#actually i do care because it was invented not only for him but to break angouleme's heart. well. a little bit

[moonshynecybin]

any humble updates on airport au...

context. SURE man what the hell. i actually have a good ass chunk written after this but hey. this is right after vale shows up at PI post sex dream and marc nearly crashes his scooter. happy birthday to these two filthy animals

Vale, like a mosquito, shows up at his box later that day, just before Marc is about to head out of the paddock. Probably because it’s a flyaway and he can’t show up at Marc’s motorhome to plague him there, and because he doesn’t know what house Marc and Álex are renting on the island.

He also, as a man put on the planet to consternate Marc, brings a good bottle of Merlot. And what with all of the recently healed very public animosity, it’s not like Marc can turn him away.

That’s what he tells himself, anyway.

“What was that about, this afternoon?” Vale asks immediately, rummaging around in the cabinets in Marc’s rider’s room and conjuring two cups without asking Marc if he even wants a glass. He’s pretty sure that the mug that Vale is eyeballing to see if it’s dirty is Jose’s.

He folds his knees up on the little couch in his rider’s room, a small act of self protection. He’s directly post-shower, and his hair is wet, his skin overheated. It's all a little — exposed. Like Vale might happen across his guts if their conversation winds down the wrong path. “I have a race tomorrow, quali, too— maybe I don’t want any wine.”

“God, I am glad I retired before they made us do sprints,” Vale cranks out the cork, then sniffs the bottle and makes a comically considering face until Marc breaks into a smile. He raises an eyebrow in the direction of the couch. “Well, do you?” He asks about the wine.

They sit and Marc takes his glass. Vale has unsubtly poured him a humongous portion.

“You didn’t answer me,” Vale ponders, sipping like a cat. “You know, you are not as good at lying as you think you are, it’s just that no one has the balls to call you out on it.”

Marc privately thinks that Vale is actually historically very bad at telling whether he is lying. He does not share this, he just crosses his arms on top of his knees.

“Hah, you should see my mom— she always let me blame stuff on Álex when we were young, it would make him so mad, and I would always get away with it.”

Turning towards him, Vale twists out of his hoodie, and Marc catches a soft strip of skin as his t-shirt rides up. The band of Vale’s underwear. He bites his lip and looks away. This is embarrassing.

“Hm, a born criminal, then? Not a learned one?” Vale is saying, throwing his hoodie over the chair and settling back on the couch.

Marc really hopes Vale has enough grace to let this afternoon go. He doesn’t have a lie ready, really, that he thinks Vale will believe.

“No, please. Most of those tricks I learned from you.”

“Like what?” He’s looking at Marc with big, innocent eyes.

He knows exactly what, he just likes to hear Marc say it.

“Lots of things. It’s probably the reason I was second place at Jerez in 2013, instead of third.”

It works, and Vale guffaws. Marc knew that it would— He used to love it when Marc would do shit to Jorge. Marc used to love doing shit to Jorge for that exact reason.

“Marc, please, please. We are in Australia, you have to pay your respects to Mick Doohan for inventing that move. He’s probably only about twenty meters away.” He drops his voice into a whisper. “Be careful, honestly maybe he can hear you.”

Marc looks at the ceiling, responds gravely, “I’m not a Repsol Honda rider anymore, I can do what I want.”

“Cin-cin. Hey, me neither,” Vale says brightly, and clinks his cup (José’s travel mug that says LESS TALK, MORE COFFEE) against Marc’s (a protein shake bottle that is missing its lid).

He can do what he wants. Marc turns that over, chewing on the edge of a thumbnail. He’s always thought so, but this is a little bit different. He changes the subject.

“Álex wants to go shopping on Monday at the airport, before our flight home. His girlfriend— it is her birthday on Wednesday, and he wants to get her this at one of the stores there, you know,” Marc pulls up his phone, finding a picture Álex sent him of the necklace. It's— Marc doesn't like it, but Marc’s picky. “And I think it is such a bad idea. It is so ugly, too much. He’s going to scare her.”

Vale looks for a second at the photo, picking at one of his nails, and then looks over at Marc.

“You wouldn't get that for your girl?”

“I wouldn’t get her something like that.”

“Well, what does she like?” Vale takes another pull of his drink, a little more subdued now. His face looks– pinched, for some reason. “Your girl. Maybe she has some ideas.”

“Oh, um.”

Vale just stares at him until he breaks. “No, no girlfriend. With travel, it's hard, you know.” Marc puts down his wine, leaning down to grab his racing boot and fiddle with it. “So. Not really looking.” The strap won’t close. He might need to get one of his backups tomorrow, for the race.

After a moment he notices Vale is still looking at him.

“Hm.”

“Yeah,”

“It’s hard.” Vale agrees, and then goes silent. “Tell Álex that the necklace is not so good. Try simple. Expensive.”

After a taught second where the both sip at their wine, Vale looks like he wants to say something more, but when he starts talking it's bright, airy, unrelated. Some story about him and Mick and being a Honda rider at the tobacco money fueled turn of the millennium, hands moving in the air as he mimes some poor mechanic scrambling to switch a tire. Marc watches, and he can’t stop looking at his hands, his neck, the way his mouth curves around syllables, the slant of his posture.

The thing he is realizing, while Vale boyishly shakes his head in a disapproving impersonation of Jeremy Burgess, is that— this hot fixation he’s discovered, it isn't a one-off. It's not the past, it's here, and it's now. He’d thought a little space would clean things up, work the frustration out of his bones, but the lack of space is serving to be just as clarifying a force. He sits and he stares. It's not just a dream or being pent-up from a long season, he’s not even sure that this is new. It doesn't feel like it is, it feels a lot like when he was 15 and meeting him, like when he was 20 and friends with him. Like when he was 21 and at the Ranch. Like when he was 22 and feeling like he was going to throw up, boring holes with his eyes in the side of Vale’s neck and willing him to look at him.

Hero-worship, he’d thought. The thrill of being friends with Valentino Rossi. People usually grow out of that, don't they? Marc didn't, and now he knows why.

He can do what he wants, Vale had said, except that he doesn't know that he can. Because what he wants, what he thinks he wants, well. That’s not really an option.

He takes his first sip of the night, and the Merlot bursts earthy and light on his tongue.

[hanzajesthanza]

if all human comforts (light, warmth, food) are primeval sources of discomfort for vampires, this means that regis is also weird for, or making yet a concession for, sleeping in a bed (or bedroll) and especially with the rest of the company "under the same blanket."

i can't tell what would be a funnier headcanon, if he happens to enjoy sleeping under a blanket in possibly the same way he does eating food, or if he denies the blanket saying that he'll go as far as lying horizontally, but not so far as using a blanket

[inotakumagf]

step on it!

✶ choso kamo x gn!reader

word count ✺ 1.7K

summary ✺ Choso helps you break in your newest pair of Doc Martens <3 based on this and this drawing <33

warning ✺ minors DNI! sub!choso, boot humping/grinding, reader loves being mean, good boy choso, brief choking (m receiving), lil bit of dacryphillia, reader is gn & there’s a line about ur strap but no gendered language. today is my birthday, so this is my birthday gift to myself :) reblogs & comments are very appreciated!

Choso has an extensive Doc Marten collection. Through your friendship and now your relationship with him, you’ve introduced him to a lot of different things. He tells you that he likes how human they make him feel, and you take that as encouragement to show him as many modern human inventions as possible. You’ve got him hooked on video games, iced matcha lattes, and even a little bit of drama television. Your most precious shared interest, however, is each of your Doc Marten collections. You have a humble collection, and you used to only buy a pair once a year as a birthday gift to yourself. 

But Choso has quickly changed that tradition. His excitement over the different styles and the thought of matching with you makes him so giddy; you can’t help but feel excited with him. You just hadn’t expected him to be so into it. He sure does love his platform boots, and he even likes to pick one out and place it at the foot of the bed before tucking in to sleep. It’s cute, but he has definitely fueled your unhealthy obsession with the brand. 

You drag Choso to sit next to you on the couch the moment you see that the new collection is live on the Doc Martens website.

“Cho! Look at these platforms, aren’t they so cute?”

Choso has his head tucked against your shoulder as you scroll over the product page. You zoom into the photo as you envision yourself wearing them. 

You tilt your head. “Hm, actually, I don’t know if I should get these ones. I’ll browse the other styles.” 

Choso lifts his head. “I like them.”

You pout and scroll down the page. “I don’t think they have them in your size, baby.”

“I mean for you. I think you should get them.”

You raise an eyebrow at your boyfriend. “Really? But I’ve never had platforms this high before–”

“It looks really good.”

“And I don’t know if I like the leather they used–”

“It would feel so nice,” he sighs.

You laugh. “Well, I can’t feel the leather if it’s on the outside of my feet.”

Choso blushes and tucks his face into your neck. “I-I mean it’s more comfortable with this type of leather, because it’s flexible and it lets your feet breathe better.”

You stare at him, and he shrivels under your gaze. “I don’t think that’s a real thing.”

He pouts. “It is! The man at the store told me so. He informed me that he owns thirty pairs, so he must know what he’s talking about.”

“But is that why you want me to get them?”

He squirms at your question, and stutters out, “Of course!”

You shut your laptop and push it to the side. You don’t care about the new collection anymore, not when you have something so much more enticing in front of you. 

“Choso, honey. Wanna tell me what’s got your pretty little head all twisted up?”

“I-I don’t…” He stares at you with wide, doe-like eyes. He knows he’s been caught, but he tries to keep up the appearance of indifference. “I want you to get the shoes you like, sweetheart. That’s all.”

You run a sweet, gentle hand over his cheek, which is dusted with embarrassment. You lure him in with soft kisses on his jaw, his chin, and the corner of his lips. Choso’s eyes flutter shut and you grin at the way his eyebrows furrow on instinct. You get him all nice and comfortable, and then you tug your fingers through his hair until you grip one of the buns that he’d oh-so-carefully pinned. He whines at the sting, and at the way you tug his head back and away from your torturous mouth. 

