#adam feeling horrible about the things he said to shiro before he left for kerberos

[koliveitor]

just thought of this potential angsty scenario where after the kerberos mission keith and adam are both are in so much grief they end up in bed with each other.

[lusciakoushiro]

I Thought Family Meant Something

Was gonna space this out, but feel the urge to keep going, so let’s dive into the next question. In the interview it was said that telling about Shiro’s family would have been “repetitive” which could translate into boring.  All the other Paladins, including Allura, had mentions of their families, so why not Shiro?

Now to be fair, The Holts and Krolia had bigger parts to play, even Veronica gets some screen time. But they still give Hunk a family, a large one at that, and Lance is shown not only talking about his own big family, they get shown when he returns to Earth in season 7 and get actual interaction with them in season 8. Other than being driving forces to get home, the family members held no real weight (The Holts and Krolia withstanding). So why not say something about Shiro’s family?

This was a man who went into the military/space program, which I would think is a big deal and he excelled at it, but at the same time was fighting for his life in a matter of speaking while being ill. You can’t tell me his family didn’t have problems with it and maybe sided with Adam in the matter or were actually supportive of what he wanted to do. Either way, something in passing could have easily been said; a small scene of the Paladins getting to know each other early on or even in a flashback with Keith  pre-Kerberos. In a previous interview, one of the EPs said that Shiro’s disease was a hint as to what happened to his family; so are we to assume his whole family succumbed to that illness too? Both his parents, grand parents, possible siblings? That’s a horrible thought to say the least.

But let’s run with it; if he his family died off that makes them coming back to Earth that much sadder. Keith knew Krolia was away with Kolivan, so he had no one waiting for him on Earth, but he didn’t expect to. Pidge was reunited with her mom at least so she knows all of her family is safe (even Bae Bae), Lance gets mobbed by his large family and though Hunk’s were held captive, they did return to him safe and sound at the end of season 7. But Shiro was all alone! No one was waiting for him and then when the scene shifts we see a 60 second (or there about) scene of him saying sorry to Adam. He was ALL ALONE and had zero time to grieve. Yes, there was a war, but everyone got to see and talk to their families and Shiro can’t get a proper scene to let out his sadness or possible regret?

So now let’s say Shiro did have family. I know we have JK’s HC that he was raised by his grand parents and most fanon (including me) runs with it, but for this let’s say he has his parents and a brother. Imagine the horror they felt when hearing about the pilot error only to find out he is alive and not only alive, but that he no longer is sick. Shiro who had the heaviest of backstories would have had a happy reunion and possibly would have had people with him when visiting Adam’s plaque, providing comfort he sorely needed after all this time. Hell there could have just been a small scene with a phone call to show he was talking to them. 

But no, instead they give him more heartache to get over.

Aren’t the Paladins his family? Well of course they are, the thing I loved about the show early on was the aspect of found family. Shiro and Keith were certainly that from the pre-Kerberos days all the way through season 7. But even found family wasn’t there for him when they returned to Earth. He introduces Coran and Allura, who also know no one on Earth, but then is left alone. Though they did not know Adam, having them in the scene at the wall would have been even more emotional cause they showed they cared. And honestly, when the screen pans to show Iverson I was so disappointed. Though Iverson has probably known Shiro since he was a cadet, there really isn’t a family kind of vibe with him. Due to not having family on Earth and knowing Shiro, along with Shiro’s romantic relationship with Adam, it should have been Keith to go to him. Time and again we have seen both of these characters let their guards down for each other. This would have been one of those times that it was needed as Shiro himself had tears in his eyes as he said he was sorry. We never see anyone really comfort Shiro, but he is there for everyone else.

There are two different kinds of family that we see here and as we see with Keith’s character arc; knowing where you come from is important. For us as the audience I feel that it is important to know little things about the characters to round them out. Even if something like an immediate family that isn’t meant to be the focus, hearing that they have one is important and it is just something you learn about the character. “Oh Shiro has a brother!” or “Aw, his mom died to that same illness”. We want these reactions because it means we care about the character and are invested.

In terms of the found family, I feel that his love and comfort doesn’t go both ways, save for Keith and Allura. We see him comforting Pidge early on and he even gives her the choice to leave Voltron. Whether he could read Lance’s insecurity or not, he still gave the praise of “that’s why we bring our sharp shooter”, making him happy. Hunk, honestly had no real interactions with him and that’s a shame cause them cooking probably would have been hilarious. But going the other way? Nope. When Keith was grieving their thoughts of Shiro were rather one note. We heard Lance once before say Shiro was his hero and though Shiro might have heard that lot from people, seeing Lance actually talk to him about why he looks up to him would have been a nice pick me up for him due to everything that happened before he crashed on Earth. Or Pidge feeling sad about not being able to find Matt and Sam; having Shiro tell some stories about the mission to help ease her mind and in turn have her go off on how he was a legend at their house, again, would have been a nice pick me up, to help ease his confused and aching mind.

When Keith finds him and proclaims he’ll save him “as many times as it takes”, in a Form Podcast episode, it was said that the other Paladins did go and see him while he recovered. However, same episode cause the scenes were back to back, the line of “you’re looking better”, was originally Keith’s, but they changed it to Lance. Due to us not seeing the others talking to him or even talking with each other about Shiro, it would have fit more for Keith to say it instead. This is just one of many things that don’t quite make sense unless you go behind the scenes like that.

So how could us finding out about his blood family or having other moments with his found family been boring or repetitive, when they gave us an entire episode showing Honerva’s backstory in season 8 and most of that we had already seen from a previous season? Shiro was already a complex character, us just finding out about his family in away would have just been another tidbit about him.

[melalot]

Confused Part 2

ao3 link

"Doesn’t he look so happy?” Hunk whispered beside him. Lance dropped the pen he was using to scribble onto a sheet of paper and poked his head up to look at Hunk.

