#actually I think I'd rather do one of the latter two cause I probably wouldn't do much on it lol

[myrandomscribbles]

2024 Recap

Two days into 2025 and I just realized that I've forgotten to wrap up my year. Though uneventful, there have been a few notable moments and some glimmers here and there that helped me get through it. So without further ado, here's another [long-ish] personal post, my own "2024 Wrapped"!

First of all, let me start by saying Happy New Year and I hope that everyone had a lovely & safe celebration! (Fingers still complete, I hope) Now this would be the first time I'm doing a recap of my year as a blog post, but one of the things I wanted to revive is my passion in writing. I have been spending a lot of time in the drawing & video editing department - don't get me wrong, I love it in there - but I kinda miss my first love, writing. With that in mind, I (re)started this blog not just to fill it with thoughts & rambles, but also to oil up my rusty writing gears. At this point, I want to thank those who have somehow found their way here and either liked, reblogged, or simply read my posts ❤️

This year has, unfortunately, been one of the worse ones. I spent most of it just at home, watching the days pass by and waiting for something I wasn't sure was going to happen. And sadly, I lost more than I gained. In 2024, I lost many of my beloved pets. The pain I had to go through each time is immeasurable because to me, they are my children. To pay tribute to them, I'm currently working on a painting of all of them at the rainbow bridge. It's still a long way to go, and I hope to share it here soon. I also lost a loved one, my career (or professional life, rather; I wouldn't consider virtual jobs as a career per se), and towards the latter part of the year, my health - slowly. The severe stress that I have undergone in the months of 2024 has caused me show symptoms of a likely aneurysm. As I am not yet financially capable of undergoing an MRI of my brain, I have to take extra care of my health and hit the breaks whenever I am about to burst into the Hulk.

Despite all of that, I still have a few things to be thankful for. I'd like to highlight two of them though - probably the happiest I've been the entire year. First is my trip to Vietnam in September, where I also celebrated my 30th birthday. It was a first time experience for me because not only was it my first time in the country, but it was also the first time that I got to travel with a group of friends so that was really fun.

Another highlight of my year is an actual dream come true - my all time favorite boyband, Big Time Rush actually came to Manila. I grew up with their music and it has saved me many times. It felt so surreal to see Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James get up on that stage because never in my wildest dreams that they would think of coming to visit my country since their fandom was not as big as One Direction over here. Boy was I wrong - and a good thing that I was! One of the most memorable nights of my life for sure.

So that's it for my personal side of 2024; there wasn't really much to tell there, like I said. But in spite of all that, I'm still thankful that I got to reach a new decade of my life, and well, my family and I have made it to a new year. ✨

But hey, what's a post on this blog without going through my favorite bits of pop culture? :D For the next part of this recap, I'm gonna list my top five favorites from various categories this past 2024! And hey, quit with the judging because our likes and preferences are always subjective :D

Favorite Movies

Dune: Part Two

At this point, I don't understand how this is not getting more recognition this awards season. Just because it came out earlier this year should not be the case! And I don't know if I'm with the majority on this one, but this was loads better than Part One.

Wicked

I have an entire blog post review dedicated to this film, so you can just go check that out. :D

Challengers

This film was as steamy as the bloody sauna Art and Patrick were in. Not sure if anyone has made that a one-liner review in Letterboxd yet, but here it is for you lol. My favorite thing about this film though is that they literally executed the film and the three characters' relationship in the form of a tennis match. Whenever Art wins a set, he has Tashi. And likewise when Patrick wins a set, he also has Tashi. That last scene was also insane it deserves Best Editing.

Greatest Hits

This was one of the films that went under the radar this year. I remember someone on Twitter calling it a romcom, MY BROTHER IN CHRIST IT IS NOT. Lucy Boynton is so good in this and David Corenswet, well, there's a reason he's Superman. Such a touching film about grief and acceptance, please go and watch it.

Twisters

The amount of times I will show up to the cinema for a Glen Powell? The limit does not exist. That man is a MOVIE STAR! Including this one, his last three films were all hits in my house. Like I literally went to a last screening on a rainy Sunday evening just to see a movie about tornados LOL

Favorite Performances

Zendaya in Challengers

Definition of girlboss. Who's doing it like Tashi?!

Ryan Gosling in Fall Guy

Ryan Gosling has become one of my favorite actors in recent years. He's just so naturally funny, especially in this one, and he needs to be in every film I'm so serious.

Ariana Grande in Wicked

Ariana went to the Kristin Chenoweth School of Pink Popular Squealing, she told me herself.

