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knario47 · 2 years ago

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TARA

Pequeñas Historias de Canarias

Origen de los Canarios según Marín de Cubas y el significado de Tara.

Contaban el año llamado acano por las lunas, de veinte i nuebe soles, ajustábanlo por el stío onde en la primera luna hacían nuebe días de fiestas i regocijos a el recojer sus cementeras, pintaban en unas tablas de drago i en piedras, i en paredes de las cuebas, con almagra, i rayas, i otros caracteres llamados tara, i onde los ponían tarja a modo de scudos de armas, decían que su origen era de la parte de el sur de África i también señalaban a el oriente; y según decían era mui antigua la población de yslas.

Marín (1986 [1687]: 77 v)

Contaban su año llamado Acano por las lunaciones de veinte y nueve soles desde el día que aparecía nueva empesaban por el stío, quando el sol entra en Cancro a veinte y uno de junio en adelante la primera conjunción, y por nueve días continuos hazían grandes vailes y convites, y casamientos, haviendo cojido sus sementeras hazían raias en tablas, pared o piedras; llamaban tara, y tarja aquella memoria de lo que significaba.

Marín (1986 [1694]: 254)

Tenemos, pues, que Marín menciona en ambos manuscritos que los canarios solían pintar o rayar ciertos datos sobre tablas, paredes y piedras, por medio de ciertos caracteres que él llama tara.

Aunque la siempre confusa puntuación del texto por parte de Marín puede dejar algún lugar a la duda, que su referencia a las tara y tarja de los canarios hace mención a la anotación de cómputos calendáricos queda absolutamente claro en la siguiente cita extraída de su manuscrito de 1687, en la que trata de ciertas imágenes católicas dejadas en la Isla a mediados del siglo XIV por los primeros misioneros mallorquines, y encontradas por los conquistadores españoles un siglo más tarde:

tractan de estas ymágenes todos los que han scripto de conquista. Alonso Jaimes de Sotomaior, en las relaciones que invió a Spaña; el licenciado Alvar García de Sancta María de quién tomó en sus Anales Gerónimo Zurita, el padre fr. Juan Galindo, Abreu en su Conquista de las Siete Yslas de Canaria; Antonio Cedeño que vino con Juan Rejón, i fue de los que hallaron a S. Antón; y en las tarjas i taras de los canarios se savían los años que estubieron en la ysla las cosas de esta memoria y con el tiempo se iban dexando descubrir.

Marín (1986 [1687]: 91 r)

Ciertamente, éste nos parece un texto muy importante dado que leído a la luz de los textos citados previamente es la única noticia que conocemos afirmando explícitamente la existencia de una memoria histórica de la Isla enmarcada dentro de un calendario astronómico escrito. Una notable y prometedora noticia, plenamente confirmada por el análisis lingüístico de la palabra tara. En efecto, el análisis lingüístico despeja cualquier posible duda sobre el origen y significado bereber del término tara apuntado por Marín. Se trata de una forma femenina plural construida sobre un bien documentado radical panbereber R, relacionado con la acción de escribir. Así, tenemos:

Kabilio

Aru = escribir ║ Tira = escritura (fem. pl.) (Dallet 1982: 697).

Tachelhit

Ara = escribir (Dallet 1982: 697).

Tamazight

Aru = escribir, inscribir, registrar ║ Tirra = acción de escribir, escritura, inscripción (fem. pl.)

(Taifi 1992: 557-558).

Zenaga

Tirih = forma de escribir, escritura, dictado. (Nicolas 1953: 330).

Tamahaq

Têreut (fem. sg.) / Têra (fem. pl.) = Carta (misiva) ║ Amuleto consistente en un escrito ║Significa también diseño de adorno (consistente en líneas, puntos, figuras geométricas, etc., no representando nada viviente ni nada que exista en la naturaleza, trazado no importa cómo ni sobre que) Todo diseño consistente en líneas, puntos, figuras geométricas, etc., sin representar ni persona, ni animal, ni vegetal ni nada que se vea en la naturaleza, ya sea esculpido sobre roca, trazado con un color cualquiera sobre la cara de alguien para disfrazarlo, bordado o trazado por no importa que procedimiento, sobre un tejido o una piel para adornarlo, trazado con no importa qué, sobre papel, etc., es un têreut ��Los Kel-Ahaggar no conocen el verbo aru escribir, que existe en ciertos dialectos bereberes. De la raíz R sólo conservan la palabra têreut [Foucauld 1952: IV, 1557).

