#actually that's a lie. the way i draw doc has literally never changed

[asphodeldreams]

drawing for donut week is weird for me because one of my favorite things about donut is the various ways he interacts with other characters/his surroundings. which means in order to celebrate that part of donut that i really enjoy i will then have to draw full scenes which i famously do not do lol

[welllpthisishappening]

Drew Stars Around My Scars

Hello, hey, hi there. It’s raining, I’ve already lost track of the number of times I’ve listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and haven’t written anything in weeks. Until now! Thanks, Taylor Swift. And @optomisticgirl​​​ who reblogged this post a few days ago from @initiala​​​ about how Killian holding Emma in 3x22 isn’t just that he’s trying to comfort her, but he’s trying to make sure she didn’t disappear. 

Which, like...ok, cool. Anyway, I have thought about this for far too long now and started slamming on keys when the kittens weren’t sitting on my laptop and here’s like 4.1K that may or may not make sense, but at least includes some scathing opinions of Back to the Future. Also, thanks to @shireness-says​​​ for always being like...yeah, I want to read that. 

-----

She sniffles. 

She can’t seem to stop. 

Tears stream down Emma’s face without much thought because thinking too much is a daunting obstacle that she can’t even begin to consider yet. Or ever. Definitely ever. Another sniffle, this one actually making her cough somehow, which is a bodily reaction she was not aware she was capable of. 

Until right now. 

When everything seems to be falling apart around her. 

God, she hates time travel. And magic. And evil queens. And parents who can’t recognize her. She supposes she should give them a pass. For a variety of reasons, least of all the magic that’s cloaking both her and Kill—no, that’s not right. Hook. Captain Hook. He’s Captain Hook and she’s still not a princess, but the dancing was almost nice and he hadn’t even slowed down before he was drawing his sword and the jacket spin was something even her muddled thoughts have been able to cling to, so—

He’d held onto her while her mother burned. Tightly. Almost too much. 

Emma nearly trips over a tree root. 

“Shit,” she breathes, pressing the pads of her fingers into damp cheeks. Her dress is too long. Maybe she’ll mention that to Rumplestilskin later. 

Once they get home. 

Back to Storybrooke. Those are not interchangeable words. None of this is interchangeable. 

Even the trees around Emma look different than the ones she only vaguely remembers from her last jaunt through the Enchanted Forest, taller and a little more imposing, like they’re also aware that she’s one good sniffle away from falling off the metaphorical edge. 

Directly into a chasm without magic or parents and she didn’t even get to talk to Mary—

“Nope,” Emma says entirely to herself. So, it seems insanity is looming just a bit closer than she realized. “Not here.”

Or ever. There’s that phrase again. Two words, technically. 

Two words probably don’t constitute a phrase. 

What does she know, she didn’t graduate college. Or high school, technically. 

“Literally,” Emma mumbles, and it’s almost impressive how that one word still manages to sound as loud as it does. As if it’s bouncing off the sides of those same tall and decidedly imposing trees. “Literally didn't graduate high school.”

Something snaps behind her. 

There are far too many twigs on this forest floor. 

Spinning on the balls of her feet, Emma’s hands fly up, only one of her wrists cracking in the process, and it’s difficult to make out the face moving towards her, but the set of his shoulders is exactly the same as always and that cannot possibly have any deeper meaning. 

“Swan?” “God, fuck what are you—” Emma is out of breath. That’s absurd. And a rather unfair commentary on her lungs ability to function. She’s had something of a day, after all. Running a hand over her face, she does her best to retain her higher brain functions, but that’s admittedly difficult when there’s moonlight gleaming from the point of Killian’s sword. 

Captain Hook. 

Captain. Hook. 

Maybe the state of her lungs is partially his fault. He really held on very tightly. 

“What are you doing out here?” Emma manages to get out, once she’s taken another pitiful breath. She hopes her lips don’t start to chap. There’s probably not an easy remedy for that in the goddamn Enchanted Forest. 

Hook gapes at her. 

She grits her teeth. And regrets the state of her knees. They keep wobbling under her, traitors to her emotional cause and the state of several body parts aside from her obviously failing lungs. Whatever’s happening in the general vicinity of her heart seems unstable. 

Erratic, even. 

“Making sure you’re alright,” Hook says like it’s obvious, and it almost is. Almost. What another piece of garbage word. “You’ve been—” Shaking his head once, the ends of his hair don’t move as much as normal, and Emma flinches when he sheaths his sword. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that’s all.” Emma is going to lie. She is. Has every intention of letting the word fine pass through her lips, but those lips open without any sound coming out at all and Hook’s eyebrows jump. 

“Thank you.” “Excuse me?” “Thank you,” Emma repeats, finally giving into the urge of her knees and, if nothing else, the length of this dress makes it easier to sit on one of these overly large tree roots. Hook’s eyebrows don’t move. “Should have, uh—should have mentioned that before, probably.” “Thanking me?” “What part of this is confusing for you?” “Quite a bit, in fact,” he admits, and he doesn’t sit, but he also doesn’t look away from her and Emma is pleasantly surprised to find she almost sort of likes it. Almost. Again. 

Letting out a breath that she wishes sounded more like a laugh than it does, Emma’s tongue darts out. “Shit, that..well, that sucks, doesn’t it?” His eyes widen. “That’s not a euphemism,” Emma adds. “Just out of place slang.” “You might have to be more specific, love.”

“That’s fair. I—ok, stuff sucking is...well, it just means that stuff is...not great. Like right now, you know...things are—” She shrugs. And tries to smile. It fails spectacularly. 

Emma sniffles again. 

“Not great?” Hook ventures, and he has to readjust his sword to sit next to her. 

“Less than ideal.”

“You’ve been gone for nearly half an hour. I was worried something had happened.” “Hence the sword.” “Never want to be too careful. And you’re—” “—At least capable of still punching people,” Emma argues, not sure why she’s doing that exactly, but it feels like a matter of pride at this point. She exhales loudly. “But, uh...it’s nice that you came out here. I’m sorry that you had to do that too.” They both hear the words for what they aren’t — vast and a little overwhelming, and time travel is so overrated. Emma can’t believe what a popular fictional trope it is. Snow White was never supposed to die. The ends of Hook’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t actually smile, and that’s actually nice and maybe that’s her biggest issue. 

Everything about him has been so goddamn nice. 

He was much better at dancing than she expected him to be. 

And he keeps following her. She doesn’t mind that. 

Might even—

No. Not now. Not yet. Or ever. Again. God. 

“It’s not a problem, love.”

Emma swallows. Nods. Tries not to fall over that ledge. “I just...needed some time to think, I guess. Is that dramatic?” “No. And suggesting it sucks does have a certain charm to it.” “And you know all about charming, don’t you?” His left eyebrow arches. Some things never change, she supposes. Emma focuses on that. And not how she’s fairly certain she can feel waves of heat rolling off him, even with the few inches between them. Possibly a foot. She’s not great at estimating measurements. 

Or much else, it seems. 

That’s a far too depressing thought, though. 

“I believe I’ll leave that particular moniker to others in the party,” Hook says softly, sitting down. “Would you like to talk about it?” “Which part?” “Dealer’s choice.” “That one crossed realms, huh?”

“Some sayings know no bounds,” Hook smirks, and whatever sound Emma makes at that is even closer to a laugh than the last one. She takes that as a positive. “None of this is your fault.” “Practice that a few more times and it might sound more legitimate.” “Swan, that’s—” “—No, no, no,” Emma objects, not standing up, but she shakes her head quickly enough that strands of hair slap at either one of her cheeks. A few of them stick there. Probably because of the tears she can’t seem to stop. “All of this is my fault. I—I should have waited for help with the portal and everything I’ve done here has only made it worse and—” Another sigh, dragging her hand over her cheek. “—Fuck Marty McFly. And Doc Brown. It was so weird that they were friends, why didn’t anyone ever explain that?” “Did they not?” “No, not once. We were just supposed to accept that Marty met some senior citizen inventor guy who was more than willing to steal dangerous chemicals—” “—And he wasn’t a wizard?” “No, he wasn’t a wizard. No magic in the real world.” Or me, Emma thinks bitterly, but that’s not going to help the situation anymore than her current rambling, and she can’t seem to stop rambling. “But Marty and Doc hung out all the time. And Jennifer didn’t even think it was weird.” “Who is Jennifer, exactly?” “Marty’s girlfriend, I guess, but it always seemed like they were just starting to date at the beginning of the movie and then they got married. Just like that. You think they went to the same college or something? Like once Marty left—shit I can’t remember the name of the town.” Hook hums, a sound Emma can’t actually cling to any more than she can hold the one positive thing that has happened to her in the last twenty-four hours in her hands. It is not lost on her that both of them have to do with the man sitting next to her. 

Or how quickly his fingers keep fluttering over the hilt of his sword. 

“How far do you think we are from Aurora and Philip’s...land?” Emma asks. “Is that the right way to say that? Did they have a land?” “I believe the word you’re looking for is kingdom.” “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Should have known that.” “That’s not your fault either.” “You’re really harping.” “Playing a symphony, it seems.” She laughs. She does. It’s not that loud, and there’s a distinctly watery edge to it, the muscles in Emma’s face aching when she manages to smile, but she’s having a difficult time coming to terms with the dexterity of Killian’s eyebrows and her hand moves before she thinks about it. 

The metal is cool under her skin, a smooth surface that she can drag her thumb across. Which is exactly what she does, an attempt to ground herself and remind her that she’s still here when she isn’t entirely positive she’s supposed to be. 

Hook doesn’t move. Might not breathe, if the state state of his shoulders is any indication and Emma hadn’t realized she was in possession of so many opinions regarding Captain Hook’s shoulders. Or her ability to recognize them. 

No matter what, it seems. 

“While it may appear that I know everything—” “—Ok, I never said that.” Hook’s smirk grows more pronounced. “I was in Neverland for quite some time, and the boundaries of some of the Enchanted Forest kingdoms changed in the last hundred or so years. But,” he adds when Emma opens her mouth again, “we’re more than a stone’s throw from the land Aurora should be ruling. At least several days' travel.” “God, that’s confusing. And did all these kingdoms have separate laws and everything? Who came up with that? Seems like a garbage way to rule.” “I believe you’d have to file a complaint with several different monarchies for that, love.”

Emma scoffs. “It’s quieter here than it was in Neverland, though.” “Most places are.” “Colder too. I hate the cold. I’m always—can’t ever seem to get warm and my toes are always freezing, it’s...I’m a notorious blanket thief.” “Pirate of sorts, huh?” He grins as he says it and part of Emma wants to scream. Stand up and run, as fast as her feet and far-too-long hem allow. But that part is also smaller than usual, and she’s all too aware of the state her knees are in. “Something like that,” Emma agrees. “When I was a kid I used to live in this place. Snowed for months at a time and I—I hated it. Wanted to be anywhere else. Kept trying to find somewhere that was warm, sunny. Like that would chase away the shadows.” Hook is disarmingly quiet. 

And Emma can’t shut up. 

“But then I got some place where it never snows and it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. Dry heat, you know?” He shakes his head. That’s fair. Pirates with several-hundred years of experience under their belts should not be expected to understand meteorological cliches. 

“Anyway,” Emma mumbles, “it wasn’t what I expected or thought was supposed to happen and—” She scrunches her nose. Hook waits. Presumably for the rest of the sentence, but it doesn’t come and she finds it difficult to breathe again when he starts talking.

“Sunlight always seemed better on the sea. Would reflect off the surf. Could see the entire horizon if you wanted to.” “And did you?” Hook nods. “As often as I could. Even when I was lad. My father used to bring my brother and I—” This might be their best and least organized conversation. Gritting his teeth, his shoulders shift when he inhales sharply. “These stars are different from Neverland’s.” “Really? Weird.” “Mmhm, made navigating something of a challenge.”

“But you’re here now, right?” “Presently, you mean?” Another head shake. More moving hair and unmoving fingers. Emma’s knuckles are white around the hook, holding it like a lifeline and she might have to spend the rest of her life thanking him for this. 

It’s not as daunting a prospect as it should be. 

