list of things that i loved.

first of all, with hogwarts au’s, there are three main aspects that i look for: plot, characterization, and quality of writing. normally, fics of this size lack one or more of these key factors, but i was astonished to find that the plot is tremendously tight and intriguing (my lip bled from biting it so much because i’ve been stressed to the max), you write these characters with such distinct voices i can easily picture them saying everything—except, of course, now in a little british accent—and your writing flows so well, it feels almost like i’m reading an actual harry potter book, just with percy and co. you also do a masterful job of weaving together aspects of the pjo universe with the established canon of hp.

and there are so many specific things that i love. primarily, the way you write the relationships in this story; not just concerning percabeth (though i will get to that in a minute), but also with each of the interactions between all of the characters. i applaud you for how you handled luke/annabeth and rachel/percy, and the friendship among them all is just incredibly well done. i especially love how well you wrote connor and zoë and just, a lot of characters that i don’t often think about when i think of pjo. grover and percy’s friendship especially is heartbreaking, i just. he’s so protective because he loves his friends and holy fuck i also love how you wrote grover in this. but i just adored how you wrote annabeth/percy—the love between them, both platonic in its early stages and the romantic all throughout, was doubly apparent. i ached when they kissed each other’s cheeks, and i inwardly cheered when she kissed him in the locker room. there was just such a natural progression, to me, of their relationship. and man did i dig it. i’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to see where you take their relationship in the future.

boy, this is getting long. sorry. but some more just little quick things: loved the b99 reference, with both of their competitive natures playing out in a similar way to jake and amy’s. i kind of want to go back and see if i can find any other references that i missed because i was just too engaged in the story to catch them. also, zoë’s death killed me all over again, thanks for that. i like how you’re working the kronos plot in, and i can’t wait to see how the Final Battle plays out. what else? oh! professor hestia? beautiful. eventual maybe professor percy? outstanding. percy kissing the top of annabeth’s head? breathtaking. rachel being a quidditch commentator? earth shattering. (truly i cackled when i saw that.) mrs. o’leary being a cat? incredible. how you incorporated percy’s water powers? stunning.

ooh, this exchange was beautiful and had me cackling it was so in-character:

“None of us are dying.” Connor clarifies. “Not you, not me, not Annie, not the rest of us.”

“I might have to dispute that.” Annabeth says, from Percy’s other side. “Call me ‘Annie’ one more time, Stoll, and I’ll kill you myself.”

Connor only grins at her. “Sorry, love. No more ‘Annie’. Can I call you Beth?”

“No.”

“Anna?”

“No.”

okay, so i just finished chapter nine and i am blown away. sorry for how long this comment was, but a fic of this magnitude truly warrants it. i can’t wait to see what happens next.

i leave you with just two words: “holy shit.”

from a different path: 

god, oh my god, am i the only dumb bitch who didn’t get what the prophecy was??

anyway, i stumbled on this fic last year, patiently waiting for its completion, and now that i’ve rediscovered it, i’m so glad i finished it all in one go! i couldn’t imagine the tension of waiting for the next chapter, especially since the tension is so well-crafted!! i hardly noticed the tonal shift even as the story got darker and darker as it led up to the war, and in that way i was reminded of how extremely similar it felt to reading the hp books for the first time! you nailed percy very well i might say, and the awkward-yet-caring relationship he has with his dad. i daresay you gave connor and zoe more characterization than rick riordan himself, and the percabeth you wrote is perfect to the nth degree. i appreciate that you didnt bother with all the love triangle and unrequited feelings nonsense as well.

but i have to say, even as i cried at sally and paul’s wedding, or at dionysus’ quiet mourning for castor, what really struck with me most was the way you handled silena. for that, i have no words. that was a job extremely well done. thank you so much for blessing us with this fic.

from chewbacca (a comment from u!): 

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen. Her coat is dripping all over the floor he’d just cleaned (but it’s fine) and when he leans over the counter he sees that her boots match the coat.

First of all!!! Thats the best opening line in the world and nobody can convince me otherwise. I want to become a publisher just so that if you ever write a book, I’d be able to publish it. ( like omg, what an honor??? )

She looks like sunshine, standing there with the amount of yellow in her wardrobe. Briefly, James wonders if that’s her favorite color. It’s got to be.

Im going to quote this whole fic but I really love these lines? Like, you have this distinct style of writiting that I aim to acheive and you’re literally such a rolemodel!!! These are my favorite kind of fics to read. Funny story but I was going through a ‘no thanks Jily’ mood (  a horror, i know !! ) but your fics are just,,,,exceptions? You could write about trash and I’d love it and ask for you to sign me up.

 “Say it again, but convincingly this time.”

ooof this dialogue??? let me breathe

This is the longest he’s stood still since he started working. It’s actually a miracle.

and the funniest person award goes to YOU. also, the most talented and cutest but thats neither here nor there.

james taking care of fleamont, switching off the lights gives me just a nice and realistic vibe? its so simple but i love how you added it.

honestly at this point, ive been sucked again by the fanfic. it feels less like a fic and more like a masterpiece that belongs in a museum but anyway.

“James is supposed to be helping.

James is on his phone.”

ugh i love ur mind. im rereading and its so nice and lovely. even if its like 1am and im exhausted, this fic is sustaining me.

“Do it off the clock, would you?”

PEAK HUMOR

have i mentioned how much i love that scene with euphemia? she seems like such a lovely mom. i love ur euphemia the most. and ahh, both of them just rushing to the hospital ? another 100% good scene.

“Euphemia smiles too, but looks at Fleamont rather than at her son. “Yes,” she says. “It really does.””

fic? or shakspeare? HMMM

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen // “Get fucked.”

the fic!! has made a circle!!! i love how it begins and ends along the same lines. I really want to know how??? are you so talented im in love.

i just really love this fic, okay? i love how james is just the kindest, lily is allowed to have feelings, its just so soft and warm. and it makes someone feel loved, want love anyway.

the dynamic between the characters are just so real and great and im astounded, in short.

your sirius is everything. so many fics potray him as a dick??? which is first of all #rude and also, not at all true. you made me love these characters even more so i sincerely hope you never stop writing.

you’re such a beautiful writer and the way you string words together is just poetic and gorgeous and all the other good adjectives you can think of. i read your spiderman x reader too and i was a goner for you. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO GOOD. i read it so long ago but i can vividly remember peter whipping the mask off and she just going wtf stop on the window ledge. what im trying to say is that you leave this lasting impression on people that make them remember random scenes and words / prose long after they’ve read it which is a remarkable feat, i believe.

and im so sorry im not on tumblr rn bc i cannot keep recing this fic but i have told my friends about your writing and they loved it too. you’ve got like a million fans. when i do get back from my hiatus, im going to keep recing your fics and people will cry because their universe will shift thanks to the newfound joy of your presence in their life.

lastly, im more of a dog person and that, more than anything, should tell you how much i love this fic. i love u. and basee on your writing, i want to hug you, be your best friend and make you cookies bc again

WOW

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 319: Aku Cinta Kamu

I really enjoyed this episode and there were some really great moments, but there were a couple of things that I didn’t like too. I am enjoying dark Clary and the Team Evil dynamic is fun to watch; Sizzy is continuing to develop; Izzy is a weaponry badass; and Magnus is absolutely breaking my heart. Asmodeus is a fantastically complex character, Jack Yang is awesome, and he is one of the best villains.

However, I do wish that they had chosen a different episode title; we all got so excited because we knew (even non-book readers) that Aku Cinta Kamu was a Malec quote so we had high expectations for Malec scenes in this episode. We were disappointed because all the Malec scenes were flashbacks (even if they were amazing ones) and there was barely any Alec at all. I think it would have been better if the episode title had been something like ‘Glorious’ instead.

We begin the episode with Magnus walking alone down a deserted street, we presume that it must be about 5/6am in the morning; 318 took place during one night with the break up being around (I presume) 4am, just before sunrise, so it has probably been about 2 hours since then.

What hurts so much about him walking around New York like this is the fact that it’s because he literally has nowhere to go. He lost his home, he doesn’t want to burden Catarina who is sole guardian of Madzie and he can’t go back to the Institute; he feels so completely alone because there is no one there for him and there is nowhere for him to go.

Despite his loneliness right now he is still completely wary of Asmodeus and his intentions, he knows that Asmodeus only does things for his own gain and he doesn’t want to be around his toxic influence.

Asmodeus gives Magnus his magic back; I know that some people were a little disappointed with how Magnus got his magic back. I completely understand wanting Magnus to have been able to love and accept himself, to see the amazing things about himself without magic before he got it back. For him to have that journey of self discovery and acceptance; to learn something from it. But I also understand how it happened, it was completely Asmodeus using everything he could to manipulate Magnus into a vulnerable and more receptive state; to take his magic which pulled him into depression and then to force away the man he loves in order to leave him vulnerable enough to let Asmodeus back in. It was about getting Magnus into a similar state as he was when he was a child.

Harry’s acting in this moment is impeccable; you can see the happiness and relief on Magnus’ face to have his magic back, to have this part of his identity restored. But that morphs into distrust because he knows that Asmodeus never does anything for free and is scared of the consequences.

I think Asmodeus is a very intriguing character because he does seem to love Magnus in his own twisted way, a possessive kind of love. We have seen this with Lilith, they want that person to love them and only them; it is reinforced with the language they use, they hardly ever use their child’s name instead saying ‘my son’ or ‘my boy’. They refer to them in a possessive way, to call them in the way that refers to their connection to them instead of their name which infers independency.

When Alec arrives back at the Institute Izzy asks if everything is okay because she knows about the deal Asmodeus offered him; you can tell that Alec has fallen into his habit of pushing his emotions to the side and being a soldier. He has closed his emotions off and is concentrating on his job; this is his way of coping because he knows that with everything going on he doesn’t have time to be able to mourn his relationship. Plus, he is trying to avoid feeling the sadness, guilt and utter devastation by concentrating on other things.

I think that Jonathan’s reaction to Jace’s note is very interesting, he wants Clary all to himself and wants Clary to love only him; it is very similar to Lilith and Asmodeus. He wants to be the only person Clary loves and constantly reaffirms his ‘claim’ on her by calling her ‘little sister’ instead of her name, though he does use her name occasionally. This makes sense because this is how he was taught to love.

Magnus sees a couple holding hands which triggers a flashback in which Alec takes Magnus to a place in New York where couple attach locks. I really loved this scene, Alec’s excitement about wanting a lock for him and Magnus; it seems partly because he wants to experience things other couples do and partly because he wants to show Magnus and the world how permanent their love is.

It is a really beautiful moment between the two of them, once again showing us these little moments in their relationship that show just how much they care about each other. My heart breaks when Magnus destroys the lock, it is done out of hurt because they attached that lock as a sign of their eternal love but that promise has been broken; he can’t bear to see this token of love that seems false to him in that moment.

You can see that hurt and anger turn to devastation as the lock disintegrates as he realises not only what he’s done but also that the break up seems even more final. It is a visual representation of what has happened to their relationship.

I have said many times that I don’t like Jordan and explained why so I am not going to go over that again; my issue with this scene is that they kiss. With their past it was just really uncomfortable to watch and I think that them going into kiss and then Maia turning at the last second so he kissed her cheek instead would have not only worked better but would have been less uncomfortable (and maybe upsetting for those who are really affected by this storyline).

I like that Jace seems to be more active in starting conversations with Alec regarding his feelings and his relationship, in previous seasons it has felt very one sided. He is completely confused as to why Magnus and Alec have broken up; especially knowing that Alec was planning to propose. He knows how happy Magnus makes Alec and that they have a strong relationship so he doesn’t understand why this has happened and is trying to get Alec to open up to him.

Alec is trying everything to avoid talking about it, you can see him start to get choked up and upset as the conversation progresses. He can’t afford to let his emotions out right now because if he does he will break; he feels like everyone is depending on his with being the Head of the Institute and the added pressure of getting Clary back.

Jace convinces Clary to let him come with them by using the truth to cover his deception; he uses his true love and dedication to her as a guise. I quite like dark Clary, she is very intriguing and will not allow Jonathan to control her; in fact Jonathan is very deferring to her, and it’s an interesting dynamic.

The flashback of Malec getting ice cream with Madzie was very sweet, and my heart both soared and broke when they starting talking about having kids; inferring that they intended to have a family together one day. We know how much family means to Magnus, the Downworlders he takes in become his family and he will protect them with everything he has. Plus, as far as we understand no one has wanted to have a family with him before, just like no one has wanted to marry him, and you can only imagine how much it meant to him to hear someone say that they saw children in their future.

I really like Raphael, he admits his mistakes and accepts the consequences; it is really nice to see how happy he is now that he is mundane. It also warms my heart to hear about him being able to attend morning Mass and plant flowers on Rosa’s grave.

I understand why he has gone to see Maia, he feels responsible for Heidi, but I am a little confused as to why he hasn’t sought out Magnus. Magnus is like a father to him, they have a strong bond, yet they have had no scenes together this season despite everything that has happened to them.

Simon is scared of needles (I relate) but Izzy distracts him by talking about Superman; I think that this is a very sweet scene for them. Bonding more over these films and Izzy accepting that she is seeing Simon in a different light now, all this time she has seen him as a great friend but now she see’s all the attributes in him that she identifies with (doing whatever it takes to help those you love) and the potential of a romantic relationship.