You press your lips near his ear, nibbling on the cartilage before whispering, “Why do you care so much about my shoes, baby?”

“I-I don’t. I just–” 

You mark up his pale neck, watching intently as he sighs and arches into your touch. “C’mon. You’re my good boy, aren’t you? Gotta be honest with me. M’not gonna be mad at you.”

Choso stares at you through heavy-lidded eyes. Your kisses have definitely helped ease his embarrassment to make room for his horniness. He spreads his large hands over your stomach and runs them down your waist so that he can anchor himself to your hips. He squeezes, pupils dilating as you press into him. 

“I want…I want you to step on me,” he admits, pulling you flush against him with one strong arm wrapped around the small of your back. 

You laugh, cooing when Choso goes right back to being embarrassed. “Aw, honey, wait. Didn’t mean to laugh.”

“You think it’s stupid,” he pouts into your neck.

You lift his chin so that he has to look at you. “No, I think it’s hot. You want to help me break in my boots, is that it? You wanna grind on my shoes, baby? Fuck, you're so good, I know you’d look perfect on your knees for me.”

Choso whimpers at the picture you're painting. “Please. Just wanna be good for you.”

He grinds against your core, almost like he’s subconsciously trying to prove that he can hump your boot so well.

“I wouldn’t even need to fuck you, you’d just get off on that, wouldn't you? You'd let me be so mean, I know you can take it.”

He rolls his hips upwards, jerking against you desperately. You press your palm against the bulge in his sweatpants, feeling it twitch at your touch. His eyes roll back in pleasure, and he’s so lost in the feeling that you almost feel bad for pulling away and denying him his pleasure. 

He whines at the loss of your touch. You place your laptop back on your lap. “C’mon, Cho. You have to help me pick out a good pair, yeah?”

The boots arrive faster than you thought they would—thank you express shipping. You chose them because they made Choso blush the hardest. It might have something to do with the max platforms on them.

They dig a little bit at your heel, but that’s alright. That’s what Choso’s here for. He sits on the bed as you model them, spinning in a slow circle and pointing your toe out so he can see them better. He smiles up at you sweetly, and you pretend that you can’t see him blush. 

“You look so amazing, sweetheart,” he sighs.

You stand before him, grinning when he automatically wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. You drag your hands through his hair to loosen his buns, and to tug at them just how he likes.

“Thank you, baby,” you say, “but how ‘bout you get on your knees for me, yeah? I know you’ve been aching for it.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice as he immediately sinks to the ground, switching your positions so that you’re pressed up against the bed. Choso rests his cheek on your thigh, staring up at you with those irresistible eyes of his. He keeps his hands to himself, clenched on his strong thighs so that they don’t wander anywhere they shouldn’t. You reward his behavior with a deep kiss, bending your upper body to meet his lips in a searing kiss. You laugh when he has to strain his neck to kiss you properly.

Choso gasps when you pull back to let him breathe. He looks up at you as you brush your thumb over his wet lips, swirling his tongue around the digit desperately. It’s like he’s trying to convince you to let him hump your shoe. And who are you to deny him that? You lift your foot slowly and press it into his growing hard-on. The effect is immediate. Choso moans and tilts his head back, wrapping his hands around your leg and forcing you to press down harder. Usually, you’d punish him for touching you without permission, but he’s enjoying himself so much that you don’t have the heart to.

You tut. “Are you gonna be good for me, honey?”

The sweetness of the way you talk to him makes his head dizzy. “Yes! Yes, I’ll be good for you. Promise.”

He ruts his hips up against the sole of the platform, and it's like he’s chasing the pain. His desperation fuels the fire in your gut.

“Please,” he cries.

You grin, pressing harder against his bulge. “Please what?”

His thighs are spread wide, caging your leg in between them. He grinds up into the boot, but you can tell he’s getting frustrated. It’s not enough. “Need more, please.”

You oblige, pressing down harder and wrapping your hand around his throat to get him even more worked up. He tilts his head back, giving you a great view of his marked up neck. You get a rush of possessiveness, and you wonder if you can press down hard enough to leave an impression of the boot print behind. Whether or not it's possible doesn’t matter, you’ll just try your damn hardest. Choso appreciates the effort, moaning when you press your boot down even harder.

He cries at the intensity of pleasure and pain, overwhelmed because he can’t quite distinguish between the two. Tears streak down his cheeks, and you smear them messily when you squish his cheeks in your hand. He looks up at you with those wet, dumb eyes of his, and you just want to eat him whole. 

He pistons his hips up faster, and you’d be concerned if he wasn’t letting out the most delicious sounds. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You can tell the exact moment his orgasm washes over him, twitching his hips up involuntarily, and dropping his mouth open in pleasure. His eyes are squeezed shut, and he drops his head forward to kiss haphazardly along your leg in apology.

You pull your foot back slowly, revealing the wet spot in his sweatpants. He whimpers under your intense gaze.

“Sorry,” he rasps. “Didn’t mean to.”

You hum. “That’s okay.”

He watches you suspiciously, which you suppose is fair. Because you lift your opposite foot and press the boot against his softening dick, using his cum as a lubricant. He practically squeals, which is such a delectable contrast to his low voice.

“You promised you’d help me break in both my shoes, Choso. We’re not done yet.”

“I-I…can’t. S’too much,” he says, but still he wraps his arms around your leg and pulls you closer, overstimulation be damned. “Oh. Don’t stop, please.”

Choso really loves everything that you teach him. You might have to introduce him to your strap-on next time. 

[revelboo]

Lol you announced you were planning one for Rung and now I am chomping at the BIT. Waiting with baited breath

He’s a good boy bot

Anything For You Pt 2

Rung x Reader

• “It’s not poisoned,” he, Rung, you remind yourself, says. That doesn’t make you feel any better about the gray bars he’d given you. Especially since they don’t look or smell appealing at all. If the giant alien robot is to be believed, you’re on a ship far from home. Beamed up by accident with no way to get you home for the time being. You’d listened to him explain that he’s not going to hurt you, where you are, and who he is while keeping a death grip on what you suspect is an alien box cutter. And he’d given you… food. Or what he claims is food.

• “And there are other people here? Humans?” You ask, breaking a corner off of one of Ratchet’s nutrient bars and crumbling it in your fingers to send crumbs everywhere on his desk. Nodding slowly, he retrieves a blanket from the stash he’d kept for the human now in Megatron’s care and offers it to you. Just like the bars and knife, your immediate response is to snatch it to you. And frown. “So you guys space magicked a bunch of people here and can’t space magic us back?” Space magic?

• “Brainstorm claims he can’t because he’s not sure what went wrong to make his device pull humans to us. And his invention was dismantled.” Actually aggressively destroyed by Rodimus, but the end result was the same. The unwanted effects of it somehow still happening. Something Brainstorm had shrugged and labeled ‘residual reality displacement.’ In the same bored tone he uses wherever he’s asked to do something he doesn’t care about. “But I’ll try to make you comfortable until we can get you home.”

• Shifting where you’re sitting on the case of your big knife, you tentatively try a bite of the bar and it’s not awful, but definitely not good. “Why?” And he frowns like your question surprises him. But really? It’s not like he owes you anything, so why go out of his way to help you? No one does anything unless they’re getting something in return. So what’s his angle? What’s he want from you?

• “Because it’s the honorable thing to do?” Bemused at your arched brows, even as inexperienced with humans as he is, it’s easy to tell you don’t believe him. Cynical, little thing. Making him want to know why. Wanting to know you. What makes you ‘tick’ as he’d heard one of the other humans say. It’s his nature to want to understand. To help. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

• “Why would I? I don’t know you,” you mutter, deciding you’ve waited long enough and you’re not bleeding out of any orifices, so the bar is probably safe. Taking a bigger bite, you point with the rest. “So what do you want from me? What’s that ride back home cost? A kidney? Blood?” He reels back slightly, like he’s not only shocked, but offended. Not that you believe it. No one’s that nice without an ulterior motive. People always want something and you doubt big, alien robots are any different.

Previous

[starrycassi]

VERY old and uncooked au I have where Viktor (and eventually jayce) end up working for Silco.

(Edited on December 17th, 2024. Added Sky to the plot, edited the way the heist happens, explained a bit more about The Herald, generally added some other details)

PART 1 - VIKTOR (childhood, adolescence, survival)

Singed actually takes the child in. Yeah I know Viktor technically HAS parents but we've never seen em in the show so I'm ignoring them

So Viktor now lives + works for singed. He gets over his morals real quick when faced with a fully equipped laboratory. He's a child, okay? He gets excited and is eventually groomed (I don't mean romantically, just like molded) by singed into agreeing + obeying all the things the older man tells him. Silco joins in on the part later and toys with his brain as best as he can

Singed uses him as a bargaining chip with Silco. An investment, if you will.

A bit of a "future promise" thing. Viktor actually agrees to this because he knows it's the best shot he's got. All the years living alongside Singed have made him into a more cynical/realistic person. He's 13 and already grumbles at "kids these days"

And Silco is an opportunistic man. He looks at this young, blooming genius and goes "yeah, why not? He is your problem, though. Have some money and make me a bomb"

Viktor also gets a pretty decent gun and shooting lessons. His aim is decent enough. He also hangs around sevika A LOT. He recognizes her as the strongest, safest individual if a fight breaks out and tells her ad much. She won't admit it but the praise feels good. She allows him to hover around and he helps her with small things like lighting hee cigarettes or refilling her flask. It's a symbiotic relationship where they both look at each other dead in the eye when someone is saying stupid shit.

So Viktor is like 15 and suddenly faced with even MORE power and recognition, even MORE fundings and accomodations.

This boy pours his life and time into making weapons. His dreams of being a scientist are slowly forgotten as both Singed and Silco effectively turn him into their perfect little genius.

They turn his desire to help against himself, telling him that the only way the under city will ever get better is if they go against piltover and win (which yeah I mean it kinda makes sense) and just general promises and such

Silco is genuinely surprised by how inventive the kid can be, and in return Viktor appreciates the man's offers and words for what it is: a trap he's wilfully walking in.

Silco does NOT feel any affection for the kid. At least not a lot more than he does for sevika or any other loyal worker. He is amused by his intelligence and somewhat entertained by his ideas. He seems Viktor as more of a small dog he's raising, expecting him to develop sharper and sharper fangs. He does care for Viktor in the "one of my youngest workers is more efficient and savvy than five of yours" way

Viktor doesn't feel any affection for Silco, either. He's a really down-to-earth kid, has lived in the fissures all his life and has been coached by singed into how to navigate the under city. He knows singed doesn't really trust the man and doesn't plan on doing so himself. He does love the opportunity he's given, but knows damn well that it's all done for a higher reason.

He does feel a connection with singed, though. It's mutual in a way. More of a mentor-mentee thing than any paternal/familiar relationship, but they're both satisfied with it. Singed respects Viktor and treats him as an equal, which also means he can a bit too harsh on what is essentially still a fragile teen.

They are protective of Viktor only in the way one is protective of their own gun

PART 2 - VIKTOR (last of his teen years, young adulthood, rage)

EVENTUALLY Viktor manages to worm his way into the academy (in the same way he did in canon) while hiding from Silco, Singed and Sevika, and is, instead, rejected. Heimerdinger is too weary of Viktor and his general attitude (for a good reason) and plans on having him interrogated. When he tries to get Viktor to walk alone into a room with him, Viktor panics and starts stuttering out explanations. He knows his position in the under city is conditional. Knows the leash that Silco has around him. The academy could be his safe haven and now he's losing it.

He's also fake-dating Sky while this goes on. Except she's fully convinced they're gonna get married and Viktor is a Homosexual™

Heimerdinger does his best to try and calm him down, however, every word he says makes the situation worse. He's so clearly out of touch, promising things that could never be done.

Viktor is under a lot of pressure and just starts spiraling. Everything the yordle says makes things worse and worse. The commotion calls the school guards attention and Viktor gets almost thrown in jail, all while heimerdinger tries to tell the guards to let him go. Viktor eventually manages to sneak out but fucks his leg up even more in the process.

Sky tries to help, they have a horrible fight and essentially roast each other until they're both kinda crying. Sky cries the most.

He returns "home" and, refusing to be taken back for such a thing, turns his sadness into bright, burning indignation. Silco might be an idiot, he realizes, but he's right about some things. He burns down the uniform after ripping it into shreds.

After all of this, he abandons any dream of ever getting out. Singed looks at him knowingly, tells him that sneaking around is a fine art he hasn't mastered yet, and leaves. Silco welcomes him back with a satisfied smile, and a "see, boy? I was right"

Silco isn't killing Viktor for his betrayal because he smells the heartbreak and KNOWS that this is the time to attack if he wants that boy to be on his side for the rest of his life. Sevika isn't even mad. Just kinda disappointed.

And it WORKS. Viktor is devastated and isolated, and Silco effectively positions himself as the only current logical option. Viktor knows that this is all a shit show but decides that there's nothing to lose by working for the biggest kingpin in the city

This is what begins his transformation as The Machine Herald, or "Herald" for short. His leg is Fucked Up and Singed goes "hey how about I do an unsupervised surgery on you" and Viktor just kinda goes "yeah well why not". He wakes up with more wires than veins in that leg but it hurts a lot less so. Can't win them all can we?

Years go by, Viktor becomes part of silco's inner gang, since Silco is finally sure that this boy has nowhere to run, no one to ask for help. He develops what could be seen as a friendship with sevika. They drink together every so often, trash-talking the rest of the henchmen in hushed whispers in between assignments. She tries to give him life advice in cryptic ways. He kinda gets it. Most of the time.

He makes up with sky and become Best Friends™. In a way. When they're not trying to get each other to come back to Zaun/Piltover

He keeps sky a secret from them all in fear of... Well, of whatever the fuck they could try and do to her if they got mad at him.

He's also a bit of a slut. I mean he's young, hot, kinda part of Zaun's elite, smart... yeah he's getting around. This part is important I swear. No it's not I just want Viktor to get it on. He's constantly sneaking pretty boys in and out of wherever he's staying at that week which is why no one really questions Jayce (see, it was important) the first few days he's in his house after The Trial (idk where the fuck sevika sleeps. Do silco's henchmen just sleep in his house??? Does he provide apartments?? I need to know)

People in the under city actually start talking to Viktor as he gets older, realizing that he's a bit less violent than the rest of silco's thugs and they have a 50/50 shot that he will actually help them in their pleas. This is always weird to him but he endures it for the sake of staying on top of what's being said in the city. And he's also generally a kind soul deep down

He buys from benzo frequently, and Benzo tolerates him because once, very slowly and in a hushes tone, he heard Viktor tell Ekko to never work for anyone with a shark aquarium.

Viktor is quite fond of Ekko. If Silco didn't basically own his soul, he would definitely take the kid in. Which is why he eventually becomes the biggest timebomb advocate.

PART THREE - MEETING JAYCE.

He's in Benzo's shop when he meets jayce.

He goes "yeah I could get him to suck me off probably" and tries to approach

And then jayce pays in GOLD and DOESN'T HAGGLE

And he realizes that this idiot is a piltie. He also realizes that whatever the fuck he just bought and the whole projects he's talking about could be useful for him and silco will not like it if a PILTIE out of everyone outsmarts him in weapon creation. He literally gets in between him and the door with absolutely no idea of what he's going to do (there is absolutely no way he's upping that payment sorry silco you are no match for the Kirammans)

There is no time and he defaults to "oh this is not my bedroom!" mode.

Cue him saying something like "I've never seen such a pretty face in this store. Are you from around here, darling?"

Ekko is gagging in the background.

They flirt yada yada I have the scene but it's too long to write here. U get the idea. I'd anyone wants to read that ask me but for now just use your imagination

Viktor offers Jayce to come back with him to his house for "protection" because "these streets are sooo cruel for foreigners" and Ekko hypes him up. "Oh Yeah Herald here is So Strong and Everyone Respects Him" which is technically not a lie. Jayce gets overwhelmed and accepts. As this is happening the kids are staging the heist but it has not happened yet. Don't ask me about timelines idgaf

They make out a bit, Jayce tells Viktor all about his theory (which is arguably hotter for Viktor) and shows him his notes (because obviously he carries his journal with him)

Viktor is BLOWN AWAY by this. He gets all worked up. Never felt this horny before. They discuss for a while, and Viktor decides that THIS is something he can stand behind. Actual discoveries, not just drawing blueprints after blueprint of the same fucking thing

Really how many ways can one design a weapon in

Anyways

Viktor sort of mildly drugs jayce and steals three of the shiny orbs and then wakes Jayce up and tells him that this was delightful and such.

PART FOUR - Hey Silco Can We Adopt This Boy. For Science

The heist happens the very same way. Viktor hears about it, about the trial, and decides that all these years of work should get him some privileges

He goes "If you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission" and just goes to save Jayce. Originally I had him argue with Silco and Singed to allow him to do this here but yk what? This man is too impulsive to do that. He's breaking his man OUT with two bribed bodyguards and Janna on his side. Sky is 100% on board because she kinda knows Jayce and he's really nice so she doesn't want them to banish him.

Viktor breaks jayce out do NOT ask me how #thepoweroflove and Sky's blessing or whatever. The henchmen get to punch enforcers so they're happy about it.

The "am I interrupting?" Scene happens. It's also too long so.

It takes Viktor a while to convince Jayce to, yk, betray his country and leave everything he's ever known behind, but Jayce was literally about to kill himself and Viktor is talking about change and help and people who actually need it (lies) and he looks so beautiful under the moonlight and he remembered him. So. Really what can one realistically do in this situation if not agree with the criminal who's trying to save you from exile.

They rush back to Zaun, Jayce leaves a hasty suicide note and says he will drown himself in the river and not to search for him (he leaves a slight clue for him being in Zaun as an alibi in case they eventually find him and want to blame Viktor for kidnapping. Which is such a hot and clever thing that Viktor almost kisses him right there), they break into heimerdinger's room via Sky giving them the keys, steal all the equipment they can carry (henchmen & co brought some bags okay??)

When Mel arrives they're gone. She calls for the guards to come but they're waaay out of her reach and Sky is there all beaten up and crying (she agreed to it)

There might be a motorcycle involved. Cyclists Viktor... Yeah. Hot.

When they arrive, he has his very first actual screaming-match kind of fight with Silco and Singed about keeping A Piltie in their territory, but they eventually and very reluctantly give in. Also Jinx is there. So Silco isn't really that preoccupied with who lives with Viktor and more with how to make this child stop wailing.

Silco knows that even a worm will turn. If Jayce does agree to work for them and stays loyal, then they get another good worker. If not, they can always kill him. He's never heard Viktor this adamant about someone before, and damn he's seen the boy walk around with some pretty faces. Maybe this Jayce fella truly is smart.

PART FIVE - JINX AND JAYCE

When Viktor shows up he finds out that silco has adopted a child. Also Sevika doesn't have an arm. Also Vander is dead. So is, presumably, that child with the bad haircut. So is Benzo. Which is a bummer. He liked the store.

Ekko is nowhere to be found. That's a bit sad. Really sad. He sheds a few tears.

Jayce hates everything that's going on around him buts this man is SUICIDAL, basically homeless, penniless and his one and only lifeline is Viktor. Even if he stayed in Piltover no one would've been able to help. He's just kinda going with the flow. Having him gives Viktor his backbone and morals back. Slowly. Very slowly.

Hextech develops WAY slower. Like they're working in a drug den in the middle of what is basically a hastily put together lab there's absolutely no way there's the same conditions. They're doing their best though.

Jayce Is actually really impressed by shimmer and how it can "help" people. He's gaslighting himself ATP and everyone else is enabling him. No Jayce you're just creating an army of drug addicted zombies what do you mean giving power to the people.

Also eventually Silco gives Viktor a laced brace that makes him mildly addicted to shimmer. Viktor is clever enough to realize what's going on but also experienced enough to know that refusal would be seen as an offense. He takes the brace on and off with his own prototypes. Sevika and him both know they're just digging themselves into a deeper hole. With time he just goes "yeah fuck it" and starts regularly using it on his wires for the better performance of his leg. Glorious evolution or something.

Silco actually tries to kill jayce once because he was getting too fucking annoying and self-righteous, but Jinx steps in. He reminds him of claggor (in a bizarre way). She claims that they're both her friends and she loves them and silco just seethes in silence because Why did he become a father.

They help raise her. Kinda. Not co-parenting. More like co-uncling. They're both horrible influences but they aren't worse than Silco's enablement so it's just a very fucked up raising strategies cocktail.

I wrote all of this so I could successfully say that they have a tea party with her.

THEY LOVE LIL JINX OKAAAY. Specially jayce. He takes all his emptiness and sadness and anger and tries to fill it with love for her and Viktor, the only two people he feels are kind of honest to him. He tries to befriend Sevika. Doesn't really work at first.

Also Jayce being jealous of the fact that Viktor got around, specially when he has the audacity to give powder boy's advice (sevika is a STONE TOP LESBIAN you can NOT tell me anything else) right in Jayce's face. Yeah. Miscommunication. Falling in love. Devotion and guilt. Feelings of owing. Hesitant kisses and never said words. YEEES. I know it's a bit tropey but I like it so. Yeah.

Also both Jayce and Vik have long hair. Jinx insisted they let it grow like hers. Jayce's actually reaches his shoulder plates/mid back while Viktor keeps it shoulder length, just long enough to tie it. I think. Still haven't decided since long hair Jayce is too hard to mentally picture but I know he would look GOOD

Yes this also means that Jayce and Vi meet even earlier. They take a look at each other as they both try to calm down jinx and Become Best Friends™

Caitlyn always has a heart attack because YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. She, like Vi, goes "yeah silco is definitely keeping my sister/brother captive" and they're both like You Will Not Believe This.

Viktor doesn't join them in their adventures because he is Not jumping around the roofs. He uses a cane. Leave him alone jinx no he can't climb the stupid ass tower.

Jinx and Jayce become a sort of "ground control" thing. Jayce is BUFFED that man can stand his own in a fight. He's not as quick or flexible but he makes up for it in pure absolute brawn. They're not actually doing anything useful they're just entertaining Jinx every so often.

Idk guys this au is consuming my brain.

I have more ideas but this was way too long already

If u read this far u can actually ask for a small scene on the au or add an idea and I'll write it for u

[ckret2]

Do you think Alex is ever going to give us the full context of Bill's past? It's not really up to interpretation, it was written, there is a canonical story and it's just sitting there.

The mere fact that TBOB got publish throws out a lot of "do you think we'll ever get—?" assumptions I would've made a year ago. But even so, I still don't think so.

At this point I think we don't know because he, specifically, doesn't want us to know—as opposed to "wants us to find out later." This feels, to me, not like a "ooOOooh big mystery! Wonder what it is ;) wonder if we'll ever find out ;) ;)" secret but like a "knowing would be less satisfying than the mystique of wondering" secret—like, not knowing the full details is a part of the story. The movie monster is always scarier when you can't see it—and I think that's the goal with the Euclidean Massacre. We're only allowed to see enough of its outline to imagine the horror.

We know what we're supposed to know about Bill: that he was a freak who saw a truth no one else did, and he was so desperate to be believed and admired that he did something stupid that cost him—and his world—everything.

The mechanics of how he did it are minor in comparison. Did he summon an eldritch god that set Euclydia on fire, did he cast a spell that was supposed to peel everyone off their dimension like stickers off of paper, did he smack the dimension with a really big hammer and break it? Did he get his powers by absorbing sunlight from the nearest 3D star like superman, did he make a deal with the Axolotl, did he get his strength by cannibalizing his entire planet?

As fans, we want to know, sure. But from a storytelling perspective, the magical macguffin invented to justify how he burned his world/got his powers isn't as important as the character arc. Who cares if he waved a magic rainbow fairy wand and cracked Euclydia in two?? The real story is his apocalyptic desperation to be accepted.

So, if we were building up to a big reveal, it would make a lot more sense to give away the smaller secret (how he did it) before the bigger and more emotionally important secret (why he did it).

Like how in canon, we learn Stan's working on the portal first before we learn the far more important secret about why: to save his brother. If we'd found out Stan is trying to rescue his secret twin and then half a season later learned about the portal... well, that would've been kinda lame in comparison, wouldn't it? Not nearly as emotionally impactful.

Now that we know why Bill did it... finding out how would be kinda lame in comparison. If there were anything of deep emotional significance in the method of how he destroyed his dimension, I think it woulda been in the book.

If we ever do find out, I suspect it'd be for some brand new project thought up in the future that wasn't in the works during TBOB, and it'll be in service to that story. (Like how we got the Axolotl and his connection to Bill years ago, but it wasn't until Alex started working on TBOB that he actually thought up the Theraprism and finally came up with a way to use the Ax.) Either that or it'll be like during a charity stream where some filthy rich fan pays $10k for Alex to spill the beans.

[twenty-qs]

I find it SO interesting how Viktor and Ekko present different versions of an “underground utopia.” It represents their different philosophies of technology as well as their approach to environmentalism.

On the one hand, we have Viktor. He believes science will save us, specifically science that augments the human form. I think a lot about the hex claw as his vision of “improving lives”—because honestly, Heimerdinger was right. That thing is a blatant safety hazard. It is not ready for a mass rollout. Also, the only thing it would accomplish is making the exploitation of labor in the Undercity more efficient—it makes the individual more productive, and as Jayce puts it, enables the individual to work longer and harder, while doing nothing to actually improve the working conditions and rights of the laborer. Everybody knows what happened after the well-intentioned invention of the cotton gin, right? But Viktor was blind to this because he had spent so long separated from life in Zaun, because of his desperate ambition, and because he does genuinely believe that science is Good. Especially science that augments the human body’s capabilities.

This carries over to his Herald arc. “The goal of evolution is to supersede nature.” His idea of a utopia is a world where the pains and horrors of the human body are obsolete—where bio-engineered plants can flourish, where violence doesn’t exist simply because nobody thinks to engage in it. He’s the type who would look at a chemical spill and say, hey, we can engineer bacteria that can break the chemicals back down to something safe. It’s great, it’s a good thing. But it doesn’t address root causes, it just enables people to keep spilling those chemicals. It remains to be seen exactly what the price of his utopia was, but it’s notable that his version of “superseding” nature is fundamentally unsustainable. Once Viktor dies, once he takes his power and inspiration and knowledge away, the whole commune dies.

On the other hand, you have Ekko. He also builds a non-violent utopia in the middle of the Undercity with a culture centered around nature. But his idea of utopia is living with nature, stewarding it, taking only enough to live by and paying forward with the rest. His technology is simply part of the tree’s ecosystem. The hoverboard is explicitly inspired by the firelights. Bugs play a central role in the ecosystem by helping to pollinate plants across large distances. Ekko’s people use the technology to move around the tree to help take care of it, and to move across the Undercity and spread their ideology. He doesn’t interfere with or supersede nature. He sort of just—shepherds it. And when Ekko disappears, the Firelights are seen functioning perfectly well without him. That’s what sustainability means.

Ekko focuses on social inequities of the impact of technology. If he saw a chemical spill, he’d go to whoever spilled it and try to make them stop. Root causes.

Ideally they’d work together. After all, Ekko can’t help people who are too far gone on Shimmer. But I’ll be very interested to see if we get some Ekko and Viktor interactions in act 3.

[annoyinglandmagazine]

You know that whole scene with Klaus reuniting with Punch and Judy/ Adam and Lilith? That already gives me so many emotions but I ended up accidentally making it worse with headcanons about their previous relationship that I hope at some point will make it into a fic:

Bill and Barry never really grasped the way constructs were treated outside of Mechanicsburg. They don’t really get the concept that something like that could matter so much to people, that they would actively view people as less than human for a few stitches or an extra limb. That the insanity of Mechanicsburg could actually be an improvement on the rest of the world that supposedly cared about morals in this one thing that they’d never even questioned before.

They try, they really do, they get righteously furious about it every other week, but they never really get it. They’re more confused than anything when Klaus and Judy tell them they should be the ones to ask for boarding while travelling anonymously because they’re less likely to be turned away.

They don’t notice that Punch and Judy take certain adventures more personally than the rest of them do, the way they went all still when hearing a monologue about constructs taken as ‘spare parts’ by Sparks that insist it doesn’t count because they’re not people anyway. Even worse the supposed ‘heroes’ they work with to take down rogue Sparks and then turn around and insist that the job isn’t finished until they purge the area of the Spark’s creations as well.

They’re complaining about their professors and Klaus explains why he dislikes one of them by casually bringing up that he had a pet theory of a ‘sliding scale of humanity’ and he once derailed a lecture by trying to place Klaus on it. They are horrified and murderous and Klaus becomes the first person to marvel at how sheltered someone was growing up in Mechanicsburg.

So there is always a certain connection between Punch, Judy and Klaus over this in particular because they know that Bill and Barry can’t possibly understand. Not like they do. And it’s important, to Punch and Judy entering an outside world for the first time and having it reject them even as it grows used to and even welcomes the Heterodynes but not them, never fully. Heterodynes can redeem themselves with enough determination but how can you redeem yourself when your only crime to begin with was existing?

It’s important to Klaus who knew relatives and friends who looked like they had to force themselves to say his name without flinching because they didn’t really believe it was him they were talking to. University was a fresh start but it took years for him to break the nervous habit of adjusting his cuffs and collar to cover his skin because it was just exhausting to watch the way people changed once they noticed.