Rebecca Ferguson in Dune: Part Two

Not gonna lie, if you look up the word "mother" in the dictionary, one of its definitions is just a photo of Rebecca Ferguson in Dune: Part Two. Lady Jessica, what can I do for you on this fine evening?

Maya Hawke in Inside Out 2

When they first introduced Anxiety in the trailer, I did cartwheels. I can't believe that 1) they actually included the one thing that keeps me up at night and 2) they got the perfect voice in Maya Hawke to bring her to life.

Favorite Songs Released

Fortnight - Taylor Swift ft. Post Malone

Not gonna lie, TTPD is one of her lowest points in her discography (and yes, fight me on this! It can't always be good!) However, there are gems on this album. And the first time I heard Fortnight I was left in awe because who knew Post Malone sounds so good harmonizing on that outro that I can't get out of my head?!

Only One - Big Time Rush

They released a lot of new songs this year considering they went on tour but this has got to be my favorite! I had this on repeat before the concert and after the concert that it stayed atop my On Repeat playlist on Spotify. I'm actually surprised it wasn't my most played song when Spotify Wrapped came out lol.

Guilty As Sin? - Taylor Swift

This is another one of those hidden gems I was talking about, second out of three. One of the reasons why I love this song is because it instantly reminded me of Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney from Jane Austen's "Northanger Abbey". Yeah, you're welcome :D

The Black Dog - Taylor Swift

This is the third of my favorite songs from TTPD. The lyrics of this song is just so painfully beautiful, the thought of being forgotten by someone who used to love and know you so well. Goddamit, Taylor. Also that bridge kills me everytime, UGH

Steal My Thunder - Conner Smith ft. Tucker Wetmore

Let me just put it out there that I obviously loved Twisters so I'm obviously a fan of the soundtrack too. Country is not really one of my top genres, but this film's soundtrack made it so likeable! I particularly love this track because of the scene where it was played in :D

Okay, I obviously need to still see A LOT of the films released in 2024, so this list is curated as of this recap and it will likely change later on. As I mentioned before, there was a huge bulk of the year where I was just severely stressed and had no such time to catch up on new releases. But I will! I will likely have another post in the future for every film that I loved and feel deserves one :D

As for the music, well, I said subjective!!! I'm not a huge music fan in terms of the artist - there are only a few artists like Taylor & Big Time Rush whose entire discography is in my Spotify. But in general, if I like how the song sounds, it goes into my liked songs playlist. End of story.

Anyway! That's it for my 2024 recap. What a year it has been. I'm actually going to try to go into 2025 with a new mindset of really just going with the flow. I'm going to try to not plan anything so much in the fear that it might fail and I'll just end up disappointed. Whatever happens, happens I guess!

[generationlosscorkboard]

So! Matpat has finally rejoined us!

Welcome back to the theorist crew, Matty. We've been busy in your absence.

Now the council will decide whether your theories are truly what we've been waiting for. ('The council' being, well, uh, just me, I guess.)

(At the time of writing this, Ranboo has not reacted to this video. If at any point he does, I will follow up on this post.)

If you have not already seen it, here's the link to his video:

Anyways.

(long post you know the drill)

The first section the video is Matt just recapping his past theory, about the two factions which he has now labelled as being Showfall and Generation Loss. These two factions have been fighting over who gets to say what in the media we're shown, with the Gen Loss crew overwriting Showfall's content with cutaways, red writing (origin of my Red Writing tag), and other such edits.

Note: I can understand Matpat's reasoning for calling that group Showfall. I wouldn't, I'd probably associate these guys with who I've been calling GIC's, but for the sake of clarity and consistency, I will be using Matpat's naming conventions. If I need to make a distinction between Matpat's names and Showfall the company or Generation Loss the show, the latter two will be highlighted in red and/or otherwise clarified.

Matpat states that he's done exactly what we've been tasked to do, and found The Founder. I will admit that I was very interested and dubious in this, given we have barely touched on that here. The most we have is that the Video taper showcased at the end could potentially be our guy, but that hasn't been set in stone as The Theory.

Matpat goes back to discussing the videos, specifically going back to T_2: The Inauguration, which he clarifies is about inaugurating us, the viewer, into the Generation Loss group.

