#absolutely obsessed with the gremlin laugh

[96crewlove]

[whatafuckinnerd]

I find it unfathomable and astounding that Tumblr isn't more obsessed with Sam Reich. You're telling me there exists out there a man who was born into the aristocracy of our country—with every privilege of modern society at his fingertips—who didn't complete high school (due to his mental health) and instead chose to devote his life to making strangers laugh and raising awareness on mental health. A full-bearded short king who is so committed to being the change he wants to see in the world that he decided to take the company he worked for into his own hands so that he could make sure all the people who worked under him could keep their livelihoods.

How many other CEOs are out here being as honest and transparent with their target audience/market as Sam Reich is? How many of them acknowledge when they fumble and continuously strive to be better than they were? How many of them actually seem like they respect their talent, both in the cast and crew? Sam Reich is the standard we should be holding other CEOs to.

But forget about all that (I could talk for a long time about the respect I have for Sam Reich)—ignore just how respectable he is as a businessman and a person. Ignore all the wholesome reasons for obsessing over Sam Dalton Reich.

The man is a stone-cold fox.

He's a little chaos gremlin and an absolute evil mastermind all rolled into one classy suit and well-groomed beard. Whenever Sam is on the set, you can guarantee he is going to make you crack a smile. And for someone with such natural authority, he's never afraid to be the butt of a joke and show himself being embarrassed. Go ahead, watch any clip of him trying to improvise in No Laugh Newsroom and just try to resist that blush.

You're sleeping on a goldmine of a man, here, damnit! And I will NOT let this go ignored any longer!

[buntanteen]

boyfriend!jeonghan headcanons (sfw & nsfw)

summary: hannie as a boyfriend (romantic and sexual partner) towards reader headcanons :) can be read separately or as a part of upcoming the poly!jihan hcs

contains: 18+ nsfw (mdni!!) reader is on the receiving end of penetration.

✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩

you'll never know which boyfriend!jeonghan you're going to get😌the silly goofy sulky one? the completely love struck one who will do anything for you? the absolute tease? a silly gremlin? a sulky clingy guy?

you having a pet rock too (so doljjong isn’t lonely kjfgbdk). you make sure to send boyfriend!jeonghan pics of your kids together when he’s away!! they always feature in the pictures of your at home breakfasts and dinners~ if you can’t bring them with you, you make sure to do a ridiculous photoshop of them in the setting, just to make hannie laugh 🥰

to boyfriend!jeonghan, you will always be "yeobo" and "jagiya" (i can just hear him elongating the yaaaaaa). what even is your real name?🤷 he doesn’t know anymore

during aftercare, soft dom!jeonghan will be praising you and calling you “angel”. he becomes more and more convinced that you’re an angel

teaser!jeonghan loving to bite you. he’ll nip at your neck and soothes the pain over with his tongue. he’ll give lil kisses to the fully formed hickeys littered across your neck, chest and thighs  

boyfriend!jeonghan being completely enamoured when you’re playful with him. he’ll be tracing around your lips and when u nip at his fingers. he does that jeonghan "ah!" of his and starts sulking, you apologise by giving a kiss to his finger, his palm, his wrist and trail up to his face…he'll be melting hehe

it is a must 😤to give boyfriend!jeonghan lil pecks on his cheeks when he does that closed eyes content smile of his. he’ll always giving you the gentlest kisses on the cheek back

cockwarming teaser!jeonghan is one of his favourite activities with you. cuz he gets to be close to you??? and have you wrapped around him?? and gets to do what he wants whilst making u whine?? sign him up 😌😌

when he’s cold, boyfriend!jeonghan will link your arms with his and hold hands. the moment he hits you with one of his 🥺, you’ll shove your intertwined hands into your jacket pocket where a prepared heat packet lays to keep both your fingers from freezing

on the other hand, boyfriend!jeonghan put his cold ass hands or feet on you <3 he just loves to hear your whine and sulk and pout~

soft dom!jeonghan who gets worn out easily, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to make his baby to feel so so good. makes you ride his cock to pleasure yourself, guiding your hips with his hands. he loves this the most because the visual off you getting off because of him is insane (and partially cuz he wants u to work for it…)

our little mastermind boyfriend!jeonghan will cheat when playing games with you. but will cheat FOR you when y’all are playing with others. he has pushed the other members over, tickled them, distracted them, bribed them and yoinked away their controllers so you win first place in mario cart 😌

boyfriend!jeonghan who pinches and pats your butt before sliding his hand in your back pocket. looks innocently and giggles at your :| face

teaser!jeonghan loves loves loves to tease you. loves slapping his hard cock against your hole and rubbing it against it…the reactions you give are so addicting

boyfriend!jeonghan having an obsession with your thighs. when you're sitting side by side, he’ll swing your legs over onto his lap and playing with your thighs. just absent minded running his hands up and down your legs whilst scrolling on his phone

loves listening to your pretty noises while teaser!jeonghan has your legs spread apart and a vibrator against you. wants you whining and writhing for as long as he can 🥰

finding boyfriend!jeonghan’s ability to adapt to situations and still get his desired outcome so fucking hot. he’ll notice you nearly drooling when you’re visiting the gose set and wink at you

driving home after filming and teasing teaser!jeonghan grinding against his hand but not letting him have his gaze on you? absolute torture for him.  telling him “eyes on the road, baby. don’t you want to get home faster? 🥺”

boyfriend!jeonghan who'll pull away from a kiss and intentionally move away more to see you move closer to his lips. likes to see how far he can move back before you catch on. “you want me that much, huh?” “nvm :/” “WAIT NO”

boyfriend!jeonghan who is your island when times get rough. he is the constant waterfall that lulls into a slow-paced stream. he is your place of solitude and safety

ames' songs recs: boyfriend by yeonjun, raise y_our glass by huh yunjin, the astronaut by jin, love me back by fromis_9, to you by seventeen, our summer by txt, just one day by bts, love maze by bts, love me twice by huh yunjin & luv in skool by bts

ames note: hi everyoneee, it has been a while!! i wanted to get this done sooner but decided to release it on hannie's enlistment day as a distraction from the feelingsss. he'll come home safely and soon!! the time flies by super quickly~ <3 take care of yourselves, we have so much to look forward to ^^

this was originally going to be my first time writing something...ever but the fwb!mingyu one came out first hah. then the cockwarming dilf!mingyu... then the joshua boyfriend headcanons... i remember trying to write smth for loki over 5 years ago so its lowkey (HAH) full circle that i wrote about svt's loki. i hope y'all enjoyed~ i'll be working on a jeonghan fic rec list before the jihan poly headcanon comes out!! <3 ς(.-‿-)

author note: do not distribute my work on other platforms without my consent. if you see my writing in places other than this tumblr account, please let me know. my writings are purely fictional fantasises for fun. the people i write about are real human beings and should still be treated as such. please do not take my writings seriously or as truth.

[ayumip]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭…

streamer!scaramouche x streamer!reader; modern au

word count: 0.6k

scaramouche and you were famous streamers, and decided to hop onto the “hear me out” cake trend. *gone wrong?* *not clickbait!*

“scara! let’s do this trend!” you called out to him, showing him a video of a couple doing the hear me out cake trend.

“hell no.” he scowled, going back to his game.

“please~”

“no”

“why not! you’re not fun…” you retorted, rolling your eyes.

however, under your persistent persuasion, he reluctantly agreed to do it on stream with you, under the condition that he wouldn’t need to prepare any crazy hear me outs, which of course, you thought it was boring, but whatever!

setting up the camera on your kitchen counter, you greet your chat:

"hi chat! i'm joined with scara today. say hi!" you ushered him, which he reluctantly gave a monotone greeting.

"oh, what's the cake for? we're doing a hear me out cake!" you replied, looking over at the chat, which is going miles per hour as you usually don't do collab streams...well, scara's the exception.

"anyways, lets begin!"

the both of you prepared your sticks, with your respective hear me outs stuck on them. "ill go first! so first, i have omen from valorant, which i think is pretty self explanatory...the girlies that get me, get me" you said, showing the camera before you put it down on the cake. scaramouche gave you a side eye, before retorting with:

"the only thing hot about him is his voice"

"does that mean you admit he's hot-"

"shut up! okay me next." he cut you off with a scoff, which you just giggled at.

"um..." he fiddled around with his sticks in his hand "i have you" he said as he showed the camera, the chat filling with "lmfaos" and "no ways" as he stuck the stick into the cake

"that's just me! why am i a hear me out!" you exclaimed, which he replied with a smirk

"no one can handle you; you're a gremlin"

"but you still love me"

"...its your turn just go!" he said bashfully, looking away from the camera with a slight blush on his cheeks

"okay fine- next i have nico from rio..."

"thats a bird!"

"and?"

"you're weird..." he mumbled, giving you a faux look of disgust.

suddenly, a comment from chat caught your eye: "nico lowkey looks like scara"

"...no because yeah kind of" you mumbled, conversing with chat about how scara resembles nico. scaramouche, looking from afar, was just admiring your animated expressions, your pondering face (which he thought was absolutely adorable, but he would rather die than to admit to your face), and your soft laughs until he was snapped out of his thoughts with you urging him to go next.

"next i have...you, but when you're sleeping"

"...why is it all just me- and besides, when did you even get that photo of me! i look horrendous!"

"exactly why that's a hear me out" he mumbled under his breath.

"hey!" you huffed out, as he let out a small laugh. you looked over at the sticks he prepared, realising most of them are just you, but doing different things, you let out an exasperated sigh.

"you really are obsessed with me aren't you" you giggled.

the both of you continued populating the cake with different characters from different cartoons, game, and actors. before you knew it, you only had one more hear me out left.

"okay...don't get mad at me or anything" you warned

"who can be worse than gill. the fish." he rolled his eyes playfully, slightly amused at who on earth your last hear me out was.

biting back your laughter, you showed the camera and chat who your last hear me out was:

"the last one i have is...um...dottore"

"..." when it finally hit scaramouche who you put on the cake, his mouth was agape; he was shook.

"...that's my UNCLE?"

authors note: i think you guys know which reel i based this on but like lowkey i didnt know what i was writing throughout this whole fic LMFAO i didn't expect it to be this dialogue heavy

[gabessquishytum]

Ive been lurking for a long time just eating other peoples ideas but i cant get over sleazy pickup artist hob having this religious pussy experience from this weird goth he met at a bar just standing there silently like a mannequin. I would love it if dream was only this unearthly beauty to HOB. Literally NOBODY ELSE gets why this crying wet cat bewitched him body and soul... hob is a total conman on the internet manosphere bc he looks like Alpha Male and he just says some bullshit he makes up on the fly and starts pyramid schemes. He stumbles out of that hookup dazed and confused but feeling like he needs to buy a ring and perhaps commission a golden statue. Hes Different after. Like his accounts drop off activity for a good long while as he tries so desperately to find this Weird Fucking Guy hes not quite sure was human at this point and when people start noticing what hes doing hes an absolute laughing stock but hes too busy pulling all nighters red strings on the corkboard to care hes like an obsessed mad scientist in a monster movie. He goes to that bar EVERY NIGHT. For 100 days. Then his magnificent stranger walks back in and orders a glass of milk at the bar and hob is ready to simp for the rest of his fucking LIFE. Morpheus is this guys Actual Name and hob realizes he could have just like,, looked him up online if he believed morpheus when he told him the next morning then left while hob was in the shower. But dream shares that he doesn't have social media. Or a computer. Or a phone. He pulls out this ancient flip phone held together with scotch tape and willpower so hob can enter his number. He types with one index finger on hobs screen to enter his own. Hob is gifted his presence for another night of insane sex where he almost dies like twice and comes more times in a row than he has in his life. Dream is completely unaffected by literally any media attention and No One Gets The Appeal. Hes like a cryptid and everyone knows who HOB is seemingly BUT dream and he really doesnt care about any of the questions he gets. Usually just responds with some shit like "you could be learning a new hobby right now. Try oil painting, perhaps the clarinet." Its not even beer goggles bc hob is following after this freak like a puppy in the middle of the afternoon wearing all black and a long jacket in August while he picks out the specific peanuts from a big barrel he would like to feed the birds at the park today.

-🔪

Yeah I absolutely love the idea that Dream is a weird skinny gremlin to EVERYONE. Except for Hob. Hob thinks he's an angel, a beautiful ethereal creature, Dream has literally saved Hob’s soul from the torments of cringey redpill internet content. Hob walks around with heart eyes 24/7, basically waits on Dream hand and foot. He doesn't give a shit if he gets ripped on online - he doesn't go online anymore, he's way too busy staring at the way the light filters into Dream’s eyes.

He's so down bad for Dream’s pussy it's almost comedic. He'll get on his knees and bed to be allowed just a sniff, just a moment with his nose between Dream’s legs. He'd buy Dream’s bath water but he's so lucky he doesn't even have to!!! He gets it for free!!!

All this to say: they're both freaks, no body gets why they're Like That but true love finds a way!

[rayshippouuchiha]

YEET AU Possible Considerations:

Izuku taking to gymnastics, parkour and the bō staff so he can find ways to move just so he can go up and up higher on his own or whenever his totally conned into being a big brother is busy.

Shouta grilling Tensei on if this is supposed to be normal little brother behavior or his the gremlin is Just Like That. Kids obsess, don’t they? And then they grow out of it, right?

Izuku unlocking Float and Blackwhip earlier because of his love of the YEET? He sees Uraraka and Sero and there is such a longing. Nana and Banjō just give it to him, crumbling like one does before the Flying Bunny Puppy Eyes.

1.) Oh Izuku absolutely takes to doing all three not only because of his love of being yote but also because Shouta does actually support his dream of being a hero and was like "yeah kid if that's what you want you're gonna have to put The Work In"

2.) Shouta confronts Tensei about Little Brother Facts and Tensei just laughs himself out the room and refuses to give him a real answer

3.) Nana and Banjo give into Izuku not only because of The Eyes(TM) but because they too wanna see the chaos it'll spawn

[shroomiethefrogwhisperer]

People like my fuckin alien shit

So here. Have a list of all my characters.

Karen: Ship's mechanic. Human (American-Indian). Fun, snarky, mom vibes, dabbles in illegal drug dealing. She/Her, heterosexual. Has a brown bob with a side undercut, blue eyes, and dark tanned skin, lots of tattoos (including Rainbow Dash). She's like 36.

Steve: Comms Expert. Human (Korean-Japanese). Chill, easygoing, likes video games and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, can and will beat your ass at fortnite. He/Him, gay. Has short black hair, dark brown eyes, pale skin, and a few piercings. He's in his early twenties.

Moss: Translator. Human (Hispanic). Chaotic, sarcastic, an absolute gremlin, has a pet ratbird (keeps trying to domesticate the entire ratbird infestation that lives in the pipes). They/It, pansexual polyamorous. Has curly, bright green/pink hair, blue eyes, and slightly tanned skin. They're twenty-nine.

Zzgnaru. Ship's Captain. Alien (Nobletsk). Tired parent vibes, serious, literal, bad at nuance, loves plushies. Xey/xem, aroace. Brown/black scales, 6 yellow eyes, white horns, spiky tail, pink claws. Xey're 52.