“Who looks so happy?” Lance asked, unsure of who Hunk was talking about. Hunk pointed straight ahead to the Kitchen in the lounging area they were seated at. He saw Shiro and Adam, their hands were intertwined on the counter and they seemed to be laughing about something.

Lance grinned at the image. Shiro did look really happy. He can tell by the way he beamed at Adam and the laugh lines that formed around his mouth. His eyes were smiling as well, with those small wrinkles at the very corners of each of them. He looked so content, so in love, it made Lance’s heart swell with happiness.

“Yeah…He does look happy,” he agreed with Hunk after a moment. He went back to scribble on his paper to keep his hand occupied and moving.

For a while, his mind drifted off into the events that had taken place in the last two months. Two months ago Lance had come up to Shiro to share what was bothering him. It had been two months since he started learning how to accept the part of him that pushed away for so many years.

It wasn’t easy. That was for sure. He lived his whole life trying to hide himself from the truth. He wondered just how many experiences he lost because of his fear. But, he didn’t want to dwell on that, he knew his reasoning and he wasn’t going to let it get in the way of his progress. There was no more denying it. From the day he talked to Shiro to now, Lance had began to accept himself and doing what Shiro had suggested. To let himself feel.

Since then, Lance had done some of the silliest things in order to make himself feel better. One of them was looking at the bisexual pride flag. There was something about those blue, purple, and pink stripes that gave him the funniest little feeling. He could go on everyday knowing he didn’t have a lame flag anymore but a beautiful one.

The sound of the doors hissing open is what snapped him out of his thoughts. He lifted his head up to see someone in white boots, tight black jeans, and a red cadet jacket. His hands were covered in those annoying yet endearing fingerless gloves and his black hair was slightly longer, yet it looked really soft.

Keith.

His heart thumped a little when he realized that Keith was in the room now. He saw his violet eyes drawn to Shiro and Adam. He looked happy. His mouth curved up into a small smile, and honestly, Lance knew he was trying to hide how joyful he really felt to see Shiro so at ease as if all the worries of his past didn’t exist anymore with the sight of Adam right in front of him.

It made his heart ache a little. He was thinking about what it would be like if he was in Shiro’s

place but he was holding hands with Keith and giving him those bright smiles. And what it would be like if Keith was the one looking at him fondly as if he was his entire world.

But he knew it wouldn’t happen. Keith was busy and clearly not interested in him. And it wasn’t like Lance was planning to open up anytime sooner. He was still not comfortable with himself and he didn’t think he could offer a good relationship to anyone like this.

He was taken out of his thoughts when he felt someone slide into a chair to his left. He looked to see who it was when he saw Keith. He quickly glanced back to where he was looking previously and back to Keith, thinking what the fuck?

He tried to clear his face from the sudden shock and went back to drawing on his paper to distract himself from Keith’s presence.

“Hey, what are you guys up to?” Keith asked, his eyes darting between Lance and Hunk.

Lance struggled with finding a response since just a moment ago, he was staring at Keith who was in front of him but now he is beside him. Thankfully, Hunk saved him from the awkward silence and further embarrassment.

“Well, we were looking at Shiro and Adam, since they seem so happy and all you know?” Hunk answered as he propped his elbows on the table as he folded his hands.

Keith glanced at Shiro and Adam one more time before looking at Lance and Hunk again. “Yeah, I’m glad that he seems happy too.”

“It’s kinda weird,” Lance said after a moment. Keith furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. “To see Shiro seem so lightweight, ” he said unsteadily as he tried to find the words. ”After all these years he’s always been so serious. Now it's like all of his problems have….lifted?” he said, hoping to make some sense now.

He saw Keith’s face relax and he nodded in understanding. “Shiro hasn’t been himself for a very long time. He hasn’t ever since he got captured by the Galra on the Kerberos mission…” Keith sighed at the bad memories and rested his cheek on his hand. “With his arm being removed, his PTSD, and entering straight into war…He sorta lost himself I guess. But now that we saved all realities everywhere and that there are no more intergalactic wars to worry about….Well, he has Adam again now, and he…..He makes him happy.”

Lance studied Keith for a second. His eyes sparkled, and he looked at Shiro and Adam wit gentle smile, it made Lance’s stomach do summersaults.

“You love him don’t you?” Lance asked.

Keith eyed him warily before answering. “He’s my brother, of course, I do.”

Lance nodded and continued scribbling on his paper until he heard a soft chuckle.

“What are you even doing drawing irregular patterns?” Keith asked curiously but Lance could hear that it was also sort of a tease with the tone of his voice.

Lance set his pen down and shrugged,  “I don’t know, keeps my hands busy.”

Keith grabbed the pen and flipped the paper over on its blank side and started drawing some curves and lines.

“What are you doing?” Lance questioned and he tried to move forward to see the paper.  Keith continued drawing a side-eyed Lance. “Drawing? What else would I be doing?”

Lance scoffed, “But you’re a horrible drawer.”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him and smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he slid the paper over for Lance to see. “Am I really?”

Lance scanned the paper and his eyes grew wide in surprise. Right away he can tell that the drawing on the paper was Kosmo, Keith’s cosmic wolf. But, it was drawn in a cartoon version, and it looked cute. There was no imperfection, it was drawn perfectly.

“How?” Lance exclaimed, not meaning to sound as loud as he did.“But...The game show?” he asked suspiciously.

“I can’t draw well under pressure Lance. But, I have always drawn whenever I was bored to keep myself occupied,” Keith answered as he set the pen down.

Lance grabbed the pen and tapped it on the table. “Well, it’s a really good drawing of Kosmo, ” Lance said offering a smile.

“Thanks,” Keith said. “Can you draw?”

