#actually lance would get all those apps in that video tbh

[talulebell]

Hey guys since I have no control here’s a headcanon post about Lance

He never unties his shoes when taking them off/putting them on because life is too short to do that

He has a bunch clothes but only wears the same three to five outfits because they’re at the top of his drawer

Has no shame in letting his friends/partner see his baby photos he knows he was cute

Still has his baby blanket and plans to pass it down to one of his kids if he has any

Keeps movie tickets and waterpark/amusement park bracelets until they fall off

Thinks Cool Ranch Doritos are much better than Nacho Cheese ones

He’s the kid that tried to run away from home but only made it a block down the street before turning back

Is either extremely dramatic or acts like it’s no big deal when he’s sick there’s no in between

Owns at least 20 pairs of sunglasses

When he really wants to get Hunk’s attention he says his name like how a goose honks

Refuses to take a sip of his drink from a fast food place unless he presses in those little dots first and freaks out if someone does it for him

Lance: *sees breath in cold weather* Yeah, I vape

He was one time cleaning his room and he found his recorder from elementary school, played like two notes, and got yelled at by four family members to stop

Has one of those slime hand toys and throws it on anything and anyone

Has definitely gotten the said slime hand toy stuck on a very high ceiling

Lance: *calls the skype group chat out of no where* Everyone in it: FOR FUCKS SAKE

Lance: Yeah, I’ve had alcohol before Hunk: You had Nyquil

One time asked Shiro to pass the aux cord and played an app that goes through 99 bottles in a very monotone voice and made everyone listen to the entire thing. When it finished all Shiro could say was “Lance, why?” Basically this is what he plays

Sometimes he plays really weird stuff over the aux cord but actually does have a very good music taste so he’s everyone's go to

Has one of those really cool fish lamps and watching it helps him fall asleep

EDIT: Alright kiddos you really liked these and here I am with some more

“Hey Hunk can you one day make meals like how HowToBasic does”

It’s canon that he’s pretended to be sick in the past but it happened so often that his parents started to never believe him when he would say he wouldn’t feel good even when he was actually sick. Due to this he would be sent to school and after like an hour his parents would get a call from the school nurse like “Yeah, your son has a really high fever” and Lance would be like “I told you” in the car ride back home

Was jealous of one of his classmates in elementary school because they had the 64 crayon box with the sharpener in the back

Taps on any surface in his general vicinity

Bounces his leg when he’s really concentrating and the people around need sometimes need to tell him to stop because it’s causing the table/bench/etc to shake

Idk why but I get the vibe that he has definitely eaten dog food at one point

When he studies he makes songs out of the material that he’s reviewing because it helps him remember it more

“My name is Lance McClain and this is Jackass” *slides down the stairs on his butt*

He only plays ridiculous stuff on the aux cord when he’s with the entire group to mess around with them and stuff he’s played are - Those stupid high pitch frequency sounds - My longest yeah boy ever - “Mad World” kid cover but the only line said is “All around me are familiar faces” - Yee 10 hour edition - Kidz Bop cover of “Bring Me To Life” - The kid who rants about Sonic these kill Shiro and Pidge is really good at impersonating them

Other paladin headcanons: Keith

[chubbywangji]

me: hey, brain, do you think we could come up with some chubby!Shiro idea that we could just toss off quickly as, idk, a palate cleanser

my douchebag brain:

douchebag brain: okay, so how about this. modern AU — Sheith, Shance, or Shklance, take your pick. Pidge just turned 21; Hunk, Lance, and Keith are 24 or going on it; Shiro, Matt, Allura, and Shay are like 27. Pidge and Matt developed some app game that makes a ton of money and are generally regarded as not having real jobs. Hunk is going to grad school to become a therapist. Shay is a local activist and community organizer and has to be kept from adopting all the puppies at the local ASPCA—