“I mean past you is here,” Emma says, “in the Enchanted Forest. Doing pirate type things and offering Mary—” Her tongue gets in the way. As disgusting a thought as that is, Emma knows it’s better than thinking about what is actually happening, feeling as if her throat is collapsing in on itself while her heart does its best to beat its way out of her chest. “Shit.” Killian shuffles closer, not stopping until his knee bumps hers. “That happened from time to time. Leaving Neverland, doing jobs for—” “—Pan?” “Sometimes. He couldn't leave the island, you see. Not without losing the magic as well. Jolly’s crew was his only option. Although we always managed to stay here longer than he wanted us to.” “Well, pirates hate rules, don’t they?” “I believe that’s in the bylaws, aye.” She’s got absolutely no idea what sound that one is. Shaky and a little wobbly and some dark, half-forgotten part of Emma’s brain believes it’s drifting close to giggle territory. That can’t be right. She can’t giggle while she’s still crying. 

The bylaws of the Universe probably frown on that. 

“Is that how you wound up with Cora, then? Stuck around longer and got a good deal?” Nothing. 

No answer. No jokes. Certainly nothing even remotely resembling a giggle. 

Just the muscle in Hook’s temple, jumping rhythmically and consistently and Emma really does try to stay patient. Her sniffling makes that difficult. 

“Something like that,” Killian repeats evasively, staring straight ahead like he can see through the trees. Maybe he can. What does Emma know. Some pirates probably have to have good eyesight. Make up for the eye patches and whatnot. 

She nods. No one asked a question. “Ok.” “Ok?” “Ok,” Emma echoes, “you’re a real shit liar and I’m real great at telling when you’re lying, but—” “—Me specifically?” Yes. The answer is yes, but she doesn’t give voice to that either and maybe she should be writing all these things down. The things she’s not saying. 

Should say. 

Emma can’t believe she time traveled and didn’t even get to talk to her mother. 

And that’s the first time she’s really allowed herself to think of Snow White as her mother. 

“Super power,” Emma continues, waving her free hand towards her temple. Her other one is still clinging to his hook. “But that’s fine. You didn’t pry, so I won’t pry, I just—” Collapsing throats, she imagines, are supposed to hurt more than this does. This doesn’t hurt, per se, just feels passably uncomfortable, like there’s a wad of cotton in her mouth, making it difficult to say anything and Emma is so bad at saying anything, but Killian is staring at her and—

Killian. 

She lets herself call him Killian. In her head, at least .

“I can’t come up with anything else to say except thank you,” Emma whispers. 

“You don’t have to.” “Still.” “You’re welcome,” Killian says, and maybe words carry more weight in the past. By default. 

“Can I ask you something, though?” He tenses. Noticeably. It’s another round of fair and understandable, Emma’s teeth finding her lower lip until she tastes blood. Another reminder that she’s still here. With her fingers wrapped around Captain Hook’s—

No, that’s not right. Captain Hook did not follow her into a time vortex. Or ask her to dance. Or wear the fuck out of that jacket. Although that last one could use a bit more work, at least when it comes to sentence structure. 

The point still stands. 

Captain Hook didn’t do any of that. Killian Jones did. 

And he—

“When we were watching everything in the castle and Regina was you know…” Killian lips go thin. Emma might be staring at his lips. Past him had been a very good kisser as well. Maybe she’ll mention that at some point. After this. “Well, I just,” she stammers, “I was terrified, for my mom and my dad and even Ruby—God, is that her name here?” “Introduced herself as Red when Snow White sent her.” “Weird.” “Perhaps the best word for the entire situation.” “Or shitty.” “Aye that too,” he smiles, which is not weird. At least not as weird as it should be. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.” “Yeah, me neither,” Emma breathes, not exactly the explicit truth, but at least several steps without moving. “I—you have very strong arms.” “A compliment?” “An observation.” Killian chuckles, and this hair really is unfortunate. Normally, that one bit that Emma has come to regard as her own personal torture device would artfully fall across his forehead, a metaphorical arrow towards eyes that always seem to get brighter when they’re looking at her.

As they often are. 

But while the hair is different, the distracting tendencies of his tongue are the same. The tip of it finds the corner of his mouth, a soft push on the inside of his cheek, and Emma’s not keeping a list — at least not acknowledging her want of a list — but the tongue thing is definitely one of Killian’s most telling tells. 

Seriously, her sentence structure sucks. 

“Although,” Emma adds, “it wasn’t that bad.” HIs tongue goes back in his mouth. She’s got to stop thinking about his tongue.

“No?” “No,” she says. “It was...nice.” So, off the top of her head, she needs to fix — sentences, her grasp of the English language, her tendency to repeat herself, and finding better adjectives for emotionally charged moments. 

Possibly. 

Emma still hasn’t called him Killian to his face, after all. 

“What did you think was going to happen?” No tongue, but an obviously tight jaw makes Emma’s stomach jump into her still-collapsed throat. “Like I said, love. I wasn’t sure. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” The lie feels like it reaches out, smacks her across the face and then backhands her for good measure. It leaves Emma’s cheeks tingling and something tugs at the base of her spine. Not magic, because she still doesn’t have magic, but maybe magic adjacent, like a memory or hints of a dream that keep lingering at the edges of everything, and she promised. 

She doesn’t push. She doesn’t prod. 

She doesn’t pry. 

And Killian has to move his sword again when he gets back to his feet. “We’ve got a fire going, if you’d like to warm up.” “Yeah, ok. Thanks.” Emma doesn’t let go of the hook, keeps her fingers curled around it as they move back through the trees and neither one of them stumble, a very small, but much needed victory because—

Well, everything kind of continues to suck. 

At least for a little while. 

Snow White isn’t dead, but she’s a bug, and then she’s not a bug and Emma has no idea where Ruby goes. She’s too busy worried about this nameless woman and wielding a branch gets her another laugh and a smile she’s going to think about for at least seventy-two hours straight. Then there are trolls, and tears of the less-pained variety. Rumplestilskin continues to be any forest’s biggest asshole, and there’s magic and another round of crying and—

Emma runs. 

Sprinting across Storybrooke, she ignores the ringing phone in her pocket, determined to hug her parents and hold her kid with her own display of impressive upper body strength. 

And it gets better, less suck-like, at least. Food and smiles and the way her mother’s hand feels when it rests on top of Emma’s. 

Until she’s sitting — tucked into the corner of a booth with her own face staring at her from the pages of Henry’s storybook and Emma can’t quite recognize the person there. The happiness on her face feels like...well, a story. A good one, but something that she can’t believe was hers or is hers or could be hers and she’s got to add tenses to that list she only kind of remembers. 

Glancing around, the muscles in her neck object to the stress she’s putting them under, because time travel is awful and exhaustion is starting to creep its way up her spine. 

“Looking for someone?” her mother asks, and Emma’s lips pop. 

That’s it. 

She understands. Fucking goddamn finally. 

Emma might nod. Or shake her head. It doesn’t really matter. 

There are no words. No explanations. Just clamoring back to her feet, the bottoms of her boots sticking to the linoleum near the door because one of the dwarves definitely spilled punch at some point and—

His head snaps up as soon as the door closes behind her. 

“So, do you think Rumplestilskin is right?” Emma asks, dropping into one of the wrought-iron chairs at the table Killian has commandeered. Pirate term. “I’m in the book now. He said everything, besides our little adventure, would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?”

“He’s right. Otherwise I’d remember that damned bar wench I kissed.” She smiles. Wide and honest and easier than anything has ever been. And Killian doesn’t flinch when she teases him, like that’s something Emma is allowed to do, but she figures once she uses his name and once they start making out like teenagers it’s fine, and this is her favorite kiss. 

By far. 

No sounds, no rum, nothing except the feel of his fingers in her hair and her knees bumping against his and she tries to claw her way into his space, a burst of colors behind her closed eyes that she knows is magic and him and them, a collective unit that—

“You came out here,” Killian murmurs, the words barely making their way through the haze of Emma’s post-makeout brain. 

She bumps her nose against his. “Turnabout and all that. I...I didn’t want you to be by yourself. And I had a thought.” “Which was?” “Did you think I was going to disappear? When Regina tried to kill my mom. I—you said you didn’t know what would happen, but that wasn’t—” “—Super power, huh?” “Not cool to interrupt when I’m theorizing.” “Well, you don’t like being cool, do you, Swan?” Her smile is going to get stuck on her face. That’s...nice. “Was that what it was?” “The thought had crossed my mind, aye.” “Smart guy.” “High praise.” “I’m an official princess now. In the book and everything, so favors from me hold a certain weight, don’t you think?” He smirks. She tries to memorize it. Every shift of his mouth, the spark in his eye and slight scrunch of his nose, what might be a few freckles there or a trick of the dim lights above them. 

Emma’s skin feels like it’s vibrating. 

“Thank you.” “You don’t have to keep saying that, Swan.” “Yeah, I know, but—I didn’t think about disappearing, but I did think about wanting something to hold onto and that’s...thank you.”

It’s not enough. Not really, but even the concept of holding her tight enough to ensure that she didn’t disappear in some fairy tale realm is a lot for Emma to wrap her mind around, so she’s going to give herself a pass on this one. 

And kiss him instead. Kissing Killian is quickly climbing to the top of a brand-new list of Emma’s favorite things. In every known realm. His tongue swipes her lips and she opens her mouth at the same time her eyes fall shut again, a tilt of her head and bump of their chins, and it’s not easy to deal with all of their assorted limbs at this angle, but that just ensures that this is a bit slower and softer and something that is, quite obviously, the start. 

Because she came after him this time. 

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that. 

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn’t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

[savrenim]

tropesssss

this got long so I am putting it under a cut; all of my additions will be in italics

Hi, I’m the tvtropes anon who is also the recent long ifmlam question anon. I‘m very happy you like the page! I made it because I wanted people to enjoy it so it’s great to know someone does. I am very actively updating that page. I intend to comb every chapter for tropes and by then I should gotten most stuff that I’m capable of getting, so I’ll message you. “Most stuff” because I bet after all the chapters I’ll realize something in hindsight or learn a new trope that definitely applied to the fic and go back and add it, but that’s probably going to cause way fewer additions than when I’m actively rereading the fic in search of tropes. “That I’m capable of getting” because I’m one person and am capable of straight-up missing things, or of noticing things but not knowing it’s a trope or that it has a trope on TVTropes. Other people are likely to pick up on stuff I missed or know tropes I don’t. Oh! I spent awhile trying to find a trope for touch-activated powers and only found very specific powers like the Midas Touch instead of a trope for touch powers in general. If that trope exists I definitely missed it and there’s room for someone to add it. “Adding back stuff the original cut” needs to be its own trope I s2g. The closest standalone trope I found was Adaptation Expansion, which can be plain old additions the original didn’t have as well, it’s not exclusive to “the original cut this and now the adaptation put it back in” which is what I so desperately want. So until then, it’s an Adapted Out inversion… I also have lots of thoughts about Adapted Out and its inversion. There’s lots of different “types” I identified when I was crawling the Hamilton musical trope page for people the musical adapted out that the fic put back in. I might actually get to separate them by these “types” because the ifmlam Adapted Out section is getting hella long. It’s literally just turning into “a list of every historical person who wasn’t a full character in the musical” lol. Anyways, the “types” 1) Stuff in the source material literally does not exist in the adaptation. In the original book, Character A is 18 in the year 2000 and has 2 loving parents and 7 siblings. In the film adaptation, Character A is 18 in the year 2000 and has 2 loving parents and the truthful line “I’m an only child.” 2) Stuff in the source material doesn’t get included, but there’s no proof it doesn’t exist in the adaptation. The theatre adaptation doesn’t show or mention Character A’s parents, but they never say anything like “I never knew my parents.” 3) Stuff in the source material ultimately doesn’t get included in the adaptation (could be type 1 or 2), but it did get included in drafts of the adaptation/the adaptation creators really tried to include it but never found space for it so it never reached the drafts. Also noticed “types” for adding stuff back when I was working on the fic page. I’m wondering if Adapted Out inversion isn’t the right thing to describe some of these? This list is also going to include half-adding stuff back because it wasn’t 100% removed, which makes me wonder if everything I put under Adapted Out is being used correctly… maybe the characters not 100% removed are actually just an Adaptation Distillation and the readdition is an Expansion? I’ll look into it. But I digress. 1) Character gets a pretty vague reference in the adaptation’s adaptation, one that isn’t a crystal-clear identification of who exactly is being referenced. For example, the theatre adaptation of the film has Character A refer to “my siblings.” That means at least 2 siblings are included, but we have no clue if this means all 7 are included or not. Or the theatre adaptation of the film shows Character A dancing with someone at the ball. The original book had Character A dance with several characters at the same ball. It’s probably one of those characters, but we have no clue exactly which one. 2) Character gets a clear reference in the adaptation of the adaptation. The theatre adaptation of the film also has Character A refer to “my sister, the pilot” and the