Amethyst: Navigator. Alien (Penaconian). Sweet, happy, literally a ball of sunshine, everyone's sweetheart cutie who also has anxiety. Obsessed with anime (Moss showed him JJK and AoT, and now he's into KnY, MHA, and, like, Helluva Boss.) He/they, demiromantic bisexual. Short blonde hair with purple highlights, hazel eyes, pale skin. He's 32.

Banana: First Mate. Alien (Zzbrk). Comedic, silly, madly in love with Moss (BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET), completely unserious like Captain Jack Sparrow unserious. She/fae, poly, omnisexual. Yellow/brown scales, vitiligo skin, golden eyes, shaved head, white spikes. She's 43.

Douri: Weapons Operater #1. Alien (Aaki). Depressed as shit, loose cannon-type shit, can and will eat your tacos. It/Its, asexual panromantic. Basically just a humanoid blob of orange slime. No one knows its age.

Josh: 2nd Mate. Human (American). Kind of a psycho, hilarious, autistic, likes sharks. And things that look like sharks. Josh's boyfriend. He/Him, bisexual. Black dreadlocks, umber skin, dark eyes. He's also in his twenties.

Rhïianae: Weapons operator #2. Alien (Jawa). Collects random shit and makes guns out of them. Has severe adhd. Can never finish a project (took apart a secondary engine about a year ago and it's still disassembled). ??? skin, orange eyes, ??? Hair. Fae/Faun/It, demisexual polyamorous. Faun's in its mid-thirties.

Calixtian: Ship's Doctor. Alien (Penaconian). Likes doing experiments on beings of lesser sentience (or heck, same level-sentience, he doesn't care), mad scientist-esque, no one likes him. Blue-green hair, orange eyes, vitiligo skin. He/Him, aromantic. He's 46.

Nøræxx: Interplanetary criminal. Alien (Asgardian). Wanted for weapons smuggling and illegal mercenary work. Is the cavalry reserved for when Douri and Rhïinae are out, is the bodyguard. Dark hair, green eyes, tanned skin. She/He/They, cupioromantic asexual. 500+ years old.

Bastier. Comms student. Human (British). Clueless, cute, easily confused, has OCD, likes cats. Speaks 8 interplanetary languages (not including Earth languages, which he speaks at least twenty of). Blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes. He/Him, heterosexual (bicurious). 19 years old.

The Ship. "Steroid Annihilator". Modified Class 8 Torigrian K-Wing Destroyer. Got its name when Zzgnaru, Karen, Douri, and Steve successfully piloted it through the Inter-Galaxian Asteroid Fields. Zzgnaru wanted to name it Ssjuokimbl (Conqueror of Rocks), but Steve suggested Asteroid Annihilator instead, and when they got it painted on the side, the artist doing the paint job spelled it wrong. Karen couldn't stop laughing for days.

Note: Steve is a Chill Gay™️, and Josh is a Chaotic Gay™️.

[myszalowska]

Today we were talking about Slipknot with my drum teacher and he said that Eloy (their new drummer) plays as if the drum kit owes him money, and this remark amused me so much that I can't stop thinking about it.

And since my current hyperfixation is The Bad Batch, here you go...

The Bad Batch behind the kit

Omega is a little metalhead, this is the only reason she picked on drumming classes. She wants to play Spiritbox, but Tech said that he won't let her approach the drum kit before she memorises all the rudiments. She knows how to sit right, but sometimes intentionally hunches just to see Tech's reaction. It never fails to make her laugh. Both of them, actually.

Tech won't play anything before he memorises all of the existing rudiments and his practice pad turns to ash. He is obsessed with polyrhythms, and I can't blame him for that, because they're damn cool (so is he). He has a perfect posture and a Swiss-watch sense of rhythm, but plays without visible passion. He enjoys playing Queen. It's classical, it's complicated and it sounds great. What else one might need?

Wrecker is here only to learn 'Break my Heart' by Dua Lipa and be done with drums forever. He's that type of newbie whose posture behind the kit is similar to a gremlin's and his teacher just can't get him to sit properly.

Crosshair's posture isn't great, but his sense of rhythm is more accurate than the bloody metronome and he's absolutely crushing it (especially the poor drum kit). Have you ever heard the saying "Stille Wasser sind tief"? Well, that's about him. The drum kit is the only place where he feels safe letting his inner self out. The first song he learned was Don't Get Close by Slipknot and he's still into heavy music. He has a very energetic style and... a very deadpan face.

Hunter doesn't even play drums, he just took a sit because his spine is killing him. And yes, he's a typical guitar dad. Sometimes Omega asks him to play "Take Me On" instead of a lullaby. He doesn't even like this song, but there's nothing he won't do for Omega, especially when she gives him that extremely sad puppy eyes look.

And Echo... Let's just say that he isn't good friends with drums. And metronome. And musical theory. He enjoys listening to other people playing, he may even hum along, but don't you even try to get him to play something, unless you want him to trauma-dump about terrible experience he had at music school.

edit: I made a silly pic for this post

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Ghosts And Cold Turkey Is A Bad Mix

@darthfrodophantom @datawyrms @kalifa100 @lovelyunknown @nat-space-obsessed @duchi-nesten

Jazz has a boyfriend. Jazz has a boyfriend who has NOT met her family. Jazz has a boyfriend who has not met her family and knows absolutely NOTHING about her families career path. Jazz has a boyfriend who was about to have A Bad Time. Danny, Elle, and Dan were going to make sure of that in every way remotely possible… short of world ending calamity.

Alright, so Jazz probably should have actually talked to Bassel about her family, preferably before he had decided that he absolutely had to finally met her family. It was spring break so she couldn’t exactly push it off till later, or long enough to explain anything really, so he was officially going in ‘cold turkey’. Had she mentioned that her family was weird? Of course, that was unavoidable. But she’s fairly certain he thought that ‘weird’ meant being really into fishing or made crochet baby dolls, not everything ghosts. And now that they’re on the road she’s fairly certain that telling the driver that ghosts are ‘the family business’ is a bad idea; it would not be good if he were to drive off of the road in shock.

Bassel chuckling, “so am I going to get regaled with stories about weird birds they’ve seen bird watching or the last obscure B list bird horror flic?”.

Jazz laughing awkwardly, “you have not idea. No idea at all…”.

Unfortunately Jazz was unaware of one simple fact, it wasn’t just her and her plus one who was coming to visit for the break….

Jack beams as a clawed hand crams itself through the seam in the Fenton Ghost Portal™, turning his head to the stairs, “Danny! Your kid’s are here!”.

“AWESOME! WE’RE MAKING COOKIES TO PACIFY THE GREMLIN! SEND ‘EM UP!”.

Sweet! Cookies! Yum. Jack turning back to the portal as the doors slam open loudly and threateningly, Jack chuckling to himself, that man was always such a drama queen. Watching the tall full ghost step through the now open portal, a little sister sitting perched on his shoulders. The little missy waving wildly at her grandpa, “hiyya gramps!”.

The flaming-haired full ghost scoffing, “Yeah yeah, whatever”.

Jack grinning and jumping up, moving to hug the two, the elder of the two stiffening and just ‘putting up with’ the hugging, “glad you kiddos could make it!”, ruffling the littler one’s hair, “there’s cookies”.

“Hell yeah!”, and she’s off like a rocket, flying up the stairs.

Jack eyes the full ghost, “beat any other ghosts down lately?”.

The man snorts, “obviously. Not that any of them were much of a fight”, grinning meanly, all fang, “the gorffens were deliciously squishie though”. Jack laughing as the two large men head upstairs.

Danny’s grinning his head off watching Elle devouring at least fifth-teen ghost-shaped cookies. Waving at Dan as he comes up behind Jack, “there’s pure ecto-cookies too, Mr. Can’t Eat Mortal Realm Food”. The full ghost scowls and flips him off but absolutely takes a couple of the overly green person-shaped cookies. Ha. The human cookies were ghost shaped and the ghost cookies were human shaped.

“Whatever, mom”.

Danny absolutely scowls at that, chucking a cookie at the ghost. While Maddie hums, eyeing them all, “Jazz will be coming by too”.

“Oh? When?”

“Any moment now, I believe”.

“I am in pj’s!”.

Dan snorts, “you look like a dumbass no matter what you’re wearing”. That gets him immediately blasted in the face with a small ecto-beam, the ghost only grinning viscously in response; Danny zipping up through the ceiling to get changed. Mom seriously couldn’t have told him sooner? Gosh! He had a new ugly ass sweater with a stupid ghost joke on it to show off!

The knots in Jazz’s stomach could kill her if they became ghosts right about now, as Bassel pulls them up into her drive way. He nearly rams into the house actually, having been staring at the ops centre on the roof, “uh, okay, spaceship on the roof is slightly more out there than I was expecting?”, looking to her, “and do they run their business from their house? Hence the sign?”.

Jazz laughs awkwardly, “they have permits for it… that they got after building it”.

He shrugs, “I can admire the guts”, and patting her on the shoulder, “and stop being so nervous, I’m a great guy! I’m sure they’ll love me. Plus you’ve said they’re pretty easy to please”.

“Oh I’m not worried about their reaction to you, rather your reaction to them. I have mentioned they’re weird right? And that my dad’s taller than ninety-one percent of the human population?”.

“… you did not mention the height, damn that’s impressive, he’s the one with the personality of a puppy, right?”.

She gives him a supportive back pat before they get out and head to the front door, “yes, and thank everything for that. His hugs are crushing though”.

“I bet”.

The door pops open without her having to knock, meaning Danny’s up, “sup Jazz and- oh shit, you brought company. Fuck. Two seconds”, and slams the door in her face.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow, “what? Is he still in pj’s or something? That was a really ugly sweater. Pink? and green? Together? Ew”, chuckling a little, “and did it say ‘boo’ onto others as you would have others ‘boo’ unto you? Why was there an image of a ghost aggressively holding out a loaf of garlic bread?”.

She snorts, even if she’s honestly confused, “oh no, he always makes sure to wear something really unpleasant to look at when he knows I’m visiting. I believe it’s born from a sick, though harmless, degree of sadism”, frowning, “though I’m not sure why he just rudely slammed the door in our faces”.

And then she hears the cackle, the loud deep malicious cackle, officially realising that she… might have fucked up. Just a little bit. Sighing and facepalming, “oh no”. The couple standing there as seemingly a shouting match goes on inside.

“GET CHANGED YOU DIPSHIT!”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MOM!”.

“I WILL END YOU!”.

“GO AHEAD AND TRY!”.

“Are they gonna want these cookies or?”.

“DON’T YOU DARE! Yes, gumdrop, leave them some. HEY DROP THAT! DROP THAT NOW!”… “EW!”.

“HA!”.

“DAN!-”.

Then the door jerks open very aggressively, and Jazz and Bassel stare up at the giant of a man with too sharp eyes and a feral unkind grin, “so you bagged someone, eh? Need someone to beat him through the wringer?”, and moves to grab Bassel’s arm; who thankfully has the common sense to pull away while staring almost disturbed at the man.

Jazz grabbing Dan’s wrist and holding him, glaring at the semi-reformed mass murderer/genocidal, parricidal, infanticidal, amicicidal, omnicidal, deicidal, ecocidal, mundicidal, psychopath. “Don’t even think about, Dan”.

“Aw but Jazzy-”.

She points a finger in his face, “no. Bad. No trying to physically fight my boyfriend”.

Then Dan’s head gets yanked back, Danny grasping the man’s ponytail, “get back in here, you shit”. The door closing again.

Jazz turns and winces at Bassel’s freaked out expression, “alright so, I didn’t know Dan was going to be here. I would have absolutely said no, if I’d known that”.

“Should I be worried?”; he looked extremely worried.

Jazz grimacing, “he’s… on parole, for, well, for murder so, yes”, grabbing Bassel’s wrist, “well we’re here now, just, don’t go anywhere with him alone. He’s also a prankster”.

Bassel almost squawking, “Murder?!?!”, as she drags him through the threshold into the Fenton household.

They get smacked with the noise immediately, she still doesn’t get how her parents managed to make a semi-sound barrier for inside the house that worked even when doors or windows were open… even if it didn’t always work well with ghosts or half ghosts. Danny is ramming cookies into Dan’s face while standing on his shoulders and snarling, Dan attempting to yank him off. Elle is bouncing around on all fours playing with cujo, who’s vibrating with excitement literally. Dad is laughing, head on the table, and slamming a fist on it repeatedly; a chair falls over. And Mom’s set the stove on fire and is smacking it leisurely with that fire-proof ghost net; the Fenton Flamo-Containo she thinks.

Jazz rolling up her sleeves, sighing, and moving over to her mom, “what did you burn, mom?”; and starts properly smothering the flames… the flames have faces and eyeballs.

This was a mistake. This entire trip was a mistake. Her poor boyfriend.

Bassel blinks, gives himself a fortifying shake, and swallows, “hi? Um, I’m Bassel?”.

The smallest one is on him in a second, it’s freaky. Her chirping up at him, “why did you say that like a question? Are you a question? If I question you will you become a sentient question mark?”.

What? Her eyes are way too big and her skin is smooth. It’s… very strange. Then she’s being picked up by the smaller boy- the teenager, that he didn’t even hear approach. “Elle-”. That was strangely chastising to hear from a teen. “-no giving people existential crises”.

“Are question edible?”.

The teen quirks an eyebrow, “I mean probably? if you write them on a piece of paper?”.

“If I write them on apples and pelt doctors with them do you think they’ll anwser my questions without poking me?”

“Eh fuck it, give it a go. Tell me if it works”. Then the teen looks up to Bassel, “sup, I’m Danny, the little brother”.

Bassel nods awkwardly, this kid… was seriously off. His skin was too smooth too, eyes not right and dangerous, his hair seemed… darker than black. The hell is he looking at? “Uh. Bassel? I already said that though. Um, I’m guessing the girls the youngest sibling?”.

She pops out around Danny’s leg, “I’m the granddaughter actually”. Danny snorting, “grand-gremlin is more like it”. She bites the teen… does she have fangs???

Bassel blinks harshly, pointing at the… murderer, “his kid? I take it?”. And now that he’s looking, what the hell is up with how similar they all look???

Dan barks out a laugh, shaking his face off like a dog so hard pieces of green? cookie physically stab into the walls and cupboards, “that shit stain is moms kid, not mine! Holy shit!”.

Danny snapping his head to Dan and pointing aggressively at him, “you”, shrugging and changing tones so fast Bassel nearly gets whiplash, “would have absolute nightmare kids and I would cry if your dumbass is the one to make a grandpa of me. Fuck you”.

Bassel is… very confused.

Mrs. Fenton shouting, “and I don’t want to be a great-grandma! Thank you very much!”, and coming over, Jazz looking to be scowling down at the stove, “hello, I’m doctor Maddie Fenton, feel free to just call me Maddie though”, swatting him on the arm, “none of that Mrs. or Dr. stuff”.

Danny pouting at her, “hey, why does Val still have to call you Mrs then?”.

“Because you two are still teens mister”.