I saw that some people didn’t like it because of the implied toxic masculinity related to the attractive woman liking nerdy guy with glasses after finding out he’s a superhero; I understand that and it is true of a lot of older films that are steeped in sexism, stereotypes and clichés. 

But, personally, I don’t think the scene itself was problematic; I just think they were using the Superman film to further establish that they are seeing each other in different lights now that they have been spending more time together and seeing these different sides of each other.

Outside the club Jace is trying to get through to Clary by stating how much he loves her, it seems very familiar to how Clary would try to get through to Jace when he was the Owl but it doesn’t work. It seems to me that the Twinning Rune works more like creating a second personality than possession, it’s as if this is who Clary would have been if she had been raised by Valentine. It’s very interesting but I wish we knew for definite more about how the rune worked.

The flashback montage to the song ‘Signals’ by Frey Ridings is heartbreaking because it takes you on a very condensed version of the Malec story which is very emotional; one thing I do wish though is that they had included little moments from scenes we know had been cut, such as the extended balcony scene from 207 or the hug at the end of 212. Plus in the middle of the scene when we see present time Magnus there is a very awkward and unnecessary zoom into his face, really wish they hadn’t done that and just the next time they cut back to him it was a closer shot.

I really like learning more about Magnus and Brother Zachariah’s friendship, I love that to Zachariah this conversation was important enough for him to break his vow of silence. That really shows just how important Magnus is to him.

We get another confirmation that for Magnus Alec is different than everyone he has been in a relationship with before, this has been stated or hinted at several times since they met but unfortunately Alec doesn’t seem to get the memo. Magnus has lived with the memories of the people he loved and lost for centuries but he can’t bear his memories with Alec; this was a person who opened his heart after decades of being closed off, who has shown him unconditional love and acceptance, who has been there for him during his darkest times, who has loved him despite the prejudices of his community and who he saw himself having a family with.

Zachariah refuses to take his memories because he knows Magnus will regret it, no matter how much he is hurting right now Alec is a part of him, has changed him and removing all of that would not help Magnus, it would simply return him to a closed off state and Zachariah doesn’t want that for him.

Maia and Jordan go to the Institute very upset about the fact that the serum has been destroyed, it is understandable because they were hoping that they could have a second chance at a mundane life. You can see Simon’s frustration beginning to mount because they cannot understand how difficult the situation was and how quickly they had to act in order to stop Aldertree and anyone who may have been loyal to him.

He tells them he understands wanting to go back, with everything that he has done and has happened to him he wishes more than anything that he could go back to a mundane life but saving the masses from non-consensual neutralisation was more important. Plus, using the last few vials to stop Jonathan, who is a threat to everyone, is more important than giving them to their friends.

The Bone Chandelier is a great set, Clary’s shocked face that the bones were from Shadowhunters kinda makes me laugh a little because it is no different than how Shadowhunters used to take Downworlder marks as trophies.

I really did not like the scene that follows because Jace is pressured into taking an unknown substance, which we know is probably a hallucinogenic because it’s a Seelie drug; we know that Jonathan is trying to get Jace to slip up so he can prove his disloyalty to Clary but pressuring someone to take drugs is always going to be uncomfortable.

The entire make out scene is really uncomfortable for me because it is non-consensual, in my opinion. Jace is, unwillingly, under the influence of perception altering drugs and you can see that his initial demeanour is confused and slightly resistant; so from Jace’s perspective it is definitely non-consensual. With Clary, she is also under the influence of drugs and she is currently a different person than usual, so we are not sure how much consent she can give in this state (which is why I think the rune needed more explanation). Even her line about Jace being able to say no made me uncomfortable because it was followed with ‘But you won’t’ which implies the lack of ability to refuse.

I feel bad because I know that this was from the books but for me it was so uncomfortable because the situation feels very non-consensual.

I know that the purpose was for Jace to lose concentration and for Jonathan to see the ring, but the hole in that is that Jace should have taken off the ring because he knew he had ingested drugs and I am sure they could have done it in a way that was more consensual. Maybe if it was a less powerful drug, or a non-hallucinogenic, or if Jace seemed more into it, or if Clary’s line was worded differently; I don’t know, but I just don’t like the scene how it is.

I really like that Maia took the time to think about what Simon said, she is a very mature and compassionate person; she knows that she is not the only person whose life has been destroyed by becoming a Downworlder. She knows that she doesn’t deserve it more than anyone else and that to demand it would be wrong. I love Maia so much.

Jordan on the other hand has stolen the vial; I had a gut instinct that he was going to steal it. My only problem is how, the vial was in the room with Izzy and Simon, it is a big vial so is not easy to quickly conceal and how did they not notice it was missing? Anyway, since Jordan heard about the serum he has been single minded in getting his hands on it; to me it seems very selfish in thinking that all his problems started with becoming a werewolf and that by becoming mundane again it fixes that. I may be wrong, we’ll have to wait and see.

I adore Izzy! I loved seeing the weapons master side of her, and seeing the scientist in her these past few episodes; it was amazing to see her create a new Glorious.

The fight scene in the club was well choreographed and it was a good scene; it was nice to see Clary and Jace fighting side by side again too. However, I do think that it was way too easy for Jonathan to grab the Seelie Queen, after all this time of her being built up as this powerful and untouchable character he only needed to take out one knight in less than a minute and grab her. I did see the footage of Luke dislocating his shoulder in this scene though, and that looked really painful.

After they finish fighting the Seelies Clary turns on Jace, she is clearly angry and upset that he has betrayed her trust and is trying to separate her from Jonathan. This moment is a real testimony to just how different Clary is right now, although her conviction to fight for those she cares about (that being Jonathan right now) is very Clary. Again, I just wish we knew more about how the rune worked so that we could understand its influence and Clary’s state right now.

I must say that I laughed out loud at Jace sliding along the Institute floor; it was just so comical even though it wasn’t meant to be. I really feel for Jace because you can see the devastation and almost loss of hope on his face. He can’t recognise the person Clary is right now and in that moment he feels at a loss of how to help; he feels like he has lost her all over again.

I do really feel sympathy for him because he had to suffer through thinking she had died and that he was part of the reason why; then the happiness of getting her back; watching her battle the rune’s influence over her; and now watching her become this completely different person than he knows. She is the first and only person in his life he has loved this much and to keep losing her must be absolutely soul crushing.

Watching Magnus pull his memories of Alec from his mind you can see how much they are torturing him, he cannot bear the loss of him; he loves Alec so much. Also Alec is the first person who thought his eyes were beautiful, knew who his father was and didn’t care, who he told his dark past to and he accepted. Alec has been different in so many ways and he loves him so much; to have Alec walk away from him is tearing him apart.

Asmodeus is the one to stop Magnus from destroying the memories; he wants Magnus to remember the pain that Alec caused him, he wants to use that pain to manipulate Magnus. If Magnus forgets Alec than he will no longer be in an emotionally vulnerable place and it would be much harder for Asmodeus to get back into his life. Magnus is upset and confused as to why Asmodeus is persisting; he knows that Asmodeus never truly cared about him and is trying to remind both of them of that.

Asmodeus tells Magnus to keep the memories to make him stronger and wiser; Magnus keeps the memories I think partially because of what both Zachariah and Asmodeus said, but also because looking at them there is a part of him that can’t let Alec go.

Harry’s acting in this scene is absolutely amazing, especially considering he had nothing to react to; he generated emotion purely from his imagination. He blows me away every time he performs an emotional scene like this, he is always fantastic but these emotional scenes really get me.

Magnus allows Asmodeus to comfort him, this is understandable because he is so upset and vulnerable right now that he needs comfort and support and right now Asmodeus is the only person offering that to him. Asmodeus’ smirk sends shivers down your spine because you know that his intentions are anything but good but he is such a great villain.

I know that some people were disappointed and annoyed that Magnus did not figure out the connection between Alec leaving him and Asmodeus turning up. But Magnus is completely blinded by his emotions right now and can’t think logically; all his feelings from losing his magic and the trauma surrounding that don’t just disappear when he gets it back, it is going to take time to work through those emotions still. Plus, he is swamped with the disbelief, anger, hurt, confusion and devastation of Alec leaving him; which is a continuous onslaught, whirlwind and swinging between anger and hurt with all the flashbacks he is experiencing.

Also, not only did he lose his relationship but he also lost his support system. After losing his magic (his job and his home) Alec has been the only person who has consistently been there to support him, no one else (Catarina, Raphael, Izzy, Simon, Clary, Jace) has made the effort to reach out to him.

The person he loves is gone, his support system, he has nowhere to live; right now the only person in the world who is actively seeking him out to offer support is Asmodeus. He is at his absolutely lowest right now, completely emotionally destroyed and vulnerable; he needs someone now more than ever and the only person there is Asmodeus. It’s no surprise that Magnus takes whatever support and comfort he can get.

Plus, although their relationship ended badly Asmodeus is still his father; he is still the person who took him in when he was a child and had no one else. Asmodeus was the only person who would help him as a child and he is the only person offering him help now.

I know that some people were also wondering why Magnus did not go back to Alec once he regained his magic; the answer is simple, would you? Alec confirmed Magnus’ greatest insecurity by saying that everything that is special about him came from his magic (that spark inside you was out for good). Alec left him when he was at his emotional lowest, saying that Magnus was too much for him to handle; another insecurity of Magnus’, that he is ‘too much’ for people. Why would he go back to someone who doesn’t want him?

To say it in real world terms; if you were very wealthy but suddenly lost everything and then your partner left you, would you call them to come back if you suddenly regained your wealth? No because that person left you when you had nothing, if they don’t deem you worth their time when you have nothing why do they deserve you when you regain everything?

This is why I think that Malec getting back together is going to be complicated and perhaps a bit messy. I do want them to get back together, of course I do, especially with there only being three episodes left (at the moment. #SaveShadowhunters!). But I think that the issues surrounding the break up are too important to just gloss over or forget about.

Even though Alec made the deal for Magnus’ happiness he still made a major life decision without Magnus’ knowledge or consent. They definitely need to have a conversation about this because although Magnus will understand Alec only wanted to make him happy, he still made a huge decision about Magnus’ life for him. Plus, it was a decision that left Magnus feeling at rock bottom, abandoned and unloved when he was at his most vulnerable.

I am not trying to hate on Alec at all, I love him and I understand why he made the deal; he wanted to make Magnus happy and he thought it was the only way to help him. His own insecurities about his importance, both in Magnus’ life and in general, made him believe Magnus would recover from losing him.

Plus, there is the fact that Alec worded the break up to use Magnus’ insecurities against him. This is such a complex situation and the definitely need to talk about it in order to learn, recover and move forward.

I really liked this episode, but I definitely has issues with the Maia/Jordan scene and the Clace makeout.

I loved Izzy being an absolute weaponry badass, the Sizzy bonding and Magnus’ journey was incredibly painful.

In 320, Clary and Jonathan continue their quest to get Morningstar, a battle is coming up in Idris and Asmodeus is definitely planning something. I’m really looking forward to the 3B season finale (I know there is 321 and 322 but this is the 3B finale).

Also, in the promo is looks like Magnus is back in his apartment and it will be interesting to find out how that happens but I hope that it isn’t because of Asmodeus because that will solidify Lorenzo’s belief about Magnus’ power coming from his father.

Plus, it looks like Magnus is attacking Asmodeus; whether this is because he learns about the deal or because of Asmodeus’ plans remains to be seen.

Who’s excited?

[davidsphysicsblog]

Why does it seem that my cellphone is spying on me?

In his seminal book, “The Singularity is Near – When Humans Transcend Biology,” Ray Kurzweil laments the fate of Artificial Intelligence (AI): “An underlying problem with artificial intelligence that I have personally experienced in my forty years of in the area is that as soon as an AI technique works, it is no longer considered AI and is spun off in its own field …” Kurzweil then goes on to give the example of speech recognition – although if you both listen and watch the closed captions to the nightly news, you might wonder how intelligent this recognition is. Still that point has stuck with me since I first read The Singularity is Near, when it first came out in 2005.

Well, friends there is no longer any denying the existence of AI in our lives. We have moved beyond what has been referred to as the “Dark Age of AI.”We’ve got everything from intelligent toaster ovens to self-driving automobiles. Recently, I saw, with a shutter, a news clip about self-driving eighteen wheelers. Yikes, I thought. But then I considered how many people have been wiped out by drowsy truck drivers. Which is better, which is worse?

Now, I am a great proponent of futurism. More importantly, I recognize that there is no denying technology, any more than there is denying climate change. There are good reasons to fear it, especially if your job is in jeopardy. Ultimately all our jobs are in jeopardy. But there is no stopping it. Technology always outruns its own ethical basis.  It has no morality. It just is. And the Luddites, who in the early nineteenth century rose up and destroyed textile machinery because they feared it would take away their means of employment are now reduced merely to a fancy word and a footnote. As I type this AI programs “spellcheck” me and “autocorrect” my grammar. Both of those words exist in the language only because of the AI revolution.  So, they are taking over our language as well.

There is also the nostalgia factor. My IPad and my Kindle do not feel or smell like a book. I so love these tactile and olfactory experiences. But the fact is that my whole library, which is voluminous, could easily fit in digital form on my computer devices, and I read at least three times faster electronically than on paper. Although one might ask, what the rush is? Ultimately, where this nostalgia is concerned we become like Edward Arlington Robinson’s “Minever Cheevy.”

“Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,

Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;

He wept that he was ever born,

And he had reasons.