original book has only one sister of Character A that is a pilot. It also has Character A buy baseball tickets with someone with pink hair, and the original book has only one character who buys baseball tickets with Character A and has pink hair. 3) Character is referenced/addressed by name or role in the adaptation of the adaptation. 4) Character appears in the adaptation of the adaptation. Mix and match. I’ve noticed a lot of vaguely referenced characters upgrading to clear references (a 1 situation upgrades to a 2), and clearly referenced characters who were only mentioned getting clear references and mentions again but also appearances (a 2 and 3 situation upgrades to a 2, 3, and 4). Now I realize if you start with a 2 and one-of-3-or-4 situation and upgrade to a 2 and both-3-and-4 situation, you weren’t wholly Adapted Out of the story, you just get your role expanded. I’m pretty sure that’s Adaptation Expansion instead and I’ll have to fix that (I just checked the Adaptation Expansion page again and it directly mentioned reintroducing darker elements of fairy tales back in, so adding back stuff that already existed counts too. It’s not just for making up new stuff to expand on what existed the way I thought). But I’m really not sure if going from a 1 to a 2 is Expansion or inverting Adapted Out. Maybe it’s a different trope entirely. Ditto with being unsure for going from a 1 and one-of-3-or-4 situation to a 1 and both-3-and-4. And for swapping which of 3 or 4 you have, but staying a one-of-3-and-4 situation. Also not that sure where to draw the lines. When does it stop being “yeah Hamilton Adapted this Out and you put it back in, it’s an Adapted Out inversion” and start being “this was way too far removed from/insignificant to the musical’s story to be considered Adapted Out of it, so putting this true historical thing in this fic is no longer Adapted Out”? (It’d definitely be Shown Their Work but I think there’s a more specific trope for it?) Like, is the incident where he talked to John Witherspoon is clearly referenced in a musical line without mentioning Witherspoon himself (and later he’d evacuate the college before the soldiers got near it), is that significant enough a line and significant a role in Hamilton’s life to make the guy Adapted Out and thus making it an Adapted Out inversion when you put him back in? If he’s not significant enough, Sally gets the same line count in the musical (“everyone who loves me has died”) that could make one think of her and how she’s not here, and gets around the same mentions in the fic. Is her “you actually don’t exist” version of not appearing as opposed to Witherspoon’s “we’re not mentioning you but you probably do exist” enough to make her count as Adapted Out in the musical and to thus make her inclusion an inversion of that trope in the fic? Troping this fic is probably my new hyperfixation. Why couldn’t it be math, I literally have a math class whose work I’m neglecting to trope this fic lmao kill me Oh one more thing I am worried the Round 2 musical will fly off into the tumblr namechange void someday. I know I have a copy, from when I could actually message you on tumblr and asked you permission to back up some tumblr posts and you said yes. So I thought of instead of asking you to put it somewhere else, I could get it backed up with that web.archive.org thing or the wayback machine or whatever, maybe those are the same things, in order to be able to link to your stuff somewhere other than tumblr and have it still be clearly yours (my current backup is a Google Doc full of copy/pastes from tumblr because I didn’t think of better options when I did that. If I was inclined to lie, I could very easily just… change it and claim it’s still a copy/paste from you). But then I realized it’s probably better for people to go to your actual pages to give you the traffic instead of the wayback machine or whatever. I don’t remember if you finished songs for the round 2 musical or if it was just a general outline, but this is a request/suggestion (not a demand) to have you

put that on ao3 too instead of only on tumblr? Again, thanks for writing it and for responding to me about it.

hi anon! thank you very very much and it is very cool to see how excited you are about getting all the tropes down! I'll be honest, I hadn't even heard of adapting in or adapting out or any of the trope inversion terminology or downplayed or just. all the lexicon that tvtropes uses, so I am not going to be useful in terms of you making those calls, but I both trust your judgement as well as the glory of a crowdedited thing is that the crowd will eventually reach consensus, hopefully!

one correction, though, re his sister Sally: whenever Wait For It is supposed to have been sung, which I'm assuming you're referencing, it is definitely before the late 1790s as the Reynolds Pamphlet hasn't gone down yet, and Sarah (Sally being a nickname) Burr-> Reeve died in 1797. so the musical line could only have been a reference to that specifically if they were ignoring timelines, which, to be fair, they do quite a lot (the 'first murder trial' bit from the end of Non-Stop actually happened in 1800.)

as for the round 2 musical, I do not have any plans of posting it on ao3, or really anywhere else besides tumblr. I do not post things to my ao3 that are not intended for and thus edited for my ao3. quite frankly, I barely intended to post 'musical, round 3' to ao3; it just got too long to make a reasonable tumblr post and I'd written a lot of active lyrics enough for it to become worthwhile to add that extra polish and throw it up as a fic. round 2 was mostly a thought experiment, I have no more written than the single tumblr post I wrote about it, I plan to write no more than that post, and I do not plan to bring it up to my ao3 standards and will not be posting it on ao3.

I'm honestly not too worried about traffic for ifmlam, and do not mind a link to wayback machine, or cross-posting the post to another website. honestly I don't really care if you put it up on ao3 yourself; I think someone else did it for they had a version of 'musical, round 2', and it was really cool and fell under the general 'fanworks of ifmlam' category. so if you care deeply about things being on ao3 you can post it yourself with a note of it was copy-pasted from the author's tumblr, I don't really care. however, if you're worried about preserving the proof of canoninity, I have no plans of changing my tumblr url mostly because I did so once and it was deeply inconvenient to try to go back and change it in all of my fic, but also tumblr might go down, who knows, wayback machine may very well be safer. also, like. these days I have moved on to enough other different work between both being interested and active in different fandoms as well as spending most of my time writing original work that it feels kind of like false advertising to direct people to my blog specifically for the sake of ifmlam with the expectation of more ifmlam content. when ifmlam gets new content, it'll be on ao3, and there really isn't a lot of related content or fandom blogging on this blog anymore, and given that I link to my blog in every chapter, I figure the people who want to look at my other writing and/or actually support me via ko-fi or patreon have ample chance to. I'm not really concerned about whether or not I'll lose audience because the tvtropes page linked to wayback machine instead of my actual blog if that's what you decide to go with.

[artificialenvy]

CALLOUT POST

@currynahh / @currynya is a shitty person.

I am making this post because I refuse to let them throw around accusations that I'm a predator.

Reasons I believe they are shitty:

I have ADHD, but I'll try not to derail any points.

After not seeing my spouse since Highschool, they invited them to a discord server. I was brought along and given a "+1" role, as in "This person isn't one of us, just @twiranux 's +1. I wouldn't have had a problem with that if it didn't create and "In group" and "out group" where the people in the ingroup treated the +1 role as "not a friend, just a +1."

They have a room for venting in that server, as a lot of people do. I have seen people typing in there on three occasions and decided not to interrupt them for my own needs, however the time I got to start typing in there and posted a couple of messages to indicate I would be typing, someone else came in and made it about them. I doubt they meant harm by that, but I went to @currynahh and explained it hurt to be silenced like that. I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a solution so other people don't get hurt. My proposed suggestion was a second vent room for if there were 2 people needing it at once on that large a server, it would be helpful, or atleast a rule about interrupting vulnerable people. They dismissed this saying "two rooms wouldn't help because what if there were THREE people" which, if there were three people at the same time one would still have to wait, but the line would be split in half and people would be able to use it if it was an emergency and the first space was already taken without interrupting.

When they dismissed this idea, I said (and I dont have the exact quote as I left the channel, something @currynahh is very particular about is exact phrasing.) "If there's no rule against interrupting I guess next time I'm in need to type and someone is already using the safe space, I'll just be That Dickhead[TM] and interrupt? Can't wait." to which they threatened me with a ban, assuming I meant I was going to actively hurt people instead of just pointing out that there being no rule meant ANYONE could be That Dickhead[TM]

I also pointed out the inconsistency of threatening me with a ban for saying I'd do what the other user actually did and cut someone off. (they never spoke to the person who interrupted me about the event, to my knowledge, and I never spoke to them or saw their name) so I referred to them as "the fucker who interrupted me." Not in a mean way, just.. Here people can be called fuckers, like calling kids brats. I apologized once they said they found that rude, but they kept bringing it up saying I was name calling.

This is Hearsay, but apparently they said the person probably interrupted me because of ADHD, they seem a bit too comfortable deciding what is a factor of someone's else disabilities without consulting them.

Them dismissing my problems and threatening me with a ban instead of trying to fix their server made me actually go to name calling, and I still feel it's fair to call them a heartless cunt. Heartless for pretending to care when really they just wanted to defend someone in the in-group, Cunt cause it's a great word and it fits. I know the word Cunt is seen more harshly in some places, again, so much here. They really take offense to regional and class based dialects. They went to a private school and were calling me mean for just calling a dude I had no name for as "a fucker" when to me, someone who's poor and went to public school in a shitty town in Ontario, it's the norm here.

Since they showed they really didn't care I told them they were fake and left their channel, my spouse chose to follow me which I didnt know about at the time.

They DMed my spouse with another person who hasn't spoken to my spouse or I in 6 years to call me toxic, abusive and a predator. My spouse said they wouldn't have that conversation without me, as its childish and unproductive to just talk behind peoples backs. When @currynahh kicked me out of the group chat, refusing to talk like adults, my spouse asked me to log into their account to participate since they didn't want to be cornered by these two people to talk shit about someone they care about.

They call me toxic and abusive because I vaguely know the passwords to @twiranux 's accounts, despite never logging in unless asked to (for example a daily event in a videogame that they won't be able to make in time but wants the rewards.) and because on one occasion while I was napping, my spouse forgot an agreement we made about watching a specific movie together and I was upset about that, as I'm sure most people would be if their partner agreed to not watch something without them. I tried to keep my cool and just stay out of the way of their enjoyment, but my spouse wanted me to join in atleast for the end so I did, still grumpy but trying to make the best of it. If they had waited an hour or chose a different movie, things would've been different but @currynahh doesn't want "excuses."

They call me a predator because the person I'm married to is 2 years younger than me. @twiranux and I have been together almost 9 years now, we started Long Distance Online Dating just playing minecraft, listening to owl city (our song's Honey and The Bee 🐝,) and making Garry's Mod youtube videos. We would've been about 13 and 15 at the time, though it is worth noting that our birthdays were less than a month away from when we started dating so 14 and 16 if you want to make that distinction, I was in class with people the same age as my spouse. They think the age is gross, but we were two neurodivergent kids who were extremely sheltered at the time (helicopter parents/physical disabilities) who could only have freedom online. We had met through liking the same movies and youtubers and knew eachother a year before, while I was asking for advice on asking someone else out, my now spouse confessed attraction to me and I suggested we try "dating" for a bit, which consisted of nothing new except drawing cute pictures and giving eachother nicknames. I dont know if I knew their age at the time, but I did think they were a boy which didn't change anything, just hopefully shows I wasn't some 30 year old neckbeard hunting for kids on the net, I was just a disabled kid who was caught off guard by a confession of attraction and rolled with it.

@currynahh says they have proof that we weren't innocent in highschool, as (they claim) we asked them to write nsfw fanfic about us, which.. we didn't? My spouse has no idea where thats coming from and neither do I so just a blatant lie. Not that it's anyone's business but my spouse and I didnt meet in person for about 4 years and anything physical took place after we were both legal adults, im not comfortable going into more detail.

After my spouse had me log onto their account to show they weren't going to be cornered by those two, I was allowed back into the group chat to try and figure out why they think im problematic, but @currynahh insists im just making excuses when I've just been saying exactly what im saying here. They say I'm sugarcoating it, I disagree. I dont have the exact words I said about everything, but admitting to calling her a Heartless Cunt isn't something I'd do if i were sugarcoating it as she suggests. This is how it played out they keep trying to shove me into this "abuser" box they framed me in without knowing me.

They would repeatedly spew paragraphs of "points" then block me and leave the group chat while I was typing up a response. They don't want excuses (read: explanations) and they don't care about facts (that they misunderstood certain things and was willing to clear up what I meant if they weren't so caught up on semantics.)

I will not go into my partners mental illnesses on this platform, but they have a psychiatrist who I've met and I have to (sometimes in a way that looks controlling to someone who doesn't know the problems) keep my spouse grounded. The Psychiatrist thought I was doing a great job at managing it, but @currynahh disagrees, saying I'm enabling (without even letting us tell them what the problem is or how im helping.)

