#acok reread got me feeling a type of way about them

[eggtargaryenii]

the state of the gendry/arya tag in ~2011 vs now is so cruel like top kudos fics now all feature them as a side ship whereas they all used to be banger gendrya canon longfics 😞

[gsabt]

AGOT; Prologue

→ Bran I

Preface

Welcome to my first installment of a totally unoriginal concept! You can call me G, Sab/Sabi, Mia, I really don’t care. You’ll probably call me a whore after this first post to be fair!

I think over time I’ll perfect these posts since I was never fully sure of how I wanted to format things. Obviously it’ll be about the chapter and my thoughts however I won’t be divulging everything in the chapter because y’know… it’s pretty cheap to buy and if you’re feeling a little Greyjoy it’s easy to find over on the high seas but hey, I won’t tell if you won’t. I’ve read both AGOT and ACOK start to finish and even got into ASOS when I was around 15-17. Now as a much older adult, I decided to hop back in and check on my ex-bf Jon Snow who is now very younger than me and I wish GRRM would fix that desperately.

Anyways I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, pretty much since I started my main blog earlier this year but I have a career and whatnot. Let’s get started cause I need to shut it already. Be warned, there will be spoilers and I may lightly discuss theories when they tie into chapters in the later books.

Chapter Summary

I’m not surprised that right from the first line, my loud mouth already has commentary.

“We should start back,” Gared urged as the woods began to grow dark around them.

Like yeah, you’re nuts for wanting to check this out, Waymar, pack it up babe they’re dead! Speaking of Waymar it’d hit it till the wheels fall off. Back on track. I have always enjoyed how immersive George’s writing was, people have told me how my own writing is very Tolkien-like which I think is totally brown-nosing but thank you anyway. The seamless immersion every time I read this chapter is unbelievable as I’m the type of person to ‘see’ things I read in my head practically being played out if that makes sense.

This chapter is scary and it damn well should be. These three Nights Watch men are trekking through the Haunted Forest tracking wildlings that are claimed to be deceased by Will, our POV character for the prologue. He’s having the worst night of his life being stuck between Gared and Waymar, the latter being very douchey and picking at Gared but what I said earlier still stands. Till the wheels fall off.

I also think Waymar getting to be the commander of this ranging after only being in the NW for about 6 months is telling of the Nights Watch and the influence of nepotism but of course, that’s my opinion. Waymar is continually an asshole to Gared who is clearly played into the wise elder trope. This is a man that’s lost pieces of himself during the freezing cold winters, something Waymar has never experienced. I do feel greatly bad for Gared, having to deal with a ‘man’-child and I say it like that because I believe it’s 15 that boys are considered men which I clearly don’t agree but I mean… pop off feudalism.

The way the Others are written makes me so uncomfortable. I’m made aware of how sentient these beings are despite they share no common tongue (as far as we know) with the human characters in this chapter. They know their abilities and are confident of it when it comes to fighting Waymar.

The Other’s parry was almost lazy.

Waymar’s death was certainly a downer, especially with the sword shard getting into one of his eyes (the left I believe). But Will’s death certainly hit a little harder. I can’t imagine trying to leave and suddenly your commander who you believe to be dead just rises and stands behind you, looming like a tower of dread. It’s a feeling I know from experience and it’s horrifying. Big G hardly misses and after my 4th reread of this prologue it’s safe to say that I still thoroughly enjoy it.

[thecrenellations]

“Warmed by the sun and cooled by the sea breeze, she was busy with her thoughts.”

“All I wanted to do was lie in the dry prickly grass with my feet in a ditch forever. I could be a convenient sort of milemarker, I thought. Get to the thief and you know you are halfway to Methana. Wherever Methana might be.”

“his thoughts circled like birds that couldn’t find a perch”

“[my thoughts] churned against one another like waves in a storm”

“Relius was left behind in the quiet room, considering a new philosophy”

“It seemed like hours that he sat on the small stool by the bed, lost in his thoughts -- or whatever he had in his head that approximated thoughts.”

“Who knows but that you will get up to find that the world has inverted itself yet again?”

on finishing Return of the Thief:

HELLO I finished rott ... several days ago, now, and I am just stopping by to say that it was a LOT, and I look forward to seeing what everyone has been thinking, feeling, and drawing ... once I’ve taken a little more time away to wrap my head around it. I hope everyone has been having the reading and discussing experience that’s right for them. I’ve been thinking of all of you/all of us this week!