me: wait, that’s kind of—

douchebag brain: Allura, Lance, and Keith all work at the local department of parks and rec. Allura is being mentored by the assistant director, who totally isn’t Leslie Knope but she’s not NOT-Leslie Knope either — y’know, like how you love putting in random secondhand bookshop owners named Fell who happen to have flash bastard husbands but it’s not REALLY a Good Omens crossover—

me: I’m familiar with the concept of an easter egg, yes, but—

douchebag brain: So, Lance and Keith, then. Keith isn’t exactly the resident April Ludgate but baby boy is pretty much only working this job ’til he’s done with the great American sci-fi novel or makes it big with his band that is totally just Keith by himself or something. Lance, otoh, LOVES his job. He does a lot of youth outreach, public interfacing, canvassing for opinions, moderating at community meetings and public forums, and “otherwise bothering people,” in Keith’s words—

me: That’s great, but what about Shir—

douchebag brain: YES. SHIRO. He’s going to grad school, too, but this is probably a fairly recent turn of events. You know how I brought up secondhand bookshops with Good Omens easter egg owners? He works at one of those when he’s not in school. He really isn’t where he thought he was supposed to be in life, and a big reason why is that his life got derailed for a while by an abusive now-ex-boyfriend named Maurice—

me: Is Shiro’s ex supposed to be Sendak?

douchebag brain: Duh-doi.

me: ………Duh-doi what?

douchebag brain: Of course he’s supposed to be Sendak, loser. What else are you supposed to name a modern AU version of a guy named “Sendak” except for, “Maurice”?

me: *looks down at my “Where The Wild Things Are” t-shirt and sighs, but says nothing*

douchebag brain: Anyway, Shiro totally started grad school because he lost most of his sense of direction while working on recovery after he finally got a restraining order against Maurice, and his therapist was just like, “Bro…” because at a certain point, Shiro wasn’t making a lot of progress while working at the bookshop, going to the gym, and otherwise not really leaving his apartment unless Keith or one of his roomies made him—

me: Are his flatmates Allura/Shay and Matt? And Matt and Shiro used to date?

douchebag brain: You know it!

me: So where do the other ones live?

douchebag brain: Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and Keith regularly play roommate-swap because someone (usually Keith) decides that they need space from someone or other. But the usual arrangement is Hunk and Keith (because Keith needs to be reminded to eat, and Hunk likes having a roomie who does their own dishes, will join him for marathons of hilariously bad movies, and doesn’t have a chip on their shoulder about admitting that they love Legally Blonde) + Pidge and Lance (because they both play video games at ridiculous hours of the night and don’t mind enabling each other’s weird obsessive phases)

me: Okay, but what about Shiro. Let’s get back to him.

douchebag brain: Okay, at Pidge’s 21st birthday party, Keith and/or Lance notice(s) that Shiro has started to kinda get a tummy while going to grad school. It’s probably Lance who notices tbh, because Lance isn’t actually oblivious to details, and, “Oh hey, Shiro looks like he’s actually doing okay for once, and I mean, he’s always been hot, but like, he’s exceptionally so tonight, and… Wait, that shirt used to be looser on him, didn’t it, and…… Oh jeez, he has a tummy, when did that happen” is totally a detail that Lance would notice

me: And Keith doesn’t really notice until Lance points it out because he’s just happy that Shiro’s doing better, and then Lance goes, “Buddy, my man, what do you know about Shiro getting fat,” and Keith is like, “?? He isn’t, what are you even talking about,” and Lance is like, “Look! He has a tummy and omg, HOT??” and then both of them are suddenly Very Interested—

douchebag brain: YES GOOD EXACTLY. There, see, are you finally getting the point about working WITH me instead of complaining all the time?

me: ………Well, I would actually like to know how this is supposed to fulfill the, “short” thing?

douchebag brain:

douchebag brain: Hey, what do you think about Matt awkwardly trying to flirt with Hunk while Hunk doesn’t get that Matt is trying to flirt, and I don’t know, muffins are involved somehow, most likely

me: *shakes head; sarcastically* ……incredible. Absolutely incredible