Which brings us to the next point; they say I can't talk about the mental health of myself or my spouse because it will trigger them, meaning they block any attempt we make at explaining how it works. They treat us as a neurotypical couple and call it abusive when I'm literally just doing what's deemed best by a psychiatrist for my spouse.

For DARING to tell her to stop calling me a predator, she calls me a narcissist, which is just.. Very cool. Love me some armchair diagnosis. They also diagnosed me with anger issues (from one call in which I was grumpy and then me trying to defend myself from these accusations.) So really, I think docs are being paid too much 'cause @currynahh is doing their job for free.

Because they weren't listening to my spouse, my spouse decided to stop typing, especially since she was just going on long rants then leaving the server before we could reply. Whenever @twiranux gets a chance to speak, @currynahh would leave the server claiming it triggers their anxiety to face the consequences of what they said. Then they would tell me to quit speaking over @twiranux when I was just speaking on our behalf, while in a call with @twiranux due to these reasons.

Instead of keeping their nose out of our relationship like we were asking, they kept trying to tell my spouse (who chose to marry me and lives in another country) that im abusive because they think trusting eachother is a sign of abuse.

Instead of listening that we're fine, they throw a tantrum and tell us to go to marriage counseling (which, although I wouldn't be opposed to going, is very telling that they think people can just do things that require money on a whim.)

They say that "instead of saving up to move in together and have kids you should put money towards marriage counseling" which again, what savings do they think I have? My bank account has -$4.00 in it and my spouse can't work right now. We have nothing.

They keep bringing up kids and how would we raise them? Would they not have privacy? Its a stupid point they threw out there as currently there aren't plans to have kids and there's huuuge difference between a married couple knowing eachothers passwords and not letting your kids have privacy.

They keep bringing up the fact that we've lost friends before without knowing why. So if they want to private message me I'd be happy to tell her about how we left our last friend group after a dispute where the other people were claiming the N word was inoffensive. Or the group that actually was trying to get into my spouses pants and we weren't comfortable there. You keep making accusations then refusing to listen to facts.

Idk if I'm missing anything, if they unblock me and see this they will probably say I'm staw-manning again without actually telling me how and while having no counter arguments. They also don't accept my adhd for accidentally derailing, while using theirs to deflect any criticism.

Karina, you don't know us and you say even talking about our mental health will trigger you, so you need to accept that you're unwilling or unable to understand the dynamics of our relationship but just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's toxic. I wouldn't have made this post if you didn't keep calling me a predator, but I need to clear that accusation publicly before you keep throwing around dangerous labels.

Grow up. Get some help. Learn that your POV isn't the only one.

[volleydorkscentral]

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all: 

Second, questions under the cut: 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years. 

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2 

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie? 

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains?  personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted. 

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories. 

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time. 

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do. 

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k. 

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping. 

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt 

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.  

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it. 

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow. 

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup. 

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter?  WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT. 

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo. 

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff 

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server log #238

"Notch Slash Flux, Cp's Insurance Policy, The Bet”

-They break out into the sunlight and Doc takes a deep breath -

[Doc] Oh! Hey Endrea! Look what we found. This is Crim.

[Endrea] Looks over- Oh?  Another baby?  Is it in need of special care or is it to live here?

[Doc] He's going to stay with me for now.

[Endrea] - I see, well if you need any help, let me know

[Crim] - mouth still full of coal - Nommies! Easy find noms.

[Endrea] - Is it...  Is it eating coal?

[Crim] - holds up a chunck - Nom! Tastie!

[Doc] Yeah. They have a flat pallete, so it seems to be the correct diet.  And it's not like they're the first dragon to do it around here. Liz eats crystals after all.

[Endrea] - This is true...

[Lie] - Come on CN, why don't you go grab your book and we'll continue your lesson

[CN] - Okay

[Doc] Where are the kids Endrea? Is it afternoon nap time?

[Endrea] - Ashe is currently grounded, and Willow and Oak are at Sweet Alex's

[Doc] Ah, got it. Did we miss anything?

[Endrea] - Not particularly- She stretches and rolls over a little

[Doc] Okay. - pauses- Oh Lie... before you go. - concentrates- Gk is... at the gay bar?

[Lie] - The gay bar?  Maybe one of us should go check on him...  I'd suggest CP, but he's not here

[Doc] In chat- Gk are you doing all right?

[Gk] Just listening to the chatter of a lot of villagers currently.

[Doc] Why?

[Gk] Because they're fucking noisy?

[Doc] Good answer.

[CN] Returns with a book- I'm ready!

[Yaunfen] To Crim- You want candy?

[Crim] - sniffs,  then makes a face, shaking his head - No, smell wrong.

[Yaunfen] - No, it smells good

[Crim] - holds out coal - No this smell good.

[Yaunfen] Sneezes at it-

[Crim] -sighs and goes back to crunching the coal -

[Yaunfen] Sniffs the air and smells Lie's peppermint cattails, xe starts heading towards them-

-There's a bit of noise from the area near the village, like people calling out in unison, it has a martial tone-

[Doc] Yaunfen? You be careful over there.

[Yaunfen] Snags a few stalks and trots back over to Doc-

[Doc] Climbs the hill to get a better view of the commotion-

-Zile is leading a defense class with a group of Testificates. They're delivering punches and kicks in perfect and almost disturbing unison-

[Doc] Let's go home guys. - Starts leading the two dragons back towards the spawn-

[Lie] - See you later Doc!

[Flux] Is outside Notch's house, looking at some of the flowers-

[MB] Catches sight of them from his perch on a wall and hops down with Celine clinging to his back. He's eyeballing Crim and obviously impressed-

[Celine] Squeaks at Crim-

[Doc] Good morning Flux!

[Flux] - Good morning Doctor, I see we have a new dragon

[MB] Yeah. Fucking A. You found another Nether dragon?

[Crim] - finisihes his last piece and burps rather loudly, producing a black foul smelling cloud. He covers his mouth with his paws - Me bad.

[Doc] Gives Mb the usual slightly uneasy look- This is Crim. Crim this is MasterHerobrine, Mb for short, and Flux.

[Mb] Laughs at the burp - good one.

[Celine] Eye roll-

[Crim] - looks over each of the new people, curious -

[Yaunfen] Proudly shows Flux hir peppermint stalks-

[Flux] Smiles at Yaunfen and pats hir- Greetings Crim

This message has been removed.

[Flux] - Are you here to see Notch at all?

[Doc] Should I be? Is he okay?

[Mb] Maybe he needs a haircut. Haha

[Flux] - Well he's noticed some of the villagers starting to get closer and so he hasn't been leaving the house much lately...

[Doc] He's probably just nervous. They've been gossiping about him lately.

[Flux] - I see...  Perhaps you could put him at ease a bit?

[Yaunfen] Chomps a cattail-

[Doc] How so? I really think TLOT should be the one to introduce him formally.

[Flux] - Not introduce him, just talk to him, I can sense no ill intentions from the villagers, but he's nervous about what they may be thinking

[Doc] Well I'll come back around once Crim is settled. Okay?

[Flux] - Alright, I'll let him know.  Travel safe Doctor

[Doc] Thank you-

[Notch] Is pacing around a little bit. -

[Flux] Steps back inside and shuts the door behind her-

[Notch] Jumps at the sound of the door-

[Flux] - It's alright, it's only me.  Are you sure you don't wish to go outside?

[Notch] No... I'm just stressed out. - He sits heavily on the bed.

[Flux] - I spoke to the Doctor, they said they'd stop by later after they'd settled in the new dragon

[Notch] New dragon?

[Flux] - Yes, I didn't inquire much, but it seems to eat coal and is long and has multiple limbs- She sits down next to Notch, watching him with concern- Are you certain there is nothing I can do?

[Notch] Gives her a bit of a longing look - No... I..I don't know... I just feel like I'm twisted up into a little glitchy knot.

[Flux] Reaches over and draws Notch's face closer to hers and places her forehead against his-  You're stressed, I can feel it...

[Notch] You're right. I just feel, odd. Like I've changed so much and there's a lot of things to learn that I never even imagined.

[Flux] Her other hand comes to rest on his upper leg, rubbing it in a manner she hopes is comforting- I've known you for a time now, I do not believe you've changed that much, only what you are capable of

[Notch] Isn't that enough to be concerned about? - Her hand is warm and comforting and the skin tingles plesantly where she passes.

[Flux] - Did it change you mentally?  Your personality?  The things you care about?  Those are the important things, and I don't believe those have changed

[Notch] I don't know. I feel different... but then, I have so much more in my life then I ever had emotionally...

[Flux] Laughs a little and gives him a brief kiss- Does that not make life better?

[Notch] Leans into her a little - It does. But I still worry.... I feel like all the goodwill that was earned when Stevie was a child is slipping through our fingers. I can see them drifting apart again...

[Flux] - It's alright, things will work out- As she's speaking she doesn't realize her hand is slipping farther to the inside of Notch's leg

[Notch] Goes quiet at her movements. He can't help but blush a bit as some blood moves lower in response-

[Flux] Quickly picks up on it- Are you alright?

[Nothc] Nnngghh.... yeeeesss... - is a little bit hard-

[Flux] - You don't sound so...

[Notch] Is trying really hard not to bump desperately against her wandering hand and the effort might be showing a bit.

[Flux] - Are you hurting?  Do I need to get someone?

[Notch] No! I mean..no... I'm good... nngh

[Flux] - Then tell me what is wrong!- Is growing rather concerned

[Notch] You're touching a rather sensitive area- he's got a bit of a chub and it should be easy to feel under her hand.

[Flux] Takes a moment before realizing what he is talking about- Ah, that...  TLOT mentioned that to me...

[Notch] TLOT? What-what did he say? - Curls against her a bit more.

[Flux] - He told me how to help you with this problem

[Notch] He did? - Springs up a little bit more-

[FLux] - Yes- Her hand traveled up towards the top of Notch's pants, tugging on them a little

[Notch] Can't tamp down the hopeful note in his voice and strains a bit against his trouser seam-

[Flux] Works at the belt holding his pants up and tugs it down a little- You may have to stand up a little so these can come off...

[Notch] Gladly, gratefully, he stands for her. Looking a bit unsure since he knows she has no experience with this-

[Flux] Pulls his pants down and is surprised by Notch's member, having never actually seen one before.  She carefully touches it- How odd...

[Notch] Little breathy hitch- It's meant to go... inside you... so we fit together...

[Flux] - Ah, so that's what you meant before- Flux lowers herself before Notch

[Notch] Just... be gentle... please.

[Flux] - I will- Flux leans in and gently places kisses on the erect peg before her, tasting Notch

[Notch] His hearts go faster as her lips touch the skin. He's raised up like a flagpole and near purple at the tip.

[Flux] Retreats back towards the tip and places her lips around it, a bit surprised at how neatly her mouth fits around it as she presses in a little-

[Notch] Makes a bit of a needy noise- It feels best if you move up and down on it....

[Flux] Barely nods in understanding before pressing herself farther down his member and pulling back.  After a few bobs she gains a bit more confidence and begins to pick up her pace a little-

[Notch] Puts his hands lightly on her shoulders so he won't fall. But it's been so long since he was touched this way, he's literally weak at the knees.

[Flux] Pulls away so she can speak- Should you sit down?

[Notch] P-please... - He sits down on the edge of the bed, brushing the embattled edge of his long shirt aside. The sheets are cool and smooth against his cubes-

[Flux] Moves back in and places her mouth on his cock, taking it in a bit deeper now-

[Notch] Is trying to not move so he doesn't choke her. But it feels too good to keep quiet and a few moans slip past his lips-

[Flux] Looks up at his through her lashes, curious about the noises he's making as one of her hands come to rest on his leg-

[Notch] Is making a rather blissed out face - Flux... I want to make love to you....

[Flux] - Draws away- Make love?- Her tongue had just begun to taste Notch's precum-

[Notch] Please.... besides, if you make me come, which I just might because of how good that felt, I won't have the energy to afterwards. There's a trunk. By the door. I need, it's a white item, really small, should be a full stack. I only need one-

[Flux] Nods and stands, turning towards the door to grab the item which Notch described.  She quickly finds it and retrieves one item and brings it to Notch- Is this what you wanted?

[Notch] Takes it- Thank you. But you need a little prep too. Come on up on the beds with me-

[Flux] Comes up on the bed, curious about what Notch is planning- What do you need me to do?

