#account of my being part chinese but raised in australia or what have u and my dad goes well thats racist
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i made such a fucking stupid mistake when talking to my parents at dinner i literally want to die
#relaying the events of the day and it slipped out that my best friend (producer man ive been talking abt)’s boyfriend called me a banana on#account of my being part chinese but raised in australia or what have u and my dad goes well thats racist#and like its not rly yknow like this man is chinese and im only part chinese and dont speak the language and was raised in australia and#on and on but more importantly is the fact that my dad keeps trying to raise equivalents to racism#like he wants nonwhite ppl saying something about white ppl to be ‘racist’ because white ppl saying something abt nonwhite ppl is#and he just doesnt understand its different and i tried to talk to him about it the other day and it didnt work#and so my mum goes ‘nessas going 2 sit u down one day and explain it all’ and EYE went ‘im not’#when technically i SHOULD and i will have to because no one else is going to do it and it shouldnt fall to my mum but i fucking hate it i#hate it i hate it why is this such a problem why can he not just fucking understand or put some effort into understanding#he is not racist on a big scale ofc but he will do things like this and for whatever reason theres been a few things like this in the past m#month and he needs to fucking stop and i dont know how to get him to and i want to die#i barely ever bring up race or whatever bc its such a loaded topic so i dont know why i was so stupid tonight (v v tired)#my parents r probably in the most stable point of their relationship they have ever been in and this could very well blow it all the fuck up#and that would be justified on my mums part#ive just had it ive had enough#AND THE THING IS IM NOW JUST GOING TO LEAVE NEXT YEAR???? leave my baby sibling w all this ?????#its too much i cant do it#and like idk !!!!!! its all so much i hate it all so much as if i didnt feel guilty enough abt not being chinese enough or indian enough or#fucking ! australian enough !!!!#dont mind me im fine#this isnt that big a problem realistically
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