The teen only pouts more…. His eyes look far too glass-like, like he’s a doll. Bassel kind of wants to be no where near him. Eyeing Jazz’s mom, the… hazmat is extremely concerning, maybe he should have asked more about what her parents did for a living? or their hobbies? “You have a doctorate?”.

The woman grinning, “that’s right! Primarily in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science. but also criminology and medical science. My husband, Jack has doctorates in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science as well, public health, chemistry, and practical theology”, turning away to eye Jazz, “the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.

“For the millionth time, mom, I’m still not studying ecto-ology; spectral psychology is completely different and that isn’t even my primary field of study”.

Bassel blinks, okay he knew she said her parents were smart but damn. But… ecto-ology? Really? A pseudoscience? Taking that in conjunction with practical theology made some sense, many religions believed in sprits after all, but with medical degrees? With actual scientific degrees? He’d thought Jazz’s spectral psych was a bit odd, especially with the rumours she talked to ghosts which he brushed off, but at least it made sense since she wanted to be a therapist. Many people can use religion and the belief in spirits to help heal after all. “Ecto-ology huh? As your primary? Interesting choice”.

Then Jazz’s dad is on him in an instant, not inhumanely like Danny had been but to see someone so massive move so fast was jarring, “oh! Did Jazzypants not tell you!”, slapping a hand to his chest proudly, “the Fenton’s are a family of ghost hunters!”.

What.

Maddie eyes her daughter, “Jazz”. While Dan out right cackles evilly and Danny wheezes, hands on his knees, “Jazz you dumbass!”.

Bassel blinks harshly, “ghost… hunters?”, o-kay that was… a lot weirder than he expected. Her parents believed… in ghosts and claimed to ‘hunt’ them. No wonder his girlfriend wanted to study psychology, her parents were delusional.

Jazz can tell that her boyfriend absolutely thinks her parents are insane now. Danny eyeing the guy before wheezing more tells her he’s noticed too, walking over to her and patting her on the arm, “he doesn’t believe in ghosts, does he”.

She sighs, “I… don’t think so”.

“HA!”. Oh Dan was just eating this up.

Elle running over with cujo, holding the pup up at Bassel’s face, he looks like he barely resists recoiling, “pet the ghost pup and believe”.

“Why is he green?”.

“Because he’s dead! Dummy!”.

“What”. Then cujo is in his arms, his face is horrified, but he does cautiously pat cujo’s belly. Him stiffening and staring as the dog floats up and starts walking on the ceiling; Elle giggling.

Danny slinking over to the guy while Maddie tries to swat the dog off the ceiling, “yeah, welcome to Amity, famously the most haunted city in the world. And yes, your girlfriend’s parents are the leading ghost scientist of the entire world and sell ghost weapons to the government and general public”, doing jazz hands, “surprise!”.

Bassel hasn’t even made it past the entry way, Jazz feels like an ass for letting him go into this blind. Her shoving Danny away, “don’t be mean”, eyeing Bassel, who’s wide-eyed, “yeah sorry? I did tell you they were weird”.

Bassel eyes Dan standing on the table to pin a fucking green floating dog to the ceiling. Maddie’s holding a strange taser, that has green electricity, threatening the dog; Danny’s dangling off of her arm shrieking about leaving his pup alone and how if anyone’s going to get tased it should be him. Looking back to Jazz, “by weird you mean insane? I’d question the ghosts thing but there’s a floating green dog on the ceiling. Hell, I’m almost questioning my own sanity”.

Jack laughs, rubbing his neck, “oh yeah! We get that a lot! But hey! People stop calling you crazy once they get attacked by a talking five foot tall hornet or a town gets sucked into another dimension!”.

Jazz huffing, “you guys just will not let me live down that stupid hornet, will you”.

Danny shouting, “technically it was a shapeshifting old man! Not a hornet!”, as he runs out of the room with cujo in tow.

Maddie following with the taser, “Danny! he needs to be punished when he does that!”.

“No! Never! Kiss my dead ass!”.

Bassel blinking, “your… brother swears a lot, and wait did he claim to be Dan’s mom? What? I’m sitting down”.

Jazz wincing, “don’t sit on the orange chair, it screams sometimes”. He squeaks an ‘okay’ and sits on the purple couch rubbing his temples; Jazz plopping down beside him.

Dan shouting, “Is anyone gonna eat the ecto-wienies!?!”, from the kitchen.

Jazz scowling to herself before shouting back, “Dan don’t! I dont want Bassel passing out!”.

“That’s the point!”.

She throws her hands up dramatically in fur-station, at least her dad rushes off to stop Dan from consuming screaming hot dogs while their guest adjusts to his new reality.

Bassel groaning, “and why would I pass out?”.

… “They scream too. It’s… pretty freaky to see someone eating squirming screaming hotdogs if you’re not prepared for it”.

“And why do your parents have hotdogs that do that and how even?”.

Jazz shakes her head, “they might have studied clinical laboratory science but they absolutely do not practice good lab safety or sample safety. Things get contaminated accidentally a lot”.

“And that… makes hotdogs able to move and scream?”.

“That about sums it up, yeah”.

“What the actual fuck, babe”.

Then Dan pops over, arms crossed, “thanks Jazz, now gramps has confiscated all my food”.

Jazz pointing at him as he flops down on the same couch as them hard enough to make the couch bounce, “good and could you sit down any harder?”.

“I was aiming to knock you two love birds off”.

“Zone you are such a jerk”.

“I aim to displease”.

Bassel makes an aggressive motion with his hands, not looking at either of them, “okay what the fuck. First how did that not break the couch? Two how is a teen boy mom? And what is wrong with this town and house?”.

Dan snorts and Jazz knows she’s going to hate what comes out his mouth, him eyeing her, “should I tell him there’s a portal to the afterlife in the basement, or should you?”. She slaps him immediately, wincing from the definite sprained wrist she just gave herself; stupid full ghost jerk. He sticks his tongue out at her and she wants to slap him again; at least his tongue isn't forked at the moment.

Jack pops back in carrying Elle by the waist, her arms and legs dangling down as she giggles, “you good, Jazzy?”.

Dan chuckling, “no. She regrets not warning a certain someone”, putting a hand to his chest, “I fully support that fucking chaotic choice”.

Jazz scowling, “you just enjoy seeing people suffer”.

“Hey, if I’m not allowed to kill folks anymore I gotta get my kicks somewhere? Or would you rather I start skinning animals and leaving their flesh hanging from trees?”. Dan gets bashed off the couch by a baseball bat wielding Danny. “Ow! Seriously mom?”.

“Threaten to skin animals for the lols again and I’ll sic Sam on you”.

Dan puts his hands up, “I’ll pass, you kill joy”.

“Good”.

Bassel gags and makes a face at Jazz, gesturing his hands at Dan as Danny smacks him with the baseball bat again, “what”.

“He’s… got a twisted sense of humour?”.

“Not that!”, Bassel shaking his head, “well yes that, what is wrong with that man. But I mean the mom thing?”.

Jazz eyeballs the full ghost, “Dan���s a tough subject, let’s just say a lot of really nasty things happened to him and at least one psychotic break. And he calls Danny ‘mom’ mostly to annoy him”.

“Oh that’s a lot less weird-”.

“Danny kinda is his mom though”.

Basel groans.

Elle pops her head over the couch, somehow escaping Jack’s grasp, “Danny’s uncle is a mad scientist who has no issue dabbling in super evil human experimentation, Dan and me were tots made from Danny via fucked up science and suffering! Hooray for causing mass confusion!”.

Bassel glancing from the small girl to his girlfriend, “seriously?”.

Jazz sighing, “yeah, sorry. Technically that man’s mine and Danny’s god father, not uncle, but Danny likes to bug the man. Vlad… needs so much therapy”.

Danny shouting, “at least he’s got a cat now! Even if he did name her after mom”; while Dan snags the baseball bat and pops Danny on the head with it. Danny bites the baseball bat.

Bassel shakes his head, “so you weren’t kidding about being somewhat related to one of the richest men on the planet, and he’s basically a crazy super villain; great”.

Jack rubs his neck, “unfortunately yeah, I kinda blew up a proto-portal in his face and he didn’t take that well”.

Jazz puts her hands on her hips, leaning forwards a little, “dad, you guys didn’t visit him in hospital even once, for seven years. Of course he didn’t take that well”.

Danny popping out from behind Jack, “he still complains about that, by the by. I dumped get well soon cards on him last time he was whining about it. Asked him if that made up for it, he shouted no and shot me in the foot”.

Jazz shaking her head, “I still don’t get how you two ever get along”.

“Hey, arch enemies gotta have some bonding time sometimes. Plus, he’s got the good liquor and will absolutely try to bribe me with expensive gifts”.

“And I keep telling you that’s unhealthy and you’re only encouraging him”.

Dan chuckling, “let him, who knows, maybe I’ll get another gremlin sibling”.

Basically everyone, even Bassel, shouting, “NO!”.

Maddie getting back towards the kitchen, and bring out what remains of the ghost-shaped cookies, “cookie?”, offering them to Bassel.

… “are they going to start screaming?”.

Maddie blushing immediately, Jazz covering her mouth and laughing, “no. No. Only things that were once alive tend to do that. Baked goods are fine”, eyeing the cookies, “and they’re not green so they’re safe for human consumption”.

He takes a cookie and munches it very cautiously, “and the green ones?”.

Jazz grimacing, “definitely not safe for human consumption”.

Elle nodding, still behind the couch, “those are for us Phantom’s”. Meaning that now Jazz knows Bassel’s basically going to have to deal with finding out her brother and said brothers kids are all varying degrees of dead.

Bassel eyeing the small child, “do I even want to know?”.

Elle gives a cheery, “nope!”.

Oh okay, maybe her, and thusly Bassel, can dodge that whole situation. Jazz absolutely glares daggers at Dan to say nothing. The man grins evilly but remains silent, thank zone for that.

Bassel taking a breath and slapping his legs before standing up, “okay. Alright. You lot are stranger than I expected but I really like Jazz so I’ll deal”.

Maddie looks relieved but Jack booms, “awesome! You seem like a good guy!”, and smacks Bassel so hard on the back that he gets smacked into the floor and knocked out. Dan’s bending over wheeze laughing, Elle’s floated up into the air curled up and laughing, Danny’s run over to try and help the man while also laughing, and Jazz is shaking a finger at her dad angrily.

Maddie sighs, face in a hand, “Jack”; while Danny’s hoisting Bassel up and back onto the couch, smacking his cheeks to get him to come ‘round.

When Bassel comes to he nearly screams, that Danny boy’s face is inches from his own and he’s crouched on Bassel’s chest. How much did this kid weigh??? And damn were his eyes still extremely creepy. At least he’s clued in what was wrong with him, he was uncanny, like he wasn’t quite human but close enough that it was very wrong in that base instinctual way. The teen grins, it’s like his teeth don’t fit in his mouth and the smile is just a hair too wide. “Cool, you’re awake. Was starting to wonder. Dad smacked you into the floor by accident, if you don’t brace yourself when he goes in for back pats then you’ll wind up on the floor”, titling his head owlishly, “lesson learned?”.

Bassel nodding at the kid that hasn’t moved his face out of Bassel’s, “um, yeah?”, frowning, “your guy’s dad is freakishly strong, you know that?”. The boy just shrugs before hopping off Bassel’s chest, letting him sit up and rub his head a little. “Do your parents always wear the hazmats?”.

Danny chuckles, “yup, and they will still claim they are stylish”, rolling his wrist, “they try to get me and Jazz in ‘em all the time. But hey, I’ll stick to wearing that kinda bullshit when I’m dead”.

Jazz’s head pops out of the kitchen entryway, “oh good, you’re up. You up for pie? There’s eight for some reason”.

“Are… they all the same kind?”.

“Sadly, yes”.

Even he can admit that was sad, variety was nice. But Danny pouts at her, “hey, I’m not about to discourage my personal wannabe poacher just because he doesn’t have a single creative bone in his entire metal mecha suit”. What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? This kid was probably one of the most confusing people Bassel’s ever met, Elle being a close second.

“You could at least try to convince him to try lime cream instead of him shoving lemon cream at you three times a year”.

Bassel holds up a hand, “how old are these pies?”. His girlfriend blinks like that hadn’t even crossed her mind… she might be too used to this level of strange perhaps.

Danny waving him off, “oh I helped him find a solid anniversary gift for his girlfriend, which fine was extremely explosive but eh, so he went a little pie happy. They’re two days old”.

“Oh alright, I’ll have some then”; two days wasn’t even weird. That many pies was odd and how he got them was bizarre, but not as bad as a dog walking on the ceiling or Dan-the-psycho talking about skinning animals like it was funny. Him and Danny joining everyone in the kitchen proper finally. The stove is charred from top to bottom, fires were clearly common. The fridge… was glowing? The toaster looks like it’s definitely some kind of project and not safe to use at all. The table is clean at least, besides the cookie crumbs and excessive amount of pies.

Said pie is extremely good, like professional good. Bassel blinking at it, “damn that’s good”.

Danny chirping, like actually chirping, “I know right?”; how does a human mouth make that sound???

“Then why isn’t… Dan eating any?”; maybe evil or not…

Dan flips Bassel off, grabs a slice and proceeds to hurl it at him; Bassel barely ducking in time while Jazz, Maddie, and Danny all shout, ‘NO!’. Elle is giggling though and Bassel would bet money that’s encouraging the man. Danny smashes an entire pie right in Dan’s face in retaliation, Elle smashing a slice on Danny’s head; it just devolves into a full on pie food fight from there.

Jazz crouch walking to avoid splatter while Maddie shoos the three outside with a broom, Jack following while shouting about getting the hose. Jazz putting a hand on his arm, “you good”.

“What twenty something starts a food fight!”, shaking his head, “better than throwing a knife at me I guess”.

“He usually only throws knives at Danny”.

She said that like it was normal! And not at all disturbing or something to be worried about! “He actually throws knives at people!”.

She winces like she just now realised that wasn’t okay, “right. Don’t worry about it, he might make a lot of threats or do threatening stuff but he’s heavily against going back into solitary confinement”, her huffing, “which I still think was cruel, deprivation chambers are one hundred percent a form of torture and no one deserves that”.

“What kind of jail has a freaking deprivation chamber, oh my god”. No wonder that man seemed like he had the socialization skills of a very threatening murderous brick wall.

The two stand up and they can see the three ‘Phantom’s -he’s still confused on that one but too scared to ask- getting hosed off in the front yard by Maddie; Jack’s helping by physically holding Dan up in the air and laughing. What??? Bassel blinks, “no one should be able to lift that beast of a man up like that”.

And then there’s an explosion, Bassel jerking around and Jazz just turning causally to watch purple smoke leak out from what’s labeled as a lab door. Her grabbing him with a quick, “nope”, and dragging him outside.

“What was that?”.

“Don’t know, but I’m not taking the chance that whatever their latest project is is noxious”, then shouting at her mom, “mom! Something blew up in the lab and it’s leaking purple gas!”.

