#actual experience at the end of the pandemic. it was glorious and good. but I'm also depressed about it. and this is my post to cope so...

[chaoticvictorianspirit]

Actually, I like codependency in fiction. Let people love each other exactly in the way they long for and need. Just because they are capable of functioning seperately doesn't mean they have to when all they want to do is spend their days together and share the tiny blip of existence they have left with one another. And I'm sorry but I'm tired of screenwriters pretending that learning to be miserable on your own is somehow a superior story arch as well as a moral virtue somehow. Maybe you want realism in your fiction but I for one want my comfort characters to morph into a singular entity. I want to treat them the way I did gummy bears as a child and just leave them out in the sun until they melt together into one solid block of sweetness. Reality is already depressing enough. Friendships end. Love fades. Life gets in the way and seperates people who aren't ready for their journey together to be over yet. Loved ones leave us all the time and sometimes there's no good explanation and it's unfair and painful and too often there's nothing you can do about it. And sometimes the one person you wish you could talk about it with the most is the one that's leaving and it fucking sucks. [And I get that this is precisely why we need these themes in fiction to confront these feeling and cope with them in a setting removed from reality but that's not what this post is about damn it.] I just wish this weren't the only angle we got. I wish we also got the "easy" happy endings, the unrealistic friendships, the kind of closeness that isn't portrayed as weighing you down but rather lifting you up. I wish fairytales weren't only for children and I wish adults didn't take such pride in forgetting they were children once, too. Can't we at least have the nice things in our little made up worlds?

TL;DR: Girls should get to have their little escapist delusions. As a treat.

[rlmfanfic]

I did a lot of research and I think Jay peaked in hotness in 2016. He looked amazing but twinkish in 2013-2015, and started to age and get a bit chubby again in 2017. What do you think? This is my first ever Jay thirst post anywhere on social media.

I'd say I can see your perspective. But I don't think "peak" is an applicable term.

I'd argue that each Jay era has appeal. In that case, he's peaked several times and shows no signs of stopping. If we're gonna objectify Jay, let's do it right.

Like his ska/punk phase of the early 2000's:

The spikey hair! The ironic t-shirts! The long shorts with skate shoes and socks pulled up to his knees!

As a gal who's old enough to remember 2002, if I had met him back then, would have been completely obsessed with Jay. (Ha! Like I'm not now).

Ska Punk Jay is peak overbite adorableness. Look at him! He's baby! One of my absolute favorite Jays.

And I'll admit that the neck beard phase of 2006 wasn't all that appealing visually....

HOWEVER!!!

He actually only grew his hair out like that to appear in a friend's PBS documentary called The Making of Milwaukee. So underneath that Amish façade was very loyal and supportive guy willing to look like a total weirdo for months to help out his friend - which I find pretty damn sexy. ☺️

Then there's the delightful filth that was Jay 2009 during Feeding Frenzy:

Just teetering on the edge of being able to grow a proper beard and mustache, yet failing spectacularly. Unkempt, fluffy hair. Approachable, funny, and attractive in a off-the-beaten path kind of way. It's an aquired taste - like feta cheese or babaganush - but oddly appealing. Definitely in my top 4 Jays.

And while I know it's not the most popular of opinions, I honestly love schlubby 2011 Jay. I could just slap those cheeks. He's an awkward angel! Can you imagine how hard this guy would work to please a woman? Oh my stars and garters!

Then came the glorious day in 2013 when Jay discovered he could grow a mustache attached to his beard:

This is in my at least top 3. Still has some adorable thickness, but with the burgeoning confidence of a man who just figured out how to properly groom himself and the awkwardness of finally being on the receiving end of copious female attention. I bet the cashier at his local Target winked at him and he had literally no idea how to handle it. Mwah! 👄👄

2014-2016 brought us the transition from peak fitness, spikey-bangs Jay to peak fitness swoopy-bangs Jay.

Spike or swoop, he is very handsome. Like objectively- he's just a fit, good-looking man in this phase. And while that's wonderful for him and I hope he slammed as much ass as he ever dreamed of, it's not my favorite Jay. Looks like he'd be too busy jogging and counting carbs to get up to the types of jackassery I like to experience in a relationship.

And whereas you, Dear Anon, feel that 2017 brought back some chubbiness, I feel it's more that Jay settled down into a healthy, sustainable body type that he was more comfortable with.

In hornier terms, I feel this is the "Jay's Thick Thighs Save Lives" phase. And I enjoyed it quite a bit. Talk about Junk-a, am I right?

And while I could have lived happily forever in that phase, 2020 brought something unexpected. Something wonderful. Indeed, my favorite Jay.

A Jay who crosses over from merely handsome into the sublime.

Long-Hair Pandemic Jay 👁👄👁

A nectar so sweet that the gods themselves became jealous.

He eased us in to the look over several months of quarantine and for that, I'm grateful. For to witness the full glory of Long-Hair Pandemic Jay is to gaze upon the divine.