Lance tossed his head back a little and laughed. “Not to save my life, that’s why I was scribbling.”

Hunk placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, “Oh man! You should see the time he had to draw a flower for this one science project he had a couple of years ago. It ended up looking like a 3-year-old did it!”

Lance’s face reddened, “Oh come on Hunk! Art isn’t my strong point! You know that!”

Hunk chuckled, “Yeah, thankfully it was Keith chosen to do the Pictionary at the game show and not you. We would have probably died if you were chosen for that part.”

Lance deflated as he started to remember that day. The part he played there and all the names he was called. But nothing hurt more than Keith’s reasoning as to why he chose Lance to leave.

I just don’t want to be stuck here for eternity with Lance.

He gripped on the pen tightly then got up from his seat and shoved the paper in his pocket. “I just remembered that Veronica needed me for something. See you guys later.”

He walked out of the room and felt all pairs of eyes on him. But he tried not to dwell on it. He needed go get rid of the feeling of his chest tightening on him.

xxx

Lance plugged in the code to open the training room door and watched it open as it revealed the Atlas crew walking around chatting and training. He scanned the room for Veronica but couldn’t find her.

He was so distracted looking for his sister that he hadn’t noticed someone walk u next to him, it was Rizavi.

“Hey Lance, what brings you around here?” she asked him grinning.

“Oh nothing much really,” he replied looking around the room. “I’m just looking for my sister, have you seen her?”

“Veronica?” She questioned.

“Yup, that’s the one.”

She pointed across the room and in the distance, he saw Veronica’s short brown hair and her glasses. He smiled to himself before thanking Rizavi and heading towards Veronica.

Once he approached her he sat near her and she stopped what she was doing to look down at him.

“Hey hermanita, what are you up to?” Lance teased.

She flung the towel she was using so that it rested on her shoulder and joined Lance on the floor then elbowed her brother. “Well, I was exercising but, someone decided to interrupt me.” she gave him a pointed look.

Lance grinned mischievously at her and rose an eyebrow, ”Just wanted to see my favorite sister.”

Veronica looked at him in disbelief and scoffed.”I thought that was Rachel, seeing how she is your twin sister and all?”

” Pfft, her?” Lance muttered. ”Being inside the womb with her for nine months was enough.” Veronica laughed as she brought an arm around Lance and brought him in closer.

”Yeah, ” she said. ”But you missed her.”

Lance sighed and felt his chest getting heavy. His throat started to close up but, he managed to talk still, ”missed all of you.” Lance said, his voice cracking.

Veronica frowned and brought him in closer, ”What’s wrong hermanito? We’re all here now.”

Lance let out a shuddering breath and suddenly he felt a huge weight inside him drop like an elevator. His breaths became short and his heart rate sped up. All of the bad memories in Space started swallowing him up. His moments of self-doubt, the darkest moments of his insecurities, his isolation, his homesickness, not having his family to go to throughout this whole time,  the void he felt when Keith left the team, the feelings he had for Allura, his near-death experience, the game show. Everything came crashing down at full force and he didn’t know how to stop it. He couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from his face and fell onto his lap.

He both of Veronica’s arms pulling him in now and his face was pushed into her chest as she rubbed his arm soothingly and ushered small reassurances. “Lance, I need you to breathe in 4 and out 7 and keep repeating it. I’ll do it with you,” she directed softly.

He did as Veronica told him to and repeated the steps over and over. His heart rate slowed down a bit and breathing became easier, but the knot in his stomach and the emotions that he felt spreading through his chest didn’t stop.

“What are you thinking mi hermanito?” She murmured worryingly.

“Everything,” he choked out in a sob. “All these emotions that I’ve held inside for such a long time keep coming and I don’t know what’s happening right now or how to stop it.”

She ran a hand through his hair and held him. He felt safe in the arms of his older sister. He wrapped his arms around her and clung onto her as if she would disappear if he let go. He continued to cry into her chest.

“You’re having an anxiety attack, Lance. How about you tell me what’s on your mind? It might make you feel better,” she suggested.

He hesitated for a moment. How would she feel if she told him about how he died? About his insecurities? About Keith ?

He decided to take the risk. If she was truly his sister, she would understand. He inhaled a deep breath in before everything spilled out.

He told her everything. About how he isolated himself and how he questioned his placement on the team for a long time. About how Allura brought him back to life after he pushed her lion out of the way before the blast could get to her. He told her about everything including Keith.

When he finished, he waited for her response. But it was only silence. He feared that this could be the last time he would be in his sisters arms and that maybe she hadn’t taken the news about Keith very well. He tried to remove himself before he felt her arms tighten around him. He sucked in a breath and shut his eyes preparing for the worst.

“So Keith huh?”

The way she said that had sent a chill down Lance’s spine. This was a bad idea he thought. This was the last time he would see his sister after such a long time. This was the last-

He felt tears soak through his shoulder and heard sniffles. He looked up to see Veronica’s soft blue eyes with tears swimming in them. The image made Lance’s heart drop. “Veronica?” he asked in a shaky voice.

She kissed his cheek, “I love you so much, Lance. My love for you has never changed and it won’t ever change. You know that right?”

Lance chest bubbled with laughs and felt more tears come. This time it wasn’t over sadness. “Oh my god,” he breathed. Relief coursing through his body.

They both sat there crying and holding onto each other. He was glad they were at the far back corner of the room so no one could see them.

Once he had calmed down he let go of her embrace and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand. He laughed seeing as Veronica was doing the same. “God we’re such a mess,” he mumbled.

Veronica shook her head,  “It’s okay to be a mess in these moments.”

Lance rested his head on her shoulder. “Are you surprised?” Lance whispered.

He felt her nodding. “A little bit. But, we can’t ever fully know with everyone.”