Bassel very strictly remembers her not long ago mentioning that her parents weren’t big on lab safety, noxious though? These people were completely nuts. His nice, level headed, kind, smart, cautious Jazz came from this??? Yes she could be a little neurotic, especially about food and sharps saftey which he absolutely understood now, and she was a little… spooky sometimes. But still! He still didn’t believe her hair was really that orange without her dying it, even if he’d never seen proof of her doing so. And she always had on some black tourmaline or turquoise that she claimed was ‘protection’, he just thought she was being a little spiritual, now it seemed more like this ghost thing.

Danny shakes his wet hair off like a feral dog, “that’s probably my lunch!”.

Jazz throwing her hands up, “why is it leaking purple gas!”. Bassel muttering, “I think it exploding is more concerning than that”. Jazz shaking her head at him, “Danny’s favourite local restaurant has highly explosive trade marked sauce”.

“What!?!”. How was that even legal?

Danny pointing a finger at Jazz’s face as he moves to head inside to… ‘rescue’ his food, “hey, you haven’t had real food till you’ve had a Mighty Meaty Mega Nasty Melt and Phantomized Fries”, shrugging, “and I was trying to make blackened ecto-wine infused bread, for sandwiches”.

Jazz makes a face at the boys retreating back, “ew”.

Bassel blinking, “did, did this restaurant really name a menu item ‘Nasty Melt’?”. He’s revising his previous opinion, this entire town was nuts; not just these people.

Elle, very wet, bounds over, “yup! It’s called the Nasty Burger, used to be Tasty burger but someone vandalized it and there was a vote to just keep the N”, grinning, “I think it’s funny, the sauce is to die for”.

Jazz cringing, “oh no not the death jokes, at least spare my boyfriend those, ugh”. The little girl sticks her tongue out and pouts a little before running back inside at the pies. Jazz going wide-eyed and following with a shout, “oh no you better not! Mom just got you cleaned up! You put that pie down missy!”.

Bassel cautiously sticking his head in, cautious of both fumes and pie, to stare at his girlfriend holding a literal child at gun point while the child menacingly holds a pie over her own head. “um, why are you threatening a child with a gun”.

She brushes him off like this isn’t messed up, “it’s fine, there’s no normal guns in this household”. What does that even mean? Ghost guns? Is that what this is? Is that why it’s slightly glowing green!

Then Dan scares the crap out of him, speaking up from directly behind him, “I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s a terrible shot anyway. She could put a gun directly against someone’s temple and still hit a cars side mirror instead”.

“I’ve gotten better!”.

“No you have not, you managed to shoot a fire hydrant and set it on fire last time; I was impressed”.

“Shut up, Dan”.

“No I don’t think I will”.

At least Danny, who somehow got behind Elle, takes the pie from the girl and wags a finger at her, “repeat chaos isn’t chaos, it’s a pattern”.

“What if I cut off one of my hands, put it in the pie, then smack her with it? Then it would be a pie high five, not a food fight”.

Danny blinks, “I’m stealing that idea for the next time the Lunch Lady throws flaming stoves at me”.

Bassel… Bassel is not questioning that. “Kid, your mind must be a very strange place”. Sure little kids always said odd stuff, things adults wouldn’t even dream of, but this was a special brand of odd.

Dan shoving his way past Bassel, nearly knocking the guy over and giving him some major hebejebes, to go pat Elle on the head in amusement. Maddie steadying him, “you okay? And at least she’s not as bad as Danny used to be”, crossing her arms and shaking her head, “he thought blackbird pie meant to actually find birds and bake a pie with them. It was incredibly disgusting, especially because he didn’t know how to use an oven yet so he maxed out its temp for three hours”.

Oh okay, so Danny was just like that too. What was that about apples and trees? “That… probably could have gone even worse”. The teen, then kid, could have burned the house down!

The woman grumbled, “at least he’s never sucked the house into the mirror dimension, unlike someone”, as she heads in to help Jazz, Danny, Dan, and Elle actually clean up the pie mess. Jack shouting, “I said I was sorry about that!”. Danny shouting back, “at least no one’s pulled a Technus and walked the house into the ocean!”; while Bassel is wondering how the heck the eldest Fenton heard his wife’s grumbling from the other side of the yard.

There was something seriously physically off with all these people. Including Jazz. He’s feeling very distinctly reminded of a lot of things he’s just sort of brushed off or thought nothing of about her before. He used to think a lot about how vibrant her eyes were, or that her teeth were a touch sharp; nothing like the ‘Phantom’s but still. She was amazing at lock picking and could handle ‘practice’ patients others couldn’t; even if she would also ‘force’ therapy on random people sometimes. And eyeing her parents, they’re the same. Intense eyes, oddly pale almost glassy skin, teeth that feel like they’re sharp but aren’t; it’s not uncanny the way those three ‘Phantom’s were, but it’s still odd.

Dan was the worst though, easily, when the man brushed past him it felt like being cornered by massive wolf or mountain lion. If Bassel had ran into that man randomly on the street there’s no way he’d think he was anything close to human. Danny and Elle at least seemed humanish, almost human; Dan just seemed like he was playing pretend.

Bassel shakes himself off before stepping back into the chaotic Fenton household, “am I going to get pie thrown at me again?”.

Danny looks at him, “nope”, then glares at Elle, “or someone’s losing her Switch privileges”; the girl gasps in horror.

See that? That was normal. Normal punishment, normal reaction to a punishment. Perfectly normal. … Then the girl threatens to ‘liquify herself in protest’; goodbye normal, it was nice while it lasted. Either way he moves to help clean up pie a little, speaking back up, “so your bread fine?”.

“It ate itself and imploded, so no”. What. The boy grins cheerily, right too many teeth, “which means it must have tasted good, meaning I’m on to something”.

“I? Guess?”. He’s honestly just trying not to stare at the teens teeth.

…

They somehow do actually make it to the living room to watch a movie. It actually is a weird B list bird horror flic, which feels too normal now and that frankly concerns him. He’s not sure he wants the get used to this level of insanity. He loves Jazz but he is fully intending to potentially never step foot in this building again after this. How was he going to survive here for a week??? Blinking, oh right, elbowing Jazz and whispering, “hey, all the luggage is still in the car right?”. Then Dan scares the crap outta him again, “don’t bother whispering, I can still hear you”. Jazz grabs a random round thing from the floor to smack the man with for that.

Jazz leaning against Bassel again, “the longer we leave it in the car the longer it’ll take to get contaminated or destroyed, I told you not to bring your expensive computer ‘just in case you had time’ for a reason”.

Considering the amount of mess and literal exploding/imploding -again, what???- bread, he could understand that sentiment; oh and the actual guns apparently just lying around. He is very glad he listened to her, that laptop was never setting an inch of its metal casing in this building. He winces, “yeah, thanks for that”. She pats him fondly.

Danny straightens out so fast that it aggressively startles Bassel. “Oh! Think I should invite Val?”, eyeing Jazz smugly, “since someone brought their little lover”.

Jazz scowls at him, “Danny, I think Basel having to put up with my very weird family including the two weirdest members, is more than enough without adding in your trigger happy girlfriend with serious anger management issues. Especially because I know for a fact she won’t agree to leave all her weapons at home”.

Danny looks offended, putting a hand to his chest and paying no mind to the bird-related massacre happening on screen, “I’ll have you know she doesn’t even sleep unarmed, she hasn’t been unarmed since she was fourteen”.

“Exactly”.

You know what? Bassel thinks that actually makes sense. Danny was too strange to date someone remotely normal. “I’m not even surprised, you’re a little too freaky to date someone who’s just, you know, an average person. So sure, date an aspiring cop or whatever”.

Danny snaps and finger guns at him, “think more like nanobot powered teenage ghost hunter with a jet sled”.

What. Bassel blinking, “so somehow you’re the more normal one in the relationship. This girl’s in therapy right”. Jazz actually laughs at that.

Danny screws up his face, “Ancients you sound like Jazz”, looking at her, “he sounds like you”, looking back to Bassel, “and eh, my personality has more sparkles and explosions”, tilting his head, “besides, how am I freaky, besides the gremlin energy and general chaos anyways”.

Dan snorting, “and the fact that you think dumpster chic is a good thing”.

“As if you don’t wear the same”.

“Excuse you, I lift all my clothing off of the finest of corpses”.

Bassel, and Danny for that matter, gag; Danny’s seems more mock dramatic gag though. Bassel shaking his head, “add in the fact that if someone told me you were actually a doll pretending to be human, I’d believe them”.

That gets him multiple odd looks, including from Jazz. No one bothers to pause the movie even though everyone’s attention is now on him as she quirks an eyebrow at him, “what do you mean by that? Sure my little brother can move too quietly or too quickly, and his still too skinny and pale, but I wouldn’t call him possibly inhuman looking”.

Danny points at his face, “I’m pretty sure if I looked legit freaky Dash would mock me relentlessly for it”.

Bassel is baffled, are these people just… used to him so much they don’t notice? And Dan’s just looking to the side snickering meanly, Bassel almost gets the feeling the man knows what he’s talking about. Bassel looking at each of them, “you’re telling me you guys don’t notice his skin looks like weirdly glassy play dough? Or his eyes are too big? That his teeth don’t fit in his face? He’s weighs less than a bag of potatoes!”. They all look very confused and turn to stare at Danny, who shrinks down a little awkwardly; Dan’s laughing is full on guffaws now, head tilted over the back of the chair that apparently sometimes screams. When Elle points at her own face and grins too wide, Bassel nods, “yes, you too. Less than, your uh, dad but still”, gesturing at everyone, “honestly all of you have hair that’s too strongly coloured, overly vibrant eyes, and no skin texture”, scratching his head, “I thought my girl just had a spot on skin care routine and impressive hair colouring technique that she refused to share”. Jazz fiddles with her orange hair a little, making him feel a little guilty. Bassel coughing, “not that I dislike that”. Dan barks out another loud laugh.

Jazz eventually hurling another random Bassel doesn’t know what at the man, “stop laughing! Us looking weird to normal people isn’t funny! You jerk!”.

Oh okay. So they don’t know. That was weird? Does no one in town comment on it? Does no one even notice it? Was everyone in this town that strange??? Or was everyone in town strange looking themselves?

Dan huffing another laugh, “oh it very much is! Especially because I already knew and did in fact tell you morons”, waving a hand around leisurely, “not my fault you shits thought I was just being an ass”. Bassel guesses it makes sense that the strangest and most startling looking -and feeling, frankly- one would be the one to notice.

Danny looks offended, “and how do you know this? The fuck Dan”.

The man scowls meanly, it’s very mocking, “oh I don’t know, maybe because I spent ten years travelling the globe randomly killing people? Maybe that’s it? I’m the only fucker here who’s done enough travelling to tell people find this face”, gesturing at his face and smirking, “alarming, and not just because I was usually either threatening to kill or trying to kill them”.

“What? you walked around with that face?”.

“Eh I got bored of the other one sometimes”.

Bassel is choosing to ignore part of this conversation, otherwise he’s not going to get over his girlfriend being related to what’s sounds like more ‘mass murderer’ than ‘single murderer’. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to know what is meant by the murderer having different ‘faces’. He doesn’t want to know if this man’s a real life leather face.

Elle pouts, “I travel a lot, no one tells me I look weird?”.

“Sis, you’re a kid, all little brats look fucking weird”.

The little girl giggles, earning a fond but very quick look from the large man. At least it seemed like he actually liked his family maybe.

Danny gestures at nothing and scowls at Dan, “Dan, you’re a six foot eleven wall of muscle with a face that’s default setting is evil smirk, of course people think you look scary!”.

“Oh people found me disturbing when I was wearing your skin too, mom”.

“Fuck you”.

Bassel forces himself not to ask how that’s even possible. ‘Wearing the skin’ of someone who still has their skin is impossible and not to mention the size difference, it wouldn’t fit; why is he even thinking about the logistics of this?!? Ew!

Jack scratches his head, “while I can’t say I see, I doubt you’re making stuff up”, looking at Maddie, “all the ecto you think?”.

The mother nods to herself, tapping her chin, “there’s not much else it could be, especially if our oddness is merely tamer versions of Danny’s and the grandkids”.

Bassel is lost, looking to Jazz and quirking an eyebrow. She cringes, “Danny has a very intense version of ecto-contamination”. She says that like it’s not extremely weird and concerning.

Danny chuckling, “if by that you mean I’m fucking half dead then yeah”.

Jazz swats him, “Danny! For zones sake!”.

“Hey!”, Danny sticks his arms out nearly smacking multiple people, “if I’m that freaky looking then there really isn’t a point, Jazz!”.

“I hate that you’re right!”, Jazz huffing while Bassel is officially realising that everyone just shouts at each other in this house, regardless of if they’re happy or mad or excited. Her turning to him, “my brother’s a bit dead”.

Bassel absolutely squawks at that, “what”. And then suddenly the kid’s glowing and his eyes are green, the actual hell? Elle leaning forward, sticking her tongue out and pointing at her face, also with green eyes and glowing. Bassel cautiously and slowly eyeing Dan, his eyes flash blood red and yup, glowing.

Okay. Alright. He’s in a room full of glowing people, what is he supposed to do with this? He officially thinks that anyone who has ever found out someone else wasn’t quite human in a movie was way too damn calm about it!

Jazz winces a little, she can tell her boyfriend has absolutely no idea how to react to his girlfriend's glowing family members, so she pats his shoulder, “is it weird? Yes. Am I glad my brother is only partially dead? Absolutely. Don’t worry about it?”.

He blinks owlishly at her, clearly freaked out, “it’s kinda hard not to worry about my sister having dead family members kicking around and her whole family including her being contaminated by ghost stuff enough to alter their appearances”.

Then Danny goes and opens his stupid mouth, holding up a still glowing finger, “technically, Dan’s the only one that’s totally dead. Me and Elle are still alive-ish”.

Bassel blinks again and asks something that Jazz really wishes he didn’t, “and why’s he the dead one?”, in a squeaky voice; the movie is absolutely long forgotten at this point.

Dan’s smirk is flat out evil and before anyone can stop him he responds, “oh only because I got my human shit torn out and disemboweled it. Ate half my uncle and flew off into the sunset”.

Bassel leans so far away he nearly falls off the couch, “what. The. Fuck”. While everyone else, even Elle, chastisingly shouts, “DAN FENTON!”, at the smirking full ghost. The tact on that jerk! The only tact he had was evil tact, that sought chaos and destruction!

“OoOooOOoOO, full name, I’m So HuRt. I’m So UtTeRlY aPoLoGeTiC. Truly”. The ass doesn’t mean a damn word of that and he wants them to know it. He smirks, “if we want to play that game I can just show him what I really look like”.

Danny standing up and pointing at Dan, “do that and I’m souping you”. Dan puts an offended hand to his chest and scowls deeply.

Bassel sputters, “I am never asking you people questions again, oh my god”.

Jazz can’t even blame him, even if she knows he eventually will ask more questions about, well, their everything. It was hard not to after all. She rubs his arm, “you really shouldn’t think about it too hard or worry, yes we’re used to it and know the admittedly weird science behind it”, cringing, “even if apparently only one of us was aware none of us looked normal”.