Here's a link to a previous post about this particular video by @ozzybutweirdthistime

OP of that post had interpreted it as a way for picking out the cast members for Showfall, whereas Matt has taken it as being a sort of recruitment for Generation Loss. I find this difference of opinion so entertaining, because in that case, both parties what you willing to kill another human being for the cause. Sounds about right! As for which one I think is true, well.... I kinda side more with Mat Pat on this one. The video, for one, is a Gen Zero video and Showfall (the company, not the GIC's) isn't part of this generation according to Ranboo (last I checked).

Still, it could apply to either group, and I really like that ambiguity.

The next thing Matpat discusses is The Social Experiments, giving a quick recap on what it was, that Hetch was supposedly helping him only to turn out to be Showfall, that we killed Ranboo live, (live). Only he thinks Ranboo didn't die, and that Ranboo is actually The Founder.

His reasoning and evidence for this is the following:

Ranboo, whilst trusting Hetch, didn't take Hetch's advice to do as the audience says, rather picking the wrong code so the alarm would be activated and the show could continue how Showfall planned it.

Ranboo purposely doesn't take the first exit sign post button push, rather he heads for Hetch door.

We were asked to kill the Founder, and who did we vote to kill in the end? RANBOO!

Ranboo purposely picked the wrong exit in the Closet, leading to Ethan's death.

Ranboo knows that Sneeg has been there for Six years, and accidentally slips this when they free him.

The Puzzler is scared of Ranboo and was scared that he killed Ranboo too early, which wasn't what was meant to happen, and he apologized for that. Also, the line "Well that's for you to know and me to find out".

Ranboo wants the audience to kill him, in a mix of " hey look at me I'm so christ-like!" and dying for your sins/getting us to do what we need to do to survive.

The Cutaways require Ranboo to be alive post-production in order for them to happen.

Ranboo is reorganising the footage for release as the founder's cut, making it sadder (MANIPULATION), and to change and add certain details to make it better (REWRITING THE TRUTH/CANON). also Ranboo may quietly delete the original VODs so they no longer can speak their truth (GASLIGHTING)

Now. Here's why I disagree with Matpat on this.

The reason Ranboo didn't take Hetch's advice was not because they wanted the show to go on and knew that "theorists" would hinder that by choosing the correct option. Rather, he didn't want to take advice from a faceless audience who have been the one's controlling his life for a long as he remembers. He isn't even aware that the audience is actively trying to save him the best they can, he just thinks they want him for entertainment. Hence, he makes the decision for himself with a 75% chance of failure and ends up setting off the alarm.

As for why Ranboo ignored the first exit sign, my own mask theory gives the reason for this: Ranboo was almost always being controlled or at the very least, having their perception altered so that the story would go as it was supposed to.

We've killed and/or seen the deaths of seven people over the course of this series (some even twice, or three times over!), and sure, Ranboo's death was a very big focal point, I don't think that meant they were the FOUNDER. if he was, I'm pretty sure that would of meant Gen Loss was over, done, we did the thing we were supposed to do and now can go on with our lives. But no, the show goes on. Ranboo was just the focal point of this particular story. (it's been mentioned by Hetch that this cast selection normally happens off-camera, but because of the novelty of this version, their gets to be live)

Ranboo picking the wrong door. Simple, he was being mind controlled then, which we know because of the lights and also the NPC voice going on then. I find it really interesting that Matt hasn't once mentioned the mind control aspects of the show, in any form it came up as. During those moments, yes they were continuing the story in a story way, but not because they were the one in control.

The Sneeg thing- I'm like 90% sure this was just Ranboo improv-ing, plus he said it in a questioning tone and followed it up with "I don't- I don't know..?" Idk, it sounds just a little to me that he doesn't know.

Now for the Puzzler. Dude's just incompetent at being a Saw guy, man. He did actually kill Ranboo in that moment, according to Ranboo (source: Going through my favourite bits!), so the "nearly killed his boss" is a bit of a iffy thing (even if the filter doesn't let him realise that he did actually kill Ranboo). he's just genuinely sorry about it as is. (again, he's just a goofy guy, who is heavily filtered like everyone else). Although I will admit that the "that's for you to know" line is definitely something. Personally, I'd like to think it was Showfall speaking through the Puzzler to the audience, without the puzzler realising the deeper meanings.

The reasoning for Ranboo dying. Matpat calls it as Ranboo making himself out to be Jesus like (and while, yeah CC Ranboo is basically doing that cause hell yeah), I think of it as Showfall showing off how in control they are, mimicking religious imagery (almost mockingly) and their apparent control over life and death. How God-like they are. So, we have similar ideas around this particular one, only we just differ on the one sending the message.