He looked up at her and his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

Veronica smiled. “I mean, that not everyone fully discovers themselves at a young age like others, and some people realize their sexuality in their late 20’s. It’s not a surprise anymore at this day and age. Sure you always appeared to be the ‘ladies man’ but, even I know that we can’t fully believe that when things change.”

Lance let that process. It was true. Things change. Things are more acceptable. And he also didn’t fully realize this about himself until Keith came along as if he was his “bi awakening” or whatever. His mouth quirked upward.

“Jee Veronica, you say that as if you come from experience,” he teased.

Veronica scoffed and nudged him, “Who says it wasn’t?”

Lance jolted upward and looked at Veronica as if she had spoken in another language, “Y-you? What!” Lance sputtered.

She clamped his mouth shut, “Calm down Lance,” she muttered. “Yes, I like girls.”

He removed her hand from his mouth, “Who was your awakening?” he asked, his eyes squinting.

A blush spread across her face as she looked off into the distance. He followed her gaze and saw Axca doing acrobatics in front of the other MFE pilots.

“Axca?” He shrieked.

Veronica covered his mouth again, “Dammit, Lance! Announce it to the whole world will you? Keep it down!” Veronica chided.

Lance collected himself before he thought to continue the conversation. “Since when?” He asked.

She crossed her arms over her knees and stared off to where Axca was. She sighed, “A little before the war ended, but I haven’t made any moves since I’m not sure how she feels or what she thinks of me.”

Lance nodded in understanding. He glanced at his sister. Her eyes were still rimmed in red and she had dry tear marks splotched on her cheeks. She was still sniffling, and although it was sad to see her that way. He felt better knowing why she was crying.

“How do you think Mami and Papi would feel and the rest of our family Vee ?” he asked softly.

Veronica removed her glasses and placed them on the ground. She rubbed her face them squeezed Lance’s shoulder softly, “Honestly? I don’t think they would care. They taught us how to love someone wholeheartedly no matter the differences. They might be a bit surprised, but they love us, Lance.” She looked at him and smiled, “And you won’t have to do it alone. I’ll be right there with you. I’m proud of you and all you have accomplished little bro.”

Yeah, Lance thought to himself. He wouldn’t be doing it alone anymore.

xxx

A month later Lance and Veronica had settled on telling the family.

He was very anxious and backed out multiple times, but once he felt the reassuring squeeze Veronica had given him on his hand, he felt better.

They both told them after that. It was a night filled with sobs and so much hugging. But one thing stayed true that night. He was still Lance. He was still their son. And their love for him would never change just like Veronica had promised him. With his family knowing, he felt invincible.

A week later Lance walked into the lounging area at the Garrison.

He looked around the room and saw Pidge sitting with Hunk and they were debating about technical engineering advancements at the Garrison. Shiro, Adam, and Keith were chatting near the kitchen counter as Allura and Coran were figuring out how to make coffee.

It settled in on Lance on how everyone was here. Everyone was together in this room again. The new family that he had found in space.

He’d frozen in his tracks unable to move as anxiety started to curl up on him. This was his chance to tell them. Everyone was here and this wasn’t something that happened very often anymore. Lance knew they wouldn’t care, yet he still felt so scared.

He inhaled a breath and once he had escaped his thoughts he saw everyone looking at him worriedly.  

”Lance, are you okay?” It was Shiro who broke the silence.

Lance gave him a small smile. ”Me? Yeah, I’m feeling peachy, just zoned out for a bit, ” he assured.

“That’s my word,” Pidge mumbled.

Lance gave her his classic finger guns.

”Alright then, how about you sit down and join us?” Allura asked him.

Lance messed around with his sleeve anxiously and bit his lip. ”Actually… I was wondering if I can talk to you guys about something?”

If they weren’t listening before they were now. The team all moved to sit on the sofa as Lance sat on the empty seat in front of them.

Lance continued to fiddle around with his sleeve as if it was the only thing keeping him at ground at the moment.

“Whenever you’re ready buddy,” Hunk said softly.

Lance inhaled. “So, I know this is something you guys won’t take badly and that I probably should of done this a long time ago...But, I wasn’t ready?”

He studied their faces for anything that would stop him from continuing, but they were all encouraging. Shiro looked surprised like he knew what was going on but couldn’t believe it was actually going to happen.

Lance decided he could continue. “For a long time, I was at constant war with myself. I struggled with accepting the truth of something that was a very big part of me. And to this day, I’m still struggling.”

Lance let out a shaky breath, “But, it has been easier. And I know this is something I should have been okay with the way the world is now, but it wasn’t that way with me. I was terrified.”

“Lance? What are you trying to say?” Pidge asked gently.

Lance looked at her and tried for a smile, but it wavered. “I’m trying to say that for a long time, I tried to erase the fact that I was bisexual,” he breathed.

There was a bit of silence. The room had suddenly felt cold and Lance tensed up. This was exactly why he hated the whole having to “come out” thing. It was so awkward and so terrifying.

Shiro was the first one to recover from the shock. “You finally let yourself feel didn’t you?” he chuckled.

Lance couldn’t fight the tears he was holding up anymore. He wiped them away and mustered a laugh, “Yes. Yes, Shiro, I did. And I couldn’t have done it without you,” he sighed. “Recently I had a talk with Veronica. She is bisexual too apparently, and we both told our family and I feel way better.”

Suddenly he was engulfed in a tight embrace from Shiro. “I’m so proud of you Lance,” he said.

“Oh man, I can’t be left out from this!” Hunk said though he sounded a bit emotional. Hunk was always a supportive softie.

Then he felt multiple weights crush him. He heard sniffling from a good majority of them.

“Oh Lance, I’m so glad you figured it out.” Pidge sniffled as she clung onto his arm.