 Miniver loved the days of old

When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;

The vision of a warrior bold

Would set him dancing.

 Miniver sighed for what was not,

And dreamed, and rested from his labors;

He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,

And Priam’s neighbors.

 Miniver mourned the ripe renown

That made so many a name so fragrant;

He mourned Romance, now on the town,

And Art, a vagrant.

 Miniver loved the Medici,

Albeit he had never seen one;

He would have sinned incessantly

Could he have been one.

 Miniver cursed the commonplace

And eyed a khaki suit with loathing;

He missed the mediæval grace

Of iron clothing.

 Miniver scorned the gold he sought,

But sore annoyed was he without it;

Miniver thought, and thought, and thought,

And thought about it.

 Miniver Cheevy, born too late,

Scratched his head and kept on thinking;

Miniver coughed, and called it fate,

And kept on drinking.”

 Isn’t it wonderful how all I needed to do was to type “Minever Cheevy” into my search engine, a form of AI and the whole text, which I first read on paper in high school pops up? This is but the first stage in the development of Kurzweil’s bionic man-machine.

And as I was typing the last, my cellphone dinged with the message from Bloomberg News that:

“Medical apps have made it easier than ever for doctors to treat people without ever seeing them in person.”

Is this getting just a bit spooky?

Which brings me to what I really wanted to discuss. I recently read Michael Chertoff’s “Exploding Data: Reclaiming Our Cyber Security in the Digital Age.” This book describes the megadata on each of us, which seems merely a collection of useless facts. Where we were every minute of the day, what we bought, what we ate, what we spent, and on and on. It is not the individual facts that are significant, but the Gestalt, that ultimately presents the threat, not just to individual privacy an liberty, but to national and world security.

Allow me to quote the ninth amendment to the United States Constitution. Yes, Republican friends there is more than the second amendment, which protects the right of madmen to buy assault rifles. But the little ninth amendment says merely:

“The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.”

This is your right to privacy, people! The government does not belong in your workplace, in your home, or in your bedroom, for instance. And when we allow ourselves to be monitored 24-7, we give up that right, in part or in total.

And on the security side. Connect your home to the internet with devices such as smart electric meters for instance, where “the bad guys” have implanted administrative codes in the chips they made for us and we bought because they are cheap, and they can shut down our power grids.

In 2004, yes fifteen years ago, the Israeli military assassinated Sheik Ahmed Yassin, the spiritual leader and founder of the militant Palestinian group Hamas, by landing a smart missile in the lap of the wheelchair-bound Sheik Yassin. I am not suggesting that you have anything to fear from the fact that your own iPhone is tracking your whereabouts in real-time.

What has freaked me out was an IM session that I was having with a friend on my IPhone to set up a time to meet for coffee. When we had settled as to time and place, I went to add it to my calendar, hit the add button, and there it was Name of Person, Name of place, and time all neatly pre-entered for me. Starting with OS 10.0, we are now up to OS 12.2, the operating system has AI algorithms that search your texts and emails in this way. For convenience, right? I’m sorry it seems not so much as helpful as creepy and an invasion of privacy.

I am reminded of a second poem. This by W. H. Auden and called “To the Unknown Citizen.” Perhaps we might modernize the title to “To the Unknown Citizen and his Megadata.”

(To JS/07 M 378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be

One against whom there was no official complaint,

And all the reports on his conduct agree

That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a

saint,

For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.

Except for the War till the day he retired

He worked in a factory and never got fired,

But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.

Yet he wasn’t a scab or odd in his views,

For his Union reports that he paid his dues,

(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)

And our Social Psychology workers found

That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.

The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day

And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.

Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,

And his Health-card shows he was A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.

Our researchers into Public Opinion are content

That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;

When there was peace, he was for peace:  when there was war, he went.

He was married and once in hospital but left it cured.

Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare

He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan

And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,

added five children to the population,

Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his

generation.

And our teachers report that he never interfered with their

education.

Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd: e heard.

I feel a need to return photographically to a simpler time, to turn back the clock to the Willoughby of Twilight Zone fame, to a more mechanical time. The time of carburetors, now replaced by AI chips called injection systems.

(c) DE Wolf 2019.

[chronicbatfictioner]

A Real Boy - Chapter 6

Bruce Wayne was everything the media portrayed - and none of it. In the media, he was a dork - and that was Tim's conscience being nice. He would bumble his way through an interview while tripping over his own feet and laughed a little too loudly and too cheerfully for someone who was supposed to be in eternal mourning. Yet in the realm of his own house, under the gentle lighting and fading sunlight streaming into the kitchen nook that they were going to have tea at, he looked large and imposing and dark. Tim could feel the hair on his nape stood on end.

"Bruce! Look who got in!" Dick announced cheerfully, as Zitka huffed a little on his side. Bruce looked up from the large tablet he was holding, and Tim had to school his own thought to not think of this man as someone who would eliminate evil supernatural beings for fun and that he shouldn't be counted as evil. And by 'he' Tim meant himself. Nope, he's not. Tim was just a kid. Surely Bruce wouldn't think of him as a threat?

When he spoke, Tim was floored.

"Ah, the Boy Who Lives." he said in booming baritone, nary a hint of the high-pitched, vapid playboy persona he would display for the media.

Tim's eye-roll was involuntary, but Dick caught it and laughed. Even Jason was snickering at him.

"Really, Mr Wayne, of all the things you could call me..." Tim groaned.

"What? Dick made me watch the movies and then read the books - 'as reference,' he said." Bruce said. "And call me Bruce, please. 'Mr Wayne' made me sound old."

"You are," Tim blurted, and quickly added, "...older than I am, frankly. I mean it's just a sign of respect to call you mister and all. And my parents taught me manners and they're useful in the boardrooms and whatnot. But some people just..."

"Tim, breathe." Jason said. Tim breathed. "He's not gonna like, unsheathe a sword and lop your head off. So chill."

"Yes, I'm not gonna do any of those. First of all, I have no sword in my present right now. And foremost, Alfred does not appreciate bloodstains on his good China." Bruce pointed out. "Have a seat, both of you, please, indulge! It's rare that Dick and I have company during tea time!" he gestured toward the set of chairs across him. His eyes might not have focused solely on either of them, yet Tim realized that from where he sat, he could have seen the entirety of the kitchen from the indoor entrance to the backdoor exit. The large window next to him would have given him a good vantage point of the backyard.

A standard for warlocks, really. They would sit in a place where they could see threat coming in - from whatever form of threat. The house was heavily hexed and protected with a plethora of spells that would render any stranger uncomfortable - this Tim could feel right away, and the changes thereof once Alfred mentioned about adjusting it.

And somehow, it warmed his heart a little when he realized that Alfred was so willing to lower the house's defenses especially for him and Jason. Alfred was also manually pouring tea to cups for him and Jason. Whether the old man was humoring Jason, or knew that he could behave like a normal human being, Tim couldn't tell. But he didn't mind. He was certain that Jason, too, didn't mind.

The tea was hot and fragrant, and there were tartlets that Tim indulged happily - it has been a while since he'd eaten anything homemade; and he was quite certain that Alfred would have made the tartlets manually. They drink and ate somewhat a little quietly. Tim noticed that Dick was feeding Zitka chunks of fruit out of a basket, and that Jason was watching them with amusement in his eyes.

"Alright, then. Now that the formalities are done, boys are fed, how can I help you, Timothy?" Bruce asked.

"I..." Tim hesitated and looked at Jason. "Well, Jason brought me some news that he thought I should share with you..."

Bruce's eyes refocused on Jason. "From the Acres of All." he stated, not asked.

"From S'aru." Jason replied. "He's aware of the place I was trained at, and its proprietors. He's just never gotten a chance to go there." he added, telling Tim.

"Oh, okay..." Tim remarked. "Anyway... maybe Jason should reiterate..."

"No, it's your call." Jason sighed. "You should reveal things I've told you on your own discretion. I mean, it's not like you'll want to tell random strangers that you have pink toothbrush, right?"

Tim sent him a death glare as Dick snickered. "I do not have pink toothbrush!"

"Zitka said you looked familiar to her." Dick remarked.

"She did?" Tim perked up. "I mean, wow. I didn't even see her back then..."

"See her?"

"Uh... yeah... I was... I guess I should've told you first and foremost. I was there when... your parents--" Tim stammered, feeling his cheeks started to burn when Dick didn't say anything. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bring up bad memories..."

Dick smiled, "Oh no, I remember you, alright. You took a picture with us before we started the show, didn't you?"

Tim perked up again. "Yes! I mean, my parents and I did. It was..." he swallowed around the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. "...well, the first and last time I went to a circus-- with my parents." he smiled, and knowing well that his smile was lame and forced; a distorted mirror of Dick's cheery smile.

"Sorry that your first ended up badly for you." he said. "But anyway, yeah, I guess you wouldn't have seen Zitka because I haven't earned her, yet. She came to be with me once I moved in with Bruce. It was a little soon, since I was only ten, but--" he shrugged. "Circumstances, you know how it goes. Plus, she was an inheritance from my mom."

"I imagine your warlock ancestors must be squirming in their graves that you brought in a magi-fae kid home..." Jason smirked at Bruce. The latter grinned back.

"I bet they were... lest they have ran out of squirms when my motherjoined the household." Bruce replied. "So, now that we've established our familiarites - no pun intended, Zitka - what was it, then, that brought you to my home?"

Tim inhaled slowly, rearranging the things Jason had told him a few nights ago. "'The rise of the Untitled is coming, and they're heading for Gotham to open the portal of the Underworld and bring forth the elimination of non-magickal beings.'" he quoted.

Bruce and Dick was quiet as they stared at each other, neither paid attention to when Zitka stole a whole apple from the table.

"That's... a heavy premonition." Bruce remarked.

"S'aru doesn't understand embellishment." Jason replied, shrugging. "He's like, the All-Seeing being. Only he's also a lazy bum who doesn't like to move around and too far away from his beloved hookah. Kind of like Alice in Wonderland's Caterpillar, only he doesn't change to butterfly." he told Tim.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know literature is a part of a familiar's training. Or did you pick that up from Tim?" he asked excitedly. Excitedly - to the point where Tim and Jason literally glared at him in confusion.

"Not all familiars - like not all mages - live in the medieval era, Mr. Wayne." Jason retorted. "Some of us enjoyed the outside world's depiction of our world, some even have their own technological stuff, like social media." Tim's head turned so fast toward Jason that his neck cricked. "What? Ever seen those cute or scary cats or other animal accounts on Photogram?"

"Seriously??" Tim and Dick chorused. Tim was almost sure that even Alfred's cool demeanor changed just a tick.

Jason exchanged his glares between the two of them. "Some of them may be the work of a human who has nothing to do than to pretend to be their cats, but some are..." he shrugged nonchalantly. "Anyway, yes, magnificent tea, Mr Pennyworth, since my magi seemed to have forgotten his manners." Jason told Alfred with a big, disarming smile that was almost as bright as Dick's.

"Wow... okay, Zitka, you don't plan to open your own Photogram account, do you?" Dick asked Zitka, who trumpeted softly. "Right, I'm..." Dick turned around to glare blankly at Bruce. "wow, Zitka said he's right. And I'm starting to worry about who my Photogram followers actually are."

"They don't follow anyone but their magi, Grayson... isn't that obvious?" Jason smirked.

"You're not thinking of having a Photogram account, do you?" Tim demanded to Jason. The latter shrugged.

"I don't see the benefit of it just yet. Maybe once you're settled, or my presence is announced or whatever. I'd love my own account to the BookNook, though." Jason beamed at him. Tim had to actually will himself not to gape.

"...You seriously read." he stated.

"Well, then, our library might be... entertaining for you." Bruce quipped, smirking slightly. "Right, Alfred?" On the side, Dick groaned.

"Yes, indeed. Master Richard may only liked written words that can be quickly summarized and preferably read-to for him. You, however, may prefer a physical form that can be..." Alfred suddenly quieted his voice for a moment before continuing. "...that is, if your Magi is alright with it? It is getting quite late, and I do not believe Master Tim's driver's license allowed him to drive at night."

Tim shrugged. "I can drive just fine."

"Yes, but my conscience would not allow me to look away from it," Bruce explained. "Plus, it's Gotham. It's... not safe out there for anyone to be out at night," he added, emphasizing on 'anyone'.

"You know I'm a magi, right?" Tim protested. "and I have my big and strong familiar with me..."

"It's not just the dangers from the real world, Timmers..." Dick intoned. "We... Bruce and I and some of our... allies - we have known that there is something brewing that's dangerous for everyone and everything we held dear. We sure won't wish you to stumble into it accidentally."

"It might help to allow these young men to understand your stance, Master Bruce..." Alfred suggested quietly. Bruce looked at Dick, probably to ask for his opinion.

"I dunno... he's still really young..." Dick sighed.

"As were you, Master Dick..." Alfred reminded. Dick grimaced. Tim thought that they might have had this kind of discussion a few times too many, as Dick opened his mouth to say something, only to be met with Alfred's cold glare and tick of eyebrow, and Dick deflated.

"Fine, fine... tell him." Dick grumbled.

Bruce nodded. "Alright, I hereby cordially ask you both to spend the night, gentlemen. There are... things that I would like to discuss with you that might require time, and as I've said before, I don't like you driving at night. So, will you stay?"