Matpat then compare's The Social Experiments to those of Stanley Milgram (who, coincidentally, A friend told me about the day this video was uploaded). And I agree! There are definitely a lot of similarities. The subjects are forced into a situation by an authority figure (the experimenter) of deciding the fate of another subject, to the point of inflicting pain that could cause death (only for the pain to be fake, and the whole situation fabricated).

Matpat and I agree, that Ranboo's death was faked. Well, sorta. But for veryyyy different reasons. Matt says it's because he's the Founder and needs to stay alive, while I say it's because Showfall like to reuse everything, so why waste a perfectly good body? (Clarification: Ranboo the person is dead. But their body is reused, either like Frank or as one of the Employees.)

With the cutaways? I think they were filmed before. Ranboo is completely under their control, so it's easy enough to make pre-prepared cutaways and then make their actors do certain things that make the cutaway make sense/relate to the show. especially with how meticulously planned this particular show is. Especially since this show is completely Live apart from the obviously cinematic stuff, but again, pre-recorded (either in-universe or because of IRL health and safety laws requiring that actors don't actually get smashed by anvils).

His whole founder's Cut idea is certainly something. However, the main reason for the founder's cut is to remove a lot of the livestream-y stuff, add in some of the things that got missed out the first time around because it just got skipped over in the live performance, and just tweaking a few things here and there so that we get the experience of Gen Loss we were always supposed to get. (yeah yeah it's rewriting the current Canon but not in THAT WAY). I actually have a couple of friends waiting on the founder's cut release purely because I suggested they do due to just how long and sometimes a little stuck in places the og is (as much as the first episode was great, they were in the kitchen for a LONG time, hell even the YouTube VOD skips out the Create a Creature bit). Also i would like to see Ranboo even TRY gaslighting us. Have you SEEN the amount of edits, scene packs, small detail discussions (my own Masterpost of small details for one.)

Final Notes

Now I don't know why Matpat didn't mention the whole mind control aspect, or why he wasn't apparently aware of certain details that Ranboo himself has confirmed, but honestly, even I'm not caught up on everything going on. I've got a private playlist on YouTube called "gen loss to watch" and wow I have not watched half of those. I also have the benefit of being focused on Gen loss, and not managing four channels each with a wide range of things to cover. That and the fact I'm constantly in the loop with all of you, and seeing what you all think.

AHFG anyways. No theory is a bad theory, and it was really nice to hear Matpat's thoughts on this, no matter how differing. Don't spread hate to him, and don't interpret this post as me hating on him. We're all just trying to solve this thing, and by god are we going to do it.

But hey. It's just a theory. A GAM- wait.

[katoska]

Yeah that's what I meant by "the eventual understanding that he'll leave if she asks". I wanna see more fake banishments, and I want him to honor them despite not having to, after he pulls whatever attention-grabbing stuff he thinks is impressive/romantic. That church scene altered my brain chemistry and I need to see more wooing, dammit. She spent 30mins with him in both movies altogether so far, tops. I want at least a few "newspaper" (the kind that reports on bigfoot) headlines about an uptick of hauntings in Connecticut and which expert medium to call if you have snakes and vermin manifesting in your house or see the local stripey cryptid whom no one can quite agree on what he looks like, as a shortcut to tell the audience that our mains are building a relationship, even if it's half-adversarial and a little bit under false pretenses, as we'll later find out. And ofc I'd also like to see at least one such encounter between the two, and that she's having fun "defeating" him. Whatever the bigger plot may be, if we wanna get to a both-sided romantic wedding, or at least a both-sided romance, they need to spend more time together. Also, as you said, she needs to realise that he can make himself be seen by several living people, but he only cares about being seen by her.

I'm pretty sure writers can't acknowledge reading fanworks at all so they can't be accused of plagiarism. Which imo is dumb. I sure af wouldn't complain, and I wouldn't throw theories out if I didn't see hints in canon in the first place. We got mention of Trade, we got Loopholes to cut a Deceased's time short, and we got consummate Dealmaker Betelguise doing something nice for apparently free. For Lydia's ex, at that. The dots are all there and they aren't mine, I'm just connecting them and extrapolating a very little.

Yeah, movie 1 had a(n almost) wedding. Movie 2 had 3 weddings (well, 1 wedding and two almost weddings). Betelgeuse x Delores, Rory x Lydia, and Betelgeuse x Lydia. If they wanna make a pattern, next movie might actually have be set in Vegas lol.

