#added drama for good measure

[pollenat]

“An empty lighter” | ljh.

➛ SEVENTEEN’s Indie drummer!Woozi. We’re back to Jihoon smoking, but this time after a bottle of beer, so you’ve been warned about the usage of cigarettes and alcohol.

➛ Word count: 1472.

➛ This short follows the events of “Readings done in smoke”.

The night you is a different type of person. At least so says Mingyu, someone who has had many chances to observe you in different surroundings. The night you is apparently surrounded by a dark cloak of mystery, as if your breath belonged to late hours.

“You emanate with power. I wouldn’t mind writing a song about that.” You know what he means by sweet words and longing looks. Though anyone else would find it impossible to deny Kim Mingyu, you’re an oddity. His fluttering lashes, attractive features, lower pitches – you cannot say you don’t find him beautiful. Just not in I’m-in-love type of beautiful.

“Sure thing, Mingyu.” Though you look away, his falling shoulders are visible in your peripheral vision. Disappointment, you bring him nothing but it.

Your gaze meets Jihoon’s. A second passes and he looks away, too shy to admit his curiosity. Despite a whole sea of moving people between the two of you, he still found and observed you. His act goes on for a moment, but then he turns to Jun and tells him something. Presumably asks about you and Mingyu. Your position – his silhouette leaning towards you, hand resting above your shoulder, eyes still set on you and your indifferent lack of movement – cannot be taken out of context. Jun looks at you as soon as Jihoon is finished talking, then turns to stare at him and laughs. Yeah, everybody knows, but nobody understands. It’s the case of poor Mingyu and cold-hearted you.

“I need to get myself a drink.”

He perks up instantly. “Oh, I can go get it-“

“No. Thank you.” Mingyu freezes in place as if struck by a cold breath down his neck. “I’m perfectly capable of getting it myself.”

His following gaze accompanies you until the crowd takes over. When under the influence, Mingyu can be a bit… intense. He doesn’t mean wrong, he’s just helpless when it comes to love. Your rejection gave him a lot of pain, then you didn’t handle things well and it isn’t wrong to say the guy still has some hope.

“Thanks.” The beer may not be the best anesthetic, but you’re lost on what to do with your free time. The club is full of strangers. Aside from your bandmates, nobody can charm you with company.

“You guys don’t mind the loud music?” Jihoon and Jun look up at you.

“Do we look like the library type?” The latter laughs at his own joke, turning to check whether his friend is just as amused. Jihoon just smiles and nods.

“From the distance you sure do.” A third beer bottle is placed on the small table. “Entertain me, please?”

“Mingyu looked pretty eager to entertain you over there.” Jun’s snickering has your eyes rolling. No need to make you feel even shittier.

“Save it. He’s just drunk. Give him a minute and he’ll be entertaining someone else.”

Nobody responds to that. You’re sitting in perfect silence, though your surroundings are anything but silent. People move around, twisting, jumping, licking each other’s faces off and among them sits a somber you. Mingyu’s disappointment haunts your memories. You want the thoughts gone. Swig after swig, you meticulously complete a circle of taking and putting away your beer. Next to you Jihoon nods to Jun’s comments. How nice would it be to enjoy yourself? Maybe if you’ve just done what Mingyu wanted of you – fallen for him – clubs would be a drama-free experience? Maybe-

“Want to go for a smoke?” Jihoon offers you the sight of his lighter. It surprises you – firstly, just a moment ago you were lost in thoughts. Secondly, of course, Jihoon knows you do not enjoy nicotine. You’ve told him yourself. The thing is, something about his asking gaze lets you know that the smoke isn’t about smoking.

“Yeah, why the hell not.”

“Huh?” Jun looks back at you, surprised, meanwhile Jihoon doesn’t comment on the sudden change of heart. It’s a wordless understanding between the two of you. “You’re smoking now? Since when?” Both you and Jihoon ignore the third party. “Hello?”

Outside is nice. Though the city air is polluted, it’s a mare of freshness – a change from the overused breath of sweaty partygoers.

