#actually idk what yandere rlly is I just discovered the word today and it seemed to fit my ideal relationship

[assignedvampireatbirth]

Things a man needs to realize before he can properly woo me:

- He’s mine and mine only. He belongs to me.

- I’m god.

- He is nothing compared to me.

- He was put on this earth for the express purpose of being my pretty, loyal servant and devoted worshipper. In return, I shall spoil him with lavish gifts and by railing him silly.

- Beards are fugly, and wearing them is a fucking sin against me. And so is getting his hair done with those ugly shaved sides. Keeping his head full of hair and his face and body smooth is THE shit and he will earn 1000x more love, spoils, and sex for doing so.

- This world and everything in it belongs to me, especially him.

- I am ought to do whatever I please, and he is ought to do, think, and feel whatever I command.

- His mind is not his. Even if it isn’t mine yet upon meeting him, it will be soon.

- The moment he starts looking crusty and unkempt is the moment he is no longer blessed. Unless it’s his hair going in all diff directions when he wakes up. That’s hella cute.

- He is ought to not be overly slothly, yet not so ambitious or full of zest as to irritate me or surpass my own vigor.

- He is my pet. But not in an animal way. A lovely human way.

- Basically be 1950’s housewife willingly. If I need to force him or coax him to live a a life of servitude to and worship of me, he is NOT THE ONE.