"I don't bring an overnight bag..." Tim still hedged, a little uncomfortable with the offer, in spite of realizing that Bruce had meant well and not likely to... do anything untoward. "It's just... I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. Just that it's kind of weird."

"Oh, I understand. Very well, then. At least stay for dinner, it should be in a few hours. Afterward, you can let me know if you would stay or not." Bruce remarked.

"What are we supposed to do in a few hours?" Tim couldn't resist asking.

"Well," Dick's grin was a little unsettling. "...we can always go play in the dungeons."

That strangely felt like a challenge. And Tim's brain, a millennial brain that never understood that it would be safer to back away from a challenge, overrode his self-preservation instincts and said, "Sounds great!" followed by an inward cringe and a glare toward Jason and a deep suspicion that Jason was the millennial voice agreeing to such mischievous and potentially-dangerous summon.

"Oh no, I did not say you may play in a dungeon! That was on you. I, on the contrary, prefer to roam about in the library!" Jason protested.

"You're not much help as a familiar, are you..." Tim groused.

"I can only do so much for a kid who has no self-preservation instincts, Timmy." Jason replied smugly.

"I do, too, have self-preservation instincts!" Tim protested. Lied.

"Suuure... anyway, if he does a bad touch, feel free to holler." Jason quipped. Dick chortled heartily.

"Oh, man! I think Babs would love you," he told Jason as he got up from the table. "Come on, guys! Let's meet the brain behind all of these magicks!"

[lostinthe-pines-blog]

Fate Doesn’t Write My Stories pt. 2 - A Best Friend

This is a multi-chapter story about MC, and Chris finding their way back together after years of being separated post graduation. Chris’s career takes him to Boston, a city he’d promised was her territory. But it’s not just Chris, fate has seemingly brought the entire Hartfeld crew back together.

NOTE: This is a fictional story based on Pixelberry’s Choices App. *Books The Freshman, The Sophomore, The Junior. I am not affiliated with Pixelberry nor do I own the rights to their original characters.

Tags: @jared2612

Traveling with children was not something Abbie would recommend, but she truly had no choice. Her job at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art was paying for her to fly crossed the country to negotiate a deal with the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. The deal an attempt to partner the coasts and work to display sister exhibitions in the future. The timing could not have been more perfect for Abbie as her best friend was finally returning stateside for a string of concerts along the East Coast. Abbie used this as an excuse to put her entire family on a plane and travel to the historical city. Tyler, finally able to cash in his vacation hours was happy to join knowing he’d be able to watch the twins while Abbie worked.

“You know I saw a post yesterday, I think Chris Powell just moved out to Boston!” Tyler said buckling his three year old twins into their soft plane seats. “Wonder if he even knows about Kaitlyn’s concert?” He looks a cross the aisle of the plane to his curly haired wife. Who smiles back at her small family.

“Maybe the two of you can meet up, I’m sure he’d love to catch up maybe you could invite him to the concert.” she smiles. The pair had drifted the furthest from their friend group after college. Leaving their dramas behind them they wanted to start a new life, and they had. Tyler was a video game designer working for Blizzard Entertainment and he was making a decent salary. More than enough to provide for their twins; both girls, who’d inherited their mothers dark skin but their fathers thick straight hair.  

“I’ll shoot him a message when we land” Tyler added before responding to the cries next to him. The girls were fighting over what movie to watch on the TV in front them. It was no secret that this would indeed be a long flight for the whole family.

-

A familiar patterned knock at the door breaks MC out of her trance. Spending a lot of time in the last 24 hrs staring at walls continuously lost in thought, her stare is finally broken.

“Zack!” she beams rushing to the door and wrapping her arms around him before his bright eyes even had time to focus on her. “Well hey!” he laughs returning her hug feeling tension rising off of her. The pair of them had remained the closest out of the small group of Hartfeld friends. “Good to see you too!” he kisses her cheek. After a long moment she leads him inside. Leaning against the kitchen counter Zack stares at his friend of 8 years as she jumps to sit up on the granite counter top. His heart worries for his friend, her demeanor not as bright as it was on his last visit only months before.

“Aren’t you excited to be stuck with me for the next 6 months?” he winks hoping to return his favorite smile to her face. “I’ve rented a small apartment just down the street!”

MC’s eyes widen and the sweet smile Zack longed to see creeps out. “Explain again what it is that brought you here?”

“A construction project out in Dorchester. Kind of a neighborhood “revamp”” he says using air quotes on his hands “It needed a leading architect and I’m happy to accept it as my first leading gig” he smiles blushing in pride.

“How’s the love life?” MC pushes playfully

“Completely nonexistent” Zack laughs “But it’s a good thing because now I’m open for a Bostonian to come and steal my heart. Maybe I’ll even find a Harvard grad.” Zack finishes dramatically arrogance and mockery in his voice “But enough about me, how is Carter! And you said you got a promotion? Tell me everything!” he inquires noticing instantly the change in her body language.

MC’s face still smiling but her body is closed off “Carter is good” she says simply. Instantly noticing the arch in Zack’s eyebrow. “Ugh, I hate to say it but I’m just getting bored. I know it sounds bad but Carter is almost too perfect! I feel like I’m always the one with insecurities and fears. While he helps me through them I feel guilty for always taking and never giving. He’s a well oiled machine that never breaks or even shows stress.” she uncomfortably changes the subject answering more of Zack’s questions “As far as the promotion I get to write... finally. It’s what I’ve been working toward the past two years.” she looks down now “But my two years of hard work is not what got me the position. Tonya my superior, she found my articles from college, the ones about Chris and the Knights. They offered me a position to write and edit in Sports.” her head hangs but she moves her eyes to catch Zacks stare.

“I see the problem” he nods but does what he does best and finds the light in the situation. “MC you’re getting to in your head about something that was four years ago. You love sports! Especially football! Maybe it wasn’t your goal to write about them but it won’t necessarily be that hard for you! And I’m sorry if I’m being blunt but last I checked in Chris was working with the Seahawks. Which puts him in Seattle on the other side of the country. So cheer up MC and let's celebrate! The rest of the year will be a win for both of us!” he cheers pulling her off the counter. “Kaitlyn's concert is next week, I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than with-” he is cut off as their gaze turns to the door the lock turning. MC’s roommate peering inside.

Molly Lorde a 27 year old with a tall and yet petite frame, pale skin and vibrant green eyes. Her wavy hair always seemed to land perfectly. She’d used her good looks to build a social media empire. Popularity and money had never been an issue for her, but she didn’t act like it. She was humble, and kind.

Four years ago MC had desperately moved to this new city only because it was her first option out. Becca had mentioned her cousin Molly a few times and offered the open lease at her apartment in Boston when she saw her friend desperate to leave Hartfeld behind as quickly as possible. 

As Molly opens the door she sees him, the one person who threatened her current title as MC’s best friend; Zack.

“Zackary! Come to steal my title?” she chimes “Or here to surrender!” she says pointing some very serious finger guns at the slender brunet.

Zack laughs and shoots finger guns back at her. Molly dodges the imaginary bullets and runs through the house Zack chasing her “You can take cover and hide but you’ll never have my title! MC is mine FOREVER!” as he yells he tackles her onto the couch the two of them laugh in unison.

“Not that i’m not flattered but, aren’t you both getting a little old for this?” MC smiles wedging herself between them on the couch.

The three of them catch up on life events, Molly and Zack recalling the first time they met in person. Having seen each other only over FaceTime calls they recognized each other instantly at Becca’s wedding 10 months earlier in Seattle. MC had chosen to send an expensive gift and letter to the wedding with her blonde roommate, out of sheer fear that going meant she might have to see Chris. As they talked about the wedding and memories MC tunes them out getting lost in the idea of what it would have been like if she’d been there. She writes the visual in her mind, the large ballroom pillars covered in gaudy white fabrics and twinkle lights. She sees herself in her favorite cream and blue dress standing with her friends sharing moments of laughter. Not going to the wedding was one of her biggest regrets especially after she found out Chris hadn’t attended at all.

The stories continue throughout the evening until Molly gets ready to head out again. Checking the time MC rolls her eyes knowing exactly where Molly is off too. She’d been making late night calls to a coworker's house for weeks now. Molly promised it was only for pleasure and nothing more, but last week Molly had gone three days without returning home. Zack yawns seeing this as a good time to leave. He offers to walk out with Molly to head back home leaving MC alone now to her thoughts.

Moving to the kitchen she plays some music as she cleans the dishes left behind. She allows Zack’s advice -to celebrate her promotion- to take over. She begins dancing and singing, completely off key. Feeling complete joy she continues to clean for the next hour before heading straight to bed. She plugs in her phone by her bedside. Playing quieter music now she stands in the dark stripping down and climbing into her welcoming sheets. She reaches for her phone to check her alarms one last time when she is greeted by a text from a name she hadn’t seen in years. She feels her chest tighten as she sits up startled staring at the text to afraid of opening it. She closes her eyes tight and tapping on the message.

“MC, I don’t know if this is even your number anymore. I felt it best that you know my job has brought me to Boston for at least a year. I wanted you to hear this from me and no one else. I hope life has treated you well. All my best. -Chris P.”

MC screenshots the message and only seconds after reading it has already been sent off to Zack. Once it’s delivered she goes back to the daunting words reading it again and again. Chris Powell had forced MC out of his life in an alcohol influenced moment of anger and pain from an injury that stole his career from him. MC spent a year mourning him before even approaching the idea of dating. She had not only lost the man she thought she’d love forever, she also lost the vision of her future. MC chose not to respond tonight. She was too tired and she had to be at work early to receive her first assignment. She drifted to sleep quick but her overly stressed subconscious only chose to bring up memories of years before. Real life memories turning to nightmares.

[rumpikerzzzworld]

April, You Will Be Remembered

It’s the 1st of May!! I want to post about some unforgettable April 2019 moments because I want to keep the memories that someday I want to remember again. So many things happened in the month. There were some heart-breaking incidents and of course there were some enjoyable moments as well. I’m just gonna highlight the things I want to remember the most. Here they are!!

BLACK HOLE

It is announced that on 10th April 2019 a group of scientist from the international Event Horizon Telescope (EHT) releasing the image of a black hole to public. This project was began in 2006. It took supercomputers, eight telescopes stationed on five continents, hundreds of researchers, and vast amounts of data to accomplish (source: the verge).  

(cr: Event Horizon Telescope)

I was not someone who understands much about space life, even though I studied the basic knowledge when I was in secondary and high school. However, I appreciated a lot this not easy job. I used to have a dream to be an astronomer when I was a kid, but i have to come to realization that I’m not smart enough to pursue the dream, lol. I’m currently into astronauts’ life though. I watch documentaries, read articles and other sources about astronaut’s and space’s life. So that, it made me happy to read this news. Moreover, one of the computer scientists in the team who led the development program to get the first-image of black hole is a woman named Katie Bouman. She is just 29-year-old when she did that. She is amazing!! I always wonder what kind of method those people use when they are studying. I mean, how could they be so smart? I feel like I’m such a useless and stupid human being. I’m nothing huhu. Anyway, I’m happy to witness the history of the first image of black hole.

GAME OF THRONES

FINALLY, WINTER IS COMING. I might not be the fan of the show since day 1. I just started watching game of thrones in 2017. Ever since I watched the first season, I started becoming a fan and addicted to the show then finished all of the 7 seasons in a few weeks. The show is that addictive, it made me threw any dramas/movies for about 6 months because I felt that the show was too well executed and any other movies/dramas in that time period I was watching the show felt bland. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to belittle other shows. It’s just the thing I felt that moment. I was so mesmerized by the storyline which literally beyond my expectation. It was so good. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like the show, and it’s okay as everyone has their own preference. But to me, this show is so far my very favourite one.

It took me 2 years to wait for the last season which is season 8 to be aired. I cant contain my feelings as I was so excited about this. AAAANNDDDDD IT’S FINALLY HERE. GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 IS HAPPENING. 14th April 2019 should be put as a history date as the show was aired on that day. Actually, I’m pretty sad that there will be just 6 episodes. I wish they make it to 10, but who am I to complain?

Okay, back to the show. The most talked episode is episode 3, the Battle of Winterfell, which was shown in that very episode. The episode lasts for about 80 minutes long. The thing that has been waited since season 1 was the war between the alive and the dead. There are so much reactions and opinions regarding the episode, fans are splitted into two groups, the one who enjoyed the episode and the one who disliked the episode as it didn’t reach their expectation. I’m the one who included to the first one, I pretty enjoyed the show although I think it wasn’t the greatest battle in Game of Thrones. My favourite battle was Battle of Bastards as it was really tensed. But, I still like the Battle of Winterfell though. As of now, I want to put aside the negativity and just enjoy the rest of episodes. I’m planning on reading the books after the show is over.

One thing that I really like about episode 3 is the hyped from the people who watched together in cafes, restaurants, and other place. Their reactions were priceless. See these videos that went viral on twitter!!

1    2

ELECTION

One of the most tiring to bear ever since social media era existed is election. The countries that pursue democracy usually conduct election to choose their own leader, including my country. In the past, there weren’t much sources to search about election information other than from tv and newspaper, so that the backlash could be reduced. But it’s different now. In this digital age, people can share everything including the positive and negative contents. Social media as one of the tools for people to do campaign and spread either good thing or black-campaign for the election candidates. ISTG, this is so tiring to witness people bashing each other and most of them have crossed the line. I’m so done!