He blinks harshly, swallowing, “uh huh. You guys have a bathroom, right. Because I definitely need to decompress by staring into the mirror for a concerning length of time”.

Not good. Jazz wincing and getting up, “I’ll show you”, then pausing and eyeing Danny, “is the bathroom actually clean”.

Danny tilts his head and grimaces, also not good, “maybe don’t open the lower left cupboard”.

“Right”. Damn it, Danny. Pulling Bassel along as they head upstairs, “okay so listen to him and don’t get curious. He might have spilled something and not cleaned it so it’s gotten moldy. Or he shoved goddamn bandaging under there. Or there’s a ghost trapped in the cabinet”.

“I… kind of hate that I’m hoping it’s the first one”.

“Well considering it’s Danny, it’s probably the second. He gets injured a lot and has a non-existent biohazard safety mindset”, gesturing at the open bathroom, “anyway, here”.

… “is Danny why the shower floor looks bloodstained, wait never mind I don’t want to know”.

She gives him a supportive shoulder pat as he goes in and close the door almost hard. This… this has not gone well. At least he hasn’t ran out screaming? Yet anyways.

She heads back down stairs, pointing at Dan, “I’m blaming you, because it is your fault”, pointing at Danny, “and yours, because you somewhat made him”.

“Hey! He made himself!”.

“And he is you so my point still stands”.

“Jazz!”.

Jazz doesn’t really care that being reminded of that fact bothers her little brother, him and his off shoots have basically been terrorising her boyfriend. He should be bothered! “I am gonna be so mad at you if he decides this is too much”. At least everyone winces apologetically, except Dan who just glances away which was the closest he usually came to a ‘sorry’.

Jack rubs his neck, “sorry, Jazzy-pants. Want us to bring your guy’s stuff in?”.

She scowls, she’s not going to effectively trap her boyfriend here by doing that, “considering I don’t even know if he wants to stay here now, no dad”. Her dad winces further, good.

She sighs, flopping back down on the couch, “let’s just rewind and finish the movie. Like normal people”. Dan snorts at her and she glares bloody murder at him.

Okay. So. His girlfriend’s family are not ‘weird’, rather they are actually insane and physically impossible. Which is extremely not okay. But he likes Jazz, a whole lot actually. A ton even. She was odd but not insane or too physically impossible; and she didn’t live here, he wouldn’t have to see these people -especially Dan- often. A handful of times a year at best right now. Hell she might be annoyed enough to ban that Dan guy from being within ten feet of him; Bassel would not complain about that. Her parents at least seemed harmless, over enthusiastic and strange but acceptable. However he knew for a fact that him liking or not liking her parents didn’t mean much, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t think too highly about their opinions. Her brother though, he knows she loved that kid, sometimes she made it sound like she was more his parent than their parents were. Said brother was half freaking dead. Because apparently ghosts are a real thing and can just walk around the living like it’s nothing… and also apparently being half alive was a remotely possible thing. Also Danny, a teen, has kids. Two kids. One who’s clearly older than him and committed a likely extremely disturbing amount of murder.

Well…

They’re not Jazz’s kids. So he, maybe? won’t have to deal with them much. Jazz seemed surprised they were even here after all. Alright. Okay. He can deal with this.

That’s frankly a lie.

But he can at least manage and pretend he’s cool. Then, when they go back to uni he can have a mild freak out in his dorm room and their relationship can go back to sort of normal. He is absolutely going to ask about her ‘ecto-contamination’? later though, and if those stories about her ‘communing with ghosts’ were actually true and was she just talking to her brother or was she also talking to other ghosts.

Pushing himself off of the sink he’s been leaning on and slapping his cheeks, “you got this, man”. His reflection does not copy him.

What the actual hell is wrong with this place? Besides the apparent portal to the afterlife in the goddamn lab. How did these people break a mirrors ability to mirror? Shaking his head and pulling out his phone, okay he’s looking these people up, like he goddamn should have already.

…

Okay yeah they just are fully public with the ghost hunting thing huh? That must have been fun to grow up with. Jazz did say she tried to separate herself as much as possible from them as a teen, this is absolutely why. And apparently her brother saved an entire species of gorillas? By… climbing in one’s cage… so he’s just always been crazy and reckless, got it; but hey, at least the gorillas aren’t extinct now.

Bassel’s not surprised that looking up Elle gets him nothing, she’s a young child after all, but Dan? For a supposed murderer there isn’t even a single result about him. No wiki article, no victim impact statements, no mugshot, no public court files, no morally questionable serial killer podcasts, nothing. Weird. But he’s absolutely not asking the man about that, because he doesn’t know what kind of nightmarish response he’s going to get. Considering his age -aka, being literally older than his freaking parent- it might be some sort of time travel thing, which he mildly hates the entire notion of, especially since he’s not going to claim he knows what’s possible or not now.

After all, his reflection is still just ‘standing’ there staring at him while he’s been pacing back and forth staring at his phone. He’s not googling his girlfriend of course, that would be creepy, but what about the ‘Phantom’ thing? That… that gets a lot of results. Freaky ones.

…

So…

Apparently…

This town has a goddamn dead superhero? That’s a freaking colour inversion of Danny with green eyes and also named Danny? Which there is no way that’s ’just a coincidence’. So Jazz’s brother is kind of dead, has an ‘arch enemy’, and is almost definitely some kind of dead superhero. Cool. That’s… that’s not completely insane at all. He officially feels like he’s in a knock off marvel movie with a secret identity reveal and everything.

And oh hey! Girl in red on a jet sled, Danny’s girlfriend, also definitely a superhero. Cool. This is Hell.

… Based on all the photos and videos of full blown super powered fights this town might actually be part of hell or an afterlife full of apparently violent dead people. No wonder Jazz was leery of him so much as visiting her home town, nonetheless her parents. A google of the stats shows that these ‘ghost attacks’ happen multiple times a day and it looks like they sometimes did a concerning amount of damage. Also the mayor is that Vlad guy? The evil uncle god father arch enemy guy. Why? How even? … It was probably mind control. Oh he kind of hates this.

Also though, how the heck was this town and this whole ghosts and a death dimension situation, not known about world wide?!? If it’s some kind of government suppression of information he’s going to scream; not actually scream just… internally scream. You’d think this would be something that’s in national news, an actual real life superhero and villains, another dimension, the afterlife… Okay perhaps being super public about an after life could cause some issues among religious groups.

Then his reflection growls at him.

Nope.

He’s not dealing with that.

He’s out of the bathroom in two seconds flat, practically rushing down the stairs, wheezing. Everyone, but Dan, is on the couch again apparently finishing the bird movie; Dan is just outright nowhere to be seen which he is a-okay with. “My reflection growled at me”. Jazz buries her head in her hands, this was obviously not how she wanted this first meeting to go; it wasn’t how he wanted it to go either, but he didn’t know it going this absurdly was even possible. Meanwhile Maddie and Danny shout, “JACK!”, clearly thinking the mirror is his fault. Wasn’t something about him going to the mirror dimension mentioned earlier? or is he just starting to come up with his own crazy possibilities.

The large man runs his neck, laughing, “whoops! Must have grabbed the wrong mirror!”.

“Wrong? Mirror?”. Damn right, he said he was done asking these people to explain literally anything.

Bassel eyeballing Jazz’s dad as he gets up and begins to move upstairs, “ah yeah, Danny-boy head-butted the old one so it had to be replaced, musta got the new mirror and the dimensional mirror mixed up!”.

Why is this kid head-butting mirrors and why does this family just have a ‘dimensional mirror’? Ugh, Bassel’s poor head. Jazz apparently has these same questions, or one of them at least, as well as the willingness to ask it. “Little brother? Why were head-butting the mirror? Young Blood isn’t trying to give you another nervous breakdown, is he?”; Bassel can practically feel the worry in her voice.

Danny scowls dramatically, “I’m fine, Jazz. No need to psycho babble me, Ancients. Skulker just decided that tooth brushing time was good head shooting time, I confiscated his right arm for that and he didn’t get it back for three days”, the kid looks proud of himself, “he hasn’t attacked me in the bathroom since”.

Bassel blinks, slightly horrified, Danny what? stole some… ghosts arm? as punishment? “Uh, I’m pretty sure a supposed superhero teen is not supposed to go around stealing people’s limbs”. Jazz groans very loudly and very tiredly.

Danny laughs, “oh! You looked me up huh? Don’t worry, I only took his mecha bodysuits arm, not his actual real arm”.

That’s… stranger but better. Then Elle pipes up, “even if he had it wouldn’t matter! See-”.

“NO!”.

Bassel is not going to ask why Danny just grabbed both of her wrists and glared at her. He has absolutely learned that if someone, or everyone, shouts ‘NO’ at someone else then he absolutely did not want to know why. Instead he watches his girlfriend get up and smile very awkwardly at him, he’s unpleasantly aware of the fact that her teeth were probably whiter than they should be, “you okay? Are we good?”.

“Absolutely not, but yes, yes we’re alright. I am absolutely not visiting here frequently though. And if Dan ever shows up anywhere near my dorm I’m hitting him with a frying pan immediately”.

She actually chuckles at that, “that’s fair, I tried to shoot him when we first met and tried to hit him with the creep stick the second time”. He’s not going to ask what a creep stick is, but he’s glad she had the sense to hit someone who’s clearly dangerous. “But call if he does do something that stupid, which he shouldn’t if he knows what’s good for him. He will only laugh if you hit him with a frying pan”.

Maddie shaking her head and getting up, “I’ve done that a time or two, he has a habit of trying to sneak food or add poisons just to see if he can get away with it”. Bassel doesn’t have words to express how concerning that is. “And I’m sorry this hasn’t been the best impression, it’s also unfortunately not the worst either though”. Oh. This could be worse? How? Blowing up the house? Hospitalising him? Probably!

Elle sticks a star sticker on him, “congratulations! For passing the weirdness tolerance test!”, looking back at Danny, “am I allowed to try and bite him now?”.

“No, you little shit”, Danny grumbling, “teething preteens are the worst”.

Wasn’t teething supposed to be something babies did? He wants to ask but nope, he’s not going there.

Then Jack’s voice startles him a good bit, “Your reflection must have been staring at you for a while there, buckeroo! Had to really shake it to get him to go away”.

Man was Jack ever a loud guy. Bassel chuckling awkwardly, “yeah I was a little preoccupied and choosing to ignore the insane broken mirror”.

Dan has apparently come back, “ha! You’re lucky your reflection didn’t try to reach through the mirror and strangle you”.

Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. But note to self, do not ignore sentient reflections that move of their own accord. Jazz even shakes her head, “okay that wasn’t the smartest decision you could have made, but I get it”, and she gestures at the couch, “want to finish the movie? Then we can get our stuff in?”.

He sighs, tired, “yeah, yeah, that’s… that’s good”. Just let everything else be normal, or as normal as it can be with the literal walking dead being in the room. Elle grabs him and Jazz before dragging them to the couch, the child is way too strong.

Jazz can practically feel the relief in her bones when they make it through the rest of the movie without anymore incidents, everyone getting up and Jack grabbing a scowling disgruntled Dan to help bring stuff inside. Dan grumbling, “I feel the need to point out that Danny is just as strong as me even if he looks like a damn beanpole”.

Danny shouting, “you mean I’m stronger than you! And hey! I’m lean!”, after them.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow at Jazz, her shaking her head with a small smile, “ectoplasmic energy counts for more than physical appearances with ghosts, my little brother might still be a child and thusly hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, but he can absolutely take his kid down a peg or two”. And he absolutely loved to pester Dan about that fact, while Dan loved to pester Danny about still being ‘puny’.

Dan growls from the garage doorway, “You lot would be dead otherwise and you know it”.

Jazz rolls her eyes, “maybe at one point but we’ve grown on you, don’t lie mister”. The full ghost only grumbles incoherently in response.

Of course her dad tries to open the trunk before Bassel can unlock it, resulting in him picking the car up, Dan having to catch the car when the trunk opens taking dad’s grip with it. Dan chuckling, “normally I’m the one who’s into picking up vehicles”.

Dad chuckling himself, “yeah and you usually throw them when you pick them up!”.

Bassel shakes his head as the full ghost sets his car on the ground fully, “do not throw my car, do all of you just have super strength”.

Jazz facepalms when her dad tilts his head like a puppy, “little cars like these aren’t that heavy though? I could have lifted this back in my college years even”. Bassel looks baffled when she glances at him.

Jazz sighing at her dad, “Dad, your parents were ghost hunters too, you’ve probably been contaminated your whole life, like me and Danny”.

“Oh right! Ha! I forgot about that! Silly me!”.

Bassel shakes his head in disbelief but takes a few of his things instead of letting the two much larger men carry everything. Jazz makes zero attempt to help Dan with any of it, her sticking her tongue out him instead. He snickers at her, “really taking the higher road here, aunty”.

“Like you’re one to talk”.

“The high road and I are incapable of coexistence”.

“Exactly”.

At least it seems like Bassel is fondly amused with their bantering, instead of disturbed, as they move from the garage and up to her old room/the spare room. Her eyeing her mom while the three men set things down in the room, “so where are Elle and Dan staying?”.

Dan scoffing from inside the room, “you say that like I sleep at all”. She studiously ignores him.

Her mom humming, “why don’t you ask Elle? Because I’m not sure”. And Elle pops out from behind Maddie, “we’re not. Grandma Pandora’s supposed to give me some sword fighting lessons!”, pouting, “and I gotta practice if I ever want to beat pops someday”.

Danny can be heard shouting, “like that’ll ever happen!”, from somewhere; and the little missy is off like a rocket after her dad probably to tackle him.

Dan growling, “if you try to make me organize your guys shit I’m going to intentionally remove every screw, battery, and third paper from everything I can get my claws on”, before Jack laughs and pushes the ghost out of the room. Dan eyeing Jazz, “and if you’ll remember, I’m not ‘allowed’ to be out past sunset”.

Ah right, she did actually forget about that. “Serves you right”. As he heads down and back to the living room he sticks his tongue out at her, it absolute is forked this time.

Bassel popping his head out of the room, “you want your studies and research notes left on the night stand? And remind me why we’re staying inside this strange house instead of a hotel, there’s… mold with eyes I think, in the corner”. Her wincing, “because the hotel has mandatory waivers and doesn’t allow Fenton’s”, then nodding up at him, “yeah my stuff’s fine there, don’t put anything in the drawers, sometimes stuff just vanishes inside for an unknown reason”. Based on him ducking back in immediately, he had in fact put some stuff inside a drawer and the sigh of relief and her dads light hearted laughter tells her that whatever it was was still there. At least some things were going right.

And then it promptly goes horribly wrong as soon as Bassel comes out to go back downstairs with her. A massive black star speckled ghost phasing their way down through the goddamn ceiling, Bassel going stalk stiff while Jazz dashes up the steps with him in her grasp and ducks both of them into the bathroom. Bassel sticking his head out of the bathroom while crouching just like her and whispering, “was that thing a freaking ghost? What the hell, babe”.

Her basically hissing at him, “yes, and a very powerful one”. Bassel grumbling, “I think today hates us”. She whole heartedly agrees.