Ahora bien, ¿de qué tipo de inscripciones o escrituras calendáricas se trata? En mi opinión, existen tres posibilidades principales:

Taras alfabéticas: Si hablamos de escritura alfabética, hasta el momento el único alfabeto documentado arqueológicamente en Gran Canaria con anterioridad a la dominación castellana, es el llamado alfabeto líbico-bereber. De él se han encontrado escasos pero notables ejemplos de inscripciones grabadas en roca, tanto en el barranco de Balos como en el roque Bentaiga. Cabe, pues, la posibilidad de que las taras a que se refiere Marín estén relacionadas con la escritura líbico-bereber.

Taras rayadas: Si hablamos de anotaciones calendáricas, una posibilidad natural extendida por muy diversas culturas consistiría en el uso de rayas o muescas en madera, piedra, etc., para anotar cuentas, ya sean calendáricas o de cualquier otro tipo. Sin embargo, desde el punto de vista arqueológico sólo conozco la atribución, a mi parecer muy dudosa, que se hace de unos trozos de madera con toscas incisiones, expuestos en el Museo Araña (San Bartolomé de Tirajana) bajo el siguiente epígrafe: Pieza R nº 1.54, trozos de madera con gruesas incisiones. ¿Formas de contar? Localidad Ansite. Año de exploración 1961.

Taras pintadas: La tercera posibilidad la constituyen las pinturas marcadamente geométricas que aparecen recurrentemente en la arqueología de Gran Canaria, y que, como veremos a continuación, parecen haber tenido un significado cultural mucho más rico y profundo del comúnmente aceptado.

Puestas así las cosas, la cuestión es: ¿Qué más podemos saber sobre las taras a través de las fuentes escritas? ¿Se pueden documentar arqueológicamente?

Desafortunadamente, no hemos encontrado más referencias explícitas a las taras en las fuentes escritas (...)

Fuente: Sistemas de numeración y calendarios de las poblaciones bereberes de Gran Canaria y Tenerife en los siglos XIV-XV.

https://ayosehimargonzalezpadilla.blogspot.com/.../origen...

https://ayosehimargonzalezpadilla.blogspot.com/.../origen

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lupinwriites · 3 years ago

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Why should I get rid of you?

Fandom: Bad and Crazy.

Rating: 13+(?!).

Warnings: Not much, if anything. Split personality disorder. Maybe some swearing. I don't mean to romanticize DID or other split personality disorders, nor do I know enough about DID or other split personality to write about it with 100% accuracy. Things I have written will be wrong and inaccurate, I am not claiming this is how it works; this is nothing more than my creative writing. I don't mean to upset anyone whatsoever.

Pairing: Ryu Su Yeol x K.

Word Count: 6390.

A/N: This story is based on the song Undone by Taylor Acano. It's a song I recently discovered and usually play when I am reading. Then out of nowhere it reminded me of Su Yeol and K. 5 days ago I finally started to write it. Getting the start right took me quite a while, but once I got into the flow of it, getting out of the house and not being able to work in this was a struggle. I hated not being able to write on this. And now it's finished... what will I do with my life?!

A few things.. this is based on a song, how I am posting this on Tumblr, is without the lyrics and in chronological order of the things happening. On Archive Of Our Own I uploaded this story twice; chapter one is how I wrote it, with song lyrics, not in chronological order because of the song lyrics, chapter 2 on AO3 is what I uploaded here.

Enjoy!

Find it on on Archive Of Our Own:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37041259/chapters/92422138

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Ryu Su Yeol watched in awe as a breathtaking man dressed in average denim jeans and a burgundy leather jacket walked passed him. The man seemed to be on a mission, his face concentrated with a small smirk on his lips, his shoulders broad and back straight, his pace quick and unbothered.

To Su Yeol the man radiated a fierce, untamed and powerful strength; like he could face anything in the world and be alright through all of it. He was jealous of the man looking like that and feeling like he was the polar opposite of this man, he wished he could be like that too.

Su Yeol contemplated trying to meet the man at a later time, maybe he should ask him for some advice and tips.

After thinking it over for a minute, he made the decision to find him later, to speak to him honestly. He would confess to the man how he’d looked to Su Yeol; cool and bad-ass; like he could handle absolutely that was thrown his way and how he looked content to be seen as though, like he knew people knew he wouldn’t take your bullshit yet he’d let you try just for the sake of seeing you struggle. Beating you to a pulp with either words or fists and feet (if you deserved it, of course), when he finally had enough of making you think you were winning.

Su Yeol envied it and was amazed by it. He must let the man know. As well as tell him to never let anyone or anything extinguish his fire; he should let no one at any time take any of this away from him.

The stranger at last sprinted down the stairs, took a big jump and planted his foot onto someone’s cheek.