In Indonesia, for 2019’s election, there were some changes compare to the previous election. They were included the period of time of campaign which was so long (about 7 months) and also adding the other 3 elections of legislative to be held in the same very day. It used to be held in different months, but due to the lack of participation in legislative election so that they were all conducted together.

Indonesian Presidential Election Candidates (Left: Jokowi-Amin, Right: Prabowo-Sandi) 

(cr: Media Indonesia)

I was eager for this to end soon. It finally happened on 17th April 2019. But, something bad happened again. The incident which happened in 2014 was re-enacted as both candidates claimed they win. Even though the quick count results from about 12 institutions showed that Jokowi-Amin led the vote by gaining about 54% votes while Prabowo-Sandi gained around 44% votes. I’m so done with this. I will just wait for the official results to be announced and I wish on that day there will be no chaos happen.

Aside of that, something that breaks my heart is there were a lot of election officers died and fell sick due to exhaustion from working way too hard as most of them working until very late night and some even worked until the next morning because there were so many jobs to do, including counting the vote for legislative elections (DPR, DPRD, DPD). Although there were no major incident happened during the election process itself, but still this thing supposed to not happen. There is definitely something wrong with the system and it should be fixed so that there will be no victims anymore.

MOURNING IN SRI LANKA

21st April 2019 is Easter Day. Things supposed to be calm and sacred on that day. But disgusting act ruined it all. Multiple bombing attacks happened in several places in Sri Lanka, including at churches and hotels. Hundred of people died and many people got injured. Some extremists claimed they are responsible for the attacks, SMH. I wish the ones who dead are resting in peace, while the ones who got injured will get well soon and receive some strength to continue life. and for the terrorists, I wish you die in suffer and go to hell!!

I don’t get why in 2019, hatred ideology is still growing fast in this world. Sadly, in some developed-countries which the citizen are more educated, this ideology also exist. People should learn that the differences that make this world beautiful. Why some people feel like they want to hurt each other just because they have differences in term of race, skin colour, religion, countries, ideology, etc. We need to respect each other differences as long as it doesn’t violate the rule of law.

I think there should be a formal lesson in school to teach students to respect the differences. Parents should teach their children right too. Sadly, I found a lot of parents who taught their children to hate people who are different from them. This needs to be stopped. Everyone deserves to get equal treatment. We all want a better future. We cant reach this as long as we still fight each other because of the differences. Just put aside it and look the bigger picture, the same goal we want to pursue. As of now, i’m kinda sceptical if we can reach peace in the near future. However, someday in the future, I wish the world will be a better place to live in. Amen

(cr: wisdom quotes)

AVENGERS ENDGAME

Marvel fans have anticipated the final movie from Avengers United. They are excited as well as sad as the avengers series come to end. Avengers Endgame was screened since 26th April 2019 in my country. There were so much fans who purchased pre-order ticket in a few days prior to the movie screening. It’s kinda cray because the cinemas are full packed with the audiences. Most cinemas even dedicated all of their studios for this movie as the demands are very high then putting aside the other movies. I feel bad for the other movies as they didn’t get time slot for their movies in cinema because of Avengers movie. I wish this wont last long as other movies deserve to get screened as well.

Okay, back to Avengers Endgame movie. Just in March 2019, I watched Captain Marvel movie and in April, I got to watch the last movie of Avengers. I’m actually not a big fan of Superheroes movies, I’m just a casual viewer who enjoyed the movies and i enjoyed watching this one as well. Avengers Endgame runs for 181 minutes, it’s pretty long. I came to bathroom in the middle of movie though, lol.

Overall, I like this movie as I think everything was executed very well. The cinematography, the sound, the edit, the effect are totally top-class work as well as the casts and their act. It really gives everyone goosebumps during the war between Avengers United and Thanos and his soldiers. I couldn’t blink my eye any second because I didn’t want to miss anything. Even though, I felt like I wanted to go to number 1 again in the middle of war scene, but I held it until the movie was over, lol. The movie is worth the hyped though. It’s indeed a masterpiece. I think I’m gonna rewatch it later. But, first I need to watch several marvel movies that I haven’t watched yet so everything will connect and make sense as I still didn’t understand some part. Anyway, thanks marvel for presenting a very well done job!! Goodbye or See you (?) Avengers!!

(cr: marvel)

Bye April 2019. Welcome my month, May!!

xoxo

mels

[sociologyquotes]

Winston Churchill: Britain’s “Greatest Briton” Left a Legacy of Global Conflict and Crimes Against Humanity

“The current British Prime Minister, David Cameron, has called Churchill “the greatest ever Prime Minister”, and Britons have recently voted him as the greatest Briton to have ever lived.

The story that British schoolbooks tell children about Churchill is of a British Bulldog, with unprecedented moral bravery and patriotism. He, who defeated the Nazis during World War II and spread civilisation to indigenous people from all corners of the globe. Historically, nothing could be further from the truth.

To the vast majority of the world, where the sun once never set on the British empire, Winston Churchill remains a great symbol of racist Western imperialist tyranny, who stood on the wrong side of history.

The myth of Churchill is Britain’s greatest propaganda tool because it rewrites Churchill’s true history in order to whitewash Britain’s past imperialist crimes against humanity. The Churchill myth also perpetuates Britain’s ongoing neo-colonial and neo-liberal policies, that still, to the is day, hurt the very people around the world that Churchill was alleged to have helped civilise.

The same man whose image is polished and placed on British mantelpieces as a symbol of all that is Great about Britain was an unapologetic racist and white supremacist. “I hate Indians, they are a beastly people with a beastly religion”, he once bellowed. As Churchill put it, Palestinians were simply “barbaric hordes who ate little but camel dung.”

In 1937, he told the Palestine Royal Commission:

“I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place.”

It is unsurprising that when Barack Obama became President, he returned to Britain a bust of Churchill which he found on his desk in the Oval office. According to historian Johann Hari, Mr. Obama’s Kenyan grandfather, Hussein Onyango Obama, was imprisoned without trial for two years and was tortured on Churchill’s watch, for daring to resist Churchill’s empire.

Apart from being an unrepentant racist, Churchill was also a staunch proponent of the use of terrorism as a weapon of war.

During the Kurdish rebellion against the British dictatorship in 1920, Churchill remarked that he simply did not understand the “squeamishness” surrounding the use of gas by civilized Great Britain as a weapon of terror. “I am strongly in favour of using gas against uncivilised tribes, it would spread a lively terror,” he remarked.

In the same year, as Secretary of State for War, Churchill sent the infamous Black and Tans to Ireland to fight the IRA. The group became known for vicious terrorist attacks on civilians which Churchill condoned and encouraged.

While today Britons celebrate Churchill’s legacy, much of the world outside the West mourns the legacy of a man who insisted that it was the solemn duty of Great Britain to invade and loot foreign lands because in Churchill’s own words Britain’s “Aryan stock is bound to triumph”.

Churchill’s legacy in the Far East, Middle East, South Asia and Africa is certainly not one of an affable British Lionheart, intent on spreading civilization amongst the natives of the world. To people of these regions the imperialism, racism, and fascism of a man like Winston Churchill can be blamed for much of the world’s ongoing conflicts and instability.

As Churchill himself boasted, he “created Jordan with a stroke of a pen one Sunday afternoon,” thereby placing many Jordanians under the brutal thumb of a throneless Hashemite prince, Abdullah. Historian Michael R. Burch recalls how the huge zigzag in Jordan’s eastern border with Saudi Arabia has been called “Winston’s Hiccup” or “Churchill’s Sneeze” because Churchill carelessly drew the expansive boundary after a generous lunch.

Churchill also invented Iraq. After giving Jordan to Prince Abdullah, Churchill, the great believer in democracy that he was, gave Prince Abdullah’s brother Faisal an arbitrary patch of desert that became Iraq. Faisal and Abdullah were war buddies of Churchill’s friend T. E. Lawrence, the famous “Lawrence of Arabia”.

Much like the clumsy actions in Iraq of today’s great Empire, Churchill’s imperial foreign policy caused decades of instability in Iraq by arbitrarily locking together three warring ethnic groups that have been bleeding heavily ever since. In Iraq, Churchill bundled together the three Ottoman vilayets of Basra that was predominantly Shiite, Baghdad that was Sunni, and Mosul that was mainly Kurd.

Ask almost anyone outside of Iraq who is responsible for the unstable mess that Iraq is in today and they are likely to say one word, either “Bush” or “America”. However, if you asked anyone within Iraq who is mainly responsible for Iraq’s problems over the last half century and they are likely to simply say “Churchill”.

Winston Churchill convened the 1912 Conference in Cairo to determine the boundaries of the British Middle Eastern mandate and T.E. Lawrence was the most influential delegate. Churchill did not invite a single Arab to the conference, which is shocking but hardly surprising since in his memoirs Churchill said that he never consulted the Arabs about his plans for them.

The arbitrary lines drawn in Middle Eastern sand by Churchillian imperialism were never going to withstand the test of time. To this day, Churchill’s actions have denied Jordanians, Iraqis, Kurds and Palestinians anything resembling true democracy and national stability.

The intractable Israeli-Palestinian conflict can also be traced directly back to Churchill’s door at number 10 Downing Street and his decision to hand over the “Promised Land” to both Arabs and Jews. Churchill gave practical effect to the Balfour declaration of 1917, which expressed Britain’s support for the creation of a Jewish homeland, resulting in the biggest single error of British foreign policy in the Middle East.

Churchill’s legacy in Sub-Saharan Africa and Kenya in particular is also one of deep physical and physiological scars that endure to this day.

Of greater consequence to truth and history should be a man’s actions, not merely his words. Whilst Churchill has become one of the most extensively quoted men in the English speaking world, particularly on issues of democracy and freedom, true history speaks of a man whose actions revolved around, in Churchill’s own words, “a lot of jolly little wars against barbarous peoples”.

One such war was when Kikuyu Kenyans rebelled for their freedom only to have Churchill call them “brutish savage children” and force 150,000 of them into “Britain’s Gulag”.

Pulitzer-prize winning historian, Professor Caroline Elkins, highlights Churchill’s many crimes in Kenya in her book Britain’s Gulag: The Brutal End of Empire in Kenya. Professor Elkins explains how Churchill’s soldiers “whipped, shot, burned, and mutilated Mau Mau suspects”, all in the name of British “civilization”. It is said that President Obama’s grandfather Hussein Onyango Obama never truly recovered from the torture he endured from Churchill’s men.

The Nobel Prize-winning economist Amartya Sen has proved how in Bengal in 1943 Churchill engineered one of the worst famines in human history for profit.

Over three million civilians starved to death whilst Churchill refused to send food aid to India. Instead, Churchill trumpeted that “the famine was their own fault for breeding like rabbits.” Churchill intentionally hoarded grain to sell for profit on the open market after the Second World War instead of diverting it to starving inhabitants of a nation controlled by Britain. Churchill’s actions in India unquestionably constituted a crime against humanity.

Churchill was also one of the greatest advocates of Britain’s disastrous divide-and-rule foreign policy.

Churchill’s administration deliberately created and exacerbated sectarian fissures within India’s independence movement, between Indian Hindus and Muslims that have had devastating effects on the region ever since.

Prior to India’s independence from Britain, Churchill was eager to see bloodshed erupt in India, so as to prove that Britain was the benevolent “glue holding the nation together”. For Churchill, bloodshed also had the added strategic advantage that it would also lead to the partition of India and Pakistan. Churchill’s hope was this partition would result in Pakistan remaining within Britain’s sphere of influence. This, in turn, would enable the Great Game against the Soviet empire to continue, no matter the cost to innocent Indian and Pakistanis. The partition of India with Pakistan caused the death of about 2.5 million people and displaced some 12.5 million others.

According to writer, Ishaan Tharoor, Churchill’s own Secretary of State for India, Leopold Amery,  compared his boss’s understanding of India’s problems to King George III’s apathy for the Americas. In his private diaries Amery vented that “on the subject of India, Churchill is not quite sane” and that he didn’t “see much difference between Churchill’s outlook and Hitler’s.”

Churchill shared far more ideologically in common with Hitler than most British historians care to admit. For instance, Churchill was a keen supporter of eugenics, something he shared in common with Germany’s Nazi leadership, who were estimated estimated to have killed 200,000 disabled people and forcibly sterilised twice that number. Churchill drafted a highly controversial piece of legislation, which mandated that the mentally ill be forcibly sterilized. In a memo to the Prime Minister in 1910, Winston Churchill cautioned, “the multiplication of the feeble-minded is a very terrible danger to the race”. He also helped organise the International Eugenics Conference of 1912, which was the largest meeting of proponents of eugenics in history.

Churchill had a long standing belief in racial hierarchies and eugenics. In Churchill’s view, white protestant Christians were at the very top of the pyramid, above white Catholics, while Jews and Indians were only slightly higher than Africans.

Historian, Mr. Hari, rightfully points out, “the fact that we now live in a world where a free and independent India is a superpower eclipsing Britain, and a grandson of the Kikuyu ‘savages’ is the most powerful man in the world, is a repudiation of Churchill at his ugliest – and a sweet, ironic victory for Churchill at his best.”

Amid today’s Churchillian parades and celebratory speeches, British media and schoolbooks may choose to only remember Churchill’s opposition to dictatorship in Europe, but the rest of the world cannot choose to forget Churchill’s imposition of dictatorship on darker skinned people outside of Europe. Far from being the Lionheart of Britain, who stood on the ramparts of civilisation, Winston Churchill, all too often, simply stood on the wrong side of history.