Meanwhile the ghost is shouting, “PHANTOM! I request your aid!”, and from her and Bassel’s bathroom vantage point it looks like the ghost just got punched in their masked face -based on them being pushed back out of the kitchen entry way with a hand to their face- by Dan, who stomps out snarling, all fang but thankfully still human-looking, “wrong one, you sleepy ass”.

Starry sleep ghost… starry sleep ghost… ah right! Their name was Nocturne right? Her little brother did try to get her to remember the names of the more important ghosts after all. “Nocturne?”.

Oh she shouldn’t have said anything. The ghost looks to her and ‘brightens up’ in that cruel looking way many ghosts do, them promptly stretching and looming their body up and head over her and Bassel, “ah, young Phantom’s brethren. Do you know as to where I can find the one that will not attempt to eat beings of ancient malevolence?”. Bassel is shaking and she’s worried he’s going to pass out.

Dan rams a clawed hand into the ghosts body, “I’m true malevolence, mother fucker. Get back here”.

Thankfully Danny -in his ghost form unfortunately- pops in before Dan can do something stupid, “Dan! Leave the freaking god of sleep alone! Oh my Ancients!”. Him pointing at Nocturne’s face as the ghost moves down to him completely ignoring Jazz and Bassel now, “what the zone, Nocturne? You can’t just bust into my lair core whenever you feel like it just because I don’t get enough damn sleep”.

The ghost holds up a finger, “ah but that is hardly the reason for my arrival, I have seemed to ‘fucked up’, as you would say, to an unfortunate degree”.

Danny sighs and sags his entire body, floating in the air, “ugh, what did you do?”.

“I acquired-”.

Danny interrupting immediately, “You mean stole”.

“I acquired some eternal gardenia from FungalLung, they have now beset my domain with pink dew and blood blossom seeds”.

“Why the actual crap would you steal from that split personality psycho? There’s a reason no one goes near that kids garden”.

“I had a need for such things, as someone-”.

“Oh no, no blame game bullshit outta you, shit ass”.

“Our king needs to be-”.

“Needs to be allowed to have a bit of goddamn fun and some breaks, that’s what he needs. Now play guide, you reckless starry blanket”, Danny eyeing Dan, “Dan. Let. Go”.

Dan flinching and doing as he’s more or less commanded to. Scoffing, crossing his arms, and moving back into the kitchen with a tense, “whatever”.

Bassel wheezes when the ghost and her brother disappear through the floor, Jazz standing up fully and pulling him along with, “great. Just great. Love it. What next? An invasion?”.

Elle hums, “I mean, I could ask mythic grandma if she’s up for one”.

Jazz and Maddie both pointing at her aggressively with matching, “absolutely not”’s. Making the girl giggle. Jazz looking back to Bassel, “I promise you’re okay and not about to get attacked. Are you feeling okay?”.

“I am ten seconds away from wanting to lay on the carpet and scream cry into it, and I am positive I need a shock blanket”.

At least she doesn’t even have to ask her mom to get one for her to rush off and do so, Jazz and Maddie herding him into the spare room wrapped up in a Fenton ghost proof shock blanket in record time. Jazz nodding softly at her moms apologetic look and gesturing for her to leave them be, dad following his wife out with an exaggerated wince.

She shuffles up next to him and rubs his arm from over the blanket, effectively side hugging him, “okay so you’ve properly seen your first ghost, and they were unfortunately one of the non-human ones; but, Nocturne is quite safe actually, more a neutral being than malicious”.

He nods a little.

“They do tend to harass my brother a lot since they care a lot about sleep and he doesn’t get nearly enough of it”, shaking her head and laughing lightly a little, “and yes, what Danny said is true, they are for all accounts and purposes the god of sleep”, sighing, “nearly every god worshiped through out history is real and, yes, a ghost”.

He swallows, pulling the blanket around himself more, “that’s… kind of insane and a lot”.

Jazz nods more so to herself, she had a hard time swallowing that herself as a teen, “I know. I still find it a bit baffling myself and it is extremely strange actually meeting any of them”.

“At… at least you actually seem weirded out. Everything… else doesn’t seem to be, uh, strange, to you”.

“I’m used to it, more than I’d really like to be. I definitely wi- would prefer if my family was more normal, even marginally. And I’d rather my brother not be wrapped up in all this the way he is. Even Dan and Elle often feel that way, even if they wouldn’t exist if he wasn’t involved so heavily in everything”.

“That’s, concerning, actually”.

Jazz pats his arm some, “they haven’t had the best existences”.

Dan then startles her, voice coming through the door, “and there’s the simple fact that everyone would be better off if I never existed”.

Jazz sighing to herself and looking to the door, “Dan that’s not true”.

“And that’s crap and you know it, don’t bullshit me Jazz”; it sounds like he’s stomped off. She’s… going to have to talk to him later.

Bassel shivers, “he’s got a lot of… issues, huh”.

Jazz sighing and nodding, closing her eyes, “if people tell you you’re a monster enough that becomes all that you are and healing becomes nearly impossible”, shaking her head and looking at him, he’s watching her intently, “Elle and Danny are good for him but his emotions don’t work like they’re supposed to because of what happened to him. He’s also partly being pissy because Danny genuinely scolded him. Anyone exerting their power over him tends to rile him up, whether he wants it to or not”.

“Part of him being a, uh, ghost?”.

She nods, “yup. Though I doubt talking about Dan is great for you right now”.

Bassel looks away and stares forwards, “no, probably not”, shaking his head and readjusting into the blanket, “… that, ghost, called your brother a king, didn’t they”.

Jazz shrugs, “he tires not to let it get to his head”.

He shakes himself a little, shaking his head slowly side to side, “yeah no, I’m not pushing. Though is that why he feels like death, the pressure of death at least, when he looks all black and white”.

“I… if he feels like that I’ve never noticed, sorry. But I was living with him when that change happened so it very well might have happened slowly, over time”.

“I guess that makes sense, it almost felt hard to breathe when his voice got… thick? at Dan”.

Jazz blinks, nodding immediately, “ah that’s actually a specific power he has. He mostly just uses it to get across that he’s not playing around, that he’s being serious”.

“Effective”.

Jazz nods slowly, letting him just breathe for a bit. She guesses she can understand how her brother can be a bit much, and it was definitely for the best that Bassel found out before a ghost crashed the party that her brother was a ghost himself. Then he speaks up again, “you’re entirely alive, right? I know you have a lot of spooky rumours that follow you and, like I said, you do look off. So, you’re not a ghost, right?”.

Jazz is tempted to laugh, instead she just shakes her head, “no, not even a little bit”.

“Good. That’s good”.

She just hums, nodding to herself. Waiting for him to work through his own head. Hearing about ghosts and seeing one were very different things, and an Ancient was hard to run into no matter what Danny said. She swears it’s like he forgets that he is in the same sort of classification as them. But at least it seems like Bassel’s handling it better than many do, better than most non-Amity Parkers at least. And then her dad goes and bangs the door open, nearly making Bassel fling himself off of the bed, “I made hot chocolate!”.

“Dad! He’s trying to wind down! Not get the zone scared out of him!”.

Her dad wincing, “ah sorry, Jazzy”, holding up the two cups, “hot chocolate?”, and tilts his head to the side.

Jazz sighs, side eyeing Bassel to make sure he isn’t going to freak out further before getting up and grabbing the cups, “I know you mean well, dad, but you’re still a very loud, very large, presence”.

He rubs his neck and laughs awkwardly, tilting sideways enough to look at Bassel. Giving her boyfriend a thumbs up, “you kids get settled, no funny business”.

“Oh my zone!”, she shoves him out with a foot, barely managing not to spill, and kicks her door shut. At least she manages to give Bassel the hot chocolate gently, “that man, I swear”.

Bassel genuinely laughs though, staring at the hot chocolate in his hands, “that was so utterly normal dad behaviour though, it’s grounding actually”.

Huh. Guess he actually did a good job. “Then I owe him an apology”. She makes her sip on the hot chocolate -that’s already been adequately cooled, thanks dad genuinely- loud, purely to encourage Bassel to drink his.

He notices the cooled temp too, “he waited till it was cool but not too cool, huh?”.

“Yeah. He’s a bit of a fool and reckless but he cares a lot and has a good heart that’s as big as he is”.

Bassel humming and they sit in silence for a bit until, “is your brother going to be okay? I know I called him a superhero and google seems to say he is but…”.

“Oh superhero is very accurate by human standards, but by ghosts he’s basically normal. Behaviour wise at least. Most of the time”, shaking her head, “he’ll be fine, even if it sounds like he might wind up with a case of Blood Blossom poisoning again”.

“Let me guess, ghost poison?”.

“Yup”.

“That’s absurd”, and he sips at his hot chocolate some, “he’s not going to vomit on the floor is he?”.

Okay she can’t help but laugh at that, shaking her head, “no, no, more coughing fits, aches and pains, and muscle spasms. That’s only because he’s alive enough to not be fully affected”.

“Hence why this powerful ghost came for his help?”.

Jazz nodding, “hence why a powerful ghost came for his help”, tilting her head, “though if I remember right pink dew is a psychedelic, so he also might be high when he gets back”.

“Oh god, I don’t think that kid should ever do drugs. Being near your entire family is like being on drugs”, sticking his arms out of the blanket and gesturing the mug around, “if I woke up in the morning and was told this was all one big fever dream, I’d believe it”.

“That’s understandable. Which is why the rest of the world considers this town a hoax”.

“Yeah I was wondering about that”, he downs a considerable amount of his drink, “you’d think the whole world would know about this. But I guess that would cause an uproar”.

Jazz sighing, almost annoyed, “yeah, the government does try to keep a lid on everything”.

“God damn it. Seriously? Ugh. I hate that I called ‘government cover up’ as the why”.

“There’s more to it but the rest is a lot weirder to the point where even I don’t want to think about it. It’s actually in the category of too weird”. Her little brother mind wiping an entire planet after fighting a reality controlling clown that turned roads into rollercoasters and made him fight a fire breathing clown and a lava pit full of rubber ducks, was so many steps past extremely strange.

Bassel full body cringing, “then I definitely don’t want to know. I do want to know if the stories about you communing with ghosts in your dorm are true though, and if your dorms is ‘contaminated’”, looking down at the cup, “and we should thank your dad for this. It was pretty good”.

Jazz blushes a little, “they’re true, even ghosts need therapy and I don’t need my license to give it to them. Sometimes it is just Danny though, and I’m good about keeping on top of decontamination, so don’t worry about that”, then eyeing him, he still seemed a little out of it and shocky but he was definitely better and really there was no normalising or rationalizing her family, “we’ll go down and thank him if you’re alright”.

He nods down at the cup and to himself, then looking at her with a nod and shaking smile, “I’m going to be digesting all of this for days at least, but I’m okay, babe. I absolutely hope today was the weirdest day of this week visit though”.

Jazz hums, standing up and offering him her mug-free hand, “well Dan will avoid Danny for at least a full day and Pandora will keep Elle busy for at least three; so there won’t be their chaos for a little while. As for literal gods showing up, that happens so seldom that I genuinely believe that Johnny’s Shadow might’ve snagged us some bad luck on the way into town”.

“Johnny’s Shadow?”.

Oh maybe she shouldn’t have brought that guy up. Wincing, “um, Shadow is basically Johnny’s pet or familiar? And Johnny is a ghost I may have dated? Once? He wasn’t genuine about it, and I was a dumb teenager who feel for his stupid motorbike and bad boy vibes”.

He actually snickers at her, before laughing fully and having to put the mug to the side to avoid spilling it, “I! Can not believe how stereotypical! That is!”, shaking his head and wheezing, eyeing her, “straight laced, honor role daughter falls for a motorcycle riding bad boy who’s all charm and bad intentions”.

She smacks his arm, “don’t be mean”, she doesn’t mean it at all though, “and Danny actually dated his girlfriend, she was trying to make Johnny jealous”.

“So what I’m getting here is ghosts are seriously just goddamn people, some are just very extra”.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah. Or they’re more like animals”.

Bassel blinks as they shuffle out of the room, “oh thats right, the green dog, where’d he? go?”.

Jazz snorts, “Danny sent him back to, well, the other side as it were; since mom was trying to taser him”. He was always so protective of that dog, even if said dog caused so many issues.

“That did seem a bit excessive”.

“Oh absolutely not, that dog is an actual menace”.

“I’m just going to take your word for it”.

They pop into the kitchen, she’s not surprised both Dan and Elle are gone. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, dad”. Bassel nodding, “yeah, it was really good, thank you”.

Her dad gives a goofy thumbs up, “glad you liked it!”. And she thinks everything might just be okay.

Bassel’s not really sure what to do about all of this. What he does know is that he’s better off not thinking about it and not trying to actually figure out what to do about all of this. He knows Jack Fenton cares a lot, makes good hot chocolate, he’s loud and big, and sure he’s a little off and too strong but he actually is like a puppy. Maddie Fenton was a lot softer, a lot more aware that her family was odd, more socially adept, but she was also more threatening and quick to fight; strange and off as well but she came off as more normal than her husband. Danny was… a nightmare, full stop, he’s a little worried what kind of friends the teen had that could put up with him. He was borderline actually insane, but from what Bassel saw on his google trip he also was a genuinely good kid. Bassel’s fairly certain that even if the world turned against him he’d still fight to save it; that took a level of sheer determination and heart that Bassel probably didn’t have himself. Elle was just a weird kid with too lax and strange of a parent, she might stand a chance at being almost normal someday. Maybe. Dan was an utter psycho though, he honestly can not think of a redeeming quality for that one. Doesn’t even want to try. Because excusing a murderer was not a line he feels like toeing. Jazz says Dan wouldn’t hurt any of them and does love them, but he’s not sold on that; it seemed more likely that she just didn't want to admit that the man was simply an awful unkind corrupt person.

And Jazz?

Well, his opinion honestly hasn’t changed. She’s still awesome, beautiful, caring, neurotic, a worrier, and slightly strange. He wants to think she’d be the same, though maybe less strange, even if she had a perfectly normal and average family. He wasn’t about to let odd family break them up, even if it was the kind of odd normally reserved for tv shows and the weird comics you find at truck stops that are filled with plot holes and questionable narrative direction. Either way he’s sticking around, so long as he can actually physically survive a week in this place.

Him watching as Danny, covered in some kind of clear goo or slime, kicks open the lab door with blown out pupils and a gnarly rash on half his face. “I! Never want to see! Another! Fucking! Person with me damn mushroom eyes again! I feel! Disgusting! Bleh!”, sticks out his tongue and then faceplants onto the floor groaning; the slime stuff splatters around a bit.

Bassel blinks, “um, should someone drag him up to the bathroom or something?”. Then the kid sprouts another set of goddamn arms and hands out of his back and proceeds to dragging himself across the floor and up the stairs with them. “Never mind, what the hell. I never want to see that again”.

Jazz sighs, rinsing out their cups, “he’s definitely high, don’t touch the goo trail”, moving to get the biohazards mop and bucket, “Danny can be a bit of a jerk with the body horror stuff but he usually reserves it for people he knows can handle it”.

“That’s… good. Dear god”.