Sometimes they talked about it but most of the time they’re just there for each other and that’s enough. Also they’re all way more willing to get into a fight on someone else’s behalf than their own so it gives them a nice opening to beat the shit out of bigots.

On an unrelated and slightly less angsty note I also think that Punch and Judy were sort of the mom friends of the Heterodyne adventures. They got into the habit of spending a considerable amount of their lives trying to make these insane twenty somethings get some rest every now again and the rest of it complaining (Punch naturally had a sign language that the Boys may have invented specifically for him but communicated perfectly adequately through Looks as well) the constant, stupid risks they took to their own lives.

When it became clear that they couldn’t have children Bill and Barry couldn’t feel more terrible about it, they spent ages trying to come up with a solution but couldn’t imagine one where there was an ironclad guarantee of no amnesia. Klaus suggested adoption since they were so good with the orphans they came across but, though it wasn’t ruled out, Judy half jokingly made comments about how she was busy enough with ‘her boys’ anyway so she didn’t need children for now.

Klaus finds it easiest to talk to Punch sometimes because he really listens and waits until he’s finished speaking to offer input when it’s wanted (it usually isn’t). He’s also exceptionally good at reading non verbal cues which is helpful because Klaus always had some kind of allergy to talking about anything personal.

Judy knows about Lucrezia and Klaus. She’s fairly certain Bill is the only one of them who doesn’t. She personally thinks both of them would be a lot better off with someone else, anyone else really. She distrusts something in Lucrezia’s eyes when she’s around them, calculating and almost predatory, but then both of them had unusual ideas of what constituted romance. She doesn’t like it but she doesn’t say anything. Years later she’ll wish she had.

When Punch and Judy hear that Klaus is back from the dead and annihilating all the warring nobility’s armies that cross his path they think ‘Well something else is clearly going on there but that does sound a little like what Klaus would do if he went off the deep end to be perfectly honest.’

They find out he’s conquering an empire and that sounds a lot less like Klaus. Then Barry returns in a complete panic, holding his niece like a lifeline and talking about how Klaus is working for the Other.

It’s a struggle to even contemplate it, the same Other that killed Bill’s infant son and most likely Bill as well, the Other that destroyed the Wulfenbach barony and massacred its people, including Klaus’ own parents, the Other that ravaged Europa sending it into a state of utter chaos. They know Klaus. They’ve known him since he was reckless eighteen year old who just wanted to make the world a better place. They know him.

But…… A few months ago they would have said the thought of subjugating the continent would never cross Klaus’ mind, that he’d never do something like that. He wasn’t that kind of Spark. On their bad days the boys used to talk about what would happen if either of them ever crossed ‘the line’ and though they’d all reassured them that they never would Klaus had promised in complete sincerity that he wouldn’t let them.

No one had ever thought that Klaus might need to have a line. He never even properly lost control of a fugue, he didn’t forget morals in the heat of the moment, every decision he made he’d stand by years later as the right one. He took things further than the boys sometimes but that was because he’d concluded it was for the best and he didn’t need a strict code the way they, still wrestling and redirecting those Heterodyne urges inside them, did.

They also knew Barry and he wouldn’t ever be able to believe something like that if there’d been any other explanation. Barry had known Klaus too.

Basically I’m never going to get over the tragedy that is this group of people because they were friends! They were probably the first real friends any of them had had! They were so young and optimistic and they decided they were going to start fixing things because no one else would. They thought the world could get better and people deserved second chances and for a while it actually worked and it meant something and then it blew up in their faces.

Everything falls apart worse than it was when they started, they lose everyone close to them and they wonder if the world was ever really going to change at all. When the era of the Heterodyne Boys comes to an end they don’t face it together the way they always thought they would if they failed. It ends with all of them are separated and so disillusioned that they’ll believe that even their closest friends would betray them and humanity in the worst way possible.

[emloafs]

so you think the mohawk kid stares at his best friend's lips a lil too long, now what?

HAWKMETRI FIC REC! here's a complete list of my favorite Hawkmetri/Binary Boyfriend fanfics for those who need a crash course into this niche brain rot (which no one asked for). Read below!

silver on your tongue, copper on your lips by HearJessRoar | 2k words | CMON YOU ALREADY KNOW! There’s a reason this one of the highest ranked fics in their ao3 tag. It’s so them. Fighting turned makeout sesh? Spectacular give me fourteen of them right now. Couldn’t tell you how many times I've read this...

The Cobra Effect by slrandomperson | 6.9k words | THIS ONEEE everyone knows this one everyone loves this one. This fic invented the ‘what if Eli DIDN’T break dem’s arm’ trope imo. This fic walked so others could run. Still the best of its kind.

Spoilers for My Valentine by Asphodelia ( @asphodel-storm) | 11.9k words | If you are going to read any fic, READ THIS ONE! Takes place around s3, but Demetri does his best to not only snap Eli out of his red-Hawk evil phase but also woo him by reminding him (and spoiling) of all the nerd shit he likes. It is as good as it sounds. I go back to this one ALL the time.

I don’t care what you call me (as long as you call me) by Anonymous | 4.2k words | I’ll say this for multiple fics, but this is my favorite hawkmetri fic. It’s so fun and fluffy and SO THEM. basically eli is like call me whatever and demetri finds the perfect opportunity to do something very funny and also some wooing.

this is our get along shirt by Anonymous | 3.8k words | Listen maybe I just like fics where Demetri successfully turns Eli back to the light side simply by reminding him of the good in the things he used to hate about himself/his life. In this fic, circa s3, Demetri wears all of the old clothes Eli left at his house to get his attention. Eli gets PISSED. It is everything to me. 

One Of The Finer Things in Life by Ithinkwehaveanemergency | 4k words | Eli basically being like “oh no he’s hot” after seeing Demetri shirtless. Fluffy and also hot and so well written. As always, this author captures them perfectly. It’s funny and it’s cute and I love it.

And I Will Not Fall Hard This Time by Ithinkwehaveanemergency | 12.7k words | Another one from this author!! Essentially, Eli and Dem become friends with benefits in college and don’t think that will end poorly for them at all.  Note: If you don’t like NSFW, this one is not for you, but i personally love a little spice when it’s well done. Everything about this fic makes my heart hurt. Like they’re so gone for each other but they SUCK AT COMMUNICATING. I’ve read this one so many times too. So many kisses for this fic. Like it has a chokehold on me I can’t explain

Always Thinking I Could Love You More by Ithinkwehaveanemergency | 6.5 words | Listen if you know me you know I love a fic that centers around Hawk’s hair. Essentially Hawk dyes his hair and Demetri is STARING. Bestie Yasmine is here to meddle. (can you tell i really like this author?)

lavender haze by youngervolcano | 3.1k words | This one is light and FUNNY. Classic everyone thinks they’re dating but them. Very cute quick read.

andisol by samemoon ( @carmendiazbian) | 25k (incomplete) | Don’t get me started on this one!!! The way my heart HURT reading it!!! Takes canon and changes it a little, but essentially a deeper look at Eli after s3, slowly mending Demetri and Eli’s relationship, and a look at how they got where they are now. I need to reread this one again because it is just one of the most well-written hawkmetri fics I’ve come across. It’s not completed, but I assure you it is still worth the read. 

Who You Are Inside by Asphodelia ( @asphodel-storm) | 4.9k words | I just think this one is neat! ‘His Dark Materials’ AU with daemons - I know absolutely nothing about that world, yet I still really liked this! Follows canon but with animal companions that are actually your soul/their shape reflects your soul. Childhood Eli and Demetri and falling back together with a dash of a soulmate trope. So fun if you love a tad of a fantasy element!!

Second Chances by Asphodelia ( @asphodel-storm) | 31k words | Is this one realistic in the slightest? No! But I loved it! Essentially this is what would happen if Pre S1 Eli swapped bodies with S3 Eli. Has some really strong parts and the premise is so silly but endearing that I love coming back to it. Good characterization too! Again, a nod to anyone who loves a little fantasy (another Asphodelia fic!)

Or you could read one of my fics if you feel so inclined.

Be sure to check ratings and warnings! Only read what you like!

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 8

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.8

“You’ve been down here forever PhD. Maybe you should… I dunno, leave your evil basement sub-lab? Maybe eat something other than an entire tube of toothpaste?”

“This isn’t toothpaste. It’s a calorie-rich blended solution formulated specifically for daily nutrition, in a convenient tube to avoid the need for cutlery.”

“Doc. Read the label.”

“...”

“You should probably sleep too if you mixed those up.”

“You’re just trying to get me to leave so you can escape.”

“I’ve broken out of county jail, the trunk of a sinking car, a shipping crate, cement shoes, and even my loan sharks book club meeting. But this? A forcefield? A real, no-shit forcefield? I don’t have anything for that… anymore.”

“What was that last part?”

“I said I can’t break out of sci-fi prison. Go to bed already, Doc - it’d be a lot easier for me to sleep too if you weren’t hovering over there, looking at me all sad like I’m some stray at the pound about to be put down.”

“Fine, but don’t go anywhere.”

“Well there goes my plans for the night.”

“...What plans?”

“For the fifth time, it’s called sarcasm.”

“Now that I think about it, I think I still have an invention I need to calibrate…”

“Specs was right; how did you survive out here by yourself?”

(...)

“Thanks for helping me clean the place up, Fiddleford. I’ll admit, I’ve been putting it off for a while now.”

“You don’t say… You know, you still haven’t told me what that extra level in your basement is for.”

“I’ve already told you, it’s a private study.”

“You’re so secretive about it.”

“Private study.”

“Alright, alright.”

“After we’re done here, I have an anomaly in the woods I need to check out; would you be willing to keep an eye on the house and the lab while I’m gone?” 

“I have no problem making sure your brother doesn’t disappear into thin air, of course I’ll stay back for your peace of mind.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s what you meant - oh don’t make that face at me. I’m not trying to make fun of you, I think it’s… Endearing, that you care so much even if you have the worst ways of showing it.”