Churchill is indeed the Greatest Briton to have ever lived, because for decades, the myth of Churchill has served as Britain’s greatest propaganda tool to bolster national white pride and glorify British imperial culture.”

---from the article Winston Churchill: Britain’s “Greatest Briton” Left a Legacy of Global Conflict and Crimes Against Humanity by Garikai Chengu

[ellstra]

Ellstra’s One Year of Kylux Fic Rec

Exactly I year ago, I published my first Kylux fanfic, unaware what the year would bring me. I’m still in shock this ship stayed with me so long, that I still have tons of ideas about it and see it in everything. I’m emotional about this. I wanted to celebrate with sharing my love for some of the fics I’ve found and adored during the year. These are those I bookmarked on AO3, which means there is always a chance I read and loved others but forgot to bookmark them and my memory is shitty. I’m sorry. I’d arrange these like I’ve seen other people do, but 90% of them are porn so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Enjoy!

Wools and Silks, Satin and Lace (series) by @nerdherderette 

Words: 7,212 (2 works), Rated E; A Tailor Hux!AU, hot, it will mush your brain into puddle and you’ll be happy about it, tons of names of fabrics and product placement™ which warmed my nerdy heart (you’ll probably learn a word or two as well, I sure did)

The Vanishing: Being an Account of the Apotheosis &c. of James Allan Hux, Esq. (as culled from evidence presented at the inquest surrounding his disappearance) by @favomancer 

Words: 40,787, Rated E; James Allan Hux, Esq, is a veteran of the Great War turned private investigator in London, when a wealthy American widow asks him to search for her missing son. Kylo Ren is the true name of Benjamin Solo - once formerly a scholar at Miskatonic University. He has uncovered his true heritage and now seeks to recover the lost pieces of his patrimony so he can find his way back to a land where his grandmother was a Queen, and where he will be a prince. One searches for the other, who searches for things best left unfound, and neither will recognize the paths taken when they finally meet. This is everything your twisted perverted heart can wish for in a fancy wrapping of Lovecraft’s mythos, 100% worth the read for the writing style alone (if literary porn is a thing, then this is an obligatory read), the sex scene made me cry so there’s that

Crush by @deluxekyluxtrashcan 

Words: 8,766, Rated T; It's been years since Kylo last came home, and knowing he won't be able to take the plunge and actually stay with his parents, he agrees to let Han book him a room at a local hotel. The only problem? Han messes up and Kylo has nowhere to stay - that is until his high school crush Hux, who he hasn't seen in years, offers to let him share his room.Kylo has to navigate the feelings he finds he still has for Hux, the fragile new relationship with his parents, and the realisation that he isn't the only one with a difficult relationship with his parents.  Modern AU in which the boys both have a lot of issues and it’s painful to read it because it frustrates you - if they could just talk to each other aaaaah - but they resolve it in the end and it’s so soothing, very nice. 

the giggle at a funeral by @mistresseast 

Words: 20 591, not rated; Hux and Phasma have been running First Order Investigations since high school, and Dr. Snoke's metaphysical research graduate program seemed like the perfect opportunity to pursue their interests under the protective umbrella of academia. Unfortunately, that meant allowing Snoke's personal project, a taciturn medium named Kylo Ren, to join their team. Hux and Kylo mix like oil and water, or, more accurately, like fire and gasoline, and Hux is convinced that working effectively with Kylo is absolutely impossible. They hate each other, and Hux is content to leave it that way.But then, a case in the sweltering heat of South Carolina begins to change things between them, and Hux finds himself questioning not only Kylo's feelings, but his own as well.  I didn’t know I needed this AU but it seems like I did, Kylo’s mysterious and troubled, Hux is fed up with him but still has Feelings™, Phasma needs a break (or a drink) all in a thrilling chase after a ghost. I was almost late for school because of this. Apparently there will be a sequel which I can’t wait for. 

All The Way To Your Door (WIP) by @kyluxtrashcompactor 

Words: 37 315, Rated E; Six months ago, Hux lied to his father. He said the man in the picture he pulled up on his phone was his fiancé. Hux never anticipated telling his roommate, Ben, that he had been cast as Hux's lover, but when Hux's father dies unexpectedly, he is forced to tell Ben the truth, and ask him to play the role at Brendol Hux's wake.  The essential fake-relationship trope that no rec list can lack. It’s beautifully, gently written, with lovely metaphors and great details, Brendol is not actually the asshole he is in other fics which is refreshing and ads tragedy into the story. Hux’s relatives are fun, Kylo has a lot of issues from the military, lots of feelings.

Ride Or Die by @slutstiels 

Words: 8 796, Rated E; Phasma had asked him to do her a favor: stay behind and let Rey’s cousin know that Phasma was taking her on a movie date and would be bringing her home in a couple of hours. Hux hadn’t been able to say no. He is a gentleman after all. It helps, of course, that Rey’s cousin is fucking stacked. Six feet, two inches of broad shoulders and hard muscles covered up under layers of black leather, face always hidden by a black riding helmet. The first time Hux saw him it was like every porn, every wet dream, every fantasy he’d ever had come to real life. I’ll never admit reading this, a buddy of mine told me this fic was very filthy and very hot and had the worst case of slutty virgin Hux and Kylo with cheesy tattoos all over his body. This buddy of mine highly encourages you to read this fic but my chaste self would never be seen clicking that link.

Vivisect (WIP) by @firstordershitposting and @first-disorder 

Words: 56 690, Rated E; Lord Armitage Bathory Hux, pretending to mourn his late father, enjoys free reign over his castle and the villages it commands. Specifically, his tastes stray towards murder, torment, and sadism. To him, sensitive and devotedly religious Lord Benjamin Organa is but an entertaining new plaything. But Ben’s inner conflict only increases as he is torn between his cherished Catholic moral creed and his terrible attraction to Lord Armitage—as well as his own compulsion to kill.  Proceed with care with this one because it’s seriously fucked up but I promise that if you don’t have problems with any of the things you get warned about (there’s a list. it’s long) you won’t regret it. The dynamics between the pair of them if seriously twisted but so much fun.

Campfire (Baking Chocolate) by @piratical-princess

Words: 11 044, Rated E; Kylo convinces Hux to go on a camping trip. He attempts to melt the General's ice with good food and spooky storytelling, but it's harder than it seems when both of them are so good at hiding.  Everything you could possibly want from the pair of them going camping (canon-compliant). It’s all incredibly sweet and Kylo is a darling while Hux has Issues™. They share a tent (look at the rating if you’re not sure what happens next.) 

Oh, when you love it by @longstoryshortikilledhim 

Words: 7 676, Rated M; The Skywalker family seems fucked up beyond repair. They still try their best.  Modern AU of a troubled family that somehow works despite all odds. It’s poetic and will leave you feel serene. Intermingled with poetry which fits better than I’ve ever seen poetry fit. 

Stay by @42dicks 

Words: 1 815, Rated T; Two drunk teens grasp at comfort. High school AU, there are some emotions involved I can’t properly describe without quoting the whole thing so go read it.

The Fruits of Autumn by Gigi_Sinclair (couldn’t find you on tumblr sorry)

Words: 8 048, Rated M; "Everyone says college is supposed to be the best time of your life. If that's true,Matt thinks, yanking open the door to the coffee shop, then I might as well kill myself now." Yes, this is mostly Techienician but there’s Kylux too in the best way, there’s a coffee shop involved, Kylo recites poetry and Hux has his famous speech (although probably not in the way you’d expect.)

Ghosts of Your Past (never go away) by @evilblubber 

Words: 2300, Rated M; “So,” says Brendol, carefully, "So your dead father, who isn’t actually Force-sensitive, somehow came back as a Force ghost, and caught us having sex?” Kylo scowls. “I’m not crazy."Han Solo defies all logic and comes back to haunt his son, who really wants to stab something. Hux is confused. Phasma is still amused. Or, Ren really needs to stop stabbing people. Emperor Hux, Han has a cameo, truly inspiring and hilarious. There’s also a podfic by @kesskay which makes it 100% better, you won’t be able not to laugh.

To the Pure by @kdazrael 

Words: 27 929, Rated E; Dear sir or madam, I am General Hux of the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Finalizer. I was recently strong-armed by a colleague into joining an order of mystic knight-warriors and now they want me take part in their team-building orgies. Please advise. The Knights of Ren are in this one and they’re adorable. Hux gets coerced to join the gang’s bonding exercises (against his will of course, mind you.) It’s beautiful. Worth a read for the knights alone (although the sex is great too so what are you waiting for?) There is a podfic by @kesskay too which you should check out as well.

Divided Desire by @kdazrael 

Words: 16 891, Rated E; Hux felt himself go pale, his muscles pulling tight and scalp prickling. “Why would I give a damn about what some foul alien has between its legs?"  This fic intends to be unashamedly filthy and is doing a very good job. Back from the days when Hux’s xenophilia was a number one topic in the fandom, this is a must-read. You’ll question your sanity if you read this but you’ll still be unable to put it down.

Screaming Colour by @solohux 

Words: 37 572, Rated M; For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His mother tells him that it means that he's got a soulmate somewhere in the galaxy who's waiting for him and little Hux is excited to think that his soulmate can see things in the amazing colours that he can. But one day, the colour begins to drain from Hux's world. (Soulmate AU where you see everything in perfect colour until your soulmate dies)  Amazing concept with truly intriguing execution and lots of baby!Hux angst because who doesn’t love that. Hux’s mother is very lovely in this fic, although a tragic character. Also there’s lots of Kylo angst. But a lot of fluff too. So it’s a win-win basically.

Take the Dive (WIP) by @jinxedambitions  

Words: 52 775, Rated E; Hux is the top diver in the world coming back for his third Olympic Games. However, this time he's bringing more baggage than just his equipment. His former partner, Ben Solo, is also competing with his new partner, and Hux's greatest rival, Poe Dameron.Hux needs to prove he's still the best in the world, but more than that he wants to prove to himself that he can move past Ben. However, Ben seems dead set on reminding him about the past at every turn. A fierce rivalry, bitter exes, one big temper, some tiny swim suits, and a medal on the line...  Okay so who hasn’t watched diving during the Olympics and wished this fic existed, right? Well it does, and it’s even better than you’d expect. There’s angry sex, there’s jealousy, there’s Feelings™, there’s Poe who puts up with way too much, there’s tragic backstory and there’s Snoke who is an asshole. It’s a perfect mix.

Doctor’s Orders (WIP) by @jinxedambitions

Words: 117 205, Rated E; Hux may have too much on his plate. He's a successful surgeon. He runs the volunteer clinic his late mother started from the ground up. His father is constantly scrutinizing his work even though Hux is more successful than he ever was. His clinic is constantly under attacks whether by politicians with an agenda or fanatics looking to shut him down. It seems like everyone wants a piece of him. The last thing he needs is Kylo Ren constantly taking up space in his waiting room for every imagined illness he can come up with. Hux isn't sure if he hasn't been loved enough or he's got one hell of a doctor kink, and he doesn't particularly care to find out. However, Ren might just be the answer to some of Hux's biggest headaches. The question is whether Ren is more trouble than he's worth. The answer is most certainly yes, but against his better judgment Hux lets him keep coming back. Hux is a doctor in this one which is the best thing in the world and I love it (Hux using his fierce intelligence and dedication to healing people instead of killing them? Sign me up!) Leia is a badass in this one, Rey is very sweet and Phasma is just amazing. Kylo and Hux have a lot of issues of course but I hope they’ll solve them. Snoke is extra awful in this one.

None of Your Business by @samzillastomps 

Words: 20 316, Rated E; Hux is keeping his head above the water with his slightly pretentious bookstore, but just barely. When the next door neighbor (a young business owner who hasn't impressed Hux in the least) meanders over with a magical proposition for them both, Hux is in no position to deny him. A compromise to save his bookstore from bankruptcy may be just what Hux needs to feel at peace again-- and just what his neighbor was hoping for to get his foot in the bookstore door. Modern AU, very sensitive story which will warm you up like a cup of cocoa. There are old, precious books involved and it’s great, Hux is beautifully broken and so afraid of falling in love but he does anyway. 

Waste Isolation by @yeats-infection 

Words: 24 067, Rated E; Saltlands, Disputed Territory; 9421 CE. As sheriff of the Templum Flats, Hux prides himself on his irrepressible conniving - especially in dealing with the cultish Order and its feral lich mercenary, Ren. A dystopian AU with such a perfect setting that is apparently based on reality written so beautifully you’ll want to tear your own heart out of your body and eat it. The prose is magnificent, amazing because it’s just brushing the surface and lets you make connections on your own (also new words. yay!) The relationship between the pair of them is just brilliant, everything about this story is brilliant. 

Be a Body by @cracktheglasses 

Words: 5 114, Rated E; General Hux likes spending his shore leave somewhere anonymous, convenient and blessedly free of Kylo Ren. Somewhere full of men with big hands, and preferably with a good bathroom to do Mon Gazza spice in. Okay so obviously Hux’s leave is not as Kylo Ren free as he hoped and he still loves it, mostly because he has no idea what’s going on. Also Hux takes drugs so there’s that. It’s filthy and it’s gorgeous.