Personally, I'd be happy enough if Betelgeuse joined the family as their mostly-helpful ghost whom Lydia is sort-of dating but she doesn't wanna put a label on it (abandonment issues + got burned too often). Though they are obviously still very committed, albeit him more obviously so than her, and obviously endgame.

Wrt the curse. The name thing still seems to somewhat apply. He could hear Delia call him and came on the second mention of his name, voluntarily. Idk if that's part of the same curse that keeps him out of the living world unless called and which marriage could fix (cause divorce apparently didn't), or just a generic ghost thing though. I obviously want to believe it's the latter. Maybe they all can feel when someone's calling out to them, or maybe Betel himself just happens to be very psychically gifted. No one said you have to be anywhere near the model fo Betel to hear you call him, after all (Lydia should have tried it in Jeremy's room rather than go all the way back home). He managed to keep a connection to Astrid after she said his name twice, too. At least, I think that's how he knew about Dostoyevsky. Seems more perk than curse, tbh.

And now I'm imagining Lydia "banishing" Betelgeuse so often in front of witnesses that his name becomes too well-known in the living world, like Bloody Mary. He'd hate that because it'd be annoying, and his annoyance would be both entirely his own fault and ironic considering his desperation to be called on in movie 1, and it could be what forces him to out himself as free bc it's either that or having to do at least two shows per night ("I won't do it. I won't"). Would fit in with the probable title of movie 3, too, right? And it would be good if he were forced to ask Lydia for help for once. Like giving him her last name helping him to very publicly demonstrate that he might come when called, but won't leave upon hearing the magic words anymore, not even if they come out of involuntarily-famous-medium Lydia Deetz's mouth, so people better think twice. Cause he'll only leave once he's done with you or if Lydia (or Astrid) asks him too. And those two have better things to do than rescue idiots who are trying to summon poltergeists for funsies. Which means that anytime Lydia does show up afterwards to watch deal with B's antics, it'll be of her own free will, maybe to consume a nice candlelit dinner cooked in some possessed idiot's (very nice, cause I'm sure Betelgeuse would only pick the best locations for a date haunting) kitchen. Which means if he starts possessing some Elvis impersonators in Vegas, she could take that as the invitation/proposal that it would be intended as, rather than a hostage situation. Cause she can't actually force him to get out of the Elvis guy, or to get an actual priest instead of the Elvis guy (Elvis can stay as witness though). But she knows he will, if she asks.

Betelgeuse and marriage theory

A Beetlejuice head-canon/theory I have (warning, it's somewhat "Beauty & The Beast" coded 🌹🥀).

Having died poisoned on his wedding night, Betelgeuse's soul is bound by the ritual of marriage.

We already know he will be able to reenter the mortal world if he marries a living person (due to the rules of the afterlife and whatnot), but here's where my head-canon starts:

Bound to the ritual of marriage, if he marries someone he loves, who truly love him back, dead or alive, his soul will be freed and he will be able to pass on to the great beyond next to his beloved (once his beloved passes away as well, assuming she happens to be currently alive *hint hint*). This person has to wear Delores' ring and accept and love Betelgeuse as is. She has to fall in love with his soul. Only loving him truly, wearing the ring, and sealing the deal with a kiss will release him, and that way, in the end, both his soul and his beloved's (it has got to be Lydia, please) can move on peacefully into the great beyond and exist without curses or attachments.

Totally a fantasy in my head because there's no way something like this would happen in canon much to the sadness of my little heart lol, but I thought I'd share it with you all. And who knows, maybe if there's a third movie they will explore what it is about Betelgeuse's character that is so attached to the concept of marriage. Because, listen, maybe the ritual where a ghost marries a living person and can materialize in the living world is something that is bound to the rules of the afterlife, and detailed in the Manual for the Recently Deceased, but the symbols and ritual of marriage is something intrinsic to the character of Betelgeuse itself.

He died on his wedding night, for starters. He was tricked by Delores and fell for her immediately. One could argue he fell quickly because she is so gorgeous and no doubt manipulated him into believing she loved him, and that's definitely part of it, but also, (and I have no doubt about this one), he believed her and fell for her immediately because Betelgeuse wants to be loved. He's a romantic underneath it all, and he wants to love and be loved. He might have been desiring it for a long time, failing to find love throughout his life until he met Delores.

He may exude self-confidence (maybe even to a delulu extent lol) and present himself in this very raunchy way, but inside, I'm sure he desires a genuine love; he wants to love someone and be loved truly. And he died, murdered by his bride on the night of his wedding. Betelgeuse was murdered on the night that should have been the happiest of his life, and his desire for love and a wedding stayed with him beyond the grave, now stained with blood and betrayal and a curse that can only be broken, in my head-canon/theory, by marrying someone who truly loves him, whom he truly loves.

