#ad:judi

[american-dream-novel]

JUDI HERRON.

twenty-seven. she/her. jack of all trades.

VISAGE.

6'0''. Often described by others as boney and bird-like. Chestnut, straight hair that stops at her mid-back. Pale skin with pink undertones. Has no piercings, but is covered in a bunch of tattoos she got for free from friends and acquaintances that were tattoo apprentices or simply were feeling charitable. The only tattoo she's ever paid for is her Three of Swords tattoo on the back of her neck. Judi has no "typical" outfit and is pretty consistent in switching things up. However, a classic from her teenage years that she can never give up is a pair of cargo shorts and one of her innumerable band tee. closest visual reference is Ethel Cain/Hayden Anhedonia.

PERSONA.

forms deep attachments with people rather quickly; a daydreamer who gets quickly caught up in the fantasy and radical potential of a new person.

flighty, anxious-avoidant, terrified of commitment but also craves it desperately from other people

Eventually grew tired of the song and dance of exposing oneself — of becoming intimate — so now she wears everything on her sleeve so as to better hide in plain sight what she is truly ashamed of. Think extroversion as a subconscious way of keeping people at arm's length but also to avoid having to be by yourself.

wants people to write ballads about her and make art in her honor; would also laugh in your face and pretend to throw up if you ever asked to do as such

incredibly kind; charitable feels like the wrong word because she's very much a person involved in mutual aid and that's not the way she understands her community work. Uplifting, your personal hypeman, incredibly loyal often without due cause.

struggles with being overly critical; often self-sabotages potential connections because of this trait. She also almost never voices what's wrong — she'll just drop your ass.

a wandering soul, literally and metaphorically; her feelings are fickle and ever-changing. She feels lost, and she's always coming up with a new thing that will fix the hole inside her.

HISTORY. tw: brief mention of suicide, transphobia, addiction, child-abuse

born in Silver Springs, Michigan in the Sunny Trails Trailer Park. Her mother left when she was a toddler, and for the rest of Judi's childhood, it would be her, her older brother Joey, and her father. no better way to say this — she grew up acutely white trash.

was neighbors with Eddie, but partially the reason why they were so close was because her father and his uncle were both deacons of the same church.

her father was a machinist at a die-cutting parts manufacturer along with being an alcoholic. Primarily, Judi suffered from neglect that Joey, who's ten years older, stepped in to mitigate. Didn't prevent the worst of her father's behavior from impacting her, especially as she became more aware of her identity.

Came out when she was 15 and started to socially transition; her family was not accepting, including her brother and Eddie. This shocked Judi as she knew her brother was closeted gay and Eddie was, well, Eddie. Gets close to Birdie and her girlfriend during this time.

Leaves home at 17 once Birdie leaves and Joey commits suicide. She's been a leaf on the wind since, starting HRT when she was 18.

WHERE IS SHE NOW?: Rare for Judi to stay in one place for more than two or three years. In fact, it's more common for her to stay long enough to fulfill a year-long lease and then split again. However, she's one of the few people who can move to a completely new place and make a whole group of friends and completely integrate herself into the local scene in a matter of a few months. She likes to joke that she has friends across all major metropolitan cities in the USA.

METAPHORICALLY... why is she a cannibal? There's an element to Judi's core that will never feel like she's enough, that she will always be outside of some grander human experience. Humanity and its diversity fascinate her — hence why she's so all-over-the-place in terms of her passions and pursuits. She is an extrovert who loves hearing other people's life stories, in part because she desires to be close to others but cannot bare the thought of the intimacy required to do so. Her cannibalism, thus, is a way for her to remain connected to her humanity but is also a manifestation of the ways she still feels inhuman, othered, ostracized. I'm also tooling with the idea that when she eats someone, she experiences their memories, and I think something about this out-of-body experience appeals to her addictive personality and also helps her feel more connected to people. If Birdie's core theme is repression, Judi's is isolation, and I see her cannibalism being representative of that.

AESTHETICS ° STYLE