I don’t really know what this post is; the first time I tried writing the note above, it turned into a ton of book-adjacent feelings, so I’ll stick some of that down below, if anyone feels like reading me being introspectively lachrymose (it’s way more about me than it is about the book).

I also drew these two moments, one we saw and one we didn’t:

L: “I saw Kamet approach Teleus, who’d propped himself against a crenellated wall.” Big shoutout to the CRENELLATIONS in this final scene! Also to Kamet’s thoughtfulness :,)

R: “I’ve arranged for them to both be in the garden at the same time, entirely alone. We’ll see which one leaves alive.” wtf Gen

......

So, so, so, I finished rott, and ... wow. It’s a lot to take in, and it was definitely the most intense reading experience of my life (mentally/emotionally and also physically, in terms of heart rate/ability to sleep and otherwise function this week, oops). It’s interesting - I’d been thinking a lot about how this would be my first and only time reading a qt book just as it came out, with everyone else, since I was suspiciously fortunate and ended up with advance copies of the last two. I’d had a month or more with both ACoK and TaT before being able to jump into discussions, and I hadn’t realized until finishing this book how that might be necessary for me. I’d though I’d be eager to return to Sounis (which I still think is great for centralized, detailed conversations) and dip my toe into Discord (which sounds very fun all around), and of course to find out what everyone thought here! Turns out I am NOT ready … even though I took notes, read much slower than that one guy’s amended army speed calculations, and got to holler along with an indispensable friend who started reading at the same time, I still need some time to attempt to wrap my head around everything this book contained.

I have problems with perfectionism and weird expectations for myself in my relationship with these books – from the moment mwt announced rott, I focused on not feeling “ready” for it to happen so quickly – I wouldn’t be able to reread the existing series infinite times, or finally read Vorkosigan and Lymond and all of Rosemary Sutcliff, or reread Dalemark. Or make the art I wanted, or be truly part of Sounis again, or move forward enough that my own life didn’t feel exactly the same as in spring 2017, just more stuck. The book is out, and while I am still a bit stuck, I am different than I was in 2017 in lots of ways, even if it’s not as obvious a difference as between 2010 and 2017. A small one is my engagement with the fandom and people here! I’m pretty sure I used to just be a series of posts occasionally floating by (a decent thing to be, don’t get me wrong), and I often wonder what I seem like as a person for those who just know me here, but now I occasionally make stuff and talk to people (and even got to meet one through a coincidence that still amazes me)!

So while I’ve made some progress letting go of some of those feelings of never being ready, it’s possible that this is part of where I’m coming from now. If I NEVER COME BACK TO TUMBLR, I will certainly have fallen into that trap, but I do think I’ll be back soon. I know that these books aren’t something a reader can ever perfectly understand, especially alone, and I know they’ve been so deeply meaningful and formative because of my interactions with others and exposure to how they experience the stories and characters. (This means YOU!) The last few months have been particularly amazing, with all the rereads and anticipation. I am so grateful for that, and a new book coming out is only the beginning… of course.

Nearly 450 pages of new qt just did a number on me, and I need to take it in for a bit, reread, fill up my Mitt notebook, and make some “so, so, so” graphs (and maybe update that Valentine’s Day post) to COPE! But I am genuinely looking forward to catching up soon, and I’m truly wishing everyone the reading/discussing experience they need right now! About the book itself, I will say: so much of it made me really, really happy, and there were a few things that I truly NEVER expected to see. Some of it made me sad, mostly in a good way, because mwt writes like she does. Some of it made my heart pound even harder as I read sentence by sentence, eyes creeping down the page with my bookmark blocking what came next. And before I started the book, I got to sit with it for a few hours in a quiet park on a gently breezy and sunny day … I’ll never be the perfect reader, but that felt right.

This totally turned into a Formal Letter of Absence, as if my presence here is vital or something, but if this isn’t an occasion to toss out some emotions for all to see, what is? And it’s also possible that typing all this up has helped me work through a lot of these feelings and I’ll be back tomorrow, lol.

You read this far, here are two hasty doodles of Sophos and a horse he has an awful lot in common with, and Pheris under the table, observing some embroidered ~foreshadowing~ with his wonderful eye for detail.

<3