#actually the thought of a knife against my throat is so πππππ
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I might have some weird kinks like sharp objects, the feel of cold metal on my skin, maybe even a little nick and cut here n there I DONT KNOW WHY but the sting is kinda ππ nice HMMMM idk what thatβs says about me I do but like hehe maybe some hot sharp objects πMAN IDK jdjdhsjdhsj
#actually the thought of a knife against my throat is so πππππ#however fucking weirdly Iβm now wired thatβs like the hottest thing to me#or was my first boyfriendβs knife throwing skills kind of an awakening π€¨#I dunno. I do know that itβs fucked up lol and even more fucked up that no oneβs gonna do that for me :(#but hey oh well whatever#I was like many months clean but then I put out a cigarette in my arm the other day just to feel something#idk where I was going with this but yeah not using blades for AHEM instead giving myself like. second third degree burns#I kept picking at it as it healed and it made like a little puddle lol#dark times dude dark times. well at least Iβm not using blades anymore lol π€ͺ those are for sexy purposes now#honestly I donβt even smoke often just when the situation is too desperate so itβs what like six months between them? like obviously I wonβt#put out a burning cigarette on my arm when thereβs people around lol but whatever#anyways Iβm done screaming into the void thx#if you read this no you didnβt donβt be concerned abt me I still have the will to live even if barely#but whatever yeah anyways whatever#.txt
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