Marriage is definitely a very important theme in Beetlejuice, so it'd be interesting if there's something more underneath it, which could be explored in the next movie if we are so lucky to get it.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 4

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter devastation. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Pairing- Chris Hems x Reader x Liam Hems

Word count- 2,211

Warnings- Smut, swearing, angst, cheating

18+ Only!!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 29th June 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings @longlostinanotherworld

>The Destructive Secret Masterlist<

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, silence so acute you could hear a pin drop. Liam waiting for an answer, Chris looking at his feet and you looking visibly anxious. Chris had drank way too much and now he was about to let all of your secrets loose. This isn't the way you want Liam to find out, surely Chris wouldn't be so cruel.

"I suppose you're not gonna tell me who it is?" 

"Not just yet, see how we go." He looked at you, if he so much as even looked slightly smug you would have slapped him right across his face. Instead you could see the hurt in his eyes, tears welling in the corners. You're both faced with an impossible dilemma, Chris wants you all to himself but doesn't want to lose his brother in the process and you want it all over and done with but don't want to hurt Liam. The latter of both is inevitable but you would take all the blame just so Chris didn't have to lose his brother, given the choice you would lose them both just so that didn't happen.

"Well on that note, I need to go to bed. I've gotta be up early in the morning." You avoid Chris' gaze, you're angry with him but you don't want to cause him more pain. 

"Yeah me too. I better get going. Thank you for dinner Y/N, it was lovely."

You risk a short glance at him, you're eyes softening when they meet. The moment broken when Liam speaks, reminding you where you are and who you're with right at this moment in time.

"Are you for real? You're really going to drop a bombshell like that and then leave? Fuck man." Liam runs his hand through his hair, letting air out of his cheeks exasperatedly.

"Sorry bro, I'll save the excitement for another night. I've said too much already." Chris apologises with his eyes as he passes you, his hands twitching by his side's with the need to touch you.

                             ******************

The next morning when you wake, your heart sinks knowing all the turmoil you're going to have to go through just to make it to the hotel without being spotted. All the messing about and hiding you have to do, checking in under a false name at different times. Making sure nobody follows you to the hotel and especially no one follows Chris. Getting caught checking into the same hotel would be dreadful, it wouldn't take a genius for the press to put two and two together, they wouldn't even care if it was true or not as long as they sold copies.

"Right babe, I'm ready to go." You pull your suitcase towards the door, stopping to wrap your arms around Liam.

"Have a good time, I'll see you soon." Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and lifting your feet from the ground in a squeezy hug. "I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you too, bye babe." 

"Bye. Love you. Let me know when you get checked in." He kisses you goodbye before watching you leave.

"Will do, Love you." You say over your shoulder, climbing into your silver, Audi convertible.

This is the part you hate the most, the part that made you question whether it was all worth it. It was, of course or you wouldn't be doing it, you wouldn't put yourself through having to pretend to be somebody else and praying your not caught by anyone. It only takes one person to notice you and Chris in the same hotel and it's over. You imagine having an affair is hard work whatever your circumstances but when your boyfriend and your lover are as famous as they are it becomes impossible. It's terrifying. 

You spent the car journey constantly checking your mirrors and making sure you weren't being followed. A huge sunhat and even bigger sunglasses covering your face as your heart beated faster than you thought was possible. A couple of laps around the hotel, making doubly sure you weren't being followed before you finally pulled into the carpark.

You had to constantly think, you couldn't let your guard drop for even a moment and it was exhausting. You were ready for it to be over and done with now, this just isn't fun anymore. Maybe you could run away together and start a new life somewhere else. Which one would you pick though? Who are you ready to give up? Would there even be an option to choose? Would Liam even be willing to forgive you if he knew you were sleeping with his brother? In love with his brother.

Your heart beating out of your chest, your fight or flight well and truly kicking in now as you walk up to the front desk. If there's any recognition in the receptionists eyes you're ready to turn right around and leave. The girl behind the desk, with long blonde hair has her eyes on the computer In front of her, thankfully not paying you much attention as you stand and wait for her to finish.

"Hi I'd like to book a room for two nights please." You stutter nervously, subconsciously checking over your shoulder while you spoke.

"Of course, is it just for yourself?" 

"Yes please, I'm just here for a work conference. I'd like a double bed if possible though, I haven't been able to sleep in a single since I was young." You giggle nervously, embarrassed that you'd told her information she isn't even slightly interested in.