╳

When talking about the stranger dressed in the average denim jeans and burgundy leather jacket to his colleagues who Su Yeol thought must have seen him too, he is always met with the same reply; “I haven’t seen him.”. Even when describing his every move, his every action, the look on his face and pointing towards the directions he had previously seen the stranger in, and hoping they would know in which direction he took off, still he was met with the same words; “No man like that exists.”. He wasn’t sure if by that phrase they meant to say that his man in particular didn’t exists or that no one like that exists.

Su Yeol walked towards his bathroom, leaning over the sink before splashing cold water on his face. He sighed as he rested his hands on either side of the hollowed oval of the sink on the bathroom countertop. Why did no one see this man, why does no one know where to find him?! Slowly he looked up at himself, meeting his own eyes in the mirror.

“You still don’t get it?” the denim and leather clothed stranger asked him in the mirror.

“Who are you?” Su Yeol asked the stranger’s face sharply. The stranger only laughed in his face.

“Someone like you deserves to be self-assured.”

Su Yeol tipped his head sideways in confusion as the he heard these words being said. The strangers face in the mirror mirrored Su Yeol’s movement. “What did you do to me?” he asked himself, his confusion changing to anger as the stranger in the mirror kept paralleling his movements.

In a few seconds time his expression went from confusion, to anger, back to confusion, to apprehension. Then finally, it seemed to click.

His hand shot up to his face, cupping his own cheek, then his chin. Touching his lips and tracing over his eyebrows. As he felt all of these touches on his body, in the mirror he saw his hand tracing those parts of that stranger.

“Now do you see who I am?”

╳

Su Yeol lay in bed as he thought back about his therapy sessions. It had taken a while for the idea of this stranger being him to settle in his mind. How could that be? How did that happen? Why did it happen? What was the reason? How does it work? Su Yeol had so many questions and needed to find the answers.

“After going through a traumatic incident, people start talking nonsense and seeing things. You start to confuse the timeline, think you saw someone when you didn’t and it feels as if you’ve experienced something that you never did. That happens. You just need to get a lot of sleep and rest. Doctor’s order, okay?”

Then the session and events he had just came home from.. It had been as hectic of a day as they come.

Ryu Su Yeol had woken up from his hypnotism session to his psychiatrist sleeping with his head tilted over the backrest of his chair. He was snoring open-mouthed.

“Are you sleep?!” He had asked stunned. After waking him up with a few pats in the tight, an argument ensued.

“So, what happened during the hypnosis?” Su Yeol’d asked.

“Not much, you kept resisting.”

“Do you think I came here to sleep next to you?!”

“That’s exactly what I want to say to you!” the psychiatrist had replied.

“Why did I have a nightmare?” Su Yeol wanted to know.

“Your alter, I mean the stranger..” the psychiatrist started, “Do you know his name?”

“Was I supposed to ask his name? I have never spoken to him before.” Su Yeol had said. “’Hello, how do you do? What is your name? Oh and by the way, I have a man crush on you because you’re extraordinary in every way?’ something like that?” he was infuriated and the psychiatrists words irked him

The psychiatrist had sighed and put his arms up in defense, “Alright, please calm down. You see, alternate personalities want to be acknowledged too. You should speak to him and you need to address him by his name instead of the stranger. He is part of you.”

The conversation seemed to have gone to normal and understanding, like they’d arrived on the same page but nothing was what it seems. Suddenly Su Yeol had hit the foot-stool and jumped up. “I am stressed out to the max right now!”

Getting on Su Yeol’s eye level, the psychiatrist had cried out, “I told you that you need to calm down!”

“How can I calm down right now with this exceptional stranger in my life?!”

The psychiatrist had exclaimed in frustration, “Gosh, seriously! He is not a stranger, he is you!’ he walked towards his desk and took a bottle of medicine out. “Alright, here.” he’d said as he held out the medicine, this session had been too much for him.

Truth be told; the nickname of ‘the stranger’ had never been to discredit the stranger’s feelings or existence, because to Su Yeol, he did exist. He showed up as a fascinating stranger at first, which is where he earned his nickname. Then when no one else had even seen the man, it only made his being a stranger more concrete. He had been a stranger, but he slowly morphed into his stranger. His stranger and unknown part of himself.

Su Yeol had taken the bottle from the psychiatrist, then the psychiatrist explained, “This is strong stuff, take one at the time and we’ll see how it goes.” Su Yeol had opened the bottle and inspected the pills cynically.