And then… Danny??? runs up the lab stairs, “did anyone see a body of mine”.

Jazz throws the mop at him and yelps, “what the Zone! Danny?”, making faces at him and pointing at the stairs that still has a slime trial on it, “I have some serious questions”.

He blinks at her, “rogue duplicate”, and runs towards the stairs.

Jazz throws up her hands, “why would you use a power you suck at to deal with drug flowers!”.

“Because I didn’t want to personally deal with blood blossoms!”, the kid slips on the slime and smashes his face into the stairs, “fuck!”, then scramble crawls up the steps.

Bassel grabs the mop back up, ignores that it’s a weirdly hot pink colour, and hands it off to his girlfriend, “so that was a thing that happened”.

Jack starts wheeze laughing, sitting down at the kitchen table, “I hope his duplicate at least had fun!”.

Maddie grinning at the man, “I’m sure it did, Jack hon”.

Everyone, including Bassel, ignores the strange thumping going on upstairs as well as the… arm that comes hurling down the steps and dissolves into green goo against a wall. Staying here was going to give him some extremely unique and unfortunate nightmares, wasn’t it? At least now he gets why his girlfriend had such an easy time writing behavioural papers, she had multiple subject studies. He might even be able to bang out a paper or two on human adaptability after this. He absolutely was not doing any papers on people growing arms out of their backs though, that would get him sent on a grippy sock vacation.

Danny pops back in looking disgusted, “it’s dealt with”.

Maddie eyeing him cautiously, “is the hall way intact?”.

The boy sags and gives a truly crushed, “no”.

At this point, Bassel thinks that’s frankly expected. He also thinks that this household is cursed. At least Jack bounds up the stairs to start fixing the hallway and Bassel legitimately doesn’t care to check out the damage. Truly. Instead he’s just going to sit down with his girlfriend and, like her, mildly regret him coming and going into this ‘cold turkey’. Next time she warns him about something, he’s going to demand an explanation instead of brushing her worries off.

End.

Promtps: Jazz brings a date home for the first time. She didn’t exactly brief them on her family’s whole ghost thing. Antics ensue. All the Fentons are a bit more ghostly than they know The Phantom Clan (Dan, Dani, and Danny) is awake and about to make it everyone's problem Jazz has a reputation at college for being spooky, it doesn't help that she communes with ghosts. Uncanny valley is strong with Danny, most Amity Parkers don't realize it, but any time anyone from out of town sees him, they're in for a spook. Nocturne fucked up BIG TIME and now needs help from the ghost kid.

[melkyt]

Doctor Who AU, Lawlu

Where Luffy steals a Tardis as soon as he gets into the academy. He doesn't care how it works. He just knows they will vibe together, and that's enough.

And they do. He just takes to the controls, and the Tardis adjusts for him, wanting and escape just as much. He often calls her by name, and they are all the other has for a long time. He finds out that his planet dies shortly after and tries to act as if that's okay and push it away, even if it hurts.

Other time lords escape, Ace ofc, but the universe is big, and they don't meet for a long time.

He takes companions, his family, that are looking to get away from their lives just as much as he did when he ran away.

Timelord shenanigans, where they become immortal in one way or another, Luffy letting go of anyone? Not gonna happen.

One day, he lands on an empty planet that is nothing but dust and ruin. It is absolutely boring. Still, he doesn't leave because his instincts say there is something here. The crew splits up and they go exploring around.

Luffy plans to go to the bigger city ruin but gets distracted by a worn path in the dust, where he finds a village and a lone man, sitting there looking at the sky.

Luffy immediately sits down next to him with an excited Hello! And an introduction.

The man, Law, not having interaction with anyone for decades is startled. He had half assumed that Luffy was just an illusion of a lonely mind. So imagine his surprise when this overly excited gremlin shakes his hand.

He is unnerved but gets over it when Luffy mentions he has a ship, a tardis. Law grabs Luffy and drags him through the village from where he came from, demanding that he take him away from this place because he has shit to do. It's been too long.

Luffy just laughs and says yeah sure, he whistles for everyone to gather, and they take off in the Tardis. Law tries to hijack it a few times but gets a bad burn before he gives up.

Luffy chides him "We're gonna take you there anyway, so why you gotta touch my ship"

Law doesnt trust it.

Yet they do, they go to where Law directs, Doflamingo is there making cybermen or daleks or what have you xd. They are here to take him down. All plans go out the window as soon as the Tardis lands, the planet almost falls into a black hole, there are time dilation shenanigans and the usual DW plot nonsense xd

At the end of the day, they take down Doffy and go stumbling back to the Tardis.

Law gets hurt enough that the rest of the crew is worried he won't make it. Luffy says, "Nah," going on his instincts. And it's true, Law regenerates, into the same form, maybe a little taller. He says that he had some timelord sickness, and it was fixed with a 'curse' that keeps him as he is.

Law is dramatic about it and rattles off the history of time lords (all will of D are timelords).

Luffy, who pretended he knew the entire time, gets highkey obsessed, more than usual. He doesn't act like it, but the death of his entire species affects him. So, law is the same and brings back the past. He never really processed that he was the last of his kind.

Law being in the same boat, doesn't mind the attention, but only on the Tardis and only says that he tolerates the constant hugs. Yet he slowly becomes just as attached.

The Tardis Merry watching their relationship grow like it's some intense Soap Opera, slowly moves their rooms together until they are separated by a door.

Law notices what it's doing and argues with it when everyone is asleep, spilling all his feelings that he can't say to anyone else. That he is not willing to say to Luffy. It becomes routine, it's like therapy for the time lord.

The Tardis on a day that Law is saying the most deep honest things, wakes Luffy up with the smell of food and leads him to one of the abandoned control rooms where Law spills his soul, worlds tumbling over each other in a confession

Luffy grins, runs, lulls Traffy into a hug, and announces that he loves him too, and when they take down the rest of Doffy's crew, they should get married.

Law stunned that anyone could love him back, doesn't complain in his usual way, just hides his face in the collar of his shirt.

They share a room after that, and nothing can separate them for days. The chaos the strawhat crew causes takes on another level as soon as Law feels comfortable enough to add his flavor of shenanigans to their adventures xd.

[yinyanchan]

I just have to say, I've been literally obsessed with a lot of your fanfics lately! After you posted an update for a lot of your fanfics in April, I decided to give them a shot and I absolutely don't regret my decision! Your writing just seems to draw me in and before I know it, I've finished all the available chapters of the fanfic I was reading! Your characterization of these characters are different but very appealing, especially your Swapfell Red Sans (I love that little sucker so much)! All the fluffy and weird situations that happen with the MC and the skeletons either has me cooing at the heartwarming moments or laughing my ass off at the absurd shenanigans the MC and the skeletons get into. Like that moment in "Dire Wolf" where Fang hides MC in his body so she can see Dire and Wolf but it just ends up getting worse and worse for Fang, that entire moment had me laughing like a banshee because it was so funny to me!

Sorry for the rambling but I needed to word vomit about your fanfics. I do have a question though, are some of your fanfics discontinued? Specifically "Dire Wolf" and "Gremlins".

Thank you so much! As much as I fell in love with Underfell Sans in the beginning... Swapfell Red Sans has definitely stolen my heart and I was a little sad not seeing more of him out there when I had initially started writing. I very much enjoyed writing his yandere chapter in Yandere Oneshots, talk about a smooth operator. I'm very proud of that moment with Fang in Dire Wolf! I like to say "what horribly embarrassing thing that I can do to them that could be absolutely possible due to them being monsters?" Then giggle maniacally as I write it. Embarrassment tropes were my thing back in the day and I'm glad it has stuck with me for my undertale writings...

I only have one fic on indefinite hiatus and that is All or Nothing. I got overwhelmed with everything I was trying to fit into, what I was hoping to be, a short story and got very burned out. As it stands I have published over 20 different stories on AO3 and that's not even including the ones that I've written that I haven't brought to light. I was hoping to budget my time the year before last as I had a schedule that allowed me to do so but that changed. I've been through a lot of major life happenings and accidents that it put a lot of things on the back burner... not to mention to many ideas that like to pop into my head that grabs my attention away. I also have a physically demanding job as of now, though I much enjoy it, I'm very exhausted by the time I get home. It's one of the reasons I will not have a Patreon for my work. Not that I don't like a few ko-fi's here and there for my writing, and just writing for the fun of it, but I don't want to be put on a deadline as that will only make things not flow and be considered work. It also wouldn't be fair for everyone to get half baked chapters and be paying for it. There are some days that I have to put certain fics away because nothing was flowing right and that doesn't mean I haven't written future things waiting to be upcoming chapters... it's when I finally have that "Ah HA!" moment and something can finally go together the way I envisioned it. Unfortunately it takes time for me and I can't miss a day of work with the bills I've got... Especially after getting rear ended by that uninsured motorist... that took a lot of money to fix and they have straight up disappeared so there is nothing I can do but have a warrant for their arrest for evading trial. Out of all the things that happened this year that's the one that cost the most and took far more of my time than I would have liked. (Sorry for the vent, I literally just got my car back today and the accident was in late March.)

Gremlins has a chapter coming once I get the right words on a certain situation and Dire Wolf was at a good stopping place for the moment. Dire Wolf is probably going to have story arcs if I go into depth with every single skeleton but the main two are my primary focus.

As for the others I find myself editing and then not liking how something was written or the placement in time setting and it goes back to being worked on a bit more.

I thank you all for your patience with me! I am trying and hopefully *looks around, knocks on wood, offers prayers to the universe* that I can get my calendar situated and I can actually give you a better idea of posts and more frequent posts. Soon overtime will just be a distant memory... I hope... and more free time rather than a few paragraphs I can fit in during lunch.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hii im just adding on to my old one with more about me! new info will be in pink <33

uhh im an indian teenage (14-15 though i look younger) girl and she/her presenting. im very easy to tell im indian. i have brown/tan skin and dark brown eyes. i have black curly hair but the tips are dyed a dark red. my face shape is pretty sharp, heart shape i think?? and people say i look like a cartoon? i have bangs that curl and swoop across my face though they fall straight across my forhead when straightened. 

im pretty short too, easy to pick up lol im also INSANELY clumsy and fall down a lot, very high pain tolerance tho! physical touch is my love language >>> HUGS, FORHEAD KISSES, HOLDING HANDS, just laying across each other?? omg i love it all

I'm very energetic and it shows. Im bouncy and fidgety and easily excitable. I'm very friendly and silly, and just chaotic in general. I'm an ENFP and fit like all the stereotypes and everything. Or if you know Owl House, I'm exactly like Luz Noceda. I care a lot about my friends but im not sure if i show it enough? i come off as a lot at first and am very awkward Tons of people associate me with hyperactive adhd (not diagnosed )! I'm pretty optimistic and positive in general, UNLESS we're talking about my humour- its the corniest dad jokes mixed with dark humour thats a very aqcuired taste, i also LOVE inside jokes <33 Like my vibes are all cutesy and sunshiney except when you know me you know im Very Concerning™ (my friends say my bracelts fit my vibes perfectly and theyre like yellow and pink with hearts and smiley faces but say Death and Arsonist) uhh, im also the mom friend along with the chaotic gremlin?? Yes, lets get in trouble but only if you take care of yourself! (i always carry bandaids, pain killers, ect. though it might also be the part of me obsessed with medicine and healing lol)

i like to read! and hang out with friends! adventures and exploring and doing things im not supposed to

FIRE AND NATURE AND OOO ANIMALS  CREEKS >>> CAVES >>>> just finding little places where we can be ourselves together you know? i really love cozy fantasy and believing in magic and just have a sort of childish innocence (this world is depressing without it :pp ) which also leads me to be pretty gullible :sob: -

i also like to write, though im not very good at it. I doodle sometimes for fun. Crafts are fun too! I bake when i have time but i mainly hang out with friends <33 I love to try new things, though I'm not really good at it lol ALSO I'M BI-ROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL (questioning for both) so i dont mind girl or boy, just SFW thank you so much btw, i love ur hcs so much and its really creative :DD

I’m giving you two different fandom ships

Your Fandom Ship(s): Tim Drake (Red Robin, DC Universe) and Steve Randle (The Outsiders)

Explanation: starting off of the parents I think that Tim would absolutely find you attractive and he would think that you’re one of the cutest people he saw all day. He would love your heart shaped face and love your curly hair with the red tips at the end and think that it made you stand out from other people, and I feel like his eyes would just be subtly on you as he walked by.  he’s also pretty short and I feel like it would be kind of a running joke between the both of you if you weren’t insecure about being short, of course. He’s not super clumsy, but he thinks the fact that you’re kind of a klutz is utterly hilarious and he will laugh at you a bit before helping you up with a smile. I honestly don’t hc him as being very interested in sex, so I think he would totally be fine with you being a sexual and willing to skip over that part of your relationship. He also really loves physical affection too, (to a limit) so I feel like he would be all about cuddling with you and hugging and kissing. But I also feel like he would need a break sometimes from that which you would totally respect. But he would love climbing through your window late at night, laying down in bed with you and just talking and having those deep late night conversations. So Tim is the type of person that doesn’t really use alarms and he doesn’t really get much sleep either. He’s very intelligent and mostly thrives on coffee and very much stays up late and doesn’t get enough sleep so I feel like he wouldn’t be as chaotic as you, but I feel like he would help wake him up a little bit in a way that even coffee can’t I feel like you guys would perfectly balance each other out because he’s definitely a bit more of a tired guy and you’re definitely a bit more oh my gosh, look at that look at this. Watch me do this! Type of person. It also works in vice versa because I feel like he could kind of be your melatonin a bit and help you kind of remember to relax calm down. Take one step at a time not in the way that’s squashing your excitement and chaotic kindness, of course, but more than a way that just kind of grounds you. He’s a bit of a nerd too and comes off a little bit awkward when he’s not in his red Robin superhero persona where he hast to be smooth and he’s just in regular old Tim Drake so I think you guys would kind of be together because you could bond over that a bit and kind of feel like the other person is way smoother or something than you and feel like you guys are really on the same page. I feel like Tim also kind of needs you because he definitely doesn’t take care of himself and it’s kind of funny your relationship because he’s going to tell you oh don’t break the law and you’ll be like well. You take care of yourself you have a broken arm you shouldn’t even be, doing that anyway and then you guys will both stare at each other like “shit. You have a point.” I feel like he kind of makes more nerdy jokes, but he would definitely appreciate your dad joke, humor and you guys have so many freaking inside jokes. It’s not even funny like you guys talk to each other around the rest of the bat family and they’re just so clueless as to what you’re saying because of how many freaking inside jokes you guys have referenced in one minimal conversation. He also loves reading so I feel like that’s something you guys could do together. Just have a little reading and music dates where you sit down and just vibe and then maybe later talk about your books and I feel like he’s the type of person that after reading a book would love to come up with all sorts of theories about it And things like that because he is a better detective than Bruce Wayne himself in canon. I feel like Tim would love film theory (the YouTube channel). Anyway, I feel like you guys could also go on hikes together and that’s something that he would enjoy. 