“Yeah buddy, its  like what Shiro said back when Pidge confessed that she was a girl. Owning up to yourself makes everything much easier,” he said supportively.

“Although it is quite a bit of a surprise,” Allura said. “I am very happy for you Lance.”

“Oh my boy, what a happy moment to cherish!” Coran beamed.

He heard a soft chuckle to his left. And he knew it was Keith. “We’re very happy for you Lance,” he paused for a moment. “Is this a good time to say I’m gay?”

Laughter erupted in the room from everyone and their embraces only tightened. Though Lance’s heart pounded. Keith was gay.

He held onto everyone tighter and cried. Them being huddled so close reminded him of the time everyone crushed Keith into a big group hug before he left, it was a day filled with a lot of tears, yet a lot of support. Very similar to what Lance was feeling now.

For once, it felt like the weight that was on his shoulders had finally lifted in the span of a few minutes.

xxx

After all the chaos from the morning, Lance climbed up on the roof of the Garrison and admired the view. The sun was setting and it was his favorite time of day. He missed the sunsets from Earth. Seeing it again after all this time made him feel at ease. Everything seemed to fall into place in his life right now. And everything was almost perfect.

Lance heard footsteps behind him and he poked his head to the side to see a mop of black hair. “Keith?” he asked as Keith took a spot next to him. “Yup, that’s my name” he assured.

Lance felt nervous, he hadn’t been alone with Keith in a long time. Every other time they had their rivalry thing going on. But now? Things were different between them and there are many things that they have been needing to talk about but never have.

“What brings you here mullet?” he asked, thinking back to the nickname he used for him.

Keith sighed, “You aren’t ever going to let go of the name aren’t you?”

Lance grinned. “As long as it stays a mullet, it’s going to be called a mullet.”

Keith seemed to be thinking for a second, “Then maybe I should chop it off.”

Lance gaped at him. “Keith! No! I’m joking if you don’t want me to call it a mullet that badly just ask me.” Lance said trying to assure Keith as anxiety twisted in his stomach.

“It’s okay Lance, I don’t take it to heart,”  he chuckled assuring him that he never took any offense in the name.

They both stared off into the distance watching the sun slowly go down as the stars slowly start to appear above. It’s amazing how with all the stars Lance has seen throughout his time in Space, watching them on hundreds of skies and multiple solar systems, he never gets tired of seeing them from Earth. It calms him down, finally knowing he’s home.

Lance thought back to the events of the day of how he came out to everyone. He smiled to himself and Keith seemed to notice.

“What has you smiling like that?” He questioned.

Lance looked into his violet eyes and tried to tell his heart to shut up.

“Just the fact that you said ‘I’m gay’ after I came out,” he said shaking his head as he laughed a little.

Keith rose an eyebrow. “Well it’s true, might as well, it’s not something I ever really had much of a problem with honestly.”

“How was it?” Lance asked.

Keith looked off into the sunset again, with the sun going down a shadow casted on his face, it made him look breathtakingly gorgeous. It was unfair how someone could look so pretty so effortlessly. “Well, it wasn’t always easy,” he started. “I always knew though? Like, once I knew enough about dating and kissing I started to realize well ‘oh, I don’t want to kiss a girl, I want to kiss that guy’ and it kinda went on from there?”

Lance listened intently to Keith, curious about his experience with his sexuality now that he was open about his own.

“I did get bullied though, at the Garrison,” he admitted. “People would complain about me being in the boys' locker room. It was a kid named Tim I believe who always seemed to spread it around. It sucked...But, it didn’t bring me down.”

The name Tim rang a bell in Lance’s head.

Doesn’t it bother you?

Lance grit his teeth. “That idiot,” he spit out.

Keith looked at him, concern evident in his eyes, “What’s wrong?”

Lance clenched his hand in a small fist. “I remember that kid from my times at the Garrison. I remember him coming up to me once in the locker room, asking me if a kid in the distance bothered me because he was gay and we were in the same locker room.” Lance squeezed his fist tighter as the memories became clearer, “I think the kid was you, now that I think about it,” he looked at Keith and his face was blank, but he knew he was still listening. He inhaled through his nose, “I remember being so pissed off and storming out of the locker room because people like that is what made me so scared to accept myself,” his voice cracked at the last word.“I’m sorry you had to go through that, it wasn’t fair.”

Keith gave him a reassuring smile, “That’s in the past Lance, it’s okay now. Don’t you feel much better now that you accepted it?”

“Yeah,” Lance said happily.“Yeah, I do.”

It was quiet for a minute. He looked around and it settled in that he and Keith were alone. Like really alone. He knew it before but he didn’t fully grasp it until now. It was a perfect opportunity to bring up all the things that were left unsaid between them.

He was about to open his mouth to say something but Keith beat him to it.

“Do you remember when we were stranded in Space before we got to Earth?” he asked.

Of course, Lance remembered. They were in the middle of nowhere, with no food, no lions, nothing but each other. They had all started to get angry with each other with the lack of sleep and all of the isolation.

He remembered what he said that day.

Keith, you ran away, maybe you should have just stayed away.

Panic coursed through Lance’s body, “Keith, I didn’t mean anything I-”

“No Lance,” Keith interrupted. “I want to explain why I left.”

Lance waited.

“When you came into my room a couple of days before, you looked so defeated. I couldn’t just, not do anything about it.”

Lance sat there fiddling around with his boot laces as he waited for Keith to finish.

“I had the opportunity with the Blade of Marmora to go on missions, and the black lion could finally reconnect with Shiro. You had a part on Team Voltron Lance. If I was able to have a role in something else that let you keep a lion and stay with the team, then I was going to take it.”

Keith had shut his eyes as if that took a lot to finally admit.

“I was just hurt,” Lance said after a minute. Keith opened his eyes then and his violet irises bore into Lance’s blue ones.