Cornflakes and Other Lists by @starkilleraflame 

Words: 35 969, Rated G; “Ben, what are you doing?” asked Rey. In answer, Ben just pointed to the window and said, “People.” “Yes, Ben, those exist.” “I know that, but they’re moving in. Who’s letting them move into the crazy neighborhood?” “Ben, we’re the crazy house. No one else is crazy. Just you.” “I’m not crazy, Rey. I was just kidnapped and brainwashed by an abusive militant cult leader. There’s a difference."  Modern AU, Ben is kidnapped and brainwashed by Snoke, the Knights of Ren are a bunch of teenagers with serious mental health issues and they’re great, Hux is the kid that moves in to the house beside Ben’s and for some reason doesn’t go to school either which works just fine for Ben. And boy, does this work. It’s beautiful and poetic but at the same time very real. Ben is so precious in this one.

Eleison by @saltandimes 

Words: 4 104, Rated E; When Kylo leaves on a mission, Hux begins to fall apart. Because he needs Kylo, and there's nothing else Kylo has ever wanted. Hux is so dependent on Kylo that he’s barely able to breathe on his own, which shouldn’t be a good thing but from some reason it is, most likely because of the amazing delivery of the idea.

Ace of Spades (WIP) by @bettydays 

Words: 57 362, Rated M; “Sometimes,” Ben says, “it feels like everything’s connected. Like with strings. And if I could just see the strings, I could pull them. I could make things do what I wanted.” “Are people connected too?” Hux asks. “Uh huh. But some strings between people are shorter than others. Like ours. I bet ours is the shortest string you can have.” Modern AU which follows the pair of them from early childhood as they become friends to very troubled teen years (and I hope a happy ending.) It feels very real, it’s well written without being cliche. Bonus points for Padmé.

Behind Schedule by @limit-breaker  

Words: 12 115, Rated E; Hux tries to micromanage their sex life, but even with exacting details it doesn't always go according to plan... Hux is afraid of catching feelings but somehow forgets to get vaccinated. Kylo is uncharacteristically patient. Lots of brilliant character development.

Control and Shush by @percjgraves 

Words: 2 484 and 2 437, Rated E; Hux knows perfectly well what he wants. A familiar pressure, a firm hold, the thrill of the struggle. Kylo Ren’s gloved hand around his neck. and “That all you can do?” Hux says, insolent to the last, and Kylo sits up, cups Hux’s jaw with something like tenderness as he leans to whisper in his ear.“Shut up,” he says, slowly. “Or I’ll gag you.” I put these two together because they are loosely tied together. Very intriguing dynamics and well, the living embodiment of my sub!hux headcanons so no real explanation here, just accept that it’s amazing.

Good Neighbours (series) by @thewightknight 

Words: 4 083 (2 works), Rated T; Hux rents the house on the sleepy cul-de-sac because the price is right, knowing the noise from the firestation across the street won't bother him. The firefighters, on the other hand? Consider him bothered. What a lovely setting, Hux is unapologetically stalking the firefighters and they know. It’s not a porn actually, even though I made it sound that way. It’s actually very sweet and leads to an awkward meeting.

Lygerastia by @sithofren 

Words: 2 331, Rated E; The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out. Very sweet, very emotional porn. The best kind of porn there is. 

Academy Style by @eralkfang 

Words: 13 921, Rated E; “It’s not a question of desire, it’s a question of logistics.”  Kylo’s dick is huge and Hux is scared, though still determined to take the challenge. A truly magnificent classic Kylux™ with repressed emotions.

Ravines (series) by @badspacebabies

Words: 11 825 (2 works), Rated E A highschool AU, very poetic, immersing prose that will leave you grinning through your tears. It feels like you’re sitting on the curb with them as they share a cigarette. 

Our Fragile Co-commandership by @nightsofllyn 

Words: 13 128, Rated E; Kylo Ren and General Hux discuss the weather on Starkiller Base. This is a tricky fic to describe, since each of the chapters is a little different. It starts off playful and with the well-known rivalry we all love for this ship. Continues through sex dreams that somehow manage to seem like high arts. Finishes satisfying, although a little alarming. Overall a very pleasant read. The imagery in chapter 2 is spot on.

Life Sentence, No Cellmate by @hollyhark 

Words: 30 119, Rated E; Hux follows orders and loses his way. I don’t have to present CWU to anyone in the fandom, do I? I’m the only one who hasn’t read the whole thing yet (it’s intimidatingly long and I’ve been super busy but I intent to fix it soon.) I liked their first kiss in this story. So poetic, so emotional.

Imperial Majesty Hux (series) by @pkabyssian 

Words: 14 883 (2 works), Rated E As the title suggests, an Emperor Hux verse, where they defeat Snoke because Hux is fed up with him, and they have great sex in between.

rise, higher still, endless thrill by @lupevensies 

Words: 4387, Rated M; Then they had won, and what remained of the Republic soldiers scattered away in a disorderly fashion. Ren stood there, surrounded by maimed corpses and splattered blood, absurdly red against the snow. Hux wanted to peel off his clothes and wash all the blood and dirt off his body, slowly, reverently, until it was impossible to tell those long limbs had ever known the filthy mess of battle. He wanted to beat him to a pulp and drag him into the mud and see if he’d still look like an avenging angel then.  Ruthlessly brilliant MCD, one of the first Kylux fics I’ve read so I’m a little sentimental about this one. Every words is where it belongs and the ending will fuck you up (it will be good though.)

[floraexplorer]

A Letter to My Family House

This is the house I was born in.

It’s the only family home I’ve ever known.

This is where my parents brought me as a baby in March 1988; to a house they’d decided to put a mortgage on when they realised they were about to become a family. They’d only been together for six weeks when she discovered she was pregnant.

My parents first met ten years earlier. He’d directed her in a play in 1977 (she was his leading lady), but he was already due to be engaged and so nothing could happen between them.

Ten years later and after his divorce, he left a message on her answerphone asking her to lunch.

The rest is history. Thirty years of it, in fact. And it’s a history I’m now responsible for preserving. Now, this house and its contents are all I have to remember my parents.

Losing your parents turns your world upside down

2018 has been the most difficult year of my life. Since my dad’s death last October it feels like I’ve spent more days crying in these six rooms than living in the outside world, and it’s been utterly exhausting.

One of the hardest things about grief is that there’s no rule book. It’s completely up to you – your body, your mind, your emotions and your intuition – to parse how to act, think, and feel your way through the grief-cloud. Your friends are supremely cautious about giving the wrong advice or adding any further stress, so they’re gentle with everything they say to you. Much of the time I hear, “We can do whatever [it is] you want.”

But that’s the problem. I have no bloody clue what I want. And what may feel like appropriate behaviour (i.e. spending your days sobbing on the carpet) is fundamentally flawed, because you’ve been through such huge trauma that your instincts are all over the place.

Take this house, for example. I moved back here just over a year ago in July 2017 when my dad was dying so I could help care for him. The timing was bizarrely appropriate: my flatmate Emi was heading to Nepal and India for six months so I wasn’t sure what my housing situation would’ve looked like anyway.

Except once my dad died last October, I didn’t leave the house. I couldn’t.

Instead I lived in a blur. My world became a confusion: predominantly crying in London, alongside occasionally telling myself I could still travel; that being abroad could still make me feel normal. In the first half of 2018 I headed to Cuba, Spain, Antigua, and Holland – but I still didn’t question my home base.

So I’ve somehow spent almost ten months living in the house I grew up in. By myself.

There are reasons for this, of course. For a long time I couldn’t even contemplate the idea of living elsewhere because this house is where all my familial memories are – and because being here allows me to remember them, and cry about them, and mourn them.

But I’ve been so careful to allow myself this private grieving space that I’ve overlooked something much more important: is being alone here actually helping me?

Losing your parents means you compare yourself to them

For a long time I’ve classed myself as an extroverted introvert. I love being around people and I thrive in social environments, but when I need to recharge it’s all about being by myself. Now that my parents are no longer around, it’s acutely easy to see my behaviours aligning with theirs  – and to judge myself accordingly.

My mum was a born socialiser. Whenever I came home from school she’d be sitting with her friends around our kitchen table gossiping with cups of tea, and we’d always joke that Mum could make instant friends with anyone, even in the queue at the post office. In comparison, my privacy-preferring dad was more likely to choose a night at home than any number of social invitations my mum tried to entice him into.

After Mum died, I noticed that our family house grew immediately quiet. While I quickly went back to university and then moved to San Francisco for my year abroad, Dad barricaded himself here – one man with his impenetrable fortress of solitude – and that’s how I began to view this place too. As a quiet, empty set of rooms, with way too much space to think.

I’ve spent most of the last few years terrified that I’ll end up alone like my dad – even though the crucial difference is that he was clearly happy being by himself. Yet conversely, I still need time and space alone to grieve and cry (the age-old adage of being stuck between a rock and a hard place has never felt more appropriate).

It’s made sense for this house to be my place of solitude this past year. This house means more to me now than it ever has. It’s been the one constant throughout my life: first a place of ultimate familiarity and comfort, then a place to grieve with my dad about the loss of my mum, then a place to calmly remember her, then a place to watch my dad’s declining health, then a place to grieve for him alone.

I have boxed myself in here. Self-imposed isolation. Surrounded by photos and objects and furniture and so many goddamn memories at every turn, which all act simultaneously as beautiful and heartbreaking reminders of who I’ve lost.

These are the details of my house: the inexplicable details which now mean everything to me, but mean absolutely nothing to anybody else.

There are the orange and blue shadows which fall onto the bathroom floor every afternoon when the sun is shining.

The chipped paint on the bannisters in the hall where we used to leave Post-It notes for each other, explaining what we were up to that evening. Her choir practices, my music lessons, his theatre rehearsals.

The elastic band I placed on the one squeaking stair so I’d know to avoid it and not wake him up when he was dying.

The marionettes she brought back from a visit to Indonesia, which my dad hung on the back of the living room door and posed them holding each other’s hands.

The wild blackberries which have always grown in the garden bushes, and which he made into crumble in the autumn – along with shop-bought apples and a secret ingredient of canned mango to make it smooth and creamy.

The green glass bottles she placed at the very top of a door in the kitchen we’ve never opened.

The hole in the middle of the lawn where he planted an apple tree in memory of her.

The theatre masks he collected from Greece and Japan and hung up in his study, which used to haunt me whenever I ran past the open door to the bathroom in the middle of the night as a kid.

I’ve tried my best to make this place my own. Slowly, carefully, I’ve begun to place my own possessions around the house and make it a mixture of our shared past and my sole future.

But I’m still living amongst their memories. Because what do you do with the sum total of two people’s lives who no longer exist? She was sixty two when she died. He was seventy nine. That’s a hundred and forty one years worth of life! All of which I’m responsible for; all the parts of their lives that they chose to keep.

And I still don’t really know what I’m doing. Or if I even want to do this.

I don’t know how to clean two floors of a house adequately, so the dust collects above doors and on carpeted stairs and underneath heavy oak furniture which once belonged to my grandmother.

I look around at bookshelves heaving with texts I’ve never read and probably never will – but they’re a lifetime of two peoples’ theatrical study and theatre work, and my heart breaks at the thought of giving them away.

I have a hundred questions I can never know the answers to: where did they find the cherub which hangs above the stairs? Why didn’t he tell me how to unlock the second set of garden doors? How do I fix the strange leaking patches in the ceiling? Do I really have to find a chimney sweep to clean the fireplace?!

And sometimes I just can’t bear to move objects from their years-old positions when I know my mum was the last person to decide where they’d be placed. She was the last person to have ownership over them, and I can’t bear to eradicate that.

You can’t heal in the same environment where you got sick

In January I wrote an article about my search for ‘home’. I said that, after years of travelling with an internal need to keep moving, I now wanted to stay very still in a place of comfort and wait for this grief to wash over me. It’s taken a while for me to realise that waiting for grief to do its thing doesn’t actually work.

Wherever I am, I’m still going to feel this grief. Yet I’m making it infinitely more difficult for myself: no longer living with housemates and also being in a long-distance relationship means I’m primarily facing the day-to-day hell of that grief alone. And it’s too much.

I’ve seen a quote crop up a lot recently: you can’t heal in the same environment where you got sick. As so often happens, this has been like a lightning bolt of realisation. Maybe the house where I grieved the sudden loss of my mum and spent months watching my dad die isn’t where I should be now?

I’ve always seen it as a safe space, but in actual fact my house now feels somewhat toxic.

I’m also giving it too much power. This is JUST a house. It is just a building. It is not the physical embodiment of my parents. Not being here doesn’t mean I’m disrespecting them or their memory. Not living here doesn’t mean I’ve failed.

And another thing to bear in mind? Home isn’t always in just one place.

The place you call ‘home’ is your choice

The turning point of this thought process happened a few weeks ago. At a recent summer’s evening on a London rooftop, surrounded by many of my blogger friends, we were celebrating the wedding of two of our own, the stunning couple that is Paul and Karen from Global Help Swap.

As I chatted about the concept of ‘home’ to people who’ve known me for almost a decade, both online and off, I realised that the Flora they know is fundamentally a traveller. An explorer. Someone who breathes excitement, loves impermanence and adores challenging herself with a myriad of adventures around the globe.

Alongside many of these blogger friends I’ve travelled to Spain, Antigua, Scotland, the Philippines, Holland, and South Africa. We’re a group who think nothing of criss-crossing the world to spontaneously meet each other for beers – and that style of travel, that impromptu way of life, is a huge part of me. I’ve just lost sight of it for the last few years.