[Notch] Moves around so that his crotch is near her and lifts up her long dress -Please. Keep doing what you were for just a little bit longer and I'll show you-

[Flux] Lowers herself again and takes him in her mouth again-

[Notch] Bellies up to her and exposes her privates before licking lustfully at her as well-

[Flux] Tenses a little and pauses in her bobbing from the sensation going through her-

[Notch] Keeps licking and kissing, and then gets a finger in just the right spot to play with her clit a little. He's trying to make her ready for him-

[Flux] Squeaks around the erect member in her mouth and trembles a little-

[Notch] Is having some trouble concentrating, but he wants to make her feel just as good as she's doing for him-

[Flux] Pulls away to pant for breath- Notch...

[Notch] Feels her wetness- Are you ready for me?

[Flux] - I'm not certain, you will probably be a better judge of that then I...

[Notch] Mischeviously puts a finger inside her and rubs in some strategic areas-

[Flux] Can't stop the surprised noise which comes from her as her fingers grip at the sheet under her-

[Notch] I think you're ready. - He unrolls the bit of ghast skin and puts it over his cock with a minimal amount of fumbling with the unfamiliar material-

[Flux] - Do I need to move?

[Notch] Just roll over on your back-

[Flux] Moved so she is sitting towards Notch to watch him-

[Notch] Shucks off his shirt so it won't get in the way- Will you reveal yourself as well my dear?

[Flux] Smiles a little and with a minimum of effort she dissolves her kimono-

[Notch] Leans over her, placing a trail of kisses from her neck to breasts and ending at her muff.

[Flux] Her breath hitches and tenses a little, remembering what happened last time Notch's mouth was down there-

[Notch] He sits back up and takes hold of one of her ankles, moving her leg high and getting lined up. With a grateful noise he slips his peg inside her, feeling her warmth and soft edges even through the primitive condom.

[Flux] Gasps and her back arches a little.  She squirms a little and her face begins to flush a little-

[Notch] gets situated and starts to move in and out, watching her expression carefully-

[Flux] Starts making a plethora of small noises, she's not sure what to do with all these new sensations-

[Notch] Gets into a steady rhythm and rocks his hips upward to rub against her clit as well. - Flux... you feel amazing!

[Flux] - Ah, this feels...  So wonderful...

[Notch] I feel the same! - He lifts her higher and shifts a bit to fuck her as deeply as possible.

[TLOT] Is just sipping his coffee with a huge smile.

[Steve] Do I want to know?

[TLOT] Notch and Flux are fucking-

[Steve] Wild whoop of joy- YES!

[Flux] Calls out as she is completely filled, it's an entirely new sensation.  As she reaches her climax she suddenly vanishes into her mist form, the sensations being a bit too overwhelming for her to maintain her physical form-

[Notch] Comes as well, partly out of shock and then falls as she vanishes from underneath him- Whoooah! Flux? FLUX?!

[Flux] Quickly reforms and gently clasps his face.  She's flushed from both pleasure and embarrassment- My apologies, I lost my focus...

[Notch] Geeze, you scared the hell out of me! I was afraid I hurt you somehow! - He hugs her close-

[Flux] - No, you absolutely did not hurt me.  I did not mean to scare you

[Notch] Thank goodness- He slumps a little, his energy spent-

[Flux] - Do you wish to lay down?

[Notch] Please...

[Flux] Helps him lay down and grabs the blankets to pull it over them-

[Notch] Stays her hand for a moment and slips off the little sleeve. The bit of fluid inside it looks normal enough, and he puts it in his inventory to clean later, or throw away. - I guess the virility of a Herobrine doesn't transfer with a blood transfusion alone. It's for the best though. The alternative has always seemed... awkward and messy to me.

[Flux] - Rest, we can discuss this more after some sleep

[Notch] Snuggles up to her- Agreed. Thank you Flux... for your love. And for trusting me.

[Flux] Returns the affection- You're very welcome

[CP] Returns after several hours in a very foul mood. The first thing he does is punch a wall- [Lie] - CP?- She goes down into the workroom where he is [CP] Is growling he begins pacing- That Bastard can be the only explanation [Lie] - CP what are you talking about? [CP] - The false NOTCH... He has to be behind this, it's the only explanation I can think of [Lie] - Calm down and tell me what's wrong [CP] Sighs- The new mobs, every time a leader begins emerging amongst them, one of my generals gets attacked and then the new leader just vanishes only for the process to repeat itself later but with a different leader amongst them! [Lie] - CP...- She watches as her husband paces in frustration- What can you do? [CP] - In not sure... For now I've ordered my generals to remain hidden away for their own safety [Lie] - So what's your next move? [CP] Sighs- I'll probably have to spend more time on my server, try to get at the new leaders before he does...

[Lie] - Do you know where they will emerge?

[CP] - No, I'll just have to keep looking and keep my mental senses sharp...

[Lie] - And if the NOTCH shows up?

[CP] - I don't know... I may have to engage him...

[Lie] - Please don't...

[CP] - I may not have a choice

[Lie] - Then at least get Doc to give me a pixel of you, just in case...

[CP] - I'll be fine, there's no need to worry

[Lie] - CP please!

[CP] - If it will make you feel better

[Lie] - Absolutely

[Nk] -Practicing fighting in a nice clear area, swinging what looks to be a staff with a slot for something at one end around in sweeping arcs.-

[HG] -is walking by in the line of sight of NK when he notices him he waves shyly-

[Nk] -Pauses and waves a bit, quirking a toothy, but friendly, grin at the other brine-

[HG] -walks up to nk- hi

[Nk] -Lowers weapon- Hello!

[HG] I haven't seen you before my name is Herobrine the gardener

[NK] Nice to meet you, I'm the Nether Keeper. So, you garden? Sounds fun. I could never really get into it.

[HG] it's a lot of hard work but I love it. making sure plants are more healthy then they would be other wise is rewarding.

[Nk] Wanna try growing something unusual?

[HG] I already do that but I always welcome new plants to tend to.

[NK] Alright, here, pretty easy, but very exciting. -Takes a simple clear shard out of his inventory and holds it out to HG- They grow pretty easily, but you can get a variety of results.

[HG] -takes it and hold it in his hands- whoa! I will take good care of it!

[NK] -Smile- Sounds good. Feel free to bring a few results back if you want something made from them!

[hg] i will. oh would you like something else i have grow it food and good -puts the chard away and pulls out some grapes-

[NK] Uh... sure? -He looks interested in the grapes, but also a bit wary-

[HG] we got them from the real world when i was there

[NK] Oh...

[HG] the place is weird everything looks different and has more shapes and there is more stuff

[NK] Sounds... Exciting? I'm not.. sure how to feel about that.

[NK] What do those things taste like? -point at the grapes-

[HG] they are sweet but not as sweet as sugar

[Alexis] - Look out! - An arrow goes flying between the two brines

[HG] -freaks out and falls over-

[NK] -Just steps back a bit, looking at the arrow-

[Alexis] Runs out- Sorry! I didn't see you guys, I was so focused on hunting!

[HG] -is shaking a little- it's okay

[NK] Nothing harmed, don't worry. -Smile, swings weapon up to rest the feather fringe against his shoulder- -clearly examining Alexis-

[Alexis] Sighs- Well, at least it was you two and not CP...

[HG] -quietly- cp is mean to me

[NK] CP?

[Alexis] - He's the brine of my group, you know, short tempered, really tall, sets himself on fire a lot

[NK] ... Think I've seen him? But dunno. I have some minor memory problems.

[Alexis] - Good, I mean, he's gotten a bit better, but he's still a violent asshole

[NK] Ah, I know how that can be.

[Alexis] - I'm just glad somebody was able to tame him

[HG] -is still on the ground making the ground blocks more fertile-

[NK] So, you were hunting? Need any help?

[Alexis] - Not really, but some company would be enjoyed

[HG] I can't hunt

[Alexis] - You could still come along as company

[HG] well ok

[Nk] Count me in.

[Alexis] - Then let's go, I have a bet with Stevie right now and I'm not about to lose!

[HG] -gets up and is ready to follow alexis- what is a bet?

[Nk] -Trails behind, popping a sharp yellow shard into his staff, a gleaming blade forming after the feather frill-

[Alexis] - I suppose you could say a bet is a challenge between two people that also has a consequence for the list. For example, if Stevie losses, he has to clean his side of the house so that it's spotless

[HG] and if your lose?

[Alexis] - I have to do something Stevie's been wanting to try

[HG] that something is -starts eating some grapes-

[Alexis] - I don't think it's any of your business...-Is starting to blush a little

[HG] -shrinks a little- oh sorry

[NK] Kinky.

[Alexis] Huffs a little as she draws her bow-

[Lie] She and CP arrive at Doc's place and knock-

[Doc] Is in the vine room with Yaunfen and Crim- Come in?

[Lie] Walks in from above and looks over the railing- Hey Doc, we have a request

[Doc] We? Oh dear... I hope it's nothing bad. Cp usually stays away if anyone is asking for favors.

[Lie] - When you gave CP your coding, you said you could give me a pixel so that if he was ever removed he could be regrown from that.  Do you think you could give me that pixel now?

[Doc] Of course, come down here-

[Crim] - looks up from where he curled up, looking at the two people entering. One he remembers, but the other he is curious about. Uncurling, he scrambles over to them.-

[Lie] Walks down, urging CP with her-

[CP] Raises a brow at the new dragon- What did you do now?

[Doc] I assume that's directed at me? I just found him like that.

[Crim] - He sits up on his back legs staring at CP - I do nothing, play good.

[Lie] - He's graduated to the gifted class

[CP] Groans before looking down at Crim- Wasn't talking to you kiddo, why don't you go play with Yaunfen

-Sound of moving water in the next room-

[Doc] Be nice Cp, he's new.

[Crim] - snorts little poofs of smoke at him - No plays, noms please.

[Lie] - Well at least we know DN isn't near, I can hear water

[Steve] Comes out of the bathroom with a cheerful whistling noise-

[Doc] Don't say his name....

[Lie] - Oh, hey Steve

[CP] - Endrea isn't here kiddo

[Doc] Oh, no. He eats coal, and probably other gems and rocks too?

[CP] - Coal?

[Crim] - looks at CP strangely, then drops to all six to sniff the ground.

[Steve] Hello Lie! - very chipper. His eyes flick to Cp and he makes a grinchy smile-

[CP] - What is that fucking look for?

[Lie] Happens to have a bit of coal on her and so offers it to Crim- Here, this is probably tastier than the carpet

[Steve] Smiles even bigger- Wouldn't you like to know.

[Crim] - prances over and takes the coal from Lie and like a cat, rubs her hand before scurring off to eat -

[CP] Flips Steve off-

[Lie] - What are you talking about Steve?

[Steve] Markus got laid.

[Doc] Really?!

[CP] - Did not need to know asshole!

[Lie] - Really?  Good for him

[Crim] - crunches loudly on his coal -

[Yaunfen] Tries nosing a trunk that xe knows has cookies in it open0

[Doc] Is too distracted by the crunching to hear the trunk squeak-

[Steve] Shrugs - You want your dad to be happy don't you?

[CP] - He's not my dad

[Yaunfen] Gets the trunk open and starts shuffling things out of it-

[Crim] - watches Yaunfen and crunches extra loud to cover their sounds -

[Steve] Might as well be.

[CP] Growls-

[Lie] - Calm down CP, anyways, Doc, about that pixel...

[Doc] Right, fair warning though. It will hurt a little. So no fair punching me.

[CP] Floats up towards the ceiling-

[Yaunfen] Little excited noise as they find a few toys and tosses them out, a bit of dye flies out as well-

[Doc] Cp... since when are you balking at a little pain? Especially since your wife requested it.

[CP] - I'm not liking the idea of not getting to punch you

[Lie] - CP be reasonable

[Doc] -Facepalm-

[Crim] - finishes his coal and burps a sulfurous cloud of smoke into the room.

[Steve] What is that eggy smell?!

[Doc] Did someone fart?

[Crim] - Covers his mouth and starts to slink toward a door.

[Yaunfen] Nudges some toys towards Crim-

[Doc] Can I have one of your oil flowers Lie? That should clear the air-

[Lie] - Sure- She hands over a flower

[Crim] - looks at the toys, the door, then back at the toys. He bats the closest one back at Yaunfen.

[Yaunfen] - Come play!

[Doc] Waves it around a bit and the smell of sandalwood banishes the sulphur stink-

[Lie] Finally convinces CP to come down and stays directly in front of him- I'll stay right here

[Doc] Just give me a moment. This is an unnatural maneuver, even for me. - Xe generates a bit of buzzing statick and laves it like soap all over hir gloves. The thin coating is almost invisible, but it's making a quiet sizzling noise-

[Yaunfen] Digs in the trunk a bit more-

[CP] His body is tensing in waves-

[Crim] - hears the sizzling noise and freezes, watching -

[Doc] Dips hir hand into Cp's chest and feels around his hearts, looking for an edge-

[CP] Is growling, his redstone heart fluctuating in power as Doc messes around as he tries to remain focused on Lie-

[Doc] Finds one of the normal hearts on the top and snaps off a single fleshy cube. The sound it makes as it releases is hard on the ears. Xe withdraws hir hand quickly, protecting the tiny piece of heart.

[CP] Jerks a little- FUCKER!

[Doc] Sorry! I said it would hurt.

[Lie] Places a hand on CP's chest- It's okay, it's over now, you can be grumpy if you want

[Crim] - eyes grow wide at the noise and he slinks away from everyone looking for a shadow to hide -

[Doc] I chose a protected spot so that it would regenerate really quickly. Shouldn't take more then a few minutes to fill back in-

[Yaunfen] Brings another toy over to Crim- Play?

[Steve] Walks closer to look at the pixel and Crim and Yaunfen become visible to him around the corner - Hey, where'd the wicked looking dragon pop in from?

[Crim] - isn't listening and starts to dig into the floor franticly -

[Lie] - Sub seed, it's vocal

[Yaunfen] Nudges Crim worriedly-

[Steve] Hey, no need to tear up the carpet. You're safe.

[Doc] Tear up the what? - looks at them- what a mess!

[Crim] - claws shred the carpet and tears into the cobble -

[Yaunfen] Pushes Crim- Stop!  No scratch!

[Steve] Stop! Calm down!  It's okay.

[Doc] If you need a scratching post Crim, just say. I can make you one easily.

[Crim] -whines and curls up, shaking -

[Lie] - What's wrong Crim?

[Steve] Poor critter, They're terrified. What's wrong little buddy?

[Crim] - opens an eye - Bad sound bring things, bad.

[Lie] - Bad sound?- Lie moves away from CP to kneel down by Crim- What's the bad sound Crim?

[Doc] You mean yelling?

[Crim] - opens his mouth and makes a screech like static -

[Doc] That's a weird noise. You mean something being attacted by glitchy sounds? What kind of thing is it?

[Crim] Black, shadow, claws. No good.

[Lie] - Ah, electricity- Lie opens her arms for Crim to crawl into them if they want

[Doc] Oh! Do you think my statick sounds like an Endermen?

[Crim] Eyes bad! - Leaps into Lie's arms, he's shaking.

[Lie] - Shhhh, it's okay...- She runs her hand down Crim's back- So long as you don't look them in the eyes, they won't hurt you

[Doc] And Endrea will beat them up if they're mean to you. Some of the ones that hang out here are also her kids.

[Crim] - listens - No bites?

[Lie] - No, they won't bite, in fact there are some really friendly endermen around here as well

[Steve] You'll like Enderbro, he's just a big kid.

[Crim] - whimpers but nods.

[Doc] And you're safe with us Crim.

[Lie] - Doc is right, we won't let anything hurt you

[Doc] Has a small thought and pulls out a block of obsidian and starts slicing bits off of it. Xe forms the blackness into a pair of tiny hearts-

[CP] - Now what the fuck are you doing?

[Doc] You'll see. - Xe pokes the hearts to make them concave and fits the small pixel of meat in between them before pressing the hearts together around it like a locket.

[Steve] Oh I have some spider string! Here-

[Doc] Thank you Steve. - Xe threads the locket and moves to hand it to Lie with a smile. - Keep him warm and close, just in case.

[Lie] - Thanks Doc, CP's about to..  Well, probably get into a lot of hot water

[Doc] Do you need help?

[CP] - No

[Doc] Of course... well I'm glad I could provide a backup plan and some life insurance at least.

[CP] Grumbles-

[CP] Begins pacing, waiting to make certain the bit of his heart has regenerated-

[Lie] - CP... Calm down please

[Doc] Why are you so agitated? I know you don't like me 'messing with your code' but it's just a crumb.

[CP] - It's none of your fucking business!

[Lie] - There's a few...  Problems on his server at the moment

[Doc] Oh, is that what this is all about? More nonsense with your generals? I would have thought punishing Giselle would have shut most of that down.

[CP] - More like my generals being attacked

[Doc] Oh.... Is there anything I can do to help?

[CP] - No

[Doc] Then... please be careful. I know you don't like it, but we are your friends. We don't want you to get hurt.

[Steve] Come back quick, okay big guy?

[CP] Flips them both off before opening a portal back to his server, the heat of the Nether washing into the room before he closes the opening-

[Lie] Shivers a little-

[Doc] I think we should declare flipping the bird as Cp's official salute.

[Lie] - He'd hate it

[diddykongfan]

Forever AU, part 6. Why Colleen, you say, how are you getting them out this quickly after such a very long drought?  The answer is that if I don’t focus myself here then I’m gonna have that Belle/Hank AU spiral out of control and nobody asked for that (and yes, I do count myself as nobody, because I asked for that, but I need to stay strong and not do the thing). Also the stolen wallet subplot was literally a deus ex machina to have curse!Henry and curse!Jo run into each other and now I have to deal with including it, so like… Yes, I absolutely purposefully came up with a too-easy solution. Every time I tried to write what seemed like an actual investigation that could still lead to the suspects walking away that quickly (based on my understanding of them from crime shows and/or Murder, She Wrote), it came out sounding sloppy and halfway incompetent, which, you know…  No.  I’d rather I sound sloppy and halfway incompetent than write these characters that way.

It’s always a productive night at the Rabbit Hole when she ends up passing out on the floor at Jack’s apartment, after divvying up their cash intake for the night, because she’s absolutely exhausted from staying up so long.

Of course, usually when that happens, she gets more than two hours of sleep before someone knocks on the door, and maybe she’s still half-asleep when she throws her discarded heel at the source of the noise, but the announcement that it’s Sheriff Graham on the other side does wake her up.

Well, maybe she’s not awake, but she is…  Not falling back to sleep any time soon.

Jack answers the door – it’s his place, after all, and he’s closer anyway – but she gets up and follows.

(No honor among thieves, her dad always taught her – you look out for you and no one else, kid, or you’re gonna get burned – thing is, she’s there.  There’s no chance of sneaking out the fire escape or something. And if the Sheriff’s looking for Jack, there’s a good chance he’s looking for her, too, given how often their enterprises coincide.  She can look out for number one just fine without running, because running just looks worse in the long run.)

They’re very pointedly not under arrest, as all the Sheriff knows is rumors and hearsay and circumstances, but since they’re regular features at the Rabbit Hole could they, perhaps, come down to the Station to give statements?

No hint what the crime is, but then, it is an open investigation and even she can tell they’re suspects.  She wonders which drunkard pointed in their direction, because it sure as hell wasn’t the bartender.  He’s got a weirdly loyal streak towards her, which she doesn’t get, but which she will absolutely take advantage of as long as she can.

She’s already mentally calculating which of the town’s very few lawyers to call up if this goes any further than a friendly chat – Guerriero is in the lead, meek and kind of unassuming, not a shark like Gold or D.A. Spencer, but affordable – when, before the Sheriff can even speak to them, the Station’s phone rings.  When whoever’s on the other end is done, the man in front of them is pinching the bridge of his nose, looking for all the world the picture of exasperation.

Odd.

The Sheriff isn’t known for showing much emotion beyond a friendly smile.  Oh, there’s talk that he’s been different lately, and Jack had told her about the man getting drunk and upset at Granny’s just two nights ago.  His throwing a dart at Deputy Swan’s head to get her to pay attention had been all the gossip yesterday morning (and that’s probably the only reason Jack brought it up, but still).

“It turns out I don’t need those statements after all,” he sighs after a moment.  Well.  That’s- Whatever.

“Isn’t that good news, Sheriff?” she asks, smiling at him a little, “Not that you wasted your time, obviously, but that there wasn’t actually a crime, I’m guessing?”

He doesn’t smile back.  Just shakes his head slowly with a barely uttered “I suppose you’re right” that feels more like a dismissal than the actual dismissal had.

Again.  Whatever.  She needs sleep anyway.

And then, as they’re leaving– Deputy Swan is bringing in some guy that she’s maybe seen around town, or something, ‘cause he kind of looks familiar, she thinks, and he just stares at her and calls her Jo.

What.

She’s not sure why she acknowledges him, when she corrects him, tells him her name is Vera.  He’s nobody, right?

So why does she care if he knows her name?

…

“The ‘stolen’ wallet turned up under the seats of the cab,” Graham says, without preamble, once their guest is in the cells for processing and the two of them are in his office.  Emma winces.  She’d gone to the accident and then the docks, taking two of the calls instead of one, so that he could focus on going and interviewing their victim in person about the “theft” and then actually investigating it.  Having that be a waste of time feels a little like a slap in the face, and probably more so to him.

Best to move on to the next topic of business.

“According to Doctor Bellamy, her brakes failed and she couldn’t stop in time to not hit the guy on the bike,” Emma informs Graham, “Billy got out there with the tow truck to take her car into the shop, and he said he’d call if there was anything we should know.  Doc agreed to come down and fill out any paperwork on her lunch, but since she was already running late to see her patients, I let her go so she could work on rearranging anything that needed doing there. The bike was completely totaled. Billy took that, too, said he'd bring it down here as soon as we call for it.”

“And the victim?  Did anyone find them?”

“No. Except for the damage to the car, there was no trace whatsoever that anyone had been on the bike when the crash happened. What I’m wondering,” and she can’t believe she’s about to say this, because it may be the strangest sentence that has ever come out of her mouth, even since she started discussing Operation Cobra with Henry, “Is if our guest over there might be our crash victim.”

It doesn’t make sense in the way that she likes her world to; even allowing for what happened last night with Graham (and only allowing for that because she witnessed it), the odds of it happening to two different people in town in less than a day?  That has to be astronomical.

“He said he was riding his bike and then he was in the water with no idea how,” she adds, because it’s the entire reason she brings up the theory.  It’s the entire reason the theory even entered her mind.  After all, someone had to have been on that bike.  There’s a person-shaped dent in the hood of Doctor Bellamy’s car, even if there is currently no person to account for said dent.

“It’s possible,” Graham draws out the words, looks like he’s considering.  Glances out at their guest.  “I never heard of anyone else who could- It’s one of the laws of magic.  Dead is supposed to be…  She used to complain about it, in the old world, when she would go on tirades against Snow.  I heard enough to piece some things together.”

“But if one person can come back," namely Graham himself, "who’s to say that there aren’t others?” she sighs as she finishes his thought, follows his logic of how it’s possible.  Even if she is going to pointedly ignore the words laws of magic and old world and Snow.  For the moment, anyway. And while she’s asking questions, she supposes she might as well voice another.

“When we were on our way in, Vera and Jack were headed out.  He called her Jo.  Could it maybe be his memories from before-” Before the curse?  No, she still feels ridiculous saying that out loud.  Still feels like someone is going to pop up and say that it’s all some very elaborate joke and they fooled her every time she even considers admitting that there’s a curse (even if she does have to admit that dead bodies vanishing and then the person not being dead anymore is a very compelling reason to say that something very not normal is going on in Storybrooke).

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head, “I didn’t know many people, before, and neither of them were among the few I did.  I don’t see how it could be, though- I only remember because of you.”

Right. That Savior thing that hangs in the air, unspoken between them, but heavy on her head anyway because of Henry. Because if the curse is real, as Graham has said it is, if Henry is right, then she has the fate and identities of everyone in town riding on her. Including, potentially, her parents.

But no pressure, right?

"How did I make you remember, anyway?"

(No one else seems like they're changing all that much because of her. Oh, Mary Margaret is more self-confident, sometimes, but she still doesn't seem like she's remembering some sort of fairytale life or whatever. Knowing what happened with him may be important.)

He hesitates, she can tell. But it's brief before he very obviously decides to give in and answer.

"You know this world's fairytales," he starts, low, and she is confused, "They aren't right on much, but... You know- What the strongest method for breaking curses is considered to be?"

She bites her lip, thinking. He seems so nervous, to explain. She considers the tropes and plot devices that are so common in the stories that she used to read, before she gave up on believing in magic and happy endings, the stories that Henry has been going on about since she met him.

There's one thing her mind lands on, but- No. It can't be that. Can it?

"You know what happened between us before I got my memories back."