"No problem, I'll see what I have for you." Her eyes barely left her computer as she spoke, she definitely didn't recognise you. The tension in your muscles relaxed a little as your eyes scanned the lobby.

"What name is it please?" She asked, one of the moments you'd been dreading. You hate lying but luckily you'd already come up with the fake name you were using, one you'd already used many times before in the exact same situation. It never gets any easier.

"Jessica Crawley." The names tumbled from your lips, names that had absolutely no meaning to you. 

"Room 101, floor 5. Is there anything else I can help you with?" 

"No thank you, that's great." The overwhelming feeling of relief at completing step one without any problems, rushes over you. Adrenaline spiking, making your legs feel like jelly.

"You're welcome, enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions." The girl says, smiling sweetly at you before going back to her work.

The elevator seemed to take forever to make its way down to you, your feet shuffling as you watched the numbers above the door, counting down. The overwhelming need to get to privacy and away from the many prying eyes of the people in the lobby was severe. Most were business men and women, that were so consumed in themselves they weren't paying special attention to anyone around them. There were also young couples, making their way through the lobby, probably on their way for lunch but the people that worried you the most were the random loners sat in the armchairs scattered around the lobby. They'd chosen the perfect place to watch, some pretending to read newspapers while their eyes discreetly scanned over the top.

They were much more inquisitive, much like yourself they paid more attention to the people around them. People watchers you liked to call them, these are the sorts of people that make you nervous. They see everything, noticing any minor details, you'd spent a lifetime perfecting 'people watching' which is how you knew to be wary. You could pretty much judge a person's personality just by watching them for a couple of minutes. If anyone was to spot you it would be one of these people. You felt thankful you weren't Chris, there is absolutely no way he was going to make it to the elevator without being seen at least once.

                             *******************

Chris didn't feel quite as nervous as you, this was a every day occurance in his life, avoiding paparazzi was near impossible for him. As long as you weren't seen going in to the hotel then it wouldn't matter about him being seen. Still, he'd worn his baseball cap and sunglasses to at least try and hide his identity. He wasn't nervous about being seen but more about having to face you after his fuck up last night. Now that thought was way more intimidating to him.

Casually strolling into the hotel, he tried to ignore the whispers of the people around him. People questioning if it was really him, young girls barely out of high school giggling at the sight of him. Chris quietly prayed that he would make it up to the room without anyone asking for a photo, not that he usually minded but today all he wanted was to spend every possible minute with you as he could.

The receptionist tried to make a fuss when his identity was confirmed during check in. The pale skin of the same blonde girl who'd checked you in, had turned a rather bright shade of red when she heard Chris' sexy Australian accent. You wouldn't blame her, it still makes you swoon whenever you heard him speak.

"I'm fine honestly, I don't want any special treatment. Actually if I could get away with going completely unnoticed during my stay, I will speak to your boss myself and tell them how accomodating you'd been." 

"Oh wow, really? Thank you so much Mr Hemsworth. I will make sure nobody bothers you and if you need anything at all just give me a call, I'll make sure you won't have to leave your room for anything." Chris smiled, pretending not to notice how she seemed to be flirting with him, badly. Tossing her hair over shoulder as she insinuated not so subtly for him to let her know if he wanted any 'special' treatment. Again, you don't blame the girl, infact you would've commended her confidence.

She handed over the keys to the penthouse, watching bright eyed as he walked to the elevator, pulling out his phone as he stepped straight in. 

"Hi babe, I've booked the penthouse suite, meet me up there?" Smiling a tight lipped smile at the girl behind the desk, who was still watching him intently as the elevator doors closed.

"Ok, it isn't very inconspicuous staying in the penthouse is it?" You shouldn't be surprised, he does it everytime. You remember the first time you ever saw a penthouse and how amazed you were that it was actually bigger than your own home at the time. That was a memory you shared with Liam, all of your first times had been with Liam, the thought made your heart sink.

"I mean they knew who I was as soon as I walked in, I think it would look more suspicious if I didn't stay in a suite." Chris answered, pulling you from your thoughts.

"I suppose that's true, I'll be up soon." You could hear the sadness in your voice, something you had to snap out of before meeting Chris.

"Good because I can't wait to get my hands on you." 

Sinking back onto the spongey mattress of your bed, tiredness washing over you already. The mental exhaustion of constantly having to play games and be on your guard at all times, catching up to you as you're finally alone.