“...Just keep an eye on the house. And maybe go down there every so often to interact with him, the isolation isn’t doing him many favours.”

“How did your last talk with him go?”

“He’s still convinced that I’m grieving over my ‘real’ twin, and using him as a substitute because we look alike. He can acknowledge that the timeline and traits line up, and that he himself has a missing past, but he still thinks he’s a ‘Malone’ and not a ‘Pines’. I don’t know why he’s being so resistant to the possibility…”

"You know... 'Stan Malone' sounds mighty similar to 'Standalone'. 

*Ford facepalms*

“I thought it was clever.”

“It is, that’s why I’m mad.”

(...)

“-and it’s actually called ‘Backupsmor’? That’s its name?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. They didn’t even bother hiding what they were huh?”

“I suppose so. What about you, Stan?”

“Pft, I didn’t go to college. I’m… pretty sure? I didn’t graduate high school.”

“You’re not fully sure?”

“F, I can only remember back when I was 17, and I was already living on the streets. I don’t think I could have graduated by then. Not like it would have helped me.”

“17, you say? Interesting…”

“What about you? Your whole family full of geniuses like you?”

“Everyone’s… smart in their own way. I’m the only member of my family to attend college, however. The rest of my family works on a hog farm.”

“That’s pretty cool, striking it out on your own.”

“Mighty kind of you to-.”

“Good-looking, smart, and independent? I like that in a-.”

“I’m back!”

*Fiddleford hastily presses the mute button on the containment unit*

“Stanford, you’re back! How was it?”

“I was hoping it was something new, but it was just the gnomes trying to utilize the size changing crystals. How were things here?”

"I was just getting more information on what past he does remember- didn’t rightly get much because he is such a flirt."

"He's only doing it to a) make you uncomfortable, b) make you let your guard down, or c) charm you enough to convince you to free him."

"Well he hasn't quite succeeded on any of those. Does he flirt with you?"

"That's disgusting, Fiddleford. I don't know how you do things in Tennessee, but here it is improper for siblings to-."

“Genius, didn't you just say he doesn't believe you're related?"

“Somewhere in there he must still know I'm his brother. Which is a good thing for us because his memories can't be buried too deep."

TAPTAPTAP

*Fiddleford presses the mute button of the cell to unmute it*

“No, that's not it. That motherfucker is ugly.”

“Ugly? We have the same face!”

“Yeah, but on you it doesn't work.”

To be continued...

[sniigura-archive]

I have been wondering, in the Adam College AU, what if the Reader really got pregnant? How would he react?

Keep up the good work!

thank you so much!!!! ok actually i have been thinking about that too so like thoughts under the read more

tw: talks of abortion and pregnancy

in adam’s mind, if the reader really did fall pregnant, there would be only 2 solutions: abortion or having the child.

he wouldn’t like the idea of giving the child up, since i do image adam wanting to have children one day!

i do think that adam would be lowkey unhappy with both options 😭 you can’t make him happy either and it’s your body your choice! so ignore him

since he also knows he’s unhappy no matter what he will literally let it all 100% be your decision. which can be annoying since adam always gives his opinion no matter what and now he doesn’t say anything??? he tries to be supportive in that way but it would be piss me off personally susbdk

(„well what do you think i should do????“

„do whatever the hell you want“)

you choose to not have the child? that’s cool, adam will literally take care of everything for you if you want. he will try to be extra nice to you during that time. he over compensates a lot with his emotional unavailability by buying you lots of stuff. i do feel like he would not initiate anything sexual after that, you have to make the first step. which could also cause issues by you thinking he’s mad at you for getting pregnant because it does take 2 😭 and adam does express affection through physical touch/sex

you want to keep the child? ok cool. you guys have like 9 months to prepare so that’s goodish! adam would be very insistent on marriage where it’s like 🤨 they invented the word slut literally for this man. he also would move you in with him so fast. marriage he would also get you into by talking about putting you on his super fancy healthcare where like. yeah. giving birth is expensive….so now you’re married and pregnant and you’re still in college. i do image in my story that they’re all like seniors/in their last year of college. so you could still be able to get your degree, which is a relief lowkey. adam would stay home more and more with you the further along you are. he reads stuff up about labour and parenting in secret.

i do feel like, no matter the choice, that’s something that could make or break a relationship. it’s all about communication and adam is literally the anti communicator. so there’s that. no matter what you personally choose tho, he tries his best to be supportive, even though it doesn’t always feel like it

[emeraldspiral]

Mopiness of Doom Script Doctor

So I know Mopiness of Doom is a fan favorite unfinished episode, but I think there's always room for improvement. Plus, since we've had access to the script for decades, there's no way they'd ever finish the episode or publish it as a comic as-is because we'd know all the jokes already and there wouldn't be any surprises. So the only way we'd ever get this story in a completed form would be with a massive re-write anyway.

So to begin with, I think having Dib give up on the paranormal because a talisman he bought at the mall didn't work as-intended is kind of a weak motive to give up on his life's ambition so suddenly. I think it would make more sense if he suffered a particularly humiliating defeat at Zim's hands or if there was another instance of Zim very blatantly giving himself away in public and no one noticing or believing him when he points it out. So he's like covered in garbage or slime or something disgusting, he looks like a total fool, people are pointing and laughing, and it's so demoralizing that he finally feels like it's just not worth it anymore.

Instead of Zim instantly becoming depressed, I'd have him laugh maniacally and gloat about how the earth will soon be his now that he's eliminated Dib as an obstacle. But first he has to come up with a new plan, but he can't. And after racking his brains for hours, he still can't come up with anything. But he figures inspiration will come eventually so he might as well take a break and watch some TV. He's got all the time in the world. No rush now that he doesn't have to worry about Dib anymore.

Then we'd have Dib go home and clear out his room. Gaz sees what he's doing and questions him about it, but instead of being disturbed she's actually happy that he's not going to talk her ear off about shit she doesn't care about anymore or force her to watch Mysterious Mysteries when she wants to use the TV to play a console game. But after Dib gets rid of all the paranormal stuff in his room, it's totally sterile and devoid of personality and he doesn't know what he's going to do now to fill that void in his life. So he asks his dad if he can help him in the lab.

Meanwhile, Zim has begun his transformation into a couch potato, but is totally un-self-aware about it. It occurs to him that he hasn't called the Tallest to brief them on his mission progress in a while. He panics after looking at a calendar and seeing just how long it's been. But then he reconsiders calling the Tallest since he still hasn't come up with a new plan, so there's not much to report. He tells himself that he's really got to get a new plan together today so he can call them tomorrow, but he'll do it after he finishes this next episode. A commercial comes on promoting Membrane's latest invention, and he sees Dib at his father's side and instantly dismisses the notion that his lack of motivation has anything to do with Dib as soon as it pops into his head.

Dib and Membrane are having a good time bonding together at the lab when they get a call from Gaz asking why they aren't home yet. They tell Gaz that they were just wrapping things up and about to head home when they suddenly had a breakthrough, so they tell her to just order take-out and have dinner without them. The next morning, the breakfast table is covered in papers and scientific instruments and Dib and Membrane are excitedly chatting about whatever they're working on, barely acknowledging Gaz when she walks into the room. Their science stuff leaves no room for her to even set down a bowl of cereal. They decide to pick everything up and finish breakfast in the home lab, but it's not because of anything Gaz said, they didn't even hear her complain, they were just really eager to get back to working on their project together.

As Dib is about to leave the kitchen, GIR smashes through the window and begs him to hunt Zim again so he can have the couch back. Dib looks back and forth between GIR and Membrane before telling GIR things are going great for him now, why would he ever want to go back to the thankless job of chasing Zim? Membrane is pleased and Dib leaves with him while GIR cries, pounding his fists on the ground. Gaz tells GIR that she doesn't like how much of their dad's time Dib is monopolizing now, so she'll help him get Dib and Zim back together.

Gaz goes to pay Zim a visit and finds him on the couch covered in take-out boxes with his eyes glued to the TV. One of three different scenarios happens here:

Gaz encourages Zim to come up with a new evil plan to make Dib regret brushing him off. Zim temporarily regains some motivation and tries to get something together, but he either loses steam or the plan just fails to tempt Dib, so he goes back to the couch and sinks deeper into depression.

Gaz tries to encourage Zim and he tries to muster up the effort to get off the couch, but he can't. So she props him up with a broom and lets him think he's doing the work when she's really doing everything to put together an evil plan. For a moment, it seems like it's going to work and Zim starts laughing maniacally and gloating and taking credit for Gaz's idea. But even though Gaz's plan is a legitimate threat, Dib just doesn't care about the imminent demise of the human race anymore. Whatever happens happens, it's not his problem. So the plan is aborted and Zim sinks deeper into depression.

Zim is still in denial. Why would he want Dib back to ruin his plans? He's just taking a little break, but any day now he'll totally make that insolent earth boy regret underestimating him. He doesn't need any help from Gaz. Gaz goes back to Dib and tells him "Zim's totally doing something super evil right now, better go stop him" but Dib brushes it off.

Rather than spending the whole episode seeming like he's totally fine and then dropping real science out of nowhere, Dib does have moments throughout the episode that show he misses the paranormal and is mostly just pushing Zim away because he's mad about being humiliated. He's trying not to click on links recommending him pages about new paranormal discoveries he might be interested in. He and his dad are about to watch a boring documentary together on the TV and he looks longingly at the thumbnail of a cool monster movie he was looking forward to but then pretends he's too mature for something like that now. He hides a UFO magazine behind a scientific journal so no one knows he's still reading that stuff. But it gets to be too much for Dib when he and his dad are hanging out and having a seemingly nice time together, but Membrane keeps making insensitive comments about how happy he is that Dib's gotten over his "delusions" and isn't "insane" anymore. Dib realizes that his dad's acceptance of him is conditional and it feels really shitty to only be liked when he suppresses his true self.