Explanation: starting off with physical attraction I think that Steve would be very attracted to you and think you’re extremely beautiful. He would love your heart shaped face and the way you look like some sort of animated character just popped right out of television and in front of him and he would think that your hair is super cool, but he would never tell that to you until you were way further in the relationship. He is a lot taller than you and would love picking you up and spending you around and teasing you about being short and because you’re so clumsy, he would probably be jokingly calling you “dummy” a lot while fully knowing that you could definitely beat him in any academic test easy. He’s totally fine with you being as sexual as he doesn’t really care that much about that in the relationship as long as he gets to be with you. He would love physical affection, though it might take him a while to get used to it and you might have to do it later on into the relationship. Once it finally happens I think he would totally be in love with holding hands with you, kissing your cheek and things like that. as for your excitable personality and very ADHD chaotic gremlin vibe I think that you guys would be a great match together because he’s kind of a grumpy vibe and I feel like you would even each other out like you’re one of the only people besides his best friend that can make him smile and he’s one of the only people that can calm me down if you can’t focus because there’s too many things in the rumor something like that. He likes that you take care of him because sometimes he gets injured whenever he’s working on cars and it’s pretty convenient that you always have bandages on and alcohol wipes, and things like that. It also makes him feel cared for whenever you do it. He would laugh really hard at your dad jokes and I feel like you guys would have a decent amount of inside jokes as well. As for your kind of sunshiny side I think you guys would be a great pair because he’s kind of colder and grumpy so I think you guys would even each other out. He doesn’t get reading as much, but he would really love it if you read to him while he was working on cars so he had something other to think about.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I know what you mean! That Masquerade drip is incredible! I won't say anything to spoil the plot, but the Malleyuu stans really got fed in that one. I'm thinking that the Harveston event will likely drop in early March since most of the other events are canonically set after Book 6 and would give away a pretty major spoiler if they were released before part 2 comes out.

I already spoiled 3/4s of it for myself😔 and I saw - Malleus really isn't beating the otome game allegations. Man's the real main character and aiming for that MC route. He even did that "oh? MC's going over there? Then I'm coming too😊" shit that OM!'s LIs are always pulling. absolutely insane

Ohh lot of them being after book 6 would explain the ones idia is in and have i mentioned how much i love him? His little gremlin laugh? Obsessed. His hair was a big part of why I downloaded this game

The fact that Idia & Levi are the same character types on paper but somehow Idia makes Levi (whose only friends were a snake and goldfish for the longest time; who genuinely tried to kill someone because they told him spoilers; who summons a sea monster, floods his entire house & runs away from home when his favourite characters die; who regularly skips school because he's too anxious to go/would rather stay home and game/watch anime; who has a whole anxiety fuelled crisis while ordering coffee; and so much more) - he makes this Levi look like a fully functioning adult and that's making me chew through the solid steel bars of my enclosure

[r0-boat]

Gwa!Submas more in depth

( with one star appearance ; ) )

Gift for @nc-eikin as a thank you for Tarzan!submas

Cw: mentions of yandere, monster fucking, daddy kink.

Afab reader

they would make special audios for their darling. Only for their ears to listen to. May or may not go all out. If their lover likes monsters then it will be monster audios; if they want yandere, then oh boy, they will kick up the possessive level.

Include all of their Darlings most favorited Kinks. Ingo, Emmet or both would lay in bed with you and urge you to try it.

" Close your eyes dear, but you can't open them."

" Trust us darling, we've worked verrry hard on this."

You put your headphones in your ear and listen. Not even minutes into it they start touching you. you whimper almost squealing in shock when you feel fingers brush into your hair at the same time it happens in the audio.You almost open your eyes but you feel hands covering them "ah ah ah, verrry bad listener~ keep those pretty eyes closed~"

Watch anime? Play games? Have a favorite title?? You can tell dear Emmet about it. He totally won't use it to his advantage in his next post ; )

Ingo lowkey Kink shames you lol. he asks you what your favorite audio is to know what his audience is normally into he can take notes on what he can improve. And oh how is Skitty smile drops when you talk about the most darkest audio he has? That yandere one where he is a priest trying to manipulate you into being with him??

"oh...?" he says with a dark look. " I can't say that I'm surprised with a sinner like you," he says, backing you against counter, his whole body pressed against yours. He grabs your chin with his fingers forcing you to look up at him. " Don't tempt me again, dear; I may be a pious man. But even the most righteous of men have the most ravenous of demons," he growls before kissing your forehead and walking out of the kitchen like nothing fucking happened.

You get to read the comments and smirk at how many people thirst for their voices knowing that they can't have what you have.

Emmet gets low-key jealous if he sees you listening to other people's audio. Nothing too far. He just gets a little pouty and asks what do they have in their audio that he doesn't have in his. You laugh and say a hot dilf voice. And he just grabs you by the shoulders, pinning you to the bed. Immediately lowering his voice to a rough, husky tone, " Don't toy with me, little girl... Unless you want to be warming Daddy's fat cock later, I suggest you don't push any more of his buttons."

You love the wholesome moments all three of you share after watching a movie the both of you are immediately invested in talking about it. The two are talking about an audio idea inspired by the film, and you're entirely for it. You are giving them more ideas and feeding into their new obsession, watching them unable to hold their excitement.

And then you have the overworked Gremlin side. Where you have to beg Emmet to go to sleep because it's 2 hours past midnight on his day off with eye bags under his eyes while he edits his audio because his computer corrupted it.

Ingo has a different reaction when he sees you listening to another person's audio. You gush about this one women's GWA account, 'Mr.Cl0dsire,' you swoon about how she's so talented, and her voice has such a range; suffice to say you sort of have an internet crush on her suave voice. Ingo hiding a smile, just raises an eyebrow 'oh...?' how intriguing. Not too long ago, he just got a DM from her absolutely praising him for his voice work... Since they've been mutuals for quite a while, maybe he can pull some strings~ and have a very special audio made just for you with a special guest~.

Let's just say if you ever were in a relationship with these two you're fucked : )

And I have yet to mention that Emmet would totally sneak up on you while you were listening to something. And slide a thick toy inside of you. ( your permission ahead of time, of course) pounding your poor cunt, silly.

Ingo learning how to voice your favorite character just to see you squirm.

Or both twins are sitting you down with hearts in their eyes, asking What audio you would like them to do because they want nothing more than to see that smile on your face.

Emmet would it get a mischievous look on your face and urge you to put in your earbuds while you sit next to him on the train. You try to hide your now reddening face as you heard his voice whisper naughty things into your ear, the lewd sounds from his hand stroking his wet cock. All the while feeling his eyes glued upon you, his hand grouping your thigh.

[artzychic27]

More Actor AU commentary?

*Juleka, Luka, Myléne, and Alix are having their hair re-dyed*

Juleka: The stylists have a closet exclusively for our hair dye. I’ve never felt so honored.

Luka: *Squeals* We each got our own shelves!

Alix: Yeah, it’s great, but then the fumes really start to kick in, ya’know?

Myléne: I told you guys to go with the eco-friendly stuff, now I’m sitting here not breathing in toxic fumes.

—

Mireille: Come here, we’re gonna show you the Akuma closet.

*Marinette the door to a massive walk-in closet of Akuma costumes*

Marinette: This is where most of the magic actually happens. The artists like to have their space and this is the quietest room to work on designs. Hey, CeCe.

CeCe: *Drawing under a table* Silence!

Mireille: Yes, ma’am. Anyway, the costumes here are all stored here when they’re no longer in use until later episodes when an Akuma returns, or for the design team to come in and make alterations. Like… Oh! Here’s Reverser’s original suit. *Pulls out a black and white Two-Face inspired suit*

Marinette: See, it’s good, but it can always be better. Now, the creators are letting Marc wear it to the red carpet event.

—

Kim: *Doing his makeup* See, unlike most of my co-stars, I do my own makeup for each scene. I’m cool like that.

Marc: *Doing a Smokey eye* We’re cool like that.

—

Reshma: Naturally, we all hate Marc and Kim because they don’t spend three hours in makeup every morning.

Denise: I’d kill for those fine-ass eyes.

—

Nino: To properly look like your typical high school students, we stay up for hours each night to create eye bags instead of using makeup

Marinette: You think students wake up without eye bags? Fuck y’all.

—

Nathaniel: It took all sorts of candy and video games to keep the kids of the original show preoccupied so they don’t tackle me during takes.

Alya: *Laughing* We don’t know why, but kids just love Nath! Ella and Etta are obsessed with him.

Nino: Chris can’t stay off of him. Same for Manon. Whenever they see Nath, they’re clinging to his legs.

Marc: Kiran absolutely ADORES Nath! Sometimes Nath let’s him draw on his arm.

Nathaniel: You won’t believe how thrilled they were when they heard they’d be getting to interact with me more. They’re especially jealous of Manon since she got to do a scene with me first.

—

Aurore: *Opens the door to her dressing room to reveal a wall of parasols* As you can see, I take my character’s love of parasols very serious. You have your holiday-themed parasols, parasols with pointed tip when I need to strike a bitch, and a special one I don’t open. I just walk around with it like a fancy cane.

—

Chloé: Zoé and I are just thrilled to be best friends on the show! Looking at the original script, I’m just like, “God, this dialogue sucks.”

Zoé: Don’t get us wrong, there’s gonna be some ups and downs in my first scene, but we bond over a mutual matred of our mother.

Chloé: Such a wonderful bond!

—

Kim: Behold! The Wig Room! *Opens the door to a room full of wigs* This is where we keep the wigs for Akumas and heroes! Oh! There’s Ikati Black’s! You won’t believe how long it takes the stylists to braid Max’s hair back.

Max: That’s their workout. Because of me, they have amazing biceps.

—

Alya: When filming Lady WiFi, there were like a shit-ton of green screens just everywhere. I’m fact, the characters were forbidden from wearing green during the takes where we had the screens up!

Max: My signature color! Gone!

Tomassian: Uh, how do you I felt? They had to edit in the colors after the shots. I felt so dirty!

—

Sabrina: While everyone else gets some kick ass costume… Mine is literally a green bodysuit. It’s like the one they used for Hagakure in My Hero Academia. And when I’m visible, I look like fucking Silver Surfer! *laughs*

—

Corsette: *Recording on their phone* Observe the blonde gremlins in their natural environment. *Points their phone towards the blonde in the dance studio*

Austin A: And… *Swaying his hips* Sashay. Sashay. *Notices the others aren’t following him* I said SASHAY!

Adrien: What is this even for?

Austin A: Because I felt like forming a blonde dance crew.

Chloé: Dude! Lead with that!

Rose: And you’re working those hips wrong! Watch and learn, Armbruster!

—

Nino/Lila: *Getting their makeup done* Scar Twins, bitches!

—

Ivan: Fun fact, Stoneheart was actually me in a green body suit and everything I threw was made of Styrofoam. Super easy to lift.

Myléne: It was a pretty complicated scene when Stoneheart kidnapped Chloé and I. There were different wires, a mechanical arm, all that jazz.

Chloé: But the thing that wasn’t fake was me getting thrown! It was fucking awesome!

Ivan: Uh! Let’s not forget to add that there was an abundance of airbags below you.

Chloé: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I had so much fun, I actually went skydiving after the shoot.

—

Denise: So, I’m the cast’s unquestioned fitness guru, meaning I help to keep ‘em in shape. Each character has certain muscles the fandom likes to obsess over. Take Nath’s legs for example.

Nathaniel: *Incoherrent yelling as he crushes a watermelon between his thighs* DIE, YOU WATERMELON! *The watermelon gets crushed* YEAH! GIMME A PUMPKIN NEXT!

Denise: Fans are also pretty obsessed with Marinette’s biceps.

Marinette: *Deadlifting a couch* No one! Stop me!

Denise: And Ismael and Nino like to work out to build muscle and look a bit more masculine.

Nino: *Spotting Ismael* Who’s the manliest man?!

Ismael: I am!

Nino: Who’s gonna punch the transphobes?!

Ismael: I AM!

Denise: We have fun. But remember, it’s important to feel comfortable in your own body.

—

Cosette: I’m sure you can tell that Jean’s excited for the upcoming musical numbers.

Jean: *Running around the studio screaming*

Cosette: *Chuckles* I can tell ya, he’s gonna sleep well tonight… Did I mention I’m getting a girlfriend?

—

Lacey: I’m pretty stoked I’m gonna have a big role in Riposte. In the original show, you see me as one of the students trying out for the team, but of course… No lines.

Nathaniel: Well, I’m nervous as hell. I’ve only been practicing fencing for a short time, but I’m still nowhere good.

Kagami: This is why we practice on weekends, Nath. And you’re getting better, so stop putting yourself down.

Nathaniel: Never!

—

XY: *Spooning with Luka and Adrien* We’re rehearsing.

Rose: But this scene isn’t for like another… Thirty episodes-

Adrien: Hush, demon! This is a private rehearsal! *Kisses XY’s neck while Luka nuzzles against his back*

—

Simon: *Having his makeup done while he sits in Denise’s lap* Here’s a fun little tidbit for you guys. A lot of my Gaeilge is unscripted. Yeah, when I have my little angry moments, I can’t help but curse in my native tongue.

Denise: The only thing I understand is ‘shite.’

Simon: And I don’t understand a lick of Spanish. We’re perfect for each other!

—

Reshma: The design team will be incorporating my character’s interest in magical girl anime and anime in general into my clothing, so Sailor Moon jewelry, My Hero Academia bags, Princess TuTu hair accessories, and my true favorite, a Revolutionary Girl Utena jacket!

Ismael: *While Reshma happy flaps* While she’s excited about that, I’m excited about getting some new cardigans. I mean, who doesn’t love a cardigan?

—

Cosette: *Live streaming Nino and Myléne meditating* They’ve been like this for two hours now. Tell me, guys. Should I call for help?

Nino: … *Snores*

Cosette: Oh, thank God!

—

Marc: I’ve gotta say, it’s nice not having to pretend to be shorter than I actually am. It was messing up my back, I… I don’t know why they didn’t just give other characters platform shoes.

Denise: But on a lighter note, Marc keeps bumping into a bunch of stuff! *Cackles* It’s hilarious!

Marc: I’m so used to slouching! *Storms out of the room and bumps into the doorframe* Damnit! Stupid low doorframe! Who needs a door that small?!

Denise: If you’re wondering, Marc and I are both 206.5 centimeters and the doorways here are like 200 centimeters.

—

Ismael: And we’re back to another screening of “Tall People Problems!”

Cosette: Watch Reshma struggle to sit in that chair. *Points her phone toward Reshma with her legs at an awkward position while she’s sitting*

Reshma: … Ugh! *Tucks in her legs* … Forget it. *Sits on the floor*

Ismael: Tragic, isn’t it? Now let’s see how Denise is faring.

Cosette: *Points phone over to Denise, right as they bump into an exit sign*

Denise: ¡Mierda!

Cosette: *Snickers* And now, our favorite subject. Marc Anciel. A young man who just won’t admit he’s taller than a standard doorframe. *Points phone to Marc*

Marc: *Walking off set and comes across the door* … Not this time. *Ducks under the doorframe* HA! I did it- OW! Why is there another door?!