And now she sees the reason behind his hesitation, the reason he does not name the cause he has identified himself, edges around it and lets her make the conclusion. He knows her enough to know that the very idea of True Love's Kiss is something that might make her run away.

(Such a definite, optimistic term for something that has just barely begun to blossom between them. It's too soon, and she knows that he knows she would feel that way. But he- Clearly, he doesn't want to lie to her, tell her he has no idea what it is that caused his memories to break through. She's not sure which aspect of his telling her that she appreciates more - his consideration towards her discomfort in the very idea, or his deciding not to even try and lie.)

“But it didn’t break the whole curse,” she shakes her head, and, yes, maybe she did finally say the word. Still doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her doubts.

“No,” he agrees, “It didn’t.”

“Why not?”

(She’s fairly certain that she can’t just…  Go around and kiss everyone in town’s memories back.  She doesn’t care about them the way she does him- Even if love is a stronger word than she would use, just yet.)

“I don’t know. I’m no expert in magic, by any means.”

(Who is, though? Most of the people supposedly have no memories, and therefore even if they were experts in magic before, won’t be now. Even under the assumption that it’s all true, that only leaves room for Regina to know and be an expert, and even if Emma was willing to ask her – which she’s not – there’s no way that the “Evil Queen” would be willing to answer. It’s her curse to protect, after all. Gold, maybe, he always seems like he knows something, like the world is a big inside joke to him. But she already owes him one favor and she’s not eager to accumulate more.)

Atop the desk, she lets her fingers twine with his. She’s scared, yes. And it’s frustrating to have more questions than answers – and frustrating that the one answer she’s been given is the one that scares her more than anything else that’s happened. But she does care about him, and she cares about Henry, and with those two sureties, she’s willing to try and figure something out.

[ilosttrackofthings]

Shoulder rubs for biospecialist please and thank you with sunshine and science on top!

“I would be happy to let Giyera deal with this,” Malick says with a vicious smile, “he does have a particular knack for this sort of thing, but there’s been a complication.”

Grant’s pulse kicks up. The last time there was a complication while FitzSimmons were being brought in, it was John’s heart stopping. He walks a little faster down the hallway; with the two of them, there’s no way he can prepare for what’s coming until he’s seeing it for himself.

Simmons is Fitzless in the room at the end of the hall. A lab, actually, which effectively erases any relief he might’ve felt at her being alone; she’s more dangerous with a scalpel than a gun. There’s a guard on the door - inside and out, interesting choice - and a doctor hovering over Simmons, who’s unrestrained, propped up by no less than three pillows, and very pregnant.

Grant was right, there is no way he could’ve foreseen this.

But he should’ve, he thinks as numb legs carry him closer. He was too little to remember when his mother was expecting Thomas and he wasn’t around when Anna had her kids, but he knows what Simmons looks like when she’s not carrying a person inside her. That big a belly, that could definitely be a whole baby in there.

She watches him, angles closer to the HYDRA doc as he draws near to keep as much distance as her position allows between them. The doctor doesn’t do shit to protect her from him. In fact, after laying a steadying hand on her shoulder, she leaves her to report quietly to Malick. 

Grant’s not really trying to pay attention - he’s a little busy focusing on Simmons’ wary eyes and swollen stomach - but years of spy work aren’t easily set aside. He hears “thirty-seven weeks” and “telling the truth,” which all lead to something he doesn’t give a damn about when he hears the word “healthy.”

The pounding of his heart, which has only increased since he saw her, finally softens to something less than deafening. He may not know anything about pregnancy but he can count, and thirty-seven weeks sounds about right.

“As you can see,” Malick says, voice gentler than Grant’s ever heard it, “circumstances have changed.” He comes to the end of the exam bed and gives Jemma a fatherly smile. “Dr. Simmons here has not only done what no man sent through the monolith in ten thousand years has managed, she’s found favor with our God while in his presence.”

“So torturing her is off the table,” Grant says, putting to words what Malick won’t. For that, he gets a glare, like the old man thinks Jemma is dumb enough not to have realized torture was on the menu the second HYDRA got their tentacles on her. As for her, she’s still holding Grant’s gaze. The fear in her eyes spikes a little at his words, but not a lot. There’s something else taking up space in them. A question, maybe even a plea.

“Of course,” Malick says, voice dripping false sincerity, “we’re not animals, Ward. And it’s not as though there’s any need for it now that we know our goals are all aligned. You want the same thing we do, doctor, I’m sure.”

Jemma dares to look at him, and Grant takes the opportunity to move in. He rests a hand on her shoulder and doesn’t miss the way Malick’s cheek twitches at the familiarity. 

“It’s been tough, I bet,” Grant says lowly while massaging the tension out of her neck, “inside SHIELD all this time. I bet you never even told the team who the father is.”

She tips her head up to face him. She looks the same as she did when he cornered her in that bar three weeks after Kara’s death. Steady. Scared but brave enough not to back down. Angry at someone other than him. Less drunk now though, which is good, considering. “No. No, I didn’t think they’d take it well.”

“But we’re not them,” he says before Malick can try to cut his way into the moment. “We understand.” He presses his fingers against the side of her stomach. “Your kid’s gonna need his father. And a father will do whatever it takes to protect his child, his family.” 

She nods slowly and he feels her fingers wrap around his wrist, just outside of Malick’s line of sight.

“So,” he says with a smile, “you wanna answer Malick’s questions about how you got back?”

She drags in a breath and for a second he’s afraid she’ll crack under the weight of the lie she spun, but then he remembers this isn’t the Jemma from the Bus. This is the new and improved version, the one that killed Bakshi, nearly killed him, and drove him up the wall - almost literally - in Andover. 

She meets Malick’s eyes without a hint of fear or deception. “Of course. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family.”

The way her fingers tighten around his wrist on the final word is promising, but investigating her real feelings on the subject will have to wait until he’s got Malick occupied enough with this god of his that he can get his family the hell out of here.

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: I do not get his grading system at all or what is supposedly wrong with this case study evaluation

Jac: He didn’t explain in his feedback? He’s usually one of the better ones for actually giving more than ❌s and ✔️s

Jac: You could add your own queries on the doc and drop him an email, I’m sure he’ll get back to you

Savannah: his explanations are part of the problem, I swear it’s as though I’m looking at different pages to him

Jac: That’s weird, there must be miscommunication somewhere along the line

Jac: We don’t have him ‘til next week, but I’m pretty sure his Wednesday afternoons are free, if you want to go talk IRL

Savannah: Mhmmm in the first class discussion & essentially every other one since, clearly he doesn’t respond very well to me IRL so

Jac: 😟 He can’t take class participation into account for a case study eval though, that would be totally unprofessional, not to mention unfair

Jac: What grade did you get, if you don’t mind me asking?

Savannah: [a grade that’s still better than I could ever do but isn’t like perfect top marks that she’d get at school]

Savannah: it makes zero sense, everything he’s deducted for is there

Jac: At least you still did amazingly, I thought the grade was totally off, because that could’ve been a systems thing

Jac: You can ask for a second lecturer’s opinion

Jac: I know Taylor has done so MULTIPLE times… to no avail in her case, of course

Jac: but I’ll totally look it over first if you like, save going through that procedure, I’m sure the information is there if you say it is

Savannah: Not well enough & my dad has already called demanding to know exactly how I did, meaning I’ve had to start my morning with a lie that we’ve had no grades back because [the lecturer’s name]’s comments don’t match up to it being a systems thing

Jac: He doesn’t need to know right this second anyway, and the first grade doesn’t have to be final if you want to/need to reattempt so it doesn’t matter, you can tell him then

Jac: What time did he call today?

Savannah: but I need to know what I’ve done wrong to get a worthwhile final grade

Savannah: I’ve never had to re-attempt anything before, ever, which matters more right now than whether or not my dad is waking me up to check in

Jac: I know, babe

Jac: It was always going to be different, an adjustment, everyone always says so

Jac: it’s a chance to get it literally word perfect, which you wouldn’t have had if you’d got the grade you wanted to begin with

Jac: see it like that, and not a failing, because you literally didn’t fail

Jac: I bet you still got better than, like, everyone else in the class, yeah?

Savannah: different, yes, but not difficult

Savannah: I should’ve just told my dad the truth earlier, I’m used to nothing I do being good enough as far as he’s concerned

Jac: If it will make you feel better, you can still do it now

Jac: You got the results today, there’s no lie there, plenty of lecturers miss the 9 AM deadline

Jac: but I’m just worried it’ll only make you feel worse, and that’s not what you need

Savannah: I’m worried too, why doesn’t he like me?

Savannah: if I’d done something wrong you’d have told me & I know 2 years of Catholic school hasn’t left me that out of touch socially

Jac: He doesn’t not like you

Jac: and that wouldn’t be a good enough reason to change your grade regardless

Jac: I think you just differ in approaches

Jac: but there’s no reason you can’t meet in the middle still

Savannah: I’m aware how emotionally unstable I sound, it’s clearly catching because Sienna went out last night & my mum called me immediately after they’d all posted asking me where she was & who the boys were, it wasn’t even a party or anything but she wouldn’t stop

Savannah: It took so long to calm her down it was literally morning, I’m honestly amazed my battery wasn’t totally dead when it was my dad’s turn

Jac: You must be beyond exhausted and stressed

Savannah: 🤞🏾🙏🏾 I don’t look it

Savannah: I’m so sorry! I haven’t even asked how you did, not that I need to because the answer is obviously perfectly, but that’s not the point, I still should’ve

Jac: You never look anything but perfect to me

Jac: But that doesn’t mean we aren’t taking today to destress you and relax in all the ways available to us short of a spa moment

Jac: Sienna is actually fine though, right?

Savannah: 🥰 but we can’t, you didn’t stay over because we both have too much to do today & now I have this eval to edit too

Savannah: Ugh! What’s the point of a 🥺 superpower if it doesn’t also work on stubborn lecturers 😥

Savannah: There’s nothing to worry about unless you’re my mother, of course, Sienna’s thriving as usual

Jac: The time you’d spend pacing your room, running your hands through your hair and running to stress consume caffeine from [their fave coffee shop] is always going to be better spent getting your base level back down to calm, you’ll be able to focus better and the work won’t take as long

Jac: Promise 😇

Jac: 👌 Sounds about right

Savannah: Well... that’s too accurate for me to even try to argue with

Savannah: I promise I’ll eventually get used to you being an incredible girlfriend instead of an unobservant boyfriend one of these days

Jac: Obviously getting to see you today is a massive bonus for me but my intentions are good

Jac: It feels like ages since I saw you without the rest of the class around but that’s just how consuming that eval was

Jac: and a tiny smidge of needy girlfriend from me, perhaps 🤏😌

Savannah: Beyond fine with me, I can get you to tell me your grade SO much easier in person 😄

Savannah: okay so you’re an angel but my intentions are less pure, but still very good, I can promise that too

Savannah: academics maybe, but missing you more isn’t something I’m about to come second in

Jac: I only got [the grade above from the few points she missed] which you’ll get as well when you resubmit those minor additions

Jac: 😳 that’s beyond fine with me too

Jac: I can’t promise I’ll concede the point easily though

Savannah: a perfect score deserves a better reward than just ☕️ but if you want to run your fingers through my hair, that’s allowed

Savannah: I’m proud of you but all the more reason I need this win, so you will concede it, baby, however hard you try not to, in the end I’ll make sure you do

Jac: Okay, so I’m running not walking over, understood

Jac: 🥵

Jac: You know I can’t resist your hair

Savannah: don’t run that fast, you haven’t seen the state of it or me

Jac: never less than perfect, I mean it

Jac: but God do I miss being able to offer you a soak in a tub

Jac: a shower doesn’t hit the same but I can still wash your hair for you if you’d like

Savannah: I can offer you a hotel stay, I really don’t care if I lose daughter points

Jac: We don’t need one

Jac: Save that for end of term and we can really be decadent

Savannah: 👏🏾 You’ll earn the MOST 👼🏻 points from my auntie when she finds out you’ve curbed my lavish spending today & you had me at end of term decadence 🙌🏾

Jac: I need all the points I can get

Jac: Any I might’ve accrued all those years ago as your friend are now null and void

Jac: I’m not opposed to being lavished upon by you and definitely NOT to lavishing upon you… but better to be patient and wait now to go all in when we do; that’s our motto, yeah?

Savannah: It’s fine, my parents will be too busy competing with each other over Christmas to put you to any kind of test 😔

Savannah: she’s the only person likely to notice anything has even changed between us from all those years ago

Savannah: yes ^^

Jac: Has anything more been decided? Like where you’re going to be and when?