So just as he and Membrane were supposed to head to the lab together, Dib says "Actually, I'd rather not. It was nice spending time with you, but this shit's boring and what I really wanna do right now is catch me an alien". And then Membrane curses the heavens and Gaz smiles smugly as Dib runs off.

Dib barges into Zim's house declaring his intent to stop Zim's latest evil plan. Zim instantly perks up and kicks all the garbage under the couch so Dib won't know what a wreck he was without him and pretends like he definitely does have an evil plan in motion right now that Dib will never be able to stop.

Instead of Zim trapping Dib in a bubble, he starts shooting at him with lasers from his PAK while Dib chases him around his living room with handcuffs. You can hear crashing and car alarms and police sirens and animal screeches from all the destruction being wrought by Zim's lasers misfiring and blasting through the walls and devastating the neighborhood outside. But Dib is totally oblivious to how much more danger humanity is in now while he makes his grandiose speech about stopping Zim's reign of terror. The whole time Zim and Dib are laughing and playfully insulting one another while trying to kill each other, GIR is enjoying the newly unoccupied couch, kicking his little feet in delight as he picks up the remote and puts on some Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy. The End.

[connect404]

So I saw this tweet earlier Abt the dynamic between Stanford and fiddleford during the partnership and how similar it was to Stanford and bill's dynamic (incoming essay)

AND I COMPLETELY AGREE

As much as I love fiddauthor (or just ford and fiddleford in general) , fiddleford doesn't deserve the type of treatment he got from Ford.

Throughout the entire partnership,ford treated him poorly and only ever cared about him if it was related to the portal. Fiddleford was willing to work with him even though he knew he was being treated poorly,not to mention he didn't know abt bill or his intentions yet (at the time) and still had his suspicions while working with ford. He remembered to give ford a gift (hand-knitted special gloves for him to wear with several failed attempts beforehand AND a snoglobe of the shack) yet forgot to get a gift for his own wife.

He does all this but the second he tells ford that the portal is dangerous and should be destroyed,ford gets angry at him and says he doesn't need him ???

That's not to say ford isn't completely a POS , he does enjoy fiddleford's company and his partnership with him. Ford even gets closure with fiddleford and actually apologizes to him for all the shit he did to him. Ford gets character development for the most part and actually becomes a somewhat decent person. He's terrible but that's what makes him a great character. He does horrible things but also acknowledges he did said things and actively tries to not do that,even if it's hard to avoid it.

(op said he's objectively an awful person for what he did but also loves him anyway because that type of writing is what makes his character compelling and honestly I relate)

It's a shame that ford favours results over sympathy/empathy. He only ever cares people when they are of use to him and when they say something he doesn't wanna hear,he throws them to the side and searches for another.

Another thing Abt ford is that he tends to be stubborn and an egoist. No matter the situation,he always puts himself before others. This can be a good thing sometimes (like when he gets electrocuted instead of just giving bill the equation) but it's always shown in a negative light. Stan dedicated almost his entire life to bring back his brother after several decades and he never even got a thank you or when instead of hearing Stan out on that invention he broke in highschool, he just let his brother get kicked out (Ik the twins are kinda crappy people but Stan breaking ford's perpetual motion machine was an accident damnit. It's been 30+ years and he still won't let it go 😭😭)

DESPITE SAYING ALLAT....ford isn't completely to blame for his behavior and how he treats other people around him to the point of being manipulative. Sure,his main flaws are what make him act this way (insecurity,need to be better than others,doesn't really think of others,etc.) but I think the only reason they've become worse is because of bill and how he manipulated ford,basically feeding into his ego and validating his beliefs. That, combined with his occasional selfish urges makes him want more.

More knowledge.

More praise.

More fame.

And this need for more makes him impatient. So much so that he starts using the same manipulation tactics (whether intentionally or unintentionally I'm not sure) bill used on him on fiddleford to try and get the same results,since said tactics work on him,so it would makes sense for him to do the same.

TL;DR yes,ford is a bad person but he's a bad person with layers and that's why I love him sm. Also fiddleford deserved better treatment

Anyway this'll probably get like 5 likes but uhhhh I'd love to hear any take on this really.

Agree,disagree I'd love it hear it

[pensbridge]

This fandom doesn't understand subtext! Actually this fandom doesn't even understand text...that's right in front of their faces.

"Penelope asked for an annulment, because she made a power move to choose better for herself." No, she did not! I'd respect it, but that's not what happened! Y'all have invented a version of Penelope where she does no wrong and has to "prove" to people where they did her dirty. Do you know how many people still can't admit what she did wrong in Marina and El's situation? It's a lot. Hate to break it to you, but Penelope was wrong. There's layers there; and there's reasonings behind her actions that have a snowball effect when she didn't really mean ill-harm. But it still happened. Every person in these situation has there faults and did poor things, that yes, Marina did on purpose. And I support Penelope for what she did. But again, the outcome was still (and could've been) bad. Penelope is so divisive sometimes that leads to people having to hit the haters with an analysis that Penelope is morally gray (I respect morally gray characters), but Penelope is not even morally gray. She does things that come out bad sometimes as a result of her decisions, but she's good and she has good intentions *is complex* - you know like a well-written character. Penelope, herself admits that she was wrong this season and y'all didn't hear, apparently.

For Colin, you've decidedly settled on this version of him where 1 thing that he says and does will forever be twisted into something that does not exist that I can only assume is from a pre-conceived world-skew of already having it out for him, because this can truly not be about The Character. The entrapment comment - I've already given my thoughts on this, but regardless if that hurt you so bad or not, you cannot deny the reason right in front of your faces that the writers place directly in front of The Scene. Colin is talking to El on the stairs and she asks, "do you think that you'll be able to forgive her?" He says it in intricate descriptive Bridgerton language fashion, but he says "maybe you should consider yourself uncommonly lucky, El, that you have never known what love is." He loves her, he's always gonna love her and she hurt him with the one thing we know from part 1 that he places so much value on he gets lost in tangents with the men in the club: INTIMACY. They were intimate...It wasn't just sex. She withheld the truth for far longer than she should and she denied him that choice to move on ( he wouldnt ) and allow him to not be "stuck" in a marriage that she insists on giving him an out to (if that's what she cares about), because she did not mean to entrap him. But sure, she asked for an annulment, because she actually doesn't care and only cares about herself. That's your character.

[nyc3]

@bibibbon I was reading your post and thinking when you mentioned Mummy, and certainly is sad and disappointing that out of Nine's crew he was the one to get the short stick in terms of screentime and interactions with his own leader.

Such a cool looking villain with an awesome power shouldn't be treated like fooder.

But eh... I guess they really need give Bakugo an easy victory to show how badass he can be compared to the other loosers from the class.

Anyway, before getting absorbed by my hater side I can share my ideas about rewrite Mummy, because like his friends is fun write about him and fill the empty space left by the author.

Starting for his backstory:

This idea isn't entirely mine, but I love the concept of Mummy and Edgeshot being related.

Interesting to think because they share same birthdays, both their quirks have the aesthetic of red tape, they have grey hair and the names "Kamihara" and "Makihara" sound strangely similar.

I've seen people write them as twins, but I like more the idea of them having a big age gap in case of being brothers which fits more with Shinya being in his 30s in canon.

And so both Hoyo and Shinya being brothers born in a very traditional japanese family would make room for some family drama, as is more than probably that Shinya being the first born and with a quirk like foldabody would probably be seen as the pride of the family.

While Hoyo is seen as lesser and never able to live up to the level of his older brother, especially after Shinya got accepted at UA and started pay less attention to Hoyo.

While during his early childhood Hoyo only support was Shinya when he left the family state to focus on his studies Hoyo was alone with a family that never supported him and constantly remembered him how inferior he was.

Hoyo will reach a break point when his parents tried to get rid of him when he was entering on his teenage years, and he discovered they sold him to a mysterious organization that was looking for young low tier soldiers (which for some reason still happens in MHA world and nobody seem to care about it).

Note: This organizagion will be no other than the MLA but isn't really important for the story for now.

And so, without anything to lose since Shinya was long gone at that point, Hoyo escaped the family state and never came back. He also invented the false surname Makihara, as he didn't want anything to do with his family.

That would be the beginning of some rough years living in the streets for Hoyo.

Without proper studies (since he only got the basics at home instead of going to an actual school) and technically being a fugitive of his own family, Hoyo only could resort of stealing and other minor crimes for try to survive being homeless.

I imagine he also tried to gain some money doing dirty jobs for other criminals, which might be why we see him beating thugs in the street during the flashbacks.

That being said, this empty life style wasn't something Hoyo was happy about.

He still feel the necessity of prove himself and try to became something better, he was angry at the world and his family, and he also missed Shinya despite he didn't want to admit and prove his brother his worth.

Despite Hoyo's quirk still seemed to be quite useless as he couldn't do much with his puppets and give up at some point.

That was until he meet Nine...

My idea of how they meet is that Hoyo was hired to expulse Nine from the territory of a criminal gang that didn't like a homeless man like him was wandering in there.

Expecting just another quick job for a bit of cash Hoyo used his quirk with and old scarf to create a puppet out a vending machine, with he would use to intimidate the white haired man described by the gang.

Worse case scenario would be him having to beat the man in case he resists but isn't like he cared.

What Hoyo didn't expect is that when he meet the white haired man this one would have an aura of calm around him and rather than look intimidated by him or his puppet, he only got a glaze of interest coming from him.

"That... looks like a very powerful ability you got there" Nine commented very calmly looking at Hoyo like if he already knew everything from him.

Hoyo was a bit confused by the statement (and internally a bit intimidated by the way the white haired man seem look through him) but he only wanted to finish the job quickly as he was hungry and needed the money the gang offered.

So he tried to attack the white haired man with his puppet, but in the blink on an eye a small lightning bolt hit the puppet and make it explode.

Hoyo was pushed back by the explosion and the white haired man was still there with an unfazed expression.