“When you left Voltron, I just felt alone. Everyone was doing their own thing and I just didn’t have anything to do. But, I understand why you left now, and it’s okay.”

“And…” Lance started, “I know this probably doesn’t matter now, but I do remember the bonding moment. I just wasn’t ready to accept it, and I’m sorry if that ever hurt you.”

It felt as if all the air inside him was released. He was finally able to admit it now, after all this time he beat himself up because he had told Keith that the bonding moment had never happened. And he knew how important bonding with others was to Keith, finally admitting that he remembered it now felt as if every knot inside him was released.

He felt a hand on his knee and looked down to see Keith’s small pale hand. He looked up to see his purple eyes, staring into him with a glint of tears. Oh no.

“Keith..I-”

“Of course, it still matters Lance,” he swallowed and looked into the dark sky for a second before looking back at Lance. “It was the moment I fell for you.” His shakily. He sounded so broken, and yet, Lance couldn’t believe he had just heard Keith say those words.

“W-What?” Lance breathed.

“I like you, Lance,” Keith confirmed. “I have since that moment.

”But the game show?” Lance whispered.

Keith’s cheek reddened. ”I didn’t like being put under pressure like that, and what I really wanted to say was too obvious about the way I felt about you. I didn’t want you to find out, not like that.” Keith sighed and shook his head so that his bangs were covering his face to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.

”And what I said wasn’t obvious?” Lance barely audible. But Keith heard it, he always does.

”You...What?” Keith choked out.

”I liked you Keith, and I still do,” he admitted. “I was in no position to tell you though. Not when I was scared of my feelings, ” he shuddered. He felt the anxiety in his stomach and he felt his face growing hot as every word spilled out.

”Did you ever plan on telling me?” Keith asked.

”Did you? There wasn’t ever a right time.” Lance answered sadly.

Keith shifted closer and Lance felt his body warm up as the distance closed little by little.

”We have all the time now, ” Keith murmured, his hand squeezing Lance’s knee a little tighter.

Lance felt like it was appropriate to rest his hand on top of Keith’s. His hand was big enough to cover all of Keith’s and he smiled a little nervously at the intimate gesture.

Keith tilted his up a little and looked into Lance’s eyes. Those cerulean blue eyes that sparkled even when it was dark out.

He leaned in closer hesitantly and placed his hand on Lance’s cheek. He pressed his forehead against Lance’s and Lance gasped softly.

”You know, ” Lance murmured as he stared into those dark violet eyes. ”There’s this saying that the right time doesn’t exist but only the right person does.”

Slowly their eyes closed and they leaned in. Their lips met, and for once, everything felt like it was supposed to be this way. Like it wasn’t wrong to kiss Keith. This was the person he was destined to be with. No voice was telling him this was wrong, nothing was stopping him. He deepened the kiss a little more.

Keith’s lips were warm. His lips were a bit inexperienced but they moved with so much fire and so much passion like he was putting years of closed up feelings into one kiss.

With all the stories said about how everyone’s first kiss sucks, this wasn’t the case. He longed for this, all these years wondering what it felt like to kiss a boy, to kiss Keith. He felt like he was on top of the world.

They separated for air and their hot breaths fanned across each others faces. Lance opened his eyes to see the blush spreading across Keith’s face. He looked so breathtaking.

”Lance, ” he whispered.

Lance nodded against his forehead and brought his hand to cup Keith’s cheek. It was warm, but he squeezed it lightly in encouragement.

”When I was in the quantum abyss, my Mom told me the reason as to why she left, and I think I could apply it to something else, ” he said nervously.

”You can say it Keith, ” Lance assured.

”She told me she left to protect the person she most loved. And I know this is too early but, ” he paused for a moment hesitating.

Lance felt his heart rate pick up. The blood rushing through his head and the pounding through his ears.

”After hearing that. I think it's the other part as to why I left, ” he murmured a little shakily.

Lance’s heart was in his throat and he went in for another kiss. This time more gentle, but the passion was still there.

Keith loved him. This perfect, beautiful, gorgeous boy of a hot head loved him. To Lance, that meant everything.

Keith chased after his lips and they kissed until they were out of breath again. Their lips were pink and swollen and their chests were rising and falling.

After a moment Lance took Keith’s hand and laced their fingers together. He squeezed his hand tightly and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss.

He tugged their hands to his chest and placed it right on his heart. They could both feel Lance’s rapid heart beat.

”You’re the right person for me Keith, ” he said softly. A tear managed to slip and Keith wiped it away with his thumb.

He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Keith’s middle and rested his head in the crook of Keith’s neck. He felt Keith’s strong arms embrace him and his chin rested on Lance’s head. His fingers ran through Lance’s hair and it was soothing. Keith felt warm, safe. He was sure he could stay in his arms forever and he’d die happy.

He rose his head up a little, just enough for his lips to be pressed against Keith’s ear, “If it wasn’t obvious, ” he whispered softly. ”I also love you.”

He pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek. They stayed there holding each other and stealing some more kisses.

But one thing was certain as they pressed up closer against each other in every passing second as they and watched the stars.

Lance wasn’t confused anymore. He was sure of this feeling, and he accepted it. As long as it means he can give his whole heart to Keith.

[thesmollostbean3]

Never walking away (Shadam reunion)

They are home

The lions slowly descended around the Garrison headquarters, creating a crowd of instructors and students running outside to see what on Earth is going on. The sky was slowly turning into bright yellows and oranges, as the evening was beginning. They don’t even know how many days have passed since they’ve been here, but it has to have been at least a year.

The plan is that they all land their lions at the garrison. Once they have spread the news of what has happened and the incoming galra ships, the paladins with homes to go to will be able to reunite with their families via car or lion, depending on how far it is. But for now, not one person was thinking about the plan,  because seeing earth, their home is what really mattered.

Shiro breathed in deeply. He was back, after all this time. After everything he had been through, he had changed so much, while it seems like the planet hadn’t changed that much at all. Memories of his and the others adventures in space filled his head, the good and the bad. How many times had he nearly died? He didn’t even know, but before he left for Kerberos he was sure by now he would have already passed away. He had gotten used to the idea, he had to after all. And now living with the fact that he had the rest of his life before him, was so surreal.

But first, they had a war to win. And Shiro had the rest of team voltron to take care of.

He walked over to Keith’s sleeping form, smiling at who he considered his little brother. Keith’s made Shiro swear to wake him up when they were about an hour away, but honestly Keith hadn’t slept properly for awhile, and Shiro didn’t have it in him to wake him up then. Plus, an actual extra hour of being able to pilot Black was something that Shiro desperately wanted, he was still a pilot at heart after all.

“Hey Keith, we’re here bud” And with that Keith shot up like he usually did, Shiro swore that boy was the lightest sleeper known to man. “I told you to wake me up an hour ago! What the hell Shiro?!” “Hey! Language” “I’m an adult, I can say what I want” “Not around me you can’t, now come on, we gotta get out of here”

Keith rolled his eye and smiled, walking ahead while shiro turned back to the front of the lion. “Thanks black, I owe you more than anything” He turned around and followed Keith out, scanning the crowd for any familiar faces.

That’s when he saw him. Adam.

The look on everyone’s face was a mixture between shock and awe, but Shiro found himself only being able to look at the man who he had been thinking about since he left for Kerberos. Adam had obviously changed. His hair had gotten a little bit longer and he seemed to have a scar right on his chin. His expression was filled with confusion but it still held so much warmth and relief, Shiro didn’t even notice himself running. Running to the thing that he had missed the most. He was there, Shiro was running to him like his life depended on it, like nothing else mattered.

As he reached Adam, Shiro felt like his surroundings had disappeared. He felt elated, but the memories of their final conversation still plagued him.

“Adam, I’ve been cleared to go, and... I’m going to, we leave in two days.” Adam turned to face him at that comment, sharply taking a breathe. “Fine, you’ve made your decision and I’ve told you what that means…is that it?” Shiro furrowed his eyebrows, he had expected a cold reaction, but it still caused him a painful aching in his chest. “Listen, I don’t want us to end on a bad note…I-“ Adam winced, obviously trying to not show the amount of pain this was causing him. Desperately clutching onto the uncaring façade he was showing. Pretend that it doesn’t hurt and therefore at least some of the pain doesn’t right? But they were in love. They were… “Is that it Takashi?” Shiro shook his head slightly. Wow, he was really going to do this huh? Act like everything didn’t matter in the end. Like they weren’t goddamn engaged. “No, no that isn’t it. Adam I love you, ok? I really do, and I never wanted to hurt you… I don’t know how to fix this…” The last sentence came out as a sob, and Shiro grabbed Adam’s arm, trying to blink away the heavy tears that were forming in his eyes. Adam closing his eyes, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “Don’t leave. That’s how you fix it just please don’t- don’t…” He took a shaky breath and took a slow step back to properly face Shiro. “I don’t want to lose a year of being with you…to find out you died in the middle of space, not being able to be there…to at least say a proper goodbye. I couldn’t…I can’t deal with this Shiro. I can’t ok? So don’t leave.” Adam was now shaking, trying to swallow his heavy sobs. “I…I’m so sorry Adam I have to. I only have a few years left I…I’m so sorry I have to. I have to go, because if I don’t I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life. I love you, I do, and when I get back we can-“ “No Takashi…just…no ok? I can’t do this. I told you that if you leave, this is over. And it is. It’s over. Now, Officer Shirogane, please leave my office.” Shiro stepped back, hurt as the words Adam had spouted seemed to cut through him like a knife. So that was it then. “Fine, I’ll go.” Turning around was the hardest thing shiro had ever done, and walking to the door was even harder. Before he left he looked back, and locked eyes with his, now ex fiancé. In those eyes he saw all those years spent together. The laughter, the tears. Nervous confessions mixed in with flirty jokes. All the intimate moments they had shared, and all the breathless declarations of love. Shiro turned away, and walked out of that door, forcing himself to leave it all behind.

He didn’t know what to say to him…he didn’t know what to do. After they broke up…so much had changed. Yet somehow it was all just as painful. “Takashi…I’m so sorry.” With that Adam embraced Shiro in his arms, and Shiro felt his head swirl. He had missed this…all of it so much. “I shouldn’t have broken things off, I should’ve been there. I left you when you needed it most and that was horrible of me I’m so so sorry I-“ Shiro interrupted the muffled words with a shush, and rubbed Adam’s back gently. They stood there, in each others arms for what seemed like an eternity, yet when they finally broke it felt like it wasn’t long enough. “Why are you sorry? I should be sorry, I was stupid and selfish and not considering the consequences. It was fool-“ Adam shook his head frantically. “No…Takashi I was the one being selfish. I didn’t even try to come up with an alternative solution I w-“ “Let’s just say we were both at fault?” Adam smiled, and nodded gently. It was a strange relief, but they obviously would need to talk more about this…about everything really, but for a moment, neither of them said a word.

“If it’s any consolation, you were right about the dangers of going to Kerberos…” They slowly made their way to the lions, Shiro still hadn’t really talked to the rest of team voltron, since he did kind of immediately run to Adam after all.   Adam playfully elbowed him and chuckled quietly. Shiro hadn’t heard it in years, and frankly it made him feel almost giddy. Like he was a pining kid again. “Yeah I know about that, did you think I WOULDN’T get every last detail when Sam came back?” “Ah, so you basically grilled him, classic Adam style.” “More like new and improved since I was still freaking out that you were alive after all this time. I mean, the hair and arm is a surprise but still.” Yeah…Shiro wouldn’t mention the fact that he had died and been reincarnated with his clone for a little while…

As they finally regrouped inside the black lion, and the others seemed to not be able to contain themselves with meeting Shiro’s ex fiancé…or maybe even just fiancé? They still needed to talk about that…

“So this is the guy hey? Hmmm…but are you good enough for our Shiro” Hunk walked up to Adam and leaned in close, seemingly inspecting him. “I think he is Hunk, they were engaged remember?” “Keith! Oh my god your so tall now, and you have a…IS THAT A SCAR JESUS!” Adam ran over to Keith, completely panicked as Keith looked absolutely like he had come out of a warzone. Which was completely correct, and frankly the rest of them did too. “You guys have helmets so why on EARTH do you have a scar on your face. What happened to you out there, actually don’t answer. I don’t want to know right now…” Keith laughed a little, “It’s good to see you again Adam.” Adam smiled and ruffled Keith’s hair, a thing that was obviously a habit before Shiro left. “Wait hold on here, so Shiro, Adam, let me get this straight.” Shiro had gradually walked over to Keith and Adam, and at Lance’s comment he gently elbowed Adam. They were engaged before all of this, they had to have some way to communicate internal gay jokes.

“You guys basically have the most iconic love story of all time, Jock meets nerd and become friends. You guys grow up together and end up being the best pilots in the Garrison, slowly falling in love while doing so. And shiro, for some reason, you only RECENTLY TOLD US THIS???” Adam looked over and raised an eyebrow, while Shiro sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

“Well things were a bit…complicated. And I don’t really think we had a lot of time before to actually talk about it.” Shiro felt Adam shift slightly with the word ‘complicated’. Shiro was right of course, they had broken up and it was extremely painful for both of them.

“Well it is lovely to meet you Adam! My names Allura, and I am from the planet Altea.” Shiro would that her later for changing the subject. Adam stepped back. Sam gave him a quick run down on who the paladins were when he met up with Adam, so he fully well knew who Adam was facing an actual alien, alien royalty at that…and understandably he was freaking out a bit. “Oh uh yes…it’s an honour to meet you Allura. And all of you guys.”

That was the start of everyone’s brief introductions, and frankly, it was obvious who Adam bonded with the most.

“I don’t know how you dealt with him…he’s constantly getting himself in danger I don’t know how he does it!” “I barely know myself…I swear it’s like there could be a big glowing sign that said “don’t do this alarmingly reckless thing” and he’d probably do it in spite of the SIGN!” To be fare, Keith did obviously get it from his mother, so the entire conversation was painfully ironic to listen to. And Shiro was awkwardly hoping to not get blamed for Keith’s recklessness from Adam.

“Ok, I think that’s everyone, guys let’s continue with the plan. I’m going to go and find Commander Iverson to tell him what’s going on, if you all have any friends that you want to reunite with here, do it now. Krolia, Allura, Romelle, Coran, stay in black for now like you guys have been doing. There is a bunch of press and a big enough crowd to last a lifetime, and you guys would certainly be more safe in here than out there.”

Big robotic lions were enough, actual aliens on Earth right now would make everyone lose their minds.

“Let’s go guys!” Adam smiled fondly at Shiro. He really had become a great leader huh? He always was, but seeing how much everyone respected and cared for him…it made Adam proud. “I’m going with you, Iverson is too much of an asshole to deal with alone.” Pidge snorted in response, and with that, everyone got on the move.

Shiro and Adam left the lion, and before they could actually enter the giant crowd Adam pulled shiro to the side of Black and behind the head of yellow, somewhat hiding them from the giant swarm of people who were now swarming Lance, Pidge and Hunk with questions.

“Look, I know things are hectic right now and we just reunited only an hour ago, and it’s fine if you can’t answer right now but I want to ask you..” “Just tell me Adam” “After this has ended, when the war has finished…can we try this again. We still have to properly talk of course…but I’m not going to give up on this, us, again.” There was a brief moment of silence, back then, shiro had thought it was the end. And the break up was one of the worst things he had gone through in his entire life. Leaving Adam for Kerberos was agonising enough, and when he was kidnapped by the Galra…convinced he was leaving him, Keith and the rest of his family for good…it was torture. But he was here, with Adam. And Shiro was completely willing to rebuild that life that they had. It meant the world to him.

He hugged Adam once again, whispering “of course” gently into his ear. They both separated for a quick moment, and then gently kissed. Neither of them would be able to describe how it felt, but if they had to choose one word, they would both immediately say ‘home’.

“Well…we should probably..” “Yeah…” “You know, I still have a lot to catch you up on…” “True, and you better tell me all of it. Every last detail Takashi Shirogane.” “I promise I will tell you about all of it, even the gross stuff.” “Thankyou, I am honoured. And I have to catch you up on a lot too. Like last years Christmas party was TERRIBLE. Lena brought a bowl of sunflower seeds as her savoury dish, who does that?” “Sounds like I’ve missed out on the real important news of Galaxy Garrison…but sunflower seeds? Really? I mean that’s an all time low…” “I know right? We can’t ever let her host it I’ll tell you that.”

Shiro and Adam stopped for a moment, and stared at each other. In those eyes Shiro saw the same things he saw all those years ago. All those years spent together. The laughter, the tears. Nervous confessions mixed in with flirty jokes. All the intimate moments they had shared, and all the breathless declarations of love. But shiro wasn’t leaving them. And as he carefully held onto Adam’s hand, he absolutely knew. He was never going to walk away from him again

(Hey guys! so basically in this lil piece Earth hasn’t been attacked by the Galra yet because I want things to at least be alright when they return home dammit. Although that is most likely not going to happen. I wanted to do a little a little reunion so here it is!)

-Ana