Jac: That’s true

Savannah: My father is insisting that my mum can’t possibly cope with us for a full day & we should leave after opening presents & the 🍾🥂 brunch but she wants us there for dinner, because obviously she doesn’t want to do that alone

Savannah: & equally obviously he is unwilling to compromise

Jac: They’ll have to sort that out and let you know

Savannah: Their solutions never are, if I don’t intervene Sienna will spend the entire day with my dad on his say-so & not see mum at all which means I’ll have to stay with her & not see my sister

Jac: and Sienna won’t advocate for herself/your mum?

Jac: Pointing out how unfair that is on you when there are two fully grown adults involved, and she is no longer a child either… well, I know it doesn’t change it but something needs to

Jac: For now, put that out of your mind though, a day and a problem at a time, right?

Jac: I will help you in every way I can, even though I wish that meant solving everything, I know it can’t be that

Savannah: You do help in more ways than you’re even aware of or I would know how to draw your attention to by adequately thanking you for, even though it’s A LOT & there’s always so much I could do to help myself than I am

Savannah: for now I’ll start by ignoring any further communication from either of them & not talking or thinking about them, I’ll be committed to a parental drama detox until the end of the day, I promise

Jac: It’s never as simple as not worrying or stressing, but if there’s nothing we can do about it in this moment, in the place we are, then it’s only fair that you allow yourself to put it to one side until we’re better equipped to deal with it

Jac: What is always on the table is talking about how you feel, and respecting that

Jac: We can stress eat and talk it out ‘til it seems as far away as it actually is

Jac: I’ve got plenty I can bring to the table too, it’s so not one-sided

Savannah: but it isn’t fair to keep bringing it to you because you’re the one person listening to me & it feels like nobody else cares about what I want, if I keep doing that you’ll be as exhausted & stressed as I am

Savannah: & yes, you’re right, it’s not as simple as telling yourself not to burn out, I’m not okay, at all, with being a big contributor to yours or this being what every conversation circles back to until Christmas day

Savannah: failing as a daughter or sister, under these circumstances okay, I’ll accept that maybe I have to, but as a girlfriend, no, I can’t

Jac: But that’s what I’m here for; one reason, anyway

Jac: You can rely on me for support, that is okay, seriously. You just feel like you’re doing too much in comparison to me right now but struggles can’t be guaranteed to come in at the same time, or at the same level

Jac: You give me just as much back, and will do whenever I need it, I trust that, and you

Jac: You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had 😘

Savannah: I’m the ONLY girlfriend you’ve ever had 😄 you’re right about everything else though, I know that & of course I trust you & your ability to handle a lot more drama than my entire family could throw at us, it’s me

Savannah: It’s hard not to feel like the girl you had to rescue from a bathroom breakdown every time my parents drag me back into the same mindset with their refusal to move forward

Savannah: we’ve talked before about how much I don’t want to go backwards & how important it is I learn from my mistakes but right now it doesn’t feel as though I am, with them or with you, because they aren’t giving me any breathing time or space so you’re not getting any either

Savannah: it’s overwhelming still being in the middle of them & I just want to enjoy where we are

Jac: I get it

Jac: maybe families always make you feel like you’re still just a kid; or maybe this is an adjustment period we’ll all get through eventually, I don’t know

Jac: All I know is when my sister winds me up, the temptation to throw a hairbrush at her is still as present as it ever was

Jac: things are still shaky in your family right now, but it has been worse, and you survived that, thriving is just around the corner

Jac: but how about we take things the tiniest bit 🤏 back so you can breathe, and hopefully enjoy 🤞

Jac: Let me take you out, on a proper date

Savannah: Oh my god! Where? When?

Jac: That’s my girl 😄

Jac: Leave that to me

Jac: I’ll pick you up at 8, 👗👠💄 dress code 🌹

Savannah: Dress code 😍🥰😘

Savannah: that I can do effortlessly as long as you show up

Jac: How incredible you look IS entirely effortless, that’s true

Jac: but I will appreciate all the work you do put in, that’s a guarantee

Savannah: It’s not work when it’s for you

Jac: Ditto

Savannah: I won’t always be this much a mess, I swear

Savannah: even if I have been saying variations of exactly that sentence since we were 15 & we’re both STILL waiting for the 🌠 to come true

Savannah: it will because I refuse to let anything ruin our first year

Jac: I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you however and whoever you end up

Jac: but likewise, I believed you at 15 and I still do

Jac: First year is just the start for both of us, it’s only 🛫 from here

Savannah: I love you too & I love it here, in spite of my earlier freakout about [the lecturer]

Jac: You know I would’ve been the same, if not worse

Jac: how beyond deliriously happy I feel to have you back in my life aside, it is pretty great here isn’t it

Jac: there was the tiniest fear that people would be right, that it’d never be able to live up to the expectations I’d put on it, or that the thrill of finally focusing solely on the learning I wanted to would soon wear off in practice

Jac: but none of that has been true

Savannah: I remember how you were when I won a debate over you or scored higher in an essay, yes 😄

Savannah: ^^^ Sienna definitely doesn’t trust that it’s as incredible as I keep saying & I know she won’t until she visits

Jac: Okay, not my proudest moments 🤪

Jac: I’ll be working on that, as we’re not 15 anymore

Jac: It’ll be good to have her come, maybe Summer term, that would guarantee being able to show her all the beaches in decent weather

Savannah: & she’ll have hopefully forgiven us by then 🙏🏾🤞🏾 if we do have to implement your plan of using Jude to help kidnap her over the Christmas break

Jac: She definitely will have, I’ll get her a really good christmas present to make sure

Savannah: [things that Sienna would want because of course we already have a mental list of things other than what we already know we’re getting her because 100% that bitch]

Jac: How could she be anything less than 🤩🥳😍🥰 when you’re that thoughtful a gift-giver?

Jac: Even your dad can’t top that, no matter how much money he throws at it, like

Jac: Hoping I can just throw some shortbread/whiskey at my family and call it a day, tbh 😏

Savannah: You better not be intending to throw anything at me & call it a day unless it’s you when it’s my turn to thank you for the thoughtful gift you’ve given

Jac: I feel similarly about failing as a girlfriend

Jac: You will not be getting anything from the airport gift shop

Savannah: You could & would never

Savannah: the girlfriend label may be new but I’m very used to being spoilt by you, beyond what I’ve ever deserved

Jac: Only a complete idiot would treat you as anything less than a queen

Jac: and I’ve never been that

Jac: Well, perhaps in the years between when you were there and now we’re here but I’m paying for that already

Savannah: I’ve been there & dated that idiot in those 2 years you mentioned 🙄 we’ve all grown & learned since, even him, I hope

Jac: I’m sure he’s made a start

Jac: even if boys are perpetually like 3-5 years behind us from puberty

Savannah: It’s none of my business, he made it clear he barely wanted it to be then & even my father, who is obsessed with my love life, has finally accepted we’re over now I’m settled here

Jac: Focusing on your studies has to be his preferred, so he can’t phone about that

Jac: Not that he doesn’t have a long enough list anyway

Savannah: Yes, but I haven’t been the little girl who acts according to his preferences since those preferences forced me to grow up so he should know that unlike him I’m not going to walk away from what’s important

Savannah: if he wasn’t the most self-involved person in my life he’d realise Milo is someone I was fine with letting go of, I’m not sure he’s actually aware you’re here

Jac: Oh, I’m sure he doesn’t remember me

Jac: or ever differentiated me from Amelia and Isabelle

Jac: but that’s fine with me

Jac: It’s less fine how little he actually wants to know about your life and how you are, despite how often he is in contact but

Jac: well, it’s not an issue we’re solving tonight, that’s for sure

Savannah: We both know the only reason he remembers Isabelle & as I’ll never be forgiven by him for my part in what happened, it’d make me really happy if he’s forgotten yours

Savannah: Honestly, less interest in anything I do would solve a LOT of my issues right now, but I can’t do that to Sienna, it would be suffocating having to meet all his demands herself

Jac: True

Jac: I don’t think any of us have forgotten, or should

Jac: But the only forgiveness we need to actually concern ourselves with is Isabelle’s so

Jac: She does seem to field it well, from my limited POV, what does she say about him/their relationship?

Savannah: ^^^

Savannah: I hate that I can’t stop caring what he thinks, there are so many bigger issues here & much more important perspectives than his

Savannah: Oh, her POV is that he did the right thing, leaving, he wasn’t being selfish & putting his own happiness ahead of everyone else’s but that he did it for us, because he loves us & wanted to get us out of a toxic situation which had gone on for far too long, his only mistake, in Sienna’s eyes, is not divorcing my mother sooner

Jac: It’s only natural, especially when he purposefully, and otherwise, withholds praise and approval

Jac: but you’re aware, that’s a huge step so many people haven’t taken, or ever take

Jac: Ahh

Jac: So that’s problematic, and I can get wanting to start to have that conversation with her, give the other perspectives and hope she is willing to consider them

Jac: but in terms of her day to day right now, you can’t get her out of his house, and if she’s comfortable in his company, that’s probably the best you can hope for

Savannah: Her happiness is what’s important & if he is one of the causes, okay, she’s more well adjusted than I am & I’m thankful for that

Savannah: because I’m scared of who I’ll become if I can’t stop craving his approval

Jac: You’re only going to become exactly who YOU want to be

Jac: we’re all scared, it’s okay

Savannah: I don’t love the idea that you’re scared too

Jac: But we have us, and I’m not scared about that anymore and that’s worth so much

Savannah: Promise I haven’t talked you out of taking me on a date? 🥺

Jac: Unless you’re suddenly not Savannah Moore, because that’s the only way I’m not taking you out tonight

Savannah: Taylor would go in my place if she thought she could get away with it, I doubt she’s stolen enough of my 💄👗 for a full transformation to be believable though

Jac: Well, no one is asking her anytime soon

Jac: not in a serious capacity anyway, I’m sure there’s plenty of lads seeing how many Americans they can ‘get’ 😷

Savannah: Oh god, that’s why boys have been asking me out almost constantly, if you can call it that, they see me leaving halls & think I’m another American

Jac: Presumptuous bordering on racist, on top of the obvious misogyny, such a good look guys 🙄

Savannah: as if I don’t have to deal with enough borderline racism & internalised misogyny from some of the 👩🏼 girls I live with 🚫

Jac: Seriously

Jac: They need a PSA or a punch, or both

Jac: Next year will be perfect though, no more halls

Savannah: I’m so ready to not have to miss you as much as I do right now

Jac: Everyone says I’m never in my room but I don’t know how that can be true when I feel like every other night I’m just waiting to be with you again

Savannah: Baby 🥺🥺🥺

Savannah: you’ll make me cry & red puffy eyes isn’t how I’m choosing to interpret the dress code

Jac: There’s no need to cry, once we’ve planned tonight’s outfits, we can plan how our place is going to be

Jac: Even if we do need to find some people who aren’t messy/party mad/loud as hell/too clingy to share with…

Jac: Taylor is once again not invited

Savannah: But what if I need your help to outfit plan? There are 💄💋 that could be perfect for tonight which I’ve only tested on my own skin tone

Savannah: & of course, if you want me to keep my 👗 a surprise, I’m sure I can think of something 👼🏾

Jac: 💄💋 on 😳

Jac: There is one easy way to keep your outfit a surprise and still get all the help you want from me

Jac: You’ll have to be 👼🏾 enough for both of us though

Savannah: Okay 😊

Jac: I’d say I’ll let myself in but not chancing one of your extra dormies doing the same and seeing you like that

Savannah: I could leave my on 👠 & come to you, I do hate that the only association your room has to me so far is that I’m not there & you miss me

Savannah: nobody’ll see anything if I pick the functional coat

Jac: You have to now

Savannah: Well if I have to, thank god I’m already on my way

Jac: I can ask nicely if you need but

Savannah: but you warned me you weren’t feeling very 👼🏻 so

Jac: I did

Jac: I’ll save all my nice for when you’re here then

Savannah: Being able to run in heels is such a useful skill

Jac: You’re beyond impressive, honestly

Savannah: because you’re someone I’ve only ever wanted to give my best self to

Jac: I feel that too

Jac: you’re only ever going to get my best back, I’ll make sure you never regret it

Savannah: I trust you

Savannah: besides, you don’t have a bad side

Jac: I’m not sure about that

Jac: but 🤐

Savannah: I am & I don’t mind repeating it until you’re sure too

Jac: As long as I’m hearing you, that’s all I need