💚💜👻 For chrissakes, look at him! 👻💜💚

The black hoodies! The garish mood-lighting! The sexy "who gives a shit, we're all gonna die anyway" cynicism that drips from his every pore. And all while bringing back his delightfully-snuggleable beer belly! Just the perfect blend of comfy and sexy. The peak of the peak and hands-down my favorite Jay. Even inspired a 95K+ word fanfic.

After he crushed all of us with the haircut in 2021, I've taken solace in the notion that he's gone back to his 2017-2020 "handsome and happy" look. Now with more wrinkles when he smiles and beautiful silver streaks at his temples. Confident and comfortable in his own skin and just scrumptious.

A little thicker? Sure. But I honestly love it and I think he looks amazing. Just like he always has.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[raleighliving]

The Weather's Nice, What Now?

I gotta pump this out really quick, I live in one of those parts where today's gonna be a really really SHIT day weather-wise and my internet's probably gonna drop hard once the 60+ mph winds hit.

So (today aside) the weather for the upcoming weeks looks like it's gonna be really nice. Upper 60s, mid 70s weather with sunny and cloudy days that mark the arrival of spring (until we fall back into sub-30 frostbitten cold as punishment for getting comfortable). If you're inclined towards doing things other than writing semi-cynical blog posts all day and taking sub-amateur pictures of parks and buildings, then this means you'll probably want to spend the next week outside!

"But RL," I hear you say between sips of your Bojangles 64oz sweet tea and fistfuls of biscuits, "We're still in a pandemic and I'm afraid of the sight of my own shadow. I've illuminated my house with over 400 lamps."

That first point is true and the second point is terrifying. We're starting vaccine rollouts for more people soon, but that doesn't mean we throw caution to the wind and start licking doorknobs again. That being said, there's still plenty of fun things to do that will let you enjoy the warm breeze and scents of blooming flowers across Raleigh.

So to start with, you know the State Fairgrounds? That place where the State Fair is held each year and the flea market on weekends? Did you know that they have a website, and did you know they list all of their upcoming events on said website?

Super useful too, it's organized month-by-month with an admin that actually updates things fairly reliably (at least in my experiences they've been quick with updating regarding cancellations). Looking for something you and your family can do, you can consult the list and see.

For example, a drive-thru Dino Expedition event just ended but it's going to be replaced soon with a Drive-In Laser Light Show from the 18th through the 21st of March. Gun and Knife shows, a Reptile convention, and more are on the docket for this month so give it a go and see if anything strikes your fancy.

Similarly, you can use the visitraleigh website to find events happening across the city (although it does tend towards downtown). The site's mostly geared towards tourism but if you're the type to not really go out looking for adventure (Like I was), sites like this can be a godsend for getting ideas for things to do.

Don't wanna leave the immediate area of your house? Don't want to deal with Raleigh drivers and their flagrant disregard for traffic rules? Then maybe while the weather's nice, now's the time to consider a DIY project or two to keep yourself busy on your days off.

If you've got any amount of backyard space or a balcony to hang planters off of, many Americans find gardening to be a relaxing and fun hobby. In college, I nurtured a lily to keep myself sane (Until a door opening sucked it out an open window, smashing the flower's plastic container against the building's AC unit) and it worked for the most part.

The act of crafting something or nurturing something is cathartic, and then having a tangible result as proof of your hard labor just intensifies the feeling.

Don't know what to build? Not sure what's good to grow? Well, since you're reading this blog I guess I don't have to tell you what the internet is and how to use it; but I will recommend looking at Big Happy Backyard, a website dedicated to maintaining your yard space with projects and tips most Americans would be able to perform.

"RL!" I hear you scream, upsetting all the dogs for the next 2 city blocks, "I don't want to go outside! I have to be on Zoom calls all day! I hate people and just want to enjoy the weather without having to risk interacting with them in any way, shape, or form!"

That's valid. Sometimes you can't or won't go outside but still get the urge to enjoy the weather, and I have a simple solution for that exact problem!

Open your windows.

That's not sarcasm either, if you're stuck indoors and it's the most glorious day outside there's no reason you shouldn't be able to at least let in some fresh air.

Fresh air can be important too! According to the Long Island Weight Loss Institute, fresh air contains fewer pollutants than indoor air, helps you feel more energetic, and can apparently even improve your digestion.

Essentially, don't let a busy life or a fear of the outdoors deprive you of an easy health benefit! It's super easy and the only thing you have to fear is pollen (which may be a reasonable fear given how much we get around this time).

Today's gonna be shit. We're looking at winds up to 60 mph, it's supposed to rain, hail, AND thunder, and some areas of Raleigh are definitely gonna flood (lookin' at you Crabtree). Once it's over though, the nicer days ahead will be something we can look forward to as flowers start to sprout and things start to stabilize into spring.