Maybe that's what you need afterall, a chance to be alone to gather your thoughts, to workout your own needs and wants without spreading your attention between the two brothers.

You make a mental list of the pros and cons of both of them knowing deep down if Liam were the one for you, you'd have never have looked twice at Chris. They were so similar in a lot of ways but completely different in others.

Liam was the sweetest man you knew, so gentle and caring, attentive to your every whim and being so young when you first got together he was everything you were looking for.

Now being a woman that has gone through so much trauma in her life that had tainted your soul, darkened it with a lust for more.

Then Chris came along, he was still sweet and caring but less attentive to your needs unless it was in the bedroom. He was cheeky and funny, drop dead gorgeous and oozing manliness effortlessly. He was fire and passion. He was more. 

If you let yourself admit it, you wanted excitement, which is how you ended up here in the first place. You didn't want perfect anymore, you wanted a man who could do wrong and then make up for it in the most fulfilling way he knew how. Just thinking about it made your pulse race, Chris had put you through hell last night and now it was time for payback. You imagined Chris only a couple of floors above you, worried about the way you were going to act when you saw him and lord knows how much you're going to make him sweat.                    

[randomsnakesimp]

Day 28: what if...?

Just a couple of things I feel would have been possible (based on my interpretations/hc of the comics, not canon)

- so, obviously, what if Phobos and Cedric actually dated? While I am not a fan of romantic partners as emotional mules, I do think that in their case, just having someone might have made for a huge improvement as they don't have access to therapists. So while they likely would not have been good, per se, they would have been better than they are now, as being content eases compassion. I also feel Phobos would be more comfortable handing Cedric autonomous power, and Cedric would be more confident in doing what he feels is right, so Meridian would have a slightly more competent rule and this would ease the population (they'd still suck, but honestly, probably so does Elyon). Lastly, they'd distract one another from villaining, because Cedric would require scheduled marriage at the quietest of times and comic Phobos is so fucking lazy he can't have sex twice a week AND fight the guardians of the veil.

- what if Alborn and Miriadel took toddler Cedric along with Elyon? I already said above that I feel Cedric and Phobos are each others emotional support - so I feel with Cedric taken away, Phobos would go for either one of two extremes: he'd either become completely unhinged and destructive or he'd go apathetic. In either case he'd also lack planning abilities, so Meridian would probably be in utter chaos. In the latter case, someone else might actually take the throne. Either way, the guardians would likely be faced with a much worse, much more dangerous enemy once they get to Meridian. Cedric, on the other hand, would probably be a horribly over doting big brother to Elyon and the most annoying overachiever Sheffield Institute ever taught. I also feel that he'd be more questioning than Elyon, as he'd have more clear memory of Meridian, and at some point figure out where they came from. This would provide Elyon with more time to mature and train for her destiny. Also, once Elyon takes the throne she would have him by her side, and if nothing else he'd make sure she doesn't forget appointments and has all the facts necessary.

- what if Elyon was male and Phobos female? I feel those two are more similar than they like to think and Phobos is sort of a "there, but for the grace of God, go I". So they'd probably switch roles, but since Elyon is the younger one she'd have no chance and just be this bitter emo strolling the castle. (In the same way I think Phobos and Elyon would be a bit too similar had their mother and the people accepted and loved both).

- what if Caleb had decided to stay and spy in the castle rather than run away? I assume he doesn't remember much of the castle, as he was in a trance as a whisperer and his sentience only started once he woke, to which he immediately ran off. I don't think it takes a genius, if given the information the whisperers have access to, to figure out Cedric would swoon for the first person to be nice to him, so that plan writes itself. He'd probably be super petty about it once he finds out Phobos is just too stupid to communicate his feelings. Like, have his final act before betraying Phobos be fucking Cedric in clear earshot of him.

- what if Ludmoore was living in Meridian during canon? As he wouldn't have had decades to become consumed by his entrapment, he'd probably be what Blunk should have been - the chaotic neutral with his own agenda. He'd be doing everything in the name of science (or for the lols) and align himself with whatever side suits those needs best at the moment. Definitely an interesting addition, I'd think, and probably the cause of that one special where everyone has to work together as he accidentally infected the city with a pathogen that turns people random ages every time they sneeze.

That's it for today, folks.

I feel like most other interesting questions would be concerning later comics, but the issue there is that I'd first have to establish how much of the canon actually makes sense to me, and what should have been, and I don't want to overload you. However, if there's an issue or arc that you'd like my thoughts on, I'll gladly tell you^^