"Not that powerful yet but..." Nine said looking at Hoyo "I can make it stronger" He said like it was a promise.

Nine then walk away and Hoyo tried to follow him without understand anything of what was happen, until they were almost in front of the gang hideout.

Hoyo observed how the white haired man rising one of his hands at the sky, and he didn't realize how suddlenly the dark clouds covered what until some moments was a very clear night.

A lightning bolt came from the sky and impacted the buildings Hoyo knew the gang used to hide, making the ground vibrate as they explode illuminating the night with the fire and the white haired man was stading there with the same bored expression as he that act of destruction was nothing for him.

Hoyo was totally speechless by that demonstration of power.

"I assume they won't represent a problem for you from now, I understand they wanted you to get me out of here so you don't have to worry for not get the job done" the white haired man said with the same calm Hoyo was used at that point.

For some reason it reminded him to someone else...

"Huh... and what do you want from me?" Hoyo replied rising his eyebrown tried to show more confidence that he actually felt "This kind of "favors" can't be for free"

"From you? Nothing..." Nine said plain and simple "Maybe offer you something, but first we should get out of here, he police and heroes can be annoying and they probably were alerted by my little spectacle" He said before walking out of the scene.

Hoyo didn't know why but he started walking behind the white haired man. There wasn't much to lose anyway...

"Are you hungry? Personally I am, so maybe we can get some food" Nine said after notice the young boy was following him.

Hoyo agreed on that, he really could get something to eat.

...

After all that happened Nine started to explain to Hoyo what his ideals and dream to change the world, a dream he really wanted to share with Hoyo for some reason.

Even if he didn't believe he meet the standards of power the white haired man claim to have, but Nine keep insisting on the potential of his quirk and how Hoyo was stronger than he realize and how wrong society was for overlook his true potential.

Not much time later Hoyo meet a friend of Nine, a really intimidating mutant who called himself Chimera and that name was fitting considering he was a mix of countless animals.

Hoyo found the guy to be quite charismatic and funny regardless of his loon however, and he was also very compromised to follow Nine's vision for the ideal world he evisioned.

And one day Nine also surprised Hoyo with a gift: a lot of red bandages that he notice were more resistant and powerful than anything he previously used to activate his quirk.

"Your power is greater than you think Hoyo, don't believe what the weakelings tried to make you think all your life. You can be better than them, you can fight for the world we deserve" Nine said in the most genuine way Hoyo ever heaf from someone.

And Hoyo really felt weak but also strong for equal reasons that moment, as never during his whole life he felt supported the way Nine made him to feel. Not his own blood family, not even Shinya, but this man who only wanted to give him and Chimera a better world to live.

Hoyo knew that moment that his life and heart belong to Nine and his cause forever, he give him a real family and home without even expect anything from Hoyo other than fight together like a team.

It motivated Hoyo to push himself and his quirk over the boundaries, training endlessly with the help of Nine and Chimera, so what once was the ability of control a single puppet quickly became the power of create armies of puppet soldiers thanks to the gift Nine give to him.

He even discovered an inhate talent with the sword, a gift courtesy of Chimera by the way.

Hoyo was poweful indeed, just like his friends believed.

But he also wanted a new identity as well, as his born name no longer felt something that represented who he was.

Then Hoyo became Mummy, and he used the bandages gifted by his leader to cover his body.

He felt safe and powerful like that.

Mummy finally meet himself that moment and knew who he really was.

...

P.S:

-Despite I make Shinya look like a careless and selfish brother in the backstory, I actually think later when he found what his parents did to Hoyo he resents them and felt totally guilty for not being there for his little brother. Edgeshot look for Hoyo during years hoping to find him someday and be a family again, he also keep his parents out of his life after what they did to Hoyo.

-I don't mention Slice here because I think she was the last one to join the team some time later than Mummy.

-While their age difference isn't actually that big, I like the idea of Mummy considering Nine a big brother figure and somehow filling the empty space left by Shinya.

[nekropsii]

Small Atomic Ask Bomb!!

I've got a bunch of short asks that I'd hate to spam the dash with individually, so I'll just put 'em here, under the cut!!

Content Warning: Long, Brief Discussions of Racism, Misogyny, Grooming, Brief Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia in Fanfiction.

I've always been a hater, and I honestly don't really think it's a bad thing - not as much as everyone says, at least! I think being kind of a bitch about things that don't matter is good for you, actually. Gets the urge to be angry out in a way that's healthier than just snapping at people in critical moments. I also just think being strong and passionate in your convictions is good for you. Being a hater gives you a spine if you do it right, and it fires a gunshot and scatters people you don't really want to be around. It also has the funny side effect of people thinking I take things way more seriously than I do, just because I'm opinionated and will state said opinions clearly. Big fan of this meme:

This is me.

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I used to peek in there every now and then, just to be nosy. Incest at the top, always. Or straight up pedo shit. Sigh. Looked in the Mituna tag a couple times. CroTuna fucking nightmare hell dimension, always. Or KanTuna, which I also have gripes with. Or KanMiTula, which I have even more gripes with.

It is my understanding that the state of Homestuck fanfiction hasn't gotten much better since the 2010s. Everyone is wrong and no one is normal. Sad.

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I don't know if the mere act of only making Jade and Jake brown out of all the Kids is Racist on its own, per se, but it is kinda silly in the sense that, you know, John and Jade are siblings, so realistically they'd look similar. And... People absolutely do get racist about it. Like, making Jade and Jake uniquely huge, hairy, threatening, and oddly shaped - gangly in the context of Jade, buff as hell in the context of Jake. I've seen some SEVERELY racist drawings where Jade and/or Jake were the only hints of melanin in the Kid line up and... Oh my god. It can get to straight up caricature levels. Watermelons and everything. Just comedically racist.

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Genuinely one of the dumbest fucking things in the world. People will say literally anything. Saying Damara isn't Japanese is on par with calling Porrim a fucking Men's Rights Activist. It's a funny little claim people who are grievously wrong say as a condemnation of the Alpha Trolls for no reason. Why. To look smart? To fit in? Dumbass. Notice how they always have to invent bullshit lies to critique anything instead of just saying things that are true. It really frustrates me how 99.9% of Alpha Troll criticism just isn't at all legitimate when there's some real, genuine issues you could critique. It's stupid horseshit. I hate it so badly.

I don't actually care whether or not someone likes the Alpha Trolls, but at least hate them accurately. Come on.

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@sleepy-apparition

Everyone is so, so quick to turn a blind eye to just how violently misogynistic Kankri is, lmfao. Genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen anyone other than myself bring up the fact that he's an avid Slut-Shamer in the modern day. Other than that, I only really saw older Mituna fanatics bring it up over in the early-mid 2010s, but none of them are around these days.

Genuinely, some of the shit he says is so appalling, lol. Kankri FULLY deserves to get his ass beat.

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I have said this before but I'll say it again - I do not think a Red Romantic Relationship will fix Dirk, or even really help him all that much. Before he gets into a RedRom, he needs some therapy, a break, and mood stabilizers.

However, I'm thoroughly of the opinion that a good BlackRom could work wonders on him, way more than a RedRom would. I think a solid, established Pitch Relationship with, like, Caliborn would be genuinely great for him, both mentally and in a Character Development sense. I hold zero interest in watching Dirk and Jake badly fumble a traditional romantic relationship - that notion is painful to me. ... But I do think I could read a full Intermission's worth of Dirk and Caliborn fucking around and not get tired of it once. They have a fantastic dynamic. It'd be good for Caliborn, too, I think.

This has been my Dirkuu propaganda bit. Thank you.

Also, the Voyeuristic feel of how people handle his Mental Illness. It makes me uncomfortable.

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True. I don't have any other remarks to make about this, you're just correct. True.

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... Fuckin'... Why, though? What- what's the appeal? There's nothing there. I literally cannot conceive any way in which that would be compelling, and I'd say Hal and Kankri are pretty high up there in the list of Male Homestuck Characters I Enjoy.

People will do anything but pay attention to Female Characters for five minutes. God. Lol.

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It's literally just DaveKat 2. I don't think it even qualifies as a Crack Ship when it's just a variant of The Fandom's Most Darling M/M OTP. It's just a deeply mid RarePair. Crack Ship would be, like, Dirk Strider x Rainbow Dash.

Dirk x RD was a popular Crack Ship, sure, but it's still a Crack Ship on basis of being a Crossover Pairing.

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I can't recall any specific instances of seeing this myself, but I'll believe it. People will do anything except be normal about Vriska. People will fight the war against Vriska on the side of and against Vriska at the same time. People will call her a Huge 8itch but then call her pathetic when she stops being a Huge 8itch.

We love Misogyny, I guess.

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Well, he is based on Tumblr, after all. Particularly how dogshit the politics are on here. Of course he would. He'd do numbers on here, considering his Woke Hate Speech.

It's called Bubblr, by the way. Like, canonically. We do know what it's called.

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It's actually based on the Three Wise Monkeys. You know, that old Japanese Proverb that goes "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"? That.

Kurloz is Speak No Evil, Meulin is Hear No Evil, Mituna is See No Evil.

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Great Question. My personal guess is that he's a little too nuanced for a lot of people to be comfortable with handling. He throws out too much surface-level Bigotry that people aren't willing to ignore because it isn't Racism for many to feel comfortable making him their Blorbo. When Dave says the N-Word and talks about how fucking Racist he is and it literally never gets acknowledged or resolved, that's fine and dandy, but god forbid Caliborn be a Misogynist in the funniest way possible AND have that get acknowledged literally constantly as a problem. The fact that Caliborn isn't a Fuckable White 13-Year-Old Twink means none of his crimes are ever forgivable because he's ugly and unshippable, or whatever.

The fact that he's Mentally Disabled doesn't help. People can't fucking STAND IT when a character is Mentally Disabled in a way that isn't Cute and Consumable, much less a character who is Unconsumably Mentally Disabled AND Complicated. It's just not allowed!!