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poetofthedyingstars · 3 years

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anagolay — "it'll always be you" ; chameron

( btw thank u so much for the ask on my 100 followers celebration <3 ily )

always you

cameron kept glancing at charlie who was talking to some girl across the room. she isn’t some girl though - which is worse - she’s joy, cameron’s co-worker. cameron doesn’t even remember joy greeting him and yet she’s still here. charlie's been talking to her forever. what could they possibly be talking and laughing about? it's annoying the hell out of him.

cameron grunted and looked down on the champagne glass he can't even finish now. this party was supposed to be about him having fun. and just because his smug smiling ex-boyfriend is here, it's all ruined? cameron sees charlie all the time. they're in the same friend group, for god's sake! so, what's the problem now if charlie's here at cameron's birthday party, talking to some girl? not like cameron still has feelings for charlie, right? that's insane.

“hey, what's the matter? you look depressed.”

cameron looked up to see who was asking and saw neil. neil's pretty much worried about him everyday, he doesn't know why. whether it's because cam and charlie breaking up or cameron being depressed because of career pressure, he'll never know. cameron sighed.

“it's nothing, i'm fine,” he said and took a sip of his champagne. “and for the record, i pretty much look depressed everyday of my life and come on, neil. where’s todd? you look down. i am seriously having the best time!” he forced a laugh and then a fake smile. typical cameron move. is he going to be like this forever? my god, he’s such a fucking loser. neil sat down in front of him and took the champagne out of his hand and drank it instead.

“hey! i was drinking that!” cameron complained. but not like he actually wants to drink it anymore. he’s actually glad.

“yeah, no. you drank enough for the night. i already told you earlier that todd was feeling sick so he didn’t attended the party,” neil said. cameron grunted and covered his face with two hands.

“i’m sorry, neil. out of it tonight. i’m a wreck.”

he heard a laugh behind them which obviously were from charlie. nobody laughs like he does. charlie’s laugh, it’s so loud and annoying, it basically drowns all other sounds in any kind of environment. he laughs like he’s the only person in the world. or maybe that’s just how cameron sees it. but no, that’s dumb! cameron does not think charlie’s laugh was the only thing that matters and he definitely doesn’t want to hear it on repeat every minute of the day. that’s dumb. he’s probably just too drunk now.

“look, cam, you need to go home.” neil said again with genuine concern. “you need to rest. you’re drunk.”

“neil, i just can’t leave my own birthday party.” before neil can ever answer him, somebody else butts in the conversation.

“typical cameron, always thinking of others before yourself. half of your guest already went home and they didn’t even bother to greet you good bye and here you are, drunk and a wreck, worrying about them.”

of course. of course, he’s gonna mock cameron. he always did. cameron didn’t even looked behind him to know who it was. it was charlie. it was always charlie.

“charlie’s right, cam. just go home and i’ll deal with the guests. is that okay?”

cameron’s brain is basically too blank to think. he knows he needs to go home. plus, he can’t stand charlie right now. he just sighed and nodded. “fine.” he mumbled silently.

“great! i’ll talk to everyone, you go home. charlie should accompany you. you’re too drunk to go by yourself.” neil said again while grinning. that woke cameron up.

“what? charlie? i can go home alone! remember your birthday party, well i went by myself, you said i was drunk too but i was fine! i can take care of myself.”

“sounds like a sad brag, honestly.”

cameron glared at charlie. one more second with this annoying piece of shit and he’s gonna burst like a bomb. why can’t charlie just leave him alone? for fuck’s sake.

“i mean, isn’t that time you accidentally slept at someone’s house and almost got sued?” neil argued. fuck. cameron forgot about that.

“but i didn’t get sued, right? i’m fine!”

neil shook his head and stood from his seat. “just let charlie make sure you get into a cab or something.”

“ugh, fine!” he stood up too and stormed off for the exit.

he totally did not like that idea at all. but whatever. he doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone, especially neil. just got to deal with charlie for a moment, he’ll be fine. right?

cameron is drunker than what he anticipated himself to be. he just wants to passed out on his bed right now and sleep soundly. the cab was moving so slow and it’s making cameron nauseous. charlie was sitting beside him, using his phone and texting. cameron looked at it. bet he’s texting that girl from earlier. he may never admit it but he does miss charlie. whatever. it’s not like anything’s going to change now. charlie’s probably asked her on a date already.

it sucks so bad. cameron wistfully wished that things between them were the way before it happened. he just misses it so bad. he just wants to hear charlie laugh again but not because of what other people said to him, but cameron. why is cameron so stupid for letting him go? he knows he had to made a choice but fuck, it hurts so bad. he misses his charlie so bad.

cameron didn’t noticed the tears falling from his eyes. he squeezed himself closer to the window and wiped all his tears. charlie noticed him.

“are you okay?”

“yeah… yeah. i’m sorry.” he simply replied but that sorry had a deeper meaning that what he intended to. cameron closed his eyes. “just tell me when we’re near the apartment.” he heard charlie mumble something inaudible but didn’t bother to ask.

charlie helped him get out of the cab because he can’t even walk straight anymore. cameron keeps saying he’s sober and can walk on his own but charlie insists. charlie’s always been persistent, no? how can cameron ever resist that piece of shit?

charlie half - dragged, half - carried cameron inside the apartment. charlie’s pretty sure some neighbors looked weirdly at them. whatever.

“you’re so heavy, you know that?” charlie said while dragging cameron to enter the bedroom. when they finally made it inside, he just pushed cameron onto the bed. cameron groaned and laid on the bed properly on his own.

“alright. you're tucked in bed. go to sleep. i'm going to go home.” charlie said and shook his head at the sight of cameron. he's not sure, he ever saw cameron this drunk before. before charlie can walk out, cameron grabbed his hand. charlie looked at him.

“what now?”

“are you going to go out with joy?” charlie almost didn't understand it because cameron was slurring his words. he's so drunk and still won't go to sleep.

“no,” charlie answered honestly because he knows tomorrow, cameron is not gonna remember anything. he doesn't even like joy, why would he go out with her? she's just nice and funny and reminded him of one of his cousins.

cameron laughed. “that's nice to hear. for a second there, i thought you were gonna replace me.”

charlie's eyebrow widened. all the blood on his body went up to his cheeks and he can't stop smiling about it.

“you know what drunk cameron, i am starting to like you but you need to go to sleep before you spill anything else that you're gonna regret tomorrow when you wake up, okay?” charlie put over the blanket on cameron.

“mhmm. will you promise me not to go out with joy first?”

“sheesh, i already told you. i'm not going to go out with her.”

“promise?”

“it'll always be you, cameron. always you. now go to sleep, alright?”

“mmkay.” cameron finally said and went to sleep. charlie smiled by himself. cameron wouldn't remember tomorrow and he can't place whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. but, certainly, this is a start to something. charlie kissed cameron's forehead before he left.

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