“You should also learn how to control your thoughts. It’s very important. This is what I want you to do, watch me.” The psychiatrist skipped up and down in place before he connected his right pinky finger to his left thumb. He focused his gaze on the fingers where they connected and had said “He is me, I don’t need his advice on confidence and fierceness, this stranger isn’t real!”

Su Yeol looked at him as if he wasn’t the client at this moment but the psychiatrist instead.

“Do you really want me to do this?” He'd asked with a raised eyebrow, in shock yet amused at the same time.

“I’m serious right now.” The psychiatrist started, “This is what I want you to try. Let’s do it one more time.”

Su Yeol sighed and looked the other way in disbelieve. Hearing the psychiatrist’s feet hitting the floor in his skips, he looked back over and after a second, he jumped along with him.

Their fingers connected in front of their chests, right pinky finger to left thumb. “This stranger isn’t real. He is me, I don’t need his advice!” they chanted in sync.

“He is me; I don’t want to be him, I am him, this stranger isn’t real!”

After the session, thankfully leaving the psychiatrist on good and calm terms, Su Yeol had stopped for a red light and waited with his head in his hands, sighing and trying to make sense of it all. He looked at the traffic in front of him when something or someone, rather, caught his attention.

At his car’s passenger stood the stranger, smiling brightly and waving happily at him inside the car. Su Yeol looked at the scene in confusion and terror.

When the passenger had reached for the door handle to open the door, he’d found it locked. “Open the door!” he told him through the window. He’d only heard the stranger’s voice in his bathroom before, it only dawned on him now that even the tone of his voice showed his confidence.

Su Yeol, with his latest session still fresh in his mind, let his thoughts trail; “Do you know his name?” - “I have never spoken to him before.” “You should speak to him and you need to address him by his name instead of the stranger. He is part of you.”

He snapped out of it.. Speak? To this stranger? Right now? Oh no, not right now; he was too nervous and stressed, he had reached for the bottle with medicine, opened it and put one pill into he mouth. He chewed it once or twice before he swallowed it dry, all through this, the stranger was still calling for him to open the door. He connected his pinky finger and thumb and chanted, “This stranger isn’t real; he is me. I don’t need his advice!”

Having closed his eyes during his chant, he had now opened them, looked in front of him and then snapped his head towards the spot the stranger had been in. Only to find him... not there anymore.

Su Yeol’s mouth made a perfect ‘o’ in childlike wonder, his eyebrows raising up and he eyes and nose crinkled together in a grin.

It wasn’t that much later when he’d gone out to pump gas. When getting back into his car, he'd found the stranger sitting in the passenger seat. Su Yeol jumped back out exclaiming a ‘Jeez! My goodness!’ before he had even completely sat down.

“Hey.” the stranger had told him. “No, no! Don’t take that!” he’d cried out when Su Yeol was taking another pill, followed by repeating his chant again. He had opened one eye before the other as he peaked into the car; indeed the stranger had disappeared again.

Su Yeol flipped the bottle in his hand and looked at it with a smile on his face. He was in power here and it made him feel great. It made him wonder if this is what the stranger felt like all the time. The fact that this power Su Yeol was experiencing came from running away from his fear of talking to the stranger didn’t cross his mind.

When he finally arrived home, he took a quick shower before he found himself in bed, replaying these events. Su Yeol shifted in his bed, soft and small moans escaping his lips ready for sleep to take over.

He was meant to make the stranger disappear completely, at least, that’s what the psychiatrist had hinted towards, but what if he truly didn’t want to? He had only just figured out the stranger was part of himself and he didn’t want him to go, not before he’d even had the chance to properly get to know him and his motives to live his life like he was. He wanted to be able to control him better, to be able to speak to him and ask him for help when he needed him. To be able to not be scared and in awe of him all the time. He’d tried the medicine and chant once of twice and yes; it had been out of fear, but it had given him some useful knowledge; like if he needed for the stranger to not be present, he could make that happen.

Suddenly he felt the presence of another body on his own. An arm wrapped around his waist and the weight of a head on his. “Hey, you.”

Su Yeol jumped up in shock as he’d just started to dose off to sleep. In his doziness, he reached for his medicine, then after freezing he dropped the bottle, deciding this was the perfect time for that conversation. If not now, then when?

“Hey, you.” he parroted as he pointed at the stranger. “Who are you? What is your name?” he stuttered a little bit. This was his first deliberate conversation with the stranger after all.

“Me?” the stranger asked, rolling over onto his side on the bed, his hand popped up to support his head. “Why do you ask?” He added suggestively.

“Your name.. what is your name?” Su Yeol pressed.

“K.” the stranger said rather quickly, his face falling down in.. diffidence? Everything that stranger had once looked like to Su Yeol went completely out the window. Right here, right now, he looked a shy, reserved and timid introvert. The complete opposite of the confident extrovert he’d grown to be fond of. But he liked this side too, he decided; it made him more human somehow.

“Gay? I wasn’t-- I didn’t-- I’m not..” Su Yeol stuttered.

“My name is K, you silly. As in King. And I am you.”

It took quite a few minutes for Su Yeol to come back to his senses. This had been his first few shared sentences in conversation with the stranger, well, K as in King, himself. This morning he’d never thought about making conversation with him ever and when the psychiatrist told him it was a good idea to speak to him, he’d thought him to be insane and in need of therapy himself. Yet, now he’s had that first official introduction he’s glad he, after making him disappear in anxiety a few times first, finally had the guts to talk to the stranger.

A while later, they found themselves sitting cross legged on the bed, facing each other and having a honest conversation until the early hours of the morning.

“I’ve never seen someone as cool and confident as you. The broadness of your shoulders and the fact your back is always straight.. confident in your ability to face anything anyone could throw at you and be alright through the struggle of it. I am the complete opposite of you but I wish I could be like that too.”

K shot him a knowing look, one eyebrow and the same corner of his mouth pulled up in a sly smirk as to challenge him.

“I envy you, K. You amaze me. Your fire within is astounding, don’t let anyone douse your light.”

“Su Yeol, listen to me.” K started. “You are all of what you think I am. Everything you’re saying to me, say that to yourself. And believe it. I am K but I am you.”

“You should also learn how to control your thoughts. It’s very important. This is what I want you to do, watch me.” The psychiatrist skipped up and down in place before he connected his right pinky finger to his left thumb. He focused on the fingers connected and said “He is me, I don’t need his advice on confidence and fierceness, this stranger isn’t real!”

The sudden flashback stunned Su Yeol. “No!” he cried out at the words of his psychiatrist in the flashback. “He is K and I need him.” he said into the room.

Su Yeol and K were still settled on his bed, facing one another, sharing stories and feelings.

“No.” he repeated as he looked at K. “I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay.”

“Me?”

Not really answering K’s question, Su yeol continued; “It will only be you and I. Just the two of us.”

K, confused yet amused, looked around, then looked at him again. He pointed his finger from Su Yeol to himself. “Just the two of us?” he asked, ending and accentuating the statement in his question by holding two fingers up.

“We can trust each other.”

K looked down with that same diffidence he had shown when he’d told Su Yeol his name. He looked like the shy, reserved and timid introvert again. He giggled into his hands before he raised his eyes up to look at Su Yeol, only that made him turn away in shyness again.

More than all of that though, K looked happy and happy to be loved and love in return. Finally, K held his hand out for him to shake, a deal, an understanding, a challenge.

Su Yeol looked K in the eyes, his eyebrow was raised, his lips curled into a smile, like he was testing and challenging K. He didn’t take K’s hand just yet.

K looked back into Su Yeol’s eyes, his expression mimicking Su Yeol’s in some sort; he was testing and challenging in return. He gave a single nod, apparently providing the encouragement and final push Su Yeol needed.

Their hands met, closing their deal. The world froze around them as their hands were folded together, eyes locked, one smile igniting the other, growing bigger and bigger until they were both showing each other the biggest grins they’ve ever grinned.

Will he have to explain this to his therapist? Maybe, probably. But he will deal with that challenge when it comes. It had been a long time since he had felt this at ease and relaxed and happy, even. K was right here and he will help him every step of the way in whatever way he needs it. Because after all; He is Su Yeol’s hero, Su Yeol’s action star, Su Yeol’s K. And no one else’s.

╳

Whenever there was a need for Su Yeol to be confidently in charge, K found himself taking center stage, handling whatever was in front of him boldly. He often volunteered to stand up for Su Yeol, walking past him as he leaned against the door frame, turning back to give him a pat on the shoulder and tell him “I’ll take care of this quickly.”

Today however, was slightly different.

Su Yeol was on a mission and ran towards his car, only to realize he was unable to get in because the two cars next to him were parked too closely to his own car.

Still, he opened one door and tried in vain to get his butt inside. “I can’t believe this!” he exclaimed, accentuating his annoyance by hitting the roof of the car.

“Are you looking for me?” K asked as he rolled up on his motorcycle.

“Get out. Get out of the seat. Get out! Move!” Su Yeol called out, grabbing hold of his helmet and trying to pull it off. Nearly breaking K’s jaw as he tried to do so, because silly Su Yeol had forgotten about the strap holding the helmet in place.

“Take it off!” Su Yeol roared before hitting the top of the helmet twice.

“The strap, the strap!” K told Su Yeol. Then finally Su Yeol loosened the strap and took the helmet off his head before placing it on its own and taking off on his mission with K on the back.

It hadn’t been much, but to K this was Su Yeol consciously needing and utilizing the existence and presence of K, even if in this situation is was for something as small as a ride. This was a big change from K always being the one to instigate.

There had been this other instance and even though it was triggered by someone else’s words of ‘come to your senses!’, Su Yeol had placed his hand onto K’s shoulder to hold him back and get his attention as he was already set on taking care of it for Su Yeol. He confidently told K “I will take it from here.”

K had looked confused for a split second, before he smiled in pride.

Su Yeol had towered over the monster in front of him, slaying him with his harsh and accurate words. It was only when he got talked back to and down on, that he realized in some cases someone needs a serious beating.

“Shut up! You know, the one who threw a kick at you before.. that wasn’t really me.”, ignoring the ‘what?’ as an answer to that, Su Yeol continued: “But this time, it is me, you asshole.” K looked at the scene in pride.

He had noticed all these small changes and it made him feel proud at what Su Yeol was achieving. He knew for sure, that after having spoken so much and with so much passion and admiration about this stranger before, no one would ever believe Su Yeol himself was turning into that fierce bad-ass.

╳

Old habits die hard, Su Yeol hates that saying because it’s true.

Some days more than others, he needed K’s help, despite being fully capable himself. He still needed K in some situations, his excuses being not wanting to keep the fight from K knowing how much he liked the physical stuff, or thinking he was too scared to do so himself.

Of course, K would always try to encourage him to take it on instead, even though sometimes that stimulation wasn’t given by uplifting words or pats on the back..

Su Yeol had looked slightly lost not knowing where K was currently. Suddenly though, K walked into his vision from behind his back. “Hey you! You... “ He addressed K. “Where have you been?! I went up there alone and..” Su Yeol was pointing and gesturing at K frantically, his face clearly showing frustration.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He interrupted.

“What?” Su Yeol’s mouth was frozen open, his eyes blown wide in shock and resentment.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” K repeated.

“Where, where?” Su Yeol wanted to know.

“Right by your side.”

Su Yeol continued to look at him, his expression never changing.

“Look at you, Su Yeol. You can handle these things pretty well on your own now.”

Su Yeol’s face showed 10 different emotions in one. Fright, disorientation, sadness. K slapped his upper arm lovingly. He eventually sighed in relief; he had never been alone, K’s had been here the whole time.

On good days, K felt him getting more confident by the hour, making him realize he really was slowly become more like that stranger he’d so envied and idolized, but sometimes still, he was shocked, lost and scared before, during and after the fact, seeking K for reassurance in those moments especially. He always knew exactly was he needed in every and all situations. Sometimes that was a helping hand in throwing punches and sometimes that was that same helping hand only now pushing him forwards on his own. Other times, it was that arm wrapped around him in a comforting hug or a word of ‘”You can do it!” or “You did great, I am proud of you!’ but his favorite times of all; a silly playdate at the playground together to blow of some steam.

These ‘bad days’, if we can call them that, were coming less frequent, where before every other day had been a bad day, these days they were few and far between. But that didn’t keep them from having fun and enjoying each other’s presence nevertheless; if anything they had those moments more often because on those good days, it was them against the world.

Today, a completely new sign of Su Yeol’s confidence and cheekiness had appeared and it reached an all time new high(or low), that had left K completely speechless. They didn't like visiting the psychiatrist and they didn't really anymore, but they weren't here for a session today; they needed the psychiatrist's help.

“Hey! Put that down!” he had yelled, startling K. In his initial confusion, K had looked behind him to see if there had been someone there that Su Yeol had been addressing but no, he was addressing K who had only been quietly standing there for support, observing the scene.

“No, don’t! Put that down at once! If you hit him with it, he will die!”

It had completely caught K off guard, he had never been this confused in his life. K lifted his empty hands up, he wasn’t holding anything and he definitely didn’t plan on hitting anyone, had Su Yeol gone crazy?

“Su Yeol, have you lost your mind?”

“Hey, I said don’t do it. Calm down.” He ignored K’s question.

He addressed the therapist, “You know what he’s like when he loses it..”

The therapist was just as confused and stared for a second. “I’m telling you, he’s dead serious right now.” Su Yeol said. Turning back to K, he continued, “Hey, no! Don’t.. don’t.”

K had never in his life been this confused and stunned. Even offended. The stranger who had radiated that fierce, untamed and powerful strength; like he could face anything in the world and be alright through all of it, that cool bad-ass, the one who knew people knew that he knew that you knew he wouldn’t take your bullshit yet he’d let you try just for the sake of seeing you struggle only to break you down when he finally had enough of making you think you were winning, that very same guy had just been made to feel the smallest person in the world and the very reason for it was none other that Ryu Su Yeol himself.

Gosh, he would have had a hard time admiring this stunt in that exact moment, but hours later he had bought Su Yeol a cake to celebrate this absurdly bold move and congratulate him on having the courage. They’d have a good laugh about this for years to come.

Some would have considered Su Yeol’s action manipulation and maybe that was exactly what it was but in a eat-or-be-eaten world you need to stand your ground and take care of yourself and what you believe is right because others won’t do it for you. If people don’t listen to what you have to say and what you’re pleading for, then you need to make them listen and take you seriously instead. Even if that means throwing your own split personality under the bus.

Su Yeol will admit this wasn’t the moment in his life he was the most proud of but when you can rely on yourself and your ability to get shit done for more than one hundred percent, there is nothing to fear or doubt. Not even whether you could win the fight.

“No man like that exists.” K couldn’t help but laugh when the quote resurfaced in his subconsciousness. Did they really not believe K existed or that a man like him could exist? He does, he would, he is right here. Su Yeol is right here.

╳

Su Yeol and K took their time in getting to know each other, in the meantime also slowly getting used to on another. Sometimes they would sit in bed talking until the sun rose again. Other times learning about each other's triggers or small joys in life happened accidentally because a person or situation they came across that sparked something (good or bad) inside them, they always talked, supported and comforted each other afterwards. Even sometimes teasing the other, if they thought that would fit the situation, yet there were times when it hadn’t been appropriate at all and in that case, they apologized and learned something new again.

Of course they’ve had their ups and downs along the way, as was to be expected.

Occasionally K would piss Su Yeol off, like that time idiot K had more attention for a cat than for helping Su Yeol, he did however find time to boss Su Yeol around, never stopping with giving the cat pets and kisses. Or the time where K had kidnapped him onto the back of his motorcycle and managed to drive through indoor malls and around busy highways. Su Yeol had screamed and shouted and saw he life flash by before his eyes. Especially so when K had lifted his front wheel in a wheelie, making him get that much closer to the concrete street below them. Of course K never listened to his sobs of “Stop!” and “Watch out!”, how he survived this kidnapping is still a mystery to him. And that time K’d shown up to a fight one sprint for his life, one shove, one punch to the gut and grocery store shelf crush too late. Why did K need to do his workout when Su Yeol was trying to work if he was just gonna show up late anyway?

K’s own favorite memory of annoying and pissing Su Yeol off was when they were hiding in the back of a van. It had been hot and their bodies were pushed together in a small space, they were exhausted and got bored of the situation real quick. K’s everything had pissed Su Yeol off that day, from leaning on him, to breathing, to taking his jeans off because he was hot, to drinking water (an entire bottle of it indeed, in hindsight, that might been a bit overkill..), to looking down over his shoulder as he was peeing making a comment about him being an adult. K’s entire existence had been too much for Su Yeol that day. And K enjoyed every second of it. It was at those times that Su Yeol had questioned his decision to want to keep K around.

Similarly, Su Yeol could make K’s blood boil with frustration, like when he managed to neglect a task at work what K thought could bring people in danger. Or when Su Yeol thought he could keep secrets from K; he should know better, sooner rather than later K would find out, making him jump his back as he pulled him into a headlock, even when choking Su Yeol would try to continue his lies. And that time Su Yeol was stubbornly set on finding out about his past, the past that was hidden in K’s half of Su Yeol. K was there for a reason.

Most of all it would have been Su Yeol’s talking rudely to the woman in his life that earned him slaps to the back of the head from K. Because K was a lot of things, but he wasn’t rude to women. Or elderly people and kids for that matter.

They had gotten into physical fights together a lot, too. The reasons differed from K being pissed at Su Yeol, or vice versa or just because they pleased to and the fights had more pros that you’d think. The biggest being fight practice where Su Yeol would get a chance to work on his technique, learn how to place a punch or kick best while at the same time learning how to take it. It also meant they could get their feelings and emotions out without having to speak about them. Throwing and taking a punch to the cheek or gut and even rolling around on the ground or being shoved into a wall while dodging punches and kicks in the meantime was sometimes more relaxing than opening your heart and being vulnerable.

They enjoyed fighting together as much as they loved to talk, ride on a bicycle or being on a seesaw. They found out that their (mostly) daily run had become more enjoyable too, for one of them, at least, with one of them usually irking the other to make them chase them. It turned out to be a good and effective way to get their exercise in.

Everything they did was part of their bonding as well as their bond, it was their way to show the other they liked and appreciated each other.

Su Yeol and K only needed one look to know what the other needed or wanted. They were both able to give the other encouragement or support, a word or action they desired, at whatever time they needed it, often not even having to ask or mention what the reason was because of course they already knew.

It was when they cuddled in a very manly manner in bed at night when they had looked back on everything that happened to them. Su Yeol was on his back with his arms folded on his chest, K next to him slightly on his side with one arm placed on his shoulder.

“I was so mesmerized by you when I first saw you. You seemed to be everything that I was not.” Su Yeol confessed. “Did I ever tell you how confused I was when I looked in the mirror and touched my face? I felt my touch yet saw myself touching your face in the mirror.”

After a while he continued. “I was scared to talk to you at first, you know. That’s why I took the pills those times.” he tilted his head to look at K’s face. He eyes were focused on Su Yeol’s lips as the words left his mouth. “We’ve had some fun times while we tried to figure out and make sense of how to be two in one, didn’t we?” he asked, yet didn’t wait for a reply. “We used to go from Su Yeol to K, back to Su Yeol back to K a lot. I counted once, we switched 25 times that day. “ K was immersed in Su Yeol’s voice and memories. Su Yeol exclaimed, “Gha, and all those therapy session to try and get rid of you.. I’m glad we stopped therapy. You’re here for a reason, why should I get rid of you?”

They lay in silence for a long while, before Su Yeol broke it. “Out of all out moments together, when was the most fucked up moment?”

K’s head shot up to look up at Su Yeol. “When was it?” when he didn’t reply in an instant he nudged his shoulder. “When? Tell me.”

“The fire.”

K winced at the memory. “It was burning hot.” he mumbled under his breath.

“Jumping out the window.” K cringed and whimpered as he relived the fall.

“That time at the psychiatrist where I used your existence to get stuff done.” K’s face mimicked the expression he had had at the time, utter confusion mixed with shock and offense. Su Yeol looked over, “I’m still sorry about that.”

Su Yeol’s suddenly face broke into a smile as he put up a finger as another memory just came to mind. “Ahhh.. and getting beaten up by you all the time.”

Su Yeol whined at the memories this time while K burst into laughter as he slapped Su Yeol's shoulder repeatedly. Quickly his whines turned into laughter too. “My gosh, yes. I beat you up every chance I had.” K replied with a chuckle.

His smile dropped before he looked back up at Su Yeol. “Why are you reminiscing about our memories?”

“Because whenever I think about those moments..” Su Yeol started, “I feel like I can do anything.”

Neither of them could remember when the last moment was where it had only been Ryu Yu Seol, the last moment where K hadn’t been present 24/7. In the beginning it had been Su Yeol or K, now it is Su Yeol and K. To them, at least. One body, two minds. Yet those two minds morphed into one overtime. It was like having a twin inside his head, somehow. Day in day out; they worked together like an oiled machine. They needed one look and within a second they’d get to kicking, punching and body slamming whoever it was that needed a beating. Their favorite trick had became grabbing hold of the belt-loops on either side of some hips, before lifting the body up and chucking it over their shoulder. Fighting for them had turned into a choreographed dance.

It was never K solving things for Su Yeol, or Su Yeol taking advantage of K’s strength anymore. It was them; alongside each other, working together instead of one at the time. Su Yeol and K against the world through chaos as it swirls.

K never roamed more than 10 meters away from Su Yeol, just like he never wandered too far from K.

They found their comfort in each other and knowing the other was always there through whatever the universe threw at them. Often they had cried, laughed and brainstormed together, always being there for one another. They teased each other, they annoyed each other, they liked each other and loved each other. They beat people up together, played tricks on each other, rode bikes, fought, visited playgrounds..

When they lay together in bed half cuddled up; Su Yeol on his back with his arms folded on his chest, K next to him slightly on his side with one arm placed on his shoulder. Time stood still as they laughed.

He is Su Yeol’s K. No one else’s. And he liked him.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

A/N: *exhale*

I hope this made sense and wasn't too chaotic and/or lame or just plain too much of everything.

Please let me know what you think; any and all feedback is welcome!

If there's a prompt or idea in your head that you'd like to see written(Gong Yoo and/or Lee Dong Wook characters related), feel free to message or comment! If it tingles my imagination I will see what I can do!

I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you for your time.

#Bad and Crazy fanfiction #Ryu Su Yeol x K #Ryu Su Yeol #K

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