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#absolutely rancid fucking vibes tonight lads
basementbotanist
·
2 years
Text
awake at 4am taking photos of my boyfriend while he sleeps and making a nightcore playlist to show everyone who follows me on spotify just how well im doing mentally
#on the bright side
#i opened up to a friend about my assault and she was v lovely and reminded me that not all trauma is processed immediately
#i love her so much fr she's such an angel
#still dealing with a lot of shit but it's getting easier ig???
#hope i never meet that rat bastard ever again i might go feral
#kicking and screaming and biting
#mixed feelings tbh because on some level i still totally blame myself because i shouldn't have been so silly and get addicted to alcohol!!!
#then if i wasnt drunk
#he wouldn't have fucked me while i was blackout
#and told me to get the morning after pill the next day!!!!
#dreadful dreadful times
#absolutely rancid fucking vibes tonight lads
#cant believe ive sunk so low as to vent in my the tags of a goddamn tumblr post because im too scared to actually let go and rant
#because i dont want to accidentally say the freaks name infront of any of my friends who are still pals w him
#im totally still blocking it out on some level
#because if i refuse to name him it's still abstract and if it's abstract i dont need to face it
#and if i dont face it then i stay safe:)
#anyway goodnight i guess
#found a nightcore version of cancer by mcr that slaps real hard
#deranged
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