Losing your parents is traumatic – which means that right now, I’m going to be scared of whatever changes happen. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have the courage to start over in a new place. But I’ve done it dozens of times before, in Florence and Norwich and San Francisco and Ecuador, and I know just how incredible it can be.

Although the idea of leaving my house fills me with fear, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a big deal to move somewhere new. This house will always be here, as long as I want it to be, and the memories won’t disappear just because I don’t live amongst a cascade of them every day.

That night after the wedding celebrations, I came back to my family house alone. I walked in through my familiar front door, climbed the stairs, and crawled into a huge bed by myself. Comfortable, certainly, but not enough anymore.

I’ve reclaimed enough of this house for now. Perhaps it’s time to move onto someplace different.

Have you moved on from the place you called ‘home’ after a trauma? What do you think makes a house a home? 

NB: All the images in this post were taken with the new Samsung S9, which I’ve been trialling out thanks to Three. 

The post A Letter to My Family House appeared first on .

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Top Takeaways: Strategies, Stories & Cutthroat Ping Pong at the First Agency Partner Day

At Sprout, our motto is “open communication creates progress.” We don’t just mean that when working with one another, we mean that when working with our customers and partners as well.

Last Tuesday, we held our first ever Agency Partner Day, a labour of love put on by Sprout’s Agency Partner Program. Over 100 of our agency friends gathered at Sprout HQ for a little more than networking. This event was built to support our agency partners and to further bring them all of the tools, resources and communities they need to grow and excel as a social media agency. We also wanted to give them a space to tap into one another’s experiences—both professional and personal. It was a day about them and their stories.

As a Content Specialist on the Marketing team, I’m not intimately woven into the fabric of our Agency Program, so I was a little unsure what would resonate with me. But I’ve attended enough Sprout events to know that they’re populated with great people, provocative ideas and collaborative communication. I was pumped.

I arrived early, like other Sprout employees attending, helped set up (by helped I mean I quietly ate snacks while the events team set up) and took in the view:

I had already had conversations with our team about Agency Partner Day and the details that surround it, so I had a solid idea of what the event was about. But when partners began filtering in—jovially greeting one another, striking up conversations, diving into their event gear—they seemed so excited about what was on deck for the day. And suddenly, so was I.

A Symbiotic Relationship

Our CEO, Justyn Howard, kicked the day off, acknowledging the symbiotic relationship between an agency and social. It’s always refreshing to be reminded of why we do what we do, and today was no different.

Our mission is to help organizations of all sizes become better marketers and create the world’s most beloved brands.

Justyn Howard CEO, Sprout Social

"You are our champions in the industry" couldn't agree more! @Justyn speaking to our #sproutpartner family #SproutPartnerDay @SproutSocial pic.twitter.com/Srg06VScBs

— Tara Robertson (@taraerobertson) October 17, 2017

“K-P-I” “K-P-I”

There were so many thoughtful presentations, it’s hard to encapsulate how much insight each one provided. Lucas Vandenberg, Managing Partner at Fifty & Five, spoke to tracking KPIs and really identifying areas of ROI, which was a hit with the crowd.

Great social insights from @FiftyandFive’s @LucasVandenberg at #SproutPartnerDay! #KPI #sociallistening @SproutSocial @SSPR pic.twitter.com/0ToEBaSUD3

— Avalon Cole (@avalonmcole) October 17, 2017

It made sense that on the heels of gaining some KPI knowledge the team had planned a strategy building workshop. The gist was partners would split up into small groups and each would get a use case. Their job? Convince and educate a skeptical client that social can bring them ROI and determine the KPI.

“K-P-I” “K-P-I” … #SproutPartnerDay strategy builds and sharing pic.twitter.com/MGZJH4gMvU

— Luke Reynebeau (@LukeReynebeau) October 17, 2017

It was a refreshing break to interact with one another and observe a room of partners apply their expertise to a challenge.

Rock Band Lessons

Spencer Smith shared his #1 lesson from his music days—go where a scene already exists and make yourself valuable. He backed this up with something he called ‘The Summerfest Effect,’ explaining that the same rules that apply to booking a sought after slot at a music fest apply to business—envision a daunting goal, be bold enough to ask how to get there, then take the steps necessary to achieve it.

BAM! @spencerXsays used to be in a band.

#1 rock band lesson: go where a scene ALREADY exists & make yourself valuable. #SproutPartnerDay pic.twitter.com/m5sjxrJz0n

— Krista Whitley (@SocialKrista) October 17, 2017

Our Own Roadmap

Our own Patrick Cuttica, Director of Product Marketing, gave everyone an inside glimpse of what’s new and next for Sprout, which sparked a surge of tweets and love from our partners, while Sprout’s Ryan Barretto, SVP of Global Sales, talked growth tips for agencies looking to expand.

Me listening to all the new exciting top secret stuff @SproutSocial is coming up with next! #sproutpartnerday pic.twitter.com/nHsu2rXPEM

— Becca Keyes (@BeccaKeyes) October 17, 2017

Some Standout Moments

Put People First

Sprout’s VP of Strategy & Brand Engagement, Andrew Caravella, shared a stat that was simultaneously surprising and not so surprising—43% of digital marketers say social is their most effective tactic, 49% say it’s the most difficult. Exemplifying that while proving the value of social is beginning to fade, leveraging it to it’s fullest potential is still a bit of a head-scratcher.

My big takeaway from Andrew’s talk was that despite social being a digital industry, it’s still a human-to-human business. The hurdles we’re trying to jump in order to get the most out of our social efforts are based in reminding ourselves that everything we do in this industry is for people.

💯 Put people first. #SproutPartnerDay pic.twitter.com/T9VlE1pl9L

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) October 17, 2017

Influence Occurs on Twitter

Twitter’s Lead of Data Partnerships, Eric Martin, has conversations with brands everyday about how to leverage Twitter for business. He reminded us that Twitter is where the world comes to connect, celebrate, share and mourn. And brands who actively respond to customer issues on Twitter find that customers are willing to spend up to 20% more per transaction. It was abundantly clear that there’s no excuse for brands to overlook the opportunity to respond and interact with consumers on social.

Being ignored by a business on social is like walking into a store and being ignored by a shopkeeper. It’s quite profitable to respond.

Eric Martin Data Partnership, Twitter

Replying to tweets creates increased revenue potential @ericmartinyc from @Twitter at #SproutPartnerDay pic.twitter.com/Nm5Z9IppYp

— RyTech, LLC (@RyTechLLC) October 17, 2017

This conveniently coincided with #SproutPartnerDay starting to trend on Twitter, as well as on Chicago’s Instagram story.

Growing At Scale

Brooke B. Sellas is a ‘real talk’ kind of person. As the first Agency Partner up to address the group and founder of B. Squared Media, she convinced us of the importance of planning, planning and more planning.

“I’m not telling you to be a social climber, but I am telling you to plan your network,” Sellas said.

In the early stages of her career, Sellas says she looked at the people she was connected with on social and leveraged those relationships. She’s documented everything and revealed to us her “secret sauce” for business growth: process, planning, people and pace.

I was impressed with the takeaways here and with hearing Sellas’s personal story of the uphill battle of creating her own business. This transparency was something that many other agencies at the event were incredibly thankful to hear as they are struggling with the same challenges in growth.

.@madSMscientist talking about scaling your agency at #SproutPartnerDay 🙌 “Mind your P’s” to grow your agency. pic.twitter.com/7Hhmu6OiQi

— Jared DiVincent (@JaredDiVincent) October 17, 2017

Listen, Learn & Adapt

Social Media Consultant and Founder of SocialCompass, Jared DiVincent, said he’d learned a lot since signing up to speak and, if asked today to summarize his talk, he’d change it from Leveraging Advocacy to Build Stronger Retainers, to simply Listen, Learn & Adapt.

While he did go in-depth about the value of employee advocacy and advocacy tools, the main takeaway from DiVincent’s talk was his encouragement to adapt to what’s happening in the marketplace and to find happiness in the work we do. He spoke about the winding paths most of us have taken to marketing and social, reminding us that he himself traded a career in commercial real estate for a job handing out brochures at a gondola visitor booth and eventually went on to build the agency he owns today. So DiVincent knows a thing or two about adapting and what partnership means in all of that.

With how quickly our industry changes and how quickly you have to adapt, having a partner allows us to stay ahead of the curve. It’s essential to our growth as an agency.

Jared DiVincent Founder, SocialCompass

DiVincent’s advocacy talk convinced me that despite agencies investing more and more in advertising, it isn’t necessarily working in their favor any longer, with 92% of consumers taking word of mouth marketing over ads.

So they’re adapting, much like we do in our own lives, to try new things because it can expand reach in organic and lasting ways.

His outgoing spirit came through in what he was telling us and they were sentiments I found value in and could apply to my own work, regardless of role or industry. There was something for everyone in this story.

A Compelling Panel

With the presentations capped off, what became my favorite portion of the night began when a panel of three mighty and spirited women took the stage: Krista Whitley, founder of Social Media Unicorn, Crystal Montufar, Operations Manager at Friendemic and SSPR‘s Director of Social Media, Katrina Jacobsze.

Two standout conversations between the experts emerged: one focused on the delicate balance between the concierge aspect of being an agency and setting boundaries to ensure you scale efficiently, and another about how to create the ‘aha!’ moment for clients.

“Clients become respectful of boundaries set,” Whitley said. “Identify what makes your agency unique. That value that you bring is what will keep you with them and make you a trusted advisor.”

She ended her response with a quote she said they like to use at her organization (one I would love to apply to more conversations in my life):

Ideas are pawns, execution is king.

Krista Whitley Founder, Social Media Unicorn

Jacobsze feels that ‘aha!’ moment from clients falls on being a thought leader in the industry, “You have to be your own newsroom,” she said.

She went on to say something that tied it all together for me giving me a clear and powerful sense of why all of us are here:

“We believe in a genuine connection between your brand and your customers. Social media is a human-to-human business and how we communicate with one another continues to evolve.”

A truthful, transparent agency panel discussion with @SocialKrista @friendemic @SSPR by @LukeReynebeau #SproutPartnerDay pic.twitter.com/8YLtkO6mYb

— Jared DiVincent (@JaredDiVincent) October 17, 2017

Our Own Partner Oscars

There’s no better way to express appreciation than to honor our partners for their remarkable efforts in the industry.

Partners from a variety of agencies walked away with plaques honoring their work in selected categories.

As our own Agency Business Development Lead, Tara Robertson, noted, if we could give an award to everyone, we would. But in order to show our deepest appreciation to the partners, the team identified a number of categories and used performance metrics, as well as submitted campaign materials to make the very tough decisions.

From the ‘Happy Clients, Happy Partners’ award to ‘Social Campaign of the Year’, the winners spanned every type and size of agency and hailed from all over the world.

The Winners:

Happy Clients, Happy Partners – SocialCompass Always Be Growing – Cosmitto Sprout Partner MVP – Whiteoaks Social Media Campaign of the Year – Digital Natives Partner of the Year – to be announced at the end of this year.

Thanks @sproutsocial! We're so honored to take home the "Always Be Growing" award at #SproutPartnerDay 🌱🌱🌱

A post shared by Michelle Marie (@michellemahbelle) on Oct 17, 2017 at 5:24pm PDT

A big congratulations to all the winners! You are changing an industry we all love.

Knowledge Sharing

One of the day’s most memorable developments for me was the enthusiasm for the collaborative exchange of ideas. As Tara pointed out, it didn’t feel strange to see these agencies—competitors in the industry—sitting next to one another, dishing tips for success, sharing in their triumphs and downfalls and asking hard questions of themselves and each other.

We’re all open books and something that was keenly clear at the end of Agency Partner Day was that the support of one team to another is what contributes to our communities’ successes.

One thing we ♥️ about #SproutPartnerDay: knowledge sharing! pic.twitter.com/EJoPCunbzY

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) October 17, 2017

SPiN

Lest you think the day ended in hugs and high fives at Sprout HQ… au contraire! After a full and satisfying gathering of sharing experiences, everyone was eager to unleash our competitive sides and hit the tables at Chicago’s ping pong social club, SPiN.

It was the perfect opportunity to get to know one another in a more relaxed setting and ask questions one on one.

Partners mingled and continued to learn from one another, while kicking each other’s butts in a ping pong tournament.

Next Year

Nope, I refuse to accept that it’s over.

Tomorrow marks the first day of planning for #SproutPartnerDay 2018 pic.twitter.com/igmwkS5ge5

— Luke Reynebeau (@LukeReynebeau) October 18, 2017

This was just the beginning of what’s to come for Sprout’s Agency Partner Program. Only three months into this initiative and it’s already a productive and collaborative community amassing a network of hundreds of partners and counting.

Among many things, our first Agency Partner Day struck me as an opportunity to see how different people, with different professional ethics, approaches and objectives, work toward the same goals. That’s what I call progress.

Best. Event. Ever. For real though, #SproutPartnerDay was a dream come true for so many reasons and I cannot accept that it's over. Cant wait for next year!!!

A post shared by Christine (@christinialb) on Oct 18, 2017 at 3:13pm PDT

Interested in learning more about the Agency Partner Program? Contact us.

This post Top Takeaways: Strategies, Stories & Cutthroat Ping Pong at the First Agency Partner Day originally appeared on Sprout Social.

from SM Tips By Minnie https://sproutsocial.com/insights/first-agency-partner-day/