You inhale a big swig in and watch as the smoke-like creation escapes your lips. Jihoon is silent for a longer moment, until he realizes he doesn’t have a cigarette out. He takes a moment to search pockets, slapping every single one loudly, before he sighs in victory. A paper pack is produced out of his jeans, along with a lighter he hid before leaving.

“Shit. Empty.” You offer a sympathetic smile to the discovery. “I don’t suppose… Of course not.”

“Haven’t considered keeping an emergency lighter.”

“Maybe you should start.” He answers, staring dejectedly at his untouched cigarettes. “Be a step ahead of me.”

It’s a fun thought to imagine – offering Jihoon a lighter before he can even find his. Watching surprise bloom on his cold features. Stopping yourself from smiling in answer. Feeling useful to someone. Doesn’t mean you’ll make it happen. You don’t plan on encouraging his smoking habits. Also, the possibility feels too intimate. Like a comforting kiss shared between lovers, with an exception being that you do not plan on kissing Jihoon’s lips.

It makes you wonder how desperate to escape Mingyu’s affection you must’ve looked back then, so that Jihoon, someone you aren’t in any way close to, took it upon himself to cheer you up.

“Are you alright?” He asks, fingers still gripping the sad pack of cigarettes.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

For a moment you lack proper words, so you wave hands around, doing your best to confine the meaning in your gestures. “The whole… consoling thing. Why are you consoling me?”

“Well,” Jihoon looks embarrassed. “I saw you and Mingyu and- Ekhm, you looked uncomfortable. Or bored? I’m not nosy, or anything. I just felt like you may need someone to help you get your mind off of it.”

Through his hard features and bored eyes, you can take a glimpse at a man who’s interested in people in his close surroundings. Feels nice to be taken care of.

“I’m used to it. You can’t really control your feelings, so I don’t hold it against Mingyu.”

Jihoon stands quiet for a moment, his eyes staring at your feet. You aren’t sure what’s so interesting to him in your boots. A group of drunks passes the two of you, laughing at something you lack the context of. Neither of you acknowledge the disruption.

“Here’s the thing – you shouldn’t get used to it. He needs to learn boundaries.” His words irritate you. After all, they’re an accusatory finger directed at someone who’s your close friend.

“You’re talking about him like he’s some predator.” He does nothing to correct you. “Mingyu’s just lovestruck, doesn’t mean me any hurt. I don’t need your protection, Jihoon. I’m capable of dealing with this myself.”

“I know you can deal with it, but… You need to stop yourself from putting it away. It won’t do any of you good.”

His confidence in a diagnosis that’s nothing but wrong has you fuming. If you weren’t under the influence, you’d have the strength to explain your situation. But in the current context? With alcohol buzzing, embarrassment plaguing and coldness biting? Your exterior is a fragile egg shell, about to be dropped on a hard surface.

“Fuck you.”

“(y/n)-“

“You know nothing about Mingyu and I, so- Fuck you, really.”

“I didn’t mean-“ but you’re already marching back inside. “Where are you going?” Hot tears stream down your cheeks. Why are you so mad? “(y/n)!”

The truth is, you don’t understand what does Mingyu see in the night you. They’re just clad in darkness, hoping to keep the nocturnal thoughts away. But the night brings you nothing but sadness. The power is a mask for contradictory powerlessness. You’re so lost on what to do, how to feel, you depend on wordless passiveness, along with the hope that someday the hardships will pass.

“(y/n)!” Strong arms hang on your neck. Mingyu reminds you of a small child and that’s why you know the feelings you’d want to push yourself into feeling won’t happen. “Where did you go?”

“Let’s go, you’re too drunk.”

“Too drunk on my love for you?” You choose to ignore Jihoon’s presence. He followed you all the way back. Fuck his caring nature. Fuck his stubbornness. Fuck the night and its consequences.

“Yeah, yeah.” Two pairs of eyes stare intensely at your face. “You’re suffocating me.”

Mingyu weakens his grip, but laughs. One of his hands lets go and is instantly grabbed by Jihoon who pulls it over his shoulder. Together, you lead the man out, both avoiding Jun’s confused stare.

Fuck the night